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,*mp**y ..,./""" •^* Power Hour - Daily 9-10 p.m. rgil $1.25 highballs »•'' ' " "" i " "" page 2 - The Meliorist, thursday november 16, 2000

- TD Waterhouse Investor Service - Business Development Assistant (ASAPi Summer! - BioSignal Packard Inc.. Montreal - Production Assistant (BSci: On-Campus Recruiting Positions for Summer: Careers Technical Writer. Marketing (biol. degree + French); Technolog) You must be registered in OCR in order to apply for the following Transfer Scientist B.Sc + French); Research Assistants: Director ol positions! Come in to CES (D6T0) for information on OCR ses. Production (Nov 17th) sions. - ConjuChem Inc. - Scientist/Technician Peptide Synthesis (ASAP) - Dow AgroSciences - Research & Product Develolpmeni - AnorMED Synthetic Organic Chemist: Research Association; Assistant: Summer Sales Assistant, various western Canadian loca­ Clinical Research Associate (ASAP) Genome Sequence Centre - tions. (Dec. 6th at Noon SHARP in CES.) Assistant System Administrator (ASAP) - BAST - Summer Research Assistant. Lethbridge (Jan 17th at All of the jobs we receive are posted on the - Canadian Mental Health Association - Residential Support .Aide: Job Boards on the 6th Level of University Noon Sharp in CES) Crisis Bed Worker (ASAP) - DuPont Canada- I -800 Customer Care Representatives; Hall (across from the Fresh Express)! Be - University of Toronto al Scarborough - Financial Aide Advisor Sales/Marketing Assistants. (Dec 12th at Noon Sharp in CES) sure to check it regularly as we update it (Nov 21st) almost daily. For information on Job - Peak Vocational Senices - Community Rehabilitation Worker Other Summer Positions: (apply directly to employer) Search or Career Planning, come in to (ASAP) - Kananaskis Country - Summer Park Interpreters (Jan 26th) Career & Employment Services in D610 - AXYS Environmental Consulting. Calgary - Junior Ecologist; - Parliamentary Guides - November 20th. - Due West Student Painting - Managers (ASAP) and ask Cheryl, Diane or Pat! Intermediate Vegetation Ecologist; Environmental Planner: G.I.S. Project Coordinator: Mapping Technician: Intermediate Technical -Alberta Land cV Forest - Rapattack/Helitack Support Crew Writer. (ASAP) Member (Nov. 30th) Having Trouble Deciding - Communications Security Establishment - New Grads as - National Research Council of Canada - Summer jobs in On A Career? Intelligence Biotechnologies. Information and telecommunications technologies. Analysts and Careers in Languages. Ottawa 11)cccmber 15th). Construction technologies. Infrastructure technologies. We also have a Careei Counsellor available on a part-time basis Manufacturing technologies. Core Science and management. Check who can help you assess your interests and skills, explore career Applications arc available in CES (for 2001 grads - positions star! it out online: www.nrc.ca/careers. Deadline to apply is January 31st. opportunities, assist with career decision-making strategies, referrals next year) You must be returning to full-time studies in the fall, possess a B+ to labour market information, and support with the development of - JET - The Japan Exchange and Teaching Programme - Teach average and must be a Canadian citizen or permanent resident. career goals and action plans. One-hour appointments are available English in Japan for one year! (Nov. 24th) on Tuesdays and Wednesdays only from 9 am to 4 pm. Come in to - InphoGene BioCom Inc. - Data Analyst (ASAP) FSWEP is here! These summer positions are with the Federal CES for more information. - Inflazyme - Research Associate in Cellular Biology: Research Associate. Microbiologist: In vivo Research Associate (ASAP) Government. You must be registered as a full-time student before Full Time - Burns Valkenburg Schwab Accountants - Articling position (Dec. and after summer 2001. There is no deadline to apply, however (please note that many of these positions start almost immediately- 15th) some departments may already be accessing the database! Don't but not all! The deadlines are in brackets.) - URS (Calgary) - G.I.S. Specialist - ASAP delay! Get your application sent or apply online at: jobs.gc.ca - U of LUtilities - Apprentice Millwright (Nov. 17th) - ConAgra Malt Americas. Calgary - 2 Laboratory Technicians to Positions include: - Holy Family Catholic Schools. Valleyview - Temproary Junior join Quality Assurance Team (ASAP). Hire A Student Summer Employment Officers (HRDC) High math, science and computer teachers. (ASAP) - Greystoke Home Support Services - Residential Support Worker Rideau Hall's Visitor Services and Interpretation Program - Dial Staffing Solutions - Customer Service Manager and Senior (ASAP) Defence Research Assistant Program Customer Senice Manager. Calgary (Nov 24th) - Oil & Gas Commission, Fort St. John. B.C. - Oil & Gas Resource Earth Sciences Program - Hull Child and Family Sen ices - Foster Family Support Officers (ongoing) Audit Trainee Program Counsellor. Native Family and Community Specialist (Nov 17th) - Teknov: & An Innovation Challenge, hosted by DY 4 Systems Student Guide Program in France - Health Canada - Regional Director General. AB and NWT region Inc. provides a supportive environment for Canadian entrepreneurs. Inshore Rescue Boat Program (Nov 16th) Visit the website at http://www.teknov8.com (Jan 1/01) Veterans Affairs Employment Equity Student Program - University of Calgary. Faculty of Social Work - Research and - Staples - Management Trainee (ASAP) The ideal candidate will University Partnership Program - Translation Bureau Development Administrator (Dec 1st) have a post secondary education (all disciplines are encouraged to Finance Canada Tax Policy Program apply). Staples'compensation package includes a Young Canada Works in National Parks and Historic Sites. $6,000 Tuition Aboriginal Students Employment Training Payback program. Aboriginal Student Internship Program - Edward Jones - Investment Representative (Jan. Aboriginal Summer Students Program 1/01) Agriculture &: Agri-food Canada (undergraduate and graduate) student newspaper of The University off Lethbridge - Law Commission of Canada - Contractor to exam­ Communications Research Centre Canada (undergraduate and grad­ An autonomous body, separate from the U of L Students' Union ine the ways in which our thinking about society has uate) SU -166, 4401 University Drive West, Lethhridge, AB T1K3M4 shifted overtime and how changes in the way we meliorism • n. (L melior, better) conceptualize "community" are connected to broader Interested in Volunteer or International Opportunities? The belief that the world shifts in social relationships. (Jan. 5/01) Come in to CES - we have books, binders and websites! We also naturally tends to get better and Part Time have two workstations you can use to conduct your searches on that this tendency can be - Lethbridge Herald - Relief Deliver)' Drivers - line. furthered by human effort. Nights (ASAP) The Meliorist is the student newspaper of the University of Lethbridge, published most Thursdays throughout the academic year by The Meliorist Publishing Society, an autonomous incorporated body. Please address all correspondence to The Meliorist, 4401 University Drive, Lethbridge, Alberta, T1K 3M4, or drop it off at room SU-166. Deadline for submissions is Sunday at noon. The phone number is (403) 329-2334 or fax us at 329-2333. Jimisms!! The Meliorist appreciates and encourages the writing of thoughtful, concise, timely letters. However, The Meliorist will only consider for publication those letters which are signed by the author (special arrangements may be made for those wishing anonymity, but Jim The Corporate Asshole sez: absolutely no pseudonyms), contain the authors legible name, address, telephone number and student identification number (address, I.D. and phone number not for publication). Letters may be edited for brevity, clarity and legality. The Meliorist reserves the right to edit submissions and will not print libelous material. Editor-in-Chief Robert Brown 7. Get busy lying or get Business Manager Tom McMorrow Copy Editor Mary Greenshields busy going bankrupt. News Editor Chris Grabill Sports Editor Chris Brown Photo Editor Jeff Johnson Entertainment Editor Kim Morison Production Manager Mick Pariseau Typesetter Matt Malek 2. The smaller the print, Distribution Manager Aaron Langstraat Production Assistant Lisa Terheide the larger the profits. Ad Manager Tyler Anderson Contributors: Tyler Christensen. Vincent Pariseau. Norie Irei, Bilal Wani. Shawn Russin. Craig Hamilton Andy Tyslau, The Onion. Douglas Lamb. Rob Aspin, Gabe Hill, Piotr Filipek. Carl Nyberg. Bruce Duguay. El Diablo Bruce Samuel, Deborah Schwabe. Creepy Uncle Stan. The Ghost of Jon Koch, actual Jon Koch, Mick the Handsome Two-Bit Actor. The Phantom Monkey. Mick's Mean Ex-Girlfriend Cheryl. 3. The guise of honesty Hot Carl the Narcoleptic, and of course... Jim the Corporate Asshole. can be a very lucrative This issue brought to you by: Anything and everything Danish!!! tool, indeed.

On the Cover: Creepy Uncle Stan...the 'back to horseshit cover! The Meliorist, thursday november 16, 2000 - page 3

Z^andbrnTlToughts. •••••••

pledged for providing high-speed 17 hrs/vveek performs statistical- My dinner with Lyle Oberg Internet access for all rural ly worse in their studies, schools in Alberta. (You did by Douglas Lamb office, touring the countryside, played a professionalism that know that the Internet is the sav­ When presented with these fig­ Opinion Writer promoting the legislation and should be a prerequisite for all ing grace of public education ures. Dr. Oberg responded that achievements he and his team MLAs and students at the right? Who needs teachers?) his government will not freeze or have accomplished, talking with Federa. That being said, at times - An overall H.H(A increase in even responsibly cap tuition. ever let it be said that teachers and conversing with Dr. Oberg more resembled a Education funding. Nor will they significantly practicums are a thank­ constituents. With the significant snake-oil salesman, pitching increase funding to universities N less experience in slave affluence Albeita is currently "Ralph Klein's Miracle Unfortunately, amid all this eco­ or colleges to help keep them labor. Occasionally a small perk enjoying, many wonder when Education Elixir." nomic largess and promises. Dr. down. What they will do is or opportunity comes along that Alberta Learning is going to start Oberg and Alberta Learning still make it easier to obtain loans and almost makes it worth the thou­ putting the money back into Some specifics from the evening: managed to shaft post-secondary tax breaks for students. The pre­ sands paid in tuition. For exam­ Education that was ripped oul in - ECS increased to 475 hours (up Education: vailing opinion is that it is easier ple, last Wednesday afternoon I the early 90s. The answer, in from 425 hours which results in - Tuition fees across Canada to pay off your debt at $30/hr had the opportunity to attend a short, is that the cheques are in extra funding to elementary have risen over 9? 100 in less alter graduation than it is to save little meet-and-greet reception the mail. Dr. Oberg (who could schools & teachers) than 10 years. That figure is up before hand at minimum with Learning Minister Lyle easily pass for Stockwell Day's - Public board educators have even higher in Alberta. wage. Oberg, hosted by the school younger, taller brother) rattled been given an average \6CA pay - The average student (everyone Essentially. Alberta Learning where I am currently interning. off an impressive array of statis­ increase since taking a 5CA cut in from full-ride scholarships to will do little to help you get an Apparently, our esteemed tics and information, displaying I994 (Never mind an equal rate nothing but loans) graduates education, but will help you get Minister ha.s been doing a num­ all his good deeds. He seemed to of inflation and cost-of-living owing $14 000 in student loans. into debt. ber of these small audience con­ enjoy the good-natured give-and- expenses) Any student (high school or ferences in his year and a half in take with the audience, and dis­ - $200 million was recently post-secondary) who works over Time for a Change: The Canadian Alliance

of funds will make it easier for young Conservative government take a large for Canadians. There are many other Canadians to attend college / university fyou are like myself, and many portion of money from their pockets aspects of reform that the Canadian after high school. other Canadians, we are concerned cries out for dire shame. When I am Alliance would introduce like the fol­ about the priorities and decisions Right now, the current loan system is done university and find a job. I want to lowing: senate reform, gun control, and Iofthe current Federal Liberal not working. The Canadian Alliance be able to provide for my family and paying down the debt through a legisla­ Government. I am disappointed with the will reform the current loan system to with the Canadian Alliance's fair tax tive plan. Ifyou want to learn more Progressive Conservative governments make it easier on students to build their plan of 177r we all will be able to keep about the Canadian Alliance. I urge you as well a.s the Liberal governments for future and attend college / university. more money in our pockets to spend to go to the campaign office and talk to many reasons. The first reason is This plan will enable students to pay off where we see fit. I figure that our par­ Rick Casson as I learned, he is willing to because I am a student and the second their student loans over a longer period ents deserve a break in taxes don't you? listen. Pick up a copy ofthe platform reason stems for when I am older and I of time than the current program which My next aspect of the election is on and read it over. I think you will find think of my future. Students have many pressures students to pay their loans off Rick Casson. During my first week here that the Canadum Alliance proposes an burdens placed on them. right after they step down from the grad­ in Lethbridge. I walked into the Agenda of respect for all Canadians. I The main burden is debt. The current uation podium. Constituency office and met him. He am from the riding of Crowfoot and I Liberal government gutted the total When I eventually have children of my offered me a coffee and we talked about am switching to vote here in Lethbridge transfer payments to the provinces. own, I want to be able to provide them politics for a long time. This displays because of Rick. Rick Casson is a down These transfer payments are put towards with funding for them to go to university the character of a down to earth politi­ to earth politician with great morals and the education and healthcare systems of or college. Right now with the current cian. There are many politicians in values that the Canadian people will Canada. The Liberals gutted this money Liberal and Conservative tax policy Canada who would not give the time to benefit from. Just take a look at his to the point where the current rate of makes it hard for many Canadians to talk to an 18 year-old student. As if record on the child pornography issue. debt for a bachelor program at the aver­ provide for their children. With the Sheila Copps could care about students, Rick, like many Canadians, are con­ age university / college is $25 000 where Canadian Alliance's tax policy, it will be she is too busy kicking crippled people cerned for the well being of all Canadian as when the transfer payments in 1990 easier to provide the funds that young out of her first class seats on her planes children. To here people say that a were high the rate was $9 000. As you Canadians need to find the best plausible from Ottawa. Rick spends countless Canadian Alliance government would can see, we need these funds to encour­ post-secondary education. Think of your hours door knocking to meet the people not benefit students, low income fami­ age students to seek a post-secondary parents and how hard they have worked of Lethbridge and hearing their "beefs" lies, and immigrants is typical Liberal education. Due to the slashing of the to be where they are right now. I know ofthe current Liberal government, and rhetoric and I believe that students can transfer payments the tuition cost are ris­ that my parents both worked hard to he believe me there are a lot. figure out what is best for them. With ing every year also. This adds to the where they are right now. My dad start­ Rick Casson had done an excellent job that in mind. I believe that it is time for current debt of many students. The ed his pipeline construction company of representing Lethbridge in the Federal a change in parliament and on Canadian Alliance will increase the from a welding truck and my mother Parliament, and what better wav to repay November 271'1 Rick Casson and the transfer payments to the provinces to worked hard in school to be a teacher's him than electing him in for. yet. another Canadian Alliance have my vote. decrease the burden of ascertaining a assistant at thc Coronation School. To term. He is a strong voice in Ottawa post-secondary education. 'This increase have a Liberal. New Democratic, or who simply is there to do what is best Jay Merchant

Buy Nothing Day Nov. 24**1 - resist the consumerism that is destroying us!

e are killing our planet. Earth is currently in cannot continue this. If we continue to rape the planet want to impress people, because we think that we are the middle of its sixth mass extinction. 'The that supports us, we are doomed. supposed lo, and just Tor something to do. Cleverly W best estimates indicate that Tour species go This destruction isn't happening just because there are planned advertising has convinced our culture that we extinct every hour (World Wildlife Fund, 2000). About too many people. It is happening because of the over must buy more. But we don't need to! Say no to exces­ half of earth's land surface has been transformed by consumption of the western world. Twenty percent of sive materialism. Think about what you buv and gel human activity, over half of assessable freshwater is the human population uses eighty percent ofthe what you need, nol what you are told you need. used by humans, humans fix more nitrogen than does all resources. By the age of eight, the average Canadian You have the power io stop us from destroying the natural sources, and there has been a 3095 increase in child consumes sixteen limes more resources than the planet! November 241'1 is International Buy Nothing atmospheric C02 since the Industrial Revolution. average person in a developing country will consume in Day. Savour your power as a consumer to control vour About half of the total production ofthe planet is used a lifetime. The average North American consumes live economic environment. Take a break Trom the cultural DI destroyed by humans. times more than a Mexican, ten times more than a brainwashing lhal is driving us to shop and don'l bus In its 1998-99 report the World Resources Institute Chinese person, and thirty times more than a person anything on November 24"1 please contact the Action! determined that the amount of energy that the world Trom India. Club at action ©uleth.ca. economy burns every day required the planet 10,000 North Americans are the most voracious consumers in days to produce. It would require four planets to sup­ the world. Our consumer culture is oul of control. We Stuart Craw lord port all humans to our standard of living (WRI). We arc driven to buy and buy and buv. We buv because we page 4 - The Meliorist, thursday november 16, 2000 Mews SU hosts all-candidates forum that his party is against corporate credit for the first 10 years. bv Tyler Christensen for an individual's first degree. This is senting the Canadian Action Party. involvemenl in education. Approximate!) 150 people were on News Writer on the condition that graduates remain began by also targeting CA leader I .ast to respond (al her own request i hand for the forum, which was moder­ in Canada for a period of time equal to Stockwell Day. He went on to say that ated by Dr. Geoffrey Hale, professor of that of their studies (four years). the CAP would set aside at least one was Kimberl) Budd, UolL student and Political Science. Each candidate was Otherwise, the) would face an enor­ billion dollars per year lor the sole Progressive Conservative candidate. allowed opening and closing remarks, ethbridge's six federal mous bill upon return. objective of reducing tuition to I990- I ler pari\ advocates restoring educa­ l as well as a prepared response to each election candidates con­ Garth Hardy, candidate for the New 'l levels. As well, student loans tion funding to the 1993-94 levels and of three questions written by the verged on the Atrium Democratic Party, and UolL studenl. would be made interest-free, and reducing taxation on scholarships. In LFriday, at the request of the Students' addition, the) support income-contin­ Students' Union. Time was also allot­ stated that the NDP would immediate!) repayable one year alter securing ted for questions from the lloor. Union. A wide variety of issues were lower tuition b) 30%. As well, exist­ employment. Lamden also stressed gent student loan repayment, with a tax discussed over the course ofthe forum. ing and future studenl loans would be Most relevant to students was a ques­ made interest-free. Recognizing that tion prepared by the SU and made living expenses arc a large burden on available to the candidates ahead of studcnls. the party would allocate 29? time. It asked: Wlxat specifically does ofthe national budgel to subsidized, your patty propose to do to deal with affordable housing. the issues currently facing Canadian Next up was Vaughan Hartigan ofthe siudenls'.' Liberal Party. He explained that, when First to take the stage was incumbent he began studying at the UofL in I986, Rick Casson ofthe Canadian Alliance. the cost of his tuition and books for the His party would begin with the restora­ entire year was $ I 500. Hartigan tion of transfer payments to the blamed the enormous increase over the provinces, and then reform the Canada last 16 years on the Alberta provincial Student Loan programme. Repayment government, particularly former would be on an income-contingent, Provincial Treasurer Stockwell Day. percentage basis instead ofa fixed "You can't tell me that those increas­ amount. "Students and young families es were in any way done fairly," stated are mortgaging their future with stu­ Hartigan, "or done for any particular dent debt." stated Casson. reason other than an attempt to squeeze Don Ferguson and the Green Party people who are not wealths out of uni­ had some "new ideas" about post-sec­ versity." ondary education. After repealing the Dan Lamden. a UolL student repre­ GST. they would abolish tuition fees I 'I H it. > hy I >K )ll I ili| » Ik

by Chris Grabill Present at the ceremony were representatives be open to the public and serve the entire commu­ News Editor from the University such as the President. nity, not just the University students exclusively. Chancellor, former chancellors, library staff and In addition to that the Lethbridge Community SU representatives. The city of Lethbridge had Access Program will be instituted in the centre; n Wednesday afternoon a selection dignitaries such as Aldermen. MLAs. Ellis Don this is a programme where free access computers Capping of Lethbridge's elite look part in Construction executives, and our MP Mr. Rick are available for public use. the capping off ceremony ofthe Casson participating. Bob Cooney, ofthe UolL. President Bill Cade took the podium with a posi­ OLINC building. The project that began over a began the proceedings with ihe introductions of tive insight on the proceedings. "I. like everyone, off year ago. and is expected to be in full opera­ the guests and inviting people to briefly speak on look forward to October when we will open the tion by the Fall 2001 semester, has the frame­ the whole project. most modern and technologically advanced uni­ work completed and all the concrete poured. Master of Ceremonies and Minister of Human versity library in North America, not just in the The ceremony was the celebration of the last Resources the Hon. Clint Dunford opened bv say­ country. We're very much proud of this structure, strip of concrete being poured to complete the ing, "I believe that it is symbolic in the sense that and it is a perfect example ofthe University of roof the LINC (Library Information Network the representatives ofthe community continue to Lethbridge co-operating with the City of Centre) building. show how the University is collaborating and fur­ Lethbridge. other parts of our community and the ther integrating itself inlo the community." He government." After more speeches, il was finall) then continued to point out how the facility will lime lo see the progress ofthe LINC project. As we were lead down the old ninth level hallway (formerly the hallway to the tunnel) we entered the BSBEIiBI building's main floor. 'The HKJfc?S25w i» interior is still quite gutted ^ > ~-H but the imagination can put together a good idea ol what the finished product will look like. A main entrance and hallwa) highlight ihis level and How nicely with the corri­ dors and spiralling stair­ ways. Upstairs, ihe crane drew up a large steaming pile of the finishing material for the building. It was brought to the final bare spot on the roof while the THURSDAYS entire speaking panel was gathered. After a count­ Drink Specials: down from three the ensemble cast pulled the handle and the capping of (starts at 8:00 p.m.) our newest building was completed. After the ini­ $1.50 Half Pints tial pour, the former chan­ cellors got a turn, followed b) the SU representatives $1.99 Highballs and the Library staff. An upbeat spirit was carried to the lunch afterwards as all the money, hard work, and preparation haw paid oil in a tangible form foi all involved. The LINC pro­ ject looks fantastic and will be cutting edge when it opens its doors next fall. news The Meliorist, thursday november 16, 2000 - page 5 UofL gains in 2000 Maclean's survey

University of Lethbridge cent per year, it is very gratifying to sec that we amount we put towards the library as a percent­ expect thai facility to significantly enhance our Press Conference can welcome and serve more students without age of the University's budget. We've got a new ability to attract and retain top researchers and losing sight of the elements that make this a library building opening next year, and this facil­ provincial and federal research support that will he University of Lethbridge has gained quality educational institution." President Bill ity and the resources we put toward it will he allow us to expand that critical element of our ranking in the l()tn annual Survey of Cade said. "I am particularly proud of our stu­ among the key factors in our continued success." research community, our continued success in TCanadian Universities. dents, whose collective academic achievements The University also scored highly on institu­ cultural and athletics activities, our record of and Overall, the University received eight top-ten are reflected in a substantial increase in the tional resources devoted to student services (2ntJ our desire to serve the community in a variety of placements, and maintained or increased its Average Entering Grade category, and also the ways, these are all intangibles that makes us place) medical/science grants (2n" place) and proportion of our students with average grades who we are. and it's important to remember position in more than 50 percent of the cate­ faculty members who have received national gories, which measure 20 institutional bench­ of 75 percent or higher." those elements as well as the ones which we are awards (2nc* place). marks ranging from students' average entering Cade added that increases in the section ofthe being ranked on this instance." "We've also got many, many other develop­ grades to the percentage of the budget devoted study which outlined resources for ihe library The complete data set. which outlines the spe­ ments taking place on campus that Maclean's to student services and library resources. were also encouraging. "We maintained and cific - and often minute - percentage differences doesn't measure." Cade said. "Our new Life "When we're growing at an average of IO per increased placements in all three categories - the between institutions will be available in the holdings per student, acquisitions and the Sciences building will be open in 2001, and we upcoming edition of Maclean's magazine.

Why you should vote for the Canadian Alliance by Chris Grabill tized Sikhs and others. Some examples include the contract and $407 673 to fund the pro­ News Editor Homosexuals are not increase of exemptions and duction of a theatrical play that took going to be horribly perse­ introduction of a child tax place in the Prime Minister's home rid­ cuted despite the fear mon- deduction so that a four- ing. his weeks CEC will take a gering presented by indi­ member family will pay no The Canadian Alliance is a party new format, my rambling viduals such as "Ima tax on the first $26 000 of attacked for the wrong reasons. Trant has contributed a letter to Lefty." The Liberal Part) income. Solution 17 is a Someone with strong religious beliefs the biggest current event going on has not increased gay rites policy where everyone will should not be frowned upon: it is a today. in their reign of power. I pa) a Hat rate tax of 17%. quality to prove honesty, integrity and In response to an ill informed, half- am not saying two wrongs With the exemption of high- dedication. Other religions have sup­ truth filled letter by someone who does make a right but this issue income earners who are ported the Canadian Alliance, do they not have the conviction and/or confi­ cannot justly be pointed as ^•^ LHHH ^B^ now classified as those know something that others do not or dence in their opinions to use their real a CA only flaw. It is some­ making over SI00 000 a are thev just mature enough to appreci­ name. CEC must reply with some rele­ thing that must be year will be taxed at a high­ ate Mr. Day's values and know it is not vant arguments. addressed nationally by a er rate of 2595. Businesses a death sentence for others who differ, To begin with, a woman's right to new party of equality, not will be able to invest, but a step in tme equality. 1 am also choose is an issue that is an unrealistic one thai ignores these expand and therefore create quite certain that if Mr. Day becomes argument for deciding your vote. Mr. groups and uses them as more jobs under the pro­ the leader of the country, he w ill be Day's personal opinion ofthe subject ammo when they need to posed tax cuts to small busi­ accessible on Sundays if it is a dire should not condemn the entire party. solidity their shaky platform. annually. Without a debt, that is a large ness and high tech companies. emergency. That is just stupid to think As the leader ofthe Canadian Alliance, The more important matters people sum of money that is freed up to insti­ Liberals' proposed tax cuts are insignif­ otherwise. he may try to table this but it will be should dwell on are the ones that will tute in society. With the debt, that is a icant. I am not religious. I am pro-choice lost in the shuffle as it is not a popular affect all of us in the present and the quarter of the money going to the gov­ Finally, the Liberal party are dishon­ and not afraid of what I believe in. I view held by all party members or the future. ernment essentially being wasted. est and poor managers. Look at the will not thinly veil who I think you majority of people in this great country. A big one is the debt, a citizen does Health transfer payments were Human Resource fiasco where $1 bil­ should vote for a.s "Ima Lefty" did It will not happen. not wake up every morning and notice reduced from $18.8 billion dollars lion dollars was handed out but no (Liberal supporter perhaps?). We must As for minorities, I do not follow the national debt looming over them. when the Liberals took power to SI2.5 paper trail was located to justify these allow a strong western voice come out. exactly whal your argument is. What That is why the Liberal spin-doctors billion in '97. They have slyly grants and disbursements. The) fol­ the country is the greatest in the world schools are you proposing be built by can mention that they are paying it off increased this in the last year to $15.5 lowed this up by announcing their but under the present government inac­ public funds? One for each denomina­ and make it a small issue. The billion in the year they call an election. mini-budget the same day as the audi­ tivity we will begin to lose the title and tion? Well, that's an interesting Liberals' attempts at paying down the Clever. The Canadian Alliance will tor general's report outlining the mis­ we must move into the 21st century approach to national unity. The public debt will take hundreds of years to restore these payments and research takes made. In essence, disguising vv ith a strong, committed government. education system will remain the same, eradicate it. The Canadian Alliance alternatives to improve the Health Care their incompetence with supposed Or at least force a minority govern­ a public system welcoming everybody. vows to aggressively pay it off and system. This does not mean a two-tier good news. Other fantastic uses of ment, as this will allow voices form I think minorities ean look at the introduce legislature to guarantee sig­ system necessarily, it means that some­ money authorized by the Liberals across the country be able to effect the party's candidates as a testament that nificant payments every year and every thing will be explored lo belter the sys­ include a $98 000 grant from Canadian outcome of the country and not permit the Canadian Alliance is not a white. surplus. Why is this so important? tem for everybody. heritage to print "5(H) Best Blonde the Liberals to be able to push all their Christian-only elite group. Candidates Simply put, at present, 25 percent of The tax plans of the CA benefit fami­ .Kikes." a $1 billion loss incurred by the half-baked policies through uncontest­ include people of oriental descent, bap­ tax dollars noes to interest on the debi lies, investment gains and businesses. Liberals cancellation ofa helicopter ed. Let's nil get there!

News Editor Chris Grabill is elated as pay-day at the Meliorist is here once again.

Good job Chris!!!

PhOtO tiy Roll ' ilifMfK page 6 - The Meliorist, thursday november 16, 2000

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Offer applies to select models excluding Dodge Viper and Plymouth Prowler. Rebate includes GST. Limited time offer applies lo university or college graduates between Oclober 1 1997 dS b 30 2000 news The Meliorist, thursday november 16, 2000 - page 7 Asia's number one hit: 'In the Heat of the Momenf

by Norie Irei ed). Naha is its largest city. Okinawa Chinese in 1870, but near the end of warfare, fhe village that won the another. When they encounter drum­ ISA is situated 970 miles southwest of World War II, Okinawa was seized by most competitions during these festi­ mers and dancers from another vil- Tokyo, and 4I0 miles northeast of the United States. The 67-mile-long vals was considered strong and pow­ lage. thev stop and dance. This is to Okinawa Taipei. island was returned to Japan in 1972. erful. One ofthe competitions is provoke the other village to a duel kinawa is known as the A long time ago. Okinawa was sepa­ but the US has retained military bases called Eisa, and it is described below. where each village shows off its danc­ "Hawaii of Japan.'* rate and independent from Japan, and on Okinawa. The beautiful coral reefs ing skills. As this goes on, two men OSubtropical climate and prospered because of trade between an; dying and Okinawa argues that the Eisa dressed as clowns cheer the villagers warm ocean China. Korea, and South Asia. As a USA and Japan should take their mili­ his competition i.s held in mid- and encourage therr. to participate in currents grace the Ryukyu archipel­ result, the culture prevalent in tary bases away to save the coral August from about 9 pm until the dancing. ago's premiere island, making it a Okinawa today has been greatly influ­ reefs. T3 or 4am. 50 men participate. favored travel destination among enced by her previous trade partners. In earlier times, there were several The men carry drums, which they beat The ideas and views expressed in this Japanese, Korean and Taiwanese Many visitors who come to Okinawa battles between villages in Okinawa. throughout the night. They go from article are those of the author and not tourists. Okinawa is Japan's realize that Okinawa is similar to One ofthe earlier kings. King Shoem, street to street dancing to the music ISA. southernmost prefecture, consisting of Japan and/or China in many ways. decided to have festivals to replace and beat created by the drums, and 160 islands (most of them uninhabit­ After centuries of dispute, Japan battles. This way, people could have women dance behind them. 3 to 5 wrested control of Okinawa from the interesting competitions instead of men carry a big flag and pass it to one In a blaze of glory.

by Piotr Filipek and electricity to the affected complex, which News Writer forced occupants, most of whom are University stu­ dents, out of their homes for the night. ire swept through a nearby townhouse com­ Fire-walls separating each ofthe units from kept plex Wednesday night. At about 6:30pm the blaze from spreading into adjoining units. Ffirefighters were called to unit #37 on However, there was considerable smoke damage to Lemoyne Crescent. The unit was home to a family the two adjoining units, both occupied by of four from Saskatchewan. The mother and her University students. two young children were in the unit when the tire Victims Services was on the scene immediately in started; they escaped without injury before the tire order to help effected individuals, making sure they overtook their home. had places to stay that night and informing them on Firefighters responded from three different sta­ the situation. tions throughout the city. They battled the blaze till Residents were allowed to return to their homes after 9:00pm and officials were on scene for most the following day. However, upon their return, stu­ ofthe night making sure that the fire did not start dents who have homes adjoining the burned out up again. unit found severe smoke damage to their home. Investigators believe that the blaze began in the The official cause of the fire cannot be determined furnace room of the unit. Once started, the fire at this time due to the severe damage that was sus­ spread into the walls ofthe building and consumed tained to the unit in question. However, officials most of the unit. hope to have answers within the next few weeks. Arriving on scene, officials shut off all gas, water

THE TOP HAT Remmkrinj>,„ M EXOTIC DANCERS CLUB

Cdsfta Ray (Afiase xxx'Torn Star » OCeana Steef 'Meagan Summers j^Ebony Sky ^(fiiia (Bank. page 8 - The Meliorist, thursday november 16, 2000 news A behind-the-scenes look at Election 2000

whether the Liberal government through some possible election by Tyler Christensen insincere, is one option ifyou are main regions. As it stands today, will be a majority or a minority. results scenarios. The idea was News Writer most concerned vv ith removing this applies only to the federal The topic of political games­ to show that, should the Liberals the incumbent. It involves over­ Liberal Party. manship by professional political fail to win enough seats to form looking your first choice in "Reform is busy trying to make managers was also discussed. a majority, they could still func­ favour of tbe candidate with the itself over into a new national According to Dr. Geoffrey Hale. tion without much ofa problem. T best chance of an upset. "The party. Tbat was the whole point these individuals use polling data The floor was opened to ques­ n an effort to shed some main thing you want to do is of becoming the Canadian tions before the session conclud­ light on the upcoming make your vote count." he main­ Alliance." he explained. "The when writing policy to recognize M federal election, tbe tained. first lest is to break through into which parts are most likely to be ed. One member of the audience Political Science department disputed and which are most brought up the issue of negative The unfortunate shift, over the Ontario. That's what you should conducted a voter information likely to be well-received. last 30 years, from national to be watching for on election campaigning. Jansen attempted seminar on Thursday. Nov 9th. regional political parties was night." Hale labels this. "The insincere to quell the commonly-held- The discussion began with an next on the agenda. As defined McCormick went on to say in pursuit of the inattentive." myth that Canadian politicians explanation of election rules by by Dr. Peter McCormick, a truly that, until a second national party Using the number of seats held are above using this method. "It Dr. Harold .lansen. He then used national party is one that is "rea­ emerges, this, and subsequent by each party when Parliament happens all the time, and it these facts as an argument for sonably competitive" in all of the elections will only determine was dissolved. McCormick ran works very well," he said. "strategic voting." This tech­ nique, described by some as Ways to mispronounce Top wnte-in candidates for Lethbridge candidates' Ljettibridge constituency names 1. That guy in that one play about that thing with those foreign accents -Get your hands off me, you mad dog.

2. My big black ass - nor available for comment. 1. Dick Assman, Slick Gasman, Brick Ration 3. Hot Carl the Narcoleptic -Check my name, I'm the one to pick, 2. Barf Fartigan, Van Hammer, Lawn Grow-Again, if you don't you can suck my ZZZZZZZZZZZ. Gets HardAgain 4. That guy dressed like the ice cream man - Proven Track 3. Fart Medley, Start Tartly, Art Barley, Hart Martley, Mary Hart Record.

4. Spam Ramden, Ralph Cramden, Random Man, 5. The Great Canadian Action Hero - Proven Track Record. Cram RamThem, Dim Light-On 6. UofL Concrete - Filling all the holes since 1967. 5. Bim Kudd, Tim Fudd, Limberly Studd, Big John Studd 7. Tyler Anderson's Balls - Hanging around since '78. 6. Turd Ferguson, Buck Turgidson 8. Super Ground Squirrel - / have a cape. Can you guess who's who? 9. Got Fries - not available for comment.

Production Manager Mick Pariseau is elated as pay-day at the Meliorist is here once again.

Good job Mick!!!

•••••••••Mi

by The Onion theonion.com

Mozambique Out of Toilet Paper Half-Empty Bottle of Malibu Found In MAPUTO, MOZAMBIQUE- Mo/ambican officials declared a Woods Behind School state of emergency Monday following the depletion ofthe nation's JASPLR, GA- A half-empty bottle of Malibu rum was discovered bathroom-tissue supply. "We are imploring Zimbabwe and Monday in the woods behind Jasper Junior High School by a trio Tanzania, please look into your hearts and think about loaning our of eighth-graders. "We have located alcohol," said Mason Reed, nation just a lew million rolls until we can go shopping again," 14, upon making the coconut-flavored find. "Repeat: We have President Joaquim Chissano said. "We are just sitting here." alcohol." Chissano said citizens of ihe African nation are making do with Following their one-cap-at-a-time consumption of the bottle's napkins and paper towels until reinforcements arrive. contents, Reed and partners Jake Seidel and Jesse Kite look turns insisting that they felt drunk. The Meliorist, thursday november 16, 2000 - page 9 •Entertainment

CjU^^SJOCDf ll OflT lll^^ V\AG^3-rC ^^TylerAiTcJerson&Jc^Koch

Mick's Mean Phantom Monkey The Ghost of Mick, the Hot Carl Ex-Girlfriend Cheryl Since the Jon Koch Handsome, Two-Bit The Narcolept Carter/Reagan debates Actor Bush. Gore, because of 1980, I have been The 51st state baby!! Gore, because he One word Mick: everytime I see Bush, greatly disappointed in Alberta, U.S.A. looks like Charlie FRY! the Democratic Party's Sheens dad, Martin, I just have to... stand towards who plays the zzzzzzzzz... rd Political 3 Year economic development Science President on The 2nd Year "Get Mick" Studies in northern Idaho. Graduate West Wing. 1st Year 8th Year Bush Studies Spakle Studies Waiter Studies Kutzie and his Paisley Roetry Come?:..

Slacks entertain small r m iie Meliorist is interested in featuring the poetry of university writers on a weekly basis in our new 'Poetry Comer.' If i you have a poem that you would like to submit, either e-mail to [email protected] or stop by SU 166 (the office) and crowd at the Zoo 41 drop it off in care of the Entertainment Editor. Submissions are accepted on a volunteer basis, however, it is a great way to get your work published. Deadlines are Monday at noon, so get writing and bring your work by The Meliorist today! by Kim Morison Challenges Entertainment Editor by Bilal Wani Challenges just keep comin' We just like to keep hummin'

Tests in life will continue hile most students went away for the long weekend, & each one will be brand new Student's Union brought in Kutzie and his Paisley Slacks, who entertained a small crowd of die-hard You never know where it may lead Wstudents at the Zoo on Friday. Admission was free, and although the It may help or make you bleed show was originally supposed to start at 5 pm, with the opening act (John Many challenges are rough and tough Greenshields) starting a 4:30, it did not start until around quarter after May not swallow but you may cough five, apparently due to the extra long set up of the main stage act. University of Lethbridge student John Greenshields, on the other hand, It just i.s not easy for us to tell had few props to set up, as it was just he and his guitar, playing a very Whether they'll lead to heaven or hell simple, yet effective set. He jokingly said that he was "playing experi­ Be sure to know what your steps are mental music, as you may only get half the song" when having to deal Be sure not to stop or go too far with the sound troubles of the main set up. Eventually, the sound system was fixed, and after listening to him, I found that he had a very easy lis­ Life may not always be a good relay tening tone. In fact, his voice reminded me of the more traditional coun­ But make it as fun as a fair play. try singers like Johnny Cash or Willie Nelson (although he may not appreciate that remark as he is not a country singer, but it is meant in a complimentary way). The sound of just the guitar versus the typical loud electric guitars added to the pub atmosphere and it was nice to hear the simplicity of music again. His songs did seem a little melancholy, but it was a great way to mellow the mood for the main band. Kutzie ami his Paisley Slacks warmed up in a very different way. They wanned up to the continually raised decibels of U2, which made me question why the guitarists were trying to warm up over that. But it cer­ tainly did catch the crowd's attention. They came on stage at 5:45 and, a a after trying to coax the few people up to the front, they began playing. The lead singer was pretty good, and their sound kind of reminded me of Templar. The bass and background music almost overpowered their lead singer and it was difficult to hear- the lyrics. They also sang what they 5 TO termed as a 'country garage song', however, l found that his voice was too rough for country music. The rest of their songs were good to listen °_Q to. They had a lot of range, even hitting the odd higher note. 1.9 All in all, the concert was pretty good, although having a live group come in on the eve of the long weekend took away its desired impact. It will be interesting to see what the Student's Union and Zoo will have for (514) 842-7954 • www.erit-nts.qc.ca future entertainment, but stay tuned. entertainment page 10 - The Meliorist, thursday november 16, 2000

Play a hilarious romp through 18th C. England

University of Lethbridge ner., of another era. duction is an interesting mix ol News Release "'This plav really challenges the concrete and ethereal. "We studcnls in several ways. First, lake a skeleton, flesh it out. the style of ihe play includes breath life into it. dress it up. several dev ises not often used then after its five day run. . . . ich and handsome. in contemporary theatre such as It's gone. In main ways that is Marlow is famous the aside, where the character the most exciting and saddest for charming bar­ talks directly lo thc audience. part of the art of theatre." Rmaids, but is hopelessly bashful Second, thev had to learn to Come and enjoy the 'art of with young society ladies. speak w ith British accents con­ theatre' by getting your tickets I) ermined to win his heart. sistently. Third, the elaborate early for She Sloops io M s Kate Hardcastle casts off clothing ofthe 18th ccnlurv Conquer, November 21st - hei finer) and dons the dress of necessitates a much more for­ 25th. Call the Box Office: a serving girl with hilarious mal wav of moving and act­ 320-2e> 16. A complimentary results. As she 'stoops to con- ing." Young women used to shuttle service transports the­ qin ft mischief, arranged mar- jeans and t-shirts are dressed atre patrons from the UofL ria ;s, mistaken identity, and up in corsets and layers upon North parking lot lo ihe Theatre in \pecied encounters set the lavers of padding, underskirts entrance. si ige for an evening of uproari­ and fine gowns. Young men. ous laugher. equally used to comfortable \ comedic masterpiece, She attire, wear vests, long coats Sloops io Conquer b\ Oliver and hoots vv ith hard soles and Goldsmith, one of the most high heels. "As you can imag­ produced plays in the English ine this takes a lot of practice language, graces the stage in and adds LI whole other layer io the I niversitv Theatre from thc production." said November 2 1st to 25th. Parkinson, with a smile. "This is an enduring plav that Iwo special guests from die has kept its appeal and fresh­ community have been enticed ness because ii taps into all the to perform in this production. classic elements of comedy." Warren Craves, a well-known said Director Brian Parkinson, playwright living in Raymond, a professor in the Division of plav s the character of Mr. Theatre and Dramatic Arts. Hardcastle. Sir Charles '"The characters are all round, Marlow is portrayed by Brian rich, and complex."' Tyson, a Professor Emeritus in In addition to interesting char­ the English Department, who acters finding themselves in vv as involved in the creation of unusual situations, She Stoops the first Drama Depart ment al to Conquer is a glimpse into the (niversitv. "I think hoth another time and place. Called were tempted by the quality of a "period piece' because it is set their parts. They hoth have in the late 18th century, the 20 lovely parts in a lovely play." actors involved got a lesson in The creation ofa theatre pro­ history, culture and the man­

11, .1,1 by Ploti i iiii»

14th. Tickets are available at the Japanese artisans. Visit the studios of Southern Alberta Art Gallery, B. a potter, a doll sculptor, a puppeteer "SAAG Cinema' a big hit Macabee's Booksellers or al ihe door. and a paper maker. and cost $6 (S3 for gallery members). For more information, call SAAG at Nov 28m- Margaret Atwotjd: Once in SAAG Oleg Kiselliov, Julia Richings and decides to lake matters into his own 403.327-8770. or visit their website at August, 57 min. A look into the per­ Press Release Vanya Rose. Two Thousand & None hands by catering to every single one was shown at this year's Toronto of his whims. http://home.uleth.ca/~saag/. sonal life of one of Canada.s most 80 people attended the October International. Calgary, and Tokyo Two Thousand & None is a rich, respected authors and recent Booker Tuesdays @ Noon 18th screening ofthe award-win­ International Film festivals, as well as funny and bizarre trip through life's Prize winner. ning British production Saving at events in Montreal and New York final and ultimate journey: a comedy to The November line-up for the 1 Southern Alberta An Gallery's film Screenings begin at 12:05 p.m. in the Grace, shown as part of "SAAG City. die for. Additional information can be series Tuesdays at Noon are as follows: Turcotte Library. The weekly events ('inemaft the Southern Albeita Art This highly original comedy-drama obtained at www.calgaryfilm.com and 1 1 Gallery's film series offered in associa­ explores the odyssey of Benjamin www.ualatilm.com. Nov 14 ' - AH Ache: Life is Short. 50 are free of charge and come with com­ tion with 'The Film Circuit', a division Kasparian (John Turturro). a brilliant min. The use of unorthodox materials plimentary refreshments. Some of ofthe Toronto International Film palaeontologist who. on the heels of his SAAG Cinema will continue month­ (such as mud, garbage and even food) these v ideos can also be viewed at ihe Festival group. amazing discover) that will forever ly at Lethbridge Centre Cinema #1. in contemporary an can raise some gallery during regular hours, and can interesting questions. Hear the ideas be signed out by gallery members. On Wednesday, November 15th change the history of science, learns he with The Tao of Steve (USA, 2000. Dir. of artists, curators and collectors aboul For more information, please call the (7pm. Lethbridge Centre Cinema #1). has Talbot's Syndrome, a terminal and Jcnniphr Goodman) scheduled for art of this nature should be dealt with. Southern Alberta Art Gallery at 327- SAAG Cinema will feature the fatal brain disease. Shocked by tlie Wednesday, December 13th. 8770. ('anadian film Two I'hoitsand & None news that he only has a month to live. The 2(X)I line-up will be announced Nov 21st- Living Treasures of Japan. directed bv Arto Paragamian starring Benjamin is having a little trouble deal- in December, confirmed dates are 60 min. A fascinating profile of several John Turturro, Katherine Borovvii/. ins w ith his own mortality. He January 17th. February 14th and March

• I i . i : i ' - ihe city councilman comes to est and the spassers refuse to spass in their house. Stoffer and another their own private situations. What I begin spassing. When potential found the most interesting at this the group of spassers takes a lour of ing". The commune is led by buyers for their house come by. the point in the film was that the entire The idiots Ihe local insulation factor), or when ( liristopher. or "Stoffer" as he is commune hegins to act as what commune seems to have an outside Director: Lars Von the group goes to the local pool coin­ affectionately called when in midst of Stoffer calls frequently "the retards life, with the exception of Stoffer. If Trier ed) ensues. a "spass." from up the streel," he were chosen to spass in front of Starring: Various The film begins with the commune Whal plot there is in this film is The group spasses to get free food. the private people in his life, whom Danish idiots. seemingly pointing out to the audi­ generated through ihe newest addi­ and eventually Stoffer leads the would he do it in from of.' His life Rated: XXX ence that the menially handicapped tion to the commune: Karen. group to a gang-bang situation, upon seems devoted lo spassing. are Healed with disdain bv those Through the course ofthe film Karen which the explicit sex makes its her­ Lars Von frier has made one. of the by Creep) Uncle Stan without disability. However, as the is encouraged to find "her inner alded appearance, ll is interesting to most offensive movies to come along Office Weirdo & Nudity Aficionado film progresses, the commune is no idiot" by the rest ofthe commune. note thai some of the people in the in awhile. It is offensive, but il is different than anyone else. The fhe humour of this film comes commune don't spass, as they seem very funny, fhe film is available on lie Idiots is a laugh-a-minute group hides behind their spassinu from the spassinu sessions that occur lo be "keepers" ofthe spassers when video, hut whether or not it is uncut romp. It is really that simple as because they themselves are underde­ in public, fhe reactions others have in the public domain. is another question altogether. Lars Von Trier's film doesn't veloped as people. When the group J u> the characters (whom thev think Towards the end of ihe film, lite Should one IflUgh when watching this have many redeeming qualities, other feels threatened, or wants something, are mentallv handicapped) are where Idiots plays oul like Fighl Club', the movie? Yes, because no matter how than ihe situations that are uncovered the best of the humour lies. When thev drop inlo their spassing. When due to the commune's act of "spass- group members generally lose inter- offensive it is. it is still just fiction. The Meliorist, thursday november 16, 2000 - page 11 page 12 - The Meliorist, thursday november 16, 2000 entertainment Kim Mitchell at The Edge

were like. There were even some new mem­ bv Piotr Filipek Unfortunately, the singer's vocal talents were fun. Great music performed by a great per­ bers lo the band, The drummer and keyboards Entertainment Writer not up to those of her band mates. However, former. Songs like 'This is a Rock Song'. 'Go were not original members of Kim's act. but this is a new hand and they do have potential. for a Soda' were definite crowd pleasers. But thev are definitely good enough to play with ethbridge was host to a Canadian musi­ They just need some more work in front ofa most people were there lo see him play one cal icon Sunday night. Kim Mitchell live audience. sony in particular, which they started calling the best. L played to a full house al The Edge. By the time that Kim Mitchell look the stage, out for right off the hat. Kim's response was I don'l know if it was the beer I was drinking The evening started with opening act The the crowd was definitely read)' for some good "Ya right, like were gonna get out of here alive or just the fact that I was nearly exhausted by Shannon Faith Band. The group had a sound old-fashion rock. Show ing up in his signature without playing "Patio Lanterns'." And play it the end ofthe show, bul hearing him live is reminiscent o\ Wide Mouth Mason with a Style o\ shorts. T-shirt and a ball cap (Toronto the) did. Like most musicians who have better than any classic radio flashback. The female lead. The arrangement was good, the Maple Leafs, mind you), there was no glil/. no played certain songs countless limes, he songs brought back great memories of good musical elements ofthe band (hass. drums, glamour, just the music. What I did find changed it up a bit to keep it fresh. The new limes and great friends I haven't seen in a long guitar) were very good, and the band played shocking was that Kim Mitchell cut his hair. arrangement was quite good. I have to say. time. extremelj well together, fhe songs that were What is up with that? Let's just say thai il As for Kim's band, they were better than Even with his short hair. Kim Mitchell is played were quite strong, well thought out. and took a little getting used to. ever. It's heen a while since I heard so many what makes music great. He has fun vv ith it. nicely constructed. The weakest link that I Anyhow, the show did go on and what a keyboard sounds come out of a rock band, but He never takes himself too seriously, and he is could find in the group was the vocalist. show it was. Simply put ihe show was just it was a nice reminder of whal ihe Eighties always ready to please a crowd.

made me smile. Maybe it's because I really don't like tbe news humor that I see on television, but to see an entire 2- hours of it was even worse. And. I really think that Kudrow's only career will be on Friends. I hate to label her like that, but it seems to be the only role that suits her. Lucky Numbers out of the news industry and venture into bigger and better Keep in mind, though, that this is only my opinion on the things on television, like hosting game shows. However. movie. I just thought you would probably enjoy other Russ is having severe financial problems with his dealership movies this weekend than this one. and I'm sure I've given Director: Nora Ephron and will loose it if he doesn't pay those large outstanding you a few other possibilities. Not only that, but it will also Starring: John Travolta, Lisa Kudrow, Ed bills. With the help of his friend Gigi (Tim Roth), a strip- save you the money and, more importantly, tbe time. O'Neill, Tim Roth, Michael Moore, Bill club owner, and thc lotto girl Crystal (Lisa Pullman & Michael Rappaport. Kudrow), they devise a plan to rig the state Rated: 1 4A lottery that totals $6.4 million. Crystal and Red Planet Russ, however, run into collection problems by Andy Tyslau when their station manager Dick (Ed Director: Somebody Entertainment Writer O'Neill) stumbles upon his co-workers' Starring: Val Kilmer, Tom Sizemore, scheme and demands part of their winnings. Benjamin Bratt, Carrie-Anne Moss, thought that I was on a real winning streak here. So far, I though that after Battlefield Earth. & Terrance Stamp. I have managed to pick out movies that I enjoyed and Travolta would have taken some time out to Rated: 14A Iwould recommend to all of you for your weekend picks. recover from his injuries at the box office But, I guess you have to close out sometime sooner or later, and then get back into the swing of things. I by Piotr Filipek and Lucky Numbers was my fallout. was wrong. I was dead wrong. I thought Entertainment Writer This story follows a popular and well-liked meteorologist that Lucky Numbers was predictable and a (insert laughter here) named Russ Richards (Travolta). He bil too slow for my liking. And, since our hen I first saw the trailer for this movie, I thought: "Ah. cool a new owns a snowmobile dealership that employs one other per­ main character was a weatherman, the sci-fi action show, it is about bloody time." So, you can guess what l son, and even has his own table and parking space at the attempt to carry the "news humor" through thought I was in for when going to see this show. Well, it is not what tow n's best bistro. Denny's. Russ is desperately trying to get w: the entire movie made me moan more than it I expected. First off, this show is not an action flick. It may look like one, but it is not. Following the trend of other Mars-based movies, the cast, which includes Val Kilmer, Tom Sizemore and Carrie-Anne Moss, are suanded on the surface of Mars with no way home and something out there trying to kill them. It's the typ­ ical sci-fi story line, but not much to build a serious plot around, right? Well, that's not entirely true. Red Planet is not your typical sci-fi show, the story line posed questions about God, life, and existence, and used a lot of philosophical methods to prove its points. I was pleasantly surprised with the direction the film takes you in. As for the acting, that was another pleasant surprise. I have to say that I nor­ mally don't like Val Kilmer but the way he portrayed his character was quite good, I was vary impressed, his character is soft spoken, and intelligent. Carrie- Anne Moss is not just the token he jhick in the show, she actually does some acting. As I said before, this is not a action movie, so if you're looking for guns blaz­ ing, shit getting blown up and a big bug that gets killed, go rent Starship Troopers. But, if you want a good story with some fairly decent effects, I think 9$Aii uou you'll be happy with this show. +Tax -MM-ME-a-MMM-Maoa^ Can Pla Men of Honor Director: Somebody a Starring Robert DeNiro, Cuba Gooding Jr., & Charleze Theron. C Rated: 14A by Piotr Filipek Entertainment Writer

rom the first time I saw Cuba Gooding Jr. in Gladiator (the boxing Everyday movie), I knew he was good. In Jerry Maguire he proved it again, and Fwon an Oscar for it. In Men of Honor Cuba plays Carl Benson, the US Navy's first African-American diver. The basic plot is Benson's struggle against a still racist Navy and a hard-ass from 7-Close diving instructor Billy Sunday (DeNiro). Unfortunately, the struggle-against- oppression story line is getting a little thin in the impact department. It's still an Maximum 6 per Table important issue, but it has just been done a lot lately. However, that does not take away from the film's impact. I found myself extremely drawn into the char­ Kxcluding Tuesdays. Located at acters. They were both deep and compelling. 324-5th St. S DeNiro and Gooding were amazing together. The supporting characters were also as compelling as the lead. This movie actually gets you riled up. Cuba Gooding should definitely get an Oscar nomination for his portrayal of Benson. An easy comparison can be made with this and last year's The Hurricane. If you liked The Hurricane you'll definitely like Men of Honor. entertainment The Meliorist, thursday november 16, 2000 - page 13 Research Assistant at the UofL on the Maury show

by Kim Morison That day they went out on a double-decker bus and were Entertainment Editor taking promo shots around the city with their hair blowing in the breeze. They went to Central Park for a video shoot, | Lnt. Ed. Note: It's not every day that you get to see a and afterwards they toured around the city, getting to see familiar face on national television, especially when the the houses of Madonna and Michael Jackson. After, they show is based out ofthe US. However, this is exactly what went out for a night on the town once again, but returned to happened on October lHth as I flipped through the chan­ their hotel room at a modest 1 am because they had to be at nels and somehow ended up watching the Maun- show. A the studio for taping on Monday at 7:30 am. young woman with a very familiar face graced the stage, The guests were seperated from their friends right away with beautiful long hair down to past her waist. The show and they had to try on 'normal' outfits that would highlight was about women (and one man) who had really long hair their hair. And after a quick briefing, it was show time. - (with one woman having big hair versus the long hair), and "As soon as the show came on, I was very nervous. It did­ their friends or family wanted to them to basically have a n't sink in that I was cutting my hair until I was right on makeover and cut their hair. All of their hair was donated stage," Kare commented. to an organization called 'Locksfor Love'and by the end After Maury spoke briefly with all of the guests. Richard ofthe show, each ofthe seven guests came out with a com­ Calcasola, the hairstylist, came onto the stage, put the pletely new look. The audience was told that the woman at guest's hair into a ponytail, and cut it off. Once the cam­ the beginning ofthe show was from Alberta, and using my eras were turned off the guests were whisked back stage for investigative techniques. I found out that she was indeed their makeover. Richard Calcasola then declared that from the University. After contacting Kerilee Nelson (or "nobody was going to cut her | Kerilee's] hair but him." He Kare as she is known), who is a research assistant in the was very careful with her hair, cutting a small piece and Neuroscience department, she was kind of enough to tell then analyzing her hair at many different angles before cut­ me all about her experience on the Maun show. | ting another piece. The agreement that he made with her was that if he cut her hair, he would get to take pictures of he whole experience began with Kare's friend, Sara her hair in exchange. He took two to three rolls of film. Mascarin, watching the Maury show one day and Her hair was the only hair that he cut and after he was Tseeing an ad looking for women with really long done, she was rushed to makeup and then they were back hair who needed a makeover. She phoned into the show on stage again. and told them about Kerilee's long hair and the show was After the show, Kare and Sara were called up into one of very interested in her story. On September 16th. 2000, the the offices upstairs. Apparently, in her excitement, Kare show called the Whishaw lab, looking for Kare, although had blurted out that now that she had short hair, she could asking for a Tara at first. After finally reaching Kare, the use expensive shampoo like Herbal Essence. show's representative, Jen, asked Kerilee to describe her Consequently, that day she signed a preliminary contract hair and tell any funny stories she had about her hair. She with Clairol, and they were going to look at her before and also wanted to see a picture of her hair, but since she was at after pictures before they decided whether they were going work, she had to go home, find a picture, and scan it in. to use her hair in one of their commercials. She will be The picture was before she had cut her hair in July, and at going back to New York over Christmas to meet with that lime, her hair had been a foot longer and all you could Clairol again, once her hair is a little bit longer. see were her eyes. The show called her back at about 5 For most guests, that was the last day of their trip, howev­ o'clock one afternoon a couple of weeks later and asked er, since the show could not book a flight back to Calgary her if she wanted to be on the show. for them until Tuesday, they put the girls up in a hotel Kare agreed, bul the only stipulation was that they had to called the Belvedere, which runs at about $250 per night in be down in New York the next day. The show also told her US dollars. They went out again that night, and the next that she could bring someone along, and since her husband day they were flown back to Calgary. had was going hunting that weekend, she asked her friend All of their expenses were paid for during this trip. Sara to accompany her down to the Big Apple. According to Kare, the show paid for their hotel, any cabs They took off from the Calgary airport at 6 am. flew to that they took and even gave them spending money for Chicago, and then continued on to New York City. Once food while they were there. In fact. Kare figured that they they arrived, there was a limo waiting for them and they bad spent at least $9 (XX) on just their expenses, comment­ were driven to the Parker Meridiem hotel. "We couldn't gel ing that "I took $63 US down with me and came back vv ith into the hotel because a lot of girls were at the front door. . . $31 extra." so we had to call the bell men and confirm that we had Maury himself was not the most pleasant person that day, reservations at the hotel," Kare recalled. Once they got telling his guests backstage that he did not gel pictures into the door, three guys came up lo them and asked them taken or sign autographs, although when Kare thanked him if it was their first time in New York. They said yes and for the trip afterward, he replied with "thanks for thanking continued on their way, only to find out later that the three me for the trip." This was definitely the trip ofa lifetime young gentlemen that they were talking to were actually for Kerilee. members of 98 Degrees. When asked if she had wanted to donate her hair before, After getting inlo their rooms. Kare and Sara went out for she said that there was girl named Theresa at the Tom a night on the town, visiting Tiffany's, different restaurants Baker Cancer centre at the Foothills hospital in Calgary and various sights around town. They received a phone who had always wanted long hair. Kare promised her that call in their room Saturday night instructing them to be when she gol better, she would give her hair, but two down in the lobby at 10 am and Kare bad to have her hair weeks before Kare cut it. the little girl had passed away. down. A bus met them the next morning and they met the After that, she knew (hat she wanted to do something with rest of the guests. In total, there were seven people getting her hair, and although she had had offers to sell it, she makeovers, plus their guests. They were whisked to the turned it down, know ing that she wanted lo donate il. The Maury studio where they got breakfast and the) were fitted Maury show offered the perfect opportunity to do so. for clothes. It's interesting to note that all of the clothes thai they tried on they gol to keep.

University of Lethbridge The Tombstone of killed. This 198S anima­ insight ink) Japanese his­ The Tombstone of Press release Hotaru is the tragic, yet tion illuminates the com­ tory and culture. We Japanese Hotaru heart-warming tale of two passion of the people of a hope that viewers vv ill Japanese he Consulate- World War II orphans. war torn country. gain a deeper understand­ film Animation, 1988 General of Japan The story focuses on fhe Consulate-General ing of Japan. Japanese with T is pleased to pre­ fourteen-year old Sella of Japan offers an open fhe show plays Sunday, presentation English subtitles sent the Japanese animat­ and bis four-year-old sis­ invitation to the public to November 19th, 2000 at ed film The Tombstone of ter Setsuko as they strug­ view this touching anima­ 1:45 pm at The Mov ie Length: Hotaru on November gle to survive after their tion. The Tombstone of Mill (1710 Mayor 88 minutes 19th. mother and father are Hotaru provides colourful Magrath Drive). page 14 - The Meliorist, thursday november 16, 2000 Sfudenfs' Union Hews

Federal Election Forum The Students' Union would like to thank everyone who made the on- CLUBS campus forum, hosted on Nov. 1 Oth, Remember that every Club needs to be an enjoyable event. ratified annually. If you haven't been ratified yet this year, please come to the Students' A special thank you to the Union office or call 329-2222 for more candidates for coming on campus information. and to Geoffrey Hale for a great job moderating. Do you want to join a Club? Search our Web THR VNIVHRSITY OF LF.THBRIIXJk site to find Clubs that are available on STUDENTS' UNION campus or call our VP Internal Affairs, Luke

Common questions asked by Find answers to your the Student body. Email us at [email protected] ifyou have more questions.

CKUL reps are currently meeting with/the President ofthe University and the When is 0KUL (the campus radio head of Physical Plant to discuss the option of putting a tower on top ofthe station) going to get if s broadcasting university. If things go well, they could have approval for a tower within a few tower so students can receive the months. If the University decides that they don't want another tower on the roof, radio station on FM? then CKUL will have to continue td searchfor affordable tower space. This is the last big step for CKUL. The end of CABLE FM is finally in sight. All the \ Student support possible would help CKUL out.

0°* Rick Bronson Comedian Nov. 22nd at 7 p.m. m

Sue Johanson, R.N. The Sex Lady November 23rd 12-2 p.m. Tickets On Sale Soon! Stay Tuned! Brought to you by the Students' Union and the U of L Health Centre The Meliorist, thursday november 16, 2000 - page 15 Spoils Pronghorns earn two points from Pandas by Chris Brown defender before Norsworthy Hipped it once again by the Valikoski-Herman- be. Both goalies stood tall and kept This is a great team that the 'Horns Spoils Editor in over a sprawled Pandas goalkeeper. Norsworthy line who again had the the game deadlocked at l-l through have this year and they are definitely The 'Homs held on for the rest ofthe majority of thc scoring chances but the third and through another exciting going to go to the playoffs and could n thc Remembrance Day period and took a 1-0 lead into thc sec­ were unable to capitalize on them. overtime. even go as far as nationals. The team weekend, the University of ond. Lesley Hodges scored early for the Courtney Butler took player ofthe has made great strides this year as they Lethbridge Pronghorns In the second, thc roles were reversed 'Horns, just over three minutes in. as game honors on Friday, stopping 26 of have gone undefeated against Calgary Ofaced a tough opponent as the number as the Pandas applied the pressure and she put it in on the second effort. the 27 shots that she faced, and Jodie and Alberta. Last year these games 2 ranked University of Alberta Pandas kept the 'Horns without a shot for the Tough forechecking from Hodges and Herman's performance on Saturday would have been lost causes five min­ came to town for a two game series. entire twenty minutes. Butler faced six Jodie Herman caused a turnover deep ninht got her the award for that game. utes in. Their I -0-3 record in the con­ The Pronghorns put their undefeated shots in this period but eventually the in the Alberta zone and a centering The 'Homs next action is the 24m ference hasn't got them a national record on the line against a UofA team shutout bid was broken. The Pandas pass found its way to Hodges' stick. and 25th as they travel to the UofA to ranking yet. but the strong perfor­ that had lost just one of eight games so pressure got to Lethbridge for a second The 'Homs had some good chances at resume what is shaping up to be a mances against the number 2 ranked far this season. The women's hockey and they were caught running around increasing their lead and also had some great rivalry. The next home action Pandas should grab some attention. team performed admirably in what was in front of Butler. Jody Grabas was close calls for allowing Alberta to tie it. isn't until January I21" and 13 - when Go out and see the next game you can. their opening weekend at home, taking left alone in front and put an easy one but were able to hold on going into the they play thc UBC Thunderbirds. I promise you will not be disappointed. l-l ties in both Friday's and Saturday's past Butler who had no chance al it. second. games. This weekend they served The Pronghorns got ihe offense back Being badly outplayed right notice to the Canada West conference on track in the third and the Pandas from the start of the period the and the rest ofthe CIAU that this is a kept it coming, providing for a great Pronghorns were lucky to hold far different team than last year's. The third period of action in which the onto their lead for as long as UofL Pronghorns are here to play, and teams traded great scoring opportuni­ they did. They killed off a cou­ you will never get an easy two points ties on lots of end-to-end action. ple of penalties but were unable from them. Butler continued her strong play, stop­ to do it on the final one as The 'Horns caught the Pandas by sur­ ping all fifteen shots she faced, espe­ Alberta's Krysty Lorenz put her prise early and were able to use good cially late when Alberta was going for own rebound past Butler, who puck pressure to limit their opponents the kill. The 'Horns top line of was having another incredible lo just three shots in the opening peri­ Valikoski-Herman-Norsworthy had game. The powerplay came od, compared to seven for the home- many chances, along with Joline after Hodges laid down a big hit side. All three ofthe Pandas shots Tappen and .Jeanette Tymofichuk. on an Alberta player, and since required tough saves from goalie but unfortunately no one was able to body checking is not allowed in Courtney Butler, without whom the capitalize. The game went into over­ women's hockey Hodges got to I IDI ns could have found themselves time and the scoring chances were sit for two minutes and Lorenz trailing early. Eventually, the trailed once again, but still neither (cam capitalized. In thc third. Pronghorns tight forechecking paid off was able to break the deadlock and the Lethbridge came out and domi­ as Kate Valikoski created a turnover game finished in a l-l tie. nated looking for the goal that and centered the puck in front to where In Saturday's rematch the game again would give them the win over Jodie Merman and Kelsey went to overtime and the outcome was Alberta, but despite outshooting Norsworthy fought with an Alberta the same. The Pronghorns were led the Pandas 11-5 il was not to

CFCN TOYOl

: ty I v .it I il.j - •>•

Due West Student Painting currently rermites Managers for Slimmer 2001. Managers receive quality 77^ training and support. Above average earnings of %fc,000 t o $20,000 and invaluable management Chinook Auto Radng experience.

Nascar Atlanta Party Last Race of the Season Sunday, November 19th

I you're looking for a way to spend your Sunday morning that doesn't involve being in I church, the Chinook Auto Racing Association (CARA) has just the thing for you. CARA will be running its last race of the season party this Sunday al the Royal Canadian CALL: Legion on Mayor Magrath Drive South (across from the waler tower). Members of CARA will be allowed free admittance while non-members will be charged $6. Lunch will be pro­ vided by CARA. Doors open al 9:30am and the races will start at 11:00am. Children wel­ 1-800-585-8666 Today come, everyone's welcome, this will be a great big day of family fun. page 16 - The Meliorist, thursday november 16, 2000 sports

^ _ i BASKETBALL, Men CANADA WEST G w L F A P Alberta 4 3 1 348 292 6 Victoria 4 3 1 336 304 6 Simon Fraser 4 2 2 315 296 4 Calgary 4 2 2 353 355 4 Lethbridge 4 2 2 255 304 2 CIAU/USIC HOCKEY (F) TOP TEN - Nov 6/00 Trinity Western 4 2 2 293 301 4 Saskatchewan 4 1 3 310 333 2 British Columbia 4 1 3 315 323 2 GREAT PLAINS Rank Team Brandon 4 4 0 359 328 8 Winnipeg 2 1 1 142 144 2 I Toronto Manitoba 2 1 1 144 151 2 2 Alberta Regina 4 1 3 341 380 2 BASKETBALL., Women 3 Concordia CANADA WEST G W L F A P 4 Regina Calgary 4 4 O 348 245 8 Simon Fraser 4 4 O 311 220 8 5 Guelph Victoria 4 2 2 304 230 4 Alberta 4 2 2 282 243 4 6 McGill Saskatchewan 4 2 2 255 249 4 British Columbia 4 1 3 278 297 2 7 Laurier Lethbridge 4 0 4 146 296 0 Trinity Western 4 0 4 202 359 0 8 StFX GREAT PLAINS 9 Manitoba Regina 4 4 0 327 290 8 Manitoba 3 3 0 236 154 6 10 Calgary Winnipeg 3 1 2 196 201 2 Brandon 4 0 4 229 330 0

HOCKEY, Women Others receiving votes: Saskatchewan 1), Ottawa (2) G W L T F A Pet Alberta 8 7 1 0 39 8 875 Lethbridge 2 1 0 1 6 2 750 Regina 4 3 1 0 21 8 750 British Columbia 4 1 3 0 7 15 250 CIAU/USIC HOCKEY (M) TOP TEN Nov 6/00 Calgary 6 1 4 1 9 32 250 Manitoba 0 0 0 0 0 0 000 Saskatchewan 4 0 4 0 4 21 000 xBrandon (1-2-0) O 0 0 0 O 0 Rank TEAM xWinnipeg (0-3-0 0 0 O O O 0 x — club teams, overall records in parenthesis 1. Alberta HOCKEY, Men 2. Trois-Rivieres EAST DIVISION G w L T F A P Manitoba 8 5 2 1 34 22 11 3. St. Francis Xavier Saskatchewan 7 3 2 2 25 28 8 Regina 8 1 6 1 30 35 3 4. Manitoba Brandon 8 1 6 1 22 45 3 WEST DIVISION 5. Western Ontario Alberta 7 5 0 2 31 17 12 Calgary 8 5 2 1 40 24 11 6. St. Thomas Lethbridge 8 4 1 3 27 21 11 7. Lethbridge British Columbia 8 1 6 1 20 37 3 8. Calgary 9. Saskatchewan 10. Dalhousie Athi Other teams receiving votes: York (7), McGill (5) fnie we

University of Lethbridge Pronghorns picked up a pair of vital points against the #2 Press Release ranked and defending national champion Pandas. Courtney stopped 27 shots on Friday and turned aside 29 he athletic department at the University of on Saturday. Lethbridge has named Courtney Butler of the TWomen's hockey team as this week's Athlete of Other Nominees: the Week. Butler had an outstanding performance a.s the Men's hockey Jeff Neufeld "Horns picked up a pair of l-l ties with the Alberta Women's basketba Jamie Tschritter HEALING Pandas. Butler made some incredible saves as the Men's basketball Jason Harrison collection 2000

Hats fur Healing is a non-profit group looking for donations of great new and U6ed hats, turbans and scarves to be given to cancer patients of all ages who have suffered the loss of their hair, due to chemotherapy treatments SUPPORT HATS FOR HEALING! Copy Editor Mary Greenshields UofL Pronghorns Vs U of C Dinos is elated as pay-day November 17, 2000. Game time 7:00 pm at the Meliorist is here once again. Donate a good new or used hat and receive a DISCOUNT on your ticket price for the game Good job Mary!!!

Hat donations will go to the Canadian Cancer Society and the Cancer Center at the Lethbridge Regional Hospital

\she Later explained the feeling she had every time she put OM ofthe hats..it

wasn't that they Hid the effects of the cancer, rather she felt the overwhelming I'll, .lul iy Roll I iii|H-k support and love front, the people who so leindly donated thervt.* sports The Meliorist, thursday november 16, 2000 - page 17 Maximum fun by Bruce Duguay Auto Columnist

re you one of those people who thinks that four doors can't be fun? Read on and vou will have Ato change your ways my friends. What happens when it's time for four or five people to go out on the town and the old Porsche only seats two'.' II you want some­ thing roomy and comfortable but that just has to have that sporty edge to it. there is only one mid-size car out there that can hack it. Not the Ford Taurus (rental car favorite), not the Honda Accord (no personality whatsoever) and not the Camry (a little loo cushy). We're talking about the 2001 Nissan Maxima. Nissan calls its flagship automobile a four- door sports car and this would be an accurate depiction of the car's abilities. I could end the column right here with that statement but I'm the kind of guy who will go on and on about a really nice car. The Maxima lineup is comprised of the starter GXE model which is host to countless standard goodies. Move up to the SE for a true sports sedan, and the top of the heap GLE that is so loaded it makes me wonder win Infiniti even produces the pricier \M) (essentially a re-badged Maxima GLE). For this test I zeroed in on the enthusiast-oriented SE which includes such performance enhancements as sex - enteen-inch wheels and tires, a sports suspension setup, leather seats and an optional five speed manual trans­ mission. Just a note about the transmission; most Maxima's are sold with the four speed automatic, and Norm Struth, sales manager at Lethbridge Nissan, tells me that the five speed is bard to come by. Among the long list of standard features are electronic climate con­ trol, power windows, locks, and seats, a moonroof, and an absolutely phenomenal 200watt Bose audio system. Inside, the Maxima will transport you and up to four other friends in comfort that is st) stylish (meaning not like a Buick) that you might Saturday, November 18th forget you're in a four door. On the outside, the car is a nice blend of Pajama Party!!! curves and ovals that create a contemporary look. With the SE's Come in & check out aforementioned seventeen inch wheels, the Maxima looks ready to do battle with lesser sports cars. The leather front bucket seats will our drink specials warm your behind on a cold day and the white faced gauges let you find whal information you need without taking your eyes completely off the road. The rear seats are positively cavernous (I almost got lost). The key to bringing the Maxima's personality together, and the com­ j Daily Specials ponent that sets it apart from other so called "sports" models, is its 3.0 litre V6 engine. The Maxima V6 has been hailed a.s being one of Monday: 5 p.m. - 1 a.m. $.25 Wings the best engines currently in production. In terms of power, nothing can compete with this vehicle. Two hundred and twenty-two horse­ WWT ^.e)^ Speaking of clubs, the Maxima's trunk can handle plenty of them, fYS A Coup- The mechanics of golf are such that you shape in order to be prepared for the rig­ want to address the ball with strong tech­ ors of walking the course, the possibility nique to prevent low back ailments of facing precarious weather conditions brought upon by the torque or twisting and for the mental demands of being con­ action of the golf swing. fronted with on-going shot considera­ Core strength and flexibility are integral tions."

Parttf Saturday, November 18th M m- Free Hawaiian Lels At The Door ^ Bikini Waitress's f& $00 Sex On The Beach Shooters tfb Chance To Win TRAGICALLY HP Tickets Jjfe Dress In Beach Attire To WIN CASH jffe, Prizes From Oasis Tanning Studio 9B> Prizes From Ryan at Peter & Clarke's Hair Company Jfb- Gift Certificates From Mary Kay Cosmetics - Myrna Kurina .fjfe. Prizes From Too Hp For You fjfc. Prizes From Piece Of Mind Tattooing CASH PRIZK FOR ^BEST BIKINI BEST BUFF DUDE CADILLAC THE FUN STARTS « 8:00PM DOWNTOWN ON 6TH STREET «*•»• -*• M^**** -* sports The Meliorist, thursday november 16, 2000 - page 19 Dr. Pinball honoured by York By Rob Aspin . Excalibur night before. knowledgeable about athletics, but the more I read CUP A graduate of the College of William and Mary in the about him. the more I realized [he is a| real role United States. Clemons was signed by the Argonauts model." TORONTO- as a free agent in 1989 following graduation. He has Now head coach of the Argos, Pinball is fully aware been a member of the team since then, first as a player ofthe struggles student athletes face on a daily basis. lor 11 years and now a.s rookie head coach. As a former college athlete, he knows that managing "The first thing is there is a little bit of reservation." classes, practices and travelling to games takes a groat t is not the size of the man that matters, but said Clemons about receiving the degree. "I don't deal of effort. the size of his heart. know if I'm worthy of such a distinguished award. "I will say to all the students to work hard, stay com­ People have told mc that 'Hey, you do deserve this,' mitted to your efforts and never give up," said At York University's convocation on Oct. 28. the and I still find it a little hard to believe. Right now. it's Clemons, but he reminded students of another impor­ school awarded Canadian Football League hero almost shocking." tant thing a.s well. Michael (Pinball) Clemons with an honorary Doctor of At just five feet six inches tall. Clemons is a perfect "Make sure you have balance in your life. So many Law degree for his commitment to ihe city of Toronto example of a man whose heart is larger than his times we strive for great position, but we don't have and the example he has set for young football players stature. During his time with the Argos. he has been great disposition. I think our life is measured by the across tbe nation. involved in such charily organizations as the United people that we affect in a positive way. not how much Prior to convocation, a breakfast was held in Way and the Boys and Girls Club. money we make or what car we drive." demons' name. With university officials and York's York president Lorna Marsden felt Clemons was a With his honourary degree in hand, Clemons left football team in attendance. Pinball presented himself solid choice for the degree despite her unfamiliarity prior to the completion of convocation to catch a plane in his usual upbeat manor, despite the fact his Toronto with the football star. "I have to confess that I didn't to Montreal for the Amos' final same of the season. Argonauts had been eliminated from the playoffs the know about him at all," said Marsden. "I am not IZTS

For Rent: 5 min. to the U, bus stop ing" binge. This time it's forever, cuz i To Rico. Chilin: Um...Guys...Am I the Trashmonger (Leo), start coming to across the street. Phone, util.. cable. Sex In Public Places Society can't afford the stuff anymore. The only one who remembers the cup'.' Are class you turdmill. I'm sick of you call­ W/D incl. 381-4468. Bod we ever gonna do that'.' Badass ing me for the assignments all the time. Anyone interested in RPG's. New Darrel Wanted: someone to sew a blouse for group in Town. E-mail: Dylorama, would you please jam with Panties, my taco and I are so proud of Christmas Cab (Nov. 18) Must be com­ lcthhridgcrpg (ghotmail.com rod'.' That's his second most popular you for buying a house. Please Please l.eo. stop ditching me you assnut. I'll fortable working with sheer fabric bitching topic. Can you guess what Please save a place for me in 17 give you such a smack. Besides. Mike Call 394-2259 Happy belated Birthday Sweet Pea. number one is? Disco Stu(d) months. Buttercup keeps asking where the fuck you are. Love your Fiance Badass They can sing, they can dance, how Cpt. Morgan, why the hell don't you RtB. Chilin, Leo: Unfortunatly. there about 2 kareokee Halloween Britney's Dino. Joel. Fuck off with your stupid write me any TLF's or even emails for will be no emporer. and probably no Another one for Chilin. If you don't down your pants? boob contest. I know your joking that matter'.' Prick (finger sweeping by king either. Maybe I can be Sir save me a place next year, just be around, but enough is enough. Show your face)! Badass Badass'.' ready for a royal asskicking. All the Stalkers are cool! Everyone should some class & respect to the ladies. - while I'll be calling you names like secretly have one watching them! Or The Angry Latino Ricki. I don't think Dene would mind I know this message is a little late, but assnul and turdlick. Pipes. just call the guy that called 3 times if we stole his car. Let's catch a The Tea Party came out with their over the entire weekend one and make D.H.- when u buy your guitar the first Flames-Oilers game and watch the greatest hits record on Nov. 14. [f you This is to announce the engagement of him your personal stalker! simg u should learn is "MoWE" that, Flames kick their cocksmoking asses. have any sense you'll iio out and pick Daniel N. and Shannon McS. No date and maybe Miserable. Something real­ Buttercup it up today. has been set for the wedding. Hey Westside Vixens... You better ly easy so u. Dyl. and I can all jam in worry about the Northside Vixens that my room. - RlB are gonna fuck you up. They are dirti­ er, drink straight wiskey. and are still Joel, the U Vic slut was all mine! belter looking! NSG-4-Lile! Everyone knows drunk chicks think I'm cute. If humans and dolphins are the only species that make love for pleasure, Hi. My name is Joel K. I enjoy can­ how much pleasure could you get from dlelit dinners, football games, being making love to a dolphin? Slippery used for sex. and wrecking homes. when wet? I'd do one... Anyone else interested'.'

Brucie D. remember the moral of the Hey Death... ever grab hold ofa real story...You don't need a BMW io pick BIG hammer? What the hell! Grab 2! up chicks when you're hung like a Students Pay horse! The secret's out. now we know Dino. I would like to publicly apolo­ why you love those BMW's! gize for the previous tlf i wrote. I had No GST no idea it was just Joel. As for Joel.... Hey Brucie D... when it comes to hav­ get a life. Again, Dino i'm sorry. - all the time ing cars that impress chicks, all I need Angry Latino is a Pinto! S>a [Allyou need is a miracle...! Disco Stuid). where the hell did i go !•«_$// wrong. I though! my girl cared about Cheers to the Rent-a-Cops who threw me..guess not. Your right, nice guys do my beer out. A guj from the Northside finish last. Maybe i should have listen can't even enjoy a Pilsner.' Ridiculous. in u sooner - Rico c7\ loci. I was gonna keep the beer but he l )\ lan, congrats on your house thai u When you show your threatened me with his flashlight! bought. We gotta celebrate and gel drunk as hell.now thai i started drink­ ID Card and lb the Westside Vixens... The email ing again.Can u hear the Gibbies call you sent me begging lor an apolog) our names?- Rodrigo buy 2 pita's and 2 drinks, due to the comments staled in pre\ ious weeks never got to me. Email me al Single male seeks double-jointed you get the 2nd pita |.miak(" uleth.ca - Lu\ Me XO supermodel who owns a brewer) and grows her own pot. Access lo tree con for only $2.50 To the 2610 Computer Science class cert tickets a plus, as is ha\ ing an open that meets M/W/F in E790: We are minded twin sister' ha\ ing to pick up your drinks, paper, Chilin. Badass I'm SOIT) guys. This 520-4th Avenue South 394-3394 and garbage after your class, i ise the latino has reinstated his "non- drink­ garbage cans. page 20 - The Meliorist, thursday november 16, 2000

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