Jewish - Progressive/Reform Jewish support to accompany the dying and grieving in the time of Covid-19

Judaism recommends that just before a person passes away is an appropriate time to extend and receive forgiveness. It is traditional for the dying person to recite the following . However, if the person is unable to do so, this confession may be recited for them. Ideally, if you are in a different room than the dying person, you might find a way to let them know that you are reciting this on their behalf:

My G-d and G-d of my fathers and mothers May my prayer come before You. Do not ignore my plea. Please, forgive me for all of the sins That I sinned before You throughout my lifetime. I am ashamed of deeds that I have committed. I regret things that I have done. Now, O G-d, take my pain and suffering as atonement. Forgive my mistakes, for against You have I sinned. May it be Your will, Adonai , my G-d and G-d of my ancestors That I sin no more. In Your great mercy, cleanse me of the sins I have committed But not through suffering and disease. Send me a complete healing along with all those who are ill. I acknowledge before You, Adonai my G-d and G-d of my ancestors, That my healing and my death are in Your hands. May it be Your will to grant me a complete healing. If it be Your will that I am to die of this illness, Let my death be atonement for all the wrongs that I have done in my life. Shelter me in the shadow of Your wings. Grant me a place in the world to come. Parent of orphans and Guardian of widows Protect my dear ones, With whose souls my soul is bound. Into your hand I place my soul. You have redeemed me, O G-d of truth. Shema Yisrael, Adonai Elohenu Adonai Echad. Hear O Israel, The Lord our G-d, The Lord is One. Adonai Hu Ha’. Adonai Hu Ha’Elohim. Adonai is G-d. Adonai is G-d.

If your loved one has passed away, The following blessing should be recited. If you wish to do so, you may also cut or rip a piece of inexpensive clothing, such as a t-shirt:

Baruch Atah Adonai, Hadayan ha’emet Blessed is Adonai, the True Judge.

You may then offer this prayer if it is meaningful to you. Feel free to add or substitute parts as you choose:

I am thankful for ______and for all the ways ______was a blessing in my life. It is now time to return my loved one’s spirit to G-d’s safekeeping. I do this with great sadness and reluctance, especially because I was unable to be at ______’s side at this time. May G-d gather my loved one in and shelter them under Your wings. May G-d care for me (and my family) as we walk through this time of grief separately, but together. May G-d who has brought a final healing and peace to my loved one bless each of us with comfort and wholeness as we face the days ahead. G-d has given. G-d has taken. May G-d’s name be blessed. .

While you are waiting for the funeral home to come to your house, you may follow the Jewish tradition of reciting . Psalm 23 and may be of particular comfort: ​ ​ ​ ​

Psalm 23 A psalm of David. Adonai is my shepherd; I lack nothing. G-d makes me lie down in green pastures; G-d leads me to water in places of repose; G-d renews my life; G-d guides me in right paths as befits G-d’s name. Though I walk through a valley of deepest darkness, I fear no harm, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff—they comfort me. You spread a table for me in full view of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my drink is abundant. Only goodness and steadfast love shall pursue me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Adonai for many long years.

Psalm 121 A song for ascents. I turn my eyes to the mountains; from where will my help come? My help comes from Adonai, maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot give way; your guardian will not slumber; See, the guardian of Israel neither slumbers nor sleeps! Adonai is your guardian, Adonai is your protection at your right hand. By day the sun will not strike you, nor the moon by night. Adonai will guard you from all harm; G-d will guard your life. Adonai will guard your going and coming now and forever.

Jewish traditions for a house of mourning. ​ Feel free to use the ones that are meaningful to you: --covering all mirrors to avoid focusing on the self at this time --eating round foods such as hard-boiled eggs following the funeral to symbolise the cycle of life --sitting on a low stool or chair for shiva—seven days—following the funeral. Some people modify this mourning period to three days. Some people sit in a regular chair to be kind to their backs. However you do it, it is a time to sit with your grief and your memories, but not a time to be alone: reach out to your friends and family and look for opportunities to celebrate the memories of your loved one. -- traditionally recite Mourner’s for a minimum of 30 days (11 months for parents) after the funeral. This prayer is supposed to be recited in the presence of ten Jews over the age of 13. This can be accomplished through a daily Zoom call, which might be of comfort to others in your community who have recently experienced loss. If bringing together ten Jews isn’t possible, the prayer may be recited alone. The words to this prayer follow and a recording of the recitation can also be accessed at this link https://reformjudaism.org/practice/prayers-blessings/mourners-kaddish

Yitgadal v’yitkadash sh’mei raba b’alma di v’ra chirutei, v’yamlich malchutei, b’chayeichon uv’yomeichon uv’chayei d’chol beit Yisrael, baagala uviz’man kariv, v’im’ru: Amen. Y’hei sh’mei raba m’varach l’alam ul’almei almaya. Yitbarach v’ v’yitpaar v’yitromam v’yitnasei, v’yit’hadar v’yitaleh v’yit’halal sh’mei d’kud’sha b’rich hu, l’eila min kol birchata v’shirata, tushb’chata v’nechemata, daamiran b’alma, v’imru: Amen. ​ ​

With thanks to Rabbi Shoshana Kaminsky, Adelaide South Australia