Poetry Diaspora

Journal of English Language and Literature Volume 3 No.1 February 2015

Poetry Diaspora

Angela Khristin Brown College of Southern Nevada, United States [email protected]

When you never gave a damn 1. Art of Letting Go About me and the kind person When I fell in love with you I am I could not love another If we only tried to talk I was willing to sacrifice my life ‘bout the good in what all I do To my one and only lover Just to think you would ever try For the love and the intimacy, to get to know I was willing to take the risk Me better I was committed to a relationship 3. Blues The one possession I admitted Fate was our relationship My heart is all mucky This one, you one, I Down, trodden-blue. Would make us My mind is filled in Harlem As one, in unison Dreary days are doomed. Chancing odds against time Day after day I'm trapped inside this maze. My heart had broken I'm dying, dying trying to escape Into many pieces My soul trapped in phases. When you said we're threw Longing to come out I thought I'd die I'm crying, crying trying to escape. And go to hell The discourse of my future Until I got over you Won't go away. Now I am at peace with God Locked inside my mind My heart has grown as one All passion held inside. Knowing that I had found Many tears have shed A place in my heart Have long wasted aside. With the art of letting go Misery gone, gone blown away. I'm fighting, fighting riding out the pain. 2. Black or White The color of my heart is blue. I neglected the feelings Mucky, down-trodden blue. I never expressed 4. Coa Coa Eyes Hurt by your rumors Concerned and depressed Coa Coa Eyes I felt sad and concerned Our eyes gaze with desire, About the rumors you spread The radiant glow. Unkind words and gestures Stars piercing rays of light, Spit, Speck, Croon, Mongrole Our eyes stared, affectionately. Can do harm Emotions faded tears of sorrow, There are days gone by Fell from the corner of my eye. I wanted to say Compassion, our eyes met, I am sorry that you neglected my feelings That cold winter night. And treated me this way As our eyes embraced If I could take back the anger With romance. Deep inside my heart Inhaling with devotion, I would say I am sorry Eternally engulfed with passion. And try a fresh start The desire, the moment, Instead The emotion, I was the idiot who cared Surrendering affection. You would be more sincere Hey baby,

Can't keep my eyes off you I yearn to embrace And with the way you stare at me A sign I'm going to keep it true I wait in disparity to survive Coa Coa Eyes I will not be discouraged Last night Wondering meeting Felt good inside Time is no barrier Its just the simplest things I have sacrificed You say and do My legacy You blow my mind With mercy Made me laugh again Afraid I must Longing in desire Move on Touched by the affection Of your intellect 6. Dance of Death Nurtured my heart Mourning is hell A sure beginning A rusted hand reaching out Of making ends meet Into discovery. A fresh start Dead upon arrival Partially Heavy breath whispering In agreement Into dawn. On occasions The winter cold I desire Presses its roots To recognize Into the surface of my heart. The love Blood drips from a palate We made last night Of forgotten silence Was worth my time The dark bitter past. Hey baby, Part of being removed Do you have the time to spend with me Part of being replaced Tell me what I mean to you Part of being used, You are what happiness brings Of imaging your presence Coa Coa Eyes Negating my life When I first met you Emerging from death A thousand thoughts Engaging death's strength raced through my mind Into a cavity of fire. I could not contain my grace Death has pierced my soul Your voice opened the doorway Had death danced its last word To my heart Smiling, fading, smiling Scared in the moment Gasping for life within I'll get it one more try The arms of serenity Hey baby, Quietly purging hope I wanta know what's on your mind Of no return. I wanta know The hole in my heart bleeds What's on your mind Not knowing your presence Coa Coa Eyes Not knowing your return. 5. Courage 7. Grace of God Cowardly and ashamed, guilt I felt love for God in my heart only because God showed Has poisoned my eyes he cared As I walk through My heart was broken many times by the ones I trusted The fiery blaze of death most I yearn for peace God talked me through the hurt and pain and showed me Blinded I cannot hide what I am worth By the dark, my pride Through all my frustrations hatred of being deceived I Demands for respect learned to shut out the world I ask, is this the end God taught me how to set aside my anger by expressing It is my calling my true love I am holding on I had learned to open up and trust through what was once Stirring through frustration was broken

I was able to speak openly for the first time by sharing my Know of emotions Rivers I learned I am best being who I am and not no imitation I have learned to speak my mind and not from altercations 9. Inequality I feel better with who I am and not from others Indiscriminate expectations Of self-ignorance If only I had spoken what I feel now it would be a start to a I you we new beginning Are profiled Why do I feel so guilty to trust, acting out of curiosity? Deviant to existence While I have so much to be thankful for God Letting history unfold Has brought me many blessings An adulteration of inclusion God gave me the gift to love Terror and pain 8. I Speak of Rivers Scorned from within Hidden from the retribution I know rivers Of enslavement Dry, salty rivers Hidden from the anger Of the Congo, Euphrates Of being incarcerated And Nile rivers Hidden from the confusion Deep rivers Of being trapped Deeply rooted Confined in the walls Flowing blood, bleeding Of pain and regret Through my veins Complacent Rivers soiled with I You Me Bloody rivers Are victims of our I know rivers Self-hate of our Deep severity rivers Self-denial Of the Mississippi river Not understanding That embodies the lives lost Our fears In the slave trade Our desires Flowing deeply invested Our loneliness In painful rivers Not wanting Bloody rivers Conflict Cold blooded We show hatred Rivers Through suicide I know rivers Through isolation That runs so deep, once removed Pelting the pain From the Atlantic, racy thoughts That rests inside Suicidal, lost, forbidden truth A heart fisted in Overboard I once lay in the ocean Anger a grudge Of anxiety, the fear of dying Trying to voice Calling out, searching, The words of Wanting to escape Litany To be free, free That thirst Flowing from captivity Our addictions Flowing for my life Our drug habits Flowing within my soul The tyranny of gang wars Crying rivers Our adulteration Flowing rivers Of the labels Severity rivers That define I know rivers The essence That flow deep Of our race They are seeing rivers And deny Who tell the stories What we have Lying mercifully Become Deep social Within our own Rivers Litany of the voice within I too Of Self-doubt

Of Self-pitty I shall not be moved. And of self-shame Her universe, often Summarized into one black body 10. Onipulant Falling finally from the tree to her feet, Nubian sky Made her cry each time into a new voice. Black as night All my past hastens to defeat, Black misty dawn And strangers claim the glory of my love, Black blue black dawn Iniquity has bound me to his bed. Black radiant dawn Yet, I must not be moved. As radiant as black space She heard the names, Empty of presence Swirling ribbons in the wind of history: The sun changes into day Nigger, nigger bitch, heifer, The moon settles into dawn Mammy, property, creature, ape, baboon, Blue black sky Whore, hot tail, thing, it. A radiant reflection She said, but my description cannot of flowing light Fit your tongue, for Through the eyes of God I have a certain way of being in this world, Watching over me And I shall not, I shall not be moved. No angel stretched protecting wings 11. Our Grandmothers Above the heads of her children, Fluttering and urging the winds of reason She lay, skin down in the moist dirt, Into the confusions of their lives. The canebrake rustling The sprouted like young weeds, With the whispers of leaves, and But she could not shield their growth Loud longing of hounds and From the grinding blades of ignorance, nor The ransack of hunters crackling the near Shape them into symbolic topiaries. Branches. She sent them away, She muttered, lifting her head a nod toward Underground, overland, in coaches and Freedom, Shoeless. I shall not, I shall not be moved. When you learn, teach. She gathered her babies, When you get, give. Their tears slick as oil on black faces, As for me, Their young eyes canvassing mornings of madness. I shall not be moved. Momma, is Master going to sell you She stood in mid ocean, seeking dry land. From us tomorrow? She searched God's face. Yes. Assured, Unless you keep walking more She placed her fire of service And talking less. On the altar, and though Yes. Clothed in the finery of faith, Unless the keeper of our lives When she appeared at the temple door, Releases me from all commandments. No sign welcomed Yes. Black Grandmother, Enter here. And your lives, Into the crashing sound, Never mine to live, Into wickedness, she cried, Will be executed upon the killing floor of No one, no, nor no one million Innocents. Ones dare deny me God, I go forth Unless you match my heart and words, Along, and stand as ten thousand. Saying with me, The Divine upon my right I shall not be moved. Impels me to pull forever In Virginia tobacco fields, At the latch on Freedom's gate. Leaning into the curve The Holy Spirit upon my left leads my Of Steinway Feet without ceasing into the camp of the Pianos, along Arkansas roads, Righteous and into the tents of the free. In the red hills of Georgia, These momma faces, lemon-yellow, plum-purple, Into the palms of her chained hands, she Honey-brown, have grimaced and twisted Cried against calamity, Down a pyramid for years. You have tried to destroy me She is Sheba the Sojourner, And though I perish daily, Harriet and Zora, © TechMind Research, Society 222 | P a g e Journal of English Language and Literature Volume 3 No.1 February 2015

Mary Bethune and Angela, I pray for a rive of love Annie to Zenobia. Where my feet dance joy She stands I cry for a river of love Before the abortion clinic, Where my soul flows. Confounded by the lack of choices. I am the old poet In the Welfare line, Of pain regret burden Reduced to the pity of handouts. I am the new poet Ordained in the pulpit, shielded Writing life back into my breath. By the mysteries. In the operating room, 14. Sacrifice Husbanding life. I watch time wondering, In the choir loft, Phasing in and out Holding God in her throat. Contemplating thought. On lonely street corners, Doubt, empty of holding reason; Hawking her body. But still remains confused. In the classroom, loving the With movement Children to understanding. To walk, to run, to crawl Centered on the world's stage, Is a struggle She sings to her loves and beloveds, Bending, stretching, fainting, To her foes and detractors: Pushing for discovery, However I am perceived and deceived, Dancing for life. However my ignorance and conceits, Growing weak, Lay aside your fears that I will be undone, Failing, alluding strength, For I shall not be moved. Rested on mediation, 12. Poetess As time sleeps. In deep sleep, I am a poet Sleeping, time rests I, feel movement From reality Passionate movement - Unaware of non-existence. Leaping words of emotion across the page Time's anger I expel gestures with conviction. Demonstrates pride. I, surrender expression of joy As if life so complacent Geeing meaning of agility and grace. With time, I, am poet, Mediating space Writing verse in a beam of light Feeling loved has become Flowing lines of text through gravity. Obedient to nature. My poems are the universe in motion Is the ordinance of time Whose words add meaning A means of human error? Centered on universal thought. Is life so consumed With certainty of pain 13. Poetry Writer That desire, a need, a want, a hope, Voices climb effortlessly A prayer is insolvent Through this gate of thorns Of any imposition? I become another Is our purpose in life Wasted suicide Chasing dreams of uncertainty, I become a prisoner of stolen voices Misguided in direction Empty hearts letting go And incongruent matter? Relationships pierce the glass ceiling of my heart We live in the disparity I cry for all the life I love. Of doubt, of reason, of hope, I become the disabled poet That has taught us to be Singing words into a barren sky Indifferent to opinion, Voices sing my name backwards Insubordinate to change, Lead me into a dance of death. Defiant to order, Invisible wings Incognizant of reason, Cover my fears We fight, we plead, we cry Invisible wings We challenge our fate, Cover my scars. Valuing the life

That has taught us all to pray. Conflicting words, misguided speech - The wrong words 15. The Life I Love The wrong attitude I cry I morn for the life A disposition I had let go many tears Mistaken for impartiality of the Held suicidal thoughts not wanting to let go Emotionally disturbed. There is not a time that goes by A romantic altercation In thought in memory in prayer Developed this personality into a rose, That I kept you on my mind That bloomed into a Memories sustain holding you near Beautiful image of expression. My heart will wrongfully remain An articulate voice Can't let go of letting go Once silenced, was heard. Knowing that you exist 17. To My Stolen Child The need the want of having you Shall persist Stolen I cry I morn for the life I had let go many tears held When you came into my life Suicidal thoughts I opened up Not wanting to let go To release eternal hope There is not a time that goes by in thought in memory in I travel many miles prayer that I kept you To come to this On my mind With a promise Memories sustain holding you near my heart will To give love wrongfully remain One more try Can't let go of letting go knowing that you exist the need To embrace my love the want of having With sanctity You shall persist Stay with me As long as I know you in my heart I fear I am to blame Without you stolen from my womb, I walk low head bowed down Unaware, my life won't be the same Hurt in an epitome of shame I walk low head bowed down hurt in an epitome of shame I live in the poverty of resentment I live in the poverty of For the life I loosed I am the blame Resentment for the life I loosed I am the blame I confess I lived in sin I confess I lived in sin the host of sin I lived a white lie The host of sin tales of darkness I lived a white lie Envy infidelity and lust must soul lead to die Tales of darkness It was for this secret God had changed my life in Chasity a Infidelity and lust decision an idea a Must soul lead to die Legacy to strive It was for this secret If only I had the will to fight for what is mine I owe my God had changed my life child an oath to whose In Chasity a decision Will has defined my purpose An idea a legacy to strive I wish you were here with me now, we parted for good When you came into my life reason I opened up To release eternal hope 18. What a Wonderful World I travel many miles What a Wonderful World To come to this The spacious ski is clear, With a promise Like heaven above is pure To give love Hugs and kisses from Mom, One more try Is worth all her love To embrace my love What a glorious feeling With sanctity God has made for me I wish you were here with me now What a wonderful world this must be 16. The Seed that Bloomed Raindrops shelter tears, From white angelic wings of praise My Biography Rainbows the color of unity, A voice silenced in fear Become learned lessons of the day Of being questioned. What a glorious feeling

God has made for me Found poems using words What a wonderful world this must be Taken from text Images of good health, Analogies, poetic themes used poems Become imprints in my mind Words based on personal experiences People, places and things Translate words from other languages Are worth all my time Compared from Shakespeare analytical antidotes. What a glorious feeling My voice to tell a story to create images God has made for me To create emotions that give life What a wonderful world this must be Knowledge in relating a message As the imprint of their smiles, About personal conviction Bring prayer to my days, About how I relate to life Love has touched a special part of me To my struggle. In so many ways I use talent to address problems It's the air I breathe Of the people behind it It's the food I eat That make others understand me It's the clothes I wear I am poet It's the people I meet I make a difference Thank God for many things In my voice Here is the human nature Poetry is the mirror image of perfection: Ere to healthy living Its meaningful text, burns words for eternity. I am blessed God watches over me 20. World Terrorism What a wonderful world indeed Terror standing idol 19. Word Power Clear eyed Touching watching staring There is something I wanted to say, In the eyes of fate If only you listen to my thoughts, Its escape Words are confusing me, can't rest my mind on what I feel, Its flow My emotions twist my words around, Its fire I can't think back, it is not what it was supposed to be, Waiting Why did you not respond to my actions, The memory of waking stones Actions speak in gestures, Recognizes promise Words speak in symbols, Death does not say The matter of truth is misspelled, Speechless stones Let us speak in honesty, Cover ashes scattering You cannot begin to understand, In the air What I am trying to say is... Weeping tears I can benefit from the exposure. Counting ghosts I write poetry as a form of expression The dark whispers for And I feel I have a need to have Instructions My voice heard. I use personal experience Lessons learned have gone gone goodbye To communicate with the audience Without notice without consent Through the images of expressing Weeping eyes Metaphors, analogies and emotions Have wept meaning I reflect on cultural experience Speechless for words To explicate meaning to passionate words Old unspoken words That describe a state of being