HONI SOIT Issue 15 AUGUST 10th 2011 12-10pm Tomorrow is the last night of the SYDNEY WINTER FESTIVAL, so get those ice skates on and head to the winter wonderland outside St Mary’s Cathedral in the city for some ice, ice baby. 7.30PM The med revue, BEAUTY AND DECEASED kicks off the 2011 revue season tonight. It’s on til Sat, but if you head WED along tonight Westpac will donate $10 from every ticket to Cure Cancer Australia and the Milk Crate Theatre. Come and see the people who will one day save your lives do their thing. $20/25 We are eating PEPPER and CHIPS! 10th 3-5PM An inter-society event to remember, the Tea Society, Chopsticks, WASABI and ChocSoc team up for MAID CAFE. Inspired by quirky Japanese cafes, these tasty socs are taking over the Holme Reading Room and Common Room for an afternoon of delicious food and fun games, and maid costumes. Yep. 5-10PM SoulXPress is hosting an inter-varsity dance competition at Manning Bar tonight, SYNERGY VOL. 6. It’s FREE, so head along and check out the showcase performances. Super impressive, super fun. 10am-6pm • All the ladies! Don your racing stripes and head to the BIG FASHION SALE for material madness. Designers include Dhini, Shakuhachi,• Ruby Smallbone & Nicola Finetti. With 50-70% off, prices start from a measly $15. Swap the boozy night for a new outfit, or buy one for it. On until Sunday at 74 Oxford St, Darlinghurst. Check out The Arts Bit for a bit of a chatsie with Children Collide ahead 8pm Watch the kids connect at Manning Bar for Melbourne of their Manning shindig. moshers CHILDREN COLLIDE. Supported by DZ Deathrays & Damn Terran, gear up for a rockin’ night of rollin’. Access $21.25 FRI + bf from the Access Desk. General $25 + bf from manningbar.com 4-6PM Blank space gallery opening nights can be a tight squeeze, but head in early for the launch of WIGGIN’ OUT, a collection of emerging Sydney artists wandering amongst their own subconscious minds. SAT Crown St Surry Hills FO’ FREE. 13th 9:30PM Elves? 9:32PM NO. 04 05 5pm Calling all film buffs!A CLOSE SHAVE is the uni’s short short film competition. A short short film competition? That’s right. You have just 24 hours to make a short film, based on a theme that’s being announced online at 5pm sharp. Massive prizes up for grabs! FROM 8am The streets of Sydney flood with thousands of brightly coloured bibs as fitness freaks unite for the SUN annual CITY 2 SURF. Stamp the pavement with the flock or watch, beer in hand, in awe. 07 10Am The crunchiest violet crumble of a picnic group on campus, the Chocolate Society (Chocsoc) are having a PANCAKE MORNING TEA on the Gadigal Lawns FREE for Chocsoc members, only $1 for Access. ARTERIES! CLOG ‘EM. 08 MON 5pm Hope you got your entries in for A CLOSE SHAVE! 15th 6.30pm Does government control help or hinder our social well-being? Intellligence Squared Australia delve into 10 notions of fundamental freedom and responsiblity, debating the controversial topic: DO WE NEED A NANNY STATE? TUE The Great Hall, FREE for USU and University of Sydney staff, students and alumni. 16th THE LOVECHILD: DISCLAIMER Honi Soit is published by the Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney, O Rihanna Level 1 Wentworth Building, City Road, University of Sydney, NSW, 2006. The SRC’s Rod Stewart operation costs, space and administrative support are financed by the University of RETRACTION Sydney. The editors of Honi Soit and the SRC acknowledge the traditional owners of Honi Soit apologises for forgetting this land, the Gadigal people of the Eora nation. Honi Soit is written, printed, and distributed on Aboriginal land. Honi Soit is printed under the auspices of the SRC’s Beat The to include a copy of our first EP Honi directors of student publications: Pat Massarani, Rhys Pogonoski, Deborah White, Sings The Blues with last week’s issue. Pierce Hartigan, Alistair Stephenson and Meghan Bacheldor. All expressions are As a result, our first single ‘Of Mice published on the basis that they are not to be regarded as the opinions of the SRC System and Mandela’ went largely unnoticed unless specifically stated. The Council accepts no responsibility for the accuracy despite the objectively excellent of any of the opinions or information contained within this newspaper, nor does it on the endorse any of the advertisements and insertions. Honi Soit is printed by MPD. rhyming of the word “Steinbeck” with ADVERTISING: To advertise in Honi Soit, contact Tina Kao or Amanda LeMay success of “respect”. Look out for our follow up [email protected] single ‘Times New Roman Empire state www.src.usyd.edu.au Snowball of mind’. THIS WEEK’S TEAM EDITOR IN BEEF: Jacqueline Breen EDITORS: Neada Bulseco, James Colley, Bridie Connell, Shannon Connellan, Andy Fraser, 5 Julian Larnach, Michael Richardson, Laurence DAD JOKE OF THE WEEK: Rosier Staines, Tom Walker What did Sushi A say to REPORTERS: Lachlan Carey, Adam Chalmers, Something Sushi B? Cindy Chong, Shaun Crowe, Paul Ellis, Nick Findlater, Jim Fishwick, Pierce Hartigan, fishy in WASSUPBI?!?! Michael Koziol, Chris Martin, Matt Watson, Richard Withers the state CONTRIBUTORS: Emma Bacon, Alistair of Taste Magee, Luke Martin, Stephen Sharpe, Baguette? CRUCIVERBALIST: Jim Fishwick HONEY SUAVE COVER: Bridie Connell Do you have in-built GPS? COMIC: Alessandro Tuniz I feel like I’m lost without you. 6 Can’t make HONI SOIT head nor WEEK 3 ISSUE tail of the 10TH AUGUST 2011 news? we’ll CONTENTS break it down for LETTERS FEATURE you. 04 You’ve got mail, and classic other Meg 12 LAURENCE ROSIER STAINES hands in his Ryan films. global citizenship papers. CAMPUS 7 05 JACQUELINE BREEN makes a snow angel. THE ARTS BIT JULIAN LARNACH breaks news like a giant RICHARD WITHERS won’t let you breaks twigs. 14 make a monkey out of him! Feeling like ALISTAIR MAGEE doesn’t smoke, but will SHANNON CONNELLAN goes mad fight for your right smoke right in his face. for the square. a sluggish PIERCE HARTIGAN wrote this article with CHRIS MARTIN speaks with the his mouth full. funsters from Children Collide. Pokemon? CINDY CHONG rolls with her homies. NEADA BULSECO nearly died for EMMA BACON audits political economy. this story. Find out SHANNON CONNELLAN samples NEWS the resurrected Abercrombie how to MICHAEL KOZIOL separates level up by 07 the Malaysian solution from ... PAGE 16? the Malaysian precipitate. 16 SHANNON CONNELLAN & NEADA exercise. LUKE MARTIN delivers the news in bite- BULSECO bring you the best of the sized portions. best of the Splendour in the Grass. FARRAGO SRC GRIBBLIES 11 STEVEN SHARPE wants to be a foreign 17 Will Chad Sidler be pictured? 08 correspondent. Stay tuned! PAUL ELLIS rants against rants. Re-live it SHAUN CROWE thinks Turnbull is a false prophet. CRYPTONOMICON or see what NICK FINDLATER will be ticking “Shut up” you missed on the Census. 20 Drawings from the “mind” of MICHAEL RICHARDSON sleeps on and ALESSANDRO TUNIZ with this with the job JIM FISHWICK gets you flexible with SPORT your lexical. Splendour MATT WATSON bowls maidens over. wrap up! 10 TOM WALKER levels up with exercise. LACHLAN CAREY is forming some kind of Rugby Union. Will it be an unholy union? PROFILE 16 11 ADAM CHALMERS hits up Manning with new USU Board President Sibella Matthews. ? THE EDITORIAL letters Fuckity Fuck Fuck Dear Editor, I have been noticing that it is becoming a common trend to use fowl [sic] If you have any and disgusting language in numerous The Fall of Rome thoughts or comments on anything in this articles. Being University of Sydney W. H. Auden issue of Honi Soit, students I would expect a lot better. I please write to us at: don’t want to have to read an article with the ‘f’ word appearing several The piers are pummelled by the waves; times, it is offensive and makes the [email protected] writer sound like an unsophistacated In a lonely field the rain [sic] fool. Please clean your act up. Lashes an abandoned train; Kind regards, Isabelle W. Outlaws fill the mountain caves. Arts III Fantastic grow the evening gowns; Agents of the Fisc pursue Absconding tax-defaulters through The sewers of provincial towns. Letter from The Vault Private rites of magic send The temple prostitutes to sleep; Dear Honi, All the literati keep Is it true that you make up most of your letters An imaginary friend. in your ‘magyzine’? I was sifting through the vomit of your rag-of-rags and only managed to decipher through this garbage a reasonable Cerebrotonic Cato may article on an unknown fairy tale at the back about a dog which sends telegrams and Extol the Ancient Disciplines, carries his usual cigarettes in the disguise of But the muscle-bound Marines umbrellas. But then I turned to the front of your not-even-good-enough-for-wiping-yer- Mutiny for food and pay. bum-with and saw your letters. I would have thought that letters from such an institute would have been of a much higher standard Caesar’s double-bed is warm – take for example that Sluggo – who is As an unimportant clerk obviously too ashamed of his illiteracy not to put his true name down. I also thought, during Writes I DO NOT LIKE MY WORK my torture of glancing through the pages (?) that there were more words in the English On a pink official form.