LUX • VERITAS • LARDUM

RITES OF PASSAGE GATE/BIRTH EDITION MONDAY AUGUST 29, 2011 VOLUME VII, NUMBER I 1:30 @ CENTER CAMP WWW.BLACKROCKBEACON.ORG WELCOME TO NOWHERE By Suzanne You might have a life-changing ex- the playa. It’s also one of our favorite example, pants prevent shirtcocking. Have a Good Week! I’ve heard rumors that this is going perience here. You might bring with topics. If someone did a word search Wearing pants also helps you avoid I have to confess that ever since to be the year Burning Man jumps the you a bunch of expectations and not of the Beacon archives, the word “ba- what our publisher refers to as “juic- the Black Rock Beacon was founded shark. have any of them met and still have con” would probably appear at least ing the furniture,” which is a nice in 2005, I have wanted to do a “Ba- But I think it’s pretty unlikely. First the time of your life. You’ll as often as “the” or thing to do for whoever is going to sit con and Pants” edition. It’s probably of all, the Man may have agreed to probably see some mind- Two important topics: “and.” It’s suppos- in that chair after you get up. never going to happen, but being able stand up for an entire week with his blowing art that you never Bacon and pants edly easy to cook, to write an article about both subjects legs spread wide — OUCH!!! — but imagined anyone could cre- easy to smell, easy is a close second. Thank you for there’s no indication that he’s going ate. You might discover that you love to eat, and easy to share. As a vegetar- reading, and may you also do to be able to actually jump. I’m pretty bacon even though you’re a vegetarian ian, I personally prefer string cheese something you’ve always sure that if he could jump, he’d jump (it hasn’t happened to me, but maybe and sour cream and onion Pringles, wanted to achieve. off his pedestal and run away and it will happen to you). but I was outnumbered. avoid his scheduled date with a lit As for pants, they serve match on Saturday night. Bacon and Pants many purposes. For And even if he didn’t want to avoid And that brings up a couple things becoming a big pile of ashes, if I was missing from the Survival Guide. They the Man, I’d rather jump over a duck mention the importance of things like or a rabbit or a giant shopping cart drinking enough water, leaving no than a shark. But maybe that’s just me. trace, keeping garbage out of the por- ta potties, and using sunscreen. They Expectations fail to mention two important topics: On the other hand, this is Burning Bacon and pants. Man, and you never know what could According to almost the entire Bea- happen out in the middle of Nowhere. con staff, bacon is the best food on

While You Were Out illustration by Theatremuse By Mitch It’s been a busy 50-plus weeks of hibernation. Here’s some stuff that’s been happening while you were away: The Burning Man Project. You probably thought Burning Man was the Burning Man project, perhaps because the Burningman.com website used to say so. No more. The Burning Man Project, an offshoot of the Black Rock Arts Foundation, itself an offshoot of the Burning Man project (with Know Your Rites: A Week of Life a lower-case “p”), is a not-for-profit corporation meant to spiff up the San Francisco Tenderloin area around its headquarters and eventually to take By Durgy that (hopefully) we all went through. double rainbows and perfectly fried over what used to be called the Burning Man project, including the Black Throughout life there are personal Who among us can recall that event? bacon. But I expect one will need to Rock City event. It was launched Aug. 6. rites of passage, others’ rites of pas- Parents remember it as a day of free- take the good with the bad. The key here is that the Project with a capital “P” is a not-for-profit, while sage that you attend, and shared rites dom from changing diapers. There will be the current purveyor of Black Rock City is a limited liability corporation of passage. In the one week of Black The parents among us re- BRC offers many weddings signaling owned by six Black Rock luminaries who are planning to cash out after de- Rock City, 50,000 people will experi- member the joy when their a new life for two cades of nurturing the event. The exact timing and method of the transfer ence and re-experience many of these offspring could voice the re- opportunities to live committed people. is either unknown or they’re not telling, but it won’t happen imminently. The in microcosm. quest to ``go potty.’’ In BRC rites of passage. Since 50,000 peo- six LLC directors are also on the 17-member Project board. we descend into the blue loos ple times one week In a perhaps related development, the Burning Man payroll ballooned last First Rite and relive this rite of passage, perhaps is about 961 years, statistically there year, rising 155 percent, to $7.3 million. There wasn’t a binge of hiring, and The earliest rites do not carry any pining for the good ol’ days when we might be death and there will certainly although the population rose to a record 51,525 last year, that was only an cognizant memory, but echo through- could just poop in our pants and have be the immolation and spectacular de- 18 percent increase, so there wasn’t an obvious need to double the staff. It out our lives. Conception, when egg someone else clean up the mess. mise of the Burning Man. When the seems fair that if the board members are going to cash out, the rest of the met sperm to make zygote, was your Temple burns we have the reflective crew should at least get something, and they did get 401(k)s and bonuses first rite of passage as the chromo- Your Experience funeral as a rite of passage to remem- after a pretty fantabulous year. somes matched up and you were off Over the years there were the con- ber those that are gone but also to re- The overall budget for 2010 was $18.0 million, and divided by the popula- to the cell-splitting races. Conception fessions, the confirmations, the com- new and support the collective spirit tion, the cost of providing Burning Man was $349 per attendee. It had held is also a rite that our parents were go- munions, the bar mitzvahs, the merit of those that remain. steady around $280 for ing through at the badges, the proms, the graduations. BRC offers many opportunities to the three previous years. time, but from a We lived some of these rituals as the live and re-live the rites of passage The financial data different, creative culminations of commitments that that got you here, and await you in the comes from the annual angle. we personally made to see a project future. Take them as they come and Though some through to completion. We were ob- figures posted on the bring your best. Mazal tov! (old) Burning Man web- babies may get servers at others and consequently ate site and can be taken made this week, a big celebratory meal. Some of these with a grain or two of coming through rites of passage are reflected in the salt in either direction. the Gate is also events that our fellow citizens pose as The Rites Stuff an analgous mo- Ticket Snafu #1. The first day of on-line ticket sales, Jan. 19, was pretty group events in BRC. Participate fully Rites of passage generally break ment of conception into life at BRC much a horror show. The site crashed, people got thrown out of line, people in these as you find them to enrich down into five categories — birth, for each of us; we need to have our got told they were thrown out but weren’t, etc. your experience and the experience of coming of age, marriage and put- chromosomes lined up. Ticket, food, Will Chase, editor of the Bmorg’s Burning Blog website, wrote, “The an- those around you. ting down roots, seniority, and the water and shelter formed those essen- nual ritual and excitement for opening day of tickets was matched with an last rites — and they reflect what tial building blocks for life, and maybe Double Rainbows equally overwhelming feeling of frustration at the ticket sales process.’’ In is important to a culture. We’re go- you have some enhancements in your Some unplanned and sometimes Ticketing, the vendor (and an organization run by Burners), fessed up that ing to cram those into a week of BRC gene pool (art projects, fabu- unwanted rites of passage crept into “some information given during the course of the day may have been incorrect.’’ Beacons. lous adornments). After the pregnant our lives: Schoolyard fights, going to Last year was better, and they promise next year will be too. Black Rock City’s birth, at least pause of the Gate road, you rolled past jail, miscarriages, broken bones, get- Ticket Snafu #2. Burning Man sold out. Despite, or perhaps as a result according to its own legends, oc- Greeters (and maybe around ting fired and so of, the mad rush for first-day tickets, there’s a big if metaphorical No Vacan- curred when the first Burners on the Playa) and were born A slap on the butt many other events cies sign on Black Rock City this year. Working with a 50,000 population cap, crossed a line drawn in the sand into this strange new world that shaped who mandated by the federal Bureau of Land Management permit, the Bmorg or a ring of the bell at the entrance to the Playa in with a slap on the butt or a we are today. Since stopped ticket sales late in July. They’re not saying exactly how many were 1990. They were told that once ring of a bell. After taking some baby it didn’t kill you, it made you stronger sold, but the issue was touchy this year because the BLM permit was only for they passed it, “Everything will be steps to set up camp, it became time to or maybe a bit bitter, but otherwise 2011, not the usual five-year agreement, and the hope is that the population different.” wander and explore. helped mold the modern you. Ah, if Following in those footsteps, Potty training was a rite of passage BRC could be a week full only with continued on back page when you passed through the Gate, it was as if you were born Greetings Burners! The Black Rock Beacon is pleased to bring you the seventh annual installment of Black Rock City’s saltiest independent newspaper. After again in the middle of Nowhere today’s issue, we’re aiming to publish on Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday. ❡ Wanna help out? Drop by any morning this week for our 10:30 a.m. meetings, to a new and different Black Rock where we chew the fat and dole out assignments. We’re looking for writers, editors, layout folks, insomniac press operators, photographers, and schwag-happy City and a new and different you. delivery people. ❡ Find us at 1:30 on the Inner Circle of Center Camp. ❡ Lux. Veritas. Lardum. Question of the Day: Was it better last PORKTOID: “Barbecue” originated with French- year? • Bring answers to the Black Rock speaking pirates, who called their pork feast “de barbe et queue,” meaning, “from beard to tail.” The hog is a Beacon City Desk, 1:30@Center Camp Black Rock Bee acon versatile beast that can be consumed head to toe.

Sparkes told CNN, “The only concerns we have Evening of Empire: Town Vanishes Into Sand is power and water is supplied from the plant. If they shut that off we will have some serious By Rockstar as extras “the queer- hurdles to overcome.” There are few things bleaker than the realiza- est looking specimens I Calls to USG’s public relations department tion that the Gilded Age custom of the company have ever encountered,” went unreturned, but a comment from the Burn- town survived into the 21st century at all. For consisting of “moun- ing Man organization casts serious doubt on any

Burners, one will be the short stretch of High- taineers, cowboys, Indi- photo by Theatremuse incipient plans to remake the ghost town as a way 447 past the slow-rotting carcass of the last ans, trappers and ranch- year-round Burner resort: “USG has no interest company town in America. USG Corp., formerly ers of every description” in having anybody else on its property,’’ accord- U.S. Gypsum, faced with a housing market flat- who “not only looked ing to Marian Goodell, the Burning Man director tened for the discernible future, padlocked the and acted their part, they of business and communications. She said the pint-sized hamlet of Empire, Nevada, this sum- were the part.” town is essentially a mining site. “From what we mer after laying off close to 300 workers at the One of the first epic- understand, it costs more to shut down and clean local gypsum plant on Jan. 31. length westerns, Barbara up a site like that than to leave it on idle.’’ Worth was a box office The Burning Man organization has not contact- Federal Toe Tag bonanza and the Em- Now more than ever. The Empire store, circa 2003. ed USG about potential Burner use of the town. As far as the post office and national media pire-Gerlach area reveled Still, there might be a silver lining for Black were concerned, Empire ceased to exist on June in the brief influx of cash from the big-spending leaving holdouts like Tammy Sparkes, owner and Rock City in the zombification of Empire. Burn- 20, when its 89405 Zip Code was discontinued, movie folk. proprietor of the Empire General Store. ing Man has become an increasingly important lending the town’s defunct status the dignity of Of far greater commercial import was the economic and cultural force in Northern Nevada a federal toe tag. Except as a wide spot on the post-WW II housing boom. A nation ideologi- 60 Years as its population grows, especially in Washoe road to Burning Man, the place is now one more cally committed to an “American Dream” of Sparkes is confident “Burning Man will keep County, where Gerlach, Nixon, Wadsworth, and unincorporated speck and a distant tombstone every citizen owning a house made Empire a vi- the store open” and many Burners are doubtless Reno, as well as Empire, lie. The annual event’s of some other era. able proposition, and Sheetrock seemed a safe willing to spend the last cash they touch over the continued success and the revenue it brings can Grass, as a minor poet named Sandburg not- bet to ride out even the worst economic times. long week there, grabbing sundries and marvel- help cushion the loss of the town’s consumers ed, covers all, but there’s damned little of that. Unhappily, thanks to last decade’s astonishing ing at the prehistoric gas pump. In business 60 on spending, giving the Bmorg some added clout Settled in 1923 by miners working a claim filed mutations in banking practices, an inevitable real years, “the store is open and will remain open,” with the locals. by a Portland concrete company, Empire was a estate slump leveraged itself into a Great Reces- little more than a familiarly dusty ramshackle be- sion that shows little sign of receding. Now, most Rod Garrett, the designer BRAINTEASERS BY DURGY fore USG bought the place in 1948. of the residents have left to finds work elsewhere, of Black Rock City, passed 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Parenthetically, the Black Rock desert itself away on Aug. 22. The Burn- was then best known to the general public as the ing Man website described 9 10 location for the hit movie version of Harold Bell him as “a courteous, soft- Wright’s durably dreadful bestseller “The Win- spoken, and deliberate man 11 12 13 14 ning of Barbara Worth.’’ Filmed in and around whose manners mask a light- 15 16 Gerlach and released in 1926, the shoot knew as ning apprehension.’’ Along much hardship as any Burn — complete with in- with the ever-evolving city 17 18 19 20 juries, dust storms, Prohibition agents and drug plan, he designed the Cafe 21 22 photo by veo_, courtesy of flickr freakouts — but the production left a temporary and every base of the Man 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 economic stimulus. A visiting writer from Mo- since 1997. The road encir- tion Picture Magazine found the locals hired The processing plant in Empire has ground to a halt. cling Center Camp this year 30 31 32 33 will be named “Rod’s Road’’ in his honor. 34 35 36 37 Burners who knew Rod I have been asked I was once fairly normal, but repeated 38 39 by management to crawl exposure to the soul-warping experience and wish to share memories 40 41 42 43 44 45 out from under my that is The Event, has rendered me unfit for are invited to visit the Bea-

rock, and introduce my- life in the general population. I would like con (Center Camp and 1:30) 46 47 48 self. To that end, you may to offer my thanks, to everyone who helped. on Monday to contribute to call me Zaius. My keep- Back in the hippy days, we dropped all an article appreciating his 49 50 that LSD stuff to “mess with our sense of ers do. I weigh about 300 unique contributions. 51 pounds, am covered in a filthy mat of or- reality.” It didn’t really work. ange fur, and hold a well founded distrust I’ll tell you what does. In Black Rock 52 of all humanity. City, there are 50,000 people, who seem to I live in a place so remote, that English have no goal in life, except to mess with TheBlackRockGazette 10 Years Ago Across is still viewed as the Language of the Oc- your sense of reality. Some of those peo- 1A Takecro a rompingss romp to the educational building up the hill for the big dance (10,4) cupier. I make a living ranching animals ple are really good at the task. I’ve been 91 PairTake of a teens romping kept rompout of tothe the teepee by a swordthe (4) first half of the record, stone cold sober (well, as close as I ever 11 Fighteducational about the building bedroom up piercing the tool (5) upon which to build (5) thought by many, to be mythical. Naugas, Monday, August 27 13 Backer of a rugrat on a bender (9) mostly. But, we do have some sparkle ponies get), and seen things that would make M.C. 15 Ithill sounds for the like big verbal dance reproaches (10,4) for alcohol51 (5) The glue unglued on the sled (4) “Welcome to nowHERE’’ ex- 9 Pair of teens kept out of the 52 Father ºs wise to stay that corral up behind the barn, in an old, Escher scratch his head. plained why the first two years 16 Sets backwards in the West and cooks (5) Your assignment this week is to find a 17 Nastyteepee song by containsa sword bit(4) about Iron Mike (5) behind fires to perform long abandoned Jesuit Discothèque. on the Playa, 1990 and 1991, 19 The ditch before Theodore took out the stone (6) way to mess with someone’s head. It doesn’t 11 Fight about the bedroom growth rituals (5,2,7) About the only time I leave the pleasant were better: fewer Burners. 21 Redpiercing eyes toolgo away (5) with bread ingredient (3,4) confines of my open-air asylum, is when need to be mean spirited, but it should be 23 Preserve the South avenue (4) Degala offered a lyrical look 2513 TheBacker pear of with a rugratthe top on trimmed a bender and a(9) piece of corn (3) I go to Burning Man. I’ve been going to deeply confusing. After all, reality is an Down at “The Seven Ages,’’ mentally 2615 MessedIt sounds up liketraits verbal of the creative type (6) the festival since somewhere in the Clinton agreed-upon concept, and if you ever want- 30 Shereproaches has some for meringue alcohol (4) (5) 1 Bath I took out of the ed to disagree, now is probably the time. undertaking the seven-part jour- 31 In the extremes of crisis the center of the comet arrives (5) administration. 3316 TheSets speed backwards at which in a thetear would start (4) regular way (5) ney required to complete a game 34 AleWest Ben and is wrong cooks to (5) promote (6) 2 Grasps and then brags linked to the year’s theme. 3617 NoNasty time songto tire contains and anger bit (3) wantonly (5) While you were out about Iron Mike (5) 3 Saloon without love might as continued from front Tuesday, August 28 19 The ditch before Theodore well be the hairdressers! (5) 38 percent, to $328,000, and the new outfit is A mini-Gazette, 8½ x 11", invit- took out the stone (6) 4 Big hug before the start 21 Red eyes go away with of the event (4) will grow to 70,000 or so in future years if an charging $290,000, according to Silver Pinyon ed citizens to write their own lead accord can be worked out. Journal, a news website for Humboldt County, bread ingredient (3,4) 5 At the Oklahoma spa I stories. [Editor’s note: the com- 23 Preserve the South avenue (4) rediscovered giraffe relatives (6) There was an expectable spike in after-market which is north of the Playa. It’s not clear how puter kiosk at the Gazette camp much of last year’s figure went to Remsa. 25 The pear with the top trimmed 6 Let Ed lead tracker to ticket prices among the unprepared. It seems where this was supposed to be ac- and a piece of corn (3) temporary housing (6,7) that there has been a strategy among some Cash factors aside, Remsa is the main am- complished didn’t work so good. 26 Messed up traits of the 7 Chose to dismantle the depot (5) Burners of not buying from the Bmorg and bulance service for the Reno area, though it The Devil’s in the dust tales.] creative type (6) 8 Same owner sees the cat cry (4) 30 She has some meringue (4) 10 Irish spoken by the instead waiting until the last minute, hoping to serves all of northern Nevada and part of “Amazing Larry’s Cube Club’’ get a price below face value from a seller whose California. Humboldt General is more rural 31 In the extremes of crisis the confused seer (4) by sometime novelist Rick Boy center of the comet arrives (5) 12 Now let one balk agitatedly ticket would otherwise soon be worthless. in nature (in fact, the peak population of was a Sweet Playa Surprise: “The Black Rock City is nearly three times that 33 The speed at which a about the cover (6,7) Bet that doesn’t happen next year. Best Little Jazz Club on The Pla- tear would start (4) 14 Flower even when it ºs Easter Empire Strikes Out. Okay, other than may- of Humboldt’s 2009 U.S. Census tally of ya’’ with the loosest slots was way 34 Ale Ben is wrong to promote (6) and losing energy (5) be the store, you probably didn’t pay too much 18,260). That could be a better fit with Burn- out past the Man. 36 No time to tire and anger (3) 18 Why earn and strive? (5) attention to Empire, Gerlach’s low-profile twin ing Man, especially as Humboldt is thought 37 Briefly anonymous again (4) 19 A proper Mitsubishi city. Now it is gone. One of, if not, the last, to be more receptive to returning repaired 38 Light emitting diode has licenses (7) company towns in America, was shut by owner Burners to the Playa. showed the way (3) 20 Reseats to review the ALMANAC 39 The rat went backwards coming attractions (7) USG Corp. as demand for drywall evaporated At the Core. One of the Burning Man or- into black goo (3) 21 Go back to re-seed reportedly (6) in the housing crisis. Read more about it else- ganization’s goals is to spread Burner culture Monday 41 Casper is confused about 22 Half a yo-yo goes around where in this issue. far and wide. This year, that policy is coming First Light: 5:53 a.m. the shenanigans (6) a Chinese emperor (3) New Meds. Black Rock City is switching home to roost, almost literally. The Man will Sunrise: 6:21 a.m. 43 Steel construction for 23 Perceive the sound of the sea (3) freezing rain (5) 24 By way of some aviation (3) medical services providers, with the Humboldt be ringed by 22 flammable artworks known Sunset: 7:33 p.m. General Hospital’s EMS Rescue Department as the Circle of Regional Effigies, many 20 46 Make up for misdeeds at 27 A naive few go back for a man (3) Twilight Ends: 8:01 p.m. an hour after noon (5) 28 New votes for the cooker (5) replacing long-time incumbent, the Regional feet or so tall. They’re made by regional Burn Moonrise: 10:07 p.m. 48 The endless decree was 29 Some pretentious number (3) Emergency Medical Services Authority. groups, and most of them are pretty ambi- Tuesday confused for a belief (5) 32 The age when all are confused (3) Money may be a factor: the Burning Man tious. Better see them quickly, they ALL burn First Light: 5:54 49 How right to turn the crank 35 Repel backwards the budget for medical services last year jumped at 9 p.m. on Thursday. Sunrise: 6:22 inside of the labor camp (4,5) shunned one (5) 50 The Extra Terrestrial took in 40 Take a right from 11A and cry (4) 41 Colorado rig upset the dog (5) 42 The star drummer Semi-Legal Mumbo Jumbo Copyright © 2011 The Black Rock Beacon, Perpetrators of The Black Rock Beacon... Mitchell Martin, editor emeritus pulled his groin (5) a not-for-profit corporation organized under the laws of the state of Washington and 43 Searches to see Kansas (5) located at 32657 9th PL S, Federal Way, Wash., 98003, some rights reserved. You in training. Mike Durgavich, doer of stuff. Angie Zmijewski, production goddess. Susan 44 Swelling brought out by are free to to copy, distribute, display, and perform the information and images contained Williamson, pre-pressure. Larry Breed, copying editor. Taymar, webmeister. Ron Garmon, co- unwanted email (5) herein, to make derivative works, and to make commercial use of this work under the camp manager in absentia. Suzanne Zalev, hot mama. Carry Tveit and Deb Prothero, gone 45 Designate that tile surrounds following conditions: You must attribute the work to the Black Rock Beacon and, if you the capital of Texas (5) alter, transform, or build upon our material, you may distribute the resulting work only ice fishing. WeeGee, overseas minister of photography. Rod Allen and Brian Train, sunset 47 A confused and unending under a license identical to this one. These conditions may be waived if you obtain permis- prevention editors. Edge, eminence grise. | Design goddess/bitch wrangler: Lena Kartzov. route on the road-trip (4) sion from The Black Rock Beacon. Visit our website at www.blackrockbeacon.org or Illustrator/beacon bitch: Shado. Illustrator: Diana Acosta. Monkeyshines: Zaius. 48 Which operations follow us on Twitter at twitter.com/BlackRockBeacon. feature a hack? (4)