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HONIWeek Seven September 12 SOIT

We came, Dangerous ideas: Street art: we saw, Bitcoins and the the good, the bad we heckled Deep Web and the Banksy

REVUE SPECIAL 6 FEATURE 14 TABOO 18 Contents This Week 12 The Third Drawer 26 Sandstone Report Do Christians actually get laid? Asks Campus Security officer Samir Hannah Ryan in this week’s Horni Soit. maintains the rage. Bitcoins 14 Rafi Alam and Mason McCann Editor in Chief: Bebe D’Souza interrogate the online currency that lets you buy smack, crack, and anonymity. Editors: James Alexander, Hannah Bruce, Paul Ellis, Jack Gow, Michael Koziol, Rosie Marks-Smith, Culture Vulture James O’Doherty, Kira Spucys-Tahar, Richard Withers, 16 Sertan Saral spoils the end of Breaking Connie Ye Bad. Dumbledore dies. Reporters: Rafi Alam, Bryant Apolonio, Ben Brooks, Max Chalmers, Cindy Chong, Fabian Di Lizia, Victoria Lui, 17 Profile Neha Kasbekar, Pat Morrow, Justin Pen, Nick Rowboth- Max Chalmers speaks to foreign editor am, Hannah Ryan, Sertan Saral, Lane Sainty, Nina Ubaldi, of The Australian and ‘best friend’ of Lucy Watson Tony Abbott, Greg Sheridan. Contributors: Lovelle D’Souza, John Gooding, Tom Harris-Brassil, Jehan Kanga, Mason McCann, Patrick Taboo Massarani, Andrew Passarello, Mariana Podesta-Divero, 6 18 Beyond sniffing paint: Street Art. Xioaran Shi, Tim Scriven, Nick Sunderland, Donherra Campus Mariana Podestá -Divero. 4 Tim Scriven on why the USU is an Walmsley, Tara Waniganayaka authoritarian shitheap. Tech & Online Crossword: Paps Advertising: Amanda LeMay & Tina Kao 20 Ben Brooks reports on Apple’s patent Revue Bonanza! [email protected] 6 war. Fuck, I really want the iPhone 5. Honi met your dirty financing honour at Wuthering Heights High in Sin(x) City. And Mister Sister Act. Action-Reaction 21 Disclaimer: Richard Withers interviews Bernard Honi Soit is published by the Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney, Level 1 Wentworth News Review Foley. He plays tackle-ball. Building, City Road, University of Sydney, NSW, 2006. The SRC’s operation costs, space and 10 administrative support are financed by the University of Sydney. The editors of Honi Soit and the SRC EXCLUSIVE: Independent schools Lecture Notes acknowledge the traditional owners of this land, the Gadigal people of the Eora nation. Honi Soit is facing cuts in a move set to divide the 22 We didn’t fuck up the crossword this written, printed, and distributed on Aboriginal land. Honi Soit is printed under the auspices of the SRC’s Government. James O’Doherty directors of student publications: Rafi Alam, Peta Borella, Michael de Waal, Eleanor Gordon-Smith, week. Promise. Jeremy Leith, Leo Nelson, Astha Rajvanshi and Max Schintler. All expressions are published on the 11 Op-Shop basis that they are not to be regarded as the opinions of the SRC unless specifically stated. The Council SRC Pages accepts no responsibility for the accuracy of any of the opinions or information contained within this Expanding income management won’t ‘fix’ 23 newspaper, nor does it endorse any of the advertisements and insertions. Printed by MPD, Unit E1 46- remote communities, says Lovelle D’Souza. Phoebe Drake and a cast of lovable misfits deliver some reports. 62 Maddox St. Alexandria NSW 2015. Planner Honi’s Guide to what’s on

WED THU FRI

Debris Femme Locale ARNA Launch Party, Verge Gallery, FREE 8pm, TAP Theatre, Darlinghurst $15/$22 7pm, The Basement, $15+bf Join the 2012 editorial team to celebrate the official launch of Part of the Sydney Fringe Festival and running for five shows, Established to support emerging female singer/songwriters, the latest edition of ARNA - SASS’s annual literary and Debris is the debut play by burgeoning theatre company this inaugural event will be a wonderful evening of entertain- creative journal. Featuring special guest Mungo MacCallum, Mischief in the Woods. ment featuring Rainbow Chan, Little Miss, Lucy B, and Lily So. National Campus Band Comp State Book Fair The Pitchfork Disney Final, 7pm, Manning Bar, FREE 10am-4pm, University Quadrangle, FREE Sidetrack Theatre Marrickville, from $14.20 Remember Milkk? They recently won the Sydney Uni Band Comp. So head along and support these Our The annual event from the University of Sydney Chancellor’s The final night of Philip Ridley’s dark hallucination of a play. crazy kids in their efforts to take over the world. Pick Committee, which has over 65,000 second-hand books on offer. A disturbed brother and sister whose parents have http://www.manningbar.com/Whats_On/ However this is the final day so be quick! disappeared are visited by two vomiting, cockroach-eating EventsSummary.aspx showmen, Pitchfork and Disney.

MON/ SAT SUN TUES

Derby Baby Bogan-ville Burlesque The Mending Project 7pm, The Red Rattler, $10/$15 6pm, The Sly Fox Hotel, FREE 10am-5pm, MCA, FREE Witness the love and the pure addiction that drives tens of Another event in the Sydney Fringe Festival, this is an Austral- Become part of this artwork by bringing along a garment or thousands of women around the globe to don skates and ian take on the classic burlesque show, as if ‘Cabaret’ was set object that requires mending and connect with the artist mend- pseudonyms for the privilege of kicking each others’ asses. in modern day Rooty Hill RSL not 1930’s Berlin. ing your clothes through conversation. http://www.redrattler.org/event/481/Derby+Baby (http://2012.sydneyfringe.com/event/circus-and-burlesque/bogan-ville-burlesque) http://www.mca.com.au/events/mending-project/2616/

Piff the Magic Dragon Conversation Piece - Sunday Forum SRC/Honi/NUS elections pre-polling, 7pm, Playhouse, Sydney Opera House, $37 3pm, Belvoir St Theatre, $42 conc. 10am-3pm, SRC Offices,FREE This new work from Lucy Guerin’s has a different conversa- Come get your democracy on and vote in the SRC elections. All the way from Edinburgh, part of the Fringe Festival, Piff has Full polling will take place on Wednesday and Thursday. gone viral on YouTube and he’s opened for Mumford & Sons. tion between the performers each night. Plus head along to a Sunday Forum for the story behind the show. 2 honisoit @honi_soit Spam lETTERS Editorial Speaking out about Stop the Boats! mental illness Name withheld (electoral regs) Arts/Law II he University is about to enter enthusiasts that run SUSF. That money Girl Interrupted, negotiations to determine the was then directed predominantly to elite Dear Honi, T Arts (Languages) II allocation of the Student Services and athlete programs, and probably sweeter I am truly astounded at the level of Amenities Fee for 2013. smelling chlorine. The general member- Dear Honi, political ignorance in Poppy Burnett’s The SSAF is the $263 you forked out/ ship fees at SUSF were not even reduced I am writing in response to Alexandra article in Honi Soit (‘Houston, do we ignored/let your parents pay for at the as a result of the three million dollar Christie’s feature, ‘Weight Expectations’ really have a problem?’ August 29) beginning of the year. It represents a increase in funding. But hey, it’s an (August 29). Her question posed throughout weak throwback to the days of Olympic year, right? Having grappled with depression and the article was what is the inherent compulsory student unionism. Instead The Students Representative Council anxiety for the last decade, I can confirm “problem” in current political discourse of protecting student bodies through a that funds this newspaper received only that public awareness of mental illness over asylum seekers, questioning why guaranteed cash stream as CSU did, the $1,254,727 from the SSAF funding. This in general is grossly inadequate. I ap- stopping the boats is “a desirable funding is now arbitrated by a is a dismal figure when considering the plaud her for contributing to awareness goal”. Now, as fun as it is to paint puppeteer university administration direct role the SRC plays in the lives of about such issues on campus, and for her those who support offshore processing team. Student organisations are ex- students at this University. dedication to presenting a more accurate and deterrent policies as xenophobes pected to dance. A sub-optimum power The SRC provides free caseworkers portrayal of anorexia than is usually who have no other political incentive dynamic ensues. for students in need, organises protests given to us by the mainstream media. I or logic other than to stop brown When the University is responsible for against the retrospective cutting of some do, however, take issue with the notion people from arriving on our shores, this allocating funding to the very organisa- of our best professors and is respon- that anorexia is ‘ignored’ compared to characterisation in no way reflects either tions that are supposed to keep it to sible for advocating for a better learn- other mental disorders such as depres- major party’s stance on the issue. account, it is not surprising that funding ing experience for all students through sion and anxiety. Regardless of disorder, The reason why politicians frame often misses the mark in supporting that improvements in wifi coverage, reduced public awareness is universally inad- the arrival of boats as a problem isn’t nebulous ‘student experience’ we all classroom sizes and the provision of equate. Stigma still exists across all axes because they’re doing it to be dicks, but hold so dear. twenty-four hour study spaces. Issues and spectra of mental illness. because when people try to make it to The 2012 funding model saw Syd- that effect far more students than the Last year, I was finally diagnosed Australia, people die. Surprisingly, when ney University Sport and Fitness take few and the freakishly fit. with Borderline Personality Disorder, you have hundreds of people packed into top billing, receiving an incredible a chronic condition characterised by boats designed for fishing in river deltas, Bebe D’Souza $3,763,401. Far from empowering profound emotional pain, wide and that are now braving the waves of the I am also on Twitter, sometimes: student voices, this funding went di- frequent mood swings, self-harm, and Pacific and Indian oceans, not everyone @bebedsouza rectly into the hands of the aged sports chaotic relationships. Borderline is a lives to tell the tale, which is an awful, strongly stigmatised illness, so much that terrible thing. God forbid politicians try very few people know that I even suffer to adopt policies that tangibly save lives. from the disorder. A commonly-held If Ms Burnett is honestly confounded belief by those who know of the disorder as to what the problem which the parties Bob Carr not so Quizmaster’s is that sufferers are ‘bad’ or ‘crazy’. It’s are trying to solve (with one of the welcome alternate reality a hurtful and inaccurate stereotype that parties being historically and empirically Clare Fester Toby Miles leads me to keep my illness a secret. being far more successful than the other Anti-Racism Collective Arts III BPD affects 1.5 per cent of the in saving the lives of asylum seekers), population, and has a 10 per cent then I point her towards the foreword Dear Honi, Dear Honi, mortality rate by suicide. Like anorexia, of the expert panel’s report which It has been a dark few weeks Every week, two of my friends it is a serious disorder, similarly consistently talks about: “the prospect of for Australian politics, with Labor and I test our knowledge of trivia by prevalent, and with a high suicide rate. further losses of life at sea”. Literally, in shamefully reintroducing a refugee policy attempting The Quiz. And yet it occurs Anecdotally, I would argue that it is it’s in the first page of the report! worse than Howard’s Pacific Solution. to me that perhaps the writer of The unfair to suggest that, as a disorder, I’m happy to discuss different and For this reason, refugee activists from the Quiz is living in an alternate reality. anorexia is especially ignored. We need competing mechanisms of preventing Anti-Racism Collective were dismayed That would certainly explain the unique to raise awareness about all kinds of those tragic deaths, but until opponents to find that the ALP Club had invited display of geographical error which we mental illness, not compete with each of Government and Opposition policies Senator Bob Carr to speak on campus saw in Week 4. My friends and I were other over whose particular disorder at least try to understand the very basic last Friday. certainly surprised by the answer of should get the most recognition. The premises upon which those policies are Carr plans to use aid money to re- “Brazil” to Question 3 (“Which country way forward is to work at eliminating based, I’m not surprised that Ms Burnett establish the Pacific Solution 2.0 - but shares more borders than any other?”). the stigma associated with mental illness feels “alienated from the discussion.” aid money should be used to alleviate After a little quick Googling I found that in our society which keeps so many from misery, not inflict it! The government both Russia and China share roughly recovering. It’s a difficult task, and needs wants to bribe impoverished Pacific the same number of borders (between to be done through a collective effort Disney disaster islands so it can incarcerate refugees 12 and 16 depending on how you count from us all. Joshua Sprake indefinitely under torturous conditions. them, but either way still more than Arts II The Anti-Racism Collective fights to Brazil) and counting overseas territory, build a pro-refugee campus, so when even France’s 11 can one-up Brazil’s 10. Dear Honi, politicians come here to spout, defend And then of course there was James’ Want to win I have often defended the Honi editors or sidestep their policies we always drop astute observation regarding San Marino over claims of inaccuracies and poor by to make clear they will not get away in his letter last week. I must admit that $1500? journalism. However, there was such an The Honi Soit Opinion with it. though we thought of that oft-forgot egregious breach of not only accuracy Competition is back! The Labor party, and no-one more republic we assumed we were wrong - but also of the basic fundamentals of so than Carr, has justified its policies how wrong we were! The theme for this year is: childhood that I will not stand idly by by claiming they want to stop deaths at Hopefully, future faults of a as the core of our society’s values are sea. If there were an ounce of truth to geopolitical nature will be sought out ‘LIMBO’ attacked by such a poor and glaringly this Labor would decriminalise people and annihilated, but just in case, I obvious mistake. smuggling so boats could be organised shall be reading Honi with an atlas of Entries should be between I write this assuming that it was a safely in the open, or provide safe alternate realities firmly in hand. 700-800 words and the mistake as the consequences and possible passage and sturdy boats for refugees (Apologies Toby. Our quizmaster has winners will receive cash retaliation of this being an intended so they needn’t get on leaky boats in the developed an insidious crack addiction prizes and have their work attack on one of the most important first place. Better yet, the government over the past couple of weeks. He has published in Honi Soit. texts of my time, life and belief system could process refugees in Indonesia and been fed to the ibises. - Eds.) are too outreaching to assume otherwise. Malaysia directly and guarantee them Send your entries to - Anastasia was NOT a Disney movie, resettlement in Australia. Letters? [email protected] it was a DREAMWORKS film. As much A humane refugee policy can only Questions? as I am a personal lover of the film and begin by welcoming the boats. When Comments? With your name, year, personally can sing in harmony the song Carr is ready to put forward that kind of [email protected] faculty, student ID and “Once Upon a December” let us not policy, we will gladly welcome him back contact details sully the reputation of the hallowed texts onto the campus. by getting them incorrect. www.honisoit.com honisoit 3 Campus OPINION Weekly News A note from the NUS President Work & Organisation Society hosts Donherra Walmsley defends the National Union of Students

I write in reply to the report of the think that travelling around constantly Equal Pay Day panel SRC Vice President published in the is glamourous and fun, I’d invite you to Our egalitarian society is not reflected in working women’s pay, week 4 edition of Honi Soit regarding spend weeks on end sleeping on couches, writes Nick Sunderland the National Union of Students (NUS). floors, and spare mattresses and see how One of Australia’s most pernicious New Law School didn’t disappoint. The Vice President asserts that enjoyable you find it.) and pervasive discrimination issues University of Sydney academic Susan NUS is an “insignificant and useless Furthermore, the campaign budget of received due attention last week as McGrath-Champ opened the discussion organisation” that “spends more money most departments with the exception the Sydney University Work and by outlining the state of the problem. on its Office-Bearers’ pay and travel than of my own exceeds that of the travel Organisational Studies Society held its Despite widespread assumptions that it does on campaigns”. budget, because NUS most certainly annual Equal Pay Day event. the gender pay gap is decreasing and First of all, I’m not sure how you can recognises the importance of campaigns. It has been a big year for gender women’s conditions are improving, call an organisation which features in I certainly love a good rally and support pay policy in 2012, with a number of the experience has been markedly print, radio, and digital media at least direct action where it is called for, new policy initiatives adding a strong different. The current gender pay gap once a week - often upwards of 3-4 times however students will only mobilize context for the evening. The equal between the average full time earnings a week - insignificant, unless you don’t when something makes them angry remuneration case in front of Fair of men and women sits at 17.4 per cent, believe that students’ voices on student enough to do so. I’m not sure that “the Work Australia was finally resolved in remaining largely unchanged since the issues should be widely publicised government has increased funding to June this year and established a new equal pay for equal work legislation was alongside the views of universities, universities but not by enough” or approach to gender equality, which introduced in Australia in the 1980s. government, and opposition. Personally “the government has improved youth argued that the Queensland social care Nor is this something that only affects I think that having a student voice allowance but it’s still not good enough” sector is underpaid due to the fact that mothers or older women, with the out there on issues like student fees, is going to anger a student enough to it was mostly feminised. gender pay gap starting at $2,000 a year education quality, accessible housing, motivate them to go to a rally. In fact at the point of graduation. women’s safety, and student work I’m certain it’s not, because we tried it in While the gap between the existing rights - just to name a few that NUS 2010 and it didn’t work. legislation and the actual operation has spoken on in the fortnight alone - is If you think that the accomplishments of policy was highlighted by Melanie pretty important. of NUS including: the abolition of Fernandez from the Women’s Electoral Secondly, for the University of Sydney Domestic Undergraduate Full Fee Lobby, the feeling of disappointment SRC to criticise an organisation for places, the lowering of the age of turned to shock as Lisa Cabaero from spending more money on office bearer independence for income support from the Asian Women at Work organisation salaries than campaigns is hypocritical 25 to 22, the introduction of start up described the working conditions of and ironic, because the last time I looked and relocation scholarships, the increase some of her organisation’s members. at the SRC budget (as President in 2011 in the personal income test meaning Ms Cabaero recalled stories of women and General Secretary in 2010), the SRC students can earn $400/fortnight instead routinely working in hospitality for also spent more on student Office Bearer of $236/fortnight before payments $8-10 an hour, while out-work rates in salaries than it did on campaigns. OBs get docked, the numerous campuses some situations were averaging out as are paid in recognition of the fact that including Curtin and Swinburne who There have also been calls in the low as $3-5 an hour. With challenges student representation, done well, is a have secured better deals from the last few weeks from the federal such as these, the notion that change job that limits or precludes entirely your SSAF thanks to NUS’ assistance, the government’s Equal Opportunity for could be made with legislation alone ability to undertake other paid work. first ever survey of women’s safety on Women in the Workplace Agency for stands as a truly optimistic vision. Paying OBs means that it is not just campus which is still discussed by a businesses to start to quantify their While the debate on cause, wealthy students and students who have wide variety of organisations, and the gender targets within their organisations identification and response was wide- families who can afford to support them subsequent publication of a blueprint for rather than rely on vision and goals. ranging, what was certain is that our taking on roles, but that all students safety endorsed by many organisations These developments provided a rich ideas of Australian egalitarianism still have that opportunity. including Universities Australia are pool of current issues to draw upon, mask a deep inequality that exists for Many campuses are not as well useless and insignificant, then I really and the event’s panel discussion at the many members of our society. resourced as the University of Sydney, don’t know what you would consider and don’t have institutional knowledge significant. required to run successful campaigns This is without even touching upon alone. Activists on these campuses the numerous government and sector Patriotic Paralympians require the assistance of Office-Bearers reference groups on which I sit, and Sydney athletes are performing strongly to run campaigns, and this is why NUS the work NUS does on a daily basis in London, reports Kira Spucys-Tahar OBs travel around and visit campuses. supporting campuses with a wide range The University of Sydney’s NUS could spend all the money we liked of issues – I’d happily write thousands Paralympians are beating the best with on campaigns, but without OBs traveling of words if there were room enough in our seven female athletes impressing on around to skill up activists on how to Honi, but feel free to send any questions the world’s stage in London. Australia organise effectively, campaigns won’t to [email protected] is currently ranked fifth on the official get run. (As a side note, NUS doesn’t medal tally with 31 gold, 23 silver and pay for us to stay in hotels; so if you Donherra Walmsley is the NUS President 29 bronze medals. Angela Ballard, who is currently photos studying for Psychology Honours, had previously won medals in Athens and Psychology student Angie Ballard was a silver medallist. Photo: Sydney University Beijing. An athlete who competes in GlassThe New Law buildingWarfare faced a sticky situation last week when ‘anarchists’ papered over its glass walls with secular signs and posters, in protest against the University of Sydney wheelchair racing, Ms Ballard won a Union’s funding of Interfaith Week. bronze medal in the 100m and a silver a gold medal in the 100m Breaststroke medal in the 400m race. Ms Ballard won event. Ms Watt was presented with her also won a silver medal in the 200m, bronze medal by Vision Australian Board breaking an Australian record with a Member and Sydney University Emeritus time of 29.35 seconds. Professor of Law Ron McCallum AO. Sydney Uni WheelKings and Commerce student Katrina Porter, Wheelchair Flames representatives Katie who won a gold medal in Beijing, made Hill and Sarah Stewart were part of the finals of the 400m Freestyle, 100m the silver medal-winning wheelchair Backstroke and 100m Breaststroke. basketball team. The Gliders were Sydney Uni Swim Club member Sarah defeated 44-58 by Germany, with Hill Rose, who won bronze in Athens, made and Stewart scoring four and two points the finals of the 50m Butterfly. respectively. Arts/Education student Jenny Blow In the swimming, Science student and and her Goalball team were knocked out three-time Paralympian Prue Watt won a in the preliminary rounds. This was Ms bronze medal in the 50m Freestyle and Blow’s first Paralympics.

4 honisoit @honi_soit Campus OPINION Usu The Cool Makers of Manning Censure motion stifles speech Studying for a PhD in Chemistry, and in his eighth year at Sydney Uni, USU board members must express their views, writes Tim Scriven Jehan Kanga reflects on the changes at Manning Bar You’ve probably heard that Tom Raue of the Union; this does not bode well for As one of Verge Festival’s Directors keep their daggy Manning Bar T-shirts was censured by the University of Sydney discussion around the big issues on the in 2009, I was privileged enough to because, back then, it really was the Union (USU) for publicly stating that he horizon like SSAF. opposed the funding of LifeChoice and Many of us feel that the way the USU work with many USU staff, working coolest place to be in Sydney. Interfaith week. A censure motion is a handled the matter was disturbing. In intimately with everyone from the Rock The culling of all-ages events, gigs motion of condemnation by the Board. response to public concern about the up- Office, the Marketing and Design team, branded as ‘metal’, and the banning While it doesn’t itself remove a Director, coming motion, the USU released a blog Bars, Catering, and the ACCESS office. of sexy burlesque gigs meant entire if the Board finds he has breached his post stating, or at least heavily implying, Even though I had been active at USYD (lucrative) demographics of young metal duties again, it may then have grounds to that Tom had acted in a way worthy of in several major societies and revues heads and queer/fem communities were remove him. censure. This was before the censure yet I couldn’t see (and therefore ap- locked out. Those events have found The thrust of the case against Tom had motion had been voted on, which hardly preciate) the amount of work that went homes at the refurbished Imperial Hotel two prongs; firstly that he acted against increases one’s confidence in the process. into operating the Union and talent in Erskineville which caters to an in- the interests of the union, secondly that Perhaps the most absurd aspect of the employed in throwing massive parties, clusive queer crowd of more than 3000 he misrepresented Board policy. It is USU’s actions is its naive assumption gigs, band comps, and festivals, not to on a good night and to the Annandale unclear to me how stating Board policy, that censuring a Board Director will being careful to distinguish it from your protect its brand. The backlash has al- mention supporting the C&S program. which has benefited from an increased own opinion, and calling for change ready been significant. Discussion of the The team that USU had on the front number of gigs they can schedule per constitutes “misrepresentation”. censure motion trended on Twitter. The line in 2009 was something of a dream week. Manning is now vanilla - a relic Nor did he act against the interest of history of attempts to control image by team: talented, cohesive, efficient and of older bureaucrats who never under- the Board; public debate is in the interest suppressing speech gives little reason for youthful - something USU management of the Board. The USU is supposed to optimism, as outrage typically strength- I think are only just realising. be based on genuine democracy of the ens and amplifies the original message. Many of those talented people lost “The failure of Snowball is the membership. To suggest that a director Tom ran on an explicitly progressive their jobs in 2010. A friend of mine, ultimate barometer for the expressing his personal view to the mem- platform and was elected to the Board by bership, in order to encourage public progressive students who wanted to be Bel, was a long time senior but casual USU’s current management. member of the bar staff. She would debate on the policies of the USU, is an heard. In my view he represented them manage Hermann’s and Manning at Parties like that were insult to the ideal of member control and responsibly, and by no stretch of the participation. A pretend united front by imagination did he put the Union under the same time whilst there were major considered events that could the Board Directors on the other hand, threat. He was supported by a sizeable events operating at both (some serious never fail in 2009.” dampens debate, as it makes it appear as constituency when around twenty-five talent). She worked with the experi- if there is no dissent. students turned up to support him, a ence licensee at the time Ian Redpath Why does the USU feel that a Board far greater number of ordinary students who could probably set up and manage stood the value of talented front line Director joining public discussion that one usually sees at Board meetings. a small bar on Mars if you gave him staff hired from the student body. around its programs is a threat? I would He has borne this censure with dignity, the chance. Ian was retrenched (prob- What the Union failed to understand like to imagine the USU is robust enough but was visibly upset when the motion ably because he’d been around “too (and still do) is that USYD students are to tolerate dissent and discussion on passed. long” and his wages were higher than also members of the wider community, these issues. Instead it seems remarkably Tom deserves our support. Let the a new recruit). This marked the begin- and that the wider population of the shy for an organisation that started as union know how you feel, you can con- ning of the end, with some new recruits inner west often have strong ties to Syd- a debating society. Interfaith week and tact the president at [email protected]. LifeChoice are far from core initiatives edu.au. textbooks

famously unable to attach beer kegs to ney Uni. Censoring events by type killed taps and in incident ensuing in which the cool that Manning once had. The CHEAP! an order for a new batch of gin, vodka, older kids set the agenda, the younger Don’t pay full price for textbooks... and tequila before Eurovision in 2010 kids followed and learnt what a really buy them at SRC books. was forgotten (a massive downer for the good party was. This is ever more per- entire party when the spirits stopped tinent for current students as they don’t flowing at 7:30pm). Bel didn’t hang remember a time before 2010. around, since she was never offered a It exasperates me to hear that USU full time or more secure part time posi- and the university want to spend (prob- tion managing the bars, despite being ably tens of millions) on renovating a well loved by students and staff alike. functional space, when the space is not The same story goes for all the other the problem. You could throw the big- teams too. The loss of Will Balfour, and gest party since Cory Worthington in then Richie Cuthbert sucked the life out the School of Chemistry and thousands of the venue. Richie was one of the most would come if the bands, DJs, and well-known people in the inner west, a promotion were right, and bars were kind of glitterati hipster who by mere run efficiently with friendly and familiar association gave Manning serious street staff. Besides, the 90s is now actually cred. Along with Dave Springer, they cool - so a design renovation surely had the clout in the music industry to would recreate what currently exists. call upon major promoters like Chugg The failure of Snowball is the ulti- • We buy & sell textbooks according to demand Entertainment who represent Gotye mate barometer for the USU’s current • You can sell your books on consignment. and Rufus Wainright and get them to management. Parties like that were con- Please phone us before bringing in your books. play for a fraction of their normal gig sidered events that could never fail in • We are open to USYD students & the public price. They turned a dump with daggy 2009, forever making money, and creat- 90s interior into “that dump with 90s ing that sense of cool for the Union. It NEW Location! Level 4, Wentworth Bldg Search for text books online interior that EVERYONE in Sydney seemed so easy - an event that could run (Next to the International Lounge) www.src.usyd.edu.au/default.php wanted to hang out at”. The generation itself. USU management need to swal- Hours: Mondays to Fridays 9am - 4.30pm of students who are just older than me low their pride, accept that bureaucratic Call 02 9660 4756 to check availability Phone: (02) 9660 4756 revere Manning in a way in which stu- penny pinching in 2010 has cost it and reserve a book. Email: [email protected] dents now cannot imagine. They even millions and invest in high quality staff facebook.com/honisoitsydney honisoit 5 Revue Bonanza

honisoit.com/revues RevueArchitecture • Arts • Commerce • Education • EngineeringSeason • Law • Medicine • Queer • Science commerce Dirty Financing Rafi Alam thought the sex couldn’t compensate for a lack of laughs Slow off the mark but scraped a happy ending, says Max Chalmers

Commerce and Economics were not obviously in the form of an an a cappella The 2012 Commerce Revue Dirty efforts and cheered heartily after several subjects I was particularly enthused barbershop quarter parody of Outkast’s Financing followed the golden rule of scenes, including one where a woman about pursuing at high school, and as ‘Hey Ya’. amateur theatre; put your filler first. The struggled in vain to use the supermarket such was nudged out by my disappointed Standout skits were few and far opening half of the show was patchy. self-check-out aisle, resulting in her own teachers. Despite this, I have a decent between. One sketch about unionised Several of the skits were all investment fatal demise. understanding of the current economic superheroes managed to hit the mark, and no dividend, with half-decent punch A common trick was to re-contex- climate. I came to Commerce Revue and pithy punchlines like “investment lines an underwhelming reward for long tualise racist aphorisms. In one skit a 2012, Dirty Financing, with this in mind. wanker” scraped a laugh. preambles. Martian tells an earthling to go back to Unfortunately, Dirty Financing focuses The show lost its way when deviat- There were evidently some first night where he came from because “we grew most of its attention on subpar one-liners ing from relevance – a song about the nerves as lines were forgotten and po- here, you flew here”, while in another a or, worse yet, should-have-been-one-lin- difficulties of public transport pulls at tentially sound sketches became shaky. waiter trying to serve another course to ers: those sketches that were dragged out common experience, while a joke about However, some of the more absurd skits Bob Katter and a guest is rebuffed by a as fillers. Skits were, almost consistently, Stevie Wonder being blind is tired, done, came off well. “I just wish you had bet- “fuck off, we’re full”. painful to watch. The writing tread and dead. So are, generally speaking, ter service,” a man tells Siri, to which the Several particularly talented singers the fine line between absurd ‘random’ hipster jokes. automated program responds: “WHAT and actors elevated the on stage presence humour and frustrating pointlessness. The show certainly lived up to its THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MY and the musical numbers consistently Where it excels, however, is during its promise of sex appeal, with plenty of CERVIX!?” injected energy at crucial moments. The conceptual musical scenes, wonderfully skin and racy choreography. Unfortu- Points also for managing to tie the musicals were unfortunately hampered lambasting a world of dodgy politics. nately, the ‘sexy’ skits weren’t great, with obligatory Carly Rae Jepson joke into by the fact the lyrics were displayed too The dancing was a joy to watch, and the jokes about blow jobs, hand jobs, more the show’s theme with a “nobody puts low, leaving them blocked by the danc- amateur dancing was endearing rather dick jokes, and a naked panel interview maybe in the corner” line. ers. The show did not have the polished than jarring. The singing on the other falling flaccid (sorry). The second half was a notable im- finish of some of the bigger revues, but hand was inconsistent, but strong female All in all, Dirty Financing was a bit provement. Even the sketches with its lack of pretension meant you were leads kept the show going. disappointing, but thanks to a few well- tenuous punch lines remained enter- prepared to overlook this and enjoy the Where the singing wasn’t the great- executed skits the show wasn’t a regret taining as the cast found their groove. good with the bad. est, sheer bravery made up for it, most to watch. The crowd responded to their renewed

Dirty Financing’s aliens and abs.

Cashing in on applause: the lead cast of Commerce revue.

law How I Met Your Honour Tight law students provide good value for money, says Victoria Lui

To nobody’s shame and dishonour, Vida’ while everything from the refugee Law Revue gave audiences an impressive policy to the carbon tax was covered spectacle this year that was as clever as in the first half’s high-spirited closing it was hilarious. Starting with a series of number. The ‘Assange Extradition’, excellent Olympic-centric song parodies set to that R. Kelly classic ‘Ignition’, that rivaled the opening ceremony itself was particularly clever but it was the in entertainment value, How I Met Your barbershop tribute to Penny Wong and Honour kicked off a strong show that marriage equality, sung to the tune of married timely satire with moments of ‘Stacy’s Mum’, that was both witty and fantastic weirdness (yes, last year’s gro- surprisingly sweet.

tesque hanky man made an appearance A welcomingly frequent recurring joke The famed Law revue dance faces in action. and it was glorious). about disparate mash-ups was especially The show’s highlights were without a well received, giving us such amazing more tightly executed shows of the revue up some of the revue’s weaker sketches. doubt its great song and dance num- punchlines as Virginia Woolf Creek, season but this year’s briskness gave it a With the exception of a relatively weak bers, the abundance of which made me Man versus Oscar Wilde, and Tortanic greater sense of comedic timing than it number that gave the show its abrupt wonder if any other cast in revue history - while the show’s audio-visual sketches did just militaristic efficiency. This was ending, How I Met Your Honour made ever had to learn so much choreography included an especially funny ‘Shit Law evident in the show’s snappy momentum, for the best two billable hours a group of before. The Queen lamented a post-colo- Students Say’. giving its brief skits and visual gags some lawyers could ever give us. nial Olympics to the sounds of ‘Viva La Law Revue has always been one of the additional punch while helping to liven

6 honisoit @honi_soit Revue Bonanza

RevueArchitecture • Arts • Commerce • Education • EngineeringSeason • Law • Medicine • Queer • Science Architecture Game of Homes More Gehry than Eames, the shock tactics didn’t impress Cindy Chong It’s a fine line between humour and overt racism, says Connie Ye There are two main words to describe competition to build a castle for The This year’s Architecture Revue was bethan pansies and hip hop aficionados the 2012 Architecture Revue – offensive King. The three architects competed with like my elderly grandmother: earnestly were definite highlights, along with the and awkward. Game of Homes broke the key ingredient being blue Lego. The well-meaning, and unexpectedly racist at superbly tight band. many writers’ rules for their blatantly sketch was over-milked though, and the times. Unlike some other revues, poli- Many of the sketches could have unpleasant racist jokes depicting the lack revue closed with a dance on how to tics wasn’t the mainstay. Instead I came benefited greatly from being cut short of difference between Chinese people and build a castle. to expect safe laughs, with lowbrow significantly. As they say, length is the names, and slightly anti-Semitic jokes The amount of pop-culture references humour (semen, faeces, houses made of soul of dire sketches, and those like the that make you wonder whether a revival in the revue has to be commended. An penises, penis removal surgery, incest) nude ‘facetious jammed printers’ sketch of the Nazi movement is secretly conjur- Angry Birds sketch, and a video poking and ridiculous non sequiturs like the would have been vastly more enjoyable ing among Architecture students. At least fun at Instagram, renaming it to Insta- bizarre giraffe ‘spirit animal’ skit. Then without painfully protracted gags on they didn’t mention dead babies! crap with filters such as overexposed and there were those which drew uncom- language settings which again verged Unfortunately, their musical numbers footshot, was hilarious. The dance-off fortable groans and heckles with more on the unnecessarily racist. The videos had more to do with people’s bodies between the Olde English and twenty- risque gags about Asian stereotypes and and graphics showed far more promise, than the amount of dubious laughter in first century youth was witty, entertain- oven references in the ‘Nazi Jehovah’s including the now seemingly ubiquitous the audience. Their shit jokes (literally) ing, and consisted of fine costumes – and Witness’ skit. If there was any social Instagram parodies in ‘Instacrap’ and the in the parody of Katy Perry’s ‘Firework’ even included the current YouTube commentary in those particular sketches, ‘job interview’ sketch which transitioned displayed two singers sitting on make- sensation ‘Gangnam Style’ in the mix of then they were definitely buried deep well into a live skit. shift toilets singing about the movement songs. The sketch on dysfunctional print- under questionable writing and execu- I did have a personal issue with the and sounds of “poo” and how it goes ers in our libraries also had the mutual tion of ideas. way the show ended. When you kill off “oooh”. And their take on The Zutons’ support of Sydney Uni students. The theme based on Game of Thrones, the character that wins the architec- ‘Valerie’ manifested in the form of taunt- One thing Game of Homes excelled in of three bumbling architects competing ture competition, and get the surviving ing trans bodies with lyrics such as “I was their band. Their array of musical to win the chance to design the king’s characters to help him do an interpreta- had penis-removal surgery”, and how instruments, and talent at playing vari- new home, was neatly executed through tive dance, it adds a (pardon the pun) wearing a dress was okay after the doc- ous scores was very impressive – by far an evocative set of three doors (they are limp note to what otherwise would have tor had come over. the best band I’ve ever seen in a revue. Architecture students, after all) which been a satisfying finish. Having said that, However, their plot sketches were On the other hand, their writing and allowed for multiple clever entrances and as your ordinary average punter, it was thoroughly more enjoyable than the mu- scripts need a lot more reconsideration. exits during scenes. The Ironchef ‘build- enjoyable so long as one came to the sical numbers. Game of Homes depicted It was an interesting experience overall. off’ between the competing architects show with an open mind. And preferably three architects in an Iron Chef-esque and the dance duel between the Eliza- intoxicated.

A death comparable to that of Ned Stark? We love building things (up to a climax!) Photo: Zoya Kuptsova law Nick Rowbotham dissented from the hype

I am by no means a seasoned revue sual interludes - particularly the all-too- urge to cover as much ground as possible attendee, but my expectations for How I true ‘Shit USyd Law Students Say’ - and prevented it from being the polished Directors and assistant directors Christina White, Met Your Honour were inflated by prac- its absolutely fucking awesome brass product that it could have and perhaps Meriana Gyory, Harry Knight, Sam Farrell, and Charlotte Johnstone-Burt. tically everyone I spoke to whom had band: they even did a cover of the Daria should have been. Photo: Margaret Zhang ever seen a Law Revue. So it was with theme tune. some surprise that I left the show feeling But despite being punctuated by an somewhat dissatisfied. ample amount of memorable skits and Undoubtedly, the revue had its witty, songs, to me, large parts of the show felt and sometimes hilarious, moments. flat. This could be attributed primarily Musical highlights included an a cap- to its length; throughout the near two pella ode to Penny Wong, to the tune of and a half hours (with an interval), some ‘Stacy’s Mum’; ‘Extradition’, a Julian of the short skits, in particular, seemed Assange styled parody of R. Kelly’s extraneous to the revue’s overarching ‘Ignition’; and, of course, the numerous progression. The Olympic material at the songs featuring the show’s simultaneous beginning of the show was also lacking protagonist and villain, Julia Gillard, in continuity, and struck me as incongru- depicted in eerily convincing fashion by ous with the (largely) political satire that red-headed director Sam Farrell. followed. Other noteworthy aspects of How I As revues go, How I Met Your Honour Met Your Honour were its sleek audiovi- was certainly not a bad show, but its honisoit.com honisoit 7 Revue Bonanza honisoit.com/revues

Revue Season

Architecture • Arts • Commerce • Education • Engineering • Law • Medicine • Queer • Science

science Long and indulgent but justifiably so, says Patrick Morrow

Sin(x) City With a running length of two-and-a- not struck in another haunting sketch, Neha Kasbekar learns to speak Science half hours, Sin(X) City certainly had a whose premise I have forcibly forgot- Revues are a lot like first love: there’s ond half. While bits mostly escalated to long time to win us over with laughs and ten due to its excess of exposed scientist the period where it actually happens, a satisfying coda (the fantastically-staged spectacle. It was a success, but it had its flesh). It’s time to where dizzying peaks are balanced bank-robbers sequence, for one), there not insignificant flaws. Strength in numbers further succeeded by painful troughs. Then there’s the were a few that relied on non sequiturs Time, the chief concern, saw plenty of in the a cappella routines. To those mythologising that comes ever after, for punch-lines, like a sketch mocking pieces whose laudable high points came farther back, volume may have rendered where anything even remotely unpleasant dub-step, or were promising ideas that early on, begging for a snap to black and them incomprehensible, but from where I recedes into memory. simply lost momentum, an especial afflic- violent applause, only to taper off to an was seated the Google Chrome, Jetpack, The 2012 Science Revue will be no tion of the videos. uncertain close, five minutes later. The and Bad Dream numbers were very well exception. At its best, Sin(x) City was Nonetheless, to review this as a Sci- through-line was likewise inconsistent. written, and just as well sung (most audacious, disarmingly hilarious, and ence student would, what worked > what Though the noir aesthetic was beauti- every number, it is worth adding, was deserving of a review little more than a did not. It’s the rare show where even ful, its dialogue was tired and ultimately well sung; here an incredibly honourable highlights reel. the casually sexist heckles are basically groan-inducing. How we could maintain mention to Allister Haire, whose voice There was utter commitment by the supportive. For the spectacle, the risk- that crime was no more, in spite of the moistens). cast, most notably in a sketch taking the taking, and the palpable joy of everyone god-awful voiceover gags, was the great- In keeping with musical strengths, the concept of ‘Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour involved in the production, Science est mystery of all. band cannot be overlooked, nor over- Beans’ to its inevitable conclusion. Revue is a strong contender for the best Given the wealth of talent at their dis- praised. They were perhaps afforded too Sharp, imaginative writing, from videos revue of this season. posal, stronger leads could have allevi- much time between sketches, but it really like ‘Sketchception’ to the overarching ated a lot of the through-lines problems, is hard to object whilst tears of nostalgia geek noir storyline. Consistently strong for the cohort was huge. This size was an well to the theme tunes of Arthur and musical numbers, in particular the asset, for the most part, but the open- Fireman Sam. acapella paean to Google Chrome. The ing number (in an attempt at something Of all the indulgence to be found in thoughtful use of the band and the space, epic) looked cluttered, and would have Sin(X) City, the bows were amongst the VOTE! be it gunshot sounds produced by well- been well served with fewer, better cho- most long-winded, but there was license timed snare hits or blue-light raves. reographed feet. The balance, though, for them to be. For congratulations are Science Revue was however plagued by was perfectly struck in the post-interval, due - this was a properly entertaining a run of weaker material early in the sec- Tron-Orgy laser show (and was definitely show. queer Mister Sister Act Justin Pen found some of his Favourite Things in Queer Revue Patrick Massarani enjoys a sexually deviant tour de force

What Mister Sister Act may’ve lacked mens are a Girl’s Best Friend’ and ‘We When first I heard Queer Revue 2012, culprit but these incidents went some in robotically tight choreography or a Come from Oxford Street’ were theatri- Mister Sister Act was getting Catho- way to dismantling this author’s glossy consistently taut script, it made up for in cal and lyrical knock-outs, satirising the lic, naturally, I thought the worst. But homosexual musical-theatre archetype. soul. Evangelical Union and celebrating the thankfully and aptly they brought an Highlights included ‘Hymens Are A Built on a steady premise – reimagin- many faces of queer culture, respectively. audience to their knees and kept them Girl’s Best Friend’ and ‘Twink’. ing the cast of Sister Act as a lewd crew Staged in the Seymour’s Centre’s un- there (mostly) for over an hour. Amen. Notably, the fun kept rolling at inter- of drag queens, gay gangsters and lesbian derground auditorium, Reginald Theatre, Thankfully, a loose narrative thread val where the whistling and toe-tapping nuns – the show’s driving storyline the show felt insulated and cosy –‘A wove daintily betwixt the frotting, felt- followed the audience all the way to served as a roadworthy vehicle for some Few of My Favourite Things’ probably ing, and fisting of the evening’s festivi- men’s room and returned refreshed some impressive musical numbers and great won’t be performed until a second sexual ties. Drag Empress Clitaurus Van Carti- discreet time later. name gags. The latter completely dis- liberation – apt for a risqué, funny and gay (John Francis) seeks refuge from the Bro Reveleigh’s contribution brought pelled my belief in diminishing returns. at times touching Queer Revue. Gaystapo (six impressionable young men particular delight. His commanding In no particular order: Headlining with more package between their thighs soliloquy ‘The Tell-Tale Tart’, lament- Drag Queen ‘Clitaurus Van Carti-gay’, than a Indonesian drug mule) amongst ing the fucking abominable state of the Police Officer ‘Seargentle Lover’, and of the Grind of St Ellen deGeneres (a pha- ‘Masterchef’ phenomenon, had this course, Mob Boss ‘Adolf Jizzler’. lanx of fuzz bumping, clam diving, nuns author’s neckerchief in knots. The show’s skits veered in humour dressed in neon tartan handkerchiefs). Oddly, Kristin Stewart was victim to and tone. Lampooning student politics With more rug-munching jokes than a particularly cruel pair of skits, being in ‘Hacks Anonymous’ (‘you know the a Persian dietician, our habit-clad nuns portrayed under spotlight as a length of smell of that fresh pack… of chalk’); lead by Sapphic Superstar and Mother 2x4 in a wig. While marginally amusing ‘The Hunger Games (before Mardi Superior Gayda de Mesa were a suitably the first time, the second time I spent 45 Gras)’ pitted weight-watching gay men raucous adornment throughout. Their seconds staring at a bare stage and stick against a cupcake; and the parodic Gaystapo counterparts were equally in a wig it wore thin. A minor blemish. spoken-word performance, ‘The Tell Tale endearing, while answering that age old Special mentions to Annie Wylie for Tart’, finally bringing together those two question: “Just how many socks can you her ore-inspiring portrayal of notably cultural icons Poe and Preston, all earned stuff into the front of your camouflage maligned sack-of-shit Gina Rinehart and rapturous applause. patterned Calvin Kleins whilst still seem- also Michael Koziol for a triumphant On the other hand, the pre-recorded ing plausible?” Sandra Sully – showing us he is equally videos caricaturing Gina Rinehart as an Chorus singing was lovably enthusi- at home ‘treading the boards’ as he is overweight and ungainly slob felt lazy astic but often descended into a schiz- shuffling through the bushes of his local and formulaic, despite its excellent pro- oid harmonic car crash. Opening night beat. duction values. Musically, however, ‘Hy- A scene from “GYNO210”. Photo: Rob Jones sound and tech wobbles were the likely 8 honisoit @honi_soit honisoit.com/revues Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney Annual Election

Architecture • Arts • Commerce • Education • Engineering • Law • Medicine • Queer • Science It’s time to VOTE! in the SRC elections Polling Booth Times & Locations 2012

Polling Wed 19th Thurs 20th Location Sept 2012 Sept 2012 Fisher 8:30-6:30 8:30-5:00 Pre-Polling will also Manning 10:00-4:00 10:00-4:00 be held outside Cumberland 11:00-3:00 11:00-3:00 the SRC’s Offices, Level 1 Wentworth SCA 12:00-2:00 No polling Building, on Engineering No polling 12:00-2:00 Tuesday 18th Conservatorium 12:00-2:00 No polling September from Jane Foss 8:30-6:00 8:30-6:00 10am-3pm.

Authorised by Paulene Graham, SRC Electoral Officer 2012. Students’ Representative Council, The University of Sydney Phone: 02 9660 5222 www.src.usyd.edu.au honisoit.com honisoit 9 News Review education on the campaign trail Cuts to NSW Independent school View from the funding imminent voting booth: an A bill slashing funding to Independent schools could be tabled before the end of the year. James O’Doherty reports election day diary 1am Saturday – It has become apparent though – he is interested in buying an The NSW Government is under fire Under current funding arrangements, that other parties have been tearing down apartment off the plan in the “nice part” for proposed cuts to Independent school Independent schools receive about 25 per our posters from poles. We are too tired of Glebe. They resolve to investigate their funding, after Education Minister Adrian cent of the funding allocated to those in to retaliate. Final blitz of distributing re- options. Keating once described this sort Piccoli announced $67 million could be government schools per student. sources to booth captains and then home. of person as a tap dancing basket weaver. stripped from Independent and Catholic Dr Collier said contrary to popular be- They are the modern face of the Left, I’m schools. lief, most Independent schools don’t have 7am – Setting up at Forest Lodge. There is told. I despair. In a statement on Monday, Mr Piccoli the money to absorb these cuts. a sea of green – Clover has co-opted The said “no decision has been made about “Many parents live on the cusp, scrap- Greens’ branding for this election. Probably 11:00am – I am replaced and take an how savings will be achieved in the edu- ing money together to send their children not a bad move around here. early lunch before heading across to St cation portfolio”. to low-fee Independent schools,” Dr 9am – I meet a Greens volunteer. She is a Scholastica’s at the other end of Glebe – But Honi Soit has learned that propos- Collier told Honi. former ALP member and admits that she absolute Clover Country. The typical Clover als to cut funding have been discussed in He said these schools would be facing participated in our community preselec- supporter is in his or her mid 60s, wears cabinet. Sources say Mr Piccoli is likely fee increases of up to 20 per cent. tion. Greens like the ALP when it suits silly glasses and is a bicycle fancier. to be preparing to bring an amendment As fee increases push students to the them, but vote against us when it counts. 11:15am – One of the Greens’ candidates bill to the House, probably before the public sector, these proposed cuts could 9:30am – The Liberal turns up late. He is here handing out with her daughter. The end of the year. end up costing the NSW Government looks out of place and then admits to liv- daughter is complaining about the light rail The move has the potential to split the more than they aim to save by the cuts. ing on the north shore. Apparently Tony extension to Dulwich Hill. Apparently this party, with some Liberal MPs saying they “This could save the government some Abbott has called in favours to support will promote overuse by commuters and will cross the floor to vote against the money in the short term but end up cost- his sister, Christine Forster. I can never she may not score a seat every morning. cuts. ing it a lot more,” said Stephen Grieve, understand how the Liberals win elections Public transport? Not in my back yard. Dr Geoff Newcombe, executive direc- President of the NSW Parents’ Council. without grassroots support. 12:00pm – 4:00pm – I pass the time tor of the Association of Independent The government pays more per student 9:45am – Dr Meredith Burgmann arrives. with a volunteer for the ‘Housing Action’ Schools, confirmed Catholic and Inde- in public education, so an increase to She is a living legend and a Labor hero. I independents. They want more support pendent school representatives had been public school admissions would cost the go to chat to her and discover a Liberal ha- for public housing. I decide he is a fellow told by Mr Piccoli the funding restruc- government more than they would save. rassing voters behind the no-go chalk line. I traveller and we share the lunch provided ture was indeed to go ahead. It is understood there is palpable con- berate him with my best Labor vocabulary. by the ALP. He said independent schools are set to cern in the Liberal caucus that a Nation- 6:00pm – I settle in for scrutineering lose twice as much funding as Catholic als MP has been given such free reign 10:15am – The Greens have a new the count of votes at Sydney Town Hall. I schools thanks to the funding cutbacks. over education funding. helper. They have a more relaxed roster have obviously upset someone to end up Chair of the Association of Heads of Honi has been told Cardinal George than Labor, with quicker turnaround. The in this particular political gulag. There are Independent Schools Dr John Collier said Pell met with the Premier and federal replacement also voted in the ALP commu- 11,000 ballot papers. any cuts to Independent school fund- Opposition Leader Tony Abbott, both nity preselection. Me-tooism is pervasive in ing would flow on to affect Government Catholics, to raise concern with the their movement and one of the reasons I 10:00pm – We spend four hours argu- schools. proposal. disapprove of them. ing about who lost to Clover Moore and in “Many parents will withdraw their Cabinet was scheduled to have a 10:30am – The Clover volunteer and what order and I leave in a huff with a dead children from Independent schools and regular meeting on Monday afternoon, the Greens helper are talking about real phone and no Twitter. It has been a long send them to government schools,” Dr after Honi Soit went to print. It was estate. This is Sydney after all. Clover day. Collier said in a joint-letter to Mr Piccoli not known whether the issue would be approved a development in Harold Park Tom Harris-Brassil is a member of the and Premier Barry O’Farrell. discussed again. which the Greens opposed. Not this Green Australian Labor Party world tour Post-apartheid mistakes haunt South Africa today Economic self-determination failed to accompany social revolution and now the consequences are apparent, writes Fabian Di Lizia

Over the past few weeks, the world which forbade support of local industries Workers at Lonmin have called for a platinum market has skyrocketed, with and factories - hence governments could wage rise, demanding an increase of 200 prices momentarily exceeding those of not create jobs. The ANC signed the per cent to 12,500 rand (US$1486) per gold. One of the largest platinum mines World Trade Organization’s intellectual month. Many of the workers live in a in the world, Lonmin’s Marikana opera- property agreement, which forbade rickety township nearby, with no elec- tion just outside Johannesburg, has virtu- South Africa from copying formulae for tricity or water in their homes. ally ceased production. AIDS drugs. Such medications, owned South Africa finds itself at a cross- The Lonmin operation was crippled and patented by Western pharmaceutical roads. A debate about economic direc- by strikes that have seen only 5 per cent firms, are too expensive for poor South tion was had at the ANC conference of workers turn up at work. Violence at Africans dying from the disease. earlier this year, with some serious calls the strikes exploded after police fired on When Thabo Mbeki came to power in for President Jacob Zuma to rid the na- strikers. 34 workers and 10 policemen 1999 he engineered a quasi-neoliberal tion of the “neoliberal straightjacket” have consequently died. 78 were injured. revolution. The ANC was bound to that favours business but is fuelling Most mainstream media commentary austerity policies in order to service a inequality. has highlighted how the violence has massive debt inherited from de Klerk. It would take a brave leader to struc- been the worst since the country’s ter- While business was set up in the country, turally reform the nation, especially with rible apartheid era, or has sought to play South African President Jacob Zuma dances at the little devotion was given to constructing mining giants threatening to withdraw World Economic Forum in Davos, 2010. the blame game. Photo Credit: World Economic Forum housing. investment the moment change is men- However, most commentators have The ANC also signed a deal with the tioned. However, the ANC has let down failed to highlight how the strikes rep- of true freedom is economic self-deter- World Bank to service the national debt, its people in recent years, with slush resent a deeper issue that has plagued mination, and a few key post-apartheid however this required “wage restraint”, funds, corruption charges, and perennial South Africa pre and post-apartheid, one economic decisions by the ANC failed to preventing rises in the minimum wage. bad governance dogging the party. that the African National Congress has achieve this for South Africa. Thus modern South Africa evolved to Zuma has the chance to radically failed to address. The nation still has a The list of “shots in the foot” by the be one of the most unequal societies in change his image from a shady character rampant monkey on its back: its failure ANC is extensive. The constitution that the world. Inevitably, when the gloss of to a true leader of Mandela’s class. It to achieve economic self-determination. was broken contained a protection of political self-determination wears off, will take much resolve and bravery to The anti-apartheid movement was private property, prohibiting redistribu- people want to be able to have economic push for change, but it may be the only triumphant in gaining political and civil tion of land to poor South Africans. The self-determination. These inadequacies opportunity the nation has to avoid a rights. Blacks and whites alike have ANC signed on to the General Agree- have come to the fore with the violence relapse into the violence and division of political self-determination. But also part ment on Tariffs and Trade (GATT), over the past few days. the apartheid era.

10 honisoit @honi_soit Op-Shop U.S. ELECTION Political correctness not black or white Racial profiling thrives in election season, writes John Gooding

In our politically correct, pluralist, non-white vote. While a fairly demure multicultural, quite nice country, there phenomenon in Australia outside of local is almost no situation in which gener- elections, dividing the population into alising by race is publically acceptable. the ethnic voting blocs of black, white, Almost. One bastion of racial profiling and Hispanic has been common practice remains somehow alive and well; politi- among American analysts for quite some cal analysis. If you watched any coverage time. of the 2010 NSW state elections, you Do these distinctions have any new legislation in and of itself. As it hap- Even if this were the case, I would still would most likely have heard of Barry merit? On the surface of it, yes. Barack pened, however, black approval on gay not say: “black people generally prefer X O’Farrell’s appeal to Chinese, Leba- Obama’s approval rating as of this writ- marriage moved toward the President’s to Y” out loud because those preferences nese, and Vietnamese voters and of how ing stands at 52 per cent overall accord- position, though supporters of it are still would have absolutely nothing to do Labor had lost its stranglehold on the ing to Gallup, but in terms of individual in the minority. As soon as this change with being black. The experiment would ethnicities, Obama has a 37 per cent became apparent, a variety of explana- show correlation, not causation. In our approval rating amongst whites, a 58 per tions were accordingly wheeled out. case, while there may be a correlation cent approval rating amongst Hispan- Most of these revolved around Obama between having black skin and being ics, and an 87 per cent approval rating leading the black community to this new against marriage, nothing about having amongst blacks. The divides between movement. black skin directly causes somebody to these numbers are simply enormous, and So there are real differences in voting be against gay marriage. It reinforces the lead to a final figure which does not re- preferences between these demographics. idea that blacks are some sort of homog- ally reflect any particular group. The question now becomes whether or enous community, completely disengaged More to the point, however, analyst not we should continue to identify and from the society as a whole, without any after analyst has pointed out that should report on differences. They may be true, possibility for integrated political pres- Obama lose ‘the black vote’, he has but it still may not be ethical to state ence. absolutely no hope for re-election in No- them. By the bounds of social conven- The obvious answer to my politically vember. This reliance lead to widespread tion you and I are discouraged from correct angst is that we use ethnic terms tittering amongst left-wing commenta- generalising preferences by race, even if as rough placeholders for actual commu- tors after Obama announced his support those preferences are true. It may be the nities, founded on some sort of histori- for gay marriage. case that if I did a scientific poll, I would cally shared experience. My response to The conventional wisdom was that the discover that something we consider this is that if we can we should prob- black vote strongly disapproved of gay to be a racist stereotype may actually ably find less totalising placeholders. marriage, and as such Obama was risk- be true. I could, for example find black Your ethnicity should not automatically ing his re-election prospects by making people generally prefer fried chicken, or denote your community, and referring a statement that, although admirable in watermelon, or whatever foodstuff black to ethnicities and voting blocs does just 87 per cent approval among ‘blacks’: Barack Obama. Photo: rob.rudloff via Flickr. its support, could not really enable any people stereotypically eat, to other foods. that.

INDIGENOUS AUSTRALIA Income management a wrong turn on the road to reconciliation Punitive policies do nothing to foster relationships between Indigenous communities and service providers, writes Lovelle D’Souza

The patchwork quilt of welfare quar- Local school principal Sue, who has antining will expand to remote South lived in Nganmarriyanga for 5 years, has Australia next month as the Gillard been waging very effective campaigns to government targets the remote Anangu increase the attendance rate and improve Pitjantjatjara Yankunytjatjara lands for nutrition during school hours, with mea- the scheme. sures including training local men and Voluntary and forced income manage- women, to run the school cafeteria and ment is already operating in the North- serve three fresh, nutritious meals to the ern Territory, Bankstown in Sydney, kids every day. Logan and Rockhampton in Queensland, According to Sue, the Intervention Greater Shepparton in Victoria, and didn’t have much of an impact on Ngan- some parts of metropolitan Perth and the marriyanga, which was already volun- Kimberley region in Western Australia. tarily dry. But for communities where Its purpose is to partially restrict the the police and army tanks did roll in, spending of welfare payments to necessi- the hostility and swiftness of events did ties such as food, clothing, and utilities. much to instill distrust in government, I recently spent three weeks in the not to mention recall the deeply scarring Photo Credit: Justin Cozart remote Indigenous community of Ngan- events of the past. murriyanga in the NT, running recre- Sue’s key piece of advice to those nity entails, it is a challenge to attract It ignores the situation of those people, ational programs for Indigenous kids as overwhelmed by the scale of the problem talented, caring people who are prepared often vulnerable women, who are either part of the Linkz Odyssey program. of entrenched Indigenous disadvantage to commit for longer than two years. But trying to get paid work and are discour- My time at the coalface has convinced was: “don’t expect things to happen over when such individuals do find their way aged because of humbugging that occurs me that the ‘circuit breaker’ approach to night”. This is certainly a lesson that there, the difference they make seems when they obtain actual qualifications, Indigenous disadvantage – that punitive, government would do well to heed. far more valuable than any platitudes, or trying to hold down a job and manage reductive measures like income manage- At the crux of the positive develop- sweeping reforms or government hand- their income wisely. Such individuals ment are required to force change in ments in the community, particularly in outs. would benefit from voluntary income behaviour – is entirely unhelpful. relation to the younger generation, were Case in point: an income management management accompanied by ongoing Rather, it is the development of per- the relationships and programs nurtured system had been requested by senior financial planning (for when they transi- sonal relationships and a commitment to over time, wherein the people delivering women in the APY lands to prevent the tion out of income management), deliv- the long view which are the key drivers programs made an effort to get to know diversion of welfare and income into al- ered by people they know and trust. of positive development. the participants and follow up on them, cohol purchases or ‘humbugging’ (where But in a world of myopic and short- While ongoing cyclical hardships were as Sue and the teachers in Nganmar- people are forced to share earnings with term policy-making, such nuance is lost, apparent in Nganmurriyanga, it was en- riyanga did with the parents of truants, family members). However the scheme leaving people like Sue and the residents couraging to see the fruits of sustained, much to the improvement of school at- actually being rolled out in SA commu- of Nganmarriyanga to devise their own cooperative efforts to change the situa- tendance records. nities only deals with those on welfare, solutions in spite of the work of the gov- tion, involving both Indigenous families Given the isolation and significant pay giving them a “Basics” card which can ernment, not because of it. and staff – both white and Indigenous. cut that working in a remote commu- only be spent on food, housing, and bills. honisoit.com honisoit 11 Third Drawer

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED: Tweets from the dead NAKED ON STAGE with Lucy Watson Lucy Watson gets her tits out It’s a man’s world. But it wouldn’t Now completely naked, save a Picasso @Picasso 3s be nothing without a woman or a small triangle of modesty fabric, even when I paint them ugly, bitches still love me #winning girl. Right? I turn to face the audience, a lone Nudity on stage, particularly the spotlight on me, and one other na- Seymour stages that play host to the ked fellow. Franz Ferdinand @DoYaWanna 25s University of Sydney revues, is defi- Not a single whoop, cheer or wolf no one kill me, cos if I die, a huge war will start. #noseriously nitely a man’s world. A whole lotta whistle. I feel very bare, and I’m #firstworldwarproblems cock, not a lotta clunge. I’m here to certain everyone can see my heart change that. Challenge accepted. jumping out of my chest – especially Oliver Twist @romeo_m 30s I joined the queer revue this year, if I haven’t covered myself properly. Please Sir, I just want some more #industrialageproblems my only qualification being my And just like that, it’s over. I’m off tendency to prefer women to men. I stage, scrambling to find my dressing can’t sing, act, or dance (in time); yet gown. George Orwell @alexanderthegreat69 1984 here I am. And on a whim, I put my Audience #2 was better. There were Big Brother is Watching You #Dystopia hand up to be in the naked sketch. a few wolf whistles, though I suspect Nudity in revues has a long tradi- most of them were for my fellow tion. Everyone does it. Most of the cast member’s chiseled jaw line (and Channel 10 @Trash 2001 time, it’s guys. Most of the time, other body parts). RT George Orwell: Big Brother is watching you it’s pointless; nudity for the sake of I thought getting naked in front nudity. This was no exception, let’s of 750 people would be a way to be honest. celebrate some body positivity, to Channel 9 @OldPeople 2012 We had our first audience last figure out a way to be comfortable RT Channel 10: Big Brother is watching you, no one else is. Tuesday. on my own skin, but instead, judg- Retweeted by Sarah-Maree I’m on stage immediately prior ing by audience reactions, I should to the naked scene, so spend the just keep my clothes on and dance entire scene in a dressing gown, and ridiculously. Neopets @FuckJubJubIsCute 10m nothing else. I then have to whip off It’s not really a man’s world. It’s WTF is club penguin? the dressing gown on stage, add- a clothed world, and people prefer ing something of a strip tease to the lesbians knitting to copious amount D.H Lawrence @LadyChatterlyWasMyNotMyLover 18m already awkward nakedness. of bare flesh. I was writing porn before #50shadesofGAY ever existed

John Milton @LongJohn 20m I think I’ve lost something...

John Lennon @Imagine 22m Life Goal: EVERYONE see me and @yoko naked.”

Alexander the Great @alexanderthegreat69 30m Some bastard took my handle. I’m Alexander the Great, not HORNI SOIT Alexander the Great 69 By Hannah Ryan Lady MacBeth @FirstLady 33m

t was three days since last Sunday and four days until the next. Paul My hands are red because I killed someone, damnit! It’s not Iwas impatiently fiddling with a sausage. Most foul-minded students, from chalking #Usydvotes including the author of Horni Soit, would immediately think of something Abraham Lincoln @WhosYourFoundingFather 37m crude and unsavoury when they read that phrase, but Paul wouldn’t. He My beard is bossin’ was holier than thou, actually. He was a member of the most financially Retweeted by Albus Dumbledore viable EU in the world, Sydney Uni’s Evangelical Union, and he was giv- ing out sausages to students too lazy to buy their own lunches in a bid to convince them of God’s existence and benevolence. It was erotic, but only Henry Parkes @Henry_Parkes_n_Rec 38m if erotic means something entirely different to what you think it means, I may be penniless but I’m the goddamn father of federation involving more chastity and devotion. and one day all the $5 notes will be mine! #dolladollabills Mary was there. It was no coincidence that she was called Mary and he was called Paul, because these were suitably biblical names for a piece of Salvador Dali @Dali86 40m erotic fiction set in a religious group, and also their parents were avid fans lol I’m so high wooooooooooooooooooooo of the Good Book and had named their children after leading characters. Retweeted by Lighthouse Family Still, it gave him a little buzz imagining her not as the holy mother of the Messiah, but rather as the slightly looser Mary Magdalene. It was erotic, Shakespeare @Shake_my_Spear 50m more along the lines of what erotic usually means. high school students will rue the day I was born! #muahahaha Paul approached Mary and offered her his sausage. She accepted, Retweeted by Jane Austen chastely. “Thank you,” she murmured. Paul’s social skills fled like Jews out of Egypt in Exodus. “Uh, well, uh, yes, it’s my pleasure,” he replied. Alan Ginsberg @fckshtfckcnt 58m He hoped she didn’t think pleasure bore any sexual undertones, his com- fuck cock cunt shit asshole fuck fuck shit cunt #fuckingpoetry mitment to chastity frustratingly steadfast, despite his being the subject of Retweeted by William S Burroughs erotic fiction. “Mine too,” she whispered. She extended her sausage-free hand and grabbed his. They gently held hands for a good twenty seconds. Whitney Houston@GuardMe 1h And then it finished, virginal and innocent, and so did this week’s edition #toosoon of Horni Soit.

12 honisoit @honi_soit Third Drawer

TOP FIVE National Anthems By Rafi Alam You don’t normally hear national anthems outside of school assemblies, sporting events, and race riots. With an anthem like ours, it’s probably a good thing. That being said, there are some super badass national anthems out there that are worth a listen.

La Marseillaise - France The French aren’t particularly known for their military might anymore, but at one point in time they had a decent bunch of mass mur- derers and Reigns of Terror. Fittingly, their anthem calls their citizens to arms, tells them to shed “impure blood” and raise a “bloody banner”, and spits in the face of “hordes of slaves, of traitors and conjured kings”. It’s also a fucking swelling song, so much so the Bol- sheviks used it for a while. Imagine this being screamed at a footy match in English while you’re warming up.

Kassaman - Algeria Trust the Algerians to declare independence from France by one up-ing their brutality. The first line of their anthem is “We swear by the lightning that destroys”, which sounds like the initiation rite of a death metal lion-worshipping tribe. Some lines address France directly by saying “O France, the day of reckoning is at hand”. “From our heroes we shall make an army come to being, and on our dead we build glory” – the dead are their strength. They don’t give a shit about mortality. They are going to fuck shit up. Watch out.

Tiên Quân Ca - Vietnam The national anthem of Vietnam is adopted from North Vietnam pre-unification. It describes “soldiers of Vietnam, marching onwards” in the name of “our flag, dyed with the blood of victory, [that] bears the spirit of the country.” Its badass-ness also stems from its inspiring call to lead the country out of poverty, hand in hand, in unison, “for too long have we swallowed our hatred.” It ends with more bloodshed. Moral of the story: violence is liberating! Hatikvah - Israel The national anthem of Israel isn’t badass in the traditional sense (defined above), but is badass in just how fucking tragic and depressing it is. You can tell straight away: Hatikvah means “The Hope”. On the other hand, “Advance Australia Fair” means “Advance Australia Fair”, which just sounds dopey. One of the lines is “as long as tears from our eyes, flow like benevolent rain.” WAH. It keeps going and going and you keep crying and crying. Guns N’ Roses once played Hatikvah as the lead to Don’t Cry. SORRY I JUST DID.

Star Spangled Banner - Jim Hendrix (USA) Star Spangled Banner is OK. Whitney Houston’s version is excellent, sure. But let’s be real: the version of Jimi Hendrix is better than the ‘normal’ version ever would be. Played at Woodstock around the time when ‘black music’ and ‘Native Americans’ and ‘guitars’ were all lambasted as devil’s music, playing the Star Spangled Banner as a fucking acid rock anthem that devolves into noise is an incredibly ballsy move. Sure, there’s no blood and guts in it, but there’ll be lots of it when your HEAD EXPLODES.

Honourable mentions: The most badass national anthem writer is Rabindranath Tagore, who wrote the anthems for Bangladesh and India. In other words, 1.4 billion people. What have you done then?

Soundtrack to: Your first driving lesson Xiaoran Shi learnt that driving is hard and hours are long.

Clueless – The Teen Idols Hey, you just passed a multiple choice test and this is crazy, but here’s a motor vehicle with the potential to kill everything in and around it. So, drive it maybe? Once you’ve reconciled the logistical insanity of the situation with your noble, automobile-related experiences in Grand Theft Auto IV, you know it’s time to get behind the wheel and run over some prostitutes. While you’re at it, don’t forget to amass an inexplicable number of firearms and violently harass law enforcement at every given opportunity. But, no drink driving. What are you, a savage?

Paralysed – Gang of Four In his magnum opus, Voltaire wrote that “the safest course is to do nothing against one’s conscience”. Wise words from a wise guy (sleeping with your niece was a lot more kosher during the French Enlightenment, I guess). What this cheese-eating surrender monkey basically meant was: when the tiny part of your brain that isn’t already colonised by Breaking Bad quotes or the phone numbers of your various drug dealers is telling you to just sit there because the car won’t explode if you just sit there, then you should probably listen if you want to continue living. Until you realise you’re actually paying someone to just sit in their hatchback for an hour.

Ignition – R. Kelly Robert Sylvester Kelly is hardly a credit to the human species, but if you choose to ignore the man’s history as a sex offender, this track is capable of making even a few casual laps around the parking lot an ironically suave affair. You’ve well and truly settled in. The pedals, the gearbox, the mirrors: they ain’t no thang. It’s like you were born within the metallic shell of this Toyota hybrid. Who was the old you and what were they thinking? I mean, why walk places when you can have them pedestrians on your motherfuckin’ windshield? Not even your year-long composting project can stand between you and the road now. Illustration: Nina Ubaldi

facebook.com/honisoitsydney honisoit 13 Bitcoins The end of fiat currency, or just another nerd fad, ask Rafi Alam and Mason McCann

irst hailed as the crystallisa- maintain a share ratio which meets the potential Bitcoins at 21 million, to guard technology to apply a kind of ‘peer-re- tion of free market ideals and standards of the site in order to stay in- against inflation and ensure a rising cur- view’ process for ensuring the currency’s the death knell for the central volved in its activities. On these websites rency value. New Bitcoins are constantly integrity. A network of computers runs bank, Bitcoins have since sur- you can find hundreds of thousands of entering circulation at an exponentially a program that can recognise whether vived repeated robberies, wild torrents, in different file qualities, differ- decreasing pace in order to keep supply previous Bitcoins- tagged with a specific Ffluctuations in value, being used to buy ent releases, from different countries. But in a rough equilibrium with demand. It code - have already been spent. This drugs and weaponry online, and a series the web goes deeper still: for example, becomes harder to produce bitcoins as network can block a transaction if the of very awkward podcasts, but Bitcoins ‘topsites’ are highly secretive websites time goes on, to ensure their stability. specific code has already been used. This are still around, so let’s take a look at that host illegal content, uploaded by Currency is transferred in the same way, Bitcoins do away with the necessity why. The question asked most often is, online groups and couriers who vie to be way as an electronic bank transfer – of a central bank to regulate the integrity “what the hell are Bitcoins?” For those the first to release new films, games, and numbers change, and suddenly there is of the currency while maintaining trans- people who’ve never thought of using music. From here, content trickles down less or more value in your account. Each actional security and anonymity. hashtags as money, Bitcoins are a virtual to private and public torrent sites, and transaction is encrypted so users remain The initial popularity of Bitcoins currency where value is based not on eventually into the hands of the average completely anonymous except to one can be largely traced to the context in government fiat, but on a community of internet user. another. This anonymity is what makes which they were first created. In 2008, individuals deciding that the currency Nakamoto and many of his peers were has value by agreeing to accept it in dissatisfied with the banks. Global finan- cial crises, super-profits, and corporate exchange for goods and services. Bitcoins “It is [our] sincere hope that by making drugs available in a are “mined” out of a “cloud” algorithm power had created an atmosphere of and then stored in “wallets” for later safe, secure, and predictable way, that we will eliminate the distrust of the financial sector and its use (it takes a lot of quotation marks to violence and danger of obtaining and using drugs through unprecedented power over individuals through the corporatisation of everyday explain Bitcoins). traditional methods.” Developed by Satoshi Nakamoto life. Many saw the dominance of banks (thought to be a pseudonym), Bitcoins as a major global issue, with their inde- are a relatively new online technol- pendent power to regulate the value of ogy that expands upon the potential of But while corporations are concerned Bitcoins so appealing to owners of web- money behind closed doors, as a threat peer-to-peer file sharing to bypass the with the expanding illegal trade of sites dedicated to illegal trade. to democratic principles. legal limitations of credit cards and bank music and film on the internet, police But this system isn’t devoid of fault. In response, the anarchic side of the in- transfers. and governments are more preoccupied Online currencies like Bitcoins have ternet formed a narrative of participato- Many music and film aficionados with the darker side of the Deep Web: always had to contest with a major issue: ry counterculture that drove individuals, would be familiar with ‘torrenting’, a drugs, hacker groups, child pornography ‘double spending’. As online currency like Nakamoto, to pursue a system that method of sharing content without host- distribution rings, and domestic terror- units are just pieces of data stored with would bypass the corruption they saw ing it on a web server. Instead content is ism. While selling drugs on the internet users and/or on the net, they’re suscep- in society. In Nakomoto’s own words: hosted on individual uploader’s comput- arguably provides more security than tible to cloning, an act whereby users “The central bank must be trusted not ers, and shared to downloaders, in a selling them on a street corner, high pro- spend the same currency units multiple to debase the currency, but the history system known as peer-to-peer file shar- file crackdowns on groups hosting illegal times. A central institution to ensure the of fiat currencies is full of breaches of ing. Using this method torrent websites websites have forced agents in the online validity of transactions would remedy that trust. Banks must be trusted to hold are­­ able to – in theory – avoid litiga- black market to find more innovative the problem of ‘double spending’, but our money and transfer it electronically, tion. Sites like The Pirate Bay are public ways to distribute products and transfer would also allow the institution to keep but they lend it out in waves of credit websites, accessible to everyone, freely currency. Paper trails don’t disappear on track of transaction records and store the bubbles with barely a fraction in reserve. distributing copyrighted material. the internet, and there are many ways identity of users, which would compro- We have to trust them with our privacy, More successful torrent sites are host- for the legal system to keep track of an mise the anonymity of users and defeat trust them not to let identity thieves ed in the ‘Deep Web’. In this complex individual’s financial and usage records. the entire purpose of the project. drain our accounts.” online web, there exist exclusive, invite- This is where Bitcoins come in. The Bitcoins are unique in that they over- Bitcoins rode the wave of countercul- only communities where users must Bitcoins system caps the total number of come this obstacle by using peer-to-peer tural movements like Occupy Wall Street and Anonymous, which were all either formed or popularised by the prevailing opinion that global finance was a rigged game. Bitcoins became a countercultural motif as organisations like LulzSec, a group of hackers who use their skills to shut down the websites of groups they consider authoritarian or immoral, began using Bitcoins both to avoid having their activities traced as well as to show their disapproval for fiat currencies. The infamous Silk Road, an online drug bazaar, also uses Bitcoins to keep their users – and the sites managers – safe from international drug enforcement agencies. Silk Road, too, carries with it a moral agenda; when asked about possi- ble deaths resulting from the use of drugs bought on Silk Road, the site’s adminis- trator responded by saying, “it is [our] sincere hope that by making drugs avail- able in a safe, secure, and predictable way, that we will eliminate the violence The Silk Road is an online marketplace which capitalises on the anonymity of bitcoins to sell illicit drugs and danger of obtaining and using drugs 14 honisoit @honi_soit want a picture of the reality of Bitcoins, Dragan Espenschied, member of picture a network of hyper-nerds, holed Bodenständig 2000. ASCII shopping up in IT company boiler rooms and Rus- cart interface. sian bunkers, expending thousands of • Kickass-Kombat.com: Martial arts dollars worth of electricity in a fevered clothing, weapons and equipment from and desperate effort to get to at that one, Kickass-Kombat.com. Free world- last coin. wide shipping, specializing in cloth- For those who still want to use ing, books, DVDs, gifts and weapons Bitcoins without going to the effort of for Karate, Bujinkan Taijutsu, Judo, mining them, there is another, seem- Aikido, Masaki Ryu, Shurikenjutsu, ingly easier way to acquire the currency: Kenjutsu, and general Budo. theft. In March this year, hackers broke Fortunately, the only people who will into the servers of the site Bitcoinica, an know what any of those words mean are online Bitcoin broker and made off with the same people who will spend thou- $87,000 worth of the currency, prompt- sands of dollars on computers to make ing site operators to shut down trading online currency. Therein lies the central in an attempt to lock the gate after virtu- problem with Bitcoins: after Occupy al thieves had already made off with the Wall Street faded into the countercul- horse. This came in the wake of an ear- tural limbo and the central banks were lier theft, at the beginning of 2012 when no longer the enemy, the majority of the Mining Bitcoins uses more RAM than your Macbook can handle thieves made off with over $210,000 Bitcoin community faded away as well. dollars worth of BTC (as the currency is This left behind only the most hardened through traditional methods.” They cited supply and maintain a stable currency called). Over a quarter of a million dol- adherents to internet culture, and only their refusal to allow the listing of child value - provided, of course, that demand lars in online currency has been stolen their particular interests. Bitcoins are pornography, hitman services, counter- either increases or remains static. from this one website alone and there is progressively becoming a more and more feit documents, and credit card fraud as Don’t get the wrong impression from no avenue for recourse by users because specialised service for buying more and an example of their moral agenda. the term ‘mine’: there is no physical of the decentralised, non-fiat nature more specialised products. This is also Online communities tend to form labour involved in the acquisition of of Bitcoin. In fact, some internet users due in part to the fact that very, very few around private and secure illegal trade Bitcoins. Instead, enormous, exorbitantly have pointed out that technically, under reputable goods and services vendors websites and the countercultural nar- expensive, and ludicrously powerful the law, stealing Bitcoins does not even will accept payment in Bitcoins. ratives that support them. Music file processing computers are bought by the qualify as larceny, it’s closer to intellec- ­­­And so we come to the central irony sharing communities often discuss the kinds of people who want to use Bitcoins tual property theft. of Bitcoins: while their adherents call unfairness of major record labels keeping and set to the task of finding usable If an individual navigates the pitfalls them the perfect free-market solution to the majority of profits for themselves, coins. The cost in electricity and compu- of theft, prohibitive costs and police a corrupt and bloated system of fiat cur- while many of their users still refuse to tational resources, as well as the massive intervention into their Bitcoin “grow- rencies, the free market itself roundly re- download music by artists on indepen- amount of heat generated by mining operation”, they then have access to jects them based on their comic instabil- dent labels. Similarly, Silk Road users setups makes them utterly economically a colourful and varied online market- ity and inherent inability to be backed by often see their transactions as a political unfeasible for anyone who isn’t receiving place of vendors who accept the coins any sort of sociopolitical clout. Unfortu- message against drug criminalisation and free electricity in a secure environment. as currency. Unfortunately, many of the nately for the serious users of Bitcoins, the war on drugs. Further, the increased demand for power vendors’ descriptions read like this: you can’t build a new financial empire on Bitcoins’ potential can be highlighted and incredible heat in the server rooms • Education of the Noobz: Lossless social awkwardness and libertarian pipe by the animosity from governmental are the same signs that law enforcement downloads of lo-tech Homecomputer dreams alone. agencies: the FBI penned a document agencies look for in identifying and raid- music and mixed live recordings from called “Bitcoin Virtual Currency: Unique ing marijuana grow-operations. If you Features Present Distinct Challenges for The Deep Web explained in graphic form by a n00b speller. Classic Deep Web Deterring Illicit Activity” that outlined how Bitcoins can be used for money laundering and illicit trade, admitting: “Despite the virtual nature of Bitcoin, users value the currency for many of the same reasons people trust Federal Reserve notes: they believe they can ex- change the currency for goods, services, or a national currency at a later date.” The FBI document, unclassified but leaked through news sites like Wired, also notes that the dangers of Bitcoins extend to users themselves. Much like any other currency, Bitcoins are suscepti- ble to theft – however, unlike fiat curren- cies, there exist no central institutions to provide currency insurance to their users. There is also a threat of compromised anonymity for semi-illicit activities, or an increase in security for users, to the point of seriously inhibiting law enforcement’s ability to police incidents where Bitcoins are used for hitmen and child pornogra- phy. While Bitcoins can be used to drive an agenda of resistance, those with more unethical aims can also exploit them. The economic theory behind Bitcoins is relatively sound, albeit unique in that it artificially attempts to limit inflation by making it exponentially more difficult to ‘mine’ each successive coin. One might ask: “What if we all agreed that rocks were a currency, wouldn’t that make rocks valuable?” But Bitcoins are able to overcome the obvious flaw in such a proposal (too many rocks) by making it progressively harder for the people who ‘mine’ Bitcoins to find the next ‘valid’ coin. Thereby they artificially strangle www.honisoit.com honisoit 15 Culture Vulture reviews: tv Breaking Bad Sertan Saral catches up with the drug kingpin Walter White

to revisit a promise Wal- perilously off a cliff. The season kicks off ter White made to us last with a cold open in medias res, showing year. The promise ended Walter White “celebrate” his 52nd birth- an argument with Skyler day at a small diner in New Hampshire, about the terrible risks the opposite end of America from his he’s facing: home in New Mexico. He’s got an alias, “You clearly don’t a head of hair and a New Hampshire know who you’re talking driver’s license. He’s at the diner to meet to, so let me clue you an old associate, who gives him keys to in: I am not in danger, a car with an M60 machine gun (Wait, Skyler. I am the danger. what?) with ammo in the boot. A guy opens his door and Before we can find out the whys and gets shot, and you think hows, we’re brought back to the present that’s me? No! I am the where Walter disposes of all the evi- one who knocks!” dence linking him to Fring’s gory demise. Walt knocked and It’s the new Walt from this point on: a now, in the fifth and final monster coated in a thick layer of hubris, season (we’re halfway, manipulation and gross creeping-creeper- there’s eight more coming ness (the power dynamic between he and early next year) we bear Skyler reverses: she hasn’t brought down witness to the fallout a drug kingpin, after all... yet?). Any from that blowback. one or a combination of these qualities After being thoroughly emasculated (Inevitable also because this is a TV So far, as is typical of this show, it’s an and more can spell his downfall, but he over the course of season four by boss show with one more season left in its insane trip. doesn’t see it: Walt’s hanging off a the Gus Fring on one end and wife Skyler life.) And that blowback? Exciting and When we left Walt at the end of season edge and season five is the drop. on the other, it was inevitable that there horrific in equal measure. four, he felt on top of the world but what would be blowback from Walter White. Before we get into this season, I want we’ve learned is that he’s really hanging

reviews: comedy Bill Bailey’s Qualmpeddler Connie Ye is just waiting for the live DVD to come out already

It is impossible for Bill Bailey to realising that sausages don’t need to be ments amidst the rants on big ideas that The ‘Bill Bailey Famous Soundtracks’ disappoint. The moment Bailey strides pricked when cooking. get you. The tongue-in-cheek British cover band included hits such as a onto stage like some sort of endearing In the same jaded, querulous tone disdain for the Continent emerges in his reggae-dub take on the Downton Abbey hobbit savant, his roadie cum rockstar more commonly found in tuckshop musings on the efficiency of German theme and an enthusiastic ‘Final Count- aura alone is usually enough to set off ladies was a call to arms about reclaim- porn. When he rails against consumer- down’ rendition on a car horn mon- the endorphins. Watching him work ing the acronym from verbalisings of ism and chain stores, you envisage the strosity, securing his place once more his magic is, in Baileyesque terms, like ‘LOL’. For a while in the first half, he reality of Bailey’s dystopia where coffee as ‘Most Accomplished Instrumentalist’ having a balding porcupine mesmerise a imitates the mannerisms of East London or rather “cups of milky disappoint- in the comedy world. Or just the world crowd. lads. “They never point straight. Always ment” are served by dead-eyed Eastern really. Qualmpeddler was one of his more gotta point to the side, like that, just Europeans whispering “There is no He’s patently in top form (as with the accessible shows to date, the measure of pointin’ to the side. They’re the ones hope”. best of comedians) when going off script which is done by counting the amount always getting the wrong cheese in the Bailey is renowned and appreciated and improvising to inane heckling. The of time he spends talking about: a) deli.” for delving whole-heartedly into the night I went, Bailey welcomed a pro- badgers and other friendly English It’s Bailey’s little humanising com- weird and esoteric underside of music. saic response to his call for Lara Bingle woodland wildlife, and b) the origins of descriptors - “Where the bloody hell obscure musical instruments requiring are ya” - as one of the most existential several extra appendages to play. There heckles he had ever encountered. He was still plenty of that in Qualmped- later brought out a Saz-Bouzouki dler, but interspersed among it was a (Google it) and during a protracted greater concern with the stupidity of audience guessing game, proceeded to human nature. It seems our Billy is get- discuss the idea of being trapped in a ting older and world-wearier, and more hypothetical metaphysical self-reflexive susceptible to the pensioner-type habits time warp. of pointing out the foibles of the young. Audience: “Is it an oud?” The title being an evocation of the Bailey: “No.” comedian as ‘chronic worrywart’, we Audience: “Is it an...oud?” see Bailey move towards more social Bailey: “No!” and political commentary. He dismisses Audience: “Is it an oud!” a British politician as a “piece of cress Bailey: “NO.” in a vindaloo”, and waxes lyrical on his And so forth, as the tumbleweed blew disgust for a certain vapid Big Brother past. celebrity who “thought the sun and the The show ends with a tender moment moon were the same thing”. His exas- when he plays footage of his bizarre owl peration at said celebrity’s following rescue mission in China. We see him cut statement - “Turns out they’re not the the owl loose from tape it was bound same” - saw him rage for at least a good in, and at the moment we can’t help ten minutes about the appropriate use of but love Bill Bailey for all his talent, his the phrase ‘turns out’. Turns out, Bailey multifariousness. semantic logic requires that the phrase only be used in the mundane context of Bill Bailey on a mission to make sense of a guitar fit for an octopus amputee

16 honisoit @honi_soit Profile Hack in the day...

Foreign editor of The Australian Greg Sheridan spoke to Max Chalmers about doing battle with the left-wing on campus back in the day.

hen talking about university life He maintains that the “florid, bizarre, ing the name of a deposed, lefty legend, Throughout the interview I try to Wduring the 1970s it feels anach- baroque” environment of student politics Labor Prime Minister, surrounded by an draw concessions, hoping to get some ronistic to mention conservatism. Con- did not even represent most students. angry mob of striking students. It makes kind of Whitlam-Fraser ‘we’re all friends ventional narratives of Australian history Through this group Sheridan first met contemporary campus politics seem in the end’ moral to the story. Surely present the decade as a brief blossoming Tony Abbott, who fast became his “best almost sensible. the factional lines of university politics of radical progressivism; the full stop at friend”. His praise for the young Abbott As our conversation goes on com- dissolve with time? But the years have the end of the long fifties and the forlorn is overwhelming and he lauds him as munism (though more precisely, anti- not weathered Sheridan’s obstinacy. I precursor to the economically ‘rational’ “generous, spontaneous, full of laugh- communism) becomes a theme. In those point out that the communists and eighties. Yet during this era a generation ter”, and a “big thinker”. Sheridan is days Sheridan saw himself primarily as more centred leftists of the 1970s were of conservative politicians, lobbyists and obviously proud of his association with an anti-communist activist. spearheading the push for women’s, journalists were undergoing their intel- the current Leader of the Opposition. “Most of our opponents were mem- indigenous and queer rights, and running lectual and technical training. Among “It’s a great tribute [to Abbott that] bers of some kind of communist group at fervent campaigns against South African them was Greg Sheridan. he would become fast friends with an that time…we were very cognisant of the Apartheid. While assuring me he has Now the foreign editor of The Austra- irredeemable dork like me,” he says in a fact that these people were fruitcakes” never opposed any of these causes and lian, Sheridan is one of the most influen- jumble of humility and pride. he says. highlighting his own long standing sup- tial journalists in the country and has This is not as schizophrenic as it port for Asian immigration to Australia, met some of the world’s most famous sounds to contemporary ears; commu- Sheridan avoids assigning any praise to and infamous presidents, monarchs “His praise for the young nism was a prominent student ideology the activists he once rallied against. and general secretaries. Years before Abbott is overwhelming and he at the time. In 1977 the editors of Honi Sheridan comes across as assertive and rising to national prominence he Soit consciously identified themselves stern. He speaks with bravado and con- undertook an Arts degree at Sydney lauds him as ‘generous, as communists, editorialising one week fidence but occasionally infuses his rhet- University. spontaneous, full of laughter’ that “as communists, we believe every- oric with self-deprecating humour. He “I greatly enjoyed Sydney Univer- thing is political”. Other editions of exhibits an unnerving talent for slipping and a ‘big thinker’.” sity, had enormous fun…The fizz and the same year included ads for lectures between the brutish language of realpoli- buzz of the university was great,” he by a touring Malaysian Socialist and tik and an elegant, eloquent vocabulary. says with balanced nostalgia. It is clear that, like Abbott, Sheridan a feature article entitled “Let the ruling The stories he tells of Sydney University, It was not in the sandstone halls that revelled in his role as a political outsider. classes tremble”. and those of the other resilient conserva- Sheridan received his most profound les- He was once banned from addressing a While Sheridan emphatically defends tives who were educated in the 1970s, sons however. He speaks disparagingly student protest when it became clear he his opposition to these groups he explic- are a reminder that there is never total about the quality of the university itself wanted to denounce the strike it aimed itly emphasises that he does not describe political hegemony or homogeneity, and says the intellectual environment to promote. Pretending to renege and himself as right-wing. “I didn’t oppose a especially not in a university. Where in the classroom was “very poor” and promising to speak in solidarity with progressive agenda as an undergraduate, there is power - be it progressive or dominated by “mediocre teachers”. He the strikers, he was eventually given the I opposed a leftist agenda of the 1970s. conservative - there is resistance, often never completed his actual degree. stand. In front of an audience of a few The term leftist had much more meaning galvanised by the strength of its other. The battlefield of student politics was thousand he then performed an imita- in the 1970s, especially when used about Back in his days as a student Sheri- where the young journalist found his tion of Gough Whitlam - slow, booming people who were loyal members of the dan wrote for the prestigious magazine niche. Sheridan was part of a small but voice and all - and mocked the strikers Communist Party”. The Bulletin. But there was always one committed band that resisted the domi- by sarcastically declaring that their study Despite advising that “it can quite help paper that showed him no love. nant left-wing politics of the decade, hiatus would “bring Australia to its to be a little intellectually promiscuous “Oddly enough, I couldn’t get pub- the politics we now almost exclusively knees”. As the crowd started to chant as an undergraduate”, cross-ideological lished in Honi Soit because it was run by associate with the time and place. “off, off, off”, his small band of support- dialogue was never Sheridan’s interest. a kind of communist collective at that “We were definitely a small minority ers coalesced their cry, distorting it into “I was more interested in exposing [the time,” he recalls. within that little subculture” he tells me, one of “Gough, Gough, Gough”, cheer- left on campus]…bringing the broad Congratulations Greg, you’ve finally “but that little subculture itself was so ing on his ironic performance. light of day to this dark little subcul- made it now. isolated from mainstream Australia”. Conservative university students chant- ture,” he says. honisoit.com honisoit 17 Taboo

What once began as a transgressive culture born out of a disdain for mainstream artistic channels now thrives in the very world it once rebelled against, writes Mariana Podesta-Diverio

raffiti has leapt off the of aesthetic standards? Surely the culture has subverted conventional paradigms by always meant to be about overturning streets and into art that emerged as a reaction to conformist freely using public space as a medium for acceptable norms, but where will the line galleries across the globe, artistic mediums is impermeable to expression rather than constraining itself be drawn? Perhaps society has a way of carving out a place of pollution by conservative expectations? to the sheltered indoor sphere where siphoning off the best street artists and G orthodox art thrives. slowly transporting them into the world its own in a world once notorious for Art supplies like oil paint, canvases its institutionalised conventions and and easels were traditionally available The political outrage, the of orthodox mediums like gallery space. predominantly unattainable prestige. only to the middle and upper classes. passionate expression and colourful Ironically, what’s happening is that the The importance of graffiti artwork Nowadays, almost every discount experimentation that has garnished ‘best’ artists are the ones that end up once lay in its accessibility, colourful and department store boasts a wide the streets of Newtown for years with exhibitions and an ability to live off transformation of public space and range of different arts and crafts was once an protest with meaning their craft, should they choose to do so. the freedom it offered artists outside British street artist Banksy, who rose exclusive cultural channels. The once- to fame with impeccable anonymity and rustic charm of the murals, stencils and “The notorious [Banksy] that once relied on the a trademark stencilling technique, is wheat pasted posters that simultaneously sides of run-down buildings, billboards, and possibly the most well-known and most won hearts and wreaked havoc amongst referenced case of a graffiti artist ‘selling urban building owners has started to sewers as canvases has recently seen some of his out’. The notorious artist that once relied fade into a glossy, sanitised world of works being auctioned for small fortunes.” on the sides of run-down buildings, “safe” art, designed to please even the billboards, and sewers as canvases has most highly refined of cultural tastes. recently seen some of his works being But graffiti isn’t the only kind of art supplies. Although the quality is often that went deeper than the words and auctioned for small fortunes. The most susceptible to a dilution of quality. incomparable to that of high-end images employed by stencillers and expensive Banksy piece ever sold clocked Bastions of elite culture, like orthodox paints and brushes, these supplies fulfil wheatpasters. These days, thanks to the in at almost AUD $160,000. artwork, have a way of being watered a purpose and cater to a market that dilution of meaningful street art, we The mainstream success of graffiti down to a level attainable to the masses. is wider and more inclusive than ever have to question what it really stands has created a market for spray paint We now have whole markets dedicated before. Aficionados and rookies alike can for. Although the passion of artists that would have never before survived. to the production of famous graphics now take to canvases in a world where is still very much alive, it’s become a Although spray paint is available in that once had tremendous value in art tawdry endeavours in the name of art mere attraction in a sea of overpriced all hardware stores and many discount history. are taken way too seriously to retain op-shops and trendy pubs. A colourful, variety stores, high-end paints are Think about the images you were legitimacy outside of the insular groups sprawling addition to the crumbling now becoming increasingly available flooded with last time you passed a that produce them. Hub. A photo opportunity. for the wider public. AVT paints, the poster shop in Newtown or visited a Considering this, it’s almost a miracle In recent times the only piece of manufacturers of Ironlak, was founded tacky suburban pub. The Mona Lisa, that graffiti has even made it into Sydney graffiti that has been capable in 2002 and controls a respectable slice Andy Warhol’s 32 Campbell’s Soup Cans the 21st century without suffering a of inciting public debate drew of the Australian market for these once- and Roy Lichtenstein’s trademark works gentrified, watered-down demise until from Islamophobia in an extremely unorthodox art supplies. have been mass-produced to the point now. By its very nature, graffiti has controversial attempt to convey meaning. Ironlak, as well as other high-end where they have lost all meaning and traditionally boasted an incredibly Will the survival of meaningful street paint brands like Montana and Molotow warrant a closer inspection, as well as high level of visibility in comparison to art be contingent on the continued are available in a very select number an analysis of the art’s work in context, orthodox, gallery-restricted art. Graffiti pushing of boundaries? Graffiti was of retailers across the country – one of in order to garner an appreciation for which is Newtown’s own 567, which the piece itself rather than the value it is somewhat of an institution in the brings to another kitchen wall or bed- local street art community. 567 sells and-breakfast guest room. an immense range of art-specific It’s worth acknowledging that this paint, but a single can of Montana barrage of kitschy carbon copies Gold can set you back more than of cultural icons interestingly ends ten dollars. Needless to say, if you up having a trend merit of its own intend on purchasing more than a (think of Raben cloth shoes – a design few cans, or even buy paint online, appropriated from traditional South it becomes a very costly endeavour. American footwear, commonly referred Perhaps the world that was once to as ‘Alpargatas’). Unfashionable things so accessible is becoming more have a way of being taken into the stride exclusive and unattainable to the of transgressives and conformists alike. people who would have thrived in its However, is it still true that legitimate mediums and accessibility prior to the and “successful” art will always be commercialisation of street art. dominated by talented individuals who It’s fair to say that all of this was can brandish their work with a flair that inevitable, but has street art now inadvertently meets the most stringent crossed an unforgivable boundary?

18 honisoit @honi_soit Taboo

honisoit.com honisoit 19 Tech & Online Tech Opinion Apple’s absurd ‘patent war’ will stifle future innovation The world’s most valuable company is fundamentally redefining what it means to innovate, but not in a good way, writes Ben Brooks

From Cupertino in California to Seoul that in any case, patented components of in South Korea, a silicon curtain has universal necessity (“standard-essential”) descended across the planet. Behind it, are required to be licensed to competi- Apple and Samsung are waging a World tors at reasonable rates. They argue that War 3G in courtrooms and tribunals it is costly to innovate, and that the ef- across ten nations. Last month, Apple fort should be rewarded. won a decisive victory. But there is more But how costly and how original is the at stake than the immediate future of the swipe of a finger, or the curved corners smartphone-tablet industry: the litigation of a ‘squircle’? And of all their major is fundamentally defining and redefining competitors, Apple is among the most what it means to “innovate”. Trivial: Apple claims Samsung has infringed its “rounded-corners” phone body patent and complacent in developing newer devices On August 24, a United States jury “rounded square” menu icons patent. – a product of its aggressively litigious, found that Samsung had wilfully in- defensive corporate ethos. fringed six of the seven patents presented were utility (software/hardware) patents, others, and the outcome of the case A dependence on patent law is destruc- by Apple, awarding US$1.05 billion in and three were design patents. The three implicitly lowered those standards. Judge tive of a culture of innovation. By the damages. Samsung shares plummeted utility patents claim the tap-to-zoom Richard Posner made a similar complaint time the lawsuit makes it to court, the whilst its executives struggled to contain gesture, the multiple-finger-swipe ges- in June after dismissing a separate Apple technology in question is long outdated. the public relations fallout. Apple shares ture, and the “rubber band” mechanism case against Motorola. He publicly When these cases finally wind their way rose markedly, buoyed by the home field by which an Apple menu will “bounce” questioned the value of any technology- through trial and appeal, the offending victory. back if a user scrolls to the end. The related patents, when digital innovation devices will be long obsolete. And as far The verdict is remarkable for its three design patents lay claim to “round- is so much cheaper than comparable as product improvement is concerned, severity. Last month, a similar case in ed square” menu icons, and the “round- pharmaceutical innovation, for instance, competing in a courtroom is no substi- Seoul concluded differently, that both ed corners” of the iPhone body. This and when individual devices require tute for competing in the lab and in the companies were guilty of mutual pat- is not surprising for a company which thousands of integrated components. market. Besides, Apple surely under- ent infringement, awarding a paltry prides itself on aesthetic style. The success of Apple’s utility patents stands that being first is far more profit- USD$22,000 to Apple and USD$35,000 Apple’s geometric imperialism did not has led to an explosion of gesture-related able than being alone. One could be to Samsung. In July, the High Court of end there. Their seventh, failed argument patent applications in the US. With most both, but securing its monopoly has left England and Wales ruled that Samsung related to patent no. D504,889. The of- filed over the past year, Microsoft has Apple vulnerable to Samsung’s desper- had not at all infringed Apple tablet ficial patent document is worth perusing. made 69 such applications, Google 13 ate (and equally pathetic) counterclaims, designs. How could it? The Galaxy It contains nine diagrams of a blank, and Samsung 17, though Apple is well and has cost both Apple and Samsung Tab is simply “not as cool. The overall rounded rectangle, in various orienta- ahead of the game with a comprehensive significant public credibility. impression produced is different”. And tions. Not even a jury of patent-holders “gesture dictionary” of “tactile events”. Innovation, in short, is built on inno- whilst a trial over wireless technology thought Apple was entitled to exclusive The tech industry is, in short, patenting vation. The Walkman and the iSeries lie continues downunder, Apple’s request use of the oblong. intuition and our fingertips. on the same continuum, however much for a preliminary tablet injunction was But six arguments prevailed. With Defenders of the billion dollar verdict Apple projects an image of sui generis, declined by the High Court of Australia each finding in Apple’s favour, the court see it as a necessary evil, deterring com- inspired genius. The “next big thing” in December. gave legal force and weight to otherwise placency and encouraging innovation. will come from constructive competition, But these cases are also remarkable questionable patent claims. Patent ap- Without such protection, they say, the not by exploiting overburdened patent for their absurdity. Of the six patents plications must satisfy criteria of “non- consumer electronics market will fill with systems and exasperating judges across Samsung infringed in its US trial, three obviousness” and “novelty”, among scarcely differentiable alternatives, and the globe.

Tech Opinion Storing your personal web data helps the government snoop on you The data retention plan goes against public and industry opinion and raises mainly questions about its true motives, writes Andrew Passarello

example, make it an offence to not decryption of communications”. main stated purpose, why has the federal provide passwords for encrypted If Australia Post were asked to government decided to move in favour material on request. intercept and photocopy all letters, of it? One should look across at the Roxon has defended the plans, storing them for two years, there would other major telecommunications issue insisting they are crucial for law be both a furore and snorts of derision at the Attorney-General is responsible enforcement. Citing the murder of the absurdity of the idea. It should be no for: the meetings regarding copyright In 2010, then Attorney-General Cabramatta MP John Newman as different for internet activity, especially and intellectual property infringement. Robert McLelland revealed that plans an example, she argued that phone when it comes with provisions making it Controversially taking place behind for a data retention policy were being records at the time “allowed police to illegal to keep passwords secret. Viewed closed doors, and the federal government considered, requiring all internet service reconstruct the crime scene”. Veracity of alongside the NSW Government’s moves refusing FOI requests for details providers to track the web activities of these claims aside, it is an unconvincing to ‘water down’ the right to remain about the meetings, it would not be a Australians. At the time, McLelland’s argument given the sheer quantity of silent, there appears to be an imminent stretch to assume organisations like the office insisted it was “not about web data this proposal would collect and threat to privacy and civil liberties. Australian Federation Against Copyright browser history”, but solely intending to collate. Even forgetting these concerns, the Theft (AFACT) are in favour of a data “track and verify identities online”. Andrew Lewman is the executive onus for this data collection would be retention scheme. AFACT, who lost a Since then, a parliamentary committee director of the Tor software project, an on internet service providers themselves. protracted court battle against iiNet after has been set up and opened to ‘onion routing’ network that provides Storing two years of activity for every trying to make the service provider liable submissions from the general public. So anonymity online, and said in July customer would not be a trivial exercise, for the copyright infringement of their far, the committee has published 177 that while the proposal sounds like and a submission by the Australian customers, has long intimated a need of these submissions, the vast majority “something sexy that politicians should Mobile Telecommunications Association for the monitoring of illegal activities of which are overwhelmingly opposed get behind”, it fails to stop crime because (AMTA) to the parliamentary committee online. Considering the SOPA and PIPA to any data retention scheme. Current the problem for law enforcement is that on the matter stated that it would cost controversies in the US earlier this year, Attorney-General Nicola Roxon herself “there is already too much data”. between $500 and $700 million dollars AFACT and their Hollywood backers said in July this year that “the case has Roxon herself has been unreliable and for the industry to log this information. may very well have put their collective yet to be made” for the plan. misleading on the issue. On Friday, she Unsurprisingly, all submissions from the weight behind this proposal. So one would be puzzled as to why claimed that there are “no proposals to telco industry to the committee were Of course, the federal government is Roxon came out last week in support enforce people to give up passwords”, strongly opposed to the scheme. yet to make a final decision, but given of the scheme, which would store the yet the parliamentary discussion paper For an outrageously unpopular Roxon’s sudden change in rhetoric internet activity of Australians for specifically raises the topic of whether proposal that has been deemed last week, Australians should be very two years. The scope of the proposal the government should “establish burdensome to implement, a threat to concerned about the threat to their is alarming. The changes would, for an offence for failure to assist in the privacy, and potentially useless for its privacy and civil liberties.

20 honisoit @honi_soit Tech & Online Tech Opinion Apple’s absurd ‘patent war’ will stifle future innovation The world’s most valuable company is fundamentally redefining what it means to innovate, but not in a good way, writes Ben Brooks

From Cupertino in California to Seoul that in any case, patented components of in South Korea, a silicon curtain has universal necessity (“standard-essential”) descended across the planet. Behind it, are required to be licensed to competi- Apple and Samsung are waging a World tors at reasonable rates. They argue that War 3G in courtrooms and tribunals it is costly to innovate, and that the ef- across ten nations. Last month, Apple fort should be rewarded. won a decisive victory. But there is more But how costly and how original is the at stake than the immediate future of the swipe of a finger, or the curved corners smartphone-tablet industry: the litigation of a ‘squircle’? And of all their major is fundamentally defining and redefining competitors, Apple is among the most what it means to “innovate”. Trivial: Apple claims Samsung has infringed its “rounded-corners” phone body patent and complacent in developing newer devices On August 24, a United States jury “rounded square” menu icons patent. – a product of its aggressively litigious, found that Samsung had wilfully in- defensive corporate ethos. fringed six of the seven patents presented were utility (software/hardware) patents, others, and the outcome of the case A dependence on patent law is destruc- by Apple, awarding US$1.05 billion in and three were design patents. The three implicitly lowered those standards. Judge tive of a culture of innovation. By the damages. Samsung shares plummeted utility patents claim the tap-to-zoom Richard Posner made a similar complaint time the lawsuit makes it to court, the whilst its executives struggled to contain gesture, the multiple-finger-swipe ges- in June after dismissing a separate Apple technology in question is long outdated. the public relations fallout. Apple shares ture, and the “rubber band” mechanism case against Motorola. He publicly When these cases finally wind their way rose markedly, buoyed by the home field by which an Apple menu will “bounce” questioned the value of any technology- through trial and appeal, the offending victory. back if a user scrolls to the end. The related patents, when digital innovation devices will be long obsolete. And as far The verdict is remarkable for its three design patents lay claim to “round- is so much cheaper than comparable as product improvement is concerned, severity. Last month, a similar case in ed square” menu icons, and the “round- pharmaceutical innovation, for instance, competing in a courtroom is no substi- Seoul concluded differently, that both ed corners” of the iPhone body. This and when individual devices require tute for competing in the lab and in the companies were guilty of mutual pat- is not surprising for a company which thousands of integrated components. market. Besides, Apple surely under- ent infringement, awarding a paltry prides itself on aesthetic style. The success of Apple’s utility patents stands that being first is far more profit- USD$22,000 to Apple and USD$35,000 Apple’s geometric imperialism did not has led to an explosion of gesture-related able than being alone. One could be to Samsung. In July, the High Court of end there. Their seventh, failed argument patent applications in the US. With most both, but securing its monopoly has left England and Wales ruled that Samsung related to patent no. D504,889. The of- filed over the past year, Microsoft has Apple vulnerable to Samsung’s desper- had not at all infringed Apple tablet ficial patent document is worth perusing. made 69 such applications, Google 13 ate (and equally pathetic) counterclaims, designs. How could it? The Galaxy It contains nine diagrams of a blank, and Samsung 17, though Apple is well and has cost both Apple and Samsung Tab is simply “not as cool. The overall rounded rectangle, in various orienta- ahead of the game with a comprehensive significant public credibility. impression produced is different”. And tions. Not even a jury of patent-holders “gesture dictionary” of “tactile events”. Innovation, in short, is built on inno- whilst a trial over wireless technology thought Apple was entitled to exclusive The tech industry is, in short, patenting vation. The Walkman and the iSeries lie continues downunder, Apple’s request use of the oblong. intuition and our fingertips. on the same continuum, however much for a preliminary tablet injunction was But six arguments prevailed. With Defenders of the billion dollar verdict Apple projects an image of sui generis, declined by the High Court of Australia each finding in Apple’s favour, the court see it as a necessary evil, deterring com- inspired genius. The “next big thing” in December. gave legal force and weight to otherwise placency and encouraging innovation. will come from constructive competition, But these cases are also remarkable questionable patent claims. Patent ap- Without such protection, they say, the not by exploiting overburdened patent for their absurdity. Of the six patents plications must satisfy criteria of “non- consumer electronics market will fill with systems and exasperating judges across Samsung infringed in its US trial, three obviousness” and “novelty”, among scarcely differentiable alternatives, and the globe.

Tech Opinion Storing your personal web data helps the government snoop on you The data retention plan goes against public and industry opinion and raises mainly questions about its true motives, writes Andrew Passarello

example, make it an offence to not decryption of communications”. main stated purpose, why has the federal provide passwords for encrypted If Australia Post were asked to government decided to move in favour material on request. intercept and photocopy all letters, of it? One should look across at the Roxon has defended the plans, storing them for two years, there would other major telecommunications issue insisting they are crucial for law be both a furore and snorts of derision at the Attorney-General is responsible enforcement. Citing the murder of the absurdity of the idea. It should be no for: the meetings regarding copyright In 2010, then Attorney-General Cabramatta MP John Newman as different for internet activity, especially and intellectual property infringement. Robert McLelland revealed that plans an example, she argued that phone when it comes with provisions making it Controversially taking place behind for a data retention policy were being records at the time “allowed police to illegal to keep passwords secret. Viewed closed doors, and the federal government considered, requiring all internet service reconstruct the crime scene”. Veracity of alongside the NSW Government’s moves refusing FOI requests for details providers to track the web activities of these claims aside, it is an unconvincing to ‘water down’ the right to remain about the meetings, it would not be a Australians. At the time, McLelland’s argument given the sheer quantity of silent, there appears to be an imminent stretch to assume organisations like the office insisted it was “not about web data this proposal would collect and threat to privacy and civil liberties. Australian Federation Against Copyright browser history”, but solely intending to collate. Even forgetting these concerns, the Theft (AFACT) are in favour of a data “track and verify identities online”. Andrew Lewman is the executive onus for this data collection would be retention scheme. AFACT, who lost a Since then, a parliamentary committee director of the Tor software project, an on internet service providers themselves. protracted court battle against iiNet after has been set up and opened to ‘onion routing’ network that provides Storing two years of activity for every trying to make the service provider liable submissions from the general public. So anonymity online, and said in July customer would not be a trivial exercise, for the copyright infringement of their far, the committee has published 177 that while the proposal sounds like and a submission by the Australian customers, has long intimated a need of these submissions, the vast majority “something sexy that politicians should Mobile Telecommunications Association for the monitoring of illegal activities of which are overwhelmingly opposed get behind”, it fails to stop crime because (AMTA) to the parliamentary committee online. Considering the SOPA and PIPA to any data retention scheme. Current the problem for law enforcement is that on the matter stated that it would cost controversies in the US earlier this year, Attorney-General Nicola Roxon herself “there is already too much data”. between $500 and $700 million dollars AFACT and their Hollywood backers said in July this year that “the case has Roxon herself has been unreliable and for the industry to log this information. may very well have put their collective yet to be made” for the plan. misleading on the issue. On Friday, she Unsurprisingly, all submissions from the weight behind this proposal. So one would be puzzled as to why claimed that there are “no proposals to telco industry to the committee were Of course, the federal government is Roxon came out last week in support enforce people to give up passwords”, strongly opposed to the scheme. yet to make a final decision, but given of the scheme, which would store the yet the parliamentary discussion paper For an outrageously unpopular Roxon’s sudden change in rhetoric internet activity of Australians for specifically raises the topic of whether proposal that has been deemed last week, Australians should be very two years. The scope of the proposal the government should “establish burdensome to implement, a threat to concerned about the threat to their is alarming. The changes would, for an offence for failure to assist in the privacy, and potentially useless for its privacy and civil liberties.

20 honisoit @honi_soit Action-Reaction weird sports science opinion Is there a worse sport? A curious solution Lane Sainty will never ferret a leg or leg a ferret Tara Waniganayaka gives her take on the robust rover trawling the red planet In a desperate attempt for legitimacy, and the ferret must be able to move weird sports are often portrayed as freely from one trouser leg to another. The landing of endearing, niche, or just plain underap- The only other rules are that contestants NASA’s Mars rover preciated. A lot of the time, this is actu- cannot be drunk and ferrets cannot be Curiosity marks the ally the case, and as a fan of all things sedated. The fact that all involved must first time a human bizarre, I tend to give credit where it’s be in a sober state of mind, and yet, the voice has travelled due. However, it is virtually impossible ferret legging continues, is perhaps the to another planet to describe the ridiculous habit of ferret most frightening aspect of all. and back. legging as anything other than a com- Somehow, ferret legging is simulta- In a rare dis- plete waste of time. neously tedious, dumb, and ethically play of “Houston, The game allegedly stems from tougher questionable, a combination of elements we don’t have a times in England, when only the rela- which have never produced a decent problem”, Curi- tively wealthy were able to hunt animals game. It’s not only unpleasant for the osity has already and poachers were forced to stuff ferrets contestant, but also for the ferret, and collected high down their pants to elude capture. Then, heck, probably those watching too. definition images of because people are idiots, this became a While some might lament the impending the planet’s surface, thing. death of this so-called sport, the rest of stored samples of Source: Science.com The aim of ferret legging is to keep a us can thank our lucky stars that it ap- dust and rock, drilled below the surface, ferret down your pants for as long as pears to be fading into obscurity. monitored radiation, and set up a remote penned: “Curiosity is the passion that possible. That’s pretty much it. Contes- weather station. It’s a slow and treacher- drives us through our everyday lives”. tants don baggy trousers that are tied ous process, and scientists are moving Oh how inspiring. However, I beg tightly at the ankles, drop a ferret inside Curiosity from its current location in the to differ. Sorry, Clara, but Curiosity is and then tighten up the waist. Then, it’s Gale Crater to another area called Gle- perhaps the last thing I would name this the ultimate waiting game, as contestants nelg where they hope to further analyse rover. attempt to put up with the obvious dis- types of rock very different to those on Sure, beaming X-rays at particles of comfort associated with such an activity. Earth. red sand too small to be seen by the The world record is five hours and thirty There is no doubt that this is mind- human eye is awe-inspiring. But I’m not minutes, held jointly by Frank Bartlett blowingly amazing. The very idea that going to lie – I’m only interested because and Christine Farnsworth. humans are able to observe activity on a I want to know whether that red sand Participants in ferret legging are usu- planet some 225 million kilometres away could support a four-bedroom house ally male, presumably because their geni- is almost inconceivable. In this light, with a swimming pool. talia incite a more frenzied reaction from the rover was named by a 12 year old Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I christen the ferrets. No underpants may be worn, Not pictured: ferret legging girl, Clara Ma. In an essay contest she this rover ‘Plan B’. #occupymars

SPORTs profile Waratahs’ back looks to the future Richard Withers talks with Sydney University’s Bernard Foley about his rugby sevens career and breakout season with the Waratahs

“In the past, the sevens has is probably the pinnacle, but in the 15’s “To be called up was a big surprise primarily been a development game there is still a lot to achieve, you and it was great to be in and amongst route for a lot of up-and-coming want to be a Wallaby, to win the World the team and to see the intensity lift and players. You hope that the sevens Cup and the Bledisloe Cup would be the the experience of everyone come together does put you in good stead, but ultimate.” to play in those series and to play so well you’ll never assume it’s going to At a time in which Foley is quickly and cleansweep the Welsh. Just getting a lead to anything. To make my de- rising through the ranks, four years feels taste of that has driven me and given me but off the back of the sevens was a long way off. a lot of hunger now to want to be at that a massive surprise and something “I’m lucky I don’t have to make that level.” I never thought was going to hap- decision yet…in the future it might be A positional change is also on the pen,” he says. made for me if my body isn’t holding up cards for Foley, who started at five-eight Before stamping his presence for it, or if I’m not suited to it. It’s still a in the penultimate game this year against on the game with the Waratahs, while off, but it may be something that the Brumbies in Sydney. One of the few causes for optimism Foley won a silver medal at the 2010 people will have to consider…whether “I really enjoy playing at fullback, emanating from a grim, injury-ravaged Commonwealth Games in Delhi. they choose one or the other,” he says. but to play at five-eighth is the position season of Super 15 Rugby for the NSW “It was an amazing experience, to be In the time being, Foley is focused on that I probably see myself at more than Waratahs was the performance of pacey a part of the wider Australian team in his recovery from a post-season shoul- fullback…if it’s in line with the team’s utility back Bernard Foley. a tournament like the Commonwealth der operation and preparing himself for thinking, I’d love to be at five-eighth After being rushed into the Wara- Games was something really special. To what the Waratahs will hope is a more moving forward. If you can stay at five- tahs squad for last year’s preliminary go to a place like India… was a great ex- memorable 2013 season. In his recu- eight for a few games, once you string final against the Blues in Auckland, the perience for me personally, and to be in peration, Foley is studying a Bachelor of them together you can get comfortable talented playmaker impressed the NSW the athlete’s village and to mingle with so Economics full-time at Sydney University and feel like you’re the man for the job” coaching staff over the summer before many different types of athletes from all and watching his USyd teammates from With Waratahs fans enduring seven cementing a spot in the backline in 2012. different sports and disciplines was eye- the stands. Although clearly desperate consecutive losses to end the season, I This was no small achievement consider- opening. It’s great to see how different to get back out on the paddock, Foley ask Bernard if there is a silver lining to a ing Foley was playing in a backline con- people prepare. To be fortunate enough recognises the values of juggling rugby tough 2012. sisting of Australian stars Adam Ashley- to win a silver medal was a dream come with study commitments. “Once you do have a rough season and Cooper, Berrick Barnes, Rob Horne, true.” “I find studying so beneficial because you’ve experienced the lows, it makes Drew Mitchell and Lachie Turner. Proponents of the shortened rugby it gives you a release and something to everyone a lot more determined and hun- Foley’s success during a difficult year format will be excited by news that the focus on outside of rugby, the study is a grier to do things differently. Everyone for the Waratahs culminated in the sport will feature at the 2016 Olympic good balance and something I enjoy do- will come back with a point to prove, 23-year-old’s selection in the 39-man Games in Rio. ing while still playing rugby,” he says and they’ll come back fitter and wiser Wallabies squad for the June tests against “Watching this last Olympics and go- It’s a taste of what it takes to play for and looking to do a lot better.” Scotland and Wales. It capped a meteoric ing to the Commonwealth Games, you the Wallabies in the June training camp All eyes will be on an under-pressure rise for the former captain of Australia’s get itchy feet about hopefully making that has inspired Foley to go one step Waratahs outfit as they look to defy last rugby sevens team, who while relishing it to Rio for the Olympics Games. Any further next year as he approaches the season’s critics with a strong start to the the opportunity to represent NSW, hasn’t athlete will tell you that going to the 2013 Waratahs season with renewed 2013 season. lost sight of his sevens background. Olympic Games and being an Olympian vigour. honisoit.com honisoit 21 SRC Help The Low Income Health Care Card Ask Abe Dear Abe, If you are an Australian resident who Even without a health care card the earns less than $483 per week you may University Health Service will bulk bill be eligible for a Low Income Health Care automatically. This includes pathology I’ve got a million things going on in Card from Centrelink. If you present tests. my life at the moment and unfortunately your Low Income Health Care Card to uni is not my number one priority. I can’t the doctor you want to see, you should imagine that I will be attending many classes Abe is the SRC’s be able to get bulk billing. Mental Health Care from now until the end of the year. I know welfare dog. You can have access to a psychologist I’ve missed the HECs census date, but is there If you would like to ask Abe a way that I can avoid failing. a question send an email to A Low Income Health Care Card also through a mental health plan. This will [email protected]. Abe Past Census gathers his answers from gives you access to many things such as give you 6 visits to a clinical psychologist experts in a number of areas. cheap pharmaceuticals (about $6), free through Medicare. If, at the end of those ambulance in NSW (as opposed to $350- 6 visits you still need treatment, you Dear Past Census, $750), free dental, free optical (lenses can get another 6 visits. Some clinics and frames) and some other discounts. will charge more than the Medicare You are still in time to apply for a Discontinue Not to count as Fail rate. Make sure you check before grade (DNF). Look on your faculty website for details on how to do you start your sessions. International this. This means you will have no academic penalty, but will still be Just ring Centrelink on 132 490 or get students should note that you are able liable for fees. However, if you can show that you reasonably believed the application form from the website or to get a rebate on the cost of seeing a that you could complete the subject at the beginning of the year, your Centrelink office. If you are not on clinical psychologist through your health then things disintegrated beyond your control, you may be able to a Centrelink payment you will need to insurance. If you need help finding apply for a refund. Ask SRC Help for details based on your personal renew this card every 3 months. someone that doesn’t charge more than circumstances to see if you should apply. your rebate contact SRC Help. Abe

TheBy Moo Baulch Mythical Rainbow Family Rarely does a week go by without some level of debate abuse or just the usual conflict that occurs periodically culture of diversity that fosters open, honest dialogues raging in the Australian media on queer themes as in most relationships. on these sticky subjects. We have a responsibility as diverse as whether girls should be allowed to marry friends, ethical bystanders and as part of the alphabet- girls, homophobes should be given airtime and if Penny soup family to speak up and ask if someone is ok or let DV can be packaged in a number of different ways – it Wong’s Kitchen Cabinet appearance helped or hindered them know we are there. It’s not an easy thing to do can be financial, emotional, psychological, physical, the cause. but it could help someone who really needs it. social, sexual or cultural. It may involve overt threats of violence or feature a subtle controlling of how Regardless of where you sit on the gay marriage/civil someone might make decisions about their daily life. There are a number of LGBTIQ-friendly places to partnership spectrum and whether you think “It Gets An absence of physical violence doesn’t mean that get help if you’re in an abusive relationship. If have Better” speaks to lesbians in Lakemba or not, it looks a relationship is not abusive. Ultimately DV is the experienced DV or want to support a friend, visit as if we’re closer than ever to achieving complete equal exercise of power by one partner over another with the http://www.anothercloset.com.au/ same-sex rights in Australia . So, as the queer ‘lifestyle’ intent to control. becomes more mainstream, and Mardi Gras drops the • In an emergency always call NSW Police 000 “gay and lesbian”, it’s time to start having some honest But there are some fundamental differences in the conversations about the way that we treat each other dynamics of queer DV. Abusers may manipulate their within the mythical rainbow family. • The Safe Relationships Project provides statewide victim into believing that this is the way all queer LGBTIQ domestic violence legal support. Ph: 02 9332 relationships are, that the rules are different, that no- 1966/1800 244 481 http://www.iclc.org.au/srp/ It’s not easy to begin talking about the not-so-fabulous one else will want them or support services will not things that occur in our communities and relationships believe them if they ask for help. Abusers may threaten - domestic violence (DV) for example. How do we to ‘out’ their partner or disclose their HIV status. • ACON’s Anti-Violence Project supports LGBTI contextualise it in a queer framework? Let’s begin They may also threaten to withhold medications or people who have experienced DV. Ph: 9206 2116 or with an important statement. Most queer relationships control finances to limit a partner’s movements. They 1800 063 060 http://www.acon.org.au/anti-violence/ are loving and respectful. Some are about power and may use regular put downs in public or private which control. Just as some men abuse women, so some of target a person’s expression of gender, appearance or • The Transgender Anti-Violence Project supports us also abuse one another. Research suggests that DV sexuality. They may isolate their partner from their gender diverse people in NSW who have experienced in same-sex relationships occurs at rates comparable friends or family or they could threaten to harm pets. violence. Ph: 9569 2366 or 1800 069 115 http://tavp. to the wider population . The effects on the victim are They may also threaten self harm or suicide or blame org.au/ similar – isolation, fear, intimidation and the cycles of their partner for their own anger, health, condition or explosion, remorse, pursuit and honeymoon before the behaviour. violence recommences. • DV Line is free, confidential and staffed 24/7. Ph: 1800 65 64 63 Discussing the existence of bullying, sexual racism,

misogyny, DV and the prejudice in our own There are precious few prominent models of healthy Moo Baulch is the LGBTI Domestic and Family Violence Project LGBTIQ relationships. Those new to the queer world communities is challenging, especially when we live in a Officer at ACON’s Anti-Violence Project. may therefore find it difficult to picture what a healthy society or culture that sometimes may seem to only just She loves acronyms and isn’t afraid to make up new ones. relationship looks or feels like. Sometimes it can be accept us. But it’s the measure of a maturing LGBTIQ hard to decide whether what’s being experienced is community if we are able to create space and nurture a

The Students’ Representative Council (SRC) Legal Service has a solicitor on Darlington campus to provide free legal advice, representation in court and a referral service to undergraduate students at Sydney University.

Appointments Location Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney Phone the SRC Office to make an Level 1, Wentworth Building Level 1 Wentworth Building, Uni of Sydney appointment 9660 5222 (under the footbridge on City 02 9660 5222 | www.src.usyd.edu.au NEED a Justice of the Peace? ACN 146 653 143 Here is a list of JP’s on campus: Drop-in sessions Road), Darlington Campus http://www.usyd.edu.au/staff/directories/jps.shtml Tuesdays & Thursdays 1pm-3pm The SRC’s operational costs, space and administrative (no need for an appointment) www.src.usyd.edu.au support are financed by the University of Sydney.

facebook.com/honisoitsydney honisoit 23 SRC Reports

President’s Report: SSAF Negotiations [email protected] Phoebe Drake details the SSAF negotiation process SSAF and you - where will university has provided no reassurance sit back and accept this, particularly to student organisations that students given that the intention of the SSAF your money go in 2013? will decide how to spend the money, or is to expand and improve the student Better food, welfare services, legal if it will at all go to students and student experience. representation and childcare - some of organisations. Consequently, until these Consequently, until the university the many non-academic items students concerns are addressed, or the ‘Capital is in a position where it deems itself listed as important in the recent SSAF Sinking Fund’ abolished, the SRC will capable of explaining in greater detail survey. With almost 3000 responses, one not endorse or support its establishment. the ‘Capital Sinking Fund’, the SRC and thing is clear - students want not only Unsurprisingly, student organisations What is most interesting about this students in general, should continue to value for money, but also a situation refused to cooperate, instead insisting scenario is that the University expects oppose its existence. where students’ money goes to students. that 2012 should be a transitional year, student organisations to reach an Student organisations have, for a This is not surprising. In a university where each group negotiated funding at agreement over funding, in a similar long time, played an important role as large as Sydney, investment in support a round table in order to ensure stability fashion to our successful process last in building community at Sydney services can have a resounding impact for the services that each organisation year. University. This is something that should on the student experience. Additionally, provided. Yet, with $2 million taken out of the continue, particularly at a time when with Sydney University consistently It seems, however, this year, the pool, and each organisation wanting more and more students are enrolling in receiving the number one ranking university is far more wedded to to expand services, it is clear that this the higher education sector. in Australia by NUS for its student sustaining the ‘Capital Sinking Fund’, will be impossible. Particularly because Investment in the student experience experience, it seems the combined efforts despite not being able to tell student it will mean a funding cut to student through well-funded student by student organisations and student organisations where this funding will go. organisations. organisations will see the retention support services are doing something So what is the ‘Capital Sinking Fund’? The intention of the SSAF legislation of students and a positive morale on right. Essentially, it is a $2 million pool of is pure. Complications arise in the campus. But should we expect this to continue? money, taken from SSAF revenue, to be administration of the SSAF, because it This is something your SRC will fight Several weeks ago I would have said administered by Campus Infrastructure goes straight to the university. Therefore, for, because students’ money should go yes, but now it seems funding to student Services (CIS). It is unclear at this stage it is the responsibility of the University to students. organisations is threatened by the whether the money will go to student to ensure an ethical distribution process university’s plan to create a ‘Capital organisations, or if student organisations of the revenue, and it is the responsibility Sinking Fund’. will have any say in the direction of of student organisations to advocate As many of you may have read in my funding. Skeptical yet? on behalf of students, and hold the column earlier this year, in the first round My problem with the ‘Capital Sinking university accountable. of negotiations the university created a Fund’ is not so much the paternalistic I do not see, in a time where students ‘Sydney Life Fund’ pool of money, which desire of the university to seemingly see themselves as paying more that it consisted of approximately $1 million ensure our infrastructure is up to should be right, or ethical, for a situation of the SSAF revenue. The expectation date (a decision we could surely have to arise where student organisations take was that student organisations would made on our own). My problem with a funding cut. I would also not be doing compete with each other for funding. the ‘Capital Sinking Fund’ is that the the right thing by the SRC to simply

For more information about the SRC, visit: www.src.usyd.edu.au 24 honisoit @honi_soit SRC Reports

General Secretary’s Report: Slicing the SSAF Pie [email protected] The ‘Capital Sinking Fund’ is causing consternation, writes Tim Matthews Well, it happened again. “justify their value proposition most hopes for service expansion, and SRC dungeon can attest to our own collectively” via a consensus arrived at a division of the $10.5m of need. But the problem with the Fund in I was hoping that I would be able to allocation submission. student money on offer in a way that its current iteration is twofold. Firstly, get to the end of my term as General 2. The university will create a was satisfactory, if not ideal. Now, the there is no guarantee that projects Secretary without having to either: (a) ‘Capital Sinking Fund’ of $2m to university plans to remove $2m from by your student organisations will be write another Honi Soit report bitching fund nonspecific capital works. that pot, and make us go back to the prioritised or even recognised under the about the manner in which the university 3. The agreements will be multi-year. drawing board. So, in the University allocation of the fund. Secondly, there intends to (or actually does) distribute administration equivalent of the Joker is absolutely no student input on the your Student Services and Amenities Fee; snapping a pool cue on his knee for manner in which the fund is set to be or (b) having to redraft the SRC’s budget “tryouts” in The Dark Knight, student distributed, being decided instead by (for the third time, now). Alas, the good organisations have to negotiate amongst the faceless men (and women) of the Reverend Doctor Spence had other ideas themselves for a slice of a pie that is university administration. – and here we are. shrinking before their eyes. So we’re in a rut. We recognise that On August 23 you would have So what is the benefit of a ‘Capital you are all paying more money now for received an email from everyone’s Sinking Fund’? Well, it’s a bit unclear. university in the reasonable expectation favourite full-time Deputy Vice- It goes without saying that all student that it will yield improvements in your Chancellor (Education), and part-time organisations have capital works student services and amenities. Trust evil henchman, Derrick Armstrong, that they would like to commission us, we WANT to expand your student outlining the University’s plans for the (particularly Sydney University Sport services. But with the pool of funds 2013 SSAF allocation. He outlines three It’s the second point that is currently and Fitness and the University of Sydney shrinking, it’s back to the negotiation aspects to the allocation: causing student organisations Union). Anybody who has forgotten table, and we can only hope we arrive at 1. Student organisations will have consternation. In 2012, we abandoned what sunlight looks like down in the an outcome that you are happy with. to contest the entire funding and

Education Officers’ Report: A Fighting SRC [email protected] David Pink wants the SRC to continue providing student support services

A fighting SRC needs a does so because of ordinary students More than most associations, we need nowhere near the backing on Senate. like you. It’s through grassroots a good deal, because we have very little Through rallies, petitions, referendums fighting fund campaigns, not through ‘lobbying’, that capacity to raise funding ourselves – we and elections our strength comes from From its underground dungeon below we’ve fought against the discriminatory offer non-for-profit services. This year, the student body – you. the Wentworth building, the SRC has LifeChoice anti-abortion society, shut with more and more student coming to Spread the word, let people know how had some extraordinary successes this down university plans to merge subjects our caseworkers, we must move forward much your SRC matters to you. Contact year. in the Science faculty and - with the simply to stay where we are. fellows of senate, Deans of your faculty, You will hopefully remember the staff National Union of Students - halted The university has made clear it and the Vice-Chancellor to tell them that cuts campaign. The SRC, seemingly plans by the Federal government to intends to strip $2 million of Amenities you want a good deal for the SRC. Keep a dwarf in the world of university, defund the Higher Education sector. fee funding from the direct control an eye out, either later this semester or managed to The SRC has existed for nearly a of student organisations, and instead early next year we may well be running almost entirely century, and has won massive victories re-direct students’ money to capital a campaign to make sure the SRC gets stop the staff more years than not. But it needs a works. The fetish current university an outcome that reflects its value to cuts, forcing budget, a fighting fund, and this is where administrators have for buildings will students. the university you come in. means less student services and the Whoever you vote for in the SRC to reconsider The SRC is the fighting voice of all crippling of education campaigns only elections, make sure you cast a ballot. the allocation undergraduate students on campus but a year after every single one of you has It is important that as many votes as of millions of what we do costs money. Right now been forced to pay an extra $250 in fees. possible are recorded, because this dollars. The the university is considering the SRC’s We may well need your support. shows the vibrancy of the SRC as an SRC punches funding for next year. Six different Compared to the other associations association, and strengthens our case for above its associations, some run by students, applying for funding, the SRC is a funding. weight, and others not, will apply for funding. comparatively small fish, and has

International Officer’s Report: Get involved! [email protected] Ronny Chen believes international students need to fight for their rights

International Students’ Collective spend money. And that’s MILLIONS OF DOLLARS! If you have anything fights for Equal rights. that you don’t understand about the This week we have two messages to elections, please refer to the report of international students: our sexy secretary Tim Matthews about (1) Come to our collective meetings, and two weeks ago in Honi Soit. Otherwise (2) Vote in the elections. hire a full-time model for your maths comes to our meetings. Just remember to just send us an email and we’ll answer tutorial, you should let us know! If you bring your student ID card and we’ll get your questions! want free IELTS classes, you should let that sorted. FIRST MESSAGE: COLLECTIVE us know! So, remember every Monday 1pm New PLEASE VOTE! MEETINGS And how do you let us know? Come to Law 030! The university is legally obligated to our collective meetings. They are every consult international students and their Monday 1pm at New Law 030. There SECOND MESSAGE: ELECTIONS representatives regarding how they spend will be free food! And if you want us I have a feeling that most international the SSA fees. That’s MILLIONS OF to get pizza, or Subway for lunch, you students don’t give a fuck about DOLLARS! If you want the university should email us or call the SRC and let elections. But this year it REALLY IS to spend $2 million on KFC, you should us know that! We have important issues DIFFERENT! You get to choose who let us know. If you want the university to discuss - issues that affect all of us. to represent YOU at the university to build a new library, you should let As an incentive we are offering chances level. And whomever you choose can us know. If you want the university to to win FREE bus tickets to whoever actually CHANGE how the university

facebook.com/honisoitsydney honisoit 25 The Sandstone Report

home to? Loved ones to take care of? A Victoria Park screaming: “Help! Crazy wife?” man! Help!” I was torn. How best to up- Pah, a wife! I’m married to this job hold my duty to protect these students? and she’s about all the woman I can They were running from an, as yet, handle. So I’ve been sleeping rough for unidentified threat lurking in the bushes the last seven nights, doing my rounds of – possibly crazy, definitely dangerous. the notorious hangouts in between short Should I stand my ground and confront naps in the graffiti tunnel. It hasn’t been the menace? It was good in theory, but s the chalk settles on Eastern Av- easy. I’ve had some long, cold, lonely if I couldn’t see him how could I be sure Aenue I can look back on my first nights, my only relief coming in the that he hadn’t managed to slip away un- week policing the student elections as a form of Roger, the hobo who rummages noticed and was pursuing the students as lost in translation, but once I’d calmed success. They called me crazy. They said through the bins at Manning after hours, we speak? There was no way to be sure them down enough to stop them from there was no point I stay on campus each who snuggles up next to me in my sleep. of their safety unless I was right there handing me their wallets in tears – pre- and every night, prowling the pavement, It’s worth it though, just to be able to with me. It was decided then. I ran after sumably to check the validity of their to ensure that no electoral guidelines rest easy knowing that no student politi- them into the night yelling: “Stop! Crazy student cards – I managed to get some were violated. They said, “Samir, mate, cans are gaining an unfair advantage and man! Stop!” answers. They kept blubbering about an you’re only contracted on to do the day that the reason the graffiti tunnel smells unshowered, unshaven, half-deranged shift, if you’d like to transfer to the night like cat food and urine sometimes is man dressed in blue pants and a dirty shift I can email HR I guess, but you because Roger eats there. Seen anything hi-vis jacket. When I pressed them for can’t just try and take these guys’ jobs”. For the most part my week was un- suspicious? Seen more details they just kept pointing at “I don’t need pay, that’s not why I eventful – all quiet on the Camperdown anything at all? me. This could only mean one thing: the joined the force”, I said. “I joined the front. It wasn’t until the third night that Contact Samir at deviant was behind me! I turned and force to make a difference, to help I realized something was amiss. I’d just www.honisoit.com stared into the dense foliage by the tennis people, to be the change I wanted to see startled some innocent international courts. I could see nothing. Turning back in the world. Being a campus security of- students by jumping out of the bushes to the international students I found that ficer is not just a job, it’s a calling…” behind Fisher to ask them if they’d seen they had fled in fear, running through “Don’t you have a family to go to anything suspicious. Some details got

Another Day, Another Drink with Dr Rupert Thorogood Getting increasingly nervous about the think Steven lost all respect for me when future. I know Spence is after me, and if I dropped my new Nokia 3310 in my I don’t get a paper published by year’s chicken and sweet corn soup. end, I’ll be banished faster than Lear’s So, alas, there will be no Kent to my Cordelia. Lear. This particular mountain I must Spoke with an old colleague from that scale alone. And that loneliness has lost year I spent at UNSW. Apparently stirred some dark thoughts indeed. I he is editing some niche cultural studies have noted, for instance, that the univer- journal, with more zeros in his salary sity’s extensive plagiarism policy no- than readers. I took him out for dinner where prohibits lecturers from copying last week in a terrifyingly vain attempt students’ work. A few judicious dips into to have him co-write an article with me. the thesaurus and some citations of dead The first hurdle was immediate: when he people and I’m sure at least one of their suggested we dine at Quay I knew I had essays could be transformed into the sort to cancel the reservation I had made at of tripe that the fucking Journal of Cul- Thai La-Ong 2. Happily I remembered tural Transactions would publish. he was once rather active in the Labor But not now. I am laying helpless and Party and as such was only too happy to deflated on the couch. Landline is on woke with the shakes. Calmed younger I might have taken her around partake in yum cha at the Marigold. the television and the remote control is Athem with a shot of Tanqueray. the back for a ‘breakfast roll’, but I’ll The whole affair became rather nau- missing, buried under a pile of unmarked I generally try to avoid alcohol before just have to hope she doesn’t start asking seating, with Steven pompously rattling papers, empty bottles and sadness. The breakfast but sometimes, alas, it cannot questions. I might be nearing 60, bald- off seven years of academic achievements host’s face looks like a Merino and it be helped. Yesterday one of the more ing, and pissing gin, but I’m not going while I consoled my raging jealousy with has enflamed my temper. Oh to be a keen-eyed servants at the Footbridge to settle for banging tuckshop ladies just a bottle of Pinot Gris. The humourless sheep, roaming the countryside carefree, Station noticed my trembling fingers yet. Incidentally, it turns out not even a waitress didn’t appreciate my joke about concerned not with Vice-Chancellors or as I reached for the banana bread she hangover the size of Poland can make her ‘pork buns’, and to add insult to in- former colleagues or maybe going to jail was proffering. Had she been 30 years that banana bread edible. jury, my Visa card was overdrawn and I for a bit of upskirting. Good night.

Generic Arts Student o my Centrelink scheme failed. to focus on the band. We’re called The to compare me to her, SDespite the fact I swear my mum Postsets and we play a mix of post-mod- but I’m my own person, drinks enough sauv blanc every night to ern pseudo punk with a dash of synth you know. I keep telling qualify as a North Shore alcoholic, the driven dance beats. We’re waaaay more them I’m going to gather government didn’t believe it was unrea- alternative than any of that Triple J stuff. more life skills hitch- sonable for me to live at home. What I write all the lyrics and play lead hiking around Australia bullshit. I suppose I could always get a guitar. We sing about things like the than I ever would inside girlfriend who lives at college…but I’m destructive semiotic messages in main- the walls of their sand- not going to need a place to stay near stream media, and the cross-section of stone prison. campus much longer. totalitarianism and feminism in 21st They keep talking I’ve decided to take the band on the century Scandinavia. about needing to focus road - I don’t even need an Arts degree. I told my sister my plans first and fuck on my ‘future prospects’ All the Philosophy I need already sits in she was a total bitch about it too. It but I’m totally chillaxed my heart. It’s like what Nietzsche said: wasn’t good enough for her to be an 18 about the future. Sex, al- “Without music, life would be a mis- year-old upstart who beat me by more cohol, drugs, sleep, music take.” He just totally gets me. than 10 ATAR points in the HSC, no, she – that’s all I need and in As usual my parents lost their shit had to go and be all perfect in following that order. when I told them I was going to drop out mum and dad’s plans. They always want I fucking love this guy, aside from the eugenics... 26 honisoit @honi_soit Illustration: Bryant Apolonio

Honi Soit Opinion competition 2012 limbo

v The Honi Soit Opinion Competition is almost over! It’s your chance to win $1500! The theme for the opinion competition this year is ‘LIMBO’, and submissions are still open - but closing soon. Judged by Joe Hildebrand, entries should be between 700-800 words, and the winners will get cash prizes and their work published in Honi Soit. Deadline: Midnight, Wednesday 26 September 2012, emailed to [email protected]. Include: Full name, year, degree, faculty, student ID number, email address and phone number The Opinion Competition is made possible by the generous donations of one of the University’s most supportive alumni.