Film Clubs & Societies

page 17 The Gliding Trip Departed

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page 14 Wildlife art

h e student newspaper of Imperial College

No. 1,361 • Friday • 27 October 2006 • ffelixelix felixonline.co.uk Referendum Felix editor-in-chief to decide on graduates, somehow joining NUS

Andy Sykes 617 of the 704 were deemed to be the handover period, though thank- Editor-in-chief valid, just 3 more than the 614 re- fully no photos survive of this event. quired by the Union Constitution Mr Collins (Union President) has The referendum to decide whether (5% of the Union’s total member- gone on record numerous times Imperial College Union will affiliate ship of 12,267). The Exec paper rec- as being pro-NUS, and comment- to the NUS has been decided upon ommended that the question on the ed to this reporter on his reasons at Exec and Council, with the Yes ballot be: “Should Imperial College for declaring an interest: “I want and No campaign leaders being Union affiliate to the National Un- to be part of the debate.” It is not appointed and budgets assigned to ion of Students (NUS)?” yet clear whether Mr Collins will each campaign. Mr Collins’ paper to Council re- campaign directly for the pro-NUS The referendum was triggered by veals that almost all the Executive cause. Eric Lai (Deputy President, a petition handed to the Union Pres- Committee declared an interest in Clubs & Societies) is well known as ident, John Collins, with 704 signa- the NUS, and therefore could not a supporter of the anti-NUS cam- tories. After checking the CIDs and form the Referendum Committee. paign, and is likely to command the names of those who signed, only The only members without an inter- backing of the sports clubs, thanks est were James Millen (SCC Chair), to his role as ACC Chair last year. James Yearsley (Media Group The leader of the Yes campaign Chair), Shama Rahman (Deputy is Alex Guite, a friend of Mr Harris, Referendum timeline President, Graduate Students) and and the leader of the No campaign Jon Matthews (Deputy President, is James Fok, the CGCU President, Finance & Services). Mr Matthews a position once held by Mr Collins. 13 October has been approved by Monday’s Each of the parties has been given Referendum approved. Council meeting to act as Return- £1000 to campaign with, and equal ing Officer for the referendum, as access to student media and other 7 November John Collins (Union President) de- communication opportunities. Hustings takes place at the clared an interest and stood down. The student media are working Reynolds Bar, Charing Cross Some hacks are unhappy with together to ensure the facts are campus at 7pm. the sabbs being so vocal with their presented to students in an unbi- opinions on the NUS, and arguing ased way. To this end, Felix is col- 8 November that ICU is already being influ- laborating with the CGCU online Hustings in Da Vinci’s at 7pm. enced by the ideas of the NUS. Fe- newspaper, Live! (live.cgcu.net), lix approached each of the sabbs to to present arguments from the 13 November ask what their interest in the NUS Yes and No campaigns. Live! will Electronic countdown in Da was. Ben Harris (Deputy Presi- provide discussion forums based Vinci’s opens. dent, Education & Welfare), said: around opinion pieces they receive “Everybody knows I’m pro-NUS,” from each of the campaigns. The 14 November adding that he felt it was okay for Union’s TV station, stoic TV, will be Felix editor-in-chief, Andrew Neil Sykes, pictured practising his Voting opens at 00:01. him to campaign on behalf on the running a documentary about the gurning skills for the upcoming Visage Contortion Festival 2007, pro-NUS cause: “If I believe some- NUS, interviewing the sabbs and stunned family and friends when he graduated on Wednesday. 16 November thing is right for students, then I’ll NUS officials. Passing with a 2:1 grade and being awarded the Evans’ Medal for Voting closes at 23:59. campaign for it.” There are also un- Felix urges students to think care- outstanding Chemistry skills, rumours that he slept his way to confirmed rumours that Mr Harris fully about the ramifications that success are completely unfounded. Upon finishing his sabbatical 17 November was spotted ‘lewd dancing’ with the affiliation may have upon the Union position, a PhD and permanent life of periodic tables and PVC Results announced at 7pm. NUS President, Gemma Tumelty, before voting, and that such a deci- aprons await. Congratulations from the Felix team! Much love. after the Presidents’ Dinner during sion should not be made lightly. 2 felix Friday 27 October 2006

NEWS [email protected] Spying on students? Halal food debate A leaked government paper suggests universities monitor “suspicious students” over fears of extremism on UK campuses

Andy Sykes

A draft paper leaked from the De- partment of Education, obtained by the Guardian, has incited a new row about extremism on UK university campuses. The paper urges university staff Almost all the chicken served by the Union is now halal and lecturers to report any stu- dents that are involved in ‘suspi- cious’ activities to special branch, The rising number of Muslims on cerns over the way it is slaughtered. and acknowledges that this will British university campuses has The University’s Secular Society result in “concerns about the police caused a surge in the number of has also protested the introduction targeting certain sections of the universities serving halal food, of entirely halal dishes, arguing that student population (e.g. Muslims)”. though some, including the Secular one group’s religious requirements The draft paper, which was sent Society at Oxford University, have should not be forced on to another. for consultation to official bodies protested against the lack of op- Mr Matthews responded to this is reported to focus on factors that Ruth Kelly, communities secretary, has defended the plans tions available. concern, saying: “We never have radicalise students, with specific Halal simply means “permis- an entirely halal menu, so other op- attention paid to the role played by sible” in Arabic; the act of halal tions are available. Why would non- Islamic societies on campus. It dis- to students arriving at university. me to be potentially the widest in- slaughter is called dhabiha. This Muslim students care about halal?” cusses the possibility of monitoring It is true that extremists have fringement of the rights of Muslim act involves first checking if the The College caterer takes a similar any Islamic society’s leaflets and been operating on campuses in the students that there has ever been animal is healthy; if so, the animal line: “As the taste and quality is the speakers, and warns of the dangers UK for the past few years. In the in this country. It sounds like you’re is given water to drink and pointed same as non-halal meat, this does of terrorists “talent-spotting” on recent foiled terror plot to blow up guilty until you’re proven innocent.” towards Mecca. The slaughter man not affect the menu choices for our campus and “grooming students airlines travelling from the UK to In defence of the plans, Ruth Kelly, then says a brief prayer, and slices non-Muslim customers.” for terrorism”. the US with explosives, one Islamic the communities secretary, reiter- open the large arteries in the neck Research into the dhabiha meth- The paper was leaked at a time society president was arrested air ated that academic staff were not of the animal. This helps drain the od of slaughter is inclusive with when the Government is under side while allegedly trying to smug- “spying” but rather “monitoring corpse of blood, as the consumption regards to animal suffering. While strain with regards to its attitude gle explosives on board an aircraft. students”. Paul Mackney, joint gen- of blood is forbidden in Islam. some academics have stated it to towards British Muslims, after Jack In a far less clear-cut case in 2003, eral secretary of the University and At Leicester University, students be one of the fastest methods of kill- Straw’s request that a constituent Babar Ahmed, a Information Tech- College Union, also drew compari- managed to get pork banned from ing an animal, and that the draining remove her niqab (face-covering nology Support worker at the Col- sons with the McCarthy era, and the union’s food outlet, and all other of blood results in a relatively pain- veil) when speaking to him resulted lege, was arrested on charges un- said the paper had “major implica- dishes are now exclusively halal. At less death, animal rights groups in outrage amongst many British der the Terrorism Act, and police tions for academic freedom, civil Sheffield, a branch of Hally Ally’s, a contend that it causes unneces- Muslims. raided rooms in Mechanical Engi- liberties.” fast food company that serves only sary suffering compared to modern The paper devotes a section to neering to seize computers. He is A paper put to Union Council on halal food, has opened on campus. methods that stun the animal prior factors that can drive students to currently awaiting extradition to Monday night by Camilla Royle, a The Union serves halal food, which to slaughter. The Government- extremism, and lists a number of the US. And at last year’s Freshers’ student closely involved with SWSS is clearly marked on the menus. Ac- funded Farm Animals Welfare contributing reasons; these include Fair, individuals acting under the and Student Respect, which con- cording to Jon Matthews, Deputy Council has recommended that the a feeling of “segregation” from Brit- name “Stop Islamophobia” were demned Islamophobia and asked President (Finance & Services), conventional form of dhabiha that ish society, extremism in their origi- attempting to recruit students for that the body got in touch with Col- said that chicken served by the takes places without any stunning nal hometowns, and the influence of Hizb ut-Tahrir, an Islamicist party lege authorities to ask whether stu- Union is “almost entirely halal”. should be abolished. radical speakers. On the subject of that was facing a ban under pro- dents’ details were being passed to In College food outlets, the story Some have raised questions over invited speakers, it advises keeping posed anti-terror legislation. Special Branch. It seems, however, is similar. In a statement made to the accommodation of Islamic eat- a close eye on invited speakers and The outcry over the leak has been that those fears are misplaced. This Felix, a catering manger in College ing habits, arguing that Jewish stu- committee members: “The control widespread. Gemma Tumulty, the reporter contacted Rees Rawlings, said: “The majority of chicken we dents should be able to obtain ko- of university or college Islamic so- NUS President, compared it to Mc- Pro-Rector for Educational Quality, serve is halal… beef and lamb are sher food on campus. However, as cieties by certain extremist indi- Carthyism, adding: “They are going asking if there were any plans to not currently halal. We identify on Mr Matthews says, this would likely viduals can play a significant role in to treat every Muslim with suspicion monitor affiliations of students or menus with an “H” all dishes that require an entirely separate kitch- the extent of Islamist extremism on on the basis of their faith.” Wakkas to specifically monitor Muslim stu- are halal.” en in order to ensure that milk and campus.” It worries that the influ- Khan, president of the Federation dents and societies. Mr Rawlings At Oxford University, recently the meat are never handled together ence of these “charismatic, persua- of Student Islamic Societies, wor- replied succinctly: “Your questions centre of a furious animal rights or with the same utensils, whereas sive and eloquent” speakers can tap ried about the lack of moderation are simple to answer. The answers row, some chefs have refused to halal food requires far less work to into feelings of alienation common shown by the paper: “It sounds to are no, and no.” prepare halal meat because of con- accommodate.

felix 1,361 JOSH LEVINE Friday 27.10.06

Game On Exhibition Designer Vs. High St “The games are the focus - an “Even if designer stores aren’t as eclectic mix of the past and the quick to move as the high street, present, offering a whistle-stop are the clothes at least of a better tour from decades of gaming.” quality? Or the designers any PAGE 5 better? It’s scandalous that Ralph Lauren charge £50 for a plain top” Bangladesh Crisis PAGE 11 “In the small town of Mirpur homemade bombs killed over 20 IC Caving Club people. Over 500 people have “Abseiling down through a chim- been injured in such riots in the ney between the rock, the walls last two months. The Bangaldeshi suddenly disappear. Looking down people are fighting for their right far below, I can see pinpricks of to a reliable source of energy.” light – the headlamps of the rest of PAGE 6 Walking the Boards the party waiting for me.” “Hilarious, rude, loud, extravagant, PAGE 27 Take That Razorlight and constantly pitting the cyni- “I was given no time to adapt to cal against the soppy; you come End of a Legend the crowd as The Kooks ven- out with your cheeks aching from “No other driver besides Schu- tured onto the stage. Before any laughter and a sense of wonder at macher can polarise this sport in instruments were picked up I was how realistic a puppet sex scene such a fashion, or cement a team Chinese and Tibetan émigrés protest outside the Royal Garden Hotel crushed by squealing girls.” can be” so cohesively together” in Kensington High Street, where Chairman Jia Qinglin,responsible PAGE 13 PAGE 16 PAGES 28 & 29 Tibet policy, was meeting Tibetan spriritual leaders Friday 27 October 2006 felix 3

NEWS [email protected] HSBC pushes student over the edge A student committed suicide after being ‘hounded’ by HSBC and having his overdraft facility removed

Dave Ellis overdraft. HSBC then cancelled want to intrude upon the family’s a message to someone in financial News Editor his overdraft facility leaving him grief.” A spokesman for the com- difficulty.” with no student loan and no ac- pany also said: “At HSBC we make Whatever the reasons, whoever is A 20 year old Computer Studies cess to any money. Distraught, Mr. every possible effort to reach cus- to blame, one thing is clear. Despite student from South Wales commit- Banks-Wilkinson was driven to the tomers the moment we begin to see high street banks bending over ted suicide after his bank hounded Bridgend branch of HSBC on 11th signs of financial difficulty, not to do backwards to attract new student him to pay off his £1,200 overdraft. January by his mother. He returned so would be irresponsible.” customers, the incentives do not Geraint Banks-Wilkinson, from in a state of extreme distress. Mrs. Since the tragic suicide of Ge- mean the banks will offer any sort Nant-y-moel, studied at Swansea Banks-Wilkinson recalled: “He said raint Banks-Wilkinson, a number of support, or display any kind of Institute and was described as an ‘They can’t help me’. When he came of HSBC customers who have had understanding of a student’s situa- “award-winning student”. back, basically he sat in the car, put similar experiences have come for- tion. Banking is a hard-nosed busi- Mr. Banks-Wilkinson supported his head in his hands and sobbed.” ward. One student was reportedly ness and a successful bank will al- his studies with a part-time job at Mrs. Banks-Wilkinson tried to left with £30 to last until the end ways defend its interests. McDonalds, an overdraft and a pacify her son over a cup of tea, ad- of term because his overdraft was On the other hand, many students small student loan. In December vised him to try other banks or to cancelled. Jamie Marshall, who find it find it difficult to pay the large 2005 HSBC began to phone Mr. contact HSBC by another means. Geraint Banks-Wilkinson studied at Reading University, said: tuition fees and support themselves Banks-Wilkinson almost every day He was appeared to cheer up and “I went over my overdraft limit and whilst studying, since they may not pressurising him to pay off his over- returned to Swansea in order to re- cleared it by paying in all of my stu- have much time to work. This con- draft. His parents later said: “He turn to work at McDonalds. Philip Rogers, the coroner, re- dent loan and wages from my job. flict can have disasterous effects was not afraid of a bit of work and The next day he went to work as corded a verdict of suicide after HSBC cancelled my overdraft, leav- and is likely to get worse with the was doing his studies as well, but usual and socialised with work col- a post-mortem exam showed the ing me with £30 for the term. For a introduction of student top up fees, could not do everything. The way leagues after the shift was over. cause of death was by hanging. month, I ate one meal of beans on putting students under a debt larg- they treated him was appalling. However, Mr. Banks-Wilkinson was HSBC offered the following state- toast a day.” Another student, Aar- er obligation. They were hounding us when they found hanging from the ceiling in ment concerning the tradgedy: on Robinson claimed to have been The likely effect is that the pres- could not get hold of him.” his bathroom the following day. “HSBC again offers its sincere con- targeted by HSBC after he gradu- sure created on students from less Whilst taking his GCSE exams Mr. A final, bitter irony came as HSBC dolences to the family and friends ated. He said: “Roughly every two affluent backgrounds may grow Banks-Wilkinson had self-harmed tried to phone Mr. Banks-Wilkin- of Geraint Banks-Wilkinson. HSBC hours a person would call demand- to much for studying at university and had a history of depression. He son’s father on the day his son died: has not as yet had an opportunity to ing I pay off my £2000 overdraft in to be a viable career option. And had also been prescribed anti-de- “On the day he died, they even review the coroner’s findings and full or face serious repercussions. since graduates earn much more pression medication. called and I told them exactly what as such cannot comment on them They then rang my parents from than non-graduates, the rich-poor The pressure mounted and cli- had happened. I said: ‘You have specifically. Further, privacy legisla- 6:30am to as late as 10:30pm.” divide could widen. That point maxed at Christmas when a £1000 pestered him for months and now tion prohibits a bank from discuss- An HSBC spokesman comment- couuld not be more clear than to student loan was paid into his ac- you have driven him to his death. I ing the details of its customers’ ac- ed: “I don’t see multiple calls as the friends and family of Geraint count, paying off most of his £1,200 hold you responsible’.” counts, and we certainly would not badgering people. It’s trying to get Banks-Wilkinson. Boris to tackle Uni cheats No C in the K&C!

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N B E D F T E P G . L L Y BARONS N US L E U L E S P A Q

D R D OR G E E L U T D T O A N O E V U B . O OL R T O R E R R P R S CH F H . A same reason, but only one has been S U ST O I O COURT D L R G D A A R G E O L S N L A T E G N U A E L D D H O U E E ROA D N O ’ A S A S V ND R R D Y P U O E C N S C O A C U H YH D O URC O E RE H L HIL D R G R R L GARDENS ROA G T O S R AR A BE O T H E I T D C D A T G A R S RO . R F C H A K E SVE N L R O I L T T O E D WEST N U L C R YFORD A IF A R R I D E S T B O A I B F C F H A V A O E EN D R O R O F O E O Y T M E R expelled. D . K E I R G N E D NG R T B A E S I U N N BROMPTON O A E M LS R H O E L U R T T D Y I O AR D D R A E L G S E G R E E L E G L R H S EE LK C H I N A E T W A L S TR T H ROAD R T E H RO O S NE N A E Y A T E NT ES A D E E H E LA D R C NKM AM M D T H BA T Q I E EM R A E R E T E A RIV U VAUXH E Y N H SE L MS T E L . EL B The main method of cheating is S L G I S H E EL D L D D C E UN R L T GR I E R R N A F O O E T N T S N O E O T M E A I V T N M R R R BA B I NINE ELMS K D R D RO A E L A . A O O G W R N S N H T A A R E B T . W R O O L O N R E A T D D Y E U V I R N E E D H U TR F E H S G T S C E T E A BATTERSEA PARK A R I M H by ‘cutting and pasting’ coursework S F Y D A L W E D O U U S LHAM B D R FU ROA A OA L O N D O W A D WA R R H Y B K S S A R DOR A A SET A T P H L D L R E S T B A O M A ’ D E A . T N R D R G A D E S T W L R E R R H M A N O O H E A O I C R T T E O R T S B O K T R . R R S HU S A S W from the Internet. Some websites FULHAM D D B B A E P R OA C E R L D T A O D R A A S Y O S S E I L W ’ A R OA T S D T H S D P O R E A G O O O E G R L W IN H A D T B E R C K I S D T E B A R A O M B I R R A

A D O T D S R W H D G A E ST R D IV O O L A E DR O O O R U A are selling essays for up to £1000. DL A R S E E O D F AL A V A I R O W D L D W M E F A E P G O NSD M N N ER I D CE OW W I A D N NE A A R A R RI W O L T P AY H G A S A R D P E D N O E A AD A R D W D O STOCKWELL L S A R Baroness Ruth Deech, the stu- RO C dent complaints ombudsman, said: The proposed new C zone that will come into effect in February “Education is a quest, a voyage of discovery weighing up a range of views and encouragement of no- The Congestion Charge is to be have very little congestion at all. Of tions. The intellectual tradition of rolled out over a large section of course King’s Road gets busy but inquiry is getting lost. If lecturers Kensington and Chelsea. The plans that is a sign of a vibrant shopping can imbue students of the notion have been contested in the area, and entertainment culture. Expe- that they are searching rather than but the efforts of campaigners ap- rience tends to suggest this latest copying, we maybe can go some pears to have failed. The existing scheme is all about revenue rais- way to tackling plagiarism.” zone, which borders Park Lane, ing, not combating congestion.” Jo The Daily Mail claims that up to will be swept out to the Earl’s Court Valentine of London First said busi- 20,000 university students were Road one-way system. nesses were frustrated at the May- caught cheating last year. Boris The plans have come under intense or’s “unwillingness to... address Johnson also said that the alleged criticism since the RAC revealed problems with congestion hotspots, 10% of students who cheated were that the most congested roads lay none of which are in the proposed “a minority driven to extremes”. to the north, south and east of the extension.” He also described the website centre, rather than to the west. A document released by the UKEssays, which sells essays to This has led many to question Ken Royal Borough of Kensington and students, as “queasy-making in its Livingstone’s motives. Some be- Chelsea points out that not all the efficiency”. Boris Johnson moments before tackling German No. 6 Maurizio lieve he is trying to raise income by residents of the borough are afflu- Meanwhile, Wes Streeting, the ed- Gaudino; if that’s anything to go by then cheaters should watch out effectively introducing a tax on the ent; some areas in the borough are ucation vice-president for the NUS residents that live in West London. the most deprived in England. The claimed the high level of students student would photograph a ques- aday cage’. The device would act Edmund King, executive direc- areas of St. Charles and Golbourne working part-time was putting tion and MMS the picture to a col- similarly to the way elevators act in tor of the RAC Foundation, said: have about 23,000 residents, 60% of them under pressure. He also at- league outside the exam hall, who blocking mobile phone signals. “There is no possible logic for sin- whom live in social housing. Under tacked some universities for hav- then sends back the answer. The Plagiarisers should be wary; Uni- gling out west London for this pro- the proposed plans, these residents ing “adopted a heavy hand and… problem has got so bad that one versities UK say that 80% of institu- posed extension. There are many would not qualify for the reduced throwing students off courses.” Government expert is calling for tions are now using the electronic other areas that are far more con- tariff, but would not be able to effec- Another popular way for cheat- exam rooms to be ‘shielded’ from software ‘Turnitin’ to catch the gested. Many key routes that cross tively use their car without paying ers is to use technology. Typically a mobile phone signals using a ‘Far- cheats. the proposed new charging zone in full. 4 felix Friday 27 October 2006

SCIENCE [email protected] How to turn science into hard cash How Imperial physicist John Hassard turned his hard work into hard cash, founding three companies

Emma Turner views) may pay a decent wage but ence glasses and put on your busi- to enable us to ‘See the Molecule metres of head’”. Sounds good to it will drain your soul. ness head. Which is exactly what not the Label’ (the tag-line on the me. This is Hassards advice to bud- For all those bright sparks who So how do you turn science into the high energy physicist has done. website www.deltadot.com.) The ding entrepreneurs – find a sizeable rolled up to Imperial College think- hard cash? If you’d turned up to Hassard has been involved in the entrepreneurial bit of this invention problem and use your sought after ing: “I’m in! My life is sorted! Roll John Hassard’s presentation at the creation of three separate compa- is the absence of a pesky intrusion science knowledge to solve it, and out the champagne and silk shirts!”, Launch of IC’s Entrepreneurship nies, all of which make this tricky into the imaging process – the la- to do this you’re going to have cross the harsh reality eventually dawns Societies event last Tuesday you transition. The first one is brushed bel – a fluorescent chemical applied over into business territory. It’s a that having a brain full of science might have a few ideas. Hassard is under the carpet with a muttered to the molecule that enables you to scary thought. does not a fistful of money make. a man with his eye on the ball and ‘dismal’ but the second and the third ‘see’ it. Basically it gets in the way, But on listening, frankly en- And as you soon work out research a spring in his step. A man who re- are his babies. ‘DeltaDOT’ merges Hassard’s team have used their thralled, to the man for the dura- pay is pitiful and the city (if you can alised that in order to rake in the the physics of high resolution imag- combined disciplines to remove it tion of his speech there is no dis- get through the minefield of inter- dosh you need to take off your sci- ing with the biology of molecules and sell the new technology. guising the fact that for all his Alan The third and potentially most Sugar-like business sense Hassard exciting company is HydroVenturi, is a physicist at heart. If for no other a company that puts a spin on tidal reason than he calls the symbols on power, the classic renewable energy the board his ‘guys’ (a classic physi- source by adding some tweaks that cist trait), but also because he has make it just that bit better. Why? the stimulating energy of a man Because Hassard thinks big and who has the recognisable passion energy is ‘the biggest fish’ of them for his useless subject. But in con- all. Where there is a problem, ac- trast to his crazy haired colleagues tually a catastrophe loom- his application of the subject ing on the horizon that renders it not so useless. is the whole world’s Hassard believes that interest to solve “physicists need to there is money to justify their exist- be made. Basi- ence”, a sentiment cally the bit that certainly not shared sticks out of the by everyone. But Before you tell us about you, water is called with a passion and the ‘head’ and deep love of his HydroVenturi’s work as well as genius is mak- more money than here’s a little bit about us ing the head as you could ever small as possi- earn in the square ble, but not too mile just waiting small – as the to fall into his wal- Graduate and Intern Opportunities 2007 man eloquently let, it’s Hassard and puts it “Don’t even the entrepreneurs bother getting out who are going to of bed for more have the last We're looking to recruit high-calibre graduates and than 10 laugh. summer interns who are a little different from the usual. We don’t want clones, stereotypes or anyone who fits neatly into a box. We want sparky individuals ready to make their mark. Put simply, if you’re ready to take responsibility, we’re ready to give it.

John Hassard, reader in physics at Imperial, founded the tidal power To find out more visit company HydroVenturi Ltd and biotechnology company DeltaDot www.nomura.com/europe/careers And the winner is... Primo Levi Graduate deadline – 1 December 2006 Summer Internship deadline – 19 January 2007 Edward Wawrzynczak ‘The Best Science Books Ever’, an event organised by the Royal Insti- tution together with Imperial’s Sci- ence Communication group, asked three experts on popular science writing to nominate their candi- dates for best book. The Guardian’s former science editor Tim Radford went for Primo Levi’s The Periodic Table, a mem- winner on the night, the discussion oir with its metaphorical roots in brought out the characteristics chemistry. Armand Leroi, biologist defining the best books of the sci- and author, chose an inspirational ence writing genre – successfully book on animal behaviour, Konrad covering a big idea, getting across Lorenz’s King Solomon’s Ring. what we know of the world, showing Lastly, Sara Abdulla, publisher and how science is done, and, not least, theatre buff, praised the skilful writ- achieving high literary quality. ing of Tom Stoppard’s brilliant play The Periodic Table ticked the box- Arcadia. es and won the popular vote. Primo Lively debate among the panel Levi deserves a place on every- and audience identified other au- body’s bookshelf. In the words of thors and books with strong claims. Saul Bellow: “This is a book that is Although there could be only one necessary to read.” Friday 27 October 2006 felix 5

SCIENCE [email protected] Truth about The Game On exhibition prophetic An inspired recollection of gaming history or a chance for more Nintendo marketing? Greek oracles Mike Cook Nigel Praities The facts don’t entirely speak for themselves, but they allege that Deranged celebrity behaviour goes there are 26,500,000 gamers in the back further than we thought. Re- UK. This ranges from the hardcore cent geological evidence confirms denizens of Azeroth right through that for thousands of years, genera- to the Brain Trainers and busi- tions of women in ancient Greece nessmen who play Sudoku on their were acting crazy and becoming phone. Whether or not all of these famous for it. people are truly ‘gamers’ is a de- During the 8th century B.C. the bate in itself, but the numbers do Delphi temple in Greece became say this – gaming, in one form or internationally famous for the another, is a part of the nation’s psy- prophetic powers of Pythia – the che. And if it’s technological history, priestess who sat on a tripod, then the Science Museum want to inhaled toxic vapours and babbled play host to it. predictions of the future. Over hun- But if you’re not convinced by the dreds of years, the various Pythia numbers, you might be wondering at Delphi were consulted for advice why the exhibition is gracing the on many major decisions and were museum at all. Gaming still has its the most prestigious and authorita- neuroses and its stigmas attached, tive oracles in the Greek world. and even without them it can still seem all too Pop Culture. Has the Science Museum sold out? Pythia inhaled “I think it’s very important to ac- tually look at Game On beyond just toxic vapours what’s in [the exhibition], but also the whole museum.” Explains Dav- and predicted id Yarnton, the General Manager of Nintendo UK, speaking at the ex- the future hibition’s opening, “The important thing [Nintendo] see in games, and Recent geological investigations the reason why we want to be here, have provided some suggestions is because we think of games as of the source of the Pythia’s de- something that gives young people ranged behaviour. Two major fault the opportunity to get inspiration lines have been discovered under and have fun.” the temple thought to be responsi- If nothing else, Mr. Yarnton knows Rock on. Suits wah-wah their whammys on Guitar Hero for the PS2 at the Game On Exhibition ble for the release of hallucinogen- the Science Museum’s intentions ic gases. These hydrocarbon gases, pretty well. The exhibition itself is such as ethylene, would have draped in cool blues and bright col- stop tour of most of the last decades ing somewhat bemusedly through its own until the Wii and Playsta- brought about striking neurotoxic ours for the most part, with vibrant of gaming. the exhibition. He talks to me about tion3 are released, as this will make effects in the famous oracle. murals by Jon Burgerman – an In Mr. Yarnton’s opening speech, the exhibition, and about what gam- their collection finally complete. However, new research has artist who has worked for Sony in he hinted at the relationship be- ing has been for him in the past two It comes at an interesting time, shown that it is more likely to be the past – and it’s these that really tween the exhibition and the wider and a half decades. In front of us, a time when gaming is partially oxygen deprivation from carbon underline the direction of Game museum. He described gaming as the Elite console that he donated embraced by consumers in gen- dioxide and methane release that On, highlighting the content of vid- something “where kids, by having to Game On glows and sparkles. eral, but still at threat from legal induced trance and delirium in eogames, challenging the long-held fun, [gain] inspiration to further Is there still scope for technologi- and moral minefields both at home the oracle. In the enclosed temple stereotypes and clichés, and asking things in the future.”, and made cal innovation and development in and further afield. Game On fails to chamber, these gases may have re- questions of the future. mention of the drop in interest in the future? Is there still a future for challenge the image of gaming very sulted in acute oxygen deprivation. But of course, it’s the games that science across the board. “It’s so science in gaming? “We don’t even well, and it’s claim of “every game The research, published in the cur- are the focus – Space Invaders is important, I think, at the moment, know where the ‘scope’ is,” he says, worth playing” similarly doesn’t rent issue of Geology, also suggests projected at an impressive scale and I read all the time in the papers “This exhibition is a milestone, it ring true. But it remains a beauti- that the ‘sweet smells’ described onto the walls, lively platformers about young people… but it’s so im- shows that we’ve reached a turning ful and rare tour-de-force of some of around the temple could have been such as Jak And Daxter share floor portant that we get them involved point. But it’s no more than the end the lesser-travelled paths in gam- from benzene fumes coming from space with old classics such as and participating towards innova- of the beginning.” ing history. local springs, although they did not Elite. It’s an eclectic mix of the past tion in the future.” It’s worth noting that the exhibi- “It’s exciting,” Braben explains, detect the gas. and the present, offering a whistle- Later, I find David Braben wander- tion is sponsored by Nintendo it- with a smile that hasn’t dulled over This research provides a ra- self – this doesn’t just mean that 24 years of working in the indus- tional explanation for the bizarre they get exclusive sketches of Don- try, “To write games, to play them. antics of the Pythia, though key Kong and Mario. It also means We’re just beginning.” research is ongoing to uncover that the exhibition is distinctly lack- Game On, like the industry itself, the reasons for the behaviour of ing in the areas that Nintendo don’t still has a lot of work to do. Courtney Love. cover. Metal Gear Solid, Half-Life, Quake, even Doom are all con- spicuously absent, and the most Exhibition recent Final Fantasy they could muster was a Playstation conver- Information sion of FFVI. The exhibition still does its job of highlighting some of The Game On exhibition runs the great moments in videogaming from 21 Oct 2006 until 25 Feb history – but it also has a few pages 2007 at the Science Museum. missing, particularly as you go on Entry costs £8.50 for adults through time. or £6.50 for children and con- In the final chamber of the exhibi- cession entry. Family tickets tion, a projector throws out Guitar are also available. Hero, two-player, onto a screen. Opening times are from Schoolkids and Suits strum away 10.00 until 18.00 with specific to Franz Ferdinand, both equally extended special events dur- amazed and confused by the flurry ing November. of sound and colour. For all its poor Booking can be made online lighting and lack of seating, Game at www.sciencemuseum.org. On is still a charming exhibition of uk or by telephone on 0870 gaming, and offers a few very rare 906 3890. Note that booking chances to glance upon some very fees may apply. special pieces of gaming history. For more information about From Grand Theft Auto III concept the exhibition including which art through to Spacewar! and an games are playable, visit original PDP-1, there are some real www.sciencemuseum.org.uk Courtney Love: Another toxin One of many vivid gaming inspired banners adorning the exhibition gems. But it’s unlikely to come into abusing, bullshit spouter 6 felix Friday 27 October 2006

GLOBALLY SPEAKING [email protected] Bangladesh: the fight for energy

Jignesh Parekh ladesh has been seen to suffer from vestors to replenish the countries have often accused of exploiting the and there seems to be a lack of so- Engineers Without Borders variable voltages, poor operating power infrastructure. nations resources. The American lutions being delivered. The govern- efficiencies, significant load shed- But Bangladesh isn’t the easiest company Occidental had a major ment has set in place several short In the small town of Mirpur north ding and poor tariff and billing pro- place to invest, with alleged issues pipeline explosion in 1997 and the term measures, including enforced of the capital Dhaka, famous for its cedures. All review indicators have of corruption, beauracracy and matter of compensation for environ- black outs for ‘unimportant’ indus- mango trees, homemade bombs been towards a lack of investment misinformation all plaguing the mental damage has still not been tries, which are seemingly frustrat- killed over 20 people. In Kansant, a in the country’s power genera- government. Whilst Chinese com- resolved, and a similar case exists ing the situation further. It is ironic small village, hundreds fought with tion infrastructure. With expected panies have been seen to finance for the Canadian company Niko Re- that a country with rich natural gas police, and 7 were killed. In the sub- demand to increase by 60% in the and implement projects success- sources as well. Asia Energy PLC is unable to meet its own power re- urb of Dhaka, thousands took to the next 6 years it is expected that an fully, such as a recent 100 million have looked to initiate an open pit quirements due to ultimately a lack streets in protest; a local MP was investment of over 10 billion pounds dollar transmission refurbishment coal project which displaces over of good governance and profes- violently wounded. Over 500 people is needed by 2011 to reach a target project, others have been with- 40,000 people over the next 10 years sional technical and management have been injured in such riots in of reliable energy by 2020. It is a drawing investments, including which has caused much anger from human resources who are able to the last two months. The Bangal- sum so large that the government the Indian company Tata. However, local village communities. There is deliver solutions in these difficult deshi people are fighting for their has little choice but to look towards investors don’t seem to be coming an uncertain and potentially violent social conditions. right to a reliable source of energy. international donors and private in- out with flying colours either; they future for the Bangladeshi people; The world should perhaps take Over 18 power plants are current- a serious note of violent repercus- ly shut down for repair and mainte- sions of energy shortages that we nance and the countries generating are witnessing in Bangladesh, for a capacity is barely reaching half of similar situation may not be too far the current demand. The challeng- for others, the UK included. es of numerous blackouts, some- times lasting several hours a day, Note to Reader: have been particularly strenuous I am not an informed expert in the during the holy month of Ramadan area of Bangladesh’s energy situ- which sees people fast in extreme ation and would like to apologise heat. The lack of electricity for even for any misrepresentation given to cooling fans has pushed the masses the reader. I would also invite any- to breaking point. one who has an alternate view to The energy crisis is not the only write in to share their thoughts at: challenge that Bangladesh is fac- [email protected]. ing; its water and transport infra- structure has been found lacking, To find out more: 24 percent of the population are liv- Engineers Without Borders is a ing under extreme income poverty national student-led international and the country is in serious politi- development charity which aims cal turmoil. Over the last year we to train and develop students who have witnessed an average of one are able to tackle such global chal- mass strike per week. It is this web lenges. If you are interested in find- of intrinsically connected obstacles ing out more, please contact: thalia. that has made solving the energy [email protected] crisis an altogether monumental Also, to attend an informal ses- challenge, one that several energy sion on the role of microfinance and ministers have tried to take on social mobilisation in development but have resigned promptly after work today, Friday the 27th, contact appointment. Nara at [email protected] for The electricity provision in Bang- The Bangladesh energy crisis has left 27 people dead and over 500 injured in the last 2 months more details about time and place.

This month Embracing the environment Household

Pugwash João Vitor Serra Furthermore, for a College which the power which students and staff heat loss Globally Speaking Editor embraces the idea of environmen- have in influencing the College’s Wednesday 1 November tal protection, the College is not actions. The second annual Green Launch Event 2006/2007 According to the College’s Energy doing so well by not funding the Week – which is expected to take Location TBC and Environmental Services web- Union’s sustainable redevelopment place at the end of February 2007 site, energy management and envi- initiative. – will focus on reviewing the Col- Informal introduction to ronmental services on campus are The only section of the website lege’s energy use and demand that Pugwash as an organisation key issues to Estates. Imperial Col- which is relatively up-to-date is it take action towards cutting its with a professional historian lege Estates promises to provide that on recycling – which provides carbon emissions. who works for international up-to-date information about its en- information on the College’s five For a “world-class teaching and Pugwash. ergy and environmental perform- phase programme on implement- research institute” the College lets ance and its initiatives to reduce ing and managing recycling on the itself down by not making use of its To find out more visit environmental impacts and reduce own technology. With the majority of www.union.ic.ac.uk energy costs and consumption. our energy currently being bought /scc/pugwash All of this sounds perfectly rea- from the expensive electrical grid it Or you can email: sonable and for anyone who doesn’t would seem not only economic and ■ The average household [email protected] know better the College is probably environmentally friendly, but also spends approximately £400 keeping to its promises. However, extremely advantageous from a on energy bills during the Engineers Without Borders if you take a moment to investigate PR perspective that we implement winter (October - March). This the topic you will find that the Col- the technology developed by our re- is about a third more than Friday 27 October lege’s ‘up-to-date’ information is in- searchers on our own campus. an energy efficient home. 6pm Union Meeting Room 2 significant at best. Further to this, Estates should (Source: ETSU) According the Energy Manage- not only provide up-to-date infor- Informal session on the role of ment Policy website, “Imperial mation on its developments, which ■ By turning down your microfinance and social mobi- College is a world-class teaching Have you seen the College’s new it doesn’t appear to be doing very thermostat by 1C, or using lisation in development work and research institution providing recycling bins on campus? well, but it should actively dis- one hour less heating a day, scientific and technical excellence, seminate such information. As a you could cut your fuel bills To find out more visit innovation and solutions for the glo- result, Green Week will aim at fur- by 10%. www.ewb-uk.org/imperial bal needs of the 21st century. Best campus. Interestingly, this section ther increasing the communication (Source: BRECSU) Or you can email: practice in energy management of the website was updated earlier between Estates and the people [email protected] will become increasingly important this year – around March – which whom it serves, the College’s stu- ■ If everyone boiled only the in support of this position.” coincided with the first annual Im- dents and staff. water needed to make a cup Advertise your Events here! However, this spirit is rather perial College Green Week (6th of tea rather than filling the contradictory to the website infor- – 10th March). For more information visit: kettle, we could save enough Contact environment.felix@ mation, which doesn’t include the “Estates have developed this http://www3.imperial.ac.uk/ electricity to run practically imperial.ac.uk to advertise energy policy itself. Worse still, scheme to comply with the Col- facilitiesmanagement/energy. all the street lighting in the your society’s events in this some of the web links, for example lege’s environmental policy and to If you would like to help organise country. section! the College’s Carbon Management meet the demands of the college Green Week, contact João at (Source: DETR) Programme, have expired. staff and students,” confirming [email protected]. Friday 27 October 2006 felix 7

BUSINESS [email protected] Europe’s impending pension crisis By 2050, the rising proportion of elderly people means that there will be only two adults per pensioner

Paul Estruch of proposals in a white paper ear- Business Correspondent lier this year, based on the recom- mendations of Lord Turner. It has Old people are getting older, with been set out that the retirement the average person living to be 76, age is going to be raised gradually five years longer than was in the from the year 2024, so that by 2048 1960s. The reasons: people have the minimum age for withdrawing better lifestyles, better healthcare a state pension is 68. The govern- and new medicines. Worryingly, ment also wants to introduce a Na- whilst the old are multiplying, the tional Pension Scheme in the year young are not. This is amplified by 2012. 4% of a person’s salary will be the baby boomers, born after the paid in to the scheme, with the em- Second World War, who are now ployer paying an additional 3% and reaching retirement age. Exacer- the government 1% into it. The gov- bated by the low birth-rate of 1.47 ernment is hoping that the National children per woman, European Pension Scheme will counteract populations are getting smaller. All any fall in state pensions caused this combined is changing the pop- by the growing size of the older ulation distribution from a pyramid generations. to a more top-heavy shape. By the There are some people out there year 2050, the year I am due to start that believe there is, and will be, no receiving my state pension, there The current retirement ages of 60 and 65, for men and women respectively, are set to rise dramatically pension crisis. It is thought amongst will only be 2 adults per person over some that the change in ratio of the age of 65. young to old will be offset by the The retirement age in the UK ing the length of time people will forced to retire, whilst others would The government has recognised increase of productivity. Further to is currently 65 for men, and 60 for be withdrawing from their pension enjoy a part time job for a little ex- this want of pensioners and as of the this, immigration is increasing and women. However this is going to schemes. With each year life ex- tra money and to keep them men- 1st of October, new age discrimina- will continue to increase, with the start to rise with the retirement age pectancy increases, there is in an tally sharp. tion laws have come in to affect. It is acceptance of Bulgaria and Roma- for women reaching 65 by the year increase of 4% to pension scheme Some employers frown upon hir- now illegal to discriminate against nia in to the EU. These immigrants 2020. In most EU countries, people liabilities. This is becoming a very ing these very experienced workers. someone because of their age if provide needed relief to the work depend on state pensions when real and very expensive problem They can be seen as having a very they are under 65 and people over force, helping to bolster the work- they retire. With the state pension for companies and could spell dis- short shelf life and some bosses do 65 need to be given 6 months notice ing force, supporting the elderly. in the UK being under £100 a week, aster to any who underestimate it. not like the idea of having someone when an employer wants them to Undoubtedly we will have to con- it makes for quite a meagre living. As it is linked to the stock market, more experienced and possibly retire. This, in theory, should help tinue working to an older age than The government is encouraging if the economy was to slow down more qualified working below them. to get the elderly out of retirement, our parents. If we want a reason- people to put money in to their own companies may not be able to pro- Many of the older generations are not only meaning they do not need able standard of living, so we can pension schemes. vide the pensions they said they returning to work, though. There the support of the government and enjoy our twighlight years, we have It is not just state pensions which would. Their mistakes could end up has been a big increase in part time living a better life, but paying taxes to expect to either pay higher taxes are in trouble. Last month, Dav- costing us in higher rates or lower work for the elderly in places such to help support others. or make contributions into a pen- id Norgrove, from the Pensions pay out rates once we have retired. as supermarkets who utilise the The government recognises what sion scheme almost as soon as we Regulator, expressed his concerns The elderly want to help combat older generations experience and a big problem the pension crisis graduate from our courses, and about companies underestimat- the pension crisis. Some have been excellent people skills. could become and has set out a list make it a priority.

This week’s business news

Craig Lukins ■ Markets have remained buoyant ver of Arcelor by Mittal Steel (an- Emily Tam despite mounting evidence that the other Indian steel maker) in June Business Correspondents US economy is heading for a “hard this year. landing”. It is increasingly likely ■ Shares in the Industrial and that the Federal Reserve will keep ■ Toshiba, the Japanese industrial Commercial Bank of China will rates at 5.25%, rather than making giant, is to sue Sony for damages begin trading this Friday in what the economy-boosting cut that had to its brand image after the recall is likely to be the world’s largest been hoped for. Despite this, falling of about 830,000 of its laptops that ever IPO. The flotation of ICBC, oil prices have seen the FTSE 100 contain Sony’s allegedly dangerous China’s biggest lender, gener- retain ground and the Dow Jones lithium-ion batteries. ated huge interest last week, with Industrial Average break 12,000 for The batteries, which have re- orders for the 5% portion of the the first time. portedly overheated and burst into shares allocated to retail inves- flame, have been installed in laptops tors 49 times over subscribed in ■ Corus, the Anglo-Dutch steel- of several different manufacturers, Shanghai. Such interest is likely maker, confirmed it accepted a leading to a global recall of about to see the shares priced at the £5.1bn takeover bid from India’s 8 million Sony batteries, with US top of the proposed range of Tata Steel, in a deal that would cre- market leaders Dell and Apple re- $0.33–$0.39. ate the world’s sixth-largest steel calling 6 million batteries between With the IPO split between the producer. Corus and Tata Steel have them. Sony last week announced a Hong Kong and Shanghai mar- agreed a cash offer, valuing Corus huge revision to its operating prof- kets, ICBC stands to raise up to at 455p per share, which will be put its forecast for the full year. $16bn in Hong Kong and $5.8bn to shareholders over the coming The battery recall is expected to on the mainland, trumping the months. The Tata-Corus deal would cost Sony up to £180 million, based $18.4bn float of NTT DoCoMo be India’s largest foreign takeover, only on the cost of replacing the The Commercial Bank of China is set to be the world’s largest IPO in 1998. These figures assume reinstating Asia’s current strength faulty batteries, and not including greenshoes (the ability to is- in the steel industry. the potentially huge compensation sue more shares than initially The deal, which includes an equi- costs if legal action is carried out ■ David Cameron and Gordon cent, and the abolition of stamp planned in case of heavy demand) ty value of £4.1bn and around £1bn against them. Sony reported that Brown have sought to win the sup- duty on share transactions. Cur- will be exercised. The success of in debt, was not received well by operating profits would be 62 per port of the City in their pledges for rently at a rate of 0.5 per cent, the offering was due in part to Standard Life, one of Corus’ larg- cent below its previous forecast, at the premiership. In a meeting with there have been increasing calls investors’ desire to access the est shareholders. The investment Y50bn rather than Y130bn, despite leading City figures Mr Brown pro- from the financial sector to scrap booming Chinese economy, with company, who own a 7.9 per cent an unchanged revenue forecast of posed a significant review of the tax this tax, an issue that Mr Brown risk reduced due to the Chinese stake, says the deal undervalues Y8,230bn. The situation has been system aimed at reducing regula- has as yet failed to address. government’s backing of ICBC. Corus, and has not yet commented exacerbated by recent problems tion by “at least 25 per cent”. Mr These proposed measures aim to The company has also done much on whether or not they will accept in its games division. Sony’s huge Cameron’s Conservative Party pub- keep the City an attractive place recently to reduce a soaring non- Tata’s offer. The deal maintains the investment in its much hyped Play- lished a review that also recognised to do business. By changing the performing loan ratio with a re- trend of rapid consolidation within Station 3 has yet to be realised as a the need for simplification of taxes tax regime, London will hope to structuring that has made the the steel sector, the most recently result of launch delays and a reduc- and further recommended a cut in remain competitive with global bank competitive. publicised being the £18.1bn takeo- tion in price and initial shipments. corporation tax, from 30 to 25 per financial centres. 8 felix Friday 27 October 2006 Comment&Opinion Who will influence whom? Letter Is it in the interests of Imperial students to pay tens of thousands of pounds to the from an NUS when our interests often confict with some of those of the current members? ex-editor s postgraduates, we’ve situation is only set to get worse.” dent activists more concerned with been around Imperial Ben Harris provides the following foreign policy than student issues. for quite a while – 5 or take on the campaign on the union We have no voice that can be heard. Dear Andy, 6 years in fact. We re- website, “Top-up fees of £3000 have What’s worse, we might even end member the last NUS arrived on campus. Student debt up with policies at odds with our Firstly, congratulations on hit- Adebate, which was full-bodied and stands at record levels and looks needs, due to policies drifting down- ting the ground running as the lively, with a sabbatical leading the set to reach up to £44,000. And it’s wards from the NUS. Former NUS new ‘Editor-in-Chief’ of Felix. Yes campaign and an ex-sabb lead- about to get worse.” Much of the presidents – Charles Clarke for ex- However, I couldn’t help but feel ing the No campaign. The result text appears to come directly from ample – actively pushed for top-up a little upset with some of your was an overwhelming 72% in favour the NUS, with a small degree of fees despite the NUS opposition. coverage these first few weeks. of remaining outside the NUS. paraphrasing. The impression is If we do not join, we have only our I’m not entirely sure why you This time around things have of a union whose fees policy is be- own voice. We will need to shout feel you have had to belittle my changed. The key argument is that ing driven by the NUS campaign, loudly to be heard, but we cannot editorship of Felix on so many once we pull out of the University of rather than an independent, freely be suppressed by the views of other occasions – in your (otherwise London we’ll no longer have a un- discussed ICU policy. unions who’s needs our different excellent) handbook, in your first ion bigger than us – University of If our policies are already influ- from ours. We are the 3rd-best uni- editorial of the year and in last London Union in this case – to fight enced by the NUS, what would versity in the country and 9th-best week’s edition. our corner at a higher level. Many happen when we finally joined? in the world. We have the 4th-best You may not agree with poor misguided souls feel we will ICU should be defending its own medical school in the world, after some of the things we did last have no voice without joining the students, not students all across Oxford, Cambridge and Harvard. year, but winning four Guard- Oliver Pell NUS, as evidenced by the publicity the country. Our lab-based cours- We have a loud voice if we want ian Student Media Nomina- stunt during freshers week (see the es require an increase in funding one – look at the fuss over the dress tions is quite a success story. photo on the article). They need to from somewhere, presumably from code. That debacle resulted in the “In what may surprise some take a serious look at what’s going cheaper non-lab courses. A cen- Guardian linking to our news serv- of those he antagonized in the on around them. tral national body (the NUS) will er, along with coverage on London Union and College, the previous The key question to ask, is “would be obliged to defend funding for all Tonight, BBC News Online, India editor, Rupert Neate, has been we influence the NUS, or be influ- courses, even though it would not Times, The Daily Mail and even The nominated twice”, is sniping and enced by them?” The answer is be best for our current and future Register. Finally, there was the top- counterproductive. To write such plain to see, if you look at the atti- students. up fees debate from 2002 in which a disparaging news story and tude of certain sabbaticals. The ICU Another question to ask is what the silent protest was covered by rather pettily choosing a weird website contains an announcement degree of representation would we the press. picture of me (face painted as a by Deputy President (Education get from a group so fundamentally Let’s not forget that the NUS lost Tiger) seems a little… bitter? & Welfare) Ben Harris of the NUS different from us in their views? the last top-up fee campaign and has Telling the readers of your first anti-fees march on Sunday. While the NUS national conference had very few successes in England editorial you had “inherited a Whilst the march is a worthwhile discusses issues such as foreign af- while the Labour government has Felix thoroughly disliked by both venture, ICU appears to be losing fairs, Imperial tries to keep those been in power. A lot of NUS officers staff and students” is just untrue an independent voice already. Im- out of union committees, preferring want to become Labour MPs (and (sorry if it’s not a direct quote, perial’s delegation will join the NUS to focus on student issues instead. often succeed), which may have but you haven’t updated the web- London region, rather than working We would be one voice among thou- something to do with it. Our fluffy site at all despite promising to do with non-NUS affiliated institutions sands, no more powerful than un- pro-NUS sabbs – ICU President so in your election campaign). such as Southampton. ions such as Manchester – a union John Collins and DPEW Ben Har- At the end of the day, you’re The NUS introduces the cam- which has not spoken to its Vice ris – are also both supporters of the not just insulting me by belittling Ashley Brown paign on its website as follows: Chancellor for several years, be- Labour party, along with the leader Felix’s success, but all those who “Top-up fees of up to £3,000 are cause of his stance on fees. of the ‘Yes’ campaign, Alex Guite. worked so hard to make the pa- here. Student debt is at its highest If we join, our own voice will get When voting, think very carefully per what it was last year – many and applications to university de- drowned out in an organisation full about whose welfare these people of whom still work on your staff. creased by nearly 4% this year. This of career politicians and those stu- are looking out for. It’s a shame you can’t feel proud of the fact that Felix has

ILLUSTRATION: MATTY HOBAN been nominated four times. Per- haps you should stop attacking “If we join, our my editorship and concentrate on what really matters to read- voice will get ers – doing a good job with yours.

drowned out in Yours, Rupert Neate an organisation Felix Editor 2005-2006 full of career politicians and Dear Rupert, Firstly, thanks for your compli- those student ments on my handbook. I feel the opinions expressed in activists more my editorial adequately backed up the feelings of the general concerned with population of the College. As for the editorial team, well, they foreign policy seem happy with my leadership; the free pizza for those working than student with me late at night might have helped. That tiger photo is appar- issues” ently one of your favourites; you used it for your columns in the past. Perhaps you’ve forgotten? If you take a look at the website now, you’ll see a placeholder. The new site will launch next term. Good luck with your journalism course; I’m sure you’ll fit right in.

Yours, Andy Sykes Friday 27 October 2006 felix 9

COMMENT & OPINION [email protected] Journos of the In reply, about the veil world unite Samuel Lynas responds to Omar Hashmi’s comments about Jack Straw

eading and re-reading Omar those who insist we consign traditional wonders, could conceivably constitute Hashmi’s opinion piece of ideas of freedom of speech to the trash- an internal threat to a society, any soci- last week on the current can, as demanded by irate Muslim com- ety, if not those very things? What does debate stirred up by Jack munities throughout Europe (and the he believe underlies the turmoil that Straw’s comments on the world) during the Salman Rushdie and leaps out at us from the pages of virtu- Rwearing of the Muslim veil (“Weighing Mohammed cartoon crises? Should ally any history book? Leprechauns? in on the veil issue”, Felix 1360), I felt we introduce new legislation to explic- Mr Hashmi goes on to inform us that an unexpected surge of empathy in re- itly ban the criminal practice of forced as long as conversation between seem- sponse to his question: “To what end marriages, rather than relying on a pot- ingly opposed groups is “conservative, does it serve [sic] making some look dif- pourri of existing legislation relating to suitable and necessary”, it should be ferent, isolated, weak and suspicious?” kidnap and the like? “fine”. But this slightly sinister and Stephen Brown Let us leave to one side the obvious ob- Of course not. For this might bring vaguely authoritarian wording is a man- jection that it is not Jack Straw’s com- us into contact with the bad-tempered ifestation of the problem, not a route to Comment Editor ments but the veil itself, which makes men with the placards, their faces con- its solution. Many Muslims, it seems, people look different, and, dare I say it, torted with rage at the discovery that cannot help but insist that interaction f you have been reading our esteemed publica- suspicious. What Mr Hashmi is in es- there exist people on this planet who take place on their terms. No Moham- tion over the past few weeks you will be aware sence asking is: “What can Jack Straw have the temerity to question their be- med jokes, no bombs in turbans, no Sa- that student journalists are being persecuted by hope to achieve by putting these women liefs and values. This clearly being an tanic Verses, no unsolicited comments high-minded, arrogant sabbatical officers across under the spotlight?” This is indeed a unacceptable option, Jack Straw has about the veil, no exceptions. Where do the country. We had the dubious pleasure of enter- legitimate question, and one I feel I can wisely (albeit cravenly) decided to hack we think we are? Britain? These days, Itaining some of them last week when the Union Presi- answer. off that part of the problem that looks one rather wonders. dents of The Aldwych Group came all the way to South Jack Straw has fired a salvo at what likely to yield the greatest benefit for As for the tired old claim that it is al- Ken to have a chit-chat and a fairly uninspiring picnic. would, in military parlance, be referred the least cost. Hence his comments ways the actions of others that account Our editor Andy attempted to discuss issues surround- to as a target of opportunity, that is to about the veil, an ultimately harmless for the violence of Muslims, perhaps Mr ing freedom of the press in their constituencies. Unsur- say, a target made attractive not by its item of only secondary interest at best. Hashmi could explain why Sunni and prisingly the few that he approached did not seem too intrinsic value but by its vulnerability. Such are the times we live in. Shi’a Muslims are so intent on slaugh- enthusiastic to discuss these matters with ULU Presi- As unassimilated – and arguably unas- I will not expect Mr Hashmi to share tering each other in Iraq and other Mus- dent Vicki Slater becoming particularly defensive when similable – Muslim populations repre- my opinions of the problems that Islam lim countries over a succession dispute asked about the future of London Student. sent an ever-greater threat to the secu- poses for Britain and other European that took place over 1300 years ago in Who on earth these people think they are and why they rity of many Western European states, countries; indeed, he has made it clear the sands of Arabia. If some Muslims should be protected from lowly newspaper columnists is even those as marinated in the miasma that he does not. However, in the spirit are prepared to kill each other for such beyond me. What is important though is that the student of multiculturalism as our current gov- of the communication he hopes to en- farcical reasons, is it unreasonable to press remains united in the face of such brazen hostility ernment have finally realised that the gender, I will express my alarm that he suggest that still others might be pre- from bruised political egos. Imperial College has a long ramifications of leaving this problem seems puzzled by the idea that people pared to kill non-Muslims on the basis and proud history of a free press. In addition to Felix unchecked could be horrendous. with different ‘core values’ or who fa- of even less legitimate grievances? Mr we have our own television channel, radio station and a But how best to confront it? Should vour different ‘systems of governing life’ Hashmi might do well to consider the thriving news server, Live (live.cgcu.net), run by City & we, perhaps, make a bold stand against could be a danger to society. What, one possibility. As might the rest of us. Guilds College Union. As you have probably noticed the upcoming referendum on NUS affiliation has sparked a fierce debate which continue to be fought through these pages and Live contains several well-informed articles on this subject, amongst others. This is why I am very pleased that Live and Felix are now working more close- NHS ambulance nightmare ly than ever before, with Felix now “syndicating” contri- butions to their website which will now also link to arti- cles that have appeared on these hallowed pages. Live and notified me that an ambulance was minutes after the ambulance left, I real- are in the process of setting up a webpage that will give on its way. I was really appreciative of ised that I shouldn’t have taken that and both sides of the debate with contributions from both the the kind and supportive service, but my let my friend go to the hospital alone. “No” campaign team and the Imperial College Union perspective on the NHS changed when It turned out that my friend hadn’t Labour Supporters Network, or the “Yes” campaign, as the ambulance arrived and the whole been take to St Mary’s. The error they prefer to be known. If you are interested in the de- evening just went downhill. caused us distress and confusion for a bate on the NUS and how much it will cost our clubs and The two drivers walked out of the am- good half an hour, as we ran around the societies I would recommend that you have a look. bulance. I greeted the drivers, whose city, trying to locate our friend. After Along similar lines, I find the following information expressions immediately changed about two hours, the nurses dispatched rather curious. Both a senior Union source and a promi- when they saw us. They started to de- us, telling my friend to rest and that nent member of the Yes campaign have stated that NUS mand who called the ambulance, and nothing major was wrong. activists who are invited to campaign in favour of joining I, upon confirming, received a bashing The pain continued till Monday, when will be “screened”. This is because they are aware that about how the situation was inappro- my friend returned to his home country the typical NUS activist (a highly political, loony left Poly- priate: my friend wasn’t bleeding, was in Europe. From what his father told us versity arts student) will not go down too well with your conscious, and was able to walk (albeit that evening, my friend was diagnosed average Imperial student (apathetic, studies a “proper” Valerio Chang barely) – basically the situation wasn’t with a frontal spontaneous epidural degree, will be able to obtain gainful employment). If we lethal enough. haematoma for the medics, and for the are talking about joining an organisation then surely we They shouted at the patients for be- rest of us ‘a leaking vein’, and clotting should have the honour of seeing a wide cross section of ecently, a friend of mine ing cheap students who took advantage blood was trapped under the skull sup- its activists and not just the ones least likely to piss us in halls came down with a of the system, instead of taking a cab. pressing the nerves around his brain. off? What is even more startling is that those in favour headache that his doctor di- We apparently wanted to save money He was in the operating theatre within of joining are so aware the negative aspects of the NUS agnosed as an eye infection, by calling an ambulance. My friend three hours of his plane landing in his that they have to plan their campaign to minimise their saying he shouldn’t worry recalled being told on the way to the home city. A surgery to his skull was impact. Sounds a bit shifty to me. Rabout it. Three days later the pain in- hospital that the drivers scolded him peformed, without which he would have creased, and the hospital told him that for depriving people who are having been dead within a week, according to it was probably sinusitis. Then, on Sat- heart attacks and bleeding to death of his doctor. By the time he was back in urday, I found him moaning in pain and the service and that he could be legally university again, all was well as before, felix incapable of doing anything due to the sued for this abuse. except for a scar. throbbing pain in his head. As a result, I was shocked at this unexpected at- The reason I am publicising the inci- Editor-in-chief Andy Sykes | Managing Editor Alex he had not eaten or slept for more than tack; didn’t the university say that we dent is that I want everybody to know Antonov | Deputy Editors Tomo Roberts & Becky three days. The situation continued into should not be afraid to ask for help on about how you could be treated when Warren | Science Editor Krystyna Larkham | Business the evening, when a friend and I decid- the first day? And the medical centre you call the ambulance, and be pre- Editor Michael Olymbios | Music Editors Matthew ed to take him to the hospital. who said no emergency was too small? pared if this happens. I also want to tell Hoban, Jenny Gibson, Tom Whitson | Film Editor I stood on Exhibition Road for more I explained unavailability of taxis to the the ambulance service of the unimagi- Angela Lee | Arts Editor Emily Lines | Fashion Editor than ten minutes trying to hail a cab drivers, who disregarded it as a lie, and nable attitude of their staff. I don’t think Dolly Delaney | Nightlife Editor Alex Baldwin | with no success, so, reminded how hor- pushed the patient into the ambulance that we should have been treated the Comment Editor Stephen Brown | Environment ribly torturing my friend’s pain was, I in the manner that police treat crimi- way we were, given the circumstances. Editor João Vitor Serra | Clubs & Societies Editor decided to call an ambulance. nals. When my friend and I followed, Health is a priority as a student. Per- Kirsty Patterson | Grammar Gestapo Andrew I’ve never called an ambulance before, the drivers pushed us away, telling us haps this article will prompt improve- Somerville, Jesse Garman, Christina Swasey knowing that it is a valuable resource to take a taxi to the hospital to give us a ments in the future, make wardens in not to be taken lightly. However, being lesson that ambulances are not free. the halls be aware that this happened first year students in a foreign country I asked which hospital, and they re- or alternatively I’m just making a fool Felix, Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB. Tel 020 7594 in excruciating pain and having no oth- plied St Mary’s. I was abhorred at this of myself by calling the ambulance 8072. Fax 020 7594 8065. Printed by The Northcliffe Press, Northcliffe er means of traveling seemed to justify treatment and too shocked to demand when I shouldn’t. Whichever one it is, House, Meadow Road, Derby DE1 2DW. No 1,361, Friday 27 October 2006. the use. I dialed; the lady on the other the response that we deserved. As my I will be glad if either one of us learns Registered newspaper ISSN 1040-0711. Copyright © Felix 2006. end asked me some standard questions friends and I climbed into a taxi ten something. unionpage

NUS – Good, Bad, or just plain Ugly? Update Only you can decide… from the President

On Friday the 13th November, a petition containing signatures else, this vote will aff ect you. The Imperial College and of over 5% of the Full Members of this Union was submitted Like the NUS or not, want to be ICU Centenary calling for a referendum on whether or not Imperial should a part of it or would rather sever Imperial College Union was affi liate to the National Union of Students. What does this vital parts of your anatomy with founded in 1907, the same mean? Well, in short, a hell of a lot of people have said that a blunt piece of cutlery, this vote time as Imperial College was after fi ve years, itʼs time you had your say. How many people is will aff ect you. Things are going formed by the City and Guilds this really? Think about every undergrad in Aero, then double to change for us all next year, you College, the Royal College of them, or the whole of EEE if double Aero is a bit too scary for get to infl uence how. The good Science and the Royal School you, then add a few and youʼll be just about there. old IC apathy is well known by the Jon Matthews of Mines coming together to John Collins older hands amongst us, weʼve Deputy President form this great institution. President So what? Well, Iʼm not going to go into any of the arguments, seen it all before, some of us have Next year will be the Collegeʼs thatʼs not my job, but this is a big deal. You have the biggest, even had this debate before. So (Finance & Services) and the Unionʼs 100th [email protected] ʻbestestʼ and probably only chance (unless you end up hanging what has changed? Weʼre in a [email protected] anniversary and this is clearly around here as long as I have) to change the way the Union is whole new ball-game now, weʼre a superb occasion to celebrate and publicise. represented and seen on the national stage, or not. Thatʼs the leaving ULU, Imperial is becoming scale of what we are talking about. a University in its own right, tuition fees are changing. The old The centenary is not only a brilliant opportunity to raise debate is no longer valid, most of us here for the last one have the profi le of both the Union and the College with our So what about the good, the bad and the ugly? Well, the Pro- left. We need to see that the situation has changed and a new alumni; it is also a chance to raise money for student camp will be more than happy to tell you about the good, the debate is needed on both sides. Those of you who have joined projects such as the hardship fund, the Beit Building Anti-camp about the bad, and Iʼm here in case it all gets ugly. Imperial since the last referendum deserve your own say. There project, and any initiatives that our clubs, societies or are people whom have joined Imperial since the last referendum faculty unions may wish to publicise. ICU is working Itʼs your say that counts, you have a voice and we are listening. yet graduated two days ago. A whole series of members have closely with the College to ensure that we make the most The biggest decision this Union can ever take is going to be passed through, we have moved on and so must the debate. of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and create a legacy made over fi ve days in November. Teams of people are going that we can all be proud of. to be trying to infl uence you and persuade you one way or So, how can you get involved? You can contact the leaders of another, they will both have good arguments, they will both either camp if you want more information or have already made Traditional College-wide Union events such as the be sure that they are right. Which of them are? Thatʼs your your mind up and want to help with the campaign. You can Summer Ball, East Meets West and Artsfest will adopt a decision. turn up to the public debates but most of all, you can vote. centenary theme this year and whilst large events will form an important part of our events programme, it is For the next three weeks, you are not going to be able to hide Listen, think, vote. Please. Remember, our future is in your equally essential that our faculty unions and as many from the debate, those three little letters are going to become hands, that may sound melodramatic, but it really is… clubs and societies as possible organise their own the biggest thing to hit campus since Facebook. centenary activities throughout the year. It is also vital Jon Matthews that we coordinate this plethora of celebratory activities Live!, Felix and stoic tv will be featuring debates and Deputy President (Finance and Services) in a sensible fashion and in order to achieve this we will discussions, the walkway will become a gauntlet of fl ierers to Returning Offi cer, NUS referendum. be distributing centenary advice packs to all of our clubs, put Oxford Streetʼs chuggers to shame, there will be public societies and faculty union committees detailing how to debates between the two camps. run centenary branded events in the very near future. To contact the pro-campaign Is this a good thing? Should you be allowed to just carry on email [email protected] Preparations for the Summer Ball, which is being branded with your lunch or your mad dash to that lecture that started as the “Centenary Ball” this year, are now underway and fi ve minutes ago? Why should you vote? Iʼm not going to Jon Matthews (Deputy President for Finance & Services) answer those questions, but I will answer a diff erent one: To contact the anti-campaign is presently recruiting students who may be interested Who doesnʼt need to vote? If your life is an Utopia to make email [email protected] in joining our working group. If you or any of your Sir Thomas Moore green with envy; if every evening you stroll friends may be interested in helping us with this event back from your lectures along a coral beach into a sunset under then please contact Jon ([email protected]). If you are which everyone dances together holding hands; if you truly, To contact the Returning Offi cer interested in any other aspect of the centenary project genuinely live an untroubled existence of perfection in which email [email protected] then please feel free to email me (president@imperial. nothing can change, then you donʼt need to vote. Everyone ac.uk) or the centenary project manager and Medic President, sometimes aff ectionately referred to as DPMC (Deputy President for Medics & Centenary), Shiv Chopra ([email protected]).

Remember; centenaries only happen once every 100 years! This is your one and only chance to get yourself or your club or society involved in this great occasion. So, if you are even remotely interested in organising a centenary activity this year then please get in touch with us as soon as possible. And fi nally - PLEASE VOTE! Please do not forget to vote! The polls have just opened and can be accessed by logging on to our website: www.imperialcollegeunion.org/vote. Voting closes at 23:59 on Tuesday 31st and the results will be announced in Da Vinciʼs at 12:30 on Thursday 2nd November. Centenary Ball 2007

Get involved with the biggest party in the College, EVER!

We need volunteers to help in our Centenary Ball team. If you think you can help then get in contact with Jon Matthews, Deputy President (Finance & Services), [email protected].

Imperial College Union, Beit Quadrangle, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB imperialcollegeunion.org Tel: 020 7594 8060 VOTE

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imperialcollegeunion.org/vote last opportunity limitless possibilities [24th November 2006]

There’s still time to apply for a career with Merrill Lynch – but not for long! So if you are looking for a strong foundation where you can explore diverse career options whilst working alongside industry-leading professionals, it’s time to move ahead. Expect to be a contributor, a collaborator and a colleague.

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ml.com/careers/europe Friday 27 October 2006 felix 13 eviews RMUSIC [email protected] This week’s diet of guitars The Kooks impress live despite critical backlash and golden oldies underachieve

live review random projectiles and unintended The closer, Pull Me In, proved to through the sea of plastic cups and violence dealt out by the various, be the highlight, with both the band various liquids on my way out, I numerous inebriated fans present and the crowd’s infectious enthusi- couldn’t help thinking about what would have looked like a full-scale asm soaring, which climaxed with the frontman of Razorlight, Johnny riot from afar. This is something Luke crowd-surfing. He was lucky Borrell, once said about The Kooks, you would not normally associate not to have been sucked down into branding their music 'shit' and the with The Kooks, undeniably, it was the pit of screeching girls already lead singer 'boring'. The Kooks all the better for it. gripping his trousers legs. soon retorted, dedicating the single Matty Hoban The Kooks After only five songs I smelt A special mention must go to their Naïve to Borrell. Shepherds Bush Empire strongly of beer and, interestingly, as yet unreleased songs – scattered After experiencing such a memo- Music Editor cannabis smoke – no wonder the liberally throughout their playlist – rable performance, I can whole- people behind me announced that all of which proved as popular with heartedly say that anyone who It seemed almost ironic that during they could actually see the music. the crowd as their debut album claims they produce sub-standard s anyone else extremely the closing moments of their pivotal You could certainly feel the emo- material. music is truly Naïve. bored with the amount of and evidently most popular track, tion of the band, though; the music After the gig, as I was plodding Robin Andrews coverage given to any old Naïve, the words ‘Just don’t let me flowed down into the crowd as they politician giving their two down’ rang out as everyone in the towered over us all on the stage, cents on the ‘veil debate’? I ecstatic crowd outstretched their whilst everyone present was mar- Ihave ceased to have an opin- hands to the ceiling. Not one person vellously illuminated by some spec- ion either way and have been showed the slightest sign of disap- tacular lighting effects. reduced to an apolitical mess. A pointment throughout the gig. She Moves In Her Own Way worm of opinion if you will. I am I was given no time to adapt to made its appearance about halfway ROBIN ANDREWS going to take you on a tenuous the level of uncontrollable hyste- through, and those in the standing journey related to this, so hold ria the crowd suddenly achieved area were doing anything but. Their on. as The Kooks ventured out onto hands were swinging erratically, Something I feared as a result the stage. Before any instruments beer was sprayed liberally all over of all this talk is giving London were picked up I was already suit- the place, and several people disap- band The Veils publicity. I am able crushed by squealing girls peared into the pulsating crowd. somewhat surprised that the and blaring men, with beer already The encore began after the crowd lead singer of this band has dripping slowly down my neck. Sea- decided to impersonate a stamped- chirped in with what he thinks side was the perfect opener, it built ing herd of wild rhinoceroses, and we should do with people’s up the indie-flavoured atmosphere amazingly people quietened down religious freedom. If you look- with a fantastic acoustic sound- to listen to some new solo work by ing for an answer to extremism scape, bringing a smile to even the Luke. He wowed even the most ex- and integration – not that kind, most sardined person. citable, drunken fan by once again maths fans – then don’t look for Eddie’s Gun burst into life and the demonstrating his skills on an it in between the mundane lyrics thunderous cheering by the crowd, acoustic. The Kooks in a scene of cabbage-leaf green of said band. Quite frankly, The Veils are boring and typical of 3 million guitar bands around at the minute. Which leads me onto the point of this rants. Guitar music has Oldies fail to nourish ears these days seen a bit of a renaissance lately, what with My Chemical Ro- mance becoming chart toppers. single reviews man yelping along to his admittedly single I possess by the band follows Hell is For Heroes (the pop band Now, don’t get me wrong, guitar pretty funky songs makes my fists that formula. of the scene), Aereogramme (the music was my first love but I Radio 4 itch, so I’ll humour them. To be honest if you’re really lazy, heavy band on the scene), Reuben can’t help sighing with disil- Packing Things Up On The Scene Dance-like drum rhythm. Check. Radio 4 aren’t the worst place to (the teenagers of the scene) and lusionment at every new band (EMI) Squelchy bassline. Check. Slightly look for that indie-rock-dance cross- Biffy Clyro (the most imaginative that gets labelled with the ‘up HHIII yelpy nonsensical lyrics. Check. over, but there are a hundred simi- of the scene). Unfortunately for the and coming’ tag. None of these Goes on for about 8 minutes. Check. lar, better bands out there and they ‘Reasons even though they predate attempt to be challenging or It has got nice touches, like a piano don’t have a cowbell. Listen to The these bands, and I think I’m correct innovative. I’m always a bit dubious when bands intro, some good use of guitar (a Rapture instead, they’re better. in saying that all of them have sup- Yes, I am a music purist. But put the word ‘scene’ in their song lot of this kind of music has awful James Millen ported HR at some point, they’ve it isn’t just me who is bored by or album titles, it usually means guitar), and a bit of nifty chanting never really had the success and/or the current crop of ‘indie’ bands, that they’re desperately scenester towards the end. You know, it prob- critical acclaim that has been en- I’m certain of it. I remember whilst desperately trying to deny ably took them a day in the studio, Hundred Reasons joyed by the others. when bands used to say things it (hello The Cribs). Also, everyone but they put in some sort of effort. The Chance The band is technically excellent with their music but now bands knows that Radio 4 are a poor man’s Except with the b-sides, I hate (V2) live, and many of their songs are come along with watered down LCD Soundsystem. Luckily for Ra- it when the b-sides are just two HHIII complex, but to be honest they’re messages of watching girls dio 4 something about that fat white remixes and a radio edit, and every boring. Now new single The Chance dance and dancing with girls. is about the dullest thing that’s ever You should give bands who aren’t Hundred Reasons are pretty emo. been played on my shiny new MP3 immediately accessible but are Disagree? Well shuddupayaface player. The band sound bored; it’s innovative a chance. Don’t sub- because I once talked to them quiet, it’s repetitive, no real struc- mit to the catchy riff or dumb, and they freely admitted to hav- ture, simplistic drumming, and an obvious hook. That’s what the big ing kick-started the British strain emo-er than thou “Will you remem- record labels – who want nothing of emo (Brit-emo? Limyemo? Fish ber me now” outro. but your money – want you to do. ‘n’ Ch-emo?). They suggested that In contrast the b-side, the yawn- To round off my socialist perhaps they were, and I misquote, somely titled Live Fast, Die Ugly is diatribe, here are three guitar ‘The Grandfathers of British emo’. over-the-top rock. It’s not a patch band reviews. Two that have Nothin’ to be proud of boys, and on their previous work; it’s achingly been around a while and were also, up until latest offering The obvious Hundred Reasons by num- once exciting, now are struggling Chance also factually incorrect. bers. Oh well guys, you had a good to achieve. The other review is The ‘Reasons debut Ideas Above run, and you can probably continue of The Kooks, a young band who our Station was imaginative and half selling-out the Astoria for three make music for consumption, novel for this country, a prime ex- years if you have good enough tour- not appreciation. This is all my ample of what, for want of a bet- ing partners. Proof that fancy web- opinion by the way, please feel ter name, I’d call Brit Rock. Other sites and nifty graphical design free to challenge it. It would such advocates of this were Kinesis cannot save your career. make a better debate than all The Hundred Reasons could do with a riff-sandwich to pick them up (the political band of the scene), James Millen this nonsense about veils. 14 felix Friday 27 October 2006

FILM fi [email protected] Scream! The Grudge returns again Alex Casey ventures to the cinema in search of a decent sequel and albino spirits but finds familar territory

Referencing Scream seems clichéd The story picks up shortly after the nowadays when discussing hor- first one left off, although the heavy ror films, but there is a sequel rule exposition throughout means you that secretly worries everyone no can get the gist of its predecessor matter how much they enjoyed the without sitting through it (though I original ie: they are generally crap. recommend that you should). Ten years on and Hollywood still Here the story has three separate cashes in with remakes, a low artis- strands where we meet fairly two- tic merit, high profit margin culture. dimensional characters that fail to So can a film that ticks both boxes development throughout. One in- ever make an entertaining hit? The volving a schoolgirl daring to enter Ring 2, possibly the closest relative the original haunted house, one cen- to The Grudge 2, left audiences di- tred on the sister of Gellar’s charac- vided. Unfortunately, The Grudge 2 ter finding out the truth about her will struggle to do that. sister’s ordeal, and one concerning It suffers primarily from leaving a family in Chicago (Why? Who behind the claustrophobic nature of knows…) and their encounter with being stuck in a foreign country in the Japanese curse. The lact of plot a haunted house and trying (as did conclusion and warped chronology The Ring sequel) to make a more leave a sour taste. omnipresent fear. It also relies Not caring for the main charac- heavily on coincidence: in Tokyo ter or anyone else, means Jennifer there will always be a helpful Eng- Beals still has Flashdance on top lish speaking stranger (even the of her resumé and Gellar will omit mother of murderous ghosts from it altogether, whilst Amber Tam- an isolated village…) so you never blyn (yes, of The Sisterhood of the believe the characters are as bewil- Travelling Pants) still hasn’t got a dered as those of the first film. big break. But, the actors do alright The opening is reminiscent of the with the little they have to work prequel so depending on your view with. While Oscar won’t be calling of this, you may already be making any time soon, they’re watchable your way back past the ticket coun- despite moments of mandatory ter, but if that’s the case, why did melodrama. you buy the ticket? The ghosts/de- But the main question: Is it scary? mons/bluey-pale corpses with the Well, no. Shocks are in short supply, creaky throats are back and the the croaky voice grew old in the first rest of the original permeates the one and the death scenes generally sequel through flashbacks, strange flatline. The horror genre is again time-blurring frame splicing and in need of resuscitation as, at this the necessary Sarah Michelle Gel- rate, Kayako is killing more than Hell hath no fury like a ghost that can hold a grudge. Takashi Shimizu returns for a fourth outing with lar segment to aid continuity. just hapless American immigrants. The Grudge 2. No, really, a fourth time The Departed blasts into box offices Win The Omen!

Leonardo DiCaprio stars alongside Jack Nicholson and Matt Damon in Martin Scorcese’s Infernal Affairs remake, The Departed Just in time for Halloween, Felix has three copies of The Omen to be Hugh A D his films suggests an inseparable of time both on- and off-screen. The dreadful backache from sit- given away. bond. Two decades pass in the first ten ting in a cinema seat for three hours The Omen (2006) is available to A well-written script can transform Although time plays a slightly minutes, though Scorcese sensibly only makes itself felt as the credits buy and rent on DVD on 23rd Octo- its setting from a mere location into smaller role in The Departed than refrains from allowing the rest of roll, as does the need to nip to the ber 2006. The Omen 30th Anniver- a fully-fledged character in its own it did in Scorcese’s previous feat of the film to continue at this pace, or gents during a pivotal scene, and sary Edition, digitally remastered right, doubly so in the hands of a endurance, The Aviator, it is per- its narrative would end in the late naturally every scene is pivotal. versions of The Omen sequels and gifted director. Few would argue haps a more important one. Whilst twenty-third century. However, Barely a second of the screen The Omen Pentalogy containing all that Vienna is any less important to in the earlier work it displayed the most striking is the time experi- time is wasted: hammering home 5 films are released to buy on DVD The Third Man than Harry Lime. deterioration of the mind with age, enced by the audience; there can quite how inappropriate it was for on the same date. Twentieth Cen- Martin Scorcese, however, tran- the latter is more bleak - time rep- be few to leave the cinema without the cinema to stick an extra-long tury Fox Home Entertainment. scends mere geographical nice- resents death. realising that they are considerably half hour of adverts and trailers In order to win tell me, how many ties; in his works, time becomes a Though the juxtaposition is never closer to their own death than they at the beginning, knowing full well versions of The Omen have been character itself. Whilst there has made explicit, The Departed is un- were on entering. what proportion of daylight hours made in film history? And also, been a lot made of his decision to arguably about death - for all its That it does so without lead- would be taken up by it already. who was the director of The Omen repeatedly collaborate with Leon- themes of loyalty and deception, at ing to intense boredom cannot In short, where Scorcese is con- (1976). ardo DiCaprio, his commitment to the end of the day. And also, it con- fail to be noted as a remarkable cerned, The Departed really is very Email the answer to using time in each and every one of tains the passage of a great deal achievement. good. [email protected] now! Friday 27 October 2006 felix 15

FILM fi [email protected] 50th London Film Festival Felix provides the low down on everything cinematic that the BFI has on offer for you

Andrew Somerville Anderson, Richard Linklater, Ben Affleck and Yo La Tengo. As the fourth week of term grinds to In fact, the main problem with the an end, many will be getting bored. festival is deciding what to see. Un- The freshers’ events are mostly fortunately, as with all things in this Film times for Fulham over and the dull, aching rhythm great city, it isn’t cheap (from £7 to Broadway from Friday, of our respective courses has prob- £11 for most of the screenings); so October 27 to Thursday, ably just begun to noticeably eat whittling down the number of films November 2, 2006 away at the abstract noun that we to an affordable number (from the Imperial students no longer refer to 180+ available) is painful. If you Paid Previews as a “life”. Never fear: there’s some- aren’t an all-knowing film buff with thing far more interesting to do. a couple already picked out, the Borat (15) (RT 1h45) For two weeks, London is the cen- best way to do this is to stick to Thurs only: 11.00 13.00 tre of the Cinema world. The Times the Galas, special screenings and 15.00 17.00 19.00 21.30 BFI 50th London Film Festival will, screen talks. by the time you read this, have At £15 they are more expensive Subtitled Shows swallowed Leicester Square, and a than the normal screenings, but cavalcade of actors, directors, and they are truly red-carpet events; at- Barnyard (PG) (RT 1h50) beautiful people will be waltzing up tended by members of the cast and Sun @ 12.55 and down its long, red tongues. crew who give talks and Q&A ses- The History Boys (15) (RT What’s this I hear you cry? sions once the film has finished. It 2h10) Tuesday@ 17.40 “World-renowned film festivals are is a rare experience to see people for places like Venice and Cannes, standing in front of you who were Audio Description not the likes of us!” on the screen mere moments ago; How very wrong you are. Even and to ask them, and the other cre- The History Boys (15) (RT though most of you have never ative forces, the questions that in- 2h10) Daily: 15.10 17.40 20.10 heard of it, the London Film Fes- evitably pop into your head during tival is a prestigious event on the a film. Among most promising of international film calendar, and these will be Babel, an epic drama this is the 50th anniversary of its starring Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett New inaugural opening with Akira Kuro- and Gael Garcia Bernal, created sawa’s Throne of Blood. Thus, with by the writer and director team re- releases its line up of screening events and sponsible for Amores Perros and world premiers, it is guaranteed to 21 Grams; and Stranger Than Fic- Saw 3 (18) (RT 2h10) be brain-smashingly good. tion, an intelligent comedy starring Daily: (10.50 Fri-Sun only) If you are still unconvinced, the Will Ferrell, Dustin Hoffman and 13.30 16.00 18.35 21.15 festival sweetens the deal with its Maggie Gyllenhaal. Fri/Sat Late: 23.45 array of amazing guests and speak- With the festival on our doorstep ers, including Dustin Hoffman, Tim such gems cannot be ignored, no A Good Year (12A) (RT 2h20) Burton, Bob Hoskins, Jude Law, matter how little time you claim to Daily: 12.40 15.20 18.10 Will Ferrel, Martin Sheen, Gillian actually have. Will Ferrell in Stranger Than Fiction at the London Film Festival 20.50

Step Up (PG) (RT 2h5) Daily: 12.15 14.40 17.25 19.50 FilmSoc’s revolutionary take on the LFF Fri/Sat Late: 22.30

to communicate some of his ideas General about the universe, and how he be- lieves that the universe has mean- showings ing, which we can discover if we are wise enough to recognise the signs Barnyard (PG) (RT 1h50) presented to us. Daily: (10.45 Fri-Sun only) Petites Révélations, directed by 12:55 Marie Vermillard, consists of a se- ries of moments in the lives of vari- The Guardian (12A) (RT 2h40) ous unconnected people, some very Daily: (17.00 Not Thur) (20.00 emotionally charged, others less Not Fri/Sat/Thur) Fri/Sat Late: so. Marie explained that she had 23.00 been writing down these moments in her notebook for many years, Marie Antoinette (12A) and she made this unconventional (RT2h25) Daily: (12.05 Not film without a narrative to allow Sun&Thur) (14.50 Not Thur) us to focus on the moods created 17.35 (20.20 Not Sun) by these various moments. Petites Revelations was generally agreed The Grudge 2 (15) (2h05) to be the favourite, the concept is Fri/Sat Late 23.15 one of those things which can only really be communicated effectively The Last Kiss(15) (RT2h05) through the medium of film, it’s Daily: 13.20 15.50 18.15 20.40 pretty much impossible to explain Fri/Sat Late 23.05 in writing! Anyway, if this article has man- Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Images from The Signs (left four) and Petites Révélations (right two) at the London Film Festival aged to whet your movie appetite The Beginning (18) (RT 1h55) or tickle your cinematic tastebuds, Fri/Sat Late: 23.35 the festival is ongoing until the 2nd Victoria Sanderson the obligatory special guests, red “one of the best-kept secrets of cur- November. I urge you to get along The History Boys (15) (RT FilmSoc President carpet events and discussions from rent French cinema”. This short and see one of the films showing. 2h10) Daily: 15.10 17.40 directors, actors and other mem- film came about when he was asked 20.10 On Monday 23rd October, a jovial bers of the film crews. to make a film inspired by a piece of Become a member of FilmSoc to group of seventeen members from However, we were there to see contemporary art. He chose a trip- get discounted cinema tickets on Open Season (PG) (RT 1h50) FilmSoc marched our way to the The Signs and Petites Révélations, tych of photographs by the Basque future trips as well as entrance Daily: (10.40 Fri-Sun) 12.45 annual BFI London Film Festival which were showing at the Cine Lu- artist Maitetxu Etchevarria, and to all our weekly screenings in 14.55 for our first trip of the year. mière as part of the French Revolu- used them as inspiration for this college. For more information or The festival is now in its 50th year tions strand of the festival. As well story about a family’s vigil for the to join FilmSoc email victoria. The Devil Wears Prada (PG) and has many different strands, in- as the two films, there was also a father who has been missing for 10 [email protected], or (RT2h10) cluding World Cinema, New British Q&A session with both directors. years, presumed lost at sea. As Eu- visit www.imperialcollegeunion. Daily: 12.50 15.30 18.00 Cinema, Experimenta and Treas- The Signs is directed by Eugène gene discussed afterwards though, org/clubs-and-societies/a-to-z/f/ 20.30 Fri/Sat Late: 23.25 ures from the Archives, as well as Green, who has been described as the main focus of the film is really filmsoc/ 16 felix Friday 27 October 2006

ARTS [email protected] When the puppet show grew up Singalong: ‘Everyone’s a little bit racist at times (but it doesn’t mean we go around committing hate crimes)’

Avenue Q rything; Rod the “not a homo-what- cute “Bad Idea Bears” that dance Noel Coward Theatre, ever!” investment banker; and Lucy around Princeton, encouraging him St Martin’s Lane the Slut (who makes Miss Piggy to spend his last pennies on beer in From £10 look like the Virgin Mary); as well true student fashion. as the riotous Trekkie Monster. The show deals impudently with Have you ever sat down and thought There are human characters how perfectly adorable the bastard present too, who come across like “Right now you child of the Muppets and South amiably twisted versions of chil- BRINKHOFF/MÖGENBURG Park would look? If you have, you’re dren’s television presenters with dreams have come true. their bright clothes and fixed grins, are down and The Broadway triumph ‘Avenue Q’, and serve to remind us how strange created by Jeff Marx and Robert a format a stage peopled by a cast out, and feelin’ Lopez, is a musical for a generation of grey-clothed puppeteers who that grew up with Sesame Street sing, dance, and race around with really crappy. and don’t think musicals are very the furry creatures of the musical cool, really. on their arms really is. This pres- And when I see Hilarious, rude, loud, extravagant, entation does take a little getting and constantly pitting the cynical used to, but eventually proves to how sad you are, against the soppy (read on to find add a remarkably energetic and out who wins); you come out with entertaining extra dimension to the It sorta makes your cheeks aching from laughter performance. and a sense of wonder at how re- The band is fairly traditional, me happy.” alistic a puppet sex scene can be but the songs certainly aren’t, and when they only exist from the waist these are the star appeal of the –Schadenfreude upwards. show. This author’s personal fa- The story is set around the wide- vourites include the ironic lyrics of themes of morality, ambition, and eyed Princeton (“What Do You Do “For Now” (‘Everyone feels a little the individual’s search for purpose With A BA In English Literature?”), bit empty inside,’ they’re puppets, and sex; ultimately concluding in an optimistic college graduate who geddit?), and the genius of “The In- good old-fashioned sentimentality, moves to a scruffy New York street, ternet Is For Porn”. charmingly shirking away from the and the colourful friends he makes Avenue Q is a wicked and comi- tragic realities of life that it dar- there. cal representation of the strug- ingly grazes. Well, they’re only pup- These include love interest Kate gle of youth in the modern world, pets after all. What do you expect? Monster, a fuzzy kindergarten as- with all its temptations and vices Bloody Ibsen? sistant who likes romance with eve- which appear in the form of the two K.L. Julie Atherton as Kate Monster Sherfield Building Trickery, guilt, absolution, and bad accents Bones ence, with live drumming from Joe years before, is hoodwinked into Bush Theatre Legwabe, which set the African paying Beauty a hefty sum to cast gets glamourous Until November 4th theme perfectly. The play begins a spell to save her husband’s soul with a spotlight on a young black - Adshead wanting to illustrate the Kay Adshead’s take on black peo- boy (played by Sarah Niles) being need for the white people to be ab- The Imperial Collection says, “When brilliant minds come ple’s willingness to reinvent their interrogated. The scene changes in solved of their crimes committed Great Hall, Sherfield Building together for one common goal, the society after apartheid is the major the beginning of the play are abrupt throughout apartheid. Friday November 3rd result is perfection”; and fresh from theme of her play Bones, currently and at first the lack of direction left Moran does well in acting the Tickets from £17.50 South Africa Fashion Week, as well premiering at The Bush Theatre, me a little hesitant as to my enjoy- tortured soul, fraught with tension as a spell at the Storm modelling Shepherd’s Bush. ment of the remainder of it. after 42 years in an unhappy mar- Accused of perpetuating teenage agency, Angelika certainly knows Written and directed by Adshead, riage, yet her erratic South African anorexia with size-zero models, her stuff. women-led theatre company Mama accent let her down. Her neurosis and with the ugly link between last African styling is making big Quillo helped in its production, offer- Illustrating the as Jennifer is entertaining in the spring’s Boho fade and child labour strides in fashion. Most recently, ing a uniquely female perspective. way it contrasts with Beauty’s com- in India exposed by The Sunday elements of African and oriental Indeed, the only two characters in need for white ical interludes. Though one did get Times, it seems there are lots of styles were spotted in Donna Ka- the play are female: a white South a sense that there was something devils somewhere in fashion (pos- ran’s Spring 2007 offering. The Im- African woman (played by Pauline people to be lacking, passion perhaps, in Mo- sibly wearing Prada) but it seems perial Collection will display a wide Moran) and her black maidserv- ran’s overall performance. that Miranda Priestley’s evilness variety of lines, including amongst ant (Sarah Niles). The play follows absolved of their As Adshead intended, it is Jenni- has passed us by. others Jewels by Lisa, Arrogant the guilt of the white woman, Jen- fer who is left cheated when realis- We at The Imperial Collection Cat, Ajayi by Lanre Da Silva, and nifer, as she inwardly shoulders the apartheid crimes ing Beauty has no healing power have decided to put on a charity Virtuoso by Yemisi Olagbaiye. blame of the atrocities carried out but is merely trying to make a liv- fashion show of up and coming Af- All the profits made from the by her dying husband while Beauty, However, Niles picked up the pace ing in the troubles times in which rican designers with the mission of event are going to World Vision, her maid, takes advantage of this with her witty and often impertinent she lives. Despite thoroughly en- show casing African creativity and the international relief and devel- to make a fast buck out of her em- retorts to her employer, Jennifer, joying the development of the plot helping trade and not just aid to the opment agency, specifically in aid ployer using her alleged healing carried out with great conviction. and theatrical techniques used to impoverished continent. of a project in Uganda. The char- powers. Jennifer, racked with guilt at what evoke such tension (Legwabe’s If you haven’t already heard ity was chosen for its outstanding A sparsely decorated stage floor she had witnessed her husband do haunting singing and drum beats), there’s a fashion fusion happening reputation in helping over 100 mil- greeted members of the audi- to the black boy of the first scene, by the end I felt the play had been a at The Great Hall in the Sherfield lion people in their struggle against bit too heavy going for a Wednesday Building on the night of Friday 3rd poverty, hunger, and injustice. BRINKHOFF/MÖGENBURG evening after a day of using one’s November, 2006. With rehearsals in full swing, brain. But before I could go back to The Imperial Collection, a com- I’m still on a high from having the my initial impression, once again posite fashion show of eight design- contact details of the most beauti- the play redeemed itself by ending ers, was a phrase used by none oth- ful guys and girls at Imperial, and on an uplifting note. er than British Vogue Editor Dolly I’m telling you they are utterly gor- Beauty experiences a rare mo- Jones in an article she wrote about geous! With expert styling from ment of genuine healing power and a previous Imperial College Charity The Ray Cochrane Beauty School, is possessed by the boy Jennifer Fashion Show. Work on the mam- they can only get better. I feel very saw her husband torture, and he in moth project began over a year ago powerful! turn forgives both Jennifer and her when Angelika Huwiler, President Invitations are being sent to husband. The play ends with the two of Wye Fashion, booked the Great all the top fashionistas including talking of the flowers they would Hall and decided to throw a huge Vogue, Marie Claire, and the BBC, replant in the garden. Although event in the name of ethical African and together with an after party at at times a little heavy, Adshead’s fashion. the über-happening Roof Garden “Bones” is not one to be missed, if With frantic emailing and tel- Club we’re hoping for the glitziest only to see the utterly stunning and ephoning throughout the summer night on the Imperial calendar. See convincing performance by Sarah and a constant barrage of hurdles to you there! Niles, who no doubt will go far. make everything flawless, Angelika James Burnett Sarah Niles and Pauline Moran in Bones. Gordon Rainsford Caz Knight Friday 27 October 2006 felix 17

ARTS [email protected] Wildlife Photographer of the Year Beauty and tragedy, drama and serenity: London’s most exciting photography exhibition returns for 2006

Reading some of the captions in fully do just that, and the fruits of tive, the pictures will astonish and this year’s Wildlife Photographer of their labour are now on show at the amaze you, and sometimes you’ll the Year competition in the Natural Natural History Museum. Make no wonder how on Earth they could be History museum, you’d be forgiven mistake, this is the best photogra- real. for wondering why anyone wants to phy exhibition in London, so if you Walking around the (deceptively take photos of wildlife at all. Living go to one gallery this year, make time-consuming) room, you’ll move in the constant buzz that is London, it this one. (Besides, it’s just down across continents and through it is hard to imagine what motivates the road, so you can easily fit it in a seasons and be absorbed in the someone to sit in a hide for days on spare hour.) extremes of landscapes, yet you’ll end, waiting for that perfect picture. Varying from humorous to mov- also be touched by the subtleties of Yet each year photographers thank- ing, clichéd to completely innova- nature. I would list my favourites, but there would be far too many; besides, you should decide for yourself. One pleasing touch to the exhibi- tion is a slide show of the best pho- tographs from competitions past, of the competition being sponsored the inclusion of which challenges by Shell, a leader in an industry Clockwise from top left: this year’s contributors to be ever that clearly has a much greater ef- more inventive. fect on the environment than can Swimming for Life One of the categories of the be expressed by a few photos. (by Willem Kolvoort) competition, called “The World in The dilemma Our Hands”, asks for photographs The Wildlife Photographer of the (by Rick Stanley) which “convey our relationship Year exhibition takes place at the Terrapin hot-spot with the environment”. Natural History Museum in (by Manoj Sindagi) When looking at these photos I South Kensington. Tickets cost Rival Kings (by Andy Rouse) couldn’t help but feel the hypocrisy £6 or £3.50 for students.

THE SHELL WIILDLIFE PHOTOGRAPHER OF THE YEAR COMPETITION IS OWNED BY THE NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM AND BBC WILDLIFE MAGAZINE, AND IS SPONSORED BY SHELL 18 felix Friday 27 October 2006

NIGHTLIFE [email protected] Tamil Society No frills, some spills Hit Ruby Blue Papadiso and Jaded try to convince us that Summer’s not over yet Sinthiya Punnialingam

taking the decks back to back with In classic Imperial style, freshers’ Papadiso & Jaded pure acid house to the delight of week for some students involved a Egg Club their raving fans. After the Happy few tests, cheap snake-bite and 3am HHHHI Mondays’ set I did not think anyone conversations. This all changed could have superseded it, but Kiss (well for the Asians maybe) when FM’s Steve Smart and Frisky DJs Imperial College International Alex Baldwin Summer is not yet over at Papadiso, kept the clubbers on the dancefloor Tamil Society produced the bi-an- a monthly event showcasing a vari- ever so frisky. nual charity clubbing event Twist: Nightlife Editor ety of styles of house music hosted If you think you are going deaf Rewind. in Egg Club. From 10pm to 5am from the beats or going crazy with Having Ruby Blue, a funky West the energy level was sky high in all hallucinations, take a break outside End venue as a backdrop, excellent ello my sweet and three rooms with the crowd raving in the garden where tents were set build-ups and drops from the DJs juicy children of the to the beats from funky-house to up with lounge sofas underneath including our resident DJ Harribo. night. Just a short filthy-electro. and for £2, you can have a 15-second It is no surprise that the ravers one this week, but Unlike a typical London club, Egg giggling fit from the laughing gas. steamed up a little. The combina- it’s filled to the brim is unpretentious in every single I plead guilty to missing Chocolate tion of freshers testing their alco- Hwith tales of exploits you were too way. Situated in a medium-sized Groove going head-to-head with hol limits and students from vari- lazy to be a part of. Why would you industrial-looking building near Sub-Mission in the Loft, as I came ous universities coming together go out though, when a quick jaunt Kings Cross, the rooms have all in just in time to witness them wrap- brought the club into a dancing through the internet can land the basic necessities essential to a ping their set up. The lounge seats party-food, they like to make sure frenzy. you with everything you need to good clubbing experience. There is along the walls in the loft not only you are having the time of your life Sometimes R’n’B nights can get turn your own living room into a a spacious dancefloor, quick service looked appealing to us very tired too! very commercial, but with the infu- ravers’ paradise? In minutes you at the bar (the average price for a souls, it also proves a great place to All good things do not have to end, sion of hip hop, soul, bhangra and could have strobe lights, smoke spirit with mixer is £4), comfortable meet people if the dancefloor is too as we discovered when the Jaded gaana (which only Tamils seem to machines and boxes upon boxes sofas to chill in, energetic clubbers packed for comfort or heavy house after-party kicked off at 6am. wit- ‘dance’ to), the event certainly was of glow-sticks winging their way to and most importantly, floor-thump- music is not your thing. nessing Sunday morning hardcore a proud success as a lot of money your very own door. Now all that’s ing tunes blasted through some The crowd is a mixed bunch of clubbers thumping the dancefloor was raised on the night. left is to borrow some friendly lo- sick-ass speakers. The security was people, mostly in their mid-twen- with ferocious energy is unusual So, I just want to say a big thank cal audiophile’s soundsystem and also very tight complete with metal ties with the same love for music. in those ungodly hours. We left the you to the committee members of wait for the cloak of darkness to detectors mainly due to a shooting Everyone here is friendly from the place around 10am, smiling into the International Tamil Society 06/07 envelope you. at the club in August which left a stiletto-wearing Posh Spice wan- glaring morning sun, knowing it especially to Ramyah who made Or you could just do what I do person dead. nabe to cowboy-hat clad, glow-stick was a night (or day!) well spent. journeys to various universities to and save a week’s worth of Deal Resident DJ, Shane Watcha and waving hardcore raver. Most peo- Papadiso in Egg Club is the place promote the event and Sarah who Or No Deal for a marathon back- his filthy crew, Clint Lee and Gepy, ple I talked to were Papadiso regu- to be if you are up for getting down. made the night possible. to-back session on a Saturday held things down in the basement lars and were keen to discuss all This are no frills, no pretenses, no Finally, Make sure you keep an night. Or pray that the BBC take with their filthy house sessions, the good times they have had there. holds barred, pure hardcore club- eye out for our biggest variety show, note of my requests for a late night while Happy Mondays DJs took Also, judging from the amount of bing. Not for the faint hearted. Mega Maalai that will be coming Neighbours omnibus. control of the terrace. They were times I got asked if I wanted some Syaza Md Taib your way!

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www.teachfirst.org.uk Friday 27 October 2006 felix 19

FASHION [email protected] Designer or high street? COOL Are people shunning heavily advertised “high-fashion” labels, asks Sarah Skeete

The first designer label, Worth, orig- inated in Paris at the end of the 19th century. Charles Fedrick Worth was the first dressmaker who, instead of copying the popular designs of the day from illustrated journals, would impose his own taste on women. He was also the first designer to throw a fashion show, using attrac- Redesigned Chanel 2.55 tive young women as “sosies”, ef- Bag fectively inventing the model. He The beautiful revised edi- would dress woman popular in high tion on the classic 1955 society to create a buzz about his quilted bag. designs, much in the same way de- If you don’t happen to signers today give the latest it-bag have £450 or so to spend to the latest it-celebrity. on a bag (you filthy peas- But are high fashion labels like ants) then buy a vintage Dolce & Gabbana, Yves Saint Lau- rip-off. You can find bags rent and so relevant any more? inspired by the Chanel Trends move so fast these days that bag on Ebay, or from high street stores have the upper Absolute Vintage (15 hand in staying ahead of the trends. Hanbury St., E1 6QR). People don’t want clothes that last a lifetime; they buy clothes that are fashionable for the season. Are people even being inspired by designer catwalks? Especially in this media-saturated age, peo- ple can get their inspiration eve- rywhere. The internet means that Vans we don’t need designers to travel Guys look hot in Vans, across the world to find the latest but try to avoid the cliche look. People don’t need catwalks to Tongue-in-cheek Diesel advert, aping past advert styles; something of a West Side Story feel to it checker pattern. Girls dictate their look. Unless, of course, look great in Vans, unless you’re Victoria Beckham, who cop- you have big feet. Vans ies entire outfits from the catwalk: be exclusive. That’s how you end tive, what does that say about the the most successful jeans have on big feet look like flip- what a style icon. The latest trends, up with the nouveau rich from Rus- brand? They’re created by an out- been boutique brands from New pers. Effectively, you’d leggings for example, have come sia dressed head to toe in designer side agency. Diesel’s adverts have York & California who haven’t spent look like a manatee. from “the street”. gear, yet only managing to look like always been quite interesting. Their a dime on advertising; brands like Even if designer stores aren’t as upper-class chavs. Money does first adverts, featuring the slogan, Paper Denim & Cloth, Seven and quick to move as the high street, are not buy style. Witness the decline “Diesel: For Successful Living," Rock & Republic. the clothes at least of a better quali- of Burberry once the distinctively- were intended to make fun of all the We’re lucky that here in Britain ty? Or the designers any better? It’s patterned baseball caps were colo- improbable advertising promises of we have a lot of choice between scandalous that Ralph Lauren can nised by chavs. Nobody wanted to the past. I think it’s an interesting high street and designer labels. It charge £50 for a plain white vest touch Burberry because the sense sell, but that doesn’t mean I have really depends on what designer top while an identical high street of exclusivity had gone. This type any of their clothes hanging in my labels represent to you. Luxury or version is a fraction of the price. A of branding, where the label is closet. In fact in the past few years lack of style? lot of the time high street and high worth more than the design, leads fashion labels even share the same to counterfeits flooding the market. factory. It’s sewing on the designer People seem to be moving further label that costs the extra £40. away from the ostentatiousness of It’s doubtful that designer labels heavily-branded goods, towards represent the cream of the world's clothing that subtly hints at better Skulls creativity. If you really want a great taste. Um yeah, Urban Outfit- design, high fashion labels are the Designer labels just don’t have ter and Topshop, tween last place to go. For something of the same cache that they did in the goth is not a good look. If higher quality than the usual high- past. They brand you as a fashion you go for the goth look street fare, it would be smarter to victim. Granted, their advertise- do it in a sort of brooding head to a boutique that stocks a ments are more seductive than romantic way. That look range of lesser known labels. You ever, but aren’t consumers smart does not feature cartoon get a sense of exclusivity from the enough to separate the ads from skulls. fact that the brands are small, as the brand? Those Calvin Klein jeans opposed to the sense of exclusiv- look hot on a half-naked model, but Volume ity from buying something that so would a pair from Oxfam. Peo- You can use this as a test the majority of the world can’t af- ple understand that adverts aren’t to see if a person is just ford. It’s pretty superficial to want representative of the brand. Even if following fashion slavish- something that’s merely priced to the advertisements are quite crea- ly or if they actually have some sense of style. No one looks good in this shit. Not even models. Not even naturally slen- der models with anorexia and exercise bulimia. Al- though most things don’t look good on a skeleton.

Kate Moss Not herself so much, more the continuing slavish devotion to her despite her decline in style.

Buy Calvin Klein jeans and people will half-nakedly grind on you Burberry - these days it reminds us of chavs in baseball caps LAME

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Credit Suisse is an equal opportunity employer. ©2006 CREDIT SUISSE GROUP and/or its affiliates. All rights reserved. at the union oct 27th - nov 9th Wednesday 1st & 8th Thursday 2nd roots and

1st November - Team Karaoke shoots 8th November - Bar Games & Beer

Every Wednesday At The Union!

Carlsberg, Tetley’s & only Blackthorn only £1.30 a pint

Free entry before 9pm, £1 thereafter, free cloakroom for sports bags

Friday 27th Friday 3rd

Also on this fortnight Coming Up Next Week Fri 27th Walking Dead Zombie Foam Party Tue 31st Da Vinci’s - Quiz Night Wed 1st Sports Night - Team Karaoke Thu 2nd Roots and Shoots Fri 3rd Fireworks Night Party Tue 7th Da Vinci’s - Quiz Night Wed 8th Sports Night - Bar Games & Beer ArArabianabian Nights

The Union EncouragesImperial Responsible College Drinking Union, Beit Quadrangle, Prince Consort Imperial College Union, Beit Quadrangle, Road, London SW7 2BB imperialunion.imperial.ac.ukcollegeunion.org/ents Prince Consort Road, London, SW7 2BB Tel: 020 7594 8060 greater expectations

McKinsey & Company is a global Considering a career in management management consultancy that consultancy? helps leading organisations make If you are a final year student from any degree distinctive, lasting and substantial discipline we will be running a series of workshop improvements to their performance. sessions on Monday 30 October (Imperial students We work with private companies only), Wednesday 1 November and Thursday and public sector bodies in the areas 2 November. The workshops will provide a great of strategy, operations, organisation opportunity for you to meet our people from around and technology. the world, learn more about McKinsey and give you some experience of the way we help clients solve complex business problems. If you are interested in attending our workshops, please register online at www.mckinsey.com/mckinseyoncampus by Wednesday 25th October. Please note that you do not need to have taken a business or management course as part of your degree in order to participate in this event. For further information on McKinsey & Company please visit our websites www.mckinsey.com for information about all our offices or www. mckinsey.co.uk for London specific information. For careers opportunitites, please visit www.mckinsey.com/careers.

Wednesday 1st November & Thursday 2nd November 2006 11am - 4pm Queen’s Lawn Imperial College London

Come and see all the big graduate recruiters over two days, including:

Shell KPMG Procter & Gamble Deutsche Bank Mott MacDonald Johnson Matthey Marathon Oil Dow PricewaterhouseCoopers Goldman Sachs D.E. Shaw Group Phillips

Casual staff are required for the set up and take down of this event. imperialcollegeunion.org/careersfair If you are interested please contact [email protected] 26 felix Friday 27 October 2006 Clubs&Societies Up, up and away with IC Gliding Club An unusual choice of holiday destination perhaps, but Slovakia managed to provide soaring skies for everyone involved

Andrew Cockerell around your head. The problem was the winch driver could barely This year’s Gliding Club tour hap- see this bat from the other end of pened to start on the longest day the airfield, so some people found of the year. Lasham, our home air- themselves standing there wav- field, had decided to try and get as ing for more than 5 minutes! Once many flights into the day a possible, under way the sticky clutch caused which was handy; not only did the some jerky launches, and having early morning start seem more broken every weak link (a replace- bearable but some of us even man- able part on the cable designed to aged to go flying before leaving! A break before the glider does) on the largely uneventful journey across airfield we decided not to use the Belgium, Germany and Austria winch again. The rest of the launch- found the group in Nitra, Slovakia. es were by aerotow, a more sedate Nitra is about 60km west of the way of getting airborne where a capital Bratislava and 8km away powered aircraft tows your glider from the Tribec Mountains. The up to altitude. airfield has hosted numerous World Generally the weather was su- and European gliding champion- perb by British standards, with fan- ships, so has very good facilities tastic soaring conditions allowing including a swimming pool and a us to stay in the air for more than tennis court (very useful when you 5 hours at a time by riding on col- weren’t flying). We stayed on the umns of rising hot air. This allowed airfield in chalets, which were only those who were pre-solo to do a lot 20m from where the glider trailers soaring practice and upper air work were parked, so we could easily with instructors, and those who fall out of bed each morning and could fly the single seater were able assemble our single seater Discus to practice their soaring and go for (no assembly required for our twin badge claims. There were a daring seater, 496, which was either in the few (mainly flying with Bob) that hanger or trestled overnight). The went out to the local ridge. I say airfield doesn’t have any catering daring because, as we saw when facilities (only a bar), but we were we climbed it, if the ridge lift wasn’t able to get food at Nitra’s two Tes- strong enough to keep the plane up cos, one of which was actually on it would be a long way to glide back three separate floors! We went out to the airfield with very little height most evenings and attempted to to spare! sample some of the more local cui- The locals were all very friendly sine, including an Italian, a Mexican and helpful, and the youth contin- and an Irish restaurant (the origins gent even allowed us to join in their of the Irish one were questionable), drinking games; their shot glasses two homemade barbeques, and a were the size of tumblers and the very good local restaurant where, if homebrew was lethal (the normal you ordered 2 days in advance, you 8 hour minimum before flying was could get a whole suckling pig. One nowhere near a long enough recov- fact that seemed to pass most of the ery time!) restaurants was that when Sage Overall, everyone there got some- said he was vegetarian, this means thing out of it. Pre-solo students he eats no meat (Slovakian dishes were able to learn in a familiar glid- ‘without meat’ may just contain less er in superb conditions and those meat). We also made evening trips who flew the Discus were able to to Bratislava and Banska Bystrica; hone their thermalling skills. Thank the latter is a historic town in the you to Bob and Sage for their hard middle of the Tribec Mountains. work instructing and mentoring Some of us later returned to Brati- during the first two weeks; Sage slava on a poor weather day whilst even managed a bit of flying of his the others climbed the local ridge. own in the last week when he had The first day was spent flying no one to instruct! with instructors in the twin seater, to make sure everyone was safe to Imperial College Gliding Club fly on their own. Launching was by meets every Friday lunchtime winch, where the glider is hooked at 12.30-13.30 in Aeronautical onto a mile long cable which is Engineering room 254, and reeled in at 60mph to catapult you we fly on both days of every into the air. The Nitra winch was weekend as well as Wednesday not the smooth, powerful launch afternoons. For more information we’re used to at home (the aver- about getting involved see www. age launch was to a pathetic height union.ic.ac.uk/gliding or email of 700 feet), and was initiated by our captain at shaun.murdoch@ swinging a very heavy metallic bat imperial.ac.uk Imperial College Guiding Club: They’re a surprisingly photogenic bunch of aviators aren’t they? Friday 27 October 2006 felix 27

CLUBS & SOCIETIES [email protected] Exploring the deep caves of Slovenia

Jarvist Frost seiling down into this bell-jar I am other team member crawling along left dangling in free space; the thin sideways below you, while another I awake at 1500m, in a hut on the white line of the rope disappear- caver traversed along high above. slope of mountain Migovec in Slove- ing beyond my light’s illumination Time was passing, and it was nia, to the sight of a cup of coffee be- above. The knit of the rope sheath many hours of effort to reach the ing waved in my general direction. started me gently spinning – I don’t surface. Half the team started sur- The caving club has been exploring even have to turn my head to watch veying the way back, slowly taking the deep caves of this mountain in the chamber go by, to see the wa- point-to-point compass, clinometer conjunction with the local club for terfall across the way develop from and distance measurements for over a decade. The main cave sys- a drippy purr into an almighty roar. feeding into a computer once back tem is over eleven kilometres long, An energetic scramble up a slope in the nearby town. The rest of us and nearly a thousand metres deep. of boulders got me to my compan- continue to explore. Climbing down Our hope for today was to enter a ions, sitting on insulating coils of with the other English ICCC caver, more recently discovered cave – rope in a side chamber away from we found a route which doubles ‘Primadona’, and explore in the di- the damp and the draft of the falling back under the way that we have rection of this main system – barely water. Cravings for chocolate and come, shuffling along an increas- a hundred metres away. Combined, nicotine were indulged by the vari- ingly wide gorge. Looking down is these caves would be the longest ous cavers, ice-cold drinking water terrifying indeed – the roaring river cave in Slovenia that can be ex- collected from a nearby rock pool. being very far below, but the climb- plored without diving equipment. How deep were we now? Still very ing was easy, along wide mantel- Setting off for the peak high above shallow – not much more than two pieces of limestone. Back in a cor- we are accompanied along the hundred metres. So – only deeper ridor-like passage we explore with steep path by the roar of a river than Canary Wharf is high! dawning realisation – to be sud- in the deep valley to our side, the We then undulate along, scram- denly confronted with the sight of stark peaks of the next mountain bling over enormous house-sized our original rope disappearing into range jutting purposefully from the chunks of limestone, ducking the ceiling! This bit of cave simply white cloud that rolled below our through rock archways and stomp- reconnects to itself in a loop. feet. At the cave entrance we check ing along tube-tunnel-sized pas- So we had failed to make the big and stow all our gear carefully – one sageways. At the limit of explora- breakthrough, on that trip at least. forgotten item would spell a prema- tion, we unpack and prepare to But no one has ever been down ture and disappointing end to the climb. Hours of work are spent to that underground river – all it trip. gaining a precious ten metres of requires is more rope and more height through the roof of the corri- time. We finish the survey, tidy up dor. Finally up, we had entered the the ropes and start back towards The slope is unknown. the surface, saying goodbye to the A little chamber with a clamber up dangling bats as we go. Climbing permanant snow, into a crawlspace. No one has ever vertically into the heavens, I am seen this passage, and we have no having the workout of my life – and a fast toboggan idea where it goes. This bit of cave in the most awesome surroundings was very old indeed, having formed rather than a stuffy London gym. ride in a plastic when this part of the mountain was Finally at the entrance, we scram- below the water table, before the ble up the snow slope towards oversuit! kilometre-deep valleys formed on the stars beyond – eleven hours either side. As the last of the water underground. The entrance is an enormous drained out, it left behind amazing Back at the hut, a flood of warmth slope of permanent snow, a fast to- formations in the rock and the mud, and pine smoke flows from the door boggan ride in a plastic oversuit! A some of which inevitably were illu- into the icy night. You can always quick crawl and a wander along a minated, admired and then crushed squeeze another caver around a passageway, to reach the first rope. underfoot. table; bowls of hot soup and hunks Down we shoot, zipping through Some rather acrobatic manoeu- of bread magically appear, followed the inky blackness. Kept company vres later, and the passage starts by cake and a wee dram here and by the click of the karabiners onto getting much bigger. Drawn on by there. Sitting around me are the rope, and the clunk of the boulders the sound of a waterfall, we clam- faces that go along with the motes beneath the feet, forever chasing ber down increasingly large climbs the headlight in front, the calls of onto an enormous rock shelf. The ‘Rope Free!’ and ‘OK!’ merging into main drop was too far for the short No one has soporific mumbles over the echo. rope that we have, though looking Today I am in luck – the Slovenian at carefully over the edge, one can see ever seen this the front of our advance party sings a little underground river running bass in a choir. Soon the chambers past far below. Placing rock-an- passage. We are resounding to his sonorous ren- chors on the very end of the ledge ditions – Slovenian folk songs inter- and bouncing sideways as we abseil have no idea spersed with Leonard Cohen. down, one could reach a false floor Abseiling down through a chim- just within the length of our rope. where it goes ney between the rock, the walls Safely down, we walk around the suddenly disappear. Looking down corner to be confronted with a clear of light in the dark, people who I far below, I can see pinpricks of sign that someone had been here had barely met when going under- light – the headlamps of the rest before – a neat cairn of rocks placed ground now seem like old friends, of the party waiting for me. I reach on a boulder in the middle of the united by the joy of cooperative a reattachment point in the rope, passageway, marking the location of exploration and the shared experi- where I need to take my abseil a survey station. But in which cave ence underground. device off one section of rope and are we now? We had certainly trav- The chatter runs late into the reattach it beyond the rock anchor. elled a sufficient distance to reach night – where next to explore? And Before I joined the caving club, the main system, but the path had what was the cave going to do next? the very idea of doing such a ma- so many twists that we have no way Where did that underground river noeuvre would have filled me with of telling our overall direction. Ex- run to? And where from? The win- dread. The drop is not just enough citing stuff indeed! ter snows will soon set in, it will be to guarantee a certain death, but We split up and scramble around, during the ICCC expedition next would allow plenty of time for con- looking for another station – hope- summer that we will be back at templation before hitting the rock. fully one with a little note on wa- the pushing front. Simply join the However, I now know that I am safe terproof paper stating which part club, let us teach you the necessary in my harness and am perfectly at of the survey it was, and therefore skills by practicing in caves across ease, my actions totally automatic which cave. This part of the cave the most picturesque regions of the as I attach multiple safety cords, was an absolute rabbit warren, with country and you can walk alongside transfer my weight over and tested extinct waterfalls and passage- us into the unknown. my descending device before tak- ways criss-crossing and spiralling ing out the last safety. around each other. Like some Es- For more information about ICCC Free once more, with absolutely cher drawing, you can step across visit www.union.ic.ac.uk/rcc/cav- no effort I gently drift down. Ab- a chasm and look down to see an- ing or email [email protected] Imperial College Caving Club braving massive holes in Slovenia 28 felix Friday 27 October 2006 Sport Schumacher: is this the end of a racing legend? A victory lap to look back on the Formula 1 world champion driver Michael Schumacher’s 15 year long run of domination as he heads into retirement

ormula 1 has always been corner, and parked the Jordan 7th a fast moving sport; driv- on the starting grid, outperforming ers and champions come his much more experienced team and go. Races are won and mate and shaking up the F1 estab- in terms of track records, lishment. In the subsequent race whoeverF is vigilente enough to be he failed to finish after the clutch standing on a podium is anyones blew itself to pieces on the run up guess. That is of course with one to the first corner, in the meantime exception that has dominated for Formula 1 had already sat up and the past 15 years. In 1991 a young taken notice. By the Italian GP two German called Michael Schu- weeks later, he’d been snapped up macher came into the sport. His by Benetton, thus began the epic infamous desire to win at all costs rise of Michael Schumacher. and genius in driving a Formula 1 Within a year he’d wrapped up his car would make him a legend even first win, at the very circuit he’d be- before he’d finished his career; a gun his career, and went on to win career which started when a poor three more in 1993 in an inferior car worker knocked together a small to the likes of Ayrton Senna, Alain go kart for his 3 year old son in a re- Prost and Nigel Mansell. His early mote part of West Germany. career had already marked him During the 1991 season, Eddie out as the obvious successor to the Jordan’s young outfit was running great Ayrton Senna, and Formula a French driver called Bertrand 1 was set for a thrilling battle be- Gachot, who was jailed for spraying tween two of the most gifted driv- CS gas at a London taxi driver. Jor- ers in its history. Then came the dan were in trouble, they needed San Marino GP at Imola, in 1994, a a driver to replace Gachot at the weekend which many in the sport hallowed Spa-Francorchamps cir- call the darkest weekend in the cuit in Belgium, a track, alongside history of Formula 1. In qualifying the Nurburgring-Nordeschleife, for the race, Roland Ratzenberg- considered as one of the most fear- er’s car hit the wall, instantly kill- ful places on earth to race a car. ing him. In the race, Schumacher Backed by his success from the jun- the young pretender was chasing ior racing series leading up to F1 the leading Ayrton Senna. Into the and bankrolled by Mercedes-Benz, fast sweeping Tamburello corner, Schumacher managed to convince Senna’s car bottomed out, hit the Jordan that he had raced the track wall and he was killed when a sus- many times, in fact he’d only ever pension wishbone hit him on the been around the circuit once, on head. Schumacher went on to win a bicycle. It didn’t matter. In the the championship that year, after qualifying for his first race he mas- a clash with Damon Hill at the last tered the much feared Eau Rouge race of the season. His perform- ance at the Spanish GP went down as one of his best: coming home second despite being limited to 5th gear for the majority of the race. Schumacher Benetton’s momentum grew and Schumacher’s ability to rally the team behind him saw the teams records aquisition of the 1995 championship double. As all of this was happening, Most Drivers’ World a middle of the grid ran team called Championships: 7 Ferrari was watching on. Ferrari, Most Race Wins: 91 although a legendary name in mo- Most Podiums: 154 tor racing, had been struggling Most Pole Positions: 68 on track for almost 20 years. After Most Fastest Laps: 76 the death of old man Commenda- Most Championships Won tore Enzo Ferrari in 1989, the team Consecutively: 5 and company as a whole went into Most Career Championship a freefall dive. Rumour has it that Points: 1396 Ferrari approached Schumacher’s Most Races Won in a manager, Willi Weber, to sign him Season: 13 for them. He laughed, and jokingly Most Championship Doubles said “give us a blank cheque and (drivers and constructors): 7 he will sign for you”. Ferrari was Most races won at 1 track: 8 not bluffung and did just that. In Michael Schumacher in Red, post-Benetton. This jolly grin masks the fact that you will never be able to (Magny-Cours, France) 1996, Schumacher came onto the drive as fast or as well as him. But since he is retiring now, maybe you’ve got a chance and should give Most Laps completed track in red overalls. His transfer it a go if you can manage to pick up a few sponsors. Otherwise, put this picture on your wall and tell in Lead: 4741 would help revive the most his- yourself there will never be anyone as good as Schumacher ever again, and try not to get misty-eyed toric team in motor racing to be- Friday 27 October 2006 felix 29

SPORT [email protected]

come world champions once again. number one status in Ferrari, and Schumacher quickly got to work by that all his teammates were bound putting together a team of highly by contracts to do one thing: Help skilled and motivated engineers Schumacher win. The fact of the and mechanics. matter is Ferrari is Schumacher’s Despite driving a vastly inferior, team. Had it not been for him, they dog of a car, Schumacher took Fer- would probably have continued rari to 3 wins that season. Most their performance spiral to the notable was his first emotional vic- back of the grid, and perhaps com- tory for Ferrari at the Spanish GP pletely out of the sport all together. in Barcelona. There he obliterated As a rule of thumb, the best driver the field on a wet track to win by an gets the number one treatment in astounding 45 seconds, despite hav- a team, all down the pitlane. The ing dropped to 6th place at the start same can be said of pilots. Same of the race. Forty-five seconds in a difference. sport where timed measurements Looking back at Formula One his- are calculated to infinitely small tory, it is easy to see examples of denominations of a thousandth of people who have pushed the limits a second is practically a lifetime in of the rules to the maximum to win, a F1 race. Schumacher is no different. His The next year, in 1997, Schu- finely tuned dogmatic drive to do macher had a season to forget. Af- only one thing has labeled him as ter being found guilty of attempt- aggressive. His only objective is to ing to drive Jacques Villeneuve off race a car to victory and he will do the track in a bid to win the world anything it takes, even if he over- championship, he was stripped of steps the limits of sportsmanship. all his championship points for that As Formula One moves into a new season. This is considered by many era without Michael Schumacher, as a turning point in the sport’s many have asked the question, “who perception of Schumacher. He still will replace Michael Schumacher”? had his defenders, but now he had Although the sport is seeing a huge garnered a whole new set of critics wave of talent filtering through as in prepped with stoked branders. Fernando Alonso, Kimi Raikkonen McLaren-Mercedes rose to and Felipe Massa, the answer to dominance in the late 1990s and that question can only be “there will took both the double in 1998 and never be a replacement for Michael the driver’s championship in 1999, Schumacher”. There is little doubt with Mika Hakkinen at the wheel. that any one of these drivers can Despite breaking his legs at Sil- break one or two of Schumacher’s verstone and missing 7 races in all, records, however, it is currently in- Schumacher finished the year 3rd conceivable that any of them will go in the championship. on to beat a man who has rewritten The new millennium brought with the record books. No other driver it a new era of complete and utter besides Schumacher can polarise dominance by Michael Schumacher this sport in such a fashion, or ce- and Ferrari. Together, they snapped ment a team so cohesively together up both the drivers and construc- beneath them, or drive the boots tors championships for 5 years on off their car so well even when the the trot – the most dominant era odds are heavily stacked against by any single driver and any single them. In the end, Senna was the team ever seen in the history of fastest ever race driver, over a lap the sport. Prior record holder Juan his ability was simply mind bend- Manuel Fangio had won 5 career ing, but as the complete package, world championships in the dura- there is no parallel to Schumacher. tion of his career, whereas Schu- He has raised the benchmark in macher not only blasted through Formula 1, and has shown that it is that 50 year standing record in 2002, no longer enough to be just the fast- but set a new one by winning just as est race driver, one must have the many championship consecutively complete package; speed, team- in only one team. That same year, work, resilience, technical aptitude he faced controversy for the most and courage. Despite his cold cal- public display of team orders ever culating “winning machine” image seen in F1. At the Austrian GP, his in the sport, he is known for being teammate Rubens Barrichello was a charitable person, giving $10m to in the lead and about to win the race the Asian Tsunami Fund, the larg- when he was radioed to slow down est single contribution made. He in the last corner and let Schu- works as an ambassador for many macher take the win. The outcry charities and promotes the road in the sport was massive, however safety message of the FIA. Ferrari got away with a $1m fine. There are many that say his last His dominance was so oppressive ever Grand Prix and indeed his last that in 2002 and 2004 the sport was ever championship didn’t amount to labelled boring and news compa- much. Regardless, he left the sport nies stopped sending journalists to in the most fitting way that only the races to cover events where in Michael Schumacher could. With all probability Schumacher would a championship deficit of 25 points win. in Canada, many had ruled him out, He relinquished his crown to yet at Monza where he announced young pretender Fernando Alonso his retirement, he was back level in 2005 and despite a hard fought on points with Fernanado Alonso. 2006 championship campaign, was In the season closing race, having unable to regain his title. A blown had his left rear tyre punctured, an engine at the penultimate race ef- unscheduled pit stop sent him to fectively sealed the championship 20th position. He cut a 70 second for Alonso and Renault. time deficit to under 30 seconds Schumacher is labelled by many and carved up the field to 4th place. as a “cheat”, but I like to believe Chasing Jenson Button for a po- he is a genius, albeit inherently dium place into the final lap of his flawed. Critics emphasize how he career at Sao Paulo, he was over tried to drive his competitors off 5 seconds behind, yet he simply the track. With this dire hunger he refused to lift his right foot off the even rammed his brother, Ralf, into throttle pedal, setting the fastest the wall at 190mph. But these crit- lap of the race. For 15 years, there ics take too much ease in overlook- hasn’t been a single race where a ing the unsporting actions of other Michael Schumacher win has been greats such as Ayrton Senna who discounted, he has been an omni- drove Alain Prost off the track in present force. In the end, he went Top, Schumacher gleeful over a glorious win that probably earned him a few quid. Center, Formula 1 1990 to win the world championship. out as a true champion and, more stockcar with really expensive tires and choice endorsements. Bottom, “Cheerio and toodle pips!?” Others fault him for being handed importantly, as a true racer. 30 felix Friday 27 October 2006

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RSM Hockey: Pissed as ever

Mikey P

RSM’s first game of the season began in the usual style, with most people struggling to see after Saturday night house par- ties across West London. With the sweet taste of Jack Daniel’s and Fosters vomit still on my breath (sorry Holly; at least it all went down the toilet) the Mixed XI took to the pitch full of confidence for a victory over a bunch of IC players who looked as hanging as we felt. I’d love to give you a full match report of our first half dominance and silky inter-linked plays, but to be honest I can’t remember a fucking thing from the whole weekend. Tom scored an absolute beauty, taking the ball from the half-way line and threading through a bemused defence before hammering it past the flailing IC keeper. Ade’s debut performance in goal kept us in the game in the first half, although a special (speshul) mention should go to Andreas (the IC striker) who managed to miss more easy opportunities than I’ve had Cornish pasties. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way IC scored a couple of goals, apparently, and we lost The RSM Hockey mixed team, and their alcoholic beverage of choice, kangeroo urine.. I mean, Fosters. Still, they look happy enough 2-1. Post-match fineage/celebra- tions were postponed until after training on Monday. Alice claimed Man of the Match for her stunning natural tal- Hockey girls win, get drunk, get lost ent (hockey talent) and was rewarded with Guinness, Bells, Baileys and tabasco. Charlotte ULU League stant attacks starting with Harriet got the prestigious Thanks for IC 6-3 RVC & Yoke’s awesome moves & ending Coming award, for doing practi- in DD, LG, Pav & Poppy’s shots. cally nothing all day, although in The third goal was a classic. Win- her defence she did buy us some Having finished 2nd in ULU & as cup ning a corner in the last second of booze for half-time drinks. To semi-finalists last year, we woke up the first half was an excellent op- her sheer delight she was pre- on Sunday morning with one thing portunity for all 22 players to take sented with Old Hooky, red wine, in our mind: how the f**** did I get part in it. Harriet’s corner landed Bells, Blue Aftershock, and home last night? somewhere in the crowded penalty more Lea & Perrins Worcester- With nearly all the tube lines spot. shire sauce than I’ve ever seen closed to King’s Cross and us- With IC having more than 10 shots go into one drink before. ing Jools’ sense of direction, it and each time, hitting RVC play- Special thanks to Sarah and took us nearly three hours to get ers instead of scoring, it was hard the IC team for the game; we to Brookman’s Park. Getting to to understand what the actual aim should do that again some time. RVC grounds meant taking a long was. DD (known as the girl with If anyone happened to walk past journey through a deserted forest, headband to the opponents’ coach), the Union on Tuesday morning, walking past the remainders of cars finally managed to miss RVC play- and was wondering what the 3- and animals, climbing hills and fall- ers and the half time finished with square-metre patch of unidenti- ing into a couple of holes and nearly IC leading 3-2. fied purple substance was, I’m getting a pre-season injury. Being Having both Lizzies (LG & LB) in sure Charlotte would be happy used to playing with the maximum the pitch in the second half, caused to explain (ca305@imperial. of 7 players in most of the match- a disastrous confusion on instruc- ac.uk). es last year, having 3 subs meant tion towards them as G and B were Christmas, 2 months early. mixed up. Again we took control The first few strikes by IC in the early in the half. first half, led to an early goal by Kate & Emma’s move & Pav’s spaniard Dehydys-“DD”(our very ball, which slipped though for Pop- Have you own Joaquin). Getting too carried py, brought the 4th goal. Linesmans’ away resulted in a shot by RVC’s obsession with offside cost us lots number 12 (aka “the wall”) which of good chances. Harriet scored got sports amazingly missed all the defend- the 5th, in a rather un-balanced ers. IC’s second goal came from position, completing her awesome reports? Harriet’s corner, finding Lizzie G game that day. outside the box. When RVC scored their 3rd, Pav LG’s amazing Totti-styled shot (the captain) started worrying. That Send them arched over and beautifully landed was when Mona (MLisa) & Poppy, in RVC’s goal, leaving everyone wisely, started bombarding IC play- impressed, especially the ref, who ers with cries of motivation in Span- Cheery hockey types, seen here consuming only water to sport. couldn’t get over it. ish & Portuguese. The impact was Soon afterwards, RVC was re- instant on DD, as she went to score felix@ warded a free kick from an Oscar- a fantastic goal, taking advantage The game finished with a horrible enjoying downing pints on Wednes- winning dive (even better than IC of goalie’s hasty clearance. tackle on LG & her being carried day night along with their fellow men’s 7s’ Jack Yip’s) which went Winning a penalty was the high- to the changing rooms, where we team mates, while trying to figure imperial. pass the all CivEnged defence and light of the match. Although Pop’s could still hear the ref, saying , “Did out the difference between Kate & slipped in. shot was denied by the goalkeeper, you see that second goal?” Katie and Imperial & Imeprial (es- ac.uk IC managed to take control of the it brought the team closer together Being awarded the “double” dame pecially on flyers). game afterwards. Creating con- (thanks for the memories Popps). of the match, DD & Harriet will be Mona Haghani Friday 27 October 2006 felix 31

PUZZLES [email protected] Sudoku 1,361 This Week’s Horoscopes

Complete the grid so that every row, every column and every 3x3 Scorpio (23 Oct – 21 Nov) Pisces (19 Feb – 20 Mar) Cancer (22 Jun – 22 Jul) square contains the digits 1 to 9. Email your solution to sudoku. [email protected] by Tuesday at 9am. We will randomly You grow a fetish for Eating an apple, you In this week’s tale select a winner to receive either a 128MB USB stick or a crate of bum cleavage, male notice you are becom- from Felix Dungeons, beer. You must claim your prize within a week. or female regardless. ing increasingly full. Andy doesn’t know Daringly, you poke After hours, the fruit but we’re putting him your index finger has swollen to an epic on the front page! down the pants/knick- size. A hatch opens Myself and Alex are 7 ers/g-string of anything you can and a pip skewers you with it’s his bitches and whilst he gradu- get your mitts near. Unfortunately sweet, sickly semen insertion stick. ates or some shit like that, we’re the builder you attempt your trick You are harvested for Morrison’s. in charge! Here he comes! Quick! I 8 4 on objects and sets you in cement. Morrison’s... Must try harder. must return to my world of leather. Sagittarius (22 Nov – 21 Dec) Aries (21 Mar – 20 Apr) Leo (23 Jul – 22 Aug) 3 6 9 8 2 As you make your This week you Titties. Titties. Titties. way down Kensington discover that your boy- Parp! Parp! Tit- 4 3 6 9 High Street, a young friend has ordered an ties. Titties. Titties. chavette shrieks assassination attempt Titttttttttttttties. “Come an’ ‘ave a go if on your life. Reading Parrrrrrrrrrp!! Titties. 7 3 4 5 2 8 ya fink ya ‘ard ‘nuff”. his text messages, you Pa-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-rp! Fortunately, you just bought a dic- find out that it will take place out- Titties! Titties! Titties! Titties! tionary in Waterstones. Ramming side the Blackett Lab. Sussed, you Titties! Titties! Parp. Parp. Parp! 8 9 1 3 said book so far up the bling queen, think. But a fire drill causes you to P.A.R.P! Titties. Parp! Titties! Tit- her colon ruptures. She dies. be funnelled into firing line. Bang. ties! Titties! Titties. Parp! Titties! 1 8 6 4 2 Capricorn (22 Dec – 19 Jan) Taurus (21 Apr – 21 May) Virgo (23 Aug – 22 Sept) Preheat oven to 180C. OBJECTION! This week you meet 4 2 Beat one egg into Duh-duh-doodle- H from Steps whilst a pint of milk. Add dooo-dur-dur-nur- perusing the camels dash of brandy. Trim nur-nur-nur-naaa! section of the Soho 2 crusts off eight slices Congratulations, Video-For-Hire. He of slightly stale bread you’ve just fired up comes across you and cut into squares. Butter this your new Japanese import copy really nicely and you introduce Solution to 1,360 Jotting pad bread on one side. Layer bread and of Phoenix Wright 2: Justice For him to your mates. After a good old sultanas alternately. Pour in milk All, English subtitles included. You knees up at DaVinci’s you all agree 9 1 3 6 8 2 7 5 4 mixture. Cook for 35 minutes. Yum. may have a jaffa cake. he got such an unjust bad press. 5 6 7 4 9 3 2 1 8 8 4 2 1 5 7 6 9 3 Aquarius (20 Jan – 18 Feb) Gemini (22 May – 21 Jun) Libra (23 Sept – Oct 22) 3 5 8 9 7 1 4 2 6 1 2 4 5 3 6 9 8 7 So, this week you Nine down, three to Blimey, first there was 7 9 6 2 4 8 1 3 5 think you’re a funny go. Or should that be copulating Cancer fucker do you? Well, two to go? I can never last week, but look at 2 7 9 3 6 5 8 4 1 if that’s the case: decide. It’s like when this folks: is that Libra 4 8 5 7 1 9 3 6 2 send your version of I was sitting on the symbol akin to a revo- 6 3 1 8 2 4 5 7 9 the horoscopes into tube the other day and lutionary new TIE [email protected] and a lady told her kid: “five stops to fighter from Star Wars Episode Thanks to everyone who entered last if our stars align with your arse- go”. I couldn’t work it out. Glouces- VII? Oops, I mentioned number 7. I week. Navid Afshar: a winner is you. hole those words might gravitate ter Road or South Ken? Current can hear hordes of hot headed Leia Keep those entries coming in! towards this here page. stop inclusive or not? Dear oh dear. lovers coming to hunt me down.

Felix Crossword 1,361 Scarecrow

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ACROSS DOWN From the huge pile of no complet- 1 “God is dead” - misplaced zen 2 Bright spark turns no side (6) ed grids received a fortnight ago, 9 ethics (9) 3 Underground pipe (4) it seems my last crossword was a 9 Provoke illegal sounds (6) 4 Maroon hair (6) little too hard. 10 10 Big herb is incomprehensible. 5 Old chap’s Conservative? (7) Anyone might think that this was Utterly incomprehensible. (9) 6 Beer sounds like trouble (3) because I made a mistake in the 11 11 Damaged rugs contain spike (4) 7 I eat soccer raw (9) clue to 17 across, but I like to think 12 Baffle a small furry animal (3) 8 In steps, though was unable to you are clever enough to spot that, 12 13 14 13 Jack’s alliance (5) take steps (9) so perhaps it has more to do with 15 Round cleric disarrayed (6) 14 Dry artificial intelligence the lack of a prize. 15 19 A yes in a yes (3) rewrites journal (5) In response, there is now a prize 21 Al comes between acidity and 16 Consider gamble (9) fund of ten whole pounds. Per 16 17 18 19 20 ten in formation (7) 17 Maul Paris frenziedly with a week. It might not be the national 22 Long-winded ruins observe (7) pouch (9) lottery, but the odds are better. 21 22 23 One sounds like a sheep (3) 18 Curdle one yard of milk (5) Regardless, this week’s should 25 Revolutionary with tangled 19 Former anarchist leader be easier, and there is even a bit of 23 24 scrota (6) returns fire (3) a two-pronged theme to some of 28 Treasure an ideal (5) 20 Day before night (3) the clues. Enjoy. Please. 25 26 27 29 Apparently achieved victory all 24 Knicknack to wear? (7) Scarecrow alone (3) 26 Inspiration hesitates at institute 28 29 30 Scandinavian repeats final (6) section of race (4) 27 Not head of state, not head of Solution to Crossword 1,360 30 31 33 Disrupt an overdue undertaking government, not celebrated (6) I M B E C I L I T Y W B A N D (9) 31 Ring Val about deformed ring M C A U O E E T E C S O G I I 32 33 34 Sounds like Frenchman likes (4) P A N I C M F L A T H E A D S you running through London (6) 32 Fish has headless back of foot S E D G O E T G R R I O P F R 34 35 Lively yet gloomy word studies (3) N T W E A K I N G E P I E C E (9) J A A A N I S I A D W O R A G 35 A U G M E N T V S W A N S E A Jotting pad C R O I X S A I N T Y S P E R K I N E T I C E E A S T E N D Send your answers to [email protected] or bring this page A A M E E U H S L B E L C U S down to the Felix office in the West Wing of Beit Quad by Tuesday 9am. N A D I R N A N D S I X T Y S Each week, we’ll choose a winner and print their name, thus providing A T I A I S G E R S N B A C A them with almost unlimited kudos and self-satisfaction. This week, Victor P O T P O U R R I T C A T E R Lesk: a winner is you. Everyone who provides us with a correct solution E I T S R I I K C R A A O O I will get an entry into our prize draw at the end of the year. S H O W U O N E H U N D R E D CROSSWORD SUDOKU Sport page 31 1st XV rugby Student wins championship vs Middlesex Daniel Carrivick four races counting towards the championship I still had an outside Robert Phillipps The 2006 Quest adventure race chance of stealing the top spot. To series had been one of mixed emo- do this I’d have to perform better Middlesex found themselves in tions. The first race of the season than I ever had before. league 1A after BUSA’s restruc- took place in April in the New Forest Race day began rather sleepily turing, and were prepared for the where the fast flat tracks suited me. at 5am with a drive to the Wiltshire higher standard of rugby. I was pleased to score more points Downs. There I raced against 300 The match started with an en- than anyone else (820 points); how- other competitors, running, biking thusiastic Middlesex using their ever, this was overshadowed by the and kayaking to collect as many large forwards trying to break the fact I had picked up a time penalty, points as possible in the six hour IC defence, which was strong until which dropped me back to second time limit. Almost immediately af- midway through the first half when place despite sharing an equal ter setting off I’d made a couple of Middlesex tried a rare wide attack. number of points with the even- bad decisions but it wasn’t until I Taken by surprise, IC backs were tual race winner. Unperturbed, I fell off my bike into a patch of sting- sucked into leaving a gap for their focussed on the next race, held at ing nettles that it hit home. Unde- centre to sneak through and score. the end of May in the Brecon Bea- terred, I battled on, having to miss Imperial were straight back at cons. I was confident I’d be able to out some checkpoints. I started Middlesex with the forwards punch- make amends; however, I stupidly the kayaking late so there was no ing up the right touch line with some spent too much time and effort bik- way I would be able to visit all the great off-loads. The ball was then ing. This was a big mistake as the controls, thus I took it easy, con- spread left with quick hands from heavy rains meant it was quicker to serving energy for the run. By the the IC backs where it found Flan- run rather than bike along many of time I clambered out of my canoe nan, who crossed the try line… and the tracks. Consequently, my score my legs had seized. They loosened then the dead ball line, after briefly suffered, and I was only able to up once I got moving but the first losing his concentration thinking collect a disappointing 630 points. few minutes were hard work. I had he saw a mirror nearby! This was a real low point to my sea- to visit all the running checkpoints Imperial continued to domi- son. I had raced to the limit of my to have any chance of winning the nate with new fresher fly-half, Joe physical capacity, and yet I finished series. It was a big gamble, but I Brown, sniping through a gap for a some way off the pace. In the future paced myself and it paid off. Having fresher’s try. 5-7 down at half time, I vowed to take more time to think cleared the run, I was back on my Imperial were unlucky to be losing. about decisions. With the bad result bike to pick up a few more points on Imperial, determined not to lose behind me, the pressure was off for the way to the finish. As I knew all thier opening match, came out all the third race of the series staged too well, if points are shared, then guns blazing. Words and fists were on the Isle of Purbeck in July. I got positions were decided on time, so I exchanged, but thankfully Jov came off to a flying start and managed to kept pushing hard right to the line. out better looking than before. clear the kayaking stage with less Later, the results were announced. Middlesex, not up to IC fitness, let than a minute to spare. Next came I’d scored 810 points – enough to their defence slip and fresher Alex the biking, where I visited all but win the race and with it the series. Johnson scored in the corner at one of the checkpoints which set me It was close. After 24 hours of rac- the end of a good series of off-loads. up nicely for the running. I was sure ing, just five points separated me Imperial seemed in control with my final score of 805pts was good from my nearest rival but it didn’t good ball retention, which was con- enough for top spot. However, as matter. I was the 2006 Quest adven- firmed with an old IC rugby face, the results were read out I couldn’t ture race series champion! Alex O’Rourke, stormed over, drag- hide my disappointment at only get- Members of the Outdoor Club ging a number of Middlesex players ting third place. The chap who had regularly attend adventure races with him. piped me in the first race of the sea- and mountain marathons which Just to confirm the IC dominance, son had done it again. He came sec- are geared to suit all abilities, so Joe Brown broke the Middlesex de- ond with an equal number of points whether you want to compete at fence in the last move of the game. but he pushed me into third as he the highest level or just have a bit Imperial, not at their best, but collected them in a faster time. of fun, make sure you get in touch. with a good win (final score: 26-7) So with just one race left in the and lots of potential from new arriv- season, on September 16, I was still www.union.ic.ac.uk/rcc/outdoor/ als to the 1st team, Ben, Mike, Joe, looking for my first elite race win. I E-mail [email protected]. Alex and Dan, and strong perform- was placed third in the series over- For full scores and race reports ances from the old guard, Andy all, but with only three out of the see www.questars.co.uk Daniel Carrivick, the 2006 Quest adventure race series champion (man of the match), Hixxy, & Nath. 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