U.S. Postage Paid at Williamsburg, Va.

VARIETY: The Mad Woman of Chaillot offers laughts and insanity, page 7

SPORTS: REVIEWS: Check out the rowing club, Sexy Sin City thrills, page 15 page 11

APRIL 8, 2005 VOL.95, NO.22 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE COLLEGE OF WILLIAM AND MARY SINCE 1911 http://flathat.wm.edu Campus groups promote Model UN team wins World

The conference took place sexual assault awareness from March 28 to April 1 and was Model UN attended by 17 delegates from Championship the College chosen from 100 members of the Collegeʼs Inter- Delegates national Relations club. College delegates also won 11 awards for Class of 2005 individual diplomacy. Daniel Clark* According to the World MUN COURTESY GRAPHIC ✦ WORLDMUN.ORG Peter De Nesnera website, individual diplomacy Julia Johnson BY MEERA FICKLING awards are given to the individu- Jehan Khaleeli THE FLAT HAT als who “best capture the spirit of Eugene Oliver* World MUN in each committee.” Katie Riche* The Collegeʼs Model United The two Outstanding Delegation Matt Thompson* Nations team returned to campus awards are given each year to victorious, winning the Outstand- teams that have the highest ra- Class of 2006 ing Delegation Award for the sec- tio of individual winners to team Will Herman* ond year in a row, after spending members. Katie Spatz* a week at the Harvard-sponsored “We were all really proud of Rob Vernon World MUN Conference in Ed- our team and that all 17 members Sarah Wyatt inburgh, Scotland. The award, contributed, and weʼre thankful which was also presented to West for the support weʼd gotten from Class of 2007 ALLIE VEINOTE ✦ THE FLAT HAT Students take a moment to reflect on the weekʼs events, share their own experiences and offer comfort to Point, is given to the best per- the school,” junior Will Herman, Shamus Brennan* each other during a candlelight vigil held yesterday evening in the Wren Courtyard. forming team in the competition. vice president of the International Mike Reed* Vice President for Student Relations Club and head delegate Alan Wehler* BY KRISTIN WALKER at the College in the mid 1980s, was more students and on-campus orga- Affairs Sam Sadler encouraged of the team, said. Kendra Wergin* FLAT HAT STAFF WRITER co-sponsored by the Feminist Ma- nizations than ever before. students to congratulate the team In the month before the confer- jority Leadership Alliance and the The Take Back the Night Rally in an e-mail sent to the student ence, the team met twice a week Class 2008 Sexual Assault Awareness Week Alliance for Sexual Assault Preven- began at the University Center Ter- body. for between 30 minutes and two culminated yesterday evening with tion, an umbrella organization that race with dozens of students voicing “This makes three world and a half hours to share research Gillian Horton* the Take Back the Night Rally, end- unites nine campus groups that deal their concerns over sexual assault championships in just a few short and ideas about the discussion Saul Mutchnick* ing a week-long series of lectures, with sexual assault-related issues. both on and off the Collegeʼs cam- years,” Sadler wrote. “In the past topics, which were assigned be- * Individual Diplomacy discussion programs and perfor- According to Campus Organizer of pus. Students began their comments decade I donʼt know that any uni- forehand. The Harvard World Award Winner mances aimed to increase awareness SAAW and Vice-President of the with “Iʼm pissed off about …” before versity has accomplished what See UN ✦ page 3 of the prevalence of sexual assault. FMLA senior Christine Simpson, they have.” See AWARENESS ✦ page 3 The annual SAAW, which began this weekʼs program has pulled in

Senator GOOD DAY SUNSHINE Syrian cleared of diplomat charges talks to students

BY JILL CLARE FLAT HAT ASST. NEWS EDITOR

The Middle Eastern Cultural As- sociation Thursday hosted Syrian Ambassador to the United States Imad Moustapha, who spoke first about the history of Syria and then about the political situation in the Middle East, emphasizing Syriaʼs position in Middle Eastern issues. “We canʼt understand the nature COURTESY PHOTO ✦ STUDENT ASSEMBLY Senator-elect for the Class of 2006 of this continuing conflict unless we Luther Lowe know a bit about the history and cul- ture of the area,” Annie Higgins of BY MICHAEL J. SCHOBEL the modern languages department FLAT HAT NEWS EDITOR said in her introduction of Mousta- pha. “The ambassador was invited The Student Assembly Review to give us a bit of context.” Board held its second hearing Mon- Moustapha began with a brief re- day night concerning junior Bobby ligious and cultural history of Syria. Jasinskiʼs allegation that senior Lu- ALLIE VEINOTE ✦ THE FLAT HAT Moustapha provided a pamphlet ther Lowe committed fraud during Students celebrated the warm spring weather this week by taking to the Sunken Gardens to play kickball or just relax in the sunshine. from the Syrian Ministry of Tour- the recent SA elections. The Review ism that detailed Syriaʼs ancient his- Board found in favor of Lowe 5-1, tory, describing such finds as what with one recusal, in a statement re- is believed to be the first alphabet in leased later that night, which said Senate passes bill to combat professor bias history and the first known musical that the charges against Lowe could manuscript in history. neither be confirmed nor would BY LOUIS MALICK with state and local laws. would not be capable of rendering tive to the Judicial Council selec- Moustapha also spoke about the they have affected the outcome of FLAT HAT ASST. SPORTS EDITOR “If at any point our policy is chal- the best decision. tion committee, said that it would way Christian and Muslim Syrian the election. lenged in court … we are going to “The Dean of Students knows be irresponsible for the senate to citizens interact and the Christian A senate candidate for the class After a delayed start due to a lack have issues,” sophomore Sen. Victor what makes a good Judicial Coun- participate in the process without heritage and history found in Syria. of 2006, Jasinski challenged that of quorum, the Student Assembly Sulkowski said. cil member from the perspective of the preparation and interviews con- According to Moustapha, 80 percent Lowe, the current vice president Senate met Wednesday night for the Freshman Sen. Sasha Eckstein the Dean of Students [as opposed to ducted by the selection panel named of Syrians are Muslims, with Chris- of advocacy for the class of 2005, second to last session before inau- disagreed. the student perspective], “Sulkowski by the Dean of Students. tian and Jewish sects comprising the broke a series of rules during last guration of the new senators. Sen- “I really donʼt think itʼs going to said. other 20 percent. See SENATE ✦ page 3 monthʼs SA elections and was not ate debate commenced after several be a safety hazard as some people Porell, a non-voting representa- “The cultural and inter-faith har- even eligible for candidacy as a committee reports and deferring ap- might make it out to be,” she said. monious concord and co-existence member of the class of 2006. Among proval of the minutes from the last An amendment that would have between Christians and Muslims in the charges, Jasinski said that Lowe meeting because none had been changed the bill to read, “water bal- Syria make me particularly proud of failed to disclose his connection to written. loons should be allowed on campus,” my country,” he said. the website www.thetribetonights- The Aquatic Weapons Ban Re- failed 6-9-2. The bill itself failed on Moustapha also spoke of what he late.com in financial statements that peal was debated in response to a a tie vote broken by SA Vice Presi- called the formidable challenges that candidates must submit and that the referendum approved by 67 percent dent senior Kelly Porell, 8-9-2. Syria faces. The greatest challenge, author of the website libeled several of the vote in the SA election last The senate tabled the Student he said, is creating jobs. candidates. month. Sponsored by Senate Chair Handbook Reform Act of 2005, “I donʼt really see any difference Lowe was generally silent at junior Matt Wigginton, the bill sponsored by sophomore Sen. Scott between you and my students in Da- Mondayʼs hearing, choosing to would allow the possession of toy Fitzgerald, which would allow the mascus,” he said to the students in have a representative, senior Sen. weapons and water guns on campus senate to have a say in the selec- the audience. “Youʼre all concerned Tommy Moll, speak for him. At one if they meet standards such that they tion of judicial council members by about two things: how you will have point during the proceedings, Lowe do not resemble real weapons and approving or rejecting the slate of fun this weekend and what you will read a statement in which he denied all gun reservoirs are filled only with nominations proposed by the Dean do after graduation.” having any financial connection to water. of Students. This would restore the Due to of the large number of stu- the website Several senators voiced concern confirmation process that was in dents attending universities in Syria, “I didnʼt pay for the site,” Lowe over the potential for toy weapons place until two years ago. Several Moustapha said that creating jobs is said after the meeting. to be misconstrued as real weapons, senators said they felt that students the most formidable challenge that Lowe responded to the charge that creating the possibility of assault, should have a greater say in judicial Syria faces in coming years. He esti- he was ineligible for candidacy in the robbery or other crimes committed council appointments, while oth- LAUREN BRYANT ✦ THE FLAT HAT mated that 60 percent of Syrians are with the aid of toy weapons. There ers said confirmation is beyond the Junior Sen. Jhett Nelson places his face in his hands in despair as See CHARGES ✦ page 3 See DIPLOMAT ✦ page 3 was also concern over compliance senateʼs authority and that senators junior Sen. Dan Tsin attempts to record a roll call vote. QUOTATION of the week Who overcomes by force hath over-

News come but half his foe. N IGHT JOHN MILTON ✦ I S NEWS APRIL 8, 2005 BARTLETTʼS FAMILIAR QUOTATIONS 2 “ Inside this week’s issue Beyond the ’Burg ” ✦ NEWS IN BRIEF ✦ Prominent anthopologist to speak at the College

✦ AYWALKERS TARGETED IN According to the Offi ce of University Relations, anthropologist J U. Patricia Wright will make a presentation entitled “Saving Madagas-

ARIETY carʼs Rainforests: Integration of Conservation and Sustainable De- KENTUCKY POLICE PROGRAM velopment,” April 13 at 7:30 p.m. in McGlothlin-Street Hall room V 20. The event is free and open to the public. (U-WIRE) LEXINGTON, Ky. — The University of Kentucky For the past 20 years, Wright has been part of the effort to preserve police have begun a program to decrease accidents on South Lime- the rainforests in Madagascar, and during her career she discovered a The Meridian is a student run coffehouse offering a wel- stone Street by slowing drivers down and cracking down on jay- species of lemur and led the fi ght for the creation of a national park. coming atmosphere for those seeking an alternative. walking. Wrightʼs work earned her the MacArthur genius award. See MERIDIAN, page 7. “Itʼs an educational program,” Maj. Joe Monroe of UK police She is currently an anthropology and ecology and evolution pro- said. fessor at Stony Brook University in New York. In addition, she is the Ken Clevidence, director of public safety, said the program is director of the Institute for the Conservation of Tropical Environ- aimed at a specifi c trouble spot on campus. ... ments and the international coordinator for the Ranomafana National The fi rst part of the three phase Pedestrian Awareness and Safety Park Project. program — or PAWS — is a “media blitz” to spread the word to people who travel South Limestone Street. The following week, College to host White House forum on aging offi cers will begin handing out pamphlets and issuing warnings to EVIEWS jaywalkers. The College will host a White House Conference on Aging Solu-

R The third week of the program, citations and fi nes will be written tions Forum April 14 from 8:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. in the Commonwealth for jaywalking. Auditorium. The forum is hosted in collaboration with the Center for The program comes after fi ve accidents on South Limestone Excellence in Aging and Geriatric Health, the Virginia Department Sri Lanka native and music pioneer M.I.A is at the forefront Street within the past three months. UK Chandler Medical Cen- for the Aging and the Virginia State Offi ce of AARP. of an increaingly popular ‘grime’ genre. Discover the genre ter employee Leroy Saunders was killed in one accident, and UK The forum is part of a series and is one of 12 conducted nation- and the hot artists on the rise. spokeswoman Mary Margaret Colliver was seriously injured in an wide and the only such conference in Virginia. The forum will in- See GENRE, page 11. accident March 22. A total of nine accidents occurred in 2004. ... clude three panels: Planning along the Lifespan, Healthy Aging & Drivers wonʼt slip under the radar, either. UK police will increase Livable Communities and Opportunities for Social Engagment. traffi c enforcement in the area, aiming to stop drivers from speeding College President Timothy J. Sullivan will present opening re- or running red lights, Monroe said. ... marks. Louis Rossiter, senior fellow at the Center for Public Policy Research at the College, will moderate. Associate Professor of Eco- A similar program was begun last year but never got off the nomics Jennifer Mellor and Fred Czufi n, from the Christopher Wren ground. Association, will serve as College representatives on the panel. “It kind of got sidetracked [last year],” Monroe said. “Now weʼve The forum is free and open to the public. Interested persons must got the endorsement of the presidentʼs offi ce.”

PINIONS call 221-7794 before April 11 to attend. UK offi cers, who will work extra time after their regular shifts,

O will staff the program. Clevidence said paying for all the overtime in the next three weeks would cost “a couple thousand dollars.” ... Network of Enlightened Women begins on campus Understanding the possibility of date rape should be real- Monroe said itʼs about increasing awareness on both sides. The Network of Enlightened Women held its fi rst meeting ized this sexual assault awareness and prevention month. “We want to reduce the number of vehicle-pedestrian collisions,” Wednesday. N.E.W. is an interest group at the College aimed at con- Monroe said. “[Pedestrians] canʼt step out in front of a vehicle and servative women and will hold regular meetings Wednesdays at 6:30 See SEXUAL VIOLENCE, page 6. expect it to stop. Theyʼve both got to cohabitate the area.” p.m. in Tucker 213. — By Dariush Shafa, Kentucky Kernel (U. Kentucky) — compiled by andy zahn — compiled by andy zahn

RTS Friday Saturday Sunday O P WEEKEND S WEATHER High 67 High 58 High 63 Women’s lacrosse continues their season with a victory Low 45 Low 41 Low 44 over James Madison University and a loss to George Mason University. Source: www.weather.com See Lacrosse, page 14.

Thursday, March 31 — Five male students were referred to the administration and one summons was issued for alleged un- derage possession of alcohol at James Blair Hall. 1 Saturday, April 2 — A student at Pi Kappa Alpha reported a

LINE door knob was damaged. The stimated damages were $75. 2

N — A male student was referred to the administration for an alleged alcohol policy violation. The student reportedly jumped 9 O a fence at Fraternity Field after being warned twice. 3 6 3 — A male student was referred to the administration for be- ing drunk in public at Lambda Chi. 2 Can’t get enough of The Flat Hat each week? Read The Flat 10 2 Sunday, April 3 — Parking Services reported the larceny of a wheel lock allegedly removed from a booted vehicle at the Hat online to get coverage of William and Mary Students 4 Yates Hall parking lot. The estimated value of the wheel lock for Fair Trade’s Globalization panel discussion. You won’t was $400. 4 want to miss this. 7 — A female student reported that unidentifi ed persons broke See http://fl athat.wm.edu/ the rear window of her vehicle at Phi Beta Kappa Memorial Hall parking lot. The estimated damages were $350. 5 — A female student reported that two tires on her car had OPINIONS, PAGE 5 ✦ VARIETY, PAGE 7 ✦ BRIEFS, PAGE 10 been slashed while it was parked on Wake Drive. The estimated REVIEWS, PAGE 11 ✦ SPORTS, PAGE 14 damages were $200. 6 Monday, April 4 — Staff reported that a window had been 5 8 broken at the Archeological Research Lab. The estimated dam- 1 ages were $15. 7 Tuesday, April 5 — A female student at Hughes Hall report- ed having received an obscene phone call that began as a phone survey. 8 OLICE Wednesday, April 6 — A female student at Nicholson Hall P reported having received four obscene phone calls from an un- ʻStabilitas et Fidesʼ known male. 9 25 Campus Center, The College of William and Mary, Williamsburg, Va. 23185 BEAT — A male student at Nicholas Hall reported a possible inci- Editorial Dept. (757) 221-3281 ✦ Advertising Dept. (757) 221-3283 ✦ Fax (757) 221-3242 dence of identity theft. He allegedly received an e-mail from his The Flat Hat — fl [email protected] ✦ News — [email protected] ✦ Variety — [email protected] bank requesting personal information. The e-mail was not sent ✦ Sports — [email protected] Reviews — [email protected] Opinions — [email protected] 10 Briefs — [email protected] ✦ Calendar — [email protected] ✦ Advertising — [email protected] by his bank and was reportedly part of a scam.

Stephen Carley, Editor-in-Chief ✦ Virginia Paulus, Executive Editor — compiled by michael j. schobel Demetria Penix, Business Manager ✦ Elena Tsiaperas, Ads Production Manager Daniel Grady, Accountant

✦ Michael J. Schobel, News Editor ✦ Natalie Ronollo, Asst. Opinions Editor ✦ Alejandro Salinas, Variety Editor ✦ Ashley Baird, Copy Chief STREET BEAT : ✦ Chris Adams, Sports Editor ✦ Margaret Hoffecker and Annie Russo, Copy ✦ Will Milton, Reviews Editor Editors ✦ Sara Slater, Opinions Editor ✦ Danielle Espino, Online Editor What do you think about the impact of the sexual assault awareness groups on campus? ✦ Lauren Bryant, Photography Editor ✦ Nathan Burgess and Nate Loehrke, Graphics ✦ Jill Clare, Asst. News Editor Editors ✦ Andy Zahn, Asst. News Editor ✦ Justin White, Editorial Cartoonist ✦ Max Fisher, Asst. Variety Editor ✦ Natalie Ronollo, Briefs Editor ✦ Louis Malick, Asst. Sports Editor ✦ Julia Snyder, Sex Column Cartoonist ✦ Christina Tkacik, Asst. Reviews Editor ✦ Annie Mueller, Production Assistant

Letters to the Editor and Opinions columns are due at 5 p.m. Tuesday for publication the following Friday. All submissions must be typed and double-spaced, and must include the authorʼs name, telephone number and any relevant titles or affi liations with campus or national groups. Letters should be no more than 300 words, columns should be no more than 700 words. Letters must be e-mailed to [email protected]. The Flat Hat reserves the right to edit all material. Because of space limitations, The Flat Hat may not publish all submissions. The Flat Hat Editorial Board meets weekly to discuss the position taken by editorials. Unsigned editori- als are written by the Editor or a designated member of the Editorial Board. All Board editorials refl ect the I see lots of posters but no real peo- They’re helpful. The presentation We had one mandatory meeting that I really haven’t noticed any influ- consensus of the Editorial Board. Letters, columns, graphics and cartoons refl ect the view of the author ple who are part of the groups. they gave had the most impact on was good, and several of my friends ence that they have had, but I think only. me. have joined them. it’s good that they are around. The Flat Hat wishes to correct any facts printed incorrectly. Corrections may be submitted by e-mail to the section editor in which the incorrect information was printed. Requests for corrections will be accepted ✦ Heather Collmus, sophomore ✦ Chris Stratton, freshman ✦ Laura Allen, freshman ✦ Courtney Alderman, sophomore at any time. — photos and interviews by lizzy spencer NEWS ✦ APRIL 8, 2005 3

WARENESS Back the Night. A “I know a lot of friends, family and acquaintances UN FROM PAGE 1 GA passes non- who have been affected by sexual assault and domestic FROM PAGE 1 violence,” freshman Danielle Garrett said. “So itʼs a per- addressing a wide range of issues, from the continuation sonal issue for me.” MUN conference hosted over 1,000 of frequent rapes on college campuses, the safety of stu- The week began last Saturday evening when the students from six continents and partisan BOV bill dents at the College, the socialization of women in Ameri- “Women in Music Night” drew a crowd of more than over 50 different countries, includ- can culture to be quiet victims and the lack of discussion 100 students to hear a variety of music performances. ing Venezuela, Pakistan, China and BY CAITLIN WEBER of same-sex rape. Other events throughout the course of the week in- Taiwan. The conference simulated FLAT HAT STAFF WRITER “It is happening, and it is happening on this campus,” cluded a self-defense class with Chief of the Campus 17 different UN committees, each sophomore Sean Barker, member-at-large of the Lambda Police Donald Challis, a “Healing in Harmony” a capella assigned to a controversial topic The Virginia General Assembly passed an amendment to the Higher Alliance, said. concert, a survivorʼs support session and a presentation in world affairs: Topics included Education Reform Act, which will create a non-partisan Board of Visitors The rally continued as male and female students and panel discussion by Every Two Minutes. the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, the Appointments Commission. Gov. Warner proposed the bill last Thursday, marched through the UC and across campus to the Cam- Every Two Minutes, an all-female sexual assault genocide in the Darfur region of the and following lobbying efforts by Virginia21, it passed 85-14 Wednesday. pus Center chanting, “Fight for your right. Take back the prevention organization, held this question and answer Sudan and gay, lesbian, bisexual and “[The amendment] will create a committee to screen applicants for night.” session Tuesday. Representatives from AVALON, a non- transgender rights. For six to seven the Board of Visitors and make it a merit-based appointment process,” The WM Clothesline, a display of t-shirts adorned profit agency serving the needs of domestic violence hours per day, delegates debated Virginia 21 Communications Director David Solimini, ʼ04, said. with words of encouragement for survivors, decorated and sexual assault victims, the Dean of Students Judicial their issue in formal committee Virginia21 created a petition to get the backing of students across the the UC. The shirts on the clothesline were designed by Affairs Office, the King Student Health Center and the meetings and informal caucuses to state of Virginia. more than 30 student organizations, including each class campus Sexual Assault Service Coordinator Donna Hay- create a resolution, a paper that out- “In 100 hours, we got 1,000 student signatures on a letter to the Gen- currently enrolled at the College. good Jackson all participated in the session. lines the committeeʼs position and eral Assembly to get their support,” Solimini said. Take Back the Night concluded with a candlelight Purple ribbons were delivered to all studentsʼ CSU proposals. At the end of the confer- According to a Virginia21 press release, The amendment was intro- vigil in the Wren Courtyard where an estimated 30 stu- boxes in an effort to raise campus awareness and show ence, the director and assistant di- duced because the higher education reform legislation gives university dents convened, many sharing their personal stories as support for ending sexual violence and assault. rectors for each committee chose in- boards of visitors greater autonomy, increasing the need for qualified well as offering support for victims. In total, more than “We need to make this a campus issue, not just a dividuals from their group to receive individuals, and not the merely well-connected. 75 students gathered for the events associated with Take womenʼs issue,” Simpson said. the individual diplomacy awards. “This will ensure we have the best, most qualified people running our colleges,” Virginia21 Executive Director Jesse Ferguson said. “Stu- The Review Board Class and in the relationship between the two dents donʼt want partisan politicians making patronage appointments to SENATE Tenure Amendment to the SA con- DIPLOMAT countries was after Sept. 11, 2001, college boards.” FROM PAGE 1 stitution, proposed by the finance FROM PAGE 1 when Syria gave the administration a Student Assembly President senior Ned Rice, the student represen- and budget committee, failed 7-8-2. wealth of information on Al-Qaeda, tative to the Collegeʼs BOV, said the boards should be filled by those After intense debate, the senate The bill stated that the SA Judicial younger than 40. which helped to thwart two separate interested in helping colleges. defeated the Senate Public Outreach Review Board must have at least Moustapha then spoke about plots against U.S. interests. “Members should be devoted to the school and desire to see it get Act, sponsored by junior Sen. Jhett one graduate student as a member. the political scene in Syria and the He also spoke of Syrian involve- better,” he said. “Some can do that financially, some have meetings with Nelson, 5-9-2. The bill would re- An amendment to the bill, which Middle East as a whole. The three ment in Lebanon, which has attracted faculty and students and some pour hours in, like with the recent presi- quire senators to make themselves would give members of the SA Ju- major issues he addressed were the attention in recent weeks, following dential search committee.” available to students in a public dicial Review Board appointments Israeli-Palestinian conflict, the Unit- the assassination of former Lebanese According to the office of the governor, the Higher Education Re- place one hour per month to answer for the span of their undergraduate ed Statesʼs involvement in Iraq and Prime Minister Rafik Hariri. form Act, passed in February of this year, provides more autonomy to questions and concerns. Some of the careers, failed 4-11-2. Syriaʼs involvement in Lebanon. Moustapha took questions after schools, which results in more authority for boards of visitors. main controversies surrounding the The last business of the meet- “I believe in my heart that peace his presentation. One student asked According to Virginia21, the amendment writes into law the sort of bill were that it would give an unfair ing was a bill to appropriate $500 will actually happen,” he said, refer- whether, as ambassador, he had to screening that Warner proposed in an executive order in 2002. advantage to incumbents running for to the freshman class from the con- ring to the ongoing conflict between adopt the Syrian governmentʼs po- “Itʼs a great way to codify whatʼs already in place and what has been office and that it would impose addi- solidated reserves fund. Freshman Syria and Israel over the Golan sitions on issues and forgo his per- working really well since 2002,” SA Vice President senior Kelly Porell tional obligations on newly-elected senators argued that their lack of Heights. “The best guarantee for sonal feelings. said. senators who ran without knowledge experience in the budget process peace is peace, not a piece of land.” “Usually diplomats are supposed Solimini said that the commission would ensure that the people best or consent of the added duty. was the main factor in the fresh- Moustapha said that relations to stick strictly to national policy,” for the job would be appointed to the BOV. Graduate Sen. Chris Supino cau- man classʼs low appropriation of between Syria and the U.S. are now Moustapha said. “But this is a time “Sometimes they are there because they are friends with the gov- tioned against the bill. Referring to $900 for the coming school year. more strained than they have been in of crisis between Syria and the U.S. ernor or gave a lot of money to a campaign or other cause,” he said. the frequency of proposed impeach- Other senators said they were con- years because of the situation in Iraq. In a time of crisis, I am empowered “Appointees need to have the best interests of the college in mind, not ments of SA members for not fulfill- cerned that the request for the ad- He said that Syria warned the U.S. by my government to look for cre- their own political gains.” ing their duties this year, he said, “do ditional funds was too vague and that invading Iraq would open up a ative solutions and compromises, so you think it would be a wise idea to that the senate would have little “Pandoraʼs box of woes and evil.” I must move away from the official impose more obligations that people idea where the money was going. “We hope that once the U.S. Syrian position. Itʼs such a sensitive tape, saying that one can claim to are not going to meet?” Freshman senators responded that leaves Iraq, we can go back to hav- task, but I must have the authority to CHARGES possess anything, but without evi- Fitzgerald said he disagreed and the freshman class was extremely ing very good relations with Ameri- discuss and change things.” FROM PAGE 1 dence the claim is meaningless. He that it was necessary to force sena- innovative and that forcing it to ca,” he said. The Reves Center, Charles Cen- added that even if the tape did exist, tors to make themselves available to submit more specific requests for He said that relations between ter and the Crutchfield Fund joined class of 2005 election by presenting the evidence it allegedly contained their constituents. each event might hamper its cre- the two countries soured only after the Middle Eastern Cultural Asso- a letter from Dean of Students Patri- was not pertinent to the case because “The argument that this should ativity. The bill was referred to the invasion of Iraq. According to ciation in sponsoring the ambassa- cia Volp, which stated that Lowe is a it said nothing of Loweʼs financial be done on an individual basis is committee for review. Moustapha, one of the best moments dorʼs visit. member of the class of 2006. Lowe involvement. bogus because no one is doing it,” transferred to the College from the “I can hold a tape and say itʼs he said. University of Central Arkansas in the got Victor Sulkowski confessing to The Academic Diversity Act, spring of 2003 and was a member of the murder of Jimmy Hoffa,” Lowe which would protect students from the social class of 2005 last year. said. “The fact is they couldnʼt pro- discrimination by professors for ex- Jasinski was joined at Mondayʼs duce a tape. They had the burden pressing their political and other per- hearing by sophomore Sen. Vic- of proof, and they failed to meet sonal beliefs during class discussions tor Sulkowski and junior Sen. Jhett that.” or in assignments, passed 14-0-4. Nelson. Sulkowski and Nelson said that regardless of Loweʼs financial connection to the website, he was clearly connected to it. “There is a serious polluting of the spirit of this election,” Sulkows- ki said. “I think everyone in their heart of hearts knows what went on here.” Jasinski suffered a setback when sophomore Will Coggin released an e-mail minutes before the hearing in which he said that he had decided that it was unwise to continue par- ticipating in the hearings. Last week, it was reported to the Review Board that Coggin had obtained a tape in which Lowe allegedly said that he had been involved with the website. Coggin later said that he withdrew from the hearings because he be- lieved that Sulkowski was using the hearings to fuel a personal vendetta against Lowe. Lowe brushed off reports of the 4 NEWS ✦ APRIL 8, 2005 Under the World Beat: Iraq M C R S C O P Prime minister appointed ✦ BY CHARLOTTE SABALIS represent Iraqʼs many different eth- a government has benefi ted Iraqi in- TESTS THAT ANALYZE SALIVA COULD MEAN AN END TO NEEDLES THE FLAT HAT nic and religious groups in the lead- surgents. ership of the country. The installation of the presiden- BY BECKY EASLEY Saliva testing is already used in drug tests in the Following two months of dead- “We agreed on Talabani because tial council requires a two-thirds FLAT HAT SCIENCE COLUMNIST workplace, although the majority of employers still lock, Iraqi political parties met Tues- of his qualities and patriotic history,” vote by the 275-member assembly. prefer urine testing. day and elected a president and two al-Shahristani said. The Shiite and Kurdish factions ne- Thanks to new studies demonstrating that various Drug testing is more accurate with saliva than vice presidents. The decision was Other than the presidentʼs power gotiated for weeks on a variety of is- diseases and substances in the body can be detected urine testing, because the test can be administered in “the fi rst signifi cant step in forming to appoint the prime minister, the of- sues. Together, the factions comprise in saliva as well as blood, needles might become one front of a supervisor, which reduces the chances of a government,” the April 6 online fi ce is largely ceremonial. According two-thirds of the assembly. Their co- less thing to fear at the doctorʼs offi ce. The studies tampering with the fl uids, Science Daily reported. edition of the International Herald to the interim constitution, the duty alition helped secure the selection of indicate that doctors, dentists and drug testers will According to the January edition of Discover mag- Tribune reported. Two days later, of the presidential council, which is Talabani and his vice presidents. soon have the ability to run tests for diseases, cavities azine, saliva-based drug tests have been approved by Ibrahim al-Jaafari, leader of the as- comprised of the president and his According to the AP, 60 percent and narcotics without resorting to fi nger-pricking or the Department of Transportation to measure alcohol semblyʼs religious Shiite faction, two vice presidents, is to “represent of Iraqʼs 26 million citizens are Shi- urine testing. levels. However, there is some hesitation about us- was named prime minister. the sovereignty of Iraq and oversee ites, 20 percent are Kurds and be- Although tests are still in progress, it appears that ing oral testing to detect the use of inhalation drugs. “[This is] a very important ses- the higher affairs of the country.” tween 15 and 20 percent are Sunni analyzing spit by various methods can be an effective Some researchers are concerned that unintentionally sion because this is the fi rst time According to the April 7 edition Arabs. According to Reuters, Shiite alternative to traditional urine and blood testing. Sa- inhaling drugs may produce false positives under in Iraqʼs history that the president of The Washington Post, al-Jaafari, and Kurdish factions tried to include liva and other oral fl uids contain many of the same saliva testing methods. According to Science Daily, proteins and other substances that blood and urine do. however, a scientist recently discovered that a false SITUATION: According to the March online edition of Science positive is highly unlikely 30 minutes or more after Following two months of deadlock, the Iraqi National Assembly selected a presidential council, Daily, the tests work by detecting a variety of sugars passive inhalation. and a prime minister was appointed this week. The presidential council will be filled by President in the proteins that bind to microbe surfaces. By plac- 67 proteins were identifi ed using oral fl uid test- Jalal Talabani, a Kurdish leader, and Vice Presidents Adel-Abdul Mahdi, a Shiite, and Sheik Ghazi ing saliva or oral fl uid on a test strip, a color change ing, Science Daily reported. That is over seven times al-Yawar, a Sunni. The council is largely ceremonial, although it is responsible for appointing the may occur that indicates the presence or absence of the number of proteins discovered in previous ex- prime minister. Ibrahim al-Jaafari, a physician and leader of the Dawa Islamic Party, will serve as a protein. There are more than 50 varieties of these periments, but it still does not compare to the 800 to Iraqʼs prime minister. He succeeds Iyad Allawi, a secular Shiite who led Iraqʼs interim government. sugars in oral fl uids. 1,600 proteins that have been identifi ed in fl uids of Levels of certain proteins in saliva could possi- the blood stream. bly reveal the presence of cavities in an individualʼs Researchers hope that, with advances in instru- and his deputies are elected in a le- leader of the Dawa Islamic Party, representatives of the Sunni Arab mouth. This could be especially helpful in cavity pre- ments and methods, the number of proteins that can gitimate and democratic way by the was appointed prime minister yes- minority, which won only 17 seats in vention because the protein can be detected prior to be detected by oral tests will increase signifi cantly. Iraqi people,” interim Vice President terday. Al-Jaafari is a physician who the Assembly in the Jan. 30 election, the formation of cavities. Saliva-based tests are likely to be marketed to the Rowsch Nouri Shaways said, ac- returned to Iraq in 2003 following according to Reuters. According to a February Associated Press release, public in do-it-yourself kits in the future. According cording to the April 6 online edition an exile in London. He will succeed The AP reported that President new tests have shown a promising ability to deter- to Boston Globe Online, people may be able to test of the Associated Press. He added current Prime Minister Iyad Allawi. George W. Bush congratulated the mine the presence of HIV in saliva. Some scientists themselves for infections at home with credit-card that deposed Iraqi dictator Saddam While the Dawa party favors a Iraqi Parliament on their decision. say that saliva tests could also detect substances such sized kits once more sophisticated methods are de- Hussein was able to watch the deci- religious government, al-Jaafari said “[The vote is a] momentous step as anthrax. veloped. sive session from his jail cell. that his party would not attempt to forward in Iraqʼs transition to de- Tests also have the potential to determine a per- “It would be benefi cial [for] the establish a fundamentalist state based mocracy,” Bush said. sonʼs likelihood of developing certain types of can- former dictator to see this process,” on Islamic sharia law. He pledged to According to White House Press cer. According to a Voice of America online news he said. respect human rights. Secretary Scott McClennon, Bush release, the University of California, Los Angeles de- According to Vice Speaker of the According to an April 6 report in called Talabani from Air Force One veloped a test that is 91 percent accurate in determin- Assembly Hussein al-Shahristani, the online edition of the Radio Free en route to Rome and commended ing if a patient is genetically prone to oral cancer. Kurdish leader Jalal Talabani was Europe, Talabani told reporters out- him on “his leadership and all that Oral HIV tests are already approved by the United elected Iraqʼs new president, and side the Baghdad Conference Palace he had done to put Iraq on a path to States Food and Drug Administration. The oral testing Adel Abdul Mahdi and Sheik Ghazi that he would work with al-Jaafari democracy.” Talabani thanked the method ensures that people can have results within 20 al-Yawar were elected vice presi- “to reach a suitable government United States for its support of Iraq. minutes. According to eMedicine Health online, about dents. Mahdi is an Arab Shiite politi- that will be accepted by all.” Many “The Iraqi people have shown 25 percent of Americans infected with HIV are un- cian and was the fi nance minister for Iraqis who have said they were dis- their commitment to democracy and aware of their disease, and part of the reason may be the outgoing transition government, appointed by the transitional gov- we, in turn, are committed to Iraq,”

a fear of needles or a failure to return for test results. COURTESY PHOTO ✦ WWW.RYVMED.COM and Sheik Ghazi al-Yawar is a Sunni ernment elected Jan. 30 echoed this Bush said in an offi cial statement. Scientists said they hope that oral testing methods for Thanks to saliva testing, using needles to draw blood Arab who has acted as president. sentiment, the April 5 online edition “We look forward to working with HIV will encourage more people to get tested. for certain tests may no longer be necessary. Al-Shahristani said that the elec- of Reuters reported. Some Iraqi of- this new government and we congrat- tion of Talabani was an attempt to fi cials say that the delay in forming ulate all Iraqis on this historic day.” ‘All My Children’ actress April 8, 2005 urges sexual assault awareness. Page 5 See SEXUAL VIOLENCE, [email protected] OPINIONS page 6 Lack of course options deplorable Another semester, another crappy experience with class registration. Why should anyone be sur- prised? Itʼs been this way pretty much as far back as anyone here can remember. While the school hemorrhages money, professors and courses, students are left behind and the long-term quality of the College plummets. No one doubts the commitment of many of our administrators to the school; cer- tainly some have proved they genuinely care about the Collegeʼs welfare. Some of the most important issues, however, involve registration: the availability of courses and the supposedly intuitive system designed to help us choose them. As we reported in the March 25 issue, 13 faculty members left the College last year, and the total number of professors has been on the decline since the 2001 to 2002 school year. Administrators quoted in the story tried to make the drop in professors and classes seem less critical, suggesting that the modicum of changes currently being implemented would significantly improve faculty morale. Though small increases in time for research, funding and a new president may help the College hire more professors, these are unlikely to reverse the current trend completely. Drastic changes are needed if the College wants to raise the faculty salary percentile from 23 to 70, Provost Feissʼ stated goal. The absence of enough qualified faculty obviously isnʼt the only problem. MyWMʼs “banner” is rife with technical problems, and notifying students about the beginning of the registration period in one microscopic spot on the homepage is entirely insufficient. What happened to e-mail notifications from the registrarʼs office? Nearly everyone on our staff found out about their registration window via their friends. But all the information is available on the website, the registrar will tell you. As if anyone could find anything there anyway. Soda, candy brands Also, the registrar no longer post an Excel file to help us find the courses we need, possibly because if they did, students would be able to count just how many classes have been cut in the last few years. Far too many courses have a “TBA” in the instructor column, and simple programming issues frustrate even the most simple requests; if one film viewing period lasts from 4 to 7 p.m. and the other from 7 to overdo variations 10 p.m., that is not a time conflict. And, if nothing else, the College must provide full descriptions of the upcoming yearʼs available classes in a course catalogue available before the registration period for Why is it that major companies like Coca Cola, they buy. And I truly doubt the longevity of even its the fall semester. What the hell good is it afterward? The sparse blurbs available on banner are pitiful Pepsi and various candy manufacturers feel the need popularity. attempts to tell students about the seven or eight classes they could take. to ruin their perfectly good original products by giv- All in all, at the end of my 5 to 10 p.m. shift, I Academic advisors from freshman year quickly become useless, offering little more help than a wet ing them a “new twist?” find myself refilling the refrigerator mostly with the noodle is to hammering a nail. Professors are often overwhelmed with too many jobs, leave without Although my job as an old standards: regular Coke, Diet Coke and Sprite. notice or are completely passive when it comes to helping their assigned students. About the only good attendant at the Candy Counter Based on these observations, I feel that the new thing that can be said about registration is the AP credit policy, and about the only good suggestion is often relentlessly busy with versions do not benefit the consumer or their pro- to come out of the Student Assembly for a while is the new program designed to help freshman get customers (by which, I mean ducers. acquainted with our ridiculous registration process. Iʼm pretty sure I get paid Maybe psychology majors can back me up with Too often we hear, “Oh, registration went really well. I just happened to get into the classes I want- more per hour than the Candy some theory about how these new choices and fla- ed.” Our point is, whether the College is “reworking” our curriculum or just dumping classes because Counter takes in per hour), I vors overwhelm the consumer, but they might be they donʼt have enough faculty, students shouldnʼt have to rely on luck to get the classes they want. seem to be able to find plenty rebuffed by those at the economics department, who of time to contemplate deeply deem overwhelming choice the very foundation of Editorial Board: Virginia all of the strange variations our market economy, backed up by the government that have been showing up in department who probably finds market economies Stephen Carley, Editor-in-Chief Paulus the candy and soda business. the backbone of stable democracies. And choice, of Virginia Paulus, Executive Editor ✦ Demetria Penix, Business Manager For the purposes of this col- course, is important to democracy for other reasons. Michael Schobel, News Editor ✦ Alejandro Salinas, Variety Editor umn, however, I will focus my attention and com- If no one runs against Saddam Hussein in an elec- Will Milton, Reviews Editor ✦ Chris Adams, Sports Editor ments on Coke. tion, thereʼs not much hope for a democracy, now is Sara Slater, Opinions Editor ✦ Justin White, Editorial Cartoonist C2, Lemon Coke, Diet Lemon Coke, Vanilla there? Ashley Baird, Copy Chief Coke and Lime Coke now fill up about half of the I could go on forever about Mountain Dew soda refrigerator at the Candy Counter. Sprite has variations (I think theyʼre up to four now), Reeseʼs also seen many transformations, namely Sprite Crunch Bars and what I have heard is the latest: Remix and Sprite Zero. (By the way, what is the dif- Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper (but donʼt quote me Assaults happen; fight ference between Diet Sprite and Sprite Zero? They on that). both are Sprite and both have no calories … the new I think my point is now apparent; these flavors name is not making me want to drink it any more.) are unnecessary. They canʼt possibly make a profit My first problem with all of these new creations for the companies, and consumers donʼt even like back in aftermath is, simply, why? them. Coke should have learned this from its experi- The Coca Cola Company cannot be making that mentation with Surge, the now discontinued, glow- Twenty-two year-old Yale graduate Natalie her. much money on these new products. I personally in-the-dark booger-colored soda that came out back Krinsky recently published her first book, “Chloe “It was the most painful experience of my have yet to buy anything other than Diet Coke or in my middle school days, but I digress. Does Yale,” based upon her work as sex columnist life,” she said. “Nobody tells you how painful it is plain old regular Coke, and most people I talk to at For me, there needs to be a happy medium. I for the Yale Daily News; it has a pink cover with because nobody would get them done.” the Candy Counter think the new versions are gross. have no problem with choice. Choice is good. But a cartoon outline of a cur- While the rape test was paid for by the state of The only drink that has not earned this negative title only in moderation. Choices for Coke should remain vaceous woman dangling a Connecticut, the emergency room visit ended up is Lime Coke. between Diet and regular Coke and Sprite, not all bikini top — the sort of novel costing $1,200 — and Yale refused to pay. Additionally, the people that actually do buy this other crap. Cosmo describes as “dyna- That week, the Barnard Dean of Students con- these new combinations are not drinking more Sprite is already lemon-flavored, so drink that if mite.” tacted Yaleʼs Dean Betty Trachtenberg at Claireʼs Coke, they are just drinking a different type. you want lemon. Or go to Europe, where they think Fortunately, most other request to get information about pressing charges So basically, these companies are putting loads Coke is iced tea and put lemons in it (this is much reviewers described it as against Michael: Claire had three options, and none of money into developing new recipes, female- better than some chemical pretending to be lemon “garbage,” and the book is of them looked promising. friendly bottle labels (Oh, the little lime on the label juice). Sprite is also lime-flavored, so if you like only ranked number 1,447 She could either press criminal charges, which is soooooo cute, I just have to have it) and million- limes, reach for a nice, cold, refreshing Sprite, not a on Amazon.comʼs sales list. would be difficult with lack of evidence, do noth- dollar advertisements to promote these new, gener- Lime Coke. Christina Unfortunately, the masses ing or submit a letter of complaint to the Yale ally awful sodas. So, in conclusion, everything besides Coke, Diet Tkacik still seem to be as willfully Executive Committee that would investigate the I must admit, though, that the cute labels do Coke, Sprite and Sprite Zero suck. But you already ignorant about sex and the Ivy allegations but made no guarantee that anything work. The few people who do buy these drinks tend knew that. League as ever, including, it seems, the Yale admin- would happen to Michael. to be my fellow female members of the human race. Junior Virginia Paulus is the Executive Editor. istration. Claire later called Michael to tell him she “felt And even then, Lime Coke seems to be the only Her views do not necessarily represent those of The Take the experience of my friend, whom Iʼll call violated” by his behavior; he was extremely apolo- consistently selling “new and improved” Coke that Flat Hat. “Claire,” a Barnard freshman who went to New getic. Haven to visit her ex-boyfriend, whom Iʼll call “I told him he probably shouldnʼt grab a girlʼs “Donald,” a Yale freshman. The weekend started neck if he doesnʼt know her that well,” she said. out like something Krinsky could write about. What bothered Claire most about the situa- Claire downed a few shots of apple Smirnoff, went tion, she says, is that Michael seemed so shocked out for dinner and then went home with a cutely by what had taken place — although he had been nerdy boy. She had met someone whom Iʼll call completely sober himself, he actually didnʼt seem “Michael” a few weeks before and they planned, to have much of a recollection of the night at all. this evening, to watch DVDs of old episodes of Additionally, Yale seemed so eager to shun her in “The Simpsons.” the aftermath. “I feel guilty because I did want to have sex with Trachtenbergs advice to Claire? “She said to him,” Claire told me. “Everything seemed really ʻlay lowʼ and ʻmake myself scarceʼ if I ever came to normal — cute, even. We were holding hands.” Yale again,” Claire said. Things only got weird when Michael grabbed This could seem like an isolated affair, but even her by the throat and bit her neck. students who slept through every single seminar Claire says that she meant to leave, but instead during freshman orientation know that sexual she “just froze.” Michael had sex with her and assault is common: one in four college-aged women Claire ran back to Donaldʼs room, still drunk, and are the victims of it. Nonetheless, it continues to sobbed. take place, and we continue to cover it up, look the Donald was furious at what had happened, and other way or act as though nothing ever happened. told his freshman counselor that Claire had been Are we completely delusional? raped. Claire couldnʼt get a rape kit at the student If “Chloe Does Yale” is any indication of how health center — only Yale students pay for it so America perceives collegiate sex, then we may well only Yale students may use it. The counselor looked be. up a hospital on the internet and took Claire, assur- So, a message to girls who have been date-raped: ing her the visit would be free. you may never be able to take that boy to court (or At the hospital Claire had a rape kit, which be successful once in court) or prevent him from entailed much probing, plucking of pubic hair and doing it again, but at least teach your daughter to repeating the nightʼs events to various doctors. value herself enough to try. Unfortunately, the hospital never took photos of Freshman Christina Tkacik is the Asst. Reviews Claireʼs bite-mark covered neck, and she had no Editor. Her views do not necessarily represent those evidence in the rape kit that Michael had assaulted of The Flat Hat. 6 OPINIONS ✦ APRIL 8, 2005 Help put end to sexual Letters to the Editor Students should enjoy time at the College Barksdale construction plans horrifying To the Editor: To the Editor: Curious to learn of the current goings-on at my I realize this comes very late (I have been out alma mater, I recently stole an online glance at last of the country), but as a longtime architectural violence on campus weekʼs edition of The Flat Hat. I read with great historian, I feel I should go on record as being hor- interest about the critical duties of the Student rified by the design of the new dormitories to be The school year is almost over. How I envy you social situation. If you feel at all uncomfortable Assembly Senate, whose members campaigned so built on Barksdale Field. all, full of promise and enthusiasm. Youʼve got in a situation, speak up. If a guy is worth it, he’ll ferociously for the honor of debating such crucial President Timothy J. Sullivan was done a seri- everything; youʼre young, bright, talented, energet- respond to a direct statement of your feelings and topics as whether water guns should be allowed ous disservice by the committee of architectural ic, driven, good-looking, you smell good, you can concerns. If he’s not, then congratulations — you on campus (sent back to committee) and what to advisors who approved the elevations. The draw- consume large quantities of got rid of a real jerk. do with an unallocated $512 (biblical analogies ings are a pastiche of the worst of modern design pizza and you donʼt yet have If, despite your best or worst efforts, you are ensued). I eagerly devoured a plea from a dis- combined with the most superficial Georgian to job-hunt. assaulted, please get help. gruntled smoker to ban frisbee golf from campus motifs, in a stated quest to bridge the gap between However, I have been The good news is, you are not alone, and you (evidently, players are inane assholes), tittered at the campusʼ modern buildings and its Georgian asked by the Rape Abuse & don’t have to go through it alone. People are out the sauciness of the “sex columnist” and marveled revival buildings. As a result, it does credit to nei- Incest National Network to there to help. Reach out to friends and mentors. at the secret society-inspired week-o-service (hint: ther. talk to you during Sexual Utilize on-campus services or contact the National acts of kindness are not random if theyʼre spon- Colonial Williamsburg is said to be on the Assault Awareness and Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE. The sored). ropes financially, yet it still had the clear vision to Prevention Month about some hotline provides free and confidential local services Perhaps the newsworthy events around campus employ British architect Quinlan Terry to design of the not-so-great parts of the around the clock. If someone you know is the vic- this past week are not representative of the normal a masterpiece at Confusion Corner. Surely, the Eden college experience. tim of a sexual assault, be supportive and encour- happenings in our fair citadel of tradition and aca- College should show an equal vision. Riegel Though no one likes to age her (or him) to get help. There are people out demia, but I feel I must make an observation. A Sullivan should go down in the record books as think about it, evil is out there willing and able to help. public service announcement, if you will: you all one of the all-time great presidents of the College there, and bad stuff happens. But if you are aware Finally, if you or a friend are the victim of a at the College have gotten awfully lame. for the courageous and far-sighted way he stands and vigilant in protecting yourself and your friends, sexual assault, don’t keep silent. Speak out, and Admittedly, when I roamed (stumbled) up to Richmondʼs budget-cutting shenanigans. I there is no reason that you canʼt have a safe and report the crime to police. If rape remains a silent the streets of Williamsburg not so long ago, am afraid, however, that he may be remembered as happy college experience. crime, victims will continue to suffer in silence, and avoiding the sneering badges of the Campus the one who foisted a dreadful piece of architec- Sexual assault and rape are quite common on perpetrators will remain free. The FBI ranks rape as Police Department, the Williamsburg Police ture on the community in a highly visible location. college campuses. Not every college student will the second most serious violent crime, trailing only Department, the Williamsburg/James City But it does not have to be that way. In a matter be assaulted, but statistics show that you will know murder. Yet, while nearly every murder is reported County Sheriffs Department and the Colonial of hours, I (at no charge) or some great architect someone who was. Overall, one in six American to police, less than half of all rapes are. The most Williamsburg Security Guards, the College like Terry (at a charge) could redraw the elevations women is the victim of an attempted or completed effective things we can do to fight sexual violence wasnʼt exactly a scene reminiscent of “Animal to do credit to the College without altering the rape. Eighty percent of rape victims are under the are to make sure that every attack is reported and to House” or even “Revenge of the Nerds.” interior spaces or adding to the construction costs. age of 30 at the time of their rape. You are in a demand that every report is investigated. However, I didnʼt think it could get much worse. It is easy to do it now but almost impossible to do high-risk group. Often there is a fear among victims that they It has. While I canʼt be sure, I feel, somehow, it after the dorm is built and everyone sees how So, what can you do? The good news is that will not be believed because alcohol or drugs were that popped collars and the Alcohol Task Force awful it is. How do you feel? while there are no hard and fast ways to protect involved, because they agreed to a date or because are partly to blame. If the elevations are redrawn to be attractive, yourself totally from rape and sexual assault, they agreed to be alone with their assailant. Some So, to those of you who have not yet been maybe we should consider naming the two parts there are steps you can take to reduce your risk victims fear social fallout. Some harbor feelings of rendered terminally lame by the idiocies of par- of the building after Dr. Lionel Wafer and Captain of becoming a victim. Take advantage of campus shame and responsibility, as if they were somehow liamentary procedure or permanently cantanker- Edward Davis, two pirates arrested in Virginia safety services and programs. Donʼt travel alone complicit in the crime. ous from your smoke breaks being interrupted by (they denied it, of course), whose loot, which was at night. Assess a situation fully. Communicate. It is not your fault. fellow students enjoying life, I exhort you: break “donated” to King William and Queen Mary as a Trust your instincts. Know that “I donʼt want to” is I’ll say it again because it is perhaps the world’s free from the shackles of your painfully white- plea bargain, was passed along to help found the always a good enough reason. The world tends not only moral absolute: it is not your fault. No is no is bread responsibilities. Have a beer. Have three. College in 1693. to be black-and-white. Thankfully, there are ways no, no matter what. Run around naked in the Sunken Gardens and may — John Fitzhugh Millar, ʼ81 to navigate the gray areas. You are a treasure, and you deserve the best the freshman 15 (or 30) be damned. Go to parties Williamsburg, Va. How do you know if you are at risk? You, like these years have to offer. So be safe, sensible and thrown by someone other than AlphaSigmaLamb all other living, breathing beings, have an internal informed. Know yourself, be a friend and speak daRhoTauEpsilon (boo on the Wal-Martification Editor-in-Chief Stephen Carley responds: “comfort meter” to help you assess a situation. If out. You can help end sexual violence on campus. of the frat scene). Climb trees and corner squir- Though I have only seen a few blueprints for you are uncomfortable, check in with your meter. Eden Riegel is a guest columnist for The rels. Wrestle in grits. Scare some tourists. Make the new dormitory and have no architectural expe- Ask yourself: who am I with? Do I trust these Flat Hat. She is currently on leave from Harvard out with random people. Debauch, damn you. You rience, I can see no harm in the College taking Mr. people? Am I really having fun? Am I drunk? Am I University and is the Daytime-Emmy Award-nominat- only have so long until you graduate, and trust me, Millar up on his offer. Anything to make the pro- thinking clearly? ed actress who plays Bianca Montgomery on ABCʼs for most of you, itʼs all downhill from there. posed building more pleasing to the eye is fine in Unfortunately, rapists do not wear signs and are “All My Children.” She is also a supporter of RAINN Make the most of it. my opinion; though nothing can replace Barksdale not always scary strangers in dark alleys. In fact, (www.rainn.org), which operates the National Sexual — Justin Andrews, ʼ03 itself, why compound the disgrace by putting an 66 percent of rape victims know their assailant, and Assault Hotline. Her views do not necessarily repre- Fairbanks, Alaska ugly building on top of it? an attack can happen in what is seemingly a normal sent those of The Flat Hat. April 8, 2005 Her name is Leah Man- Page 7 ners and she’s a “Keeper of the Revolution.” [email protected] VARIETY See THAT GIRL, page 9. The Meridian, not just your ordinary cafe

BY CHRISTINA TKACIK for coffee, tea and snacks finances the purchase of supplies. FLAT HAT ASST. REVIEWS EDITOR Prevost discovered the Meridian at the Activities Fair her freshman year at a stand attended to by some kids who were, she remembers, “just Ned Berg graduated from Johns Hopkins University in 1981, before different from the standard frat boy …. I think one of them was wearing most students at the College were born, and in his zippered leather a chain around his neck.” She gravitated, signed up, and has been there jacket he looks more like a contemporary — rather than modern-day ever since. imitator — of the late Joey Ramone. Now an industrial hygenist, Berg Sophomore Erin Crowder shares Prevostʼs adoration of the Meridian. describes his own college experience as limiting and “too molecular,” She is the secretary and supplies manager for the coffeehouse, which she but he fits right in at the Meridian, the Collegeʼs student-run coffee shop- calls “a tiny pocket of cool people.” turned-neighborhood-institution. Yeah, heʼs weird and But not everyone at the Meridian is “cool.” sometimes invites girls to party on his yacht, but, the “Iʼm not very alternative and I love it,” Katie staff assures heʼs harmless and brings booze to a lot Jenkins, a curly-haired freshman, pronounces in a of their parties. And Berg, like everyone, “deserves a perky Southern twang. Freshman Cait Smith, wearing place to be,” said senior Lauretta Prevost, the Meridianʼs Chuck Taylors and dark-rimmed glasses, adds that she unassumingly spritely general manager. is grateful simply for “a substance-free zone” where she In describing the role of the two year-old coffeehouse and her friends can enjoy playing speed Scrabble a few where she has worked for free for four years, Prevost cites nights a week. Ernest Hemingwayʼs “A Clean, Well-Lighted Place.” “Whatever you do, just please donʼt call it ʻthe haven While the Meridian itself is neither clean nor well-lit, she for straight-edgesʼ or anything. Iʼm so sick of hearing said, it resembles the sort of café that Hemingway loved that,” Crowder rants at her goth-themed birthday party, — a place of dignity in a setting of nothingness and outlet malls, where waving a shot glass. Her blue hair is in a perfectly-coiffed Mohawk, and anyone can feel welcome. She and the entire Meridian staff are devoted to sheʼs wearing a patent leather bustier — it seems that itʼs been a while this beacon of free expression and work vigilantly to maintain it; their only since anyone has mistaken her for a straight-edge. compensation is free coffee, tea and the pride in their hearts. The building See MERIDIAN ✦ page 8 is College-owned, so rent and repairs are free; the $.50 that customers pay ALLIE VEINOTE✦ THE FLAT HAT Muscarelle’s show inspired by ‘African Animals’

BY MAX FISHER and animal hair and fur. According to museum curator FLAT HAT ASST. VARIETY EDITOR Ann Madonia, the cowry shells that adorn the masks are quite rare and are a traditional symbol of wealth. One The Muscarelle Museum of Art has just opened a notable mask from the Baga Nalu society in Guinea new exhibition called “Animals in African Art.” The is almost five ft. in length and has crocodile, antelope, pieces consist mainly of ceremonial masks but also heron and chameleon features. The mask is covered include weapons, drums, ivory works and even a full- in natural paints and is accentuated by a skirt of raffia body costume. grass. The objects come from 15 different countries in A village power figure from the Songye society in the the equatorial region of Africa, and all share stylistic Democratic Republic of Congo is especially adorned. elements inspired by animals. The exhibition will This three-ft. wooden sculpture of a man sports a cow LAUREN BRYANT✦ THE FLAT HAT remain open until May 29. Wallace Gusler, whose horn on his head, a goat horn on his chest and a skirt Students rehearse for “The Madwoman of Chaillot,” the Theatre Deparmentʼs last production for the season. collection comprises the display, will give a free talk (which you will not find at the outlet mall) made from a at the museum April 14 at 5:30 p.m. Docent tours are combination of snake and cat skins. The museumʼs wall available every Sunday at 2 p.m. placard informs visitors that animal ‘Mad’ eccentricity, plenty of The first thing one notices about the parts are often included works displayed, which were all on sculptures and are crafted in ancient cultural tradition traditionally thought to appeal in ‘woman of Chaillot’ for ceremonial use, is the range imbue the sculpture of exotic materials that with magical powers. BY GRETCHEN HANNES overhears their plot. After meeting with an assortment of comprise them. The Sculptures with THE FLAT HAT other characters, including a few other madwomen, she masks, which intact animal parts decides that all the evil people of the world, like the men are a mix of the are rare because of Need to escape from reality for a couple of hours? in the café, must be stopped once and for all. facial features of both the extreme Check out the Theatre Departmentʼs latest production, Sophomore Jacqueline Ross plays the role of humans and one rate at which the Jean Giraudouxʼs “The Madwoman of Chaillot,” a care- Countess Aurelia. or more animals, parts decay and the free and wacky play that promises to pull the audience Countess Aurelia is “eccentric and sort of clueless,” are constructed African custom of into a world full of quirky characters who just want to Ross said. “But you still love her anyway despite all her from thick, discarding the animal parts make the world a happy place. craziness. She lives in her own world, and sheʼs not a heavy wood and as a way to retire a sculptureʼs The play takes place in the Chaillot district of Paris. realistic character.” are decorated with magical power. A president, a baron, a broker, and a prospector meet The Madwoman believes that the world is a happy feathers, copper, Another oft-used material is ivory. in a café to discuss their plans to begin drilling the oil place and that her purpose in life is to bring joy to ram horns, glass that lies beneath the streets of Paris. Countess Aurelia, See 'ANIMALS' ✦ page 8 See 'MAD' ✦ page 8 beads, cowry shells the owner of the café (and the Madwoman of Chaillot) Resume tweakings, slave labor: en vogue this summer One of the most important things a college for every possible outfit combination). The do, though, be sure to explain how youʼre a students spend their time not learning to student can do is pick the right way to spend real question should be: how can I make multitasker since you can order pizza from blend in but sticking out like a sore thumb the summer. Unless you spend a summer the summer I plan on wasting sound like a Papa Johnʼs at the same time. as stupid, drunk, loud Americans wandering as personal assistant to the president of the valuable learning experience? For those whose studies are too intense the street speaking only in English (or very United States and have saved the world at The true mark of a successful person is to allow for a semester abroad, summer is slowly in English if someone insists they CONFUSION least once, you can count on spending the not in what a resume says about her or him, the perfect opportunity to make up for that donʼt know the language) and commenting CORNER rest of your days peeling shrimp for green but rather how that resume is stacked to put time spent in America. In the modern world, on how everything is so different from back and gold-clad elderly guests at the 50-year the best face on oneʼs experience (warning: being familiar with your society is considered home in Ohio. College reunion, paid whatever chump if you intend to go into a less lucrative a liability. It is essential for every American Another popular summer option is the change the Alumni House dishes out. Real- but more idealistic field, this is called student to travel outside the country so they ever-important internship. The internship is world experience doing things completely “deceitfulness” and will only be acceptable can bombard everyone around them with a clever scheme invented by employers to different from the day-to-day real world in if the deceit depicts a higher level of concern stories about “when I was in … ” and look get free labor. They take college students which you will eventually live in has become for orphaned baby lion cubs and seals or down their nose at everything American. and convince them that having experience a must for all college grads. something that makes a good Mead folder). Companies find this skill valuable because working will help them get a higher paying Undergraduates are probably wondering For example, instead of wasting all those they somehow think it makes for a better job later but that they donʼt have the skills to about some good choices for ways to spend hours that were spent playing Halo 2 in employee. I cannot even make up a funny get a job now. Sherman the summer that will prove most valuable your darkened basement, make sure to put reason why this is true. So they offer them a job for little to no Patrick in a truly important way — that is, one that something on your resume about being a The serious reason is something about money and get overzealous labor all summer. can be converted to lucrative rivers of cash “crisis management specialist.” Chances how it teaches students how to work and But, like all good conspiracies, everyoneʼs able to drown any sadness, fill any emotional are they wonʼt take the time in the interview live with a different culture, but obviously in on this one, so you might as well mutter hole and buy all the things a person really to find out that saving earth from invading whoever thinks this either never studied See SUMMER ✦ page 9 needs (like a full assortment of Prada purses aliens is not a transferable skill. If they abroad or “studied” too hard abroad. Most Variety UN 8 F VARIETY ✦ APRIL 8, 2005

Variety Saturday Sunday Monday ✦ WCWM will be presenting a free, triple-bill ✦ Senior Anna To will perform a solo piano ✦ PBK will be hosting a free lecture by visiting Calendar concert in the Tidewater room at the UC. Noise recital in the Ewell Recital Hall at 4 p.m. To will scholar Wojciech H. Zurek. The lecture is 4 to 5 p.m. improvisation group Cloeburner and Norwegian perform, in addition to others, Chopinʼs Nocturne in Small 113 and will be followed by a reception. indie icons St. Thomas will be opening. Self in C# Minor, Brahmsʼ Intermezzo in A Major and Zurek, from the Los Alamos National Laboratory, April 9 - April 15 declared “pop champions” Of Montreal are head- Mendelssohnʼs The Adieu. She does not plan on will be speaking on probabilities in physics. Non- lining. Doors open at 10 p.m. Donʼt miss it. playing Boogie Woogie, but it canʼt hurt to ask. math/science majors should probably sit this one out. — compiled by max fisher Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday ✦ The Collegeʼs remarkably talented jazz ensemble ✦ Renowned anthropologist Patricia Wright will ✦ The Muscarelle Museum of Art will be hosting a ✦ This marks the final night that the Kimball Theatre will be performing at the Kimball Theatre at 8 p.m. be giving a talk about her work in the preservation talk by Wallace Gusler 5:30 to 7 p.m. in Lamberson will be showing “Born Into Brothels,” an Oscar Stephanie Nakasian, acclaimed jazz vocalist and of Madagascarʼs rainforests. The talk is free and Hall at the Muscarelle. Gusler will discuss the nominated documentary about the children prositutes College faculty member, will be featured in this open to the public and is in Room 20 of McGlothlin museumʼs newest exhibition, “Animals in African of Calcutta. It is not reccomended for children under tribute to jazz big band singers. Tickets are general Street Hall at 7:30 p.m. Wright is a professor at Art,” which comes from his collection. The talk is 18 or people who enjoy smiling. Shows will be held admission $7 and $5 for seniors and students. Stony Brook University in New York. free and open to the public. in the screening room at 6:45 and 8:45 p.m.

To have an event printed in the Variety Calendar, send mail to [email protected] or call x3281 before 5 p.m. Tuesday. Horoscopes

Taurus: April 20 - May 20 Scorpio: Oct. 23 - Nov. 21 Letʼs face it: youʼre a bit of a slut. But JPII has passed and weʼre all very sad, you can turn it to your advantage. E-mail but itʼs time to move on. The Cardinals [email protected] and ask about writing have chozen a new pope: Surprise, itʼs the sex column. Fame awaits you ... you. RAGE IT VATICAN STYLE.

Gemini: May 21 - June 21 Sagittarius: Nov. 22 -Dec. 21 Listen up, you classless hick: that pile Being cultured means more than watch- of rags you call a wardrobe is embarass- ing “Cops” reruns or getting stoned and ing. You probably donʼt even know how listening to Phish. Spend some time at to sail. Now get me a dry martini. the Muscarelle this week . . . sober.

Cancer: June 22 - July 22 Capricorn: Dec. 22 - Jan. 19 Fun times await at a palʼs sorority bash, The marathon of debauchery that is but be sure to clean up any “flour” that your life is getting out of hand. Try gets smeared on your jacket: everyone going 12 hours without cannonballing; knows sorority girls donʼt bake anway. you might enjoy coherency.

Leo: July 23 - Aug. 22 Aquarius: Jan. 20 - Feb. 18 Yes, itʼs nice and warm outside. No, Swem is a fun place and all but you you donʼt look good in skimpy cloth- need to give it a rest. Hit up the Leafe Knowing Jack By Mika G. Shannon ing. Keep your shirt on or have campus and order some fancy imports you canʼt security mistake you for a talking bear. pronounce. Consider it foreign studies. collection are made in centuries- example, is made of woven elephant ‘ANIMALS’ old traditional styles, almost none hair, shells and an assortment of Virgo: Aug. 23 - Sept. 22 Pisces: Feb. 19 - March 20 FROM PAGE 7 of them are more than 70 years common clothing buttons. Thereʼs a reason you balckout every To the extreme you rock a mic like old. This is due to the nature of the This mix of materials — two time you go to the frat house. Those red a vandal. Light up a stage and wax a The elephant tusk can be made materials used to make the masks found in nature and one found at Solo cups have more than just warm chump like a candle. Pisces, Pisces into a trumpet or the ivory can and other objects: primarily wood. your local Old Navy — provide a Natty in them, if you catch our drift. baby. be carved into handles and sheaths Because of the wet, hot climate humorous if jarring reminder as to for ceremonial weapons. madonia of equatorial Africa, wood decays just how recent most of these works Libra: Sept. 23 - Oct. 22 Aries: March 21 - April 19 explains that ivory is a status rapidly and can crack when are. Frat brothers, remember: each time you We donʼt like morning classses either, symbol and is usually owned only moved to a drier One wooden drum on make a pledge chug something, an angel but if you keep sleeping in, youʼre going by royalty, who may have used climate such as display is thought gets itʼs wings. Get belligerent and see if to miss something important. Wait, no an ivory trumpet to that found in by Madonia to be you can make God a new choir. youʼre not. Screw class and get rest. announce their arrival. influenced by the compiled by max fisher All ceremonial oppression in the weapons are made region by Dutch with a common colonists. Like and tinfoil figurines on a worn piano. Local artist reptilian theme. This most drums, this MERIDIAN Jim Carmines, beret on head, plays chess with a may be as simple as an one includes a man FROM PAGE 7 student. Carmines never went to college but has etching of a chameleon carved into the side, been coming to the Meridian for ten years; his work on the handle or as but it is unusual in Crowder said that the Meridian culture was even adorns the walls and his mix Cd is in the stereo as complex as a knife that his figure is not more avant-garde when she first started coming two proof of his seniority. He shows me his favorite blade designed to look stretched as is common years ago. Like any frat in need of a steady influx piece, entitled “Starry Café,” portraying a few dozen like the open jaws of a Virginia. Materials in African art but is rather of new recruits, members have been forced to lower famous artists sitting in a fantasy coffeehouse. Heʼs crocodile. One knife encased in a from animals — fur, skin, compressed and given an unhappy the barriers to entry a bit. always had a thing for coffeehouses. sheath is little more than a baby horns and so on — deteriorate even facial expression. “I miss the old punk rock crowd,” Crowder said, “You should be really nice to Lauretta and Erin,” crocodile with its legs removed. faster. The exhibition is supplemented “But the hipsters are alright, and Iʼd rather deal with my roommate tells me. “That Saturday when you As all of the masks are While the newness of the works with ambient music selected from scenester freshmen and listen to [their] obnoxious threw up they helped you to the couch and brought ceremonial; the ceremony itself plays does not make them any less Ewellʼs music library to enhance the music than to bury the one redeeming aspect of the you a blanket.” an important role in understanding legitimately traditional, some bits experience. The music, from Ghana, social milieu here.” She is referring to a party two weeks ago, the works shown at the Muscarelle. of modernity do creep in. A hat from includes traditional African drums Jacob Dreyer, a freshman staffer wearing of which I remember little, except for collapsing Though the pieces in this the Lega society in the Congo, for and the xylophone. eyeshadow and a button-down shirt on which he face-down on the kitchen floor. I woke up the next scrawled “Iʼm dying” in Sharpie (homage to the morning in a daze on a nearby sofa. I didnʼt think what was coming. For [“Madwoman”], I had no idea partyʼs goth theme) explains the survivalist outlook I met either Prevost or Crowder before interviewing ‘MAD’ what the show was going to be like.” of Meridian devotees. “Most just miss the scene them for this story, but apparently they already knew FROM PAGE 7 “A lot of previous shows tended to be catered either they had at home,” he said. They are unified by a who I was. more towards the residents of Williamsburg or more “shared desire to produce culture alternative to the “What? They were the ones who helped me?” I everyone. towards the students who want to see something new predominating douche bag culture [of the College].” ask. The rest of the characters are just as eccentric as the and different,” Sherrier said, “ʻMadwomanʼ should have Prevost hesitantly agrees, although she insists that “Yeah, they were like ʻawww, weʼve all been Madwoman. The president is played by Kyle Ferguson, no trouble appealing to both groups.” “popped-collars” would be welcome and that I really there.ʼ They were really nice about it.” who assistant director senior Dan Sherrier said “manages “Madwoman” is also unique in that it is appropriate shouldnʼt listen to a word Jacob says. “Oh, wow.” to be sleazy and exuberant at the same time.” for all ages. Especially on a college campus, everyone The weekly Meridian staff meeting takes place Neither of them mentioned this once, yet they Freshman Josh Garstka plays the baron. The other feels like they have to push the envelope and usually on the shabby front porch, and the 10 or so kids in invited me to Crowderʼs party and into the Meridian three madwomen are junior Jessica Skinner and seniors that comes in the form of sex, violence, drugs, sexual attendance are indeed a varied lot. Theyʼre sporting knowing that it was possible — if not likely — that Charlene Smith and Katherine Eatinger. orientation, etc. This is different in that you could bring trucker caps, dreadlocks, Jewfros, emo glasses — I would puke on the floor and need help getting “We all have our own different quirks; we all live in your five-year-old,” Kooker said. uniform only in the blue W&M coffee mugs cupped to the couch. (Because sloppy drunks also need “a different time periods and itʼs wonderfully fabulous,” “Madwoman” is a “clean” play with, according to in their hands. Prevost, Crowder and Meridian Art place to be” — from 7 p.m. to midnight, seven days said Ross. Ross, “good-old fashioned family fun” that anyone can Director Alison Hancock review the agenda. a week.) Junior Roz Kooker plays the waitress Irma, one enjoy. First up, job nominations. After thatʼs done, the For Hemingway, a bar would not suffice; for of the very few normal people in the whole show. The play provides a nice break from reality because next issue the group discuss is whether or not to Prevost, neither does frat row. “[Kooker] manages to play the straight one while itʼs not meant to be taken seriously. It does not attempt invite outsiders to the upcoming cotillion — a mini- Prevost described the clientele to me in an e-mail: remaining interesting,” Sherrier said. to force a deeper meaning on the audience but rather lets prom for the Meridian staff. Someone brings up “There are weird, creative, quiet, obnoxious, older, “The Madwoman of Chaillot” is unlike any of the other people take from it whatever they want. “I think you last yearʼs cotillion, when some Sig Pi kids showed gay, bi, bored, hyper, normal, musically talented, three mainstage shows put on by the Theatre Department can get all sorts of things from it,” Kooker said. “A lot up and stole a bunch of stuff from the Griffin Street profoundly confused, intriguingly intelligent and this year. With the other shows — the musical “Batboy,” of people will think, ʻwell, that was funny,ʼ and thatʼs house where the dance took place. Not to mention tragically introspective people there, be they LCST the Shakesperean comedy “The Merchant of Venice” perfect.” that last night someone stole the Ketel One that Ned humanity majors or hard science lovers,” she said. and the less conventional play “Alchemy of Desire/Dead “Madwoman” premieres April 21, with shows at 8 brought to Erinʼs party. Conclusion: they really need The Meridian has had many reputations, she said, Manʼs Blues” — Kooker said that “you kind of knew p.m. from April 21 to 23 and 2 p.m. on April 24. to be more careful with the invitations this year. including haven for English majors, hippies, goth Two of the four Meridian occupants on a Sunday kids and mean kids. night are wearing berets. The place looks and smells “At the moment,” she said, “I think the Meridian BECAUSE IT’S THE SPICE OF LIFE. LOVE VARIETY. WRITE FOR US. like one might imagine the 70s did: warmly musty, is quite welcoming and a bit of a smorgasbord, to use with kitschy lamps, moldy sofas, an Elvis painting the word smorgasbord.” VARIETY ✦ APRIL 8 , 2005 9 Balls: lick ’em, love ’em

So, I donʼt know about you all, but my brain needs a break. Itʼs exhausted from writing essays with coherent That Girl: themes and organizing information into legitimate categories. So, to give my brain — and hopefully yours too — a break, Iʼve managed Leah Manners BEHIND to write an ADD approved sex CLOSED column. Random thoughts, good tips and very little overarching BY TEGAN NEUSTATTER Iʼm a DJ. Iʼve been DJing at the station for four DOORS structure are all I could manage FLAT HAT STAFF WRITER years. For me there really isnʼt anything on campus this week, so enjoy. that caught my interest as much. I love music, and To begin the randomness, Iʼd Iʼm no music aficionado, so when I was assigned the station is nice because you can basically go in like to talk about balls. Yes, Leah Manners, the station manager of the Collegeʼs there and do whatever you want. testicles, the oft-forgotten or even campus radio station, I was a little worried that she How about singing or playing an instrument? purposely-ignored genitalia. So, would grill me for the name of every song on the Oh, God, no. Iʼm more of an appreciator. a little advice to all the ladies out Top 40 Countdown. Thankfully, Leah is very cool So besides music, music and more music, do you there who like to pretend that the and didnʼt. Instead, she dazzled me with her wit and do any other clubs or activities here on campus? scrotum is invisible (you know her passion to let others enjoy music as much as she The radio station is my main tie to the school. who you are), allow me to warn does. Her interest in music takes many forms: she is Iʼm profoundly uninvolved in school, although I do Kate you that you ignore the balls at at first, but donʼt give up. Itʼs completely natural to a talk show host, DJ and a Keeper of the Revolution. live in a dorm. Prengaman your peril. They might be a little feel like you have to pee, but you wonʼt. Instead, Read on to find out how she has unlocked some of I saw another WCWM poster about being an weird looking at first, but they sustained pressure (maybe along with some clitoral the secrets about good music on campus. “Official Keeper of the Revolution.” What is that are just so useful. If youʼre looking to get a guy off, a stimulation thatʼs ideal in a from-behind position) can Youʼre the head honcho of WCWM, the Collegeʼs about? little interaction with the balls really helps. Hold them, lead to a really powerful, deep orgasm. Apparently, the radio station. What is involved in running the Itʼs a power awarded to pretty much anyone who squeeze them (gently-ish), lick them, suck on them; the G-spot can even ejaculate slightly during this orgasm, station? works at the radio station because we think music is list of options is really endless. which may play a role in the unnerving “ahh, I have Basically, Iʼm the liaison between the station and the key to every campus. The only way you can find Obviously, it helps to ask him what he likes, or just to pee” sensation that discourages many beginners. the administration. Itʼs pretty much hands-off, but I yourself is in the music. Basically weʼre fighting, gauge how well youʼre doing by the heaving breathing In conclusion, if you donʼt give up, the G-spot could control everything. Itʼs a power position. fighting for the right to party. or little moaning noises heʼs making. Usually though, become your new best friend. So you decide what programs are run and what What are your plans after graduation? Is Casey you canʼt go wrong by touching them. So, get yourself Thirdly, Iʼd like to discuss a sex tip that was songs are played? Kasem going to have to watch out for his job? some balls (metaphorically speaking) and touch the mentioned in my environmental science reading. The People have a lot of leeway in terms of what they Iʼm thinking about training to become a locksmith. balls (literally this time); youʼll both like it. Also, I feel 18th-century thinker you might remember from such can play. They do have to clear their show with us, I think it will open a lot of doors for me. Itʼs a great that this just needs to be said: if you roll them around, class lectures as “exponential population growth” and but basically they can play whatever you want. profession because you go places and break into itʼs a lot like those cool Chinese stress balls. Thatʼs “human carrying capacity,” Thomas Malthus, had a Whatʼs it like to know you have total control over things and people pay you. really pretty amazing, and I know that most people few thoughts on two of my favorite topics: food and an entire radio station? Iʼve never met anyone before who wants to be a around this campus need to de-stress just a tad, so this sex. He actually based all of his work on the basic ideas Iʼm drunk with power. I go home and sit and locksmith. What classes does one take to become could be a great place to start. that “food is necessary for the existence of man” and think about how much I can control people. I donʼt a locksmith? Now, moving on from the interesting yet neglected “the passion between the sexes is necessary and will actually do anything with [my power], but itʼs fun Well, what else can you do with a liberal arts parts of the male anatomy to the female anatomyʼs remain.” So there you have it, if you didnʼt already to think about. education? Iʼm actually a government and Hispanic long lost friend, the G spot. Yes, everyoneʼs heard of it know, food and sex are the most vital human activities, If I were to turn on the radio right now, what studies major, but I feel like what you learn here (I certainly hope so, anyway), but not everyone takes and more importantly, are sometimes even better when would I hear? doesnʼt have any basis in the real world. advantage of it. Itʼs not as difficult and mysterious as it combined. We have tons of new Indie and independent What music would you like to see brought to seems. To begin with, you need to locate the sensitive Eating is very sensual. It uses our lips and tongues, music that we play. Other than that, we have jazz campus? region. Itʼs approximately 2 to 3 inches into the vagina, stimulates our senses and feels good. Sound like shows, heavy metal shows, hip-hop shows. We have Iʼd like to see more hip-hop on campus. The on the top wall, and you can find it with your fingers anything else familiar? So, combining food with sex this great radio drama show like those from the 20s Roots is actually a great first step to that. Also, I by noting the change in texture from smooth vaginal can be great fun. Go out to dinner, and come home and 40s. And we have a Texas uprising show. would like to see people be interested in the acts muscle to slightly spongy G-spot tissue. Itʼs easier to for dessert. Lick whipped cream or body chocolate I noticed a poster hanging up in the UC that has that are brought to campus. We brought Paik, an find when aroused, because it gets larger when youʼre off your partner. Or, get more creative; one friend the schedule for the station. You have your own awesome metal-core group, out of Detroit last in a good mood. recommended mangos, and Iʼve heard rumors about show, “Just Say Yes.” semester, but we didnʼt get a very good showing. Once youʼve found it, to really make it happy, french fries. Seriously. A few warnings though: honey Yeah, thatʼs my show. “Just Say Yes” is kind of a Itʼs hard to figure out why people donʼt want to you need to apply some pressure. A sex toy with a is dangerously sticky and should be avoided, and donʼt takeoff on the drug war and Nelly Smithʼs song. We experience new music. curved tip can be a great way to stimulate the G-spot, insert anything into the vagina, like grapes, that you want people to “just say yes” to music. And lastly, one of those wonderful multi-choice although fingers, and even a penis, can work well too. wouldnʼt be able to get back out. It might not be exactly You manage the station, you have a talk show— questions: The Beatles, The White Stripes or The Experiment a little, stroking the area from top to bottom, what Malthus had in mind when he talked about the do you do anything else that would make you a East Side Boyz? side to side in a circular motion. During intercourse, power of food and sex, but it sure is good. triple threat? I would choose … Run DMC. doggie-style positions and woman on top positions are Kate Prengaman is the Flat-Hat sex columnist. best for G-spot arousal. The sensation may be strange Sheʼs mastered the art of playing with marbles.

with this summer, donʼt forget that it is just VARIETY. VARIETY. VARIETY. VARIETY. BRAINSWASHED YET? SUMMER padding, the workplace equivalent of stuffing FROM PAGE 7 a bra. Enjoy fantasizing about your dream job, but remember that lifeguard you scoff at actually grumpily to yourself while you answer phones knows CPR and can save lives. And heʼs got a for $6 an hour and stick it on your resume. The much better tan. advantage? They probably have a computer that Sherman Patrick is The Flat Hatʼs Confusion you can use to chat on AIM. Corner columnist. The only reason heʼs so cynical But whatever you choose to pad your resume about summer activities is because he canʼt tan.

INTERESTED ?

VARIETY IS LOOKING FOR A NEW CONFUSION CORNER COLUMNIST.

COME TO OUR WRITERS MEETING, SUNDAY AT 5:30 P.M. IN THE CAMPUS CENTER BASEMENT. April 8, 2005 Page 10 [email protected] BRIEFS March of Head Start Pointe Blank Presidentʼs Carnival for Relaxation Dimes Head Start is hosting a festival Pointe Blank Dance Companyʼs Office Hours Kids Sessions at the Historic Triangle Center Spring 2005 Show will be held March of Dimes will take place on Waller Mill Road April 13 April 10. Performances are at 3 President Timothy J. Sullivan has The College Partnership for Kids Group relaxation sessions are on campus April 16. Sign up to from 10 a.m. to noon. Seeking p.m. and 7:30 p.m. in the University reserved office hours for students is sponsoring a carnival April 23 open to all students and include participate in this yearʼs walk to five to 15 volunteers to help with Center Commonwealth Auditorium. to discuss issues of concern or just for students who have volunteered deep breathing, progressive help support research for prema- childrenʼs activities. Contact Erin Admission is $4. Tickets are on sale to chat. Individuals or small groups as tutors. The carnival will include relaxation, autogenic training for ture babies. Contact adstel@wm. Culpepper at echsec@widomaker. in the UC and will also be sold at may reserve 10-minute sessions field events and games. Contact stress reduction and guided imag- edu. com if interested. the door. which run from 4 to 5 p.m. April 14. Lindsay Coleman at ltcole@wm. ery exercises. All sessions are 30 Contact Carla Jordan at cajord@wm. edu for more information or to sign minutes and are experiential in edu or x1254 to sign up. up to help with the event. nature. Sessions meet in Blow Hall 240 and are facilitated by Felicia Brown-Anderson, who can Boathouse Diversity be contacted at [email protected]. Sessions are every Wednesday at The Lake Matoaka Boathouse is Meeting 1:15 p.m. now open. Canoes and kayaks are available for rent with your student The Counseling Center and the ID. Alcohol, fishing and swimming Office of Multicultural Affairs are Guided are not permitted, and the boathouse co-sponsoring an open discussion will close for inclement weather on campus diversity issues. All stu- Outdoor Trips without notice. Spring hours of dents, faculty and staff are invited. operation are Monday, Wednesday The meeting will be held April 13 at The Student Recreation Center and Friday from 3 to 5 p.m. and 7 p.m. in the third floor Blow Hall Outdoor Recreation Board is host- weekends from 2 to 5 p.m. dining room. Call 221-3620 with ing three guided overnight, out- questions. door trips this spring. The prices include transportation, equip- 4-H Contest ment, food and necessary permits. Ushers A Roanoke River, N.C. canoeing Judges are needed for an April trip will be offered to six partici- 9 4-H competition at Charles City Ushers are needed for this springʼs pants April 9 and 10 and will cost High School. Contact Ellen Powell commencement ceremony. Ushers $20. A rock-climbing trip to Old at 565-2170, or [email protected] for will be needed May 15. Contact Rag, Va. will be offered to eight more information. [email protected] for information. participants April 16 and 17 and will cost $10. A backpacking trip will go to False Cape State Park near Virginia Beach, Va. April 23 and 24. The trip will cost $10 and will be offered to seven partici- pants. All trips will be led by trip leaders certified in Wilderness First Aid and CPR. The trips are open to all levels of experience. Contact Greg Henderson, assis- tant director of recreational sports at [email protected] or 221-3499 if interested.

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BY JONATHAN BRAVERMAN of established actors and rising stars, it is the THE FLAT HAT character portrayed by a so-called washed- up actor who delivers the best performance. “Sin City” is the visually stunning new fi lm Mickey Rourke as Marv stands out not only from Robert Rodriguez based on Frank Millerʼs for his physical appearance and the violence graphic novels. While making this movie must he perpetrates (no small feat in this movie), but have been extremely diffi cult, watching it is no also for the sensitivity he displays in between easy task either. I do not mean to suggest that moments of torturing those who cross him. I disliked this movie, but it throws so much at Seeing Mickey Rourke in this fi lm was like a the audience in terms of characters, scantily blast from the past. I do not believe he has gotten clad women, special affects, sub plots and this much screen time in a major motion picture violence, that you may leave the theater feeling since “9 1/2 Weeks.” The biggest surprise of overwhelmed. the fi lm, however, was Elijah Wood, playing a When it comes to pure brutality, this fi lm sort of anti-Frodo, whoʼs character is a mix of has enough to make Uma Thurmanʼs character Gollum and Freddy Krueger. from the “Kill Bill” movies feel a bit queasy. The dialog in “Sin City” refl ects its bold and But if you can handle all that, you may be able gritty nature but comes off as forced at times. to experience a movie based on a graphic novel The fi lm has moments of misogynistic language that lives up to its hype (I still shudder to think and actions that make some of the early James of the $8 I wasted on the train wreck that was Bond fi lms look like they were written by a “Hell Boy.”) feminist. A large part of the fi lm — perhaps too “Sin City” is one of the fi rst movies shot much — is told through narration by various completely against a green screen, which characters. This fi lm drags on, running well allows for such a realistic dreary atmosphere, over two hours, contributing to the audienceʼs youʼd swear you were in the graphic novels sense of exhaustion by the end. Despite these themselves. The characters can be as dark as drawbacks, this fi lm excels in far more aspects. the environment, ranging from Nick Stahlʼs Rodriguezʼs decision to shoot the fi lm in deformed pedophile to Bruce Willisʼ retired cop black and white with only select objects in who is willing to put everything on the line to color for effect was risky, but he pulls it off do the right thing. Willis aside, no one in “Sin masterfully. The acting in general is strong, City” is completely innocent. (No surprises although overshadowed by the visuals, and there.) performances by Clive Owen and Benicio Del Out of a fi lm that boasts an impressive list Toro stand out and testify to their talent.

MEET THE SEXY STARS JESSICA ALBA CLIVE OWEN DEVON AOKI OF “SIN CITY” REFUSED TO GET THIS SEXY IMPORT THIS EURASIAN HOT, YOUNG AND SINFULLY NAKED FOR THE SHOULD HAVE BEEN MODEL/ACTRESS BE- SEXY. AND NOW, A FEW FILM! “BEING NUDE THE NEXT JAMES CAME THE APPRENTICE THINGS YOU DIDN’T KNOW ...WOULD HAVE BEEN BOND, BUT LOST THE OF KATE MOSS AT DISTRACTING. MY ROLE TO LESS AGE 14! SHE ALSO THAT YOU DIDN’T KNOW... DAD WOULD DISOWN ATTRACTIVE FELLOW USED TO DATE LENNY ME OR SOMETHING !” BRIT DANIEL CRAIG! KRAVITZ!

Edgy new genre thrills Of Montreal baffl es, inspires BY CHRISTINA TKACIK hip-hop was about heart, skill and Public Enemy. FLAT HAT ASST. REVIEWS EDITOR For the uninitiated, grime is the newer, grittier BY JOE RIIPPI any of those bands. Rather, they bear similarities face of British hip-hop; also known as “eski” and FLAT HAT STAFF WRITER to artists on a higher shelf in the bookcase. Welcome to the modern age of music. Weʼre tired “eightbar,” it is the music of garage-underground Oh, and by the way, two things about Kevin of suburban angst, urban balla-dom and everything MCs who mix with Sony Playstations and promote Of Montreal is one of those bands that was Barnes: First, the band is named Of Montreal in between; indie rockers and p-i-m-pʼs alike should themselves on weblogs. Old school by necessity, they birthed by either the sublimely-insane or the because he went through a terrible break-up with retire and open restaurants in California. We want have weekly battles in cramped bars and rhyme about sublimely-brilliant mind of one person. Enter a girl from Montreal. Thus, the band name is a musicians with hunger in their voices and street ghetto life with scrappy, angry voices. “Run the Road” Kevin Barnes, insane, brilliant or just a cool tribute to her … the bitch. And secondly, the dude cred, preferably from the streets of other countries. features 16 tracks of various grime artists with more dude. loves The Beatles and The Beach Boys. Reggae, rap and 80s infl uences would be a plus. attitude and energy than DMX on Crunk juice; they are Last yearʼs “Satanic Panic in the Attic,” the Okay, so I made up number two. I am just Maybe something good for mostly unknowns, with a few bandʼs fi rst full-length guessing. But if you dancing. We want this music, big names (Dizzee Rascal, release on Polyvinyl listen to “Satanic Panic” and we will get it from the The Streets) and one next- Records, brought Of or “Sunlandic Twins,” internet if we must. big-thing (Lady Sovereign). Montreal out of the there is absolutely no Someone in a chatroom Some samples are harsh and shadowy corners of denying the infl uence of near Birmingham heard our intimidating, such as “Cock indie rock/pop. April “Sgt. Pepperʼs” and “Pet demands and posted some Back V1.2,” in which Terror 12, Barnes and Co. will Sounds.” Yes, I know Rio baile funk bootlegs and Danjah raps against a track release “The Sunlandic those are probably two UK garage music in response. of a gun loading and fi ring: Twins,” a record as catchy, of the greatest records This month, record labels “Donʼt try fi gurinʼ me out/ bewildering, colorful and of all time, way up on got in on the action; Vice Digginʼ me out/ Ya just get enigmatically diffi cult to the bookshelf of great Records brought us “Run the kicked in the mouth.” Other pin down with a specifi c art, and by no means Road,” a grime compilation, songs are cleverly sardonic; description as “Satanic do I want to say that and XL/ Beggars Banquet on “Cap Back,” Wonder Panic” was, and still is. either “Satanic Panic” released “Arular,” the fi rst COURTESY PHOTO ✦ XL/Beggars US and Plan B chastise sellouts But itʼs a good COURTESY PHOTO ✦ Polyvinyl Records or “Sunlandic Twins” commercially available album while admitting that they idea to give the band are up to par with those of Sri Lankan/ Brit MC M.I.A. and her Philadelphia hope to do the same thing: “Lose that brick/ Get a a foundation, a place from whence they came. records — only time can tell with that sort of thing producer, DJ Diplo. Both grime and M.I.A. promise brand new phone/ This trackʼs deep/ You could have it Barnesʼ creature took life in Athens, Ga., the — but that Barnesʼ parents had a kickass record to counter the detachment and commercialism of as your ring tone.” On “Cha Ching,” the ballsy Lady birthplace of groups such as Now itʼs Overhead, modern American pop music and answer the pleas of Azure Ray and Crooked Fingers. However, despite See MONTREAL ✦ page 12 80s nostalgic artists like Missy Elliott, who miss the See THRILLS ✦ page 12 sharing bassinets, Of Montreal sounds nothing like days before Burberry and big beefs, the days when Students insist on skipping spring, heading straight to summer

Spring is supposed to bring the fi rst burst a lot of things and can guide us through many Ours is a ruined generation. So long have great time for reintroducing color into your of fashion in the calendar year, when style and trying experiences, but their involvement we shopped at chain stores and contemplated wardrobe, but remember to resist neon tones color are reborn and youth and beauty enjoy a in our fashion lives was supposed to end in which logo we should plaster across our chests until the heat comes in July. (Owners of fuschia new surge of nostalgia and limelight. Everyone elementary school when they stopped laying that we have forgotten that the season should Ralph Lauren polo shirts, this means you.) OFF THE wants to be young in the spring, but you, my out our clothes every morning. dictate our fashion choices. On that note, let Linen is a strictly April to early September RACK friend, have managed (not surprisingly) to Having spent suffi cient time wasting my me make it quite clear. Spring in Virginia is material, and here in the south, we frame screw things up. words on the hopeless, let me move on to absolutely not the time for linen pants, micro “white” season between Memorial Day and Let me start with those of you who another segment of the population here at mini-skirts, pastel shorts, spaghetti-strap tanks Labor Day. consistently dress as though you are 40 years the College. There are those of you who give or halter tops. This primarily refers to white pants, old. Not that being 40 is the end of the world, thought to what your wear, but despite your For once, I am recommending that you sundresses and shoes and the rule pertains but I can assure you, things can only go earnest efforts, still manage to look like a bunch ignore what the stores are trying to sell you. mostly to women. If any men on this campus downhill from here, so why not branch out and of idiots. Your hearts are in the right places, and Summer is a slow season, one during which our own white pants, then my fi rst tip to you is to wear something that at least gives the illusion I know that your friends probably tell you that age group revels in the ability to wear very little put them away, and my second tip is to talk to that you are a vibrant human being instead you are rather stylish. Unbeknownst to them, clothing. Men bask in the luxury of wearing a a close friend about the fact that you might be of the library-haunting mole you really are. they are lying. few pairs of shorts over and over with different a homosexual. Should you own a white suit, Will Your pleated khakis and tapered jeans have For all of you, I make a fi ner distinction. t-shirts, and many women live in tiny shorts, gentlemen, then I simply have no words. simply got to go. Yes, and your turtlenecks and It is not so much what you wear but how and fl ip fl ops and tank tops. Thus, retailers are hell- Now that Iʼve been adequately grumpy,here Milton sensible white tennis shoes, too. when you wear it. Now that the weather is a bent on making you think that summer starts are a few concrete examples of how to mix Call me cruel, but it pains me that I even bit warmer, it is tempting to throw open the before spring does and, preying on your pent and match in order to avoid looking like need to make these recommendations, and window and spend an afternoon sorting through up sexual energy, deliver posters of half-naked you are just too excited for summer. If you this is really for your own good. You will that forgotten summer wardrobe, fi nding what morons running around on beaches. (Please thank me next time you are not mistaken for still fi ts and what is still fi t to be worn. That is resist these.) See SPRING ✦ page 12 someoneʼs mother/father. Mom and Dad know where the problem lies. Now, a couple of how-to tips. Spring is a Reviews UZZ 12 B REVIEWS ✦ April 8, 2005 Hollywood Gossip

Brit and Kev become Nick and Jess? Another blessed union of stars Britney and Kev are slated to have Kirsten Dunst and Jake Gyllenhall their own “Newlyweds”-style reality are tying the knot. Turns out they show on UPN. Sheʼs knocked up and only pretended to break up just so her man is chillaxin with strippers in they wouldnʼt be in US News Weekly Vegas; itʼs starting to look like a Ricki so much — which, if true, is really SUBMISSIONS RECCOMMENDS Lake rerun. Says Britney: “There have refreshing. And now theyʼre getting # 1 been constant rumors ... I am really married in Jersey. Those little indie — Eyeball Skeleton excited about showing my fans what ingénues make us proud. With the last really happened.” Episode 1: the couple pinacle of Hollywood relationships What do you get when you give an 8 year-old kid a guitar and another eats a bunch of crap they bought at fallen, it seems like a dim future for 10 year-old kid a bass? Songs with titles like “Bad Guy Stew” and “I Donʼt 7-11. Federline hits on the little sister. the quirky couple. Brad, Jen, can I get Eat Cereal on the Weekend” and album art that consists of crayon doodles. Britney doesnʼt notice. an “Amen?” But more importantly, a debut album that is surprisingly rocking . — contributed by Matt Blair, Submissions Magazine Lindsay finds her “Christian” side After the frost of heartbreak ... Good girls like bad boys, so Sienna Miller is beautiful and her WCWM TOP 10 bad girls like badder, old boys? fiancé is Jude Law, and you cannot 1. Woman King — Iron and Wine Looks that way: pop-tart party girl take that away from her. Countering 2. World Pychedelic Classics, Vol. 3 — Various Artists Lindsay Lohan, 18, is suposedly with accusations that the coupleʼs delayed 3. Arular — M.I.A. Christian Slater, 35, who was really wedding is the result of a loversʼ 4. Petra Haden and Bill Frisell — Petra Haden and Bill Frisell hot in the 90s. Since then heʼs been quarrel, Miller told the press, “we 5. Blue Eyed in the Red Room — Boom Bip married and to jail — twice. Now we are happily engaged. It was never our 6. Picaresque — Decemberists know it wasnʼt Slater who appeared intention to get married immediately 7. Men Of Station [EP] — 13 And God in her most recent video. But if Papa and, contrary to allegations that we 8. Let Us Never Speak of It Again — Out Hud Lohan is hard on suitors, we can spent weeks apart, Iʼve spent three 9. Feathers — Dead Meadow only imagine what heʼll say when months of this year with Jude in New 10. Doing the Distance — Snowglobe Christian comes to dinner. Orleans.”

theyʼve been preached for years, but it never hurts to something like this is that I am comparing a relatively SPRING be reminded. MONTREAL unknown indie band to The Beatles and The Beach FROM PAGE 11 There is not enough space in the entirity of The Flat FROM PAGE 11 Boys. Thatʼs a thin line upon which many a moron Hat to address all of the fashion wrongs that parade has perished crossing. would wear a given outfi t to a Fourth of July picnic, across campus on any given day, but keep this in collection is no secret. But you know what? Call me a moron if you want, then it is probably not in season. Bring out a polo mind before you decide that the time for your summer Of Montreal is defi nitely onto something with but “The Sunlandic Twins” is a damned fi ne record shirt, but try white or kelly green, classics which have wardrobe has arrived. Style icons are not always “The Sunlandic Twins.” There are complex chord that is simultaneously intoxicating and enigmatic in been reborn this year. Pair it with jeans, a bright belt icons because of what they wear — after all, pop stars progressions all over the record. Not to mention its construction. Iʼm not sure if I love it or hate it, but and fl ip-fl ops and youʼve got it. Bring back those wear lots of expensive things and still manage to look the oddly-perfect playfulness in the instrumentation I canʼt stop listening to it. Of Montreal has something pastel J.Crew chinos or a brightly printed skirt, but try terrible. Icons earn their status because of a fi nely- of “Our Spring is Sweet Not Fleeting,” and the special. pairing them with black or another neutral instead of honed ability to wear not only what is attractive, but gracefully intentional harmonies that follow in “The Oh, and in case youʼre the illiterate type or havenʼt white or another pastel. Put tailored with rugged. Men, what is so incredibly appropriate to where theyʼre Partyʼs Crashing Us” automatically recall the Beatlesʼ noticed the fl iers, Of Montreal will be playing here at a crisp oxford cloth shirt looks fantastic with ripped going that whatever they wear becomes the standard. “Good Morning, Good Morning” and the Beach the College at the University Center, in the Tidewater up jeans and fl ip fl ops, and this tailored/rugged combo Will Milton is the Flat Hat Reviews Editor. He will Boysʼ “Sloop John B.” The only issue with saying room. Come rock, and wear something colorful. is a great way to pull off those pastels that you might be joining last weekʼs fashionistas-with-claws to wage think are too girly. I canʼt take credit for these ideas; total war on frump and ridiculousness at the College.

characteristically American genre — especially when THRILLS itʼs not meant for dancing? Even if American listeners FROM PAGE 11 do welcome grime as the remedy for all thatʼs wrong with commercial hip-hop, it seems doubtful that Sovereign introduces herself as “the best thing since artists will be able to maintain the same hungry street- sliced bread,” but “Eminem feminine? Naw.” A 5ʼ1 edge once the paychecks start rolling in. Many are girl from the projects, the self-proclaimed “white already hostile to grime artists who get big, and, like munchkin” is a novelty in her own right. Still, she Wonder and Plan B on “Cap Back,” accuse them of has the skills to hold her own on the albumʼs most forgetting their roots. accessible track, a remix of the Streetsʼ “Fit But You Lady Sovereign is not one of them; she writes Know It”; itʼs quick, coarse and dynamic, just like the rhymes to make people laugh and says sheʼs sick entire album. of whiny rappers who Arular, on the other shun anyone who gets hand, is what happens popular; she wants when you send the hard- the underground to knock to art school, give go above ground. her an exotic pedigree and Her website touts the introduce her to a few cool “loads” of US press Britpop artists. she has received and In her fi rst commercial features her picture with album, Maya Arulpragasm production guru Pharrell announces herself as Williams. But donʼt M.I.A., the beat-dropping expect her to lose her rapper rebel with the cheekiness; she signed “bombs to make you with an independent UK blow.” Although she record label to avoid uses a few of the same an industry makeover. techniques, she avoids From the video for her association with grime, single “Random,” in ✦ which she calls “too COURTESY PHOTO ATLANTIC RECORDS which she references J- London-centric”; she wants to build global appeal. Lo and Ludacris and takes a few jabs at Chingy, it And she can do whatever she wants; sheʼs Sri Lankan, looks like she could take grime to the big time without gorgeous, stencils her own album cover art and has missing a beat. lived through war — beat that for street cred. Her She explained her road to grime to the London lyrics play up her roots and feature plenty of battle Independent last year: after years of MC-ing with a imagery; some are superfi cially controversial (ʻlike hairspray can in front of a mirror, she says that she PLO I donʼt surrendoʼ). She calls both Chuck D and heard pirate radio and decided to give it a try, making the singer Peaches her great inspirations. No matter a name for herself on the internet with uber-nerd the contradictions, itʼs great dance music. With dedication; “if you type in my name on Google there boyfriend DJ Diplo, Arulpragasm has added hip hop, are pages and pages of Lady Sovereign. Forums, reggae, Sri Lankan, electronica and Rio baile funk chatrooms, I didnʼt make no fuss about it; I just did beats. And whether they think her words are poignant, it really.” insightful or just cheap marketing, almost everybody It is the future of music in our global economy, loves her songs. where all it takes to lend a voice to the multi-talented But will American listeners be as broadly receptive white munchkin, a posse of grime MCs from a London to grime, a more accidental and even less marketed housing project and a stenciling Sri Lankan refugee is phenomenon than M.I.A. and the 80s revival? The a Sony Playstation and internet access. And if that MCs and producers are passionate and clever, but means the end of P. Diddyʼs career, well, the kids are still, how much success can Brits have in such a alright. Do you love sex?

Do you want to write a weekly column about sex and sexuality at The College? The Flat Hat Variety section is looking for a new sex columnist. This position requires samples. Come to a writersʼ meeting Sunday at 5:30 p.m. in the Campus Center basement or e-mail [email protected].

April 8, 2005 Men’s baseball wins series Page 14 against Old Dominion University, page 16 [email protected] SPORTS Women’s lacrosse defeats JMU rival, suffers GMU loss

BY ELIZABETH IRWIN FLAT HAT SENIOR STAFF WRITER

After a home game win against James Madison University April 1, turn- overs plagued the Tribe lacrosse team as they dropped their fifth consecutive away match to the George Mason University Patriots. GMU took control of the game after scoring goals one and two within the first five minutes of play. W&M answered with a quick shot just under the crossbar by junior attacker Laura Nolan, assisted by senior midfielder Morgan Watkins. Nolan currently has the teamʼs best shooting average (.609), netting 14 of her past 23 attempts. Unfortunately, the momentum did not last as the Patriots tallied three more goals to take a 1-5 lead. After calling a timeout to regroup and to break the Patriotsʼ momentum, the Tribe fired out two more goals. Junior attacker Colleen Dalon fed the ball to sophomore midfielder Emily Vitrano, who found the back of the net with 14 minutes 27 seconds remaining in the first half. Less than a minute later, Vitrano launched an unassisted goal to bring the score to 3-5. Vitrano was one of only two freshmen to start every game in 2004. She had to sit out the fall season, however, in order to recover from an injury. Vitrano was the teamʼs fourth-leading scorer as a freshman, and she is repeating her perfor- mance this season, already having netted 11 goals. Despite the Tribeʼs success, the Patriots answered Vitranoʼs shots by capitalizing on two turnovers that occurred when the Tribe attempted to clear the ball. Trailing by four again, Watkins scored with 3:55 left before the half. Watkins transitioned into the role of team captain and attacker and is cur- rently the Tribeʼs second-highest scorer with 23 goals and 12 assists. Shortly after Watkins, junior midfielder Morgan Lang fired in another goal with 2:51 remaining. Langʼs aggressive play makes her an asset on both sides of the field. Last season she ranked among the team leaders in both goals and caused turnovers. Despite the Tribeʼs comeback, two more Mason goals in the final minute dampened the W&Mʼs spirit going into the second half. Controlling the ball from the opening draw, the Tribe made two attempts at the Patriot goal, both flying high, before a shot from Watkins found the back of the net. Mason tightened their defense, however, and they held the Tribe scoreless until the final two minutes of play. Meanwhile, their offense tallied three more goals. Sophomore midfielder Jamie Fitzgerald netted the final goal for the Tribe with 1:13 remaining, making the final score 7-12. The Tribe fell to 1-1 in league play and 4-6 overall. They will continue conference play this weekend, as they host a pair of CAA games at Busch ALLIE VEINOTE ✦ THE FLAT HAT Field. Friday, the Tribe hosts Drexel University at 4 p.m. before facing Sophomore midfielder Kristen Wong charges past her James Madison University opponent at a home game April 1. The Tribe won 11-7. league-leading and 10th-ranked Hofstra University (3-0) Sunday at noon. Track, fi eld sharpen performance for championships Women heptathletes place third, fourth and sixth at GMU Men’s team produces stellar showings in series of meets

BY MIKE SZLAMOWICZ CAA Heptathlon Champion junior Sarah McHale came BY HEATHER IRELAND was honored as CAA Menʼs Track Athlete of the Week. THE FLAT HAT in sixth in the event, totaling 4,060 points. All three FLAT HAT STAFF WRITER Freshman Dave Mock and sophomore Sean women set personal bests in the event, a good sign for Anastasia-Murphy both qualified for IC4A in the With only two weekends to go until the CAA the upcoming conference meet where the heptathlon is Last weekend, at Christopher Newport Universityʼs 5,000 with times of 14:33.93 and 14:37.42, respec- Championships, the womenʼs track and field team a scoring event. Captainʼs Classic, the menʼs track and field team had tively. The competition marked Mockʼs first collegiate is concentrating on sharpening its performance “Generally we just do open events that are in the some standout performances in field events, particularly 5,000 race. Sophomore Keith Bechtol ran a personal at the few remaining invitationals. As winners of heptathlon,” McHale said. “This is the only [full] one the pole vault and shot put. best 29:47.43 to finish fourth in the 10,000-meter four straight conference we have done and the only one we will do before the Junior Nathan Chubb race. He was just two seconds below qualifying time Look ahead championships heading conference meet.” Look ahead and sophomore Justin for the NCAA. Bechtol, the 2004 IC4A 10,000 cham- into the season, the Tribe The heptathletes competed in several running and Zamorski both cleared 13-6 pion, also qualified for the 2005 IC4A with his time, Who: athletes look to earn their field events prior to the Liberty meet. Meekins placed Who: in the vault, earning fourth which shattered his previous best by an impressive 12 Duke sixth title in seven years third in the pole vault at the Fred Hardy Invitational, Duke and fifth place, respectively, seconds. Sophomore Adam Tenerowicz came in sixth University April 22 and 23 at George Blevins qualified for the ECACs in the javelin throw at University based on the ruling of the in the 10,000 with a time of 30:07.04, which bested his Invitational Invitational Mason Universityʼs field the Virginia Commonwealth University Invitational and judges. That height was a personal record by over 30 seconds and qualified him Date: Date: Today house in Fairfax, Va. The McHale placed sixth in the long jump at the Christopher Today season high for Zamorski, for IC4A. Seniors Jon Healey and Adam Otstot both Where: teamʼs performances this Newport University Winter Frolic. Where: while one of his teammates, ran qualifying times for IC4A, running 31:05.96 and Durham, N.C. season bode well for such The Tribe experienced a number of strong perfor- Durham, N.C. freshman Eric Sandridge, 31:11.74, respectively. a feat, and the teamʼs hep- mances in other events as well. Junior Kristyn Shiring cleared 12-0 for a career The Tribe swept the top three places in the 5,000 race tathletes got into the mix ran a blistering 34:46.00 at the Raleigh Relays 10,000- personal best. In the shot at the Fred Hardy Invitational that same weekend. Senior at last weekendʼs Liberty Invitational. meter, winning the event and breaking the NCAA put, senior Nick Hecker-Thompson placed sixth with a Pat Comstock ran his personal best of 14:38.38, missing The heptathlon is a combination of eight separate Provisional and ECAC standard. Senior Becca Velarde throw of 51-1.5. the IC4A qualifying time by only a few seconds but still events. A heptathlete must run the 100-meter hurdles, and sophomore Christy Dannenberg also qualified for The team split up the previous week, with some run- earning first place, followed closely by sophomore Jonna 200-meter dash, 800-meter run, then compete in the long ECACs in the event. In the field events, junior Ayanna ning at North Carolina Stateʼs Raleigh Relays and others Reinhardt with a time of 14:49.53 and freshman Jared jump, high jump, shot put and javelin throw. Their perfor- Jones qualified for ECACs in the hammer throw at the competing at the Fred Hardy Invitational in Richmond. Campbell, who ran 14:49.90. Senior Kyle Pawlaczyk mance in each factors into a combined score that is used Fred Hardy Invitational. Seven Tribe runners earned IC4A bids for their efforts ran a solid 14:50.84 to earn fifth place in the 5,000. to determine placing. The only Tribe athletes to attend the With the bulk of the season behind them, the Tribe at the Raleigh Relays, including graduate student and In the 800-meter, sophomore Matt Warco ran 1:51.96 meet, held in Lynchburg, Va., represented W&M well. will go back into action today and tomorrow at the Duke three-time All-American Ed Moran, who returned to the to capture fourth place, a personal best time and an IC4A Junior Bonnie Meekins placed third in the event, with University Invitational in Durham, N.C. After that, the track for the first time since breaking his foot in June bid. Junior Justin Banabdallah had two season best an ECAC-qualifying score of 4,648 points. Teammate team will travel up I-64 to the University of Virginia for 2003. Moran placed second in the 5,000-meter race with times, running the 200-meter dash in 22.27 seconds for sophomore Brenna Blevins also qualified for the ECACs the Lou Onesty/Milton Abramson Invitational and then a time of 14 minutes 10.40 seconds, qualifying for IC4A fifth place and the 100-meter dash in 11.13 seconds to with a score of 4,697, good for fourth in the meet. 2004 compete at the CAA Championships in Fairfax, Va. in the process. Due to his excellent performance, Moran earn sixth place. Baseball begins amid startling steroid controversy

Last month, I thought the 2005 baseball about the off-season acquisitions was that teams team on paper, and owner George Steinbrenner still recovering from injury, and the Cubs still season might never begin. In the off-season, the spent ridiculous sums on unproven talent. In the reached deep into his bank account to pay for must develop a closer, so any hopes of a pennant steroid question kept bouncing around for what American League, the New York Yankees signed the pitching that they desperately needed during come with a big question mark. The NL Central FROM THE seemed like eternity. ESPN aired rerun after pitcher Carl Pavano to an expensive multi-year last yearʼs playoffs. The Boston Red Sox will Division will be the most competitive division SIDELINES rerun of Barry Bonds whining about the media contract, who, despite a great season with the be competitive again, but they are not the same in baseball at the top, and the Cubs will be fight- and their propensity to cover potential scandals. Florida Marlins in 2004, is not a proven star. threat they were last year. The biggest question ing for playoff positioning with the St. Louis Jose Canseco played the role of a modern Joseph Similarly, in the National League, the cash- mark is starting pitching. The offensive produc- Cardinals and the Houston Astros. McCarthy and named names in his tell-all book strapped Arizona Diamondbacks managed to fork tion and hitting is still strong for Boston, but rely- The 2005 baseball season should be a great about steroids. It seemed like the word “baseball” over enough to pay for pitcher Russ Ortiz (who ing on 41 year-old David Wells as an ace could one. I am most interested in seeing how certain became synonymous with steroids and that peo- couldnʼt throw a strike if his life depended on it) spell trouble. If Curt Schilling returns to form and stories play out and whether or not players and ple forgot that teams were going to play a season and former Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim third new starter Matt Clement rises to the occasion, teams meet expectations. Will Barry Bonds return this year. Hopefully baseball fans can start to put baseman Troy Glaus. It will be interesting to see however, we could be talking about a repeat. to break Hank Aaronʼs homerun record? How the steroid scandal behind them. how these acquisitions pay off and whether or In the National League, the Cubs are a pen- will the Washington Nationals perform in their Carl Steroids dominated the off-season news, and not the teams that risked their financial future on nant threat because of the depth of their pitch- inaugural season? At the least, I hope we can put Siegmund all the free-agent acquisitions and trades were these players can have success. ing and hitting. Their lineup is also solid top to the past behind us this season and stop turning largely ignored. Many teams made big moves After surveying where all the talent went this bottom, even with the departure of power-hit- our national pastime into a soap opera. that will either make or break their chances for off-season, I believe the Yankees are in position ting outfielders Sammy Sosa and Moises Alou. Carl Siegmund is the sports columnist for success this season. What surprised me most to win the World Series. They are by far the best Starting pitchers Kerry Wood and Mark Prior are The Flat Hat. Play ball. DID YOU KNOW ... ? Men’s rowing has been a part of every modern Olympic games since the fi rst one, in 1896, when

Sports ACKET the event was cancelled due to high seas. 15 R SPORTS ✦ APRIL 8, 2005 — WWW.WORLDROWING.COM

Rowing club — compiled by louis malick Sports Life Sports: Get Involved Calendar April 9 to April 15 — compiled by chris adams Saturday ✦ The menʼs golf team continues the second day of the Princeton Invitational in Princeton, N.J. The womenʼs golf team starts the first day of play at the James Madison University Bonnie Hoover Invitational in Harrisonburg, Va. Womenʼs tennis faces No. 31 Notre Dame. Play begins at 11 a.m. far away in Notre Dame, Ind. Sunday ✦ Womenʼs lacrosse puts the smackdown on Hofstra University at noon on Busch Field. The Sports Calendar enjoys seeing W&M teams put the smackdown on rivals. An hour later, the baseball team plays Virginia Commonwealth University in Petersburg, Va.

The menʼs and womenʼs rowing club got days a week, at 5:15 a.m. or 5 p.m., depend- involved with the Williamsburg Boat Club, a Monday off to a great spring start at the Waterfield ing on class schedules. Rowers also go on community rowing program. Previous experi- Cup, at home, on March 26. Competing against training trips during winter and spring break. ence is not required and training takes place ✦ Itʼs that time again, all you regular Sports Calendar readers: Virginia Tech and Virginia Commonwealth Aside from the time commitment, rowers also at the beginning of each semester, though new Badminton Club. For those of you who are new to this reading University, the team won eight of nine events. must contribute to fundraising efforts. These members are welcome to join at any time. space, the Sports Calendar is addicted to promoting the Badminton “It was an excellent way to start the spring include football cleanups, baseball cleanups The clubʼs next event is the Southern Club as a healthy, useful activity. Who knows when your boss will season, especially since it was a regatta on our and work weekends, where people in the Intercollegiate Rowing Association want to play a friendly game that could mean your promotion — or river so that many friends and family members community hire the team to do yard work and Championships, April 16 and 17 in Oak your doom? If you are unfamiliar with this exciting sport, you can were able to come and watch us,” club secre- other odd jobs. Ridge, Tenn. For more information, contact attend the Badminton Clubʼs practice from 9:15 to 11 p.m. in Adair Gymnasium. A bit of advice: be sure to stretch before playing. tary Sophia Balino said. The club is led by a head coach and an club president Travis Moore at 259-9794 or The club has 50 rowers and practices five assistant coach and has become increasingly [email protected]. Tuesday ✦ Menʼs tennis plays Virginia Commonwealth University on Busch courts at 4:30 p.m. After watching the tennis team, you can head over to Plumeri Park to see the baseball team smash Liberty University at 7 p.m. Wednesday ✦ The womenʼs tennis team hopes to continue their amazing win- ning season when they take on Old Dominion University at 4 p.m. on Busch courts. Thursday ✦ The Kendo club practices tonight from 7:30 to 9:15 in Adair Gymnasium. Friday ✦ Womenʼs lacrosse kicks off a series of away games with a match against Towson University in Towson, Md. Play begins at 4 p.m.

BOX SCORES

Menʼs Tennis

Old Dominion University, W 7-0 April 6

Womenʼs Tennis

University of South Florida, W 5-2 April 1 California State University-Fresno, W 6-1 April 2 Virginia Tech, W 7-0 April 3 COURTESY PHOTO ✦ WMRC Virginia Commonwealth University, W 6-7 April 6 Top: The fi fty or so members of the rowing club pose for a photo. Above: Members of the menʼs team practice on the Chickahominy River. Practices occur fi ve days a week at either 5:15 a.m. or 5 p.m. At the Waterfi eld Cup, the club stomped Virginia Tech and Virginia Commonwealth University. 16 SPORTS ✦ APRIL 8, 2005 Tribe triumphant in ODU series

BY MADELINE WOLFERT left-handed pitcher Forrest Cory said. hit a double allowing senior infielder Will THE FLAT HAT The Tribe earned an early lead of 2-0 in the Rhymes and junior first baseman Jeff Lunardi first inning of game two. Senior catcher Jon to score. After a 3-1 win against the Old Dominion Rhymes reached second base on a dropped fly, After ODU scored one run in the fifth University Monarchs Friday night and a rain- moved to third on a groundout hit by sopho- inning and two more in the seventh, the game out Saturday, the Tribe faced ODU in a double- more third baseman Greg Sexton and made it was tied at 3-3. Will Rhymes led off the eighth header Sunday at Plumeri Park. In game two, home when junior second baseman Chris Rahl by singling to right, moving to second on a the Monarchs sty- singled. Rahl then moved to second on a wild sacrifice bunt by Lunardi and scoring on a Look ahead mied the Tribe and pitch and scored on an error. single by Sexton to make the final score 4-3. emerged with a 3-6 In the third, ODU fought back by scor- Freshman left-handed reliever Pete Vernon What: win, but the Tribe ing two runs to tie the game and then gained earned the win with a perfect ninth, improving Virginia took game three and the lead in the fourth by tacking on three to 3-0 for the year. Common- the series with a 4- more. Although sophomore infielder Brent Forrest Cory was named the CAA Baseball wealth 3 win, improving to McWhorter doubled to allow senior infielder Pitcher of the Week owing to his performance University Date: 16-13 overall and 3- Kyle Padgett to reach home in the fifth, bump- in game one of the series against ODU Friday Today 6 in the CAA, while ing the score to 3-5, the Monarchs retaliated night. Allowing just two hits in eight innings, Where: ODU fell to 17-18 by adding a run as well, leading to a final Cory sat down nine straight batters at one Petersburg, Va. and 1-5 in the CAA. score of 3-6. Sophomore left-handed pitcher point, struck out five and improved to 2-1 for Time: “Winning the Michael LaFleur recorded the loss. the year. 7 p.m. ODU series was big Jon Rhymes began the Tribeʼs attack again “The team really showed great strides for the team as a in game three with a leadoff triple, scoring on toward playing the baseball we know we whole, because [it a sacrifice fly by McWhorter to give W&M a can,” Cory said. “Everyone is looking for- ALLIE VEINOTE ✦ THE FLAT HAT was] a chance for us to put together a few wins 1-0 lead. In the fourth, the Tribeʼs lead grew ward to the VCU series to continue that Freshman outfielder Bryan Morosky takes his stance at the plate. in a row against conference opponents,” junior to 3-0 as freshman infielder Greg Maliniak progress.”

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