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4-11-2013 The aC rroll News- Vol. 89, No. 18 John Carroll University

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Thursday,C AprilARROLL 11, 2013 The Student Voice of John Carroll University N Since 1925 EWSVol. 89, No. 18 JCU parody Twitter accounts are a The Carroll ‘trending topic’ on campus News takes Ryllie Danylko he opened up the opportunity to his followers to send him a message home 9 Campus Editor with a Twitter handle of a friend who needed a compliment, and he would mention them in a tweet from JCUcompliments. JCU students who have something to say about the University At press time, JCUcompliments had 840 followers, and, according SPJ awards and its students have found an anonymous outlet for their feelings. to the person behind it, many positive reactions. On campus, students are eagerly following the several JCU-themed “If you look at my interactions, it’s showered with retweets and fa- Twitter parody accounts that have popped up recently. The accounts vorites – at least four per tweet,” he said. “Occasionally, I’ll get people Each year, the Society of Professional range from funny to encouraging to potentially embarrassing. who will tweet at me saying the compliments are shallow.” Journalists hosts regional conferences But parody accounts are not a new phenomenon. Accounts parody- Another one of the more recently created accounts, JCUcrushes across the country for professional and ing everyone from the pope to the president to “Condescending Willy (@JCUcrushes), experienced overwhelming popularity since its cre- student journalists, journalism educators Wonka” have upwards of 10,000 – and in some cases – hundreds of ation in March. The account had 1,069 followers at press time, and and public relations practitioners across thousands of followers who “retweet” and “favorite” their humorous 1,138 tweets. the country. or satirical content. The creator of JCUcrushes says she was inspired by a friend from The Carroll News is part of Region 4, A more recent trend that has swept across college campuses is another university that had a crushes account. including Ohio, Michigan, West Virginia accounts that poke fun at, satirize, flatter and sometimes potentially “They said it blew up at their school, and so I figured I would give and the western part of Pennsylvania. The embarrass students and their university. it a try, since JCU didn’t have a crushes account,” she said. CN is in the category of small schools. Among JCU students, one of the most active accounts is JCUcom- Unlike JCUcompliments, JCUcrushes’ tweets aren’t directly from the Awards given out at these conferences pliments (@JCUcompliments). While all of the people behind the person running the account. She created a link where people can send recognize outstanding student journalists accounts asked to remain anonymous, the student behind JCUcompli- in a tweet about someone at JCU they’re crushing on, and she copies for their work during a calendar year. ments gave The Carroll News some insight into the account. and pastes the tweet as is. This year received The CN numer- JCUcompliments began as a reaction to another account, called The account experienced extreme popularity within the first two days ous regional awards from the Society of “JCU Hot or Not” (which has since been deleted), that posted pictures of its creation. JCUcrushes said the account grew at an overwhelming Professional Journalists, including: of JCU students and rated them as either “hot” or “not,” and often rate, gaining 1,000 followers by its second night. provided other commentary on the person’s level of attractiveness. “The second day that the Twitter had been active, I had people tweet- Non-daily newspaper: The Carroll “There was so much negativity, and I realized there isn’t a single ing anonymously at me like crazy, so I was posting an insane amount positive parody account on Twitter, so why not me?” the student behind of tweets. I actually was locked out of Twitter several times, which put News, second place JCUcompliments said. me even more behind in tweeting, because people were sending in and He started complimenting his friends and acquaintances based on I couldn’t post,” she said. General column writing: Brian Bayer, good qualities he had noticed and recruited friends who had diverse Like JCUcompliments, JCUcrushes has gotten mixed reactions, but “The Bayer Necessities,” first place; friend groups to help his compliments reach a wider audience. Later, Please see TWITTER, p. 2 Clara Richter, “Off the Richter,” second place; Dan Cooney, “Cooney Meets World,” third place

The Plain Dealer cuts staff and Sports writing: Zach Mentz, second place for “The beginning of a new era: Former Blue Streak and NFL QB delivery services Tom Arth named head football coach.” Abigail Rings Assistant Campus Editor Feature writing: Dan Cooney, second With the rise of the Internet, print media has been struggling more and more to compete with the place for “Presidential perspectives: instant gratification that online news and information sources offer. It seems that almost no city has been The CN’s exclusive interview with untouched, including Cleveland. Niehoff.” The company that owns The Plain Dealer, Advance Publications, has been making cuts to its newspapers across the board this year, and the new changes are in response to the growing concerns that electronic In-depth reporting: Spencer German media is overtaking print media in a way that is requiring newspapers to cut back. and Zach Mentz, second place for “Learn- Months ago, The Plain Dealer announced that they were going to have to lay off workers and reconsider ing from scandal: What Penn State’s their printing and delivery schedules. This news alarmed many, as concern for Cleveland’s daily paper failure to report sexual abuse can teach grew. As more information was received, the people of Cleveland learned the negotiation process was most our University;” Brian Bayer and Ryllie likely going to be long and drawn out, but Advance Publications has finally reached a decision. Danylko, third place for “Contraception, On April 4, The PD announced that it is going to continue printing seven days a week, but home deliv- health care coverage discussion reaches ery is going to be cut down to three days a week. The days the newspaper will be delivered is still being John Carroll University.” determined, but Sunday will be one of those days. The changes in the delivery schedule will start later this summer. The PD will still be available, in print, at thousands of locations across Cleveland. General news reporting: Dan Cooney, In addition to home delivery being cut down, one-third of the newsroom staff will be cut. The layoffs were announced in February and then originally scheduled for May, but are now being pushed back to second place for “Campus Safety Servic- later this summer. es seeking permission to carry guns.” The changes are not just limited to The PD. In order to meet the demands of the local readers and advertisers, a new company is being formed that is going to partner with The PD. The Northeast Ohio Because he received a first place award Media Group is going to begin this summer to focus on the digital aspects of the newspaper, including for his column writing, Brian Bayer will all ad sales and marketing and the management of Cleveland.com. Andrea Hogben, current senior vice be moving on to the national competition. president of sales and marketing at The PD, will take over as president of the new company. Congratulations to all of the staff and Together with The Plain Dealer Publishing Company, the Northeast Ohio Media group is going to writers on their excellent work.

Photo from thoughtsintoaction.net and displays2go.com Please see PLAIN DEALER, p. 3

Index Finance 12 Inside this issue: Find us online 2 Diversions 16 Campus “Blink: Can you see Arts & Life 4 Editorial 17 me?” play addresses Sports 8 Op/Ed 18 prejudices, p. 4 issuu.com/ World News 10 Classifieds 20 Like us on Facebook @TheCarrollNews thecarrollnews Campus 3 The Carroll News www.jcunews.com April 11, 2013 JCU’s dedication to service recognized: University wins ‘President’s Higher Education Community Service Honor Roll’ Where are they now? Two JCU alumni discuss their post-graduate lives

Jon Hatgas Jeff Hatgas Year Graduated: May 2012 Year Graduated: May 2012 Major: Psychology Major: Psychology Current Location: Los Angeles, Calif. Current Location: Boston, Mass.

What was your favorite thing about attending school at John Carroll? What was your favorite thing about attending school at John Carroll? That’s tough. JCU has a lot of great things going for it. The one thing I consistently go back to is I liked how I was able to be involved with a lot of different clubs and activities and the community. There are so many great people so close who are smart, driven and have their priorities meet so many different people. straight. What are you currently doing and what are the details of that work? What are you currently doing and what are the details of that work? I’m a Jesuit Volunteer in Boston. I coordinate an after school-program for second to I am a youth minister in Los Angeles at Dolores Mission Church. I’m in the Jesuit Volunteer Corps, fifth graders and also help with ESOL classes for adults at Casserly House. which is a year-long volunteer program. I run a youth group, coordinate immersions, am in charge of the Confirmation program and help out with a scholarship program. Mostly, I work with high school- What is the best part about your current job? aged youth to help them grow and strengthen their spirituality. Casserly House is small, so I love having a variety of responsibilities. I also love get- ting to learn about new and different cultures by talking with our students (right now we What at JCU, if anything, prepared you most for your current job? have students from 16+ different countries)! Two things helped a lot: service and campus ministry. Service helped give me a glimpse of what dif- ferent people face in life and help prepare me for the type of community in which I’d be living. Being What at JCU if anything prepared you most for your current job? involved in campus ministry showed me how essential spirituality is in life. By going on retreats and I think that being involved with a variety of things at the same time while at JCU helping lead them, I became more comfortable talking with other people about their spiritual lives. taught me how to prioritize tasks, as well as how to shift from one set of tasks to another easily. What advice do you have for someone looking to enter a similar career? Keep an open mind and open heart. No matter how much you think you know coming into work, What advice do you have for someone looking to enter a similar career? reality will always be much different than your expectations. Surprises always come up. You just have Just be open to trying new things. A year is just that, it’s only a year. You’d be sur- to learn to be flexible and not stress too much. prised how much you can learn about yourself in that amount of time!

How can JCU students contact you for more advice in following a similar path? How can JCU students contact you for more advice in following a similar path? Check out the Post-Graduate Volunteer Fair at John Carroll next year or email me at jmhatgas12@ Feel free to email me: [email protected] jcu.edu! I’m always happy to talk with people even remotely considering doing a year of service.

From PLAIN DEALER, p. 1 a daily newspaper would be very helpful in strengthening the community and credibility of Cleveland.” provide everything for both the print and digital services of the Sophomore Tim Ficke also expressed his concern. “I think Introducing The Carroll newspaper. The two companies will have the biggest news- it is important for Cleveland to have a daily paper. It is a very gathering operation in the region and 10 times the number of convenient way for people in the city and surrounding area News 2013-2014 staff journalists than any other local media outlet. The Plain Dealer to get to know what is going on news and event-wise in their Publishing Company indicated that their current combined city,” he said. Editor in Chief World News print and digital audience is bigger than ever. The company He continued, “Newspapers give different and more holis- thinks that the new digitally centered company is an important tic views on things, which often times the news media does Zach Mentz Editor investment in the newspaper’s future. not.” Sam Lane With the creation of the new company, The PD also an- Distler added, “I believe that newspapers and journalism Managing Editor Katelyn DeBaun nounced that they would be offering an enhanced e-edition will always be relevant. There will always be a market for it, Ryllie Danylko of the newspaper, free of charge, to all of their subscribers. because there are people who believe information more when Business and The e-edition looks just like the printed newspaper but can they see it on paper.” Campus Editors Finance Editor be accessed on a variety of technological devices, including Some professors seemed to disagree with how The PD dealt smartphones. The e-edition of the newspaper will be available with the crisis. Carrie Buchanan, assistant professor in the Tim Abigail Rings Anthony Ahlegian for purchase by anyone, including those who do not wish to Russert Department of Communications and Theatre Arts, said, Jackie Mitchell receive The PD to their homes. Cleveland.com will also be en- “The company that now owns The Plain Dealer has shown, through Sports Editor hanced to provide readers across the country with updated and the very secretive way it is carrying out major changes in its own Arts and Joe Ginley important news from Cleveland and the surrounding areas. procedures, that it cares little for public input.” Life Editor When asked what they thought about the changes to The While some are angered about the cuts and changes to The Alex Higl Diversions Editor PD, students acknowledged the importance of newspapers PD, students seem to think that they did the best they could Mitch Quataert Nicholas Sciarappa in cities such as Cleveland. Sophomore Rachel Distler said, with a difficult situation. “Cleveland, being the city that it is, should have a daily Distler said, “Although it is disappointing that The Plain newspaper. There are constantly new developments being Dealer will not be delivering daily, they are still continuing to Editorial & Cartoonist made here and around the world that the people of Cleveland print daily, which gives Clevelanders the opportunity to pick up Op/Ed Editor Nicholas Sciarappa should know about. The city is desperately trying to build itself a paper everyday. The Plain Dealer is not shutting down, they Clara Richter back up. If the city is looking to gain businesses and tourism, are just changing their format to get back on their feet again.” Campus Calendar : April 11 – April 17

11 Thursday 12 Friday 13 Saturday 14 Sunday 15 Monday 16 Tuesday 17 Wednesday SUPB hosts Thursday “Style Your Sole” event Kulas Grant hosts Club men’s lacrosse Resident Campus Last day for spring Take Back the Night Night Live, featuring with the TOMS club in “War Horse” at the versus Oakland at home Ministry intern 2013 course march and speak-out in Paul Varges, at 9 p.m. the Underground from Palace Theatre from from 6 to 9 p.m. applications due. withdrawal. the LSC Atrium from in the LSC Atrium. 10 p.m. to 1 a.m. 7:30 to 11 p.m. 7 to 9 p.m. 2 Campus April 11, 2013 www.jcunews.com The Carroll News Campus JCU’s dedication to service recognized: University wins ‘President’s Higher Education Community Service Honor Roll’

Briefs Karly Kovac two-thirds of JCU students lending aid and students research topics of injustice, law and Provost’s Office hosts Staff Reporter with 86 service-learning courses offered in the collective action to teach ways in which their John Carroll University’s dedication to ser- curriculum, the President’s Community Honor voice can make positive difference in their lecture by Andrew vice is again being recognized at the national Roll recognition reflects this engagement that communities. level. Having devoted over 70,000 hours of Finuncane believes sets John Carroll service Over 200 of the eighth grade students Delbanco efforts in 2012 alone, JCU was recognized participants apart from the rest. involved in the Youth for Justice program Andrew Delbanco, the Mendelson with 14 other schools amongst 690 contenders “If you’re going to rake leaves, we ask will be having a fair hosted at John Carroll Family Chair of American Studies and the as a finalist in the President’s Higher Educa- that you talk to the person you are raking the this Friday, displaying boards of their various Julian Clarence Levi Professor of the Hu- tion Community Service Honor Roll. leaves for. It’s about creating relationships,” research topics of acts of injustice. They will manities at Columbia University, will be The program’s purpose is ultimately to she said. present these boards to a panel of judges, and visiting John Carroll University as part of acknowledge universities that have made a Maryellen Callanan, associate director the winning team will show their presentations the 2013 Celebration of Scholarship. He will distinct and lasting impact on their surround- for CSSA, added, “The reason community in Columbus to the Ohio Center for Law- be giving a presentation on his recent book, ing communities, according to a press release partners want John Carroll students is because Related Education. “College: What it Was, Is, and Should Be.” on JCU’s website. The University’s Center they engage with people in a unique, person- Callanan feels that John Carroll’s commit- In the book, Delbanco argues that college for Service and Social Action director, Mar- able way.” ment to programs such as these “is leadership is becoming a privilege, something only open garet Finucane, said, “For students who are CSSA offers diverse opportunities that can that challenges you. It is a service in which to the very wealthy. His argument focuses on interested in service, a major part of the Jesuit be one-time, weekly or immersion-based ser- your presence makes a difference in their explaining what a college education should mission is commitment to the community and vice experiences. Of the variety of volunteer lives, as well as they make a difference in be and why it is something that needs to be serving others. This award puts us in the top services that John Carroll offers, work in the your life.” available to everyone. two percent of schools that won the award, St. Clair/Superior Neighborhood, Footprints The distinction of the recognition to Finu- The event, sponsored by the Provost’s and that recognition in itself is a national ap- for Fatima and the Ohio Graduation Test cane is “not to do something for someone else Office, is free and open to the public and will preciation of the work that the John Carroll Tutoring Program were among some of the as a ‘check it off the list, put it on my resume, take place in the Donahue Auditorium in the students do in the community. It is a strong programs highlighted to show John Carroll’s let’s move on,’ it’s about finding opportunities Dolan Center for Science and Technology on endorsement for anyone looking at us as an commitment to the Cleveland community. to learn from those experiences, to service Thursday April 11, at 5 pm. institution, and our student involvement is a The “We the People” and “Youth for others and to engage with people and learn real draw.” Justice” programs are also among some of from them—to learn about your life and to Mayo Clinic of Finuncane also said that JCU President, the programs that reach out to the Cleveland grow and to challenge yourself. It’s easy, in the Rev. Robert Niehoff, S.J. has been “very metropolitan area. Offered for fifth and eighth some respects, to work with people who are Cleveland offers study intentional about providing support and build- graders, and at the high school level, the “We just like you, but that does not force you to ing service here, making it an important part the People” program is the main social stud- grow in the same way. Working with someone abroad scholarship of the student experience at John Carroll.” ies curriculum for many schools in the area, different than you—either socioeconomically, JCU also works towards seeking out providing a hands-on education on the Con- racially, ethnically, religiously—it challenges The Mayo Clinic of Cleveland is offer- community leaders to be a part of programs stitution and how to engage its ideals within you to step outside yourself and see the world ing scholarships for John Carroll University like the Arrupe Scholars. With an estimated communities. Through these programs, many differently,” she said. students to study abroad at the National University of Ireland-Galway. From TWITTER, p. 1 A more playful account, jcuSQUIRREL (@jcuSQUIRREL), tweets The scholarships are open to students plenty of retweets, favorites and responses. Often times, someone will from the perspective of “the most notorious squirrel that runs around of all majors and NUI-G offers courses in tag the person mentioned to show him or her that they were talked about campus,” according to its profile. jcuSQUIRREL was created in November over 30 disciplines for exchange students. on the account, according to JCUcrushes. 2011, making it one of the oldest parody accounts on campus. jcuSQUIR- Students are reminded that tuition for this “I saw some people tweet how they loved the account and found it REL tweets about events on campus, the weather in Cleveland, popular program is at the standard JCU rate and that hilarious, and others tweeted that the account was immature, or that the culture on campus and food – with a common theme of nuts working its there are a few competitive scholarships account was tweeting too fast and to slow it down,” she said. way into much of the content. The student who created jcuSQUIRREL offered by JCU for this program. One of the many satirical JCU accounts, which goes by the handle said that people often take pictures of squirrels on campus and send the The scholarship application can be JCUNEVERSAYS (@JCU_NEVER_SAYS), tweets about “things that pictures to her account. obtained at JCU’s Center for Global Edu- the general population of John Carroll students would never say, and “I have gotten a lot of people tweeting photos of a squirrel and tagging cation or it can be downloaded at http:// pokes fun at the things that generally bother students on a regular basis,” it with silly comments such as, ‘@jcuSQUIRREL should probably go on www.jcu.edu/global/study/funding.htm. according to a student who runs it. a diet. #chunker,’” she said. More information can be found at this same While JCUNEVERSAYS did not experience the same instantaneous One popular theme among college parody accounts is to report who website. The deadline for study abroad pro- growth that JCUcrushes did, 224 people follow it, and, according to the kissed whom at weekend parties, usually with photographic evidence to grams in Spring 2014 is October 1. student, it gains an average of 10 followers per week. The reactions to prove it. A JCU student followed this trend and created JCU Makeout (@ JCUNEVERSAYS have been largely positive, the student said. JCUmakeout) in fall of 2012. The content from this account is comprised of retweets from JCU students who post pictures of other students caught JCU baseball snogging in public. However, this account, like many others, quickly died out (at press time, its most recent tweet was posted Feb. 22). celebrates 40 years Other accounts include Overheard At JCU (@overheardatJCU), JCU John Carroll University is celebrating Probz (@JCUprobz), JCUpassouts (@JCUpassouts) and JCU ADVICE 40 years of baseball this spring. Alumni (@JCUadvice). players and their families are invited to The University does monitor the accounts, to an extent. According to come to JCU on Friday, May 3, and Satur- JCUcrushes, someone from the University contacted her asking her to day, May 4 for a weekend of celebration. change the account’s picture from the JCU seal to make sure that the ac- On Friday, there will be an alumni count would not be mistakenly affiliated with the school. social hosted at Jake’s Speakeasy, where JCU faculty and staff members do not underestimate the influence alumni players can meet the 2013 base- Twitter can have on students. Senior Director of Creative Services and ball team. Tickets are $10, and food and E-Marketing Mike Richwalsky said, “If done in a positive way, [these a cash bar will be provided. On Saturday, accounts] can serve to bring the community together. Accounts like @ there will be an alumni batting practice jcuSQUIRREL and @JCUcompliments are fun and bring a bit of levity at Schweickert Field, campus tours and to the day-to-day work we all do.” lunch in the Shula Room. The cost is $15, but children under six are free. The final He noted that the anonymity of Twitter can become challenging because event on Saturday will be a double header there is no accountability if a negative or demeaning account is created. against Ohio Northern University. Public relations expert Jennifer Catellier, assistant professor in the Tim The celebration will continue rain or Russert Department of Communication and Theatre Arts, thinks these types shine. More information and the form for of accounts are here to stay. the weekend is available at https://johncar- “When one account dies out or the owner loses interest, another will rolluniversity.wufoo.com/forms/celebrate- Photo from twitter.com often pop up in its place,” she said. “It’s just so easy to create an account 40-years-of-john-carroll-baseball/. jcuSQUIRREL regularly tweets from a campus squirrel’s and tweet that people will likely keep doing this as long as Twitter is perspective and often interacts with other parody accounts. popular.” Campus Safety Log

April 1, 2013 April 3, 2013 Theft of altar wine from St. Francis Chapel at 2:35 p.m. Permit reported stolen from a vehicle in Main Drive at 4:36 p.m. April 2, 2013 April 5, 2013 Missing prescription medicine reported in Dolan Hall Damage to a third floor men’s restroom of Murphy Hall reported at at 4:04 p.m. 3:03 p.m. Drug paraphernalia reported in Sutowski Hall at 10:39 p.m. These incidents are taken from the files of Campus Safety Services, located in the lower level of the Lombardo Student Center. For more information, contact x1615. 4 Arts & Life April 11, 2013 www.jcunews.com The Carroll News The power of music creates community JCU faculty form intergenerational choir to debunk stereotypes of Alzeheimer’s disease

Alexandra Higl Although Caporella had never done any- showing how music helped them deal with the their family members. Arts & Life Editor thing like this before, she jumped at the chance aging process in an enjoyable way. “When I was first introduced to the couple to implement this social justice initiative on This concept sparked an idea. Harris I was paired with, I was so happy,” said God- It’s a few minutes before 5 p.m. on a campus. “Once I heard the idea, I was really began the research project to form an inter- dard. “They both had the best sense of humor Thursday, and people begin to enter Room 24 excited about it,” said Caporella. “It was a generational choir before Christmas Break by and made the first rehearsal so much fun.” of the Lombardo Student Center. The group good opportunity for [John Carroll] students enlisting Caporella’s support, approaching the The first rehearsal surprised both Harris reconnects with friendly conversation, catch- and myself to work in a new environment. Cleveland Area Alzheimer’s Association with and Caporella. “I remember by the end of ing up on the week’s happenings. Energized The process has delighted me.” the idea and getting the research approved by the first rehearsal, I had tears in my eyes,” and ready to go, the community gets down According to Harris, John Carroll stu- the JCU Institutional Review Board for the said Harris. to work. dents are no different than anyone else when protection of human subjects. Caporella added that “the blending of They warm up their bodies, their voices stereotyping someone with Alzheimer’s dis- From there, the recruitment process began. voices was amazing.” and review the material from last rehearsal. ease. “They have a lot of misunderstandings Word of mouth spread, and students from John Not only were the faculty members sur- They may look different. They may come about the disease, and one of the ways of Carroll not only had to complete a vocal audi- prised by day one, but so were the students. from different backgrounds. Some are John lessening the misunderstandings is bring- tion with Caporella, but were also screened After receiving feedback that will be used as Carroll students from different states, while ing people with Alzheimer’s disease and by Harris for the research component. Upon part of the research project, Harris noted that others are older adults from surrounding students together in an enjoyable setting, completion of the process, 13 students were “the students in particular were just blown neighborhoods. Their ages vary from 18 to 88. and working towards a common goal,” she chosen. away.” She added that she had a research Yet, this intimate group of 26 people shares a said. The response of interested students was assistant with her that day who reacted in a common ground: music. Freshman Catherine Calhoun described overwhelming. Sophomore Danielle God- similar way. Penny Harris, chair of the sociology and the overall experience as rewarding and dard expressed her immediate desire to join “[The music] sent chills down her body,” criminology department and director of the enjoyable despite her initial apprehension the choir once word had spread. “Service said Harris. aging studies program, and Cynthia Caporella, to joining the unique group. “I didn’t know and singing are my two favorite things to Senior Maria Simone applauded the way director of liturgical music and musical arts, what to expect when I first entered the choir do at John Carroll, so when I first received music has transformed the group into a com- formed the first intergenerational choir for room,” said Calhoun. “But I am so glad that an email about the intergenerational choir, munity. “I have learned that music has the college students, people with early-stage Al- I signed up. The people I have met are all I was so excited,” said Goddard. “I had no power to put all obstacles aside and connect zheimer’s and families at John Carroll. friendly, and they always make me laugh. previous experience working with adults with those around you,” she said. Harris first created the choir as part of a They show you this whole other view of what with Alzheimer’s, so I was not exactly sure Although the future of the choir is un- research project to help fight Alzheimer’s it is like to live with Alzheimer’s.” what to expect.” certain, the group is eager to perform at the stigma, and conquer the stereotypes that come Although the group is in full motion The research team partnered with the educational event on April 17 at 7 p.m., which with the diagnosis. “When a person is diag- and ready for their upcoming performance Cleveland Area Alzheimer’s Association, will be free and open to the public. The event nosed with Alzheimer’s disease, that is how on April 17 at the 23rd annual Alzheimer’s where they drew 13 people from both the will feature five well-known songs that were they are defined,” said Harris. “Many don’t Disease Educational Event held in Donahue west and east sides of Cleveland. Many of the carefully chosen by Caporella to fit the needs see the person behind it – just the disease. Auditorium, the choir faced the challenge of participants chosen grew up singing in their of the choir. With the diagnosis comes many misunder- having a small timeframe to rehearse. church or city choirs. Harris and Caporella hope that the audi- standings and confusions.” Harris first got the idea to form the choir Valentine’s Day marked a milestone for the ence will gain delight and joy from listening In hopes of combating these misunder- when one of her past students from an aging research project: day one of rehearsals. The to seemingly diverse people coming together standings, Harris joined forces with Caporella studies class worked in marketing and adver- members of the choir were buddied up to help to make music. “In the end,” said Harris, to form a community on John Carroll’s cam- tising for a film called “Young at Heart.” This one another, fostering an interaction between “it’s all about forgetting differences and pus through the healing powers of music. documentary followed an older singing group, a student and someone with Alzheimer’s and understanding commonalities.” JCU play, ‘Blink: Can you see me?’ addresses contemporary prejudice Madeline Smanik slurs that come from these ways of Staff Reporter thinking. However, the play does not ignore the voices of those op- This weekend, students at John Carroll will posed to prejudice. It recognizes the have the opportunity to see a play that was writ- existence of people who are against ten by one of JCU’s very own professors. Mary hate, especially those who are will- Weems, assistant professor in the Department ing to speak up. of Education and Allied Studies, wrote “Blink: Director Karen Gygli said sim- Can you see me?” which addresses tough is- ply, “Diversity is challenging, fun, sues that are especially prevalent on college dynamic, energetic and beautiful,” campuses today. The play was also directed and that “everyone is welcome at and performed by members of the John Carroll the table–or should be.” community. The events of the play are based The opening scene shows a variety of stu- on real experiences. After the perfor- dents walking to class at a private university, mance, there was a discussion where meant to resemble John Carroll. Almost right the audience members were given the away, they begin to demonstrate the vast chance to ask questions of the cast. presence of discrimination in everyday life. About the play in general, Weems “Blink” does not waste any time getting to said, “The purpose of this play is to important issues. use the experiences of the participants Each scene is relatively short in length, to prompt constructive, critical dia- but packs a punch when it comes to taking logues which lead to a greater under- an in-depth look at the reality of discrimination. standing of how important empathy, Because prejudice plays an unfortunately large acceptance and interculturalism are as role in society, everyone who attends this play we move forward to becoming a more will see something unnervingly familiar. unified society in the 21st century.” Photo by Keith Nagy Junior River Onwudinjo, an actor in “Blink,” When asked what she hopes stu- The cast of ‘Blink: Can you see me?’ performed last weekend at Kulas Auditorium. said he noticed the audience “showing strong dents will take away from the performance, reactions” during a scene that involved signs Weems said, “Learn to ‘see’ the prejudice and “Blink” will be performed April 12 and 13 Editor’s Note: To report incidences of depicting discriminatory words and phrases. bias which is happening in the blink of an eye at 7:30 p.m. and April 14 at 2 p.m. in Kulas bias at JCU, please go to sites.jcu.edu/ The characters cover everything from ho- on college campuses and other venues all over Auditorium. The show is free to JCU students bias and click on “Report Bias.” mophobia and racism to the bigoted acts and this country and the world.” with a valid student ID. Entertainment Calendar Check out what’s happening in Cleveland this week! 4.11 4.12 4.13 4.14 Danceworks 2013 “Blink: Can you see me?” I-X Indoor Amusement Park “War Horse” Cleveland Public Theatre JCU’s Kulas Auditorium I-X Center PlayhouseSquare’s 7 p.m. 7:30 p.m. 3 p.m. Palace Theatre $10 Free with valid student ID $19 6:30 p.m. $10 Arts & Life 5 The Carroll News www.jcunews.com April 11, 2013 The interview corner... The CN sat down with actors Ryan Gosling, Dane DeHaan and Eva Mendes, and director Derek Cianfrance to discuss their new film, ‘Place Beyond the Pines.’ – Interview by Mitch Quataert

The Carroll News: This very real place (Schenectady) is embedded in the story and characters’ lives; how did it informed your work?

Derek Cianfrance: Schenectady is where my wife is from, and for the last 10 years [that] I have been visiting her family, I felt like I was doing a location scout. Every time I drove past the bank that’s on the poster, I thought it would be a cool place for a bank robbery. Then I met this writer and found out he was from Schenectady, too. It has had a brighter day, it’s sort of like what happened in Detroit or in Rochester. We just decided it would be the right place to make a movie. The movie is about legacy, and Schenectady has a real past.

Eva Mendes: Derek has this idea and said to me, “Why don’t you go work at the diner you work at in the movie on your days off? Go be a waitress.” And so I went and got to know the women who worked there, and I got to hear some amazing stories. They were born and raised there, and it was great because they didn’t recognize me, so it wasn’t like, “Oh, actress trying to be normal.” It has this ghost town vibe about it, and it really helped me get into my role.

Ryan Gosling: I’m from the Canadian equivalent of Scranton, so I felt at home there; it’s very similar to where I’m from. I spent about a month just riding around.

CN: Can you talk about the process of making the opening scene? CN: Was it difficult working in a movie as a cast that is broken up into three different stages? Derek Cianfrance: We thought we needed to start the movie off CN: Was there a defining moment reading this with an epic opening shot like so many of our favorite films. I feel script where you knew you wanted to take on this Ryan Gosling: I think we were all pretty excited about like in the first five to 10 minutes of any movie, you kind of teach project? that structure. You have to admire Derek, because even the audience how to watch, and I wanted the audience in this movie though it can be frustrating at times, he’s the most to be alert and active. I wanted their imaginations to peak, because Eva Mendes: When they told me the director was stubborn man of all time, and everybody told him to cut I want them to be watching the movie; I didn’t want to manipulate Derek. Basically I saw “Blue Valentine,” and I it and change it, and everyone I think assumed he would them, and they are part of the movie. We came up with this idea of really wanted to meet with him. cave in the edit, but he didn’t. You have the construction Ryan starting in this trailer and walking through the carnival and of everything you love in a movie, but he has constructed people are taking pictures of him, and we keep learning something them in a different way; and for someone who loves new about him – you are going to learn something as this shot those kinds of movies, it’s nice to experience them in a unfolds. different way.

CN: Did you guys have to improvise a lot on set?

Dane DeHaan: I think what Derek does is he creates incredibly real environments and just throws us in there to see what happens. You kind of show up every day knowing the scene and what’s on the page. But more importantly you need to understand what that scene needs to achieve for the movie.

Derek Cianfrance: By the time we shoot, I’m so sick of the script and myself. All of the sudden I’m on set with these magical people who are courageous, and all I can do is instigate things. I have so much respect for them and what they can do, and their courage. What’s most important for me with actors is I want them to surprise me, and I want them to fail; I feel like if they can surprise me, as an audience member I like feeling surprised. And also if they can fail, I ask them to push themselves to failure because all of the sudden there is no more judgment, and that means they can succeed greatly because it’s okay to fail.

Eva Mendes: I had never really thought about it that way before, and it really made me rethink when you are on set and about to do a scene and they say, “and ACTION!” and it made me hate that, because when they say ‘action’ that’s an incredible amount of pressure to just go and perform – that’s basically wrapped up into what “action” means, and it’s frightening. When Derek would say, “Okay, no go fail!” I’d be like, “Cool!” because the pressure is off. He would say, “Let’s make our first pancake” because you know how usually your first pancake sucks? Well there’s just so much freedom in that, and I loved it.

The Carroll News talked with director Harmony Korine Here’s what director Jon Chu had to say and actress Ashley Benson from the new movie ‘Spring about the new ‘G.I. Joe’ sequel: ‘G.I. Joe: Breakers.’ Here’s what they had to say: Retaliation’: – Interview by Alexandra Higl – Interview by Alexandra Higl

The Carroll News: Can you tell me The Carroll News: What was one of the biggest challenges you faced in about deciding to cast this film? I understand actresses like a making G.I. Joe? change, but it seems like this is not something that their fan base is going to be able to see anyway. Can you talk about that? Jon Chu: One of the biggest challenges was I think just the sheer enormity of the production. Sometimes you have 700 people on set. And it’s hard Harmony Korine: Sure. But I disagree that their fans won’t see it. I mean, I think that their when you are used to smaller movies – you’re used to doing everything; fans will also grow up and eventually see it. So I think that we make a movie, and the movie you’re used to controlling everything; you’re used to overseeing exists forever, and so eventually people will find it – people that aren’t old enough to see it now will everything. There’s a certain point where you literally, physically can’t be old enough to see it in a few years; and hopefully they’ll enjoy it. I wanted to work with these girls, see everything. You can’t see every button on every costume; you can’t first and foremost, because they were the best for the part. They were the most interesting for the part. And see every explosion; you can barely keep up with understanding how the then, on top of it, I liked the fact that they were connected culturally to this kind of – almost this kind of pop explosions are working to know exactly what’s there. mythology. And I thought it was an interesting counter to their perception and what they’ve done in the past. And I thought it was exciting for them. They were all at a place in their life where they wanted to try things that were It took a lot of communication in pre-production with each of the heads more graphic, more extreme – a different type of acting. And so that was obvious; and that’s what they did. And it of each department to communicate what story we’re trying to tell, what was great. feel we were trying to give, what look we were trying to create. And then, there’s a certain point where you have to just let them fly and trust CN: You’re known for your role on “Pretty Little Liars,” and most of your audience – they know you as that role on that they’re going to get it done. And of course, you can do last-minute “Pretty Little Liars.” So why the huge jump on to a provocative film? changes and things like that. But ultimately, there’s only so much you can do. So that trust – that importance of crewing up with the right crew was a Ashley Benson: I don’t know; I mean, I’ve been on that show for four years now, and I feel like people have just seen big, big challenge for me. me in a certain way for such a long time. And I really wanted to do a film where I was different from anything I’ve ever done. And I read Harmony’s script, and it was exactly what I wanted to do. And I liked how edgy it was; I liked how And also, once you get all that stuff, sometimes the biggest challenge was different it was. And I wanted a chance to work with Harmony, to work with James, and I wanted to do something not using everything, because you can’t, because you have enough money different. to throw pyro, and throw crazy music, and have the thing move, and do all this stuff. A lot of the answers, most of the time, the better answer was not to use everything that you could, and to restrain yourself for the sake of the storytelling. So you constantly had to remind yourself to focus on the story and not get carried away with all the other stuff you get access to. I think that was a constant battle and struggle that I had to go through.

Photo from spring-breakers-movie-trailer.blogspot.com For all complete interviews, log on to jcunews.com. 6 Arts & Life April11, 2013 www.jcunews.com The Carroll News ‘Spring Breakers’ makes a splash The Mary Ellen Riley Staff Reporter “spring fever” Where can you find four fresh-faced, college-aged girls trekking to Florida for playlist the ultimate spring break, and James Franco portrayed as a drug-dealing rapper? The newest hit flick, “Spring Breakers,” written “Here Comes the Sun” and directed by Harmony Korine, has all of this and more. Yes, more. The Beatles “Spring Breakers” sheds light on the real spring break, not the kind of break spent drinking tea with grandma or catching up on sleep, but rather the week that most “Beautiful Day” college students head down to the streets of Florida to let loose and have some fun. U2 What may seem like a movie featuring the ultimate spring break full of lazy days and wild nights sharply turns to a plot engulfed with danger and uncertainty as the spring breakers themselves get caught in the world “Spring” of crime and running from the law. Vivaldi Ashley Benson, Selena Gomez, Rachel Korine and Vanessa Hudgens star as Brit, Faith, Candy and Cotty who, respectively, portray your typical bikini-clad best friends under the influence of a rapping drug dealer “First Day of Spring” called Alien, played by James Franco, who bails them out of jail. Chris Brown The Carroll News sat down with director Harmony Korine and actor James Franco to get the inside look on how a movie like “Spring Breakers” is unlike anything seen before,” Korine said. I think everyone can “I Can See Clearly Now” identify with teenage debauchery, getting in trouble and meeting bad people.” Johnny Nash Korine focuses on the raw realities of spring break and puts careful consideration into all the details, from the location of the movie to the music played during certain scenes. James Franco, a long-time fan of Korine, weighed in on his enthusiasm for creative Pick-up Line plots that are creative and unexpected for films such as “Spring Breakers” compared to his inspiration for this particular film, “but of the he is also interested in popular culture, or a version of it, that is pushed to the extreme Week so that it becomes something both flashy and attractive, and at the same time distorted and very ugly,” said Franco. Do I know you? It is obvious that “Spring Breakers” is a collaboration of genius directing, stellar act- Because you look ing and a riveting plot line. This is one spring break you will never forget. a lot like my next boyfriend/girlfriend.

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Photos from fashionmagazine.com and movieline.com [email protected]. “Spring Breakers,” featuring a high-profile cast, came to theaters in March. Top-selling movies of the week From boxofficemojo.com

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9000 Babcock Boulevard Pittsburgh, PA 15237 8 Sports April 11, 2013 www.jcunews.com The Carroll News Mentz Minute JCU baseball dominates Wilmington in doubleheader Pair of games against Wilmington yields 5-3 comeback victory, 20-0 thrashing Zach Mentz to give themselves a narrow 3-2 Sports Editor lead heading into the seventh and Zach Mentz The John Carroll University final inning. Sports Editor baseball team put together an im- In the top of the seventh inning, Go back to your pressive weekend on the road, as Cifelli started the Blue Streaks’ rally roots, baseball they swept the host Wilmington with a lead-off walk. Sabatino was If you know me at all, you know Quakers in an Ohio Athletic Con- then able to reach base following a this: I’m obsessed with baseball. I ference doubleheader on Saturday, fielding error by Wilmington’s third started playing the game at the age April 6. The Blue Streaks used a basemen, giving JCU runners on of five, and now I coach my local late three-run rally to win the first first and second with no outs. Junior 18U team back in my hometown of game 5-3 before manhandling the Mitch Herringshaw, who currently Fairport, N.Y. To put it simply, my Quakers in game two by a final leads the team with a .438 batting entire life has been surrounded by score of 20-0. average, then ripped a single to the sport, and it is, in many ways, Coming into Saturday’s games load the bases for the Blue Streaks. my best friend. against Wilmington, the Blue and Following a pitching change by Few things in life are perfect, Gold had dropped two consecutive the Quakers, senior Aaron Miller Photos courtesy of JCU Sports Information and baseball might just be one of games to both Baldwin Wallace singled through the left side of the Junior Jimmy Spagna did work on both the mound and at the them. The game itself – the way it and Denison, losing 13-10 and 17- infield to score Cifelli from third and plate this past weekend as he helped lead the Blue Streaks to a is played, the way it is celebrated, 4, respectively. However, the Blue tie the game at three. weekend sweep over Wilmington. the way it is remembered – baseball Streaks transitioned back to their With the game tied at three and is perfect. However, the designated winning ways against the Quakers. no outs yet for JCU, senior Ryan respectively. offense as well. Senior Patrick hitter rule in Major League Baseball In game one of the doubleheader, Konsler lifted a sacrifice-fly to left Two runs in the second inning O’Brien tossed six innings while is anything but perfect. When it the Quakers jumped out to an early field that allowed Sabatino to score increased the Blue Streaks’ lead to allowing only five hits and striking comes to the DH in baseball, I’m 2-0 lead in the bottom of the third from third, giving the Blue Streaks 7-0 before they broke the flood gates out four. old school. There’s simply just no inning before JCU responded in the a 4-3 lead. Freshman Tyler Gentile wide open in the third inning. “It was crucial to take both need for the designated hitter. top of the fifth. An RBI double from eventually drew a bases-loaded A pair of two-run homers from [games] from Wilmington,” said Since 1973, Major League Base- freshman Rob Cifelli allowed for walk that allowed Herringshaw to both junior Jimmy Spagna and Spagna. “The bats finally came alive ball has used the oddly inconsistent sophomore Mark Huddle to score score, giving JCU a 5-3 lead going Konsler played key roles in a six-run like they were in Florida, and it was rule of allowing a designated hit- from second, cutting the deficit to into the bottom of the seventh. From third inning, where the Blue Streaks great to see. We needed to rebound ter in the American League and 2-1 for JCU. Immediately following there, freshman Zach Verner closed watched their lead balloon to 13-0 after our previous two losses, and I disallowing a DH in the National the RBI hit by Cifelli, sophomore out the game with three consecutive over Wilmington. From there, the felt that we responded quite well.” League. It’s almost likely playing Bobby Sabatino knocked in an RBI outs, sealing a 5-3 win for the Blue Blue and Gold were reluctant to With the win, the Blue Streaks two completely different versions of of his own with a single that allowed Streaks. take their foot off the gas, winning have now four of their last six and baseball. How are you going to al- senior Connor Marrero to score and Following the narrow victory in game two of the doubleheader by a sit at 15-8 overall. low for one team to use the lethal bat tie the game at two. game one, the Blue Streaks wasted whopping score of 20-0. “[These wins were] very im- of someone such as David Ortiz or After shutting down the Quakers no time in securing the lead early In game two alone, Konsler and portant. We knew we had to come Edgar Martinez but tell another team in the bottom half of the fifth, the in game two. Spagna went a combined 8-for-8 at out of there with two wins to stay that they must have their pitcher score remained tied at two heading A five-run first inning for the the plate while recording nine RBI’s near the top of the OAC standings, bat instead? That’s the definition of into the sixth inning. Blue Streaks was highlighted by a and scoring six runs themselves. especially with tough matchups this unfair and imbalanced. Wilmington was able to squeak double-steal by Huddle and Konsler, Sabatino and Miller each recorded week against Mount Union and Ot- The DH was only added to in- in a run in the bottom of the sixth who stole second and home plate, three hits a piece to help guide the terbein,” said Herringshaw. crease the amount of runs scored, which in turn increases home runs, ticket sales and revenue. By my definition, the DH is a “new-era” Softball sweeps Quakers thanks to prime pitching fixture to the sport centered around increasing ticket sales and popular- Home opener a success for the Blue and Gold; team tabs 2-0, 6-4 triumphs ity rather than staying true to base- Jake Hirschmann an easy 9-0 win in the first game. ball roots. The MLB wants “fringe” Staff Reporter Byrnes, named OAC Pitcher of the fans to stay interested, so they try to Expecting a disappointment? Week on Tuesday, tossed a four-hit boost the scoring as much as pos- The home opener doubleheader for shutout and Erica Chudioni hit a sible. Don’t believe me? Maybe you JCU’s softball team was anything bases-clearing triple to lead JCU to should wonder why the MLB turned but. On Saturday, April 6, John victory. The Raiders nabbed a 9-2 the other cheek during the steroid Carroll played its first game games triumph in 10 innings in the second era when Mark McGwire and Barry of 2013 at Bracken Field against the contest. Following Tuesday’s ac- Bonds were destroying home runs Wilmington Quakers. Behind some tion, JCU holds a 14-6 record, tied and looking like The Hulk. strong pitching and key timed hits, for the OAC lead with Mount Union The option of having a desig- the Blue Streaks were able to sweep and Mariettta at 6-2. nated hitter makes baseball almost the doubleheader, and at the same too easy for a manager. How so? time, send a message to the rest of Upcoming Softball Consider this example: Your pitcher the OAC that they are a force to be Schedule is throwing a shutout through seven reckoned with. Photos courtesy of Samuel Young April 11 vs. Case Western Re- innings. Your team has the bases Game one of the afternoon was Junior infielder Lia Locey led the JCU offense in the second serve University at 3:30 p.m. loaded with two outs and the game won due in large part to sophomore game of Saturday’s doubleheader, hitting 3-3 and scoring 5:30 p.m. tied at zero. Stepping to the plate is starting pitcher Rachel Byrnes. The two runs in the contest. April 13 your pitcher, not your DH. Here’s star sophomore pitched a complete base turned out to be the difference the two-game sweep, Byrnes said, @ Otterbein at 1 p.m.,3 where strategy is key: Do you use game two-hitter, along with 10 in such a tightly knit contest with “Wilmington was a very strong team p.m. a pinch hitter, thus removing your strikeouts, and had the Quakers the Blue Streaks, coming out on top both offensively and defensively. April 17 vs. Muskingum at 3 stud pitcher from the game, in at- looking like little leaguers nearly at a 2-0 final. Our hitters were able to string hits p.m., 5 p.m. tempt to claim the lead? Or do you the whole game. Game two was a bit more dra- together to get runs when we needed Stats, recaps and box scores leave your pitcher in to hit, hoping The two matic for the Blue Streaks, as the them. Since Wilmington is in our from each game can be found at he can reach base somehow? runs for the Quakers were able to put some conference, it was very impor- jcusports.com These are the decisions that Blue Streaks runs on the board this game and tant that we swept make baseball so tantalizing and came rather continued to fight back whenever them to maintain strategic. It’s my theory that until early, in the it seemed like the game was out good standing in the you fully understand all that goes first two in- of reach. OAC.” into the game, you can never fully nings, and The scoring for the Blue Streaks These two wins appreciate baseball. Major League were both was once again led by Becker, who continued the Blue Baseball shouldn’t be catering the scored by went 2-3 from the leadoff spot with Streaks’ run towards game to fringe fans who don’t know junior sec- two runs batted in as well as scoring an OAC title. what RISP stands for. Instead, Major ond base- the first run of the game. Two home Editor’s Note: League Baseball should be cater- man Sam runs for the Quakers, one by third The Blue and Gold ing to the die-hard fans that spend Becker. baseman Caitlin Schilling in the sec- traveled to Alliance, all winter staring out the window, Photo courtesy of JCU Sports Information Becker ond and another by Schilling in the Ohio on Tuesday Photos courtesy of Samuel Young waiting for baseball to return. JCU ace pitcher went hitless fifth, kept the game close; but in the afternoon to take Catcher Mackenzie Griffin continued her Follow @ZachMentz on Rachel Byrnes in the game, end, it was not enough, as JCU was on first-place Mount successful season on Saturday as she went Twitter or email him at prepares to hurl a but her abil- able to pull out the victory 6-4. Union. The Blue 2-3 with an RBI in the first game, and has a [email protected] pitch. ity to get on In regards to the importance of Streaks cruised to remarkable batting average of .582 this year. Sports 9 The Carroll News www.jcunews.com April 11, 2013 Men’s tennis easily snags first OAC New JCU football defensive coordinator victory against Wilmington Jerry Schuplinski hired by Patriots Joe Ginley the Blue Streaks heading into Saturday’s Joe Ginley told Blue Streak Nation (a web site covering Assistant Sports Editor match. So when the team was handed an easy Assistant Sports Editor JCU sports) in March. “Having the opportu- Photo courtesty of JCU Sports Information opponent in the form of the 1-4 Wilmington nity to work with a guy I have a lot of respect At long last, the JCU men’s tennis squad College Quakers, the Blue Streaks took full One never knows when opportunity will for, Tom Arth, and a lot of other guys on the achieved their first Ohio Athletic Conference advantage of the opportunity. come knocking. For Jerry Schuplinski, op- staff who I know, it’s been awesome,” he said. victory of the year on the road against Wilm- The Blue and Gold did particulary well in portunity showed up at his doorstep recently, “I think John Carroll is a really special place. ington. The Blue Streaks have been plagued singles play, as each of the team’s six com- in the form of a job offer from the New Eng- It always has been for me.” by bad luck and a grueling schedule this petitors defeated his opponent in straight sets. land Patriots. Schuplinski, who was serving But anytime the National Football League season. They Juniors Eric Grimaldi and Hunter Pellegrini as defensive coordinator under head football comes calling, it is hard to turn down the received an posted particularly impressive performances, coach Tom Arth at John Carroll, did not turn opportunity. Naturally, Schuplinski jumped opportunity as the two beat their adversaries 6-0, 6-0. down the chance, deciding to join the Patriots at his chance. Though Schuplinski’s late to relieve In doubles play, the Blue Streaks had just as an offensive quality control coach. departure shakes things up on the defensive as much success. Senior Ryan Mullaney and In early December, Arth was named the coaching staff, Arth was excited for his friend their frustra- Photo courtesty of JCU Sports Information tions on Sat- junior Sean Graham paired up to take down head football coach following the departure and colleague. “I am very happy for Jerry and urday. Josh Kincaid and Justin Arehart of Wilm- of Regis Scafe. Arth slowly assembled a col- his family. This is a once in a lifetime op- The Blue ington by a score of 8-3. Freshman Sawyer lection of football minds from both inside and portunity, and it couldn’t have happened to a and Gold Dina and junior Paul Olexa snatched an outside of the program. The man Arth chose better person,” Arth told The Carroll News. “I have faced 8-3 win over Quakers’ duo Connor LaVille to run his defense was Schuplinski, formerly am very proud of Jerry and all of our alumni tough foes and Cullen Corcoran. JCU’s Pelligrini and the special teams coordinator at Case Western who have built such an incredible legacy in such as Grimaldi combined in the final doubles match Reserve University. the NFL.” Emory & to defeat Wilmington’s Jesse Ingels and Ron Schuplinski, a JCU alum who graduated Schuplinski becomes the fourth JCU alum Henry Col- Sansome, 8-1. in 1999, served as a graduate assistant from to join the Patriots. Josh McDaniels, New lege, Oberlin With the win, the JCU men’s tennis team 2000-2001. Arth played quarterback for the England’s offensive coordinator, graduated in College and improved to 2-8 with a 1-3 conference record Blue Streaks from 1999-2002. Though Schu- 1999 with Schuplinski. Nick Caserio, director Ohio North- on the year. On deck for the Blue Streaks is plinski’s responsibilities were running backs of player personnel, also graduated with the Photos courtesy of JCU Sports Information ern, which a contest with Mount Union on Wednesday, and special teams, the two still developed a two. Frank Ross, assistant scout, graduated Paul Olexa captured wins in resulted in a April 10, and Otterbein on Saturday, April 13. close relationship. from JCU in 2010. singles and doubles play on 1-8 overall For stats, recaps and box scores from these In fact, Arth’s presence was a significant Arth said he has not set a timetable for an- Saturday. record for matches, check out jcusports.com. factor in Schuplinski’s return to JCU, as he nouncing a new defensive coordinator. Track and field teams impress at Homon Invitational as tune-up Men’s Track and Field improve on every throw to get to the top ” Women’s Track and Field The Blue and Gold also fared well in the Gabriella Kreuz Sophomore Rocky Mitolo also put together 1,500-meter run, as sophomore Bridget Hanna Staff Reporter a strong performance, placing third in the dis- Zach Mentz took second place and junior Taylor Whisler The men’s track and field team is show- cus with a throw of 40.67 meters and fourth in Sports Editor took third, finishing with respective times of ered with talented runners and jumpers who the shot put with a toss of 4.07 meters. After finishing in fifth place among five 5:00.89 and 5:03.47. often bask in the most glory due to their high Senior Mike Minjock won the long jump teams at the OAC Gold Meet on March 30, Freshman Madeline Sweeney took third scoring. But this weekend at Mount Union’s title by clearing 6.96 meters, while freshman the Blue Streaks needed to use this past week- place in the high jump event (1.48 meters), John Homon Invitational meet, it was the Jack Kelly finished fourth in the triple jump end’s John Homon Invitational as a tune-up while freshman Hannah Suttles (4.72 meters) throwers who came out and put on the show. (12.72 meters). for the upcoming All-Ohio Championships. and Karissa Manko (4.52 meters) finished Although the meet was unscored, many ath- In the hurdles, sophomore Nick Williams Fortunately for the Blue Streaks, they were third and fourth, respectively, in the long letes participated to reach personal bests and finished in second with a time of 15.77 sec- able to find success at the unscored Homon In- jump event. seize another opportunity to compete amongst onds in the 110-meter event while sophomore vitational, which was hosted by the University In the 4x100-meter relay events, the quar- OAC competition. Hayes Chrispin finished fourth (59.67). John of Mount Union, on Saturday, April 6. tet of Jenkins, Suttles, sophomore Megan Senior thrower Anthony Chizmadia took Carroll had a pair of relays finish runner-up Junior Nicki Bohrer started the day off Martinko and junior Shanelle Mosley fin- full advantage, winning the discus with a toss as well. The 4x100-meter quartet ofWil- strong for the Blue Streaks, as she placed sec- ished second with a collective time of 52.02 of 41.93 meters. The senior also finished sec- liams, Minjock, Kelly and sophomore Nick ond (2:20.49), while sophomore Haley Turner seconds. On the flip side, in the 4x400-meter ond in the shot put, throwing 14.82 meters. D’Amico ran a blazing 43.33. In the 4x400 placed fourth (2:24.34) in the 800-meter dash. relays, the foursome of Bohrer, Martinko, “This weekend was a test for myself. It was meters, it was Dan Loya, Anthony Colbert, Freshman Emily Jenkins placed fourth in the Turner and senior Maureen Creighton also a day to focus on improving on every throw,” D’Amico and Mike Hydzik who finished 100-meter dash, with a time of 13.58 seconds placed second, crossing the line with a finish said Chizmadia. “Going into OACs, I need to second in 3:24.83. to pick up points in short distances for JCU. time of 4:11.59. Streaks of the Week

Baseball Baseball Softball Track & Field Track & Field

Jimmy Spagna Ryan Konsler Rachel Byrnes Anthony Chizmadia Nicki Bohrer junior senior sophomore junior junior Spagna played a key role The veteran outfielder pow- The JCU pitcher was bril- Throwers often go unno- Bohrer put together a strong for JCU in Saturday’s double- ered the Blue Streaks offense liant against Wilmington in a ticed, but Chizmadia was an weekend, as she finished in header with the Quakers. The in a 20-0 win over Wilmington home doubleheader on Satur- exception on Saturday at the second in the 800-meter dash junior tossed four innings in on Saturday. Konsler went 4-4 day. She threw a two-hit shut- unscored John Homan Invi- with a finish time of 2:20.49 the first game, allowing only in the second contest on Satur- out in the first game, leading tational. The junior won the while also helping the Blue one earned run on five hits. day, hitting 4-4 with a double, the Blue Streaks to a 2-0 win. discus (41.92 meters) and Streaks finish in second in the He hit 4-4 in the second game, homer, two runs scored and Byrnes also won game two, claimed a runner-up finish in 4 x 400-meter relay events, fin- knocking in four runs. five runs batted in. increasing her record to 9-1. the shot put (14.82). ishing with a time of 4:11.59. 10 World News April 11, 2013 www.jcunews.com The Carroll News Around the World 4 3 1 2

1 North Korea steps up missile defense plans

Katelyn DeBaun making it unlikely that it will ever reach Assistant World News Editor Hawaii, let alone the U.S. mainland. How- ever, Guam, a U.S. territory that is about Tension has been rising around the world 2,000 miles from North Korea, is in danger, due to increasing threats made by the North as Kim has previously threatened to send Korean government after its decision to missiles to U.S. military bases there. In move a medium-range missile to its east response, the U.S. government sent land- coast. Although the country’s military forces based missile defense system. While many have given no indication of preparing for a strategic experts believe that there is no conflict, the United States and South Korea feasible way for the North to strike Guam, are preparing for any likelihood that an at- newly appointed U.S. Defense Secretary tack might occur. Chuck Hagel remarked, “It only takes being Following North Korea’s choice to ter- wrong once, and I don’t want to be the sec- minate a military hotline with South Korea retary of defense who was wrong once.” several weeks ago, U.S. President Barack While the Musudan cannot reach the Obama sent the South Korean government U.S. mainland, North Korea reported in nuclear bombers. Furthermore, when the March that it was fully prepared to fire North declared war on the South recently, rockets at various American targets. In re- AP A recently released photo of North Korean leader Kim Jong Un from March 31. the U.S. sent stealth fighter jets as a sign of sponse, the military is planning to deploy After weeks of war-like rhetoric, Kim declared building nuclear weapons. He has military strength and unity to North Korea more ground-based missile interceptors since stepped up threats of launching nuclear weapons. and its newly-appointed leader, Kim Jong on the West Coast in addition to the ones Un. already in place. those on the South’s Yeongpyeong Island government remains on high alert, awaiting Despite Kim’s actions, several experts Both Korea’s have technically been at remain in constant terror after North Korea’s any word of attack on the country. believe that a nuclear attack on any country war with each other for several decades brutal attack on the island in 2010. The threat of nuclear weapons being used is improbable. Stephan Haggard, a profes- since their 1950’s conflict ended with only Even Fidel Castro, a longtime ally to by the North Koreans has been prevalent for sor of Korean Studies at the University of a truce. But in March of this year, North North Korea, has asked their government much of the last decade. That being said, California of San Diego, told CBS News that Korea invalidated it. North Korea’s military, to stop their promises of violence, warning unlike Iran, whose nuclear program has also many of the threats in this case are “rhetori- which is twice as large as that of South Ko- that could provoke a large-scale nuclear war, been under watch, North Korea has caused cal,” as Kim tries to prove himself a worthy rea, make Kim’s terrorizations strongly felt which would alienate North Korea from the less concern. leader to his country. throughout the country. While many people vast majority of the world. Information from CBS News, ABC News The missile, called the Musudan, can in the main peninsula of South Korea are While many experts are not taking Kim and The New York Times was used in this travel distances of nearly 1,800 miles, used to the North’s seemingly empty threats, Jong Un’s threats seriously, the United States article.

2 US diplomat killed in Afghanistan

The Associated Press working directly with Afghan residents, that their daughter joined the foreign ser- them knowledge.” those who knew her said Sunday. vice straight out of college. But she had Tom and Mary Beth Smedinghoff said Anne Smedinghoff, a 25-year-old for- shown an early interest in foreign affairs that their daughter died doing what she A young U.S. diplomat killed in an eign service officer, died Saturday when and was one of the key organizers of the loved. attack in southern Afghanistan was an the group she was traveling with was university’s annual Foreign Affairs Sym- “Working as a public diplomacy of- up-and-coming public servant who loved struck by an explosion in southern Zabul posium in 2008, a weeks-long event that ficer, she particularly enjoyed the oppor- province. They were en route to donate brings high-profile speakers to campus. tunity to work directly with the Afghan textbooks to students. “She was an exceptional woman,” people and was always looking for op- The Chicago-area woman is the first said Hopkins, who kept in touch with portunities to reach out and help to make American diplomat to die on the job since Smedinghoff over the years. “Capable, a difference in the lives of those living last year’s attack on the U.S. diplomatic gracious, and she would just rise up to in a country ravaged by war,” they said installation in Benghazi, Libya. the top.” in the statement. Those who knew Smedinghoff de- Secretary of State John Kerry said Smedinghoff previously served in scribed her as a positive, hard-working Sunday at a news conference in Turkey Venezuela, according to the Associated and dependable young woman. that Smedinghoff was “vivacious, smart” Press. While a student at Johns Hopkins Uni- and “capable.” Smedinghoff had assisted There have been other statements.

AP versity in Baltimore, she worked part time Kerry during a visit to Afghanistan two Friends also praised her for her charity This undated photo shows Anne for Sam Hopkins, an attorney near campus. weeks ago. work. Smedinghoff participated in a 2009 Smedinghoff, 25. Smedinghoff was He described her as ambitious, “but in a Kerry also described Smedinghoff as cross-country bike ride for The 4K for killed Saturday, April 6, 2013 in southern wonderfully quiet, modest way.” “a selfless, idealistic woman who woke Cancer — part of the Ulman Cancer Fund Afghanistan, the first American Smedinghoff’s parents said in an up yesterday morning and set out to bring for Young Adults — according to Hopkins diplomat to die since September. emailed statement to The Washington Post textbooks to school children, to bring and the group’s website. World News 11 The Carroll News www.jcunews.com April 11, 2013 Firing Lane 3 Kansas votes for stricter abortion laws

The Associated Press patients seeking abortions. But Kansas lawmakers aren’t trying to The measure’s language that life begins “at change the state constitution, and the measure Kansas legislators gave final passage to a fertilization” had some abortion-rights supporters notes that any rights suggested by the language sweeping anti-abortion measure Friday night, worrying that it could be used to legally harass are limited by decisions of the U.S. Supreme sending Gov. Sam Brownback a bill that declares providers. Abortion opponents call it a statement Court. It declared in its historic Roe V. Wade life begins “at fertilization” while blocking tax of principle and not an outright ban on terminat- decision in 1973 that women have a right to Sam Lane breaks for abortion providers and banning abor- ing pregnancies. obtain abortions in some circumstances, and has World News Editor tions performed solely because of the baby’s “The human is a magnificent piece of work upheld that decision while allowing increasing sex. at all stages of development, wondrous in every restrictions by states. A time to The House voted 90-30 for a compromise regard, from the microscopic until full develop- Sen. David Haley, a Kansas Democrat who version of the bill reconciling differences be- ment,” said Sen. Steve Fitzgerald, a Leavenworth opposed the bill, zeroed in on the statement, remember tween the two chambers, only hours after the Republican who supported the bill. saying that supporters of the bill were pursuing a Senate approved it, 28-10. The Republican Abortion opponents argue the full measure “Taliban-esque” course of letting religious views In light of all the recent news stories and governor is a strong opponent of abortion, and lessens the state’s entanglement with terminating dictate policy limiting women’s ability to make headlines that have been shown, I must say supporters of the measure expect him to sign it pregnancies, but abortion-rights advocates say it decisions about health care and whether they’ll that I never thought this kind of event would into law so that the new restrictions take effect threatens access to abortion services. have children. happen. Not after all of my political science July 1. The declaration that life begins at fertilization This year’s legislation is less restrictive than classes that told me that conflict between the In addition to the bans on tax breaks and sex- is embodied in “personhood” measures in other a new North Dakota law that bans abortions as United States government and other foreign selection abortions, the bill prohibits abortion states. Such measures are aimed at revising their early as the sixth week of pregnancy and a new governments were essentially over. But then providers from being involved in public school constitutions to ban all abortions, and none have Arkansas law prohibiting most abortions after again, the present has proven otherwise. sex education classes and spells out in more been enacted, though North Dakota voters will the 12th week. But many abortion opponents If you have not figured out yet what I am detail what information doctors must provide to have one on the ballot in 2014. still see it as a significant step. referring to, it is the nuclear threat coming from Kim Jong Un and North Korea. This is something definitely worth noting, because there is no telling when we may see some- 4 thing like this again. Now understand that I Margaret Thatcher: 1925-2013 am not necessarily trying to glorify events such as this, because they are worthy of cause ment. Another thing she shared with the American The Associated Press for concern, especially if innocent soldiers president: a tendency to reduce problems to their and civilians are involved. But at the same Love her or loathe her, one thing’s beyond basics, choose a path and follow it to the end, no time, history has convinced me that we have dispute: Margaret Thatcher transformed Britain. matter what the opposition. had far greater crises that have ended well, so The Iron Lady, who ruled for 11 remarkable She formed a deep attachment to the man she I would not recommend dropping under your years, imposed her will on a fractious, rundown called “Ronnie” — some spoke of it as a schoolgirl desks quite yet. I am only trying to point out nation — breaking the unions, triumphing in a far- crush. Still, she would not back down when she dis- what is happening. off war and selling off state industries at a record agreed with him on important matters, even though So yes, it seems that this is just another pace. She left behind a leaner government and more the United States was the richer and vastly stronger day in the world of threats aimed at the prosperous nation by the time a political mutiny partner in the so-called “special relationship.” United States and its allies. Not quite. As I ousted her from No. 10 Downing Street. Margaret Hilda Roberts was born on Oct. 13, mentioned earlier, this is a conflict between Thatcher’s spokesman, Tim Bell, said the 1925. She learned the values of thrift, discipline and two governments. Lately, most of the en- former prime minister died from a stroke Monday industry as the dutiful daughter of Alfred Roberts, a emies the U.S. has dealt with are terrorist morning at the Ritz hotel in London. grocer and Methodist lay preacher who eventually organizations. That is not very good on any As flags were flown at half-staff at Buckingham became the mayor of Grantham, a modest-sized level. These are often groups from humble Palace, Parliament and Downing Street for the town in Lincolnshire, 180 kilometers (110 miles) AP backgrounds who are able to gain members 87-year-old, praise for Thatcher and her leadership north of London. British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher by pointing to American actions that led them poured in from around the world. Thatcher said she learned much about the world meets with U.S. President Ronald to such a cause. They also blend in much President Barack Obama said many Americans simply by studying her father’s business. She grew Reagan, in 1985. Thatcher, Britain’s only easier with the civilian population. “will never forget her standing shoulder to shoulder up in the family’s apartment just above the shop. female prime minister, died Monday, North Korea’s Kim Jong Un has none of with President (Ronald) Reagan, reminding the Educated at Oxford, Thatcher began her political April 8, at the age of 87. those factors going for him. Here is a leader world that we are not simply carried along by the career in her mid-20s with an unsuccessful 1950 of a state whose government brutally sup- currents of history. We can shape them with moral campaign for a parliamentary seat in the Labour attempt by the Irish Republican Army that nearly presses its people. They censor and punish conviction, unyielding courage and iron will.” Party stronghold of Dartford. She earned nationwide succeeded. The IRA detonated a bomb in her hotel them when they step out of line. Then they Queen Elizabeth II authorized a ceremonial publicity as the youngest female candidate in the in Brighton during a party conference, killing and threaten their neighbor without being pro- funeral — a step short of a state funeral — to be country, despite her loss at the polls. injuring senior government figures, but leaving the voked. Good luck on obtaining sympathy held for Thatcher at St. Paul’s Cathedral in London She was defeated again the next year, but on the prime minister and her husband unharmed. and support! next week with military honors. campaign trail she met Denis Thatcher, a success- Thatcher won a third term in another landslide Now I must apologize if it sounds like I Prime Minister David Cameron cut short a trip ful businessman whom she married in 1951. Their in 1987, but may have become overconfident. am treating this lightly, but there are other to Madrid and Paris to return to Britain following twins, Mark and Carol, were born two years later. She trampled over cautionary advice from her reasons that this situation is fascinating as news of Thatcher’s death, and said Parliament Margaret Thatcher first won election to Par- own ministers in 1989 and 1990 by imposing a well as entertaining. First of all, it’s nice to would be recalled from recess on Wednesday so liament in 1959, representing Finchley in north hugely controversial “community charge” tax that see a change in media coverage. Of course I lawmakers could pay tribute. London. She climbed the Conservative Party ladder was quickly dubbed a “poll tax” by opponents. It would prefer that we had no enemies to cover, “Let us not kid ourselves. She was a very quickly, joining the Cabinet as education secretary was designed to move Britain away from a property but since that is not the case, why not switch divisive figure,” said Bernard Ingham, Thatcher’s in 1970. tax and instead imposed a flat rate tax on every adult it up? I am tired of the Middle East! press secretary for her entire term. “She was a real As prime minister, she sold off one state industry except for retirees and people who were registered The terrain makes it far more different toughie. She was a patriot with a great love for after another: British Telecom, British Gas, Rolls- unemployed. to fight our enemies. North Korea, being a this country, and she raised the standing of Britain Royce, British Airways, British Coal, British Steel, That decision may have been a sign that hubris peninsula, makes it so much easier. Not to abroad.” the water companies and the electricity distribution was undermining Thatcher’s political acumen. mention if we did go to war, we would be Thatcher was the first — and still only — fe- system among them. She was proud of her govern- Tens of thousands of protesters took to the streets fighting identifiable soldiers. male prime minister in Britain’s history. But she ment’s role in privatizing some public housing, in London and other cities, leading to some of Kim Jong Un himself makes the conflict often found feminists tiresome. turning tenants into homeowners. the worst riots in the British capital in more than what it is. A spoiled, silver-spoon-fed (pun- A grocer’s daughter, she rose to the top of She ruffled feathers simply by being herself. a century. intended), chubby dictator. Britain’s snobbish hierarchy the hard way, and She had faith — sometimes blind faith — in the Eight months after the riots, Thatcher was gone, Finally, the best things to get out of some- envisioned a classless society that rewarded hard clarity of her vision and little use for those of a more struggling to hold back tears as she left Downing thing like this is all the comedic observations. work and determination. cautious mien. Street after being ousted by her own party. Whether it is Jon Stewart having a field day She was a trailblazer who at first believed Success in the Falklands War set the stage for It was a bitter end for Thatcher’s active political with mocking North Korea being completely trailblazing impossible: Thatcher told the Liverpool a pivotal fight with the National Union of Miners, career — her family said she felt a keen sense of out of date with the rest of the world, Satur- Daily Post in 1974 that she did not think a woman which began a 51-week strike in March 1984 to betrayal even years later. day Night Live, or the many memes you can would serve as party leader or prime minister dur- oppose the government’s plans to close a number She suffered from dementia in her final years, find on Google, it’s all hilarious! Just think, ing her lifetime. of mines. and her public appearances became increasingly if only they had that kind of technology or Like her close friend and political ally Ronald The miners battled police on picket lines but rare. British media reported that Thatcher had been Stewart’s mentality during the Cuban Missile Reagan, Thatcher seemed motivated by an unshak- couldn’t beat Thatcher, and returned to work without staying at the Ritz because her Belgravia home did Crisis, it would have been over in six-and-a- able belief that free markets would build a better gaining any concessions. not have an elevator and she was having difficulty half days instead of 13. Well maybe not, but country than reliance on a strong, central govern- She survived an audacious 1984 assassination getting around. we are not dealing with anything like we did Do you believe Pope Francis will be half a century ago. able to change the Church? So in the meantime, just kick back and Yes No enjoy this political melodrama reflecting the jcunews.com Poll Maybe 20th century before it draws to a close.

60 percent, 27 percent, 13 percent, Contact Sam Lane at 9 Votes 4 Votes 2 Votes [email protected] 12 Business & Finance April 11, 2013 www.jcunews.com The Carroll News Alcoa, Inc. boasts strong earnings report Federal Reserve Patrick Burns put, Kleinfeld Staff Reporter said that “Alcoa stress tests is less and less First quarter earnings season is beginning to about digging roll around for many companies. Alcoa, Inc., a stuff out of the world-leading aluminum maker, is sitting pretty earth and melt- aid recovery with a 59 percent rise in net profit. In numerical ing it.” Anthony Ahlegian terms, it rose to $149 million/13 cents per share In addition Asst. Business & Finance Editor from $94 million/9 cents per share the quarter to shifting its before. This impressive increase could be at- specialties, The Federal Reserve Bank of Atlanta tributed to two factors: aluminum pricing and Alcoa is clos- held a financial markets conference this special items. ing expensive past Monday night, where Federal Reserve Aluminum prices were low as a result of smelters, nego- Chairman Ben Bernanke shed light on the excess supply in the market. As a result, many tiating power results of annual stress tests performed on aluminum producers throttled back their produc- supply con- major U.S. banks. Bernanke stated in a tion, and the supply levels fell back, which rose tracts and up- speech that the U.S. economy is “signifi- prices. Although companies such as Alcoa can be grading tech- cantly stronger” than it was in 2009 when at risk for pricing of this commodity, this quarter nology. These the Federal Reserve launched the first round demonstrated one of the instances where it could strategies result of stress tests, according to The Wall Street be beneficial. in a much more Photo from usatoday.com Alcoa, Inc. is a world-leading aluminum maker. Journal. The WSJ also reported that Ber- These pricing effects contributed to approxi- profitable posi- nanke commented that economic conditions mately 15 percent of the increase in profit. There tion for Alcoa. be interpreted as very good news for a wide array are “clearly still far from where we would were many one-time events in this quarter that Alcoa’s vital signs for the remaining months of users of aluminum. like them to be.” drove the vast majority of the increase in profit. of the year look promising. Aluminum demand is Alcoa serves producers of airplanes, cars, Months after a financial crisis struck These included a tax benefit, positive changes in expected to rise by seven percent this year, driven trucks, beverage cans and consumer electronics, in 2009, the Federal Reserve launched the the value of energy contracts and recovering of largely by growth in China and the expansion of all who rely heavily on aluminum. If sales are first round of stress tests on the major U.S. an insurance claim from a fire. the U.S. economy. increasing for Alcoa, it could be inferred that banks in order to convince investors that the Klaus Kleinfeld, Alcoa’s chief executive Alcoa’s CFO, William Oplinger, argued that these firms are also selling more of their product, largest banks could survive another down- officer, was incredibly pleased with the results despite this expected surge in demand, growth or at least increasing production of inventory. turn. These tests served as a way to provide and believes that there will be more good things will also leave the supply of aluminum “essential- Therefore, it could be possible that there will be investors with credible information about to come. Kleinfeld believes that this earnings ly balanced.” In additon to aluminum, Oplinger promising financial results from other industries prospective losses at banks. Bernanke has report reflects “a different Alcoa,” with alumi- perceives that demand from aerospace and auto who rely heavily on Alcoa’s product. stated that in the ensuing years, the Federal num pricing gradually becoming “less and less industries will continue to be strong. So far, Alcoa is having a fabulous start to their Reserve has worked to improve the stress of a risk.” Alcoa is not a company that many people are fiscal year. If Kleinfeld and Opplinger’s outlooks tests so they could “serve as a resource for To hedge potential side effects from aluminum well aware of as a result of its products being so on their company’s future hold true, great things banking regulators to monitor and detect price drops, Alcoa is beginning to focus moreso close to the beginning of the supply chain. Yet, can be expected out of the coming quarters. threats to the financial system,” according on later stage products, such as automotive design as a combination of their position and being one Information from The Wall Street Journal was to cbsnews.com. and parts for aerospace applications. Simply of the first companies to report earnings, it could used in this report. These stress tests are annual and have become a cornerstone of the revamped bank-supervisory process, according to The WSJ. In the tests, the Federal Reserve sub- Consumers still choose in-store shopping over online jects banks’ loan and security portfolios to various hypothetical economic conditions. Elizabeth Blackley Furthermore, the biggest banks must outline The Carroll News dividend and repurchase plans with the cen- tral bank. The results of the tests are used to Coming soon to Beachwood Place is a determine whether the banks can repurchase store many are surprised to see coming. shares or increase dividends. On Saturday, April 13, Microsoft will Bernanke said in his speech Monday night be opening its doors to customers in the that The Federal Reserve’s annual stress test Cleveland area. Upgrading from their process has “helped make the U.S. banking current kiosk for customers to ask ques- system stronger and more resilient than be- tions about their products, Microsoft fore the 2008 financial crisis,” reported The will become a full brick and mortar store WSJ. This is inferred from how the stress starting this weekend. Why the sudden tests have held banks to a higher standard, change for Microsoft, who is known for and stronger banks have then contributed to being a primarily online company? economic recovery and expansion by provid- More and more, online stores are ing credit to households and businesses. starting to create “brick and mortar” Recent evidence from the stress tests stores, with dreams of increasing profits. shows that the tests have lived up to their This is the opposite of what many busi- purpose. Stress test results released last ness analysts assumed would happen due month demonstrated that banks have gained to the increased technological abilities more high-quality capital to serve as cushion of the Internet and smartphones. against losses. This is shown in two statistics. Photo from blogs.technet.com Companies like Microsoft, which A new Microsoft store will open in Beachwood Place on April 13. The WSJ states that since 2009, the aggre- was only an online retailer at one point, buying in person—whether it’s checking customers to shop. gate Tier 1 common-equity ratio of major are now joining the “brick and mortar” the fit of a pair of pants or judging an However, allowing customers to U.S. banks, which measures high-quality world. They are doing this by showroom- item’s quality—so naturally, e-tailers are view a product in person comes with capital as a share of risk-weighted assets, has ing, which means allowing customers to deciding to set up physical stores.” increased expenses. Maintaining a retail doubled from 5.6 percent to 11.3 percent. visit physical stores only to have them It’s not just technology and computer location involves high fixed and variable This increase represents a gain of nearly buy the product online at a later time. stores that are opening locations around costs, like paying a mortgage, employee $400 billion in high-quality capital in the Sucharita Mulpuru, an analyst at the country; clothing and beauty product wages, inventory costs and electricity, to banking system. Furthermore, all but one Forrester Research, said, “The single ‘e-tailers’ are also starting to show up. name a few. They also tend to carry less of the 18 major U.S. banks tested had test biggest reason people don’t buy online Retailers such as Etsy, Bonobos and inventory compared to what the com- results that showed they were better pre- is that they want to touch and feel mer- Birchbox are now allowing customers pany offers online in order to cut down pared to withstand a severe U.S. recession chandise. A store helps to resolve that to see and test their products at physical on expenses. Marketing and advertising and an upheaval of the financial markets, issue, at least for the people who live locations around the country. these new brick and mortar stores have according to cbsnews.com. The exception near that store.” Consumers want to Bonobos CEO Andy Dunn stated, “In not been easy, either. was Ally Financial, who fared the worst on try out large ticket purchases, such as 2007, we started the company, and we Changing a consumer’s image of a the stress test. computers, to make sure they are quality said the whole world is going online brand only sold online to a physical loca- The Federal Reserve will continue to push products that are easy to use. only. All we’re going to do is be online. tion has proven to be these companies’ banks to strengthen their independent risk- IBM, a global retailer, found eight But what we’ve learned recently is that biggest challenge. Microsoft has made a management practices and capital plans, as out of 10 shoppers made their purchase the offline experience of touching and smooth transition from e-tailer to brick the U.S. economy recovers and the banking in-store, versus buying online. This only feeling clothes isn’t going away. People and mortar store by testing out how industry grows healthier. Bernanke stated highlights the amount of consumers who still want to try stuff on, and so for a kiosks in malls were received by cus- that banks still have to make more progress like to physically see products in person brand like ours, that’s built on fit, we tomers. Business analysts may say the on “ensuring they have adequate liquidity” instead of only online. want to provide that.” Internet is the only way consumers will and “not relying on short-term funding.” The vice president of International Dunn has changed Bonobos’ busi- shop in the future; but for the time being, Both of these situations proved to be prob- Business Machines said, “If there’s one ness model to reflect their change from consumers are proving them wrong. lems during the 2008 financial crisis. thing showrooming teaches us, it’s that being an online retailer to providing Information from CNBC News was Information from The Wall Street Journal consumers still want to see what they are both online and physical locations for used in this report. and CBS News was used in this report. Register at go.jcu.edu/summer NEW HOURS Thursday, Friday, Saturday Open until 11 P.M.

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HANEUOD ______Graphics from www.jcu.edu and www.glassgiant.com You just passed that PL 101 exam, but can you handle the Diversions Mind Game Challenge?! B Counting B O W TO RN THOUGHT an NEfriendED W U Editorial 17 The Carroll News www.jcunews.com April 11, 2013 Editorial @JCUpositivity With the increase in popularity of the social media site Twitter over the past few years, anonymous parody accounts have been created. Recently, accounts with the parody theme of John Carroll have begun to pop up. These accounts have various themes ranging from anony- mous campus crushes, compliments or hook-up sightings. While many of these accounts are entertaining, some of them

have a very damaging potential.

The creativity behind parody accounts is encouraged. More light-hearted entertainment or confidence-boosting encourage- ment is needed. However, students must seriously consider the effect their posts will have on other students, as well as

the overall tone of their accounts. Students who have created

outwardly negative accounts should take immediate action to either change the tone or delete the account. Twitter accounts like “JCUpassouts,” “JCU Makeout” and the deleted “JCU Hot or Not” comment on personal situa- “ tions and have the potential to damage a person’s reputation. Tweets on these subjects can damage a person’s self esteem by evaluating them superficially. When pictures are posted with- out a person’s permission, the situation becomes increasingly complicated and violates a person’s privacy. Though students John Carroll

should be cautious and aware of what they do in public, hav- Cartoon by Nicholas Sciarappa ing these accounts can exacerbate a person’s mistakes. Such accounts can only have negative consequences. Many of the parody accounts are light hearted and entertain- NOTABLE QUOTABLE ing. “JCU Compliments” and “JCU Advice” are encouraging to students, which is very positive and necessary. Other accounts like “JCU Crushes” and “JCU Probz” receive mixed reviews but the content of these accounts is harmless. These simply “Being powerful is like being a lady. If you serve as entertainment, and their creativity is commendable. have to tell people you are, you aren’t.” Editorial Plain Dealing with the problem — Margaret Thatcher, Great Britain’s first Starting this summer, Advance Publications, the com- female prime minister; she died on Monday at the age of 87 pany that owns The Plain Dealer, will be laying off a large number of employees as well as reducing the number of home delivery days from seven to three. “ Instead of reducing the number of home delivery days, The Plain Dealer should instead cut back on the number of papers sold in news stands. This allows for the continued HIT & miss convenience of home delivery to subscribers, who are more Hit: 70 degree weather all week miss: The Iron Lady, Margaret likely to read the paper on a daily basis, yet also allows Thatcher died at 87 Hit/miss: Jimmy Fallon is officially taking for enough cuts. over for Jay Leno on “The Tonight Show” starting next spring The Plain Dealer will also be partnering with a new miss: company, The Northeast Ohio Media Group, which will An ex-waitress is suing Hooters for making her wear a be responsible for revitalizing the digital media aspects wig after receiving brain surgery, which prevented her scars of the company. This will be a positive addition, because from healing Hit: Animal Planet’s show “River Monsters” takes devoting more attention to the newest medium of news on the Loch Ness Monster miss: A 4-year-old boy accidentally will strengthen an already strong newspaper. shot and killed his 6-year-old playmate in New Jersey Hit/miss: These changes are a result of recent concerns about so- The Scripps National Spelling Bee is adding multiple-choice ciety’s transition from print to electronic media. Company vocabulary tests to the annual competition miss: A court rul- executives feel that updating the Cleveland.com website as ing made emergency contraceptives available to all, including well as offering a free, enhanced e-edition of the newspaper miss: online will better meet the needs of its subscribers. minors Nickelback Hit: A 93-year-old man celebrated his The employee cuts and delivery changes have sparked birthday by cycling 100 miles miss: 14 people were injured in a some backlash from Plain Dealer subscribers. These cuts stabbing at Lone Star College in Texas are indeed unfortunate, yet necessary in times of financial difficulty. Furthermore, the company should be commend- Email your hits & misses to [email protected] ed for addressing the recent shift to electronic media and working to accommodate the interests of its subscribers.

Editor in Chief Campus Editors World News Editors Cartoonist DAN COONEY Ryllie Danylko Sam Lane Nicholas Sciarappa The Carroll News [email protected] Spencer German Katelyn DeBaun Jackie Mitchell Business & Copy Editors SERVING JCU SINCE 1925 Managing Editor Abigail Rings Finance Editor Allison Gall Brian Bayer To contact The Carroll News: The Carroll News is published Andrew Martin Alyssa Giannirakis weekly by the students of John Arts & Life Editors John Carroll University Carroll University. Anthony Ahlegian Katii Sheffield 1 John Carroll Boulevard The opinions expressed in editorials Adviser Editorial Adviser Alexandra Higl University Heights, OH 44118 and cartoons are those of The Robert T. Noll Richard Hendrickson, Ph. D Mitch Quataert Sports Editors Newsroom: 216.397.1711 Carroll News editorial staff and not Zach Mentz Delivery Advertising: 216.397.4398 necessarily those of the University’s Editorial & Op/Ed Editors Lexi McNichol administration, faculty or students. Joe Ginley Fax: 216.397.1729 Business Manager Photographer Grace Kaucic Matt Riley email: [email protected] Signed material and comics are solely the view of the author. Gloria Suma Zak Zippert Nick Wojtasik Diversions Editor Brian Bayer 18 Op/Ed April 11, 2013 www.jcunews.com The Carroll News OURVIEW What I’ve gained Cooney Meets World: and where I’ll go If I were leans, La. As many of us here know, immer- better than I could have imagined. sion trips are an opportunity to go to various Then , a week ago today, I was headed Millor Orator locations, both domestic and international, down route 80 through Pennsylvania to that was through mentoring, teaching to do service for a community with which New York City with my beautiful girlfriend. kids about civics, delivering food or Spencer German simply by being there for someone Campus Editor we aren’t completely familiar. This year I Although my home resides in New York co-led the trip and with an amazing group of State, I had never actually had the chance who just needed a person to talk to. I love traveling. If I could get paid to travel students; we participated in manual labor all to make it to the Big Apple. However, I Their goal was to enrich the lives they anywhere and everywhere, I would sign on week, building and cleaning up houses from couldn’t pass up the chance to see my fa- Dan Cooney touched – to brighten someone’s day the dotted line right now. damage done by hurricanes in the area. Not vorite baseball team, the Boston Red Sox, Editor in Chief by giving them something (food or a That being said my senior year has pro- only did this trip provide me quality time with playing the New York Yankees in the biggest friend) they didn’t have before. Today, in some ways, marks the Others took to the court, field, pool, vided me with quite the series of trips that were some of JCU’s best students and faculty, but it rivalry in all of sports live at Yankee Stadium. end of an era. not only fun but furthered my connection to also allowed me to dedicate myself even more Although Brittany ended the day with brag- track or diamond. They built camara- With this new edition of The derie with their teammates through John Carroll and the handful of qualities it has to the importance of service in our world to- ging rights for her Yankees winning, it was (award-winning) Carroll News, you further strengthened in me. Those character- day and learn about a culture I knew very little still an amazing experience that I wouldn’t tough practices or time spent together hold in your hands the last installment on the bus before a game. They spent istics are knowledge, service, friendship and about. Service has always been an important trade for anything. This was an instant where of “Cooney Meets World.” This edition grueling hours in the weight room or love, in that order. aspect of my life but my time at John Carroll I felt completely consumed by love. Love is also my last as editor in chief of The running drills just for the chance to The first of those trips started back on Hal- has enhanced it and allowed me to give back for traveling, love for a new amazing place Carroll News. play. Their will to win pushed them loween 2012. On that morning, The Carroll in ways I never could have imagined. I explored, but even more importantly love The past four years at The Car- towards their ultimate goal – a cham- News staff and I rose bright and early after a Spring Break provided the opening for for Brittany and the relationship we have. roll News provided some of the best pionship. long deadline night in the newsroom to head my next trip, which involved the renting of Love is an amazing feeling, and that final trip learning experiences I could have ever The point is that whatever paths to the Cleveland Hopkins airport, prepared for a mini-van, a 16-hour drive, and a group of allowed it to grow even more with me. asked for. Those experiences will gain we chose or goals we pursued, we a flight to the great city of Chicago. Chicago some of my best friends I’ve made at JCU. So there you have it. Four trips that even more meaning and practicality did our work with great passion. We was host to the ACP/CMA National College If you haven’t guessed, I went to Panama proved even further I made the right choice once I enter “the real world.” toiled with an incredible amount of Media Convention, an annual conference that City, Fla., and it was a trip I will look back on in building myself into the man I am today Exiting the newsroom for the last enthusiasm. We did what we did be- invites college students looking to excel and and always remember the great time I had at John Carroll University. The qualities that time as a Carroll News staffer is bit- cause we cared. gain knowledge in the field of media journal- with solid friends. We’d hit the beach during stood out and presented themselves in these tersweet. John Carroll University has The fierce zeal everyone shared was ism, broadcasting and more. The trip allowed the day, eat at delicious restaurants for dinner very different journeys directly connected been my second home, but it is time to evident from the moment I stepped on me to gain expertise in a field I not only love, and go out at night to enjoy various versions to what has been instilled in me deeper in move on to the bigger and better things campus as a freshman. That quality in but see myself working in throughout the of fun. It was the first time I had a chance to my four years here. Knowledge. Service. that lie ahead. the people I’ve met along the journey, Plenty of blood and sweat went entirety of my life. Looking back, I realize do anything for Spring Break outside of going Friendship. Love. thankfully, has not changed. I’ve seen into each of the issues I helped to put how valuable the experience was for me, home to Rochester with the same old cold When your time at John Carroll finally it in my friends, professors, colleagues out each week. Sunday, Monday and and I have used many of the things I learned weather as Cleveland. Wisely, I jumped on comes to an end, I hope you’ll believe you and alumni I have met. Tuesday nights were spent meticu- already. the opportunity. It was here that friendship out- discovered these four characteristics in JCU is a place that embodies that lously laying out pages, researching spirit of “ad Majorem dei gloriam.” The next trip came exactly two months shined everything else. The group of friends I yourself as well. my next story or crafting an article or after, at the turn of the year, when I returned to was with are people I see in my life for years Now, it’s our turn to go forth and set commentary. I always hoped that you, the world on fire, as St. Ignatius of John Carroll a week earlier than most students to come and to have the chance to enjoy their Contact Spencer German at the readers, felt what I had to say was to embark on an immersion trip to New Or- presence with no stress on our minds was [email protected] Loyola said. We are ready to make the important. world our own and share that passion That brings me to the title of this, we have with others. Wonderword: my final column. I offer my deepest This time might signal the end of apologies to my millions of adoring an era. But it’s time to also see this What does jackanapes mean? fans, but I won’t be giving the com- period as a new beginning. Right now, mencement address as Millor Orator. we have an opportunity to carpe diem I didn’t even apply. But if I had, the and passionately change the world for theme of my speech would have gone good. Will we seize the day? something like this … A new staff, led by Editor in Chief I found my niche at JCU through Zach Mentz and Managing Editor my work at The Carroll News. Count- Ryllie Danylko, takes over the reigns less late nights were spent, horrible of The (award-winning) Carroll News slices of pizza were digested, friends today. They are talented and ready to “A jackalope that eats fruit.” “An odd virus that causes you to “Jack spending time with were made, and jokes were cracked do a magnificent job. sneeze, hiccup and fart all at the the apes.” in our newsroom. In the end, our goal And now, in my new role, I’m same time.” was to put out a quality product every excited to see them seize their op- Austyn Jablonski, Nicole Shellenbarger, Thursday. Dave Schillero, portunity. junior sophomore Many traveled to areas of Cleve- sophomore land where others don’t frequent. They Contact Dan Cooney at Jackanapes: An impertinent, presumptuous person were called more to service, whether [email protected] The Bayer Necessities: Deus ex machina the floor. me through this chapter of my life and Dear Alma Mater, brave colors Shyamalan Alas, I have reached the end of my helping me realize that the journey gold and blue, you’ve led me to new I have a confession to make. I know time in this sacred spot on the bottom truly is the destination; also to the frontiers. this whole time you’ve been reading left-hand corner of page 18 in The Car- amazing people in my life who have Option B: The good riddance these columns, you’ve ascribed them Brian Bayer roll News. I don’t know who will be kept my Jesuit swag off the charts; and Finally! No more 5:37 a.m. dead- to a fellow you think is Brian Bayer. Managing Editor taking my place, but I can only hope to the educators at this school who have line nights, no more writer’s block, Well, that’s not entirely true. You see, And just like that, my writing days that it is someone with the courage to gone out of their way to educate me no more 12-hour-old Guy’s Pizza. there is no Brian Bayer. were over. inspire, entertain and offend people in both in the classroom and as a person Tuesday nights are mine again. Here’s the twist: the person you Not so, my friends, not so. It’s true the name of free speech and humor. for and with others. Thank you. So what should I do with all this think is Brian Bayer is Dan Cooney. – this is my last official column as a It seems that I’ve written on just Next year, I will be working to- time? Go to The Pub, right? Nope Think about it … You’ve never actu- staff writer for The award-winning about every subject that seemed rel- wards peace, by fighting for justice in – I’m sleeping. I haven’t slept on a ally seen the two together. You might Carroll News, and it is most certainly evant, so in many ways, I feel that I’ve Ecuador at Rostro de Cristo. This is not Tuesday night since high school. I think you have, but it’s always been bittersweet. (Don’t worry; there’s one given you the key to understanding a path I could have ever anticipated, don’t even know if my body will let when you’re really hung over – you’re more after this in the senior special the meaning of life. Now your job is but the overwhelming guidance and me. But, darn it, I’m going to try. just seeing double. edition in a few weeks, but this is the to figure it out. support I have gotten from my fam- So here are a few good riddance Thing is, I, Dan Cooney, have a lot last installment of “The Bayer Neces- That being said, how can I possibly ily at home and at Carroll has made secrets that I’ll share with you: 1) I that I want to say, but I don’t want to sities.”) come up with an ending that ties to- me confident that this is the best way never know what the WonderWord tarnish my reputation as the friendliest And let me say, I have loved be- gether all of these collegiate themes in to leave my handprint on the world means either, so stop asking me. 2) guy on campus. That’s why I secretly ing here for you these four years. For one culminating column? The answer right now. I’m a mostly sarcastic person. Good live a double life as the distance- some, I am glad I could serve as your is simple: I can’t. That is why I have So, in honor of our little school in luck figuring out if I’m being serious running, five o’clock-shadowed, sexy Virgil through the nine treacherous decided to offer you several “deus ex Cleveland, here is my senior adaptation about that. 3) In November, I voted for journalist you know as Brian; through levels of Niehoff’s Inferno, a.k.a. JCU machina” endings. You may choose of our fight song: the candidate with both an “M” and an that name, I have been able to conquer (just kidding, Father – I’m sure if we the one that best suits you. Onward, On John Carroll, For “O” in his last name. And 4) More of every topic, from sex to Jesus. Just like met, we’d be great friends). And for Option A: The Ignatian tear-jerk- you’ve given me four great years; you need to write letters to the editor. Pokémon, I got ‘em all. others, I am glad I could serve as your er Onward, On John Carroll, Onto Seriously, you’ve got the gift of free Roll the credits. Bayer out. last-minute giftwrap or your bathroom As I move onto this next chapter of Jesuit dreams and noble careers; speech – use it. Apathy hates everyone reading material when your phone my life, I can’t help but give thanks. Onward, On John Carroll, You’ve equally. Contact Brian Bayer at was dead and my face was lying on Foremost, I thank God for guiding helped me conquer all my fears; Option C: The M. Night [email protected] Op/Ed 19 The Carroll News www.jcunews.com April 11, 2013 Off the Richter: The Op/Ed Top Ten: European adventures, continued Pick-up lines barrier. Imagine having pink eye in a general tone and way in which they are 1. Help! I’ve fallen for you, and I can’t 6. Do you have a map? Because I just foreign country and trying to explain being delivered. get up! got lost in your eyes. to a pharmacist what was wrong with While in a bus station, Maggie and Clara Richter you. Do you have that image in your I had to ask where we could purchase 2. Let’s make like fabric softener and 7. Do you believe in love at first sight, or Staff Columnist mind? Okay. That’s what happened to tickets for a bus back to Lisbon, if we snuggle. should I walk by again? DUBLIN – It’s now April 11, and me in Portugal. I’m pretty sure I got the had gotten off at the wrong stop (which 3. There’s something wrong with my 8. Did you have Lucky Charms for I’m sure you’re all wondering the same sketchiest eye drops ever. But hey, the we had). The bus driver didn’t speak phone. It doesn’t have your number breakfast? Because you are looking thing: “How is St. Patrick’s Day in Ire- pink eye cleared up, so I guess our sign English, nor did any of the people getting in it. magically delicious. land?” Well, to be honest, it was fairly language conversation actually worked off of the bus with us. 4. Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs 9. Are you religious? Because you are anticlimactic. As much as I would have out for the best. One elderly woman, even though still exist right? the answer to all of my prayers. liked to have been sipping on multiple We missed a train and had to take she didn’t speak English, seemed to un- an overnight bus, meaning that we were derstand our dilemma, and very sweetly 5. If being sexy was a crime, you’d be 10. Do you know what my shirt is made Guinnesses in a Dublin pub, I was, unfortunately, sick, and therefore my dead tired when we got into London on tapped Maggie’s arm, babbled some- guilty as charged. of? Boyfriend/girlfriend material. festivities were a little lackluster. Sunday afternoon. At the time, we were thing in Portuguese, gently grabbed her —Compiled by Grace Kaucic The day after St. Patrick’s Day I absolutely distressed and over-exhausted sleeve and led us in the right direction. boarded a plane to Portugal, the hid- and “hangry” (when you’re hungry and She then began to explain our situation den gem of Europe. Most people have the low blood sugar makes you angry). to the woman working at the ticket never been there ( it’s not really Europe’s While all of these travel experi- counter. The column number one tourist attraction for those ences were happening, we were think- Even though she didn’t really know Nick’s Knack: who live outside of the E.U.), but boy, ing about how terrible our lives were; what we were saying, and even though column is it beautiful. but now, even though it’s barely two we didn’t really know what she was Most of my time was spent in weeks later, we are able to laugh about saying, there was an understanding on I had a hundred ideas rolling through my Lisbon, which reminds me a lot of San it. Whenever any one of us mentions her part that we needed help, and there head, a hundred topics about which to Francisco. Steep hills, trolley cars, mild our disaster-ridden trip to Portugal or was an understanding on our part that write, and doing so would change the weather. It really is a lovely city filled London or Scotland, none of us can she was helping us. Kindness crosses world. The end of this column will give help but laugh. language barriers. me 39 titles to my name, totaling 28,274 with tons of history and interesting words. I ran out of ideas a long time ago. things to see, including a castle, Europe’s One of the most important things Studying abroad is unique, in that it Nick Wojtasik I’ve gotten less funny than I was in the widest river, a bridge that was designed that being abroad has taught me is to just pushes a lot of kids to the edge of their Asst. Editorial & Op/Ed Editor beginning. My seven loyal readers have by the same man who designed the roll with the punches and take things as comfort zone. I have to talk to people in pointed out that my general topics are few Golden Gate and sidewalks that qualify they come. something other than my native tongue. This week started just like many oth- in number, typically going conformity, as works of art. So, something bad happens, you’re A lot of times I have to approach strang- ers do. Sunday was filled with relaxation nature, society, Native Americans, nature, The most difficult thing about be- in a foreign country. Calm down, put ers and trust that they are going to help and procrastination. Monday was typi- The System, nature, repeat. It seems I ing in Portugal was not speaking the your thinking cap on, and come up me. When things go wrong, I have to cally dreadful. Tuesday rolls around with try to cover my lack of creativity with language. Yes, they speak their own with some ideas about how to solve the relax and figure out, on my own or with little hope of the weekend in sight and the extreme length, which will be turned in language in Portugal (you’d be surprised problem. You have a mouth and vocal the help of only a few others, how to standard barrage of tasks and assignments no earlier than 9 p.m. on deadline night at how many people don’t know that). chords, don’t you? Ask questions. Ask remedy the situation. doing all they can to hold one back from (sorry guys). Portuguese sounds like a mix between for directions, or when the next bus is, The most important thing is to basking in the change in weather that as- In professional publications, the col- Spanish and Russian. I’m sure that no or where you are. remember to laugh at yourself and the sails in like a miraculous deluge this time umnists typically take a topic from current Portuguese person would appreciate me Maybe you don’t speak the lan- ridiculous situations you get yourself of year. A large portion of the commence- events, analyze the situation and give their ment weeks of the past two years have, for saying that, but that’s the truth. It’s like guage. Smile, use what few phrases you into. To every problem there is a solution personal commentary. This style can be Spanish, but a lot of sounds are softened. know, and talk in a kind tone. Kindness and a crazy-ridiculous story to tell your me, included a factor uncommon among seen in our World News and Business and most students. This week, like the others, It sounds most beautiful when it is sung is the universal language. Even if you friends and family when you get home. Finance sections. The Op/Ed columns are (listen to “The Girl from Ipanema” if don’t speak the same language, people And that’s something that doesn’t just began with me searching for a column surely a different breed, deviating from you don’t believe me). can understand when you are being apply when studying abroad, but in all topic. The stakes are a little higher though, this standard procedure and commenting The trip was at least 10 times more nice and genuine; and even if you can’t situations in life. since this is my final regular-issue column. on nearly every topic imaginable. Some of an adventure than it normally would understand the words that one another So, I’ve decided to bore you one last time might say this devalues what we write. Contact Clara Richter at are saying, you can still understand the by illustrating the “Life and Times” of a On the contrary I find this fact to give have been because of the language [email protected] columnist. more value to our oeuvre. When any given person picks up an Anyone can look anywhere to find issue of The Carroll News, the colorful somebody praising Mitt Romney “solv- YOURVIEW Letter to the editor or shocking headlines typically grab the ing” the economic situation or telling attention of the reader. The performances Written by Noah Lamprecht, Class of 2011 Americans to step up and get back on I’m glad. I’m glad that I’m a man. I mean, come on: they don’t eat dead to reason with the hen-pecking monster of our sports teams are rousing, the eco- top in the world education ranks. While I’m glad that my penis is a symbol of animals. No, it’s okay; those are only at home. The illustration is clearly beg- nomic news, compelling and the behavior we’ve occasionally written on these top- both carnival fun and patriarchal oppres- the views of some “crude and insensi- ging to be made: Aristotle (he invented of the world’s leaders, titillating. The Op/ ics, we usually hit a little closer to home, tive” people. Brian is accepting of all logic!) can’t even win an argument Ed section closes the issue with the writ- though not obviously. sion. I’m glad that when I don’t shave with his wife. He can’t win, despite ings of some of the editors of the paper. Column topics come from the world for a week and sport what is, at best, a kinds of men. I’m glad that everybody Some readers might laugh at our around us and the things we experience. questionable beard, that I’m exerting is welcome in Bayer’s “manily.” the fact that he’s a brilliant thinker, and thoughts. Others, cry. The mildly offen- A conversation with a friend, a break up, an innate hegemonic power over the Nevermind that subtly paralleling she – in his estimation – isn’t a complete sive, yet humorously-intended words of a bad performance in school or on the women in my life. Most importantly, both vegetarians and homosexuals as human (check “Poetics” and “On the “The Bayer Necessities” has been known playing field of athletics, or observing our I’m glad that Brian Bayer is around to outsiders in the same sentence is hor- Generation of Animals”). Again, it’s to bring people to arms. A fresh perspec- fellow humans as we roam the streets can, speak up for me. ribly offensive. Ignore the bias behind not offensive, it’s a compliment. Bayer tive to the section can be found in the up- at least for me, inspire a myriad of mildly I’m glad that Bayer’s right: being a the curtain, Dorothy. isn’t stereotyping, he’s complimenting, per left corner of page 18 in “Our View” philosophical revelations, not always hav- man is “awesome.” He’s also right that I’m glad that if my girlfriend (Hi, obviously. from an editor of one of the neighboring ing continuity. I’ve also named my coffee his last piece on gender relations was honey) and I stay together long enough I’m glad that Bayer speaks for all sections. Then there is me, who you’ve press “The Idea Factory.” less than perfect. Hey, you say “sexist as for her to become my “baby mama,” men. I’m glad that his writings don’t obviously found, in “Nick’s Knack.” Writing columns has helped me real- the day is long,” I say “tomato.” we can both be at peace in our roles. fly in the face of the tremendous, on- Among other things, I’ve become known ize that the things around us, no matter the Let’s be real: every man categori- We can share in the knowledge that I going efforts to eliminate bias on John as that kid with the mustache in his pic- immediate genesis, tend to follow similar cally enjoys meat. Something about will be holding my penis like a carnival Carroll’s campus. I’m glad that “at the ture, who writes things only professors trends of humanity. Though we might end of the day,” the fact that I can “pee can/choose to read and/or understand: a blood dripping down your chin, know- water gun (such efficiency!) , trying to think that we have diverse and flexible standing up” sets me above my female questionable assessment. ing you killed another creature to win her the biggest stuffed bear at the minds, capable of opening up and ab- survive, feeling how powerful you are lavatory amusement park while she colleagues, coworkers and students. The life of the columnist begins with sorbing or adopting anything, when one the clever name pun that will become the – simply because – makes eating all the squeezes out our children. I’m not glad at all. I’m offended, sits down and puts the pieces together 39 more powerful. Stereotypes be damned. I’m glad that great thinkers such as I’m ashamed, and I’m concerned – both over-arching name of one’s personal body times, that person might realize they stick Nobody could disagree with this. It’s Aristotle are on my side of the male vs. as an alumnus and as a current student of work. This is usually a collaborative ef- to a certain way of thinking and being. impossible to see how there could be female fight. Bayer is spot-on in noting – that such a sexist, offensive voice is fort of the entire staff and doesn’t usually The Op/Ed columns of The Carroll alternatives to Bayer’s points. that no matter how rational a man can allowed a weekly column in an official reflect the theme or style of the author’s News might not add to the bucket of school publication. work whatsoever. In “Cooney Meets commentaries on “important” topics But wait. Aren’t all vegetarians gay? be, he’s always doomed when he tries World,” Dan Cooney writes about much the world faces, like those in The New more than his formative years influenced York Times. Rather, they reflect the life by the ‘90s sitcom “Boy Meets World.” and times of every one of us, the things Got something to say? To date, no one has discovered if I have we experience and the ways we live, any knacks at all, excluding those likened exhibiting how our generation processes The Carroll News reserves the right to edit letters for length and to reject to the tendencies of Ambien or delirium. it all. Not as a whole, but as individuals letters if they are libelous or do not conform to standards of good taste. All Being given the privilege of getting a of a greater consciousness. column space is quite the exciting thing. letters received become the property of The Carroll News. Anonymous let- The writer has to fill 600 to 700 words with whatever they want. Everyone wants ters will not be published. Letters to the editor must not exceed 500 words to be revelatory or funny or both. When Contact Nick Wojtasik at and must be submitted to [email protected] by 5 p.m. on Sunday. given my debut in an “Our View” column, [email protected] CLASSIFIEDS

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Schedule Call or text 216-832-3269 for complete availability and contact information a personal tour today. 216-932-5555 ditional word. details. ASAP to: [email protected] FOR RENT - Available July 1, 2013. 8 minute walk to campus (Warrensville Summer & Full Time Positions. Colony Road. South Euclid. 4/5 bed- and Meadowbrook). Very clean well Beautiful Lakefront Yachting Club To be placed, ads room, 2 bath home close to campus. All maintained 2 family houses. Each seeks outgoing, motivated, individuals. must be typed or appliances, including washer/dryer in- suite has 3 bedrooms, living and din- Will train qualified candidates as: Serv- cluded. Front porch, back deck, no base- ing room, kitchen, 2 baths, central air, ers, Bussers, Host/Hostess, Bartend- handwritten clear- ment. Call/text Jeff at 440.479.2835 or alarm system, extra insulation, and all ers, Dock Attendants, Lifeguards, Line ly and legibly and email at [email protected] appliances including dishwashers. Ex- Cooks/Banquet Prep, Sailcamp Coun- for more details. cellent condition 440.821.6415 selors, Snack Bar Attendants. Incentive sent to or dropped Two and three bedroom duplexes on Free Rent – Nice home near campus – programs/flexible hrs, excellent pay, off at The Carroll Warrensville for rent. Call Curt at 216- help young at heart 80 + year old walk interview now for the best positions. 337-7796 dog, park car, etc. Female only- 216- Wednesday thru Sunday. 200 Yacht Club News office with Modern two-family house for rent for 371-2735 Dr. Rocky River, OH 44116. (440)333- next school year (available June 1st) 1155. Ask for Kathy/Marc. payment. 4 bedroom, 1.5 baths, 2-story brick – both two bedroom units available colonial home on quiet street detached (two or four people). Two blocks from Party good store in South Euclid looking 2-car garage. Stove refrigerator, dish- JCU. Modern amenities, air condition- for a stock person. Must be responsible, Classified ads will washer, washer, dryer included. Hard- ing, free washer/dryer use, snowplow- organized, able to lift heavy items, and wood floors in living room, dining not be run without ing included. Large rooms- plenty of drive. Flexible hours. Please call 216- room, and bedrooms. Large kitchen. storage. Professionally Managed!!! 509-2282 pre-payment. Full basement with laundry. Utilities Call 216-292-3727. Student Employment Oppurtunity not included. Secure now for June 1st Sarah, our intelligent and engaging For Rent/Sale for JCU students. Clean for 12/13 school year $300 per student fifteen-year-old daughter, has cerebral 3 bedroom, 1.5 bathrooms, single fam- Classifieds will based on 4 occ. $1200 mos / 4 br – Nice palsy and is hearing impaired. We are ily home, appliances with washer and home. For Rent **Great for Students** looking for someone to productively oc- not be taken over dryer, 2 car garage–deck-front porch, Call 216-347-0795 cupy her while mom and dad attend to 1 mile to JCU, max – 3 tenants, $250 the phone. Dead- everyday tasks and to accompany her to each - $750 plus utilities. Jw15@uak- Second floor 2 bedroom unit for rent. her local day camps during the summer. line for classifieds ron.edu This unit is located directly across the street from John Carroll annex on Green $11 per hour during first 90 days. Then is noon of the Duplex for Rent. Spacious & Well- Road. The unit has a large living area, $18 per hour for the first hour worked Maintained. Each Unit has 3 Bdrms, decorative fireplace, screened in back each day plus $14.50 per hour thereafter. Monday prior to 1½ Bath. ¼ Mile from JCU. Call JCU porch, spacious rooms, large closets, Hours are very flexible. Next school year publication. Alumni @ 440.336.2437. garage parking, washer and dryer and is available as well. For consideration, all appliances included. Rent $750.00 please contact Ben and Teri Chmielews- Your Classified Ad each unit./mnth 440-542-0232. ki at 216-577-0114. benchmielewski@ For Ad Rates and HERE! Available June 15. gmail.com . Our Shaker Heights home is located near JCU. Information: Are you a lifeguard? The Shoreby Club Mail us at: The mansion, is looking for summer life- guards. Pay is 10-12/hr and you can work Carroll News Looking for a place 20+ hours/week. Only 20 minutes away. John Carroll Send resume to [email protected] Univ. 1 John Looking for dog walker/sitter in Shaker to advertise? Heights for daily walks and occasional Carroll Blvd. overnights for two small dogs. Must be University Hts, responsible, have experience with dogs, and references. Pre-Veterinary students OH 44118 preferred. 216-255-3071 carrollnewsads@ gmail.com. THE Federal Law bans dis- crimination by race, sex, CARROLL religion, color, national origin, family status and Look no further than handicap in all Ohio rental property. The Carroll NEWS News will not knowingly accept advertising in vio- lation of this law. As a The Carroll News consequence, The Car- email us at SINCE roll News will not accept rental ads that stipulate the [email protected] 1925 gender of the tenants.