autismdelaware.org October–DecemberJuly–September 2017 2012 Inside this issue Sexuality and sensory processing . 5 Parent2Parent . 6–7 Typical meds and the libido . 8–9 Human sexuality and ASD Inside Autism Delaware . 10–11 How to explain Moving toward sex and Sun contributor acceptance Catherine Dukes, PhD, relationships Nearly every human being— is the vice president Human sexuality is part of including people with every human being. It is of education & autism spectrum disorder part of us at birth and is training at Planned (ASD)—craves romantic and sexual relationships. But with us until the day we Parenthood of pass on. “[h]istorically, individuals Delaware’s Sexuality with disabilities have been As parents, caregivers, and Education Training denied rights to sexuality.”1 educators of individuals Institute . with autism spectrum Why? Fears and stereotypes disorder (ASD), many of us often impede individuals may be placed in the role with disabilities. Stereotypes of sex educator or even relationship include the belief that Our mission facilitator, but explaining sex and people with ASD are childlike, nonsexual, relationships to someone on the over-sexual, unable to understand, To help people and spectrum can feel very complicated. unable to give consent, uninterested in sexual relationships, unable to develop families affected So, start simple: Explain the basics, and name the body parts using or maintain a sexual or romantic by autism spectrum correct terminology instead of slang relationship, or not able to get married or have children. disorder (ASD) terms. Start teaching when your child is very As a result, “[i]ndividual rights to young. If your child is older, worry sexuality, which is essential to human not. True, it’s never too early to start, health and well-being, have been denied. but it’s never too late to start if you This loss has negatively affected people haven’t already begun. Whenever with IDD [intellectual and developmental you start, this will be the beginning disabilities] in gender identity, friendships, of a lifetime of conversations. self-esteem, body image and awareness, emotional growth, and social behavior. Use the correct names for all the People with [IDD] frequently lack access to body parts. Don’t skip silently past appropriate sex education in schools and the child’s private parts. If you don’t other settings. At the same time, some know the correct names of the individuals may engage in sexual activity private parts, start learning them. as a result of poor options, manipulation, Check out plannedparenthood.org, loneliness or physical force rather than as sexetc.org, or some of the books an expression of their sexuality.”2,3 mentioned in this article or listed in TM the Resources box on page 4. To move away from the fears and stereotypes and toward acceptance, Continued on p . 3 Continued on p . 4 Ask for help; try to help others Autism Delaware™ In this issue of The Sun, you will find swamped by the information that addresses a few growing numbers Newark aspects of human sexuality as well as and needs of the 924 Old Harmony Rd. some resources that may be helpful autism community. Suite 201, Newark DE 19713 to individuals on the autism spectrum As a result, the Phone: 302.224.6020 and their families. As in each issue of lifeblood and Autism Delaware’s quarterly newsletter, essence of the Dover the usefulness of the information organization rest on Pete Bradley c/o Dover Downs and resources will depend on the volunteers. Autism Board President 1131 North Dupont Hwy., Dover DE 19901 individual’s needs. Delaware volunteers Call for on-site appointment: are a great help 302.224.6020 or 302.644.3410 Admittedly, “human sexuality” can be to the people who help families a sensitive subject. The staff at Autism Lewes affected by ASD as well as to those Delaware is willing and able to guide 17517 Nassau Commons Blvd. families themselves. Volunteers are you through your concerns. Don’t Unit 1, Lewes DE 19958 responsible for the smooth operation hesitate to give Autism Delaware a call. Phone: 302.644.3410 of extensive administrative efforts, The phone numbers are listed in the advocacy, communications, programs, Email box at left. [email protected] and fundraising. Their spectrum of As president of Autism Delaware’s assistance is crucial. Website board of directors, I am awed by When your personal situation allows, autismdelaware.org the depth and breadth of programs please become an Autism Delaware and services that our organization volunteer. Share your unique talents, Family support provides to individuals on the and help make a difference in our Kent and Sussex Counties spectrum and their families across world and yours. (302) 644-3410 the state. Our mission sounds simple: New Castle County helping people and families affected In turn, don’t be afraid to ask for (302) 224-6020 by autism spectrum disorder (ASD). help when you need it. Sometimes, But accomplishing this goal means we hesitate to ask for help because Board officers addressing the range of symptoms we don’t want to feel indebted or be experienced by people on the spectrum an inconvenience to others, but this President as well as the range of traits that attitude will only isolate you. Pete Bradley defines each individual. Because we at Please know that the people you reach [email protected] Autism Delaware want all individuals out to will feel personally fulfilled Vice president on the spectrum to live a purposeful by the process. I’ve learned that Marie-Anne Aghazadian life, our work is definitely cut out this process can also be amazingly [email protected] for us. cathartic. So, my motto is now “Ask Secretary While Autism Delaware maintains for help; try to help others.” Artie Kempner an excellent professional staff, Use it as your own motto if you like. [email protected] we are still a nonprofit. Each staff member is responsible for at least one Treasurer Pete Bradley Jeff Flanders organizational department and can be [email protected] The Sun A service of Autism Delaware A publication of Autism Delaware Editorial committee Katina Demetriou, director [email protected] Carla Koss TM Ann Athas Cory Gilden Heidi Mizell Bus: 302.224.6020 Ext. 202 Cell: 302.824.2252 Liz Carlisle Gail Hecky Jen Nardo Melissa Martin, assistant director Dafne Carnright [email protected] Bus: 302.644.3410 Cell: 302.824.9710 Autism Delaware™, POW&R™, Productive Opportunities for Kim Rosebaum, vocational administrative assistant Work & Recreation™, and the Autism Delaware puzzle-piece [email protected] logo are trademarks of Autism Delaware Inc . Bus: 302.224.6020 Ext. 214 2 | July–September 2017 How to explain sex Continued from p . 1 If getting started with these terms feels awkward, practice For toddlers and children, a critical message is “Your body saying them out loud when alone in your home or car. It’s belongs to you. Sometimes, parents and doctors may have to important to use touch your private parts but only to help keep you clean or these terms without for medical reasons.” How common shame. Two critical It’s important to talk about “secret touching” or other terms is sexual abuse? reasons are sexual that may signal sexual abuse. Tell your child that “a secret abuse prevention touch” is never okay, and he or she should tell a trusted adult The Disability and Abuse Proj- and being able if anyone engages in secret touching—and keep telling until ect 2012 National Survey on to use common, someone intervenes. Abuse of People with Disabilities medically correct included about 7,300 individuals terms when talking Teaching sexuality and reproduction with disabilities, family mem- with doctors. Young In general, it is okay and makes sense to teach children what bers, caregivers, and responders people need to human sexuality and reproduction are. In fact, in 2008, to abuse . know that their The Arc and the American Association of Intellectual and Of the responders with any dis- private parts have Developmental Disabilities offered a critical and relevant ability, 70 percent said they had names, that their source of information and policy-making ideas around human been victims of abuse . private parts are sexuality and people with intellectual and developmental Of responders with a develop- theirs, that they disabilities (IDD), such as autism. For more about this paper, see the article on page 1 entitled mental disability (such as au- can talk about “Moving toward acceptance.” tism), 34 percent reported some their private parts, Note: Parents type of sexual abuse . that they can ask For teaching tools, I highly should review about their private In a separate 2012 study pub- recommend these award-winning Harris’s books lished in The Lancet, children parts without being sex-education books by Robie H. thoroughly before with developmental disabilities shamed, and that Harris: sharing them with and mental-health diagnoses they have control • It’s Not the Stork (ages 4+) were reported as 4 .6 times more over who touches • It’s So Amazing (ages 7+) their children . likely to be sexually abused than their private parts. • It’s Perfectly Normal (ages 10+) Make sure you children without disabilities . understand the As a bonus, parents Hormones and masturbation content, and might also tell their While masturbation is normal at Sexual Abuse of Individuals with be prepared to children with ASD any age in human beings, puberty Developmental Disabilities, Brief share your values One: Contributing Factors (Dis- how amazing their brings an increase in hormones ability Rights Ohio, Columbus, whole bodies are, and sexual interest. Where the alongside the 2015): 4 . including their parents of neurotypical kids may medically accurate genitals.