Sutherland Inside This Issue: Secondary to Film the Second Episode of Their New Mid-Season TV Se- Ries, Life Unexpected

PUBLISHER: T. ALEXIS

FORMATTER: J. ELLIOT

Volume III, issue ii October 21st 2009 Having Girl Troubles?

Having Boy Troubles? Don’t Understand You A Sabre Trooth Exclusive: Significant Other? Toto...We’re Not in Kansas Anymore We Got Just the Guy!

See Back for Details. On Tuesday, September 30, the CW (TV station) took over Sutherland Inside this issue: Secondary to film the second episode of their new mid-season TV series, Life Unexpected. The Toto...We’re Not cafeteria/multipurpose In Kansas Anymore 2 area, choir and band Survivor: Sutherland 3 rooms, as well as the The Wannabe Sutherland (Cont’d) front entrance and most of a pep-rally poster. To an jock hall, were taken over outsider, it was your typical their homes in Vancouver for What Really 4 by the film crew. Students, American high school. To the last nine and five years Grinds My Gears including yours truly, Sutherland students, it was respectively. Sadly, Life Unex- stopped in their tracks as like waking up and realizing pected is not about Superman More to Education 6 giant posters splashed you’re no longer in Kansas. or demons, this series, while Than School across the walls declared: still far fetched, has a much

“Football Team Tryouts!” more grounded plot. Opportunity 6 “Debate Team!” “Taco This is not the first CW TV Knocks Tuesdays!” There were full series to film almost exclu- lockers, cheerleading sign- sively in Vancouver. Smallville Cont’d. pg 2... Horoscopes 7 up sheets, trophy cases, and and Supernatural have made “Done-Ham, 8 You’re the other White Meat” Best in 80’s Music 9 Survivor: Sutherland

Fall Trends 11 At the start of each semes- families, and international half of them are in ESL, and ter, numerous students from students who are usually there are 62 ESL students in abroad flow into our beloved here temporarily staying with total. We meet these stu- Tuff and Under- 12 Sutherland Secondary to guardians, instead of their dents every day, but what do rated experience a different cul- parents. All the same, they we really know about them? ture and learn English. These all learn English as a second I had a great time of getting Cross Country 12 foreign students can be di- language. Currently, out of to know more about stu- vided into two types: immi- around 1000 Sutherland students from outside Canada Swim Team 13 grated students who are dents, we have 64 interna- by interviewing them: Photo Gallery 15 here permanently with their tional students and around Cont’d. pg 3...

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Toto, We’re Not in Kansas Anymore (Cont’d)

The show follows Lux, a fifteen year old from Port- Dressed in land, Oregon, who is seek- skinny gray ing to be emancipated so jeans, a plaid she can stop bouncing from shirt, purple one foster parent to an- Converse and a other. The catch? She ends big down jacket, up finding her birth parents she looks like in the process. an average high school student, with one excep- Brittany Robertson, a fresh tion: does the faced nineteen year-old, average student plays Lux: “[the show] sur- have flawless rounds three different fami- make-up and lies, Lux is trying to become perfectly emancipated, and instead formed curls? ends up in her birth parents' Probably not, but as Marina, custody Her life is changing; Brittany Robertson being an actress subject to go up. “The an assistant casting director, her mother is figuring out if money will be distrib- put it: “Women [in the in- she wants to be a mother, the craft. If you decide that uted throughout the dustry] look like skinny gay while her dad has to grow acting is right for you, Marina school, 1/3 will go to staff men with boob up. Everyone’s trying to get has only a few very enthusi- developments, class jobs.” Having been around astic words for you: “Go to rooms…1/3 will go to a second chance.” the block once or twice, she auditions! Even extras have administration and the knows a thing or two about auditions! Go out there and other 1/3 will go to the the business, and is not shy Brittany recently moved to always, always keep learn- student council and grad about spilling some details. West Vancouver for the ing!” council. We thought that filming and is finding life the pros outweighed the So why does Sutherland get quite different from LA. “It’s cons of this opportunity,” “It’s ego driven! Being young to become Oz for the day? beautiful here,” she gushes. Mr. McGowan explains as and hot will get you some- Out of all of the schools in “The trees were the first we sit in the cafeteria where, knowing the right Vancouver, why did the pro- thing I noticed, I know it watching extras walk in people will get you in the ducers and director chose a sounds weird, but there are and out of the front door- even then you need school that people in Surrey so many trees, it’s, well, talent to stay there. It’s a have never heard about? “It’s doors. beautiful…well when it’s twelve hour a day job, mini- a beautiful school,” says a not raining,” she laughs Ms. Workman, who mum. If you have friends, very proud Mr. McGowan, glancing outside to where joined us in between they’re in the business “we were approached, [by she has to go and film in a classes had a few things to probably working with you. someone from the crew] few moments. Dog earring say about the cons. Boyfriend? Girlfriend? Good they were looking for a set… her book, she seems very “They said that they’d luck [she laughs]… [Even if we went back and forth for a comfortable in a high take the choir room, they you get a job] a producer in while, talked to staff and af- school, although she admits said nothing about the some studio in Hollywood ter the crew took a look at band room,” she sighs it's definitely been awhile. could cut your show or the school, we agreed to do slightly frustrated. While movie [and] you’re gone.” it.” most of the teachers just “It’s hard playing a fifteen As of the time of this inter- had to deal with curious year-old. It’s like I have to view, Sutherland would be students, she had her 7:30 For those that still seek the forget the last four years of getting approximately am jazz band practice movie star life, Marina rec- my life and do it all over $16,000 for one day of film- canceled. As a band geek ommends Cap University's again.” drama department to learn ing, but that number is myself, I can tell you that Volume III, issue ii Page 3

Toto, We’re Not in Kansas Anymore (Cont’d) coming to school at 7:30, Workman continued. Still, immersed in the movie in- only to find out that you if Life Unexpected likes Suth- dustry,the lights, the cam- “Mr. have to sit in the cafeteria erland, she might have to eras and the fairly good McGowan...hint for an hour when you could cancel a few band classes in looking movie stars, eventu- be sleeping, is very annoy- the future. ally even Dorothy has to call ing that if all ing. it a day and go back to nor- “We’ll see how this goes,” mality. While the trip to Oz goes well...there “It wouldn’t have been a Mr. McGowan says mysteri- was fun, (how cool were problem if they had told us ously, hinting that if all goes the full lockers?) there truly will be other about it, but they didn’t. well and the student and is no place like home. possibilities for Two of my band classes teachers are up for it, there aren’t going to be able to be will be other possibilities for -Matisse Emanuele filming at held...communication is a filming at Sutherland. high priority and they didn’t With special thanks to Emilee- Sutherland” communicate very well," Ms. After spending the day Ann Batista

Survivor: Sutherland (Cont’d) just a had all sorts of problems to Homestay families are school, face when they first got usually gracious enough and that here. to treat their foreign there is no students nicely, like they The students from abroad difference are real family members, have difficulties adjusting to in moving but it cannot always be their new school, but they from one perfect for the students. do not have as hard a time to an- Of all the complaints as we‘d expect them to other. among international stu- have. The students I inter- However, dents, homesickness viewed said that the main transfer- tops the list. Hoiman has challenges are lingual and ring inter- an excellent homestay cultural differences. The nationally family, who really care problems they faced are is a huge about her, but it can having trouble talking with change. never be same as her friends or teachers because Our awesome ESL students Here are some examples family back in Hong they cannot find the right from my interviewees. Kong and she constantly word in English, or the Marianne Lozano and Kelly Marianne and Kelly said they feels homesick. One of other person talks too fast. Mendoza who are both had to take seven to ten the reasons for her Also, when they cannot from Philippines, Melika courses every day each se- homesickness that she understand what to do in Garibpour from Iran, Pat- mester back in Philippines! mentioned was missing class, their limited English rick Arellano from Mexico, Also, in their former her mom’s food. She often leads them to copy and Hoiman Chan from schools, it was not students also mentioned other what other students are who moved around the homestay families she China. doing rather than asking classrooms, but the teach- knew. One family had a someone for help. More- ers. Another school, Me- six year old, and for Hoi- over, students like Hoiman, First, let’s look at what kind lika’s in Iran, had class every man’s teenage friend, the who is here by herself, have of different school lives they day except Fridays. The little kid running all over another type of problem had before they came here. foreign students have vari- that the students staying the house yelling You may say that a school is ous backgrounds that they with their families do not Cont’d pg. 4... Page 4

Survivor: Sutherland (Cont’d) disturbed study and lei- from their teachers, espe- Patrick pointed out that the The students I interviewed sure time. Another family cially in ESL, and friends in school needs to have some were pretty satisfied and had a curfew to be home order to overcome their dictionaries in their lan- happy with Sutherland, but by five ’o’ clock, but come challenges. It turns out that guages, either at the library it is true that they have a on, we need more time they mainly have friends or in classrooms. As a hard time at school because than that to hang out! As who speak their native lan- group, another suggestion of their diverse back- you can see, students guage, and the group said it came up: a buddy system in grounds. They will gradually from abroad have prob- can detract from learning which each student gets a improve their English skills lems to endure, but they English. However, it does “buddy,” either in the same and adjust in Canadian cul- always come up with solu- help them to get used to grade or above. It would ture, but the group hoped tions. the school and everything help the students with set- teachers and students will else. I asked my interview tling in much easier with a keep up their hospitality and The solutions for the stu- group about what Suther- little more help from the kindness, which certainly dents’ problems often land can improve on for Sutherland community. makes them more comfort- come from outside help. students like themselves. able. It seems like every day is an adventure and a challenge for students from abroad; they are survivors of Suth- erland. To students from abroad: good luck with your stay at Sutherland! And to the rest of Sutherland; let’s keep up the good work supporting these students!

-Sunny Mok

Do You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?: Giampaolo Edition

1) Something that really 2) Something else that really bothers me is those guys grinds my gears is when who walk around wearing you're at a fast food reste- their fake designer sun- raunt and you're about to glasses and their two hun- take a bite of your burger dred dollar shirts looking all and you find a hair in it that hardcore thinking that they may or may not belong to own the world and what you. I mean, I know it's just not. I mean come on, we a hair, but for all you know may not say it to your face, it could belong to the 30 but all we can think of when pound rat living in the con- we see you is how much of diment fridge that just hap- an idiot you're making your- pened to sneak in to your self look. I mean I know you "delicious" burger. Or on wanna look "tuff" and all like the other hand, it could just The Devil has many Ponyboy, but come on! Stop belong to my over-sized Jew Everybody in this world has things wearing your sunglasses at fro. But, nonetheless, it still that grind their gears. This list night and try not to live annoys me. contains things that annoy me or some people I know. your life like a Grand Theft

In no way shape or form am I trying to offend you with Auto game already. the things I may say in this article. But, if I do happen 3) Do you know what else

to hurt your feelings, then that is just too darn bad... Volume III, issue ii Page 5

Do You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?: Giampaolo Edition 3) Do you know what else really puts my the world that makes her angry. then why are you texting the knickers in a knot? Mosquitos. One little dinky Then she brings in all these lawyers only person who isn't there? bite turns into a two day parade of scratching and people with their opinions on that spot till your skin bleeds. If mosquitos the show and they argue. But her 10) Do you know what were guys, I would kick all of them in the nuts form of arguing is just yelling, "No" really gets my gears so they could finally stop reproducing and mak- and asking rethorical questions. It's grounded to maximum over- ing our world a worse place to live in. That's honestly ridiculously annoying to drive? Twilight. No, not the how much mosquitos annoy me. watch and listen to her whine. I books, from what I hear wonder if she treats her husband or they're half decent. It's the children the same way she treats movies that do this to me. 4) Don't you hate it when people say certain the people on the show. It's just one pathetic dude things just because they're looking for a compli- who calls himself a vampire ment? Like when a girl says " I look so bad right who falls in love with this girl now" expecting you to respond with, "Oh don't 8) You know what really frustrates and they struggle through worry you look fine." Or when a dude says he's me? All those corny television "real life" challenges like fight- terrible at a certain sport when he isn't really shows that are set in High School. It ing other vampires and pro- that bad, but he still expects you to tell him frustrates me because nothing tecting each other. You're that he's good at it. This is all extremely annoy- about them is true at all. There is most likely to be more en- ing to hear! If you really want a compliment always the jock stereotype, fruity tertained by a two hour spe- that badly just ask me and I'll give you one in- cheerleaders, flamboyantly-out gay cial of The Bachelor. I'm seri- stead of making yourself look foolish. person, and then there's the nor- ous, it's just terrible. What mals. I mean seriously, it's the same annoys me even more is in every show. They make high those 9 year old girls who 5) What tops my list of the things that "grind school look like some perfect little are like, "omg edward cullen my gears" the most is when I can hear people world. Do the writers of these plz marry me." It's just sad to chew their food. It makes me want to kill my- shows not have eyes? Can they not see that patheticness is start- self. I don't know why, but just something notice that what they're writing is in ing to grow in people at such about me hearing what the person beside me is fact the exact opposite of what high a young age. making of their meal inside their mouth just school is like? I guess they can't, but drives me bonkers. maybe they should come for a visit With all this said, am I just a and see what a normal high school person who is easily an-

looks like. noyed? Or can you also 6) Do you know what's really distracting? agree with some of the When you're in class doing work during quiet things said in this article? time and the kid beside is just the loudest 9) Something incredibly annoying is Unfortunately for me, we do breather in the world. I mean when I say loud I a little thing called pointless texts. not have a super awesome mean really loud. Picture all the crying babies in Are you ever at home just watching mosquito killing robot who the world put into a room. That loud. Do you a movie on a Friday night and you also happens to do things like know how hard it is to concentrate when you get a text from your friend that give compliments to those in have King Kong beside you breathing up a reads " Omg im having so much fun desperate need of them or storm? right now." If you answered yes to defeat super strong vampire that question, do you like it when like Edward Cullen (LOL). that happens? No, it's just incredibly Until something like this is 7) This lady takes the award for being both the stupid and a waste of a perfectly created, I am just going to meanest woman and the most annoying woman good ten cents. You're at a party do have to try and cope with all on televison. Well I guess it's a tie between her you really need to text the one of my irritations and annoy- and Oprah for the second, but still. Ever heard person that isn't there? Just turn to ances. (Which, by the way, of Nancy Grace? Anways, if you're not familiar the person directly beside you and annoys me.) with her show on CNN, I'll give you a quick say it and save my and your own description. She focuses on a certain subject in time. If you're having so much fun, -Giampaolo Posteraro Page 6

There’s More to Education Than School Some of you pleted 580 hours of a SSA and, more often than not, may never and have a C+ average in have heard of your grade 12 year, then across Canada. the Secondary you have the opportunity of School Ap- earning a $1000 scholarship. * it provides skills that allow prenticeship you to work almost any- (SSA) program. In order to register as a where. The trades SSA, you must be in grade Hard at work program has ten, eleven or twelve and For more information on over 200 different trades and employed in a trade that can the SSA program and provides hands-on training that most post-secondary be apprenticed in British trades, check out the fol- schools don't give you. A bonus to this is that you Columbia. Also, you need to lowing websites: receive pay for learning, and in the long run, you be in a paid part time posi- http://www.itabc.ca/ could come to earn an above-average income. tion. http:// The SSA program is a high school career program A few highpoints of being in www.careersintrades.ca/ that lets you begin an apprenticeship while still in a SSA program are: high school and is supported by the Ministry of Edu- -Emilee-Ann Batisa cation and the Industry Training Authority (ITA). To * gives you a wide range of

become a certified trade’s person, you need at least career opportunities. 4 years of in school-training (15%) and 85% work based training at a college or training centre. During * when the program is com- the duration of this, you will receive 4 credits for pleted, you will receive a every 120 hours worked, to a maximum of 16 cred- credential that will open up its, towards your graduation. When you have com- career opportunities in B.C

Opportunity Knocks

Want something to do in skiing, snowboarding, or volunteer and get vol- the fall/winter that doesn't making snowmen? If so, unteer hours. For all involve watching TV, or Grouse Mountain is cur- those who are thinking playing a computer games rently looking for new vol- they have no need to on the Nintendo Playbox? unteers and is now hiring! volunteer, think again, Well, here it is, your one On November 18th there is future 12's, you'll need source of hot info on up- a film industry expo. So if the hours to graduate. coming jobs, careers, and you're interested in looking Finally, Grade 9's, start volunteer opportunities. at career options in the thinking about "Take This week on this newly- industry, or just want to Your Kids to Work titled column, we have network, it is the perfect Day" which is coming plenty of great options. First place for you. TELUS World up on November 4th. Hope up, ever thought of stopping of Science, or it's real name you all go out and, at least, criminals? Well the RCMP Science World, is holding think about these opportuni- Youth Academy is coming "Health Sciences Dissected" ties. They're coming up fast, up. It's a ten day boot camp an opportunity to meet sci- so look into it today! See that will get you ready to ence Pros, Profs, and Res Ms. Giraud for details. stop those bad guys any day! (Researchers). The Olym- (Notice: Must be at least 16 pics are only four months years of age.) Do you like away, this is the time to -James Elliot Volume III, issue ii Page 7

Horoscopes, They’re Back in Town

(Sept 23-Oct 22) (Oct 23-Nov 21) (Nov 22-Dec 21) Lately, you have en- (Sept 23-Oct22)No one should "get up all You maintain posi- countered many dilem- Lately, you havein encountered your grill" as you many are adilem- tive outlooks on all mas that are becoming mas that are becomingforce to bestressful reckoned and unenjoy- situations. You al- stressful and unenjoy- able. However, with.maintaining Although your you may calm will ways know what is able. However, main- find yourself to be jeal- at the end of the taining your calm will help exceedingly.ous You of others, have foundat the yourself to road for you. Confi- help exceedingly. You be more outgoingsame than time ever. you are Talk very to new dence is a thriving have found yourself to loyal andpeople, resourceful. it will You make are yourthe master life more of argu- interest-key in your life, and you always have it. be more outgoing than ever. Talk to new peo- ments,ing and than have ita bloodalready boiling is. Besides, temper to you back are it veryHowever, you are very short tempered, ple, it will make your life more interesting than up! Trychangeable. to take it easy Also, for a you little are while, sliding and relax. away frompossibly a because of your intense com- it already is. Besides, you are very changeable. 2010 willstrong be a yearrelationship, full of furious and moments. you may You be oblivi-petitiveness. Avoid dancing or any other Also, you are sliding away from a strong rela- might not be the most sociable sign, but you are sudden movements, because your hips ous to it. You Librans are usually very aware tionship, and you may be oblivious to it. You sure to be the most independent. When you put may not be so strong lately. You are Librans are usually very aware of your relation- your mindof your to something, relationships. you can accomplish it very dedicated towards your passions, ships. individually. but you may need to take more time off.

(Dec 22-Jan 19)The last (Jan 20-Feb 18)You (Feb 19-Mar 20) thing you need is a mega- are truly one of a kind. You are a natural born phone! Your voice is blast- You are very friendly leader. Something that ing, and this isn't necessar- to others and also to has always been no- ily a bad thing. It shows mankind. You domi- ticed about you are your humour and author- nate the ankles, but be your creative ideas. ity. You are very practical careful not to exert You thrive on your opinions, and sometimes and conservative. You yourself too much, or your feet will not be seem to be living in your own world. Your thrive on your independence, and everyone feeling too good. You are very cheerful and twisted sense of humour is very noticeable. needs your help once in a while. However, loyal. Your charming personality and attractive Many others find you to be strange and lately you are finding yourself to be moody, but looks will be noticed. You hate to be alone, weird, but you consider yourself unique! your friends are very understanding with that. and find yourself to be more effective in Take some time to relax, and spend some groups. time with the people that care about you.

(Mar 21– Apr 19) It has (Apr 20– May 20) (May 21– Jun 21) Al- been a hectic month for Congratula- though your mind and you, young Aries, but the tions ,Taurus! Money your heart are demanding best part about it is that is near, but don’t go different needs, make the there are calm waters thinking it will be choice based on what ahead. Seek comfort from handed to you. A great would be best in future a friendly Sagittarius, your deal of work is to be months. If you are feeling most compatable sign, for done, and you will be resentful, ask a neighborly Aquarius, whose it will benefit you in future satisfied in the end. Avoid settling into any quick mind will be of use here. It seems as months. Oh, and as things settle remember to routines. Your fall schedule will take some though karma has not been on your side keep your head out of the clouds. Things are time to perfect, so try something different. lately. Make room for a sullen Sagittarius, for much better down here! Eventually you will figure out the ideal balance. they are your polar opposite zodiac. This will give you the answer you’ve been looking for.

(Jun 22-July 22) Loosen (July 23-Aug 22) Your (Aug 23-Sept 22) It seems up, Cancer. A recent tiff schedule is settling down, you have made a great has made you uptight. now it’s time for you to do choice lately, and for that Don’t let what is not the same. Your upbeat per- you will be rewarded. You necessary bother you, sonality is appreciated by are a great leader, but keep because you will soon most, but not by all. Your in mind that your desire to realize you have bigger use of sarcasm has been lead will not always be things to worry about. Do minimal lately. Keep it that way, and you will needed. Give thought to the not let that scare you away from a long time find others more welcoming to your ideas. words you speak in your next argument, for aspiration though, for you will seek good for- Find time for something you have been mean- they will disappoint a loved one. Not to fret, tune from a reached goal. ing to do and it will get done easier then you though. If enough affection is shown, forgive- presume. ness may be closer then you think.

-Astrology Jones Page 8

“DONE-HAM, You’re the Other White Meat” - Peanut and Jeff Dunham

that is purple, wears one find him as funny as Jeff that of a miserable, problematic shoe, is covered in thin Dunham, but they're al- man. He won a Gemini award fur with big red lips, two most tied. Russell Peters is in 1997 for his role on the tele- eyes really close together known worldwide for his vision series The Newsroom. He and a patch of neon green use of racial discrimination. also got a 2006 Canadian Com- hair. José Jalapeño on a Personally, I can’t call him edy Award for his Just for stick is a Mexican jalapeño racist because he doesn’t Laughs stand-up comedy per- wearing a miniature som- just target one race: he formance. Funny Quote: “The directions from Have you ever laughed so brero with a traditional mocks every single race he Mexican moustache. José can think of, including his IKEA are garbage. There are no words, hard that you fell on the it's diagrams and the guy never saw the floor with tears coming out is pulled out only when own, Indian. I honestly thing you’re supposed to make. Horri- Jeff Dunham with his good buddyPeanut is out because the think Russell Peters has a ble crap, I now have a bed that folds ofPeanut your eyes, and felt as two will then mock each gift. He can perfect any into a bookcase.” though your stomach is Russell Brand: about to burst? Have you other. Walter, described accent. My favorite accent by Jeff himself, is someone of his is his Chinese accent, An Englishman, fourth on my ever just gotten so bored of list, I won’t lie and say he was a show that you wanted to everyone knows, he is a it sounds so real that if you senior who is just nega- were to close your eyes, terrible. I mean, Russell Brand turn off the TV and smash it is good, but just not that good, to pieces? Fortunately for tive about everything and you'd think you were hear- anything. I’ve watched ing a Chinese comedian. especially when compared to you, I experienced those the other, better Russell. He is feelings of extreme anger so every one of his shows, Some of his older shows including “Arguing with include “Russell Peters: an English actor, comedian and your TV would stay in one television/radio personality. I piece, and, lucky for me, I Myself” and “Spark of Outsourced,” with his lat- Insanity,” the best being est being “Russell Peters: found Russell Brand to be too also experienced copious flamboyant, and too random in amounts of laughter, which "Spark of Insanity." Out of Red, White, and Brown.” Funny Quote: (NOTE: italics his acts. In his New York City made up for the anger. If all his puppets, my favorite is Peanut, just simply are the Chinese accent) He's show I found he was a little you are still wondering what discussing "Anthony's" Chinese stuck up about himself when he because of his wackiness name: “It sounds a lot cooler than I am talking about, one mentioned how he was the fifth word: COMEDIANS!!! I and the voice Jeff gives Anthony, unless you’re Anthony by day and Top Som Bong by night! most googled term in the went on youtube to look up him. Honestly, this guy literally makes tears come You could be like a Chinese su- world during the week of the five comedians, from a ven- perhero or something: Chinaman! VMAs. [Russell made some out of my eyes and Chinaman: he’s got two chop- triloquist to the master of rude comments about the random, and put them on a ROTFLMAO! sticks on his shirt, shooting’ noo- dles out of his wrists, catching Jonas Brothers] Russell Brand top five review. After you P.S. Keep look-out for The Jeff Dunham Show bad guys with stale fortune cook- has had many achievements, read this article, you'll know ies, phewewe boing, Confucius say, which premieres Oct. including hosting the VMAs who you better be watch- you go to jail, bad boy!” 22/2009. Jeremy Hotz: (2008 and 2009) and acting in ing, or else “somebody Forgetting Sarah Marshall. For a gonna get a hurt real bad.” Third on my list, Jeremy Funny Quote: José- “I want to Hotz is funny, but when hilarious youtube hit, check out Jeff Dunham: see the señoritas” compared to Russell Pe- his audition for the movie! Peanut- “What?” Funny Quote: “Without fame, this The funniest comedian I ters and Jeff Dunham, he’s have ever come across. Jeff José- “I want to see the girls” hair cut just looks like mental illness.” Jeff- “What makes you think the like a mouse. Jeremy Mitch Hedberg:No offense to Dunham is a ventriloquist. I girls want to see you?” mainly improvises when anyone who loves this guy, but love all his puppets, but my José- “José has the stick.” he’s on stage; his main act I really found him LAME. Mitch personal favorites is to be someone who is Hedberg uses just too much are:Peanut, José Jalapeño on Russell Peters: challenged by everyday random material: he jumps a stick and Walter. Peanut is Although he's second on experiences. I find it quite from one thing, to another, to a wacky, crazy little puppet my list, Russell Peters still funny the way Jeremy uses another before you can even has me on the floor hold- his one fist to cover his blink. One noticeable thing ing my stomach to keep it mouth and wraps his other about him is that he’s con- together. I just don’t arm around his waist and Volume III, issue ii Page 9

“DONE-HAM, You’re the Other White Meat” -

Peanut and Jeff Dunham Russell constantly wearing glasses in his (*cough*Mitch Hedberg*cough*). act. Now here’s a fact: as I Whether you enjoy complete ran- Brand Funny domness, racial discrimination or watched one of his segments on Quote: youtube, I did not laugh, and by watching a guy talk through a pup- the end of it I wanted to shoot pet, you will have to do more than “Without myself. Sorry, but I don’t have just look at the quote and laugh. much to say about him. With that said, one of these five fame, this comedians is sure to make you NOT-so Funny Quote: “A severed foot ROTFLMAO, and don’t worry, hair cut just is the greatest stocking stuffer.” you don’t have to wait for them to [Funny quote: "Rice is great when you're come to town (plus Mitch Hed- looks like really hungry and want 3,000 of some- berg is dead, you'd be waiting a thing."] long time); just go on youtube and Comedian Russell Brand mental There are so many comedians in search their names, and you will illness.” the world to choose from, and find the best way to spend ten these are just five that are minutes! -Sadara Dhuga *supposedly* hilarious

The Best in 80’s Music

Most of you revolution had begun! reading this fans, and critics complained Here are what I consider were not even that music was losing its soul to be the most influential alive when to a format that promoted albums of the '80's (in no some of the best style over substance. How- particular order). music of all time ever, Michael Jackson’s al- was being laid bum, Thriller, demonstrated INXS - Shabooh Shoobah down on vinyl that the video was now an Probably the best band to and cassette integral part of the music come out of Australia ever. tape. If you are experience culminating with A solid mix of alternative not familiar with his grandiose video for the rock led by the strong vo- these two par- song of the same name. cals of Michael Hutch- Caption describingticular audio With a budget of 500 thou- ence. As mentioned previ- picture or graphic.recording for- sand dollars, this fourteen ously, the songs, "The mats, it is advis- minute long epic paid hom- One Thing" and "Don’t able that you age to the zombie movie Change" are timeless. genre. Thriller changed eve- Best Style..Ever type the terms into Hutchence's voice stands Google. Different styles ryone’s perceptions of what the test of time as much and genres were explod- a music video could and as the band's signature Tired of the music and antics ing on the scene, bringing would be. sax solos in many of their of Kanye West? Don’t know new and innovative music My most vivid memories of songs. if you can hear one more from all over North America, music in the 80’s start with single from Lady GaGa? Britain, Australia, and an FM Radio station out of The Police - Synchronicity Long for a time before hip Europe. Spokane, Washington - Though Mrs. Alexis would hop and rap? Well, it is time KEZE 105.6 - “Spokane’s have preferred that I high- for you to go back to the Best Rock.” An Australian lighted one of their earlier 80’s, when videos were con- The launch of MTV ushered rock group called INXS was works like Zenyattà Mon- sidered radical and a CD in the era of the music video, making a name for them- datta or Ghost in the Ma- cost you more than your changing forever how people selves with the singles “The chine, (yes, there are a weekly allowance. experienced music. Artists One Thing” and “Don’t number of amazing songs on both of these albums), now had a second medium Change” from an album by which they could attract called Shabooh Shoobah. It Page 10

The Best in 80’s Music (Cont’d)

-singer and lyricist. It is too "I’ll Wait,""Panama," and Larry Mullen Jr. have man- hard to pick one or two best "Hot for Teacher." aged to change with the mu- songs from this release. Lis- sical times like some kind of ten to the album and a num- Michael Jackson - Thriller chameleons, while keeping ber of them will become per- Probably one of the most one thing con- sonal favourites. well known and successful stant...themselves. Not an albums in recorded history, easy feat considering the Guns N’ Roses - Appetite Thriller changed music and band was formed by four For Destruction the music video. Fusing Dublin boys in 1976. The however, Synchronicity After the seemingly endless R&B, disco, and funk with song, "Sunday, Bloody Sun- marks their final studio al- parade of glam metal bands pop, Jackson demonstrated day" speaks to the troubles bum and contains one of coming out of Los Angeles, a range of styles not yet in Northern Ireland and "New their best songs: "Every Guns N’ Roses appeared seen in music. His music Year's Day" continues with a Breath You Take. " Written like a breath of fresh air and video for the song, " Billie message of political activ- by Sting after separating delivered a sound that was Jean', featured his almost ism. Both songs typify the from his first wife, the song is like being hit with a sledge- surreal dance abilities. This characteristic drum beats, actually about a person’s hammer. Lead singer, Axl was all before Michael be- bassline, guitar chords, and obsession to control another. Rose, has one of the most came the tragic figure he will sweeping vocals of U2. It has been misinterpreted to memorable voices in rock most likely be remembered be a love song and has been music and lead guitar- as at the time of his death. Platinum Blonde - Standing used as part of wedding ist ,Slash, is one of the best With songs like "Beat It, " in the Dark ceremonies ever since it was electric guitar players of all "Billie Jean," and "Thriller,' it The Canadian Duran Duran? released. For all you hip hop/ time. "Welcome to the Jun- is worth a listen. That was who Platinum rap fans, this was the song gle" became their first real Def Leppard - Pyromania Blonde was compared to, sampled by P Diddy for the hit, and launched the group British heavy metal - does it but in most respects they song I"’ll Be Missing into an almost ten year ride get any better than this? Not took the glam rock look to a You" (commemerating the of concert tours, infamy, and in the 80’s it didn’t. Lead whole other Canadian level. death of Biggie Smalls). excess. Other songs on the singer, Joe Elliot, is able to To be honest, Platinum album that are a must listen hit the high notes required of Blonde is like a minor league Duran Duran - Duran Duran are "Sweet Child o’ Mine" a true heavy metal band. affiliate team when put up Their second album, Rio, and "Paradise City." "Use With the prerequisite tales of against the professional mu- brought this British group to Your Illusion" I and II are rock debauchery and trag- sicians previously men- the pinnacle of worldwide more epic, but didn’t get edy (their drummer lost his tioned. They were a small popularity. Most real fans released until 1990. arm), Pyromania became the town fan favourite and drew know ,however ,that their an impressive Canadian Van Halen - 1984 album of the summer of first release is where to find 1983. Though it was not the following just like a good a number of the quintessen- 1984, by most respects, is semi professional hockey the pinnacle album for Van commercial success of their tial songs that established next album, Hysteria, Pyro- team draws in the locals. Hit the style that was Duran Halen both commercially and singles included "Standing In musically. Lead guitarist, mania was what made Def Duran. One of the first Leppard a household name. The Dark" and "It Doesn’t groups to fully embrace the Eddie Van Halen, is an elec- Really Matter." Worth a listen tric guitar virtuoso and is Make sure to check out the music video, their new wave singles, "Photograph," "Too if you want to experience the sound and focus on fashion famous for his unique style best of times and the worst (listen to "Eruption" on the Late For Love," "Foolin," and and style fit perfectly into the "Rock of Ages." of times in 80’s Canadian culture of the early 80’s. album, Van Halen). It also music. "Planet Earth," "Girls on marked the end of David Lee U2 - War Film," and "Careless Memo- Roth as the lead singer and Ah Ireland - there is more to This is just a sampling of ries" mark their ascendance many critics and fans alike you than leprechauns and to icon status. could never get used to pots of gold. U2 has gone on Sammy Hagar as Van to great commercial suc- Prince - Purple Rain Halen’s new vocalist. 1984 cess, but their album, War In 1984, Prince released the remains one of the classic captures a band in their in- album and the movie of the hard rock albums of all time, fancy; it is the wellspring that same name. His ability to and how can you beat the all other U2 albums evolved combine musical styles like album cover which captures from and established U2 as R&B, funk, and soul resulted the irreverent style and a musical group with a politi- in one of the most memora- sound of this group? Don’t cal conscience. Bono, The ble albums of the decade. miss songs include "Jump," Edge, Adam Clayton, and Volume III, issue ii Page 11

Get Your Freak On This Fall With Latest Trends Summer’s out the window, those days." Also, they 5. Leather: Speaking of people, and those short- work well over those leather, whether it be shorts, flip-flops, and, of tank-tops that you just fake of real, it has course, those miniskirts that can’t seem to tuck been officially declared look more like band-aids away. “in” for this fall. Faux each year, should be follow- fur has also been de- 3. Scarves: I’m not talking suit. It’s time to embrace clared "in" (by numer- ing those big chunky fall, with comfy cardigans, ous fashion gurus) but winter scarves that our bold accessories, and, yes, in my opinion, fur isn’t moms insist we wear as practical for school boots! before taking a single (Left to right) Hailey: as it is on the run-ways. Check out her boots. Top Six Trends: According step out of the house Emillee: Sporting the to moi… when it’s not really that 6. Boots/Bold Accesso- skinny jean. Emma: cold out. I’m talking rize: Chunky bracelets, Working her cardigan 1. The skinny jean: Yes, about those sophisti- thick-strung necklaces, and fall colours very it’s been in for quite well. cated ones that were and huge rings really some time now, but such a hit in the spring; help to give an added this fall put away those it’s time to pull those personal touch bright colours and set- to the look of tle for your dark blues, out again. your choice. blacks, and especially 4. Plaids: Plaid shirts Boots will always your greys. It’s true, definitely give a laid- be a fall must- grey is in again, at least back, cool style to any- have. Not only for the skinny jean that body who wears them. do they keep all It’s crazy how many is. your toes warm different ways you can 2. Cardigans: These are and cozy, but work this look: with a MUST! Why? Because they can literally tights, any kind of you can throw them be worn with skinny jean, boots, over practically any- EVERYTHING, heels, leather jackets, Jeannine: She’s rocking it out in thing; believe me, they’ll what can I say, whatever, it pretty some definite fall colours come in handy when boots complete it (brown and green for those of much works. you not reading this online). you’re having "one of all.

Guys: When it comes to guy fashion there isn’t too much to say, I mean, it’s not like you guys like to wear accessories, or plan “shopping- dates” with your best guy friends, (or do you?) So here are just a couple of different looks that may work for you: 1. If you’re trying to go for the sophisticated, more mature guy-look, then cardigans are for you. Throw a cardigan over plain or graphic tee, some dark blue jeans, and black shoes complete the look. 2. If you’re going for the laid back, but still cool guy-look, then I would suggest the jeans of your choice topped off with “The Careem: Standing next to a Henley” which is basically a semi-casual/semi-formal shirt. You can throw any friend, has the guy look down. kind of jacket over this look. 3. Lastly, if you’re going for the normal guy-look, I’ve noticed that it's basically baggy-ish jeans, a logo-tee with a loose plaid shirt over top, and basketball shoes.

So there you have it, fashionistas, until winter that is... stay breezy, Sutherland. -Charla Lewis Page 12

Tuff and Underrated

Sutherland’s boys of Sutherland. His first second half and eventually Bantam Boys’ impressions about them won the game 29 – 21, Rugby team has were, they are “very ath- snapping the Sabres’ winning been under the letic, competitive, keen to streak. “It wasn’t our best radar for 5 learn, and oh! They are effort”, Mr. Thornhill ex- games. We, The tough as nails.” Mr. Thorn- plained, “but if we play them Sabre Trooth, hill pointed out that their again, we should be able to heard that the weakness is that they don’t take that game back.” I also team had an have very many big guys, but asked the players for their undefeated re- he’s happy that there is a comments about their loss... cord of 4-0, so bunch of “fast and athletic Let’s just say their com- we decided to players who can score a lot ments were not as consid- cover the team! of try’s (for those who don’t erate as Mr. Thornhill’s. Unfortunately, I know: a try is the term used We’ll just have to see how Battling for the Ball was a little too for scoring. It’s like a touch- they bounce back in their late in my research as I found down when talking about next game. out that the team’s undefeated football). Two major con- record no longer existed. Prior tributors are Graddy This is a very exciting and to their loss to the Mulgrave Zubaidi and Adrian Vin- “By the way competitive group of boys. Titans, the team won four cente. He stated that “they They may only be Grade 8’s, ladies, they’ve straight games against Seycove, can impress by being able to but they sure are tough. So Balmoral, Rockridge, and Win- outrun and run through come out and support Suth- been dsor. Despite the loss, their defenders,” but the team’s erland’s Bantam Boys’ Rugby record of 4-1 still gives Suther- success is clearly a full team team… Oh! By the way, complaining land a very good reputation. effort. ladies, they’ve been complaining about not having about not I had the chance to interview No one likes losing, but I’ll any cheerleaders ;) having any their coach – probably the busi- give you the dish on what est man on earth – Mr. Thorn- happened. The Sabres led at -Kim Garma cheerleaders.” hill. He had a lot of positive halftime 14 – 10. However, things to say about these “tuff” Mulgrave came back in the

Cross Country Adventures

Sutherland has a bundle of and 9’s had to run a lengthy meet coming up, dedicated athletes called the 3.2 kilometers and the jun- before the BC Cross Country Club, led by iors and seniors had to sweat Playoffs, on Octo- the equally dedicated and ath- out a longer run of 5.12 km. ber 21 at Rice Lake letic Ms. Watt. This year’s Despite the difficult condi- at 4:00 pm. This is a perfect op- Who’s up for a Run? Cross Country team is very tions that the participants portunity to show your Sabre competitive as you can find had to run through – such as Pride and support our Cross Country runners. And also, them in various meets scat- running through forests, as don’t miss the BC Playoffs at Don Ross / Brackendale in tered all over the North one athlete, Chandler Squamish. If you want to join Cross Country … well I’m Shore. I had an opportunity to McCorkindale explained to sorry it’s too late. But don’t fret! There’s track in spring chat with a couple of the run- me – the team endured it and according to Morgan Hansen (Cross Country runners during their last meet with determination and with ner), “Running’s great! Come join track.” Also, the Sun which was at Loutet Park. I no complaints. Run Team starts training in early February! found out that the grade 8’s They still have one track -Kim Garma Volume III, issue ii Page 13

Return of the Sutherland Swim Team: An Overview After an absence of approxi- lent at the breaststroke and, mately two years from Suth- although she is not on a erland's fall athletic pro- team outside of the school gram, this September saw team at this time, used to the return of the Sutherland swim for the Mackay Acad- swim team. emy team while living in Australia. Jennifer (Grade The swim team was suc- 12) is competative swim- cessfully restarted as result ming for the first time, but of Curtis Platson’s mom, already has a love for the who asked people she knew backstroke. The last two from the school who were members, Max (Grade 9) summer swimmers if they and Laura (Grade 9) both wanted to be a part of a swim for the Chena Swim swim team at Sutherland. Club (a winter swim club). She then approached Mr. After a long day of swimming... best effort in competed McGowan, the current prin- all of their events. before an idea of how they cipal of the school, and was Practices for Sutherland’s In any case, the Sutherland work. The regional meets able to arrange for the re- swim team are held on swim team has made their are semi-final meets that turn of the team. The Tuesdays and Thursdays at triumphant return, and have a large number of teacher sponsor is Ms. Bel- 6:00 am at the William Grif- great things can be expected schools within a certain fry, one of Sutherlands’ fin Pool. Training consists of from the team and its as- region of British Columbia French teachers. Her reason swimming lengths as well as compete against one an- for sponsoring the team? sorted members this year. performing drills to improve other. The provincials are "To provide an opportunity technique, and practicing finals where swimmers for those students inter- starts and turns for each of What makes a swim from across the province ested in competitive swim- the strokes, arguably one of compete against one an- ming at Sutherland to per- meet? the most important parts of other for fame and glory. form in high school compe- Of course, the question that any given race. One popular In order to qualify for the titions." Volunteering her seems to be on everyone’s exercise is to race in prac- regionals, a student must time to coach the team is minds is "just exactly how tice relays, where swimmers compete in one of the ex- Maddy Walters, a Grade 12 does a swim meet work?" must swim two laps each hibition meets. To qualify student from Argyle who This question is understand- before the next swimmer for the provincials, a swim- swims for the North Shore able given that swimming is enters the water. On top of mer must place in the top Winter Club’s summer a more obscure sport than this, these early morning three or six in any event at say, cross-country, and swim club, the Marlins. workouts are a nice way to their regional meet therefore the general public start the day and a great (numbers vary by region). might not know what a However, C swimmers The swim team itself con- way to stay in shape. "swim meet" is. Thankfully, compete in exhibition sists of six members: Bryan this question isn’t difficult to meets only, and A swim- Wood, Curtis Platson, Jes- On Oct 4, the Sutherland answer. mers aren’t allowed to sica Caleta, Jeffifer Danica swimmers attended their compete in the exhibition Pazcoguin, Max Jones, and very first swim meet of the Laura Barakova. Bryan First of all, swimmers are meets. season at the Harry Jerome (Grade 12) and Curtis split into three groups based Rec Center. Bryan, Curtis, (Grade 9) both swim for the on their level of training and Jessica and Jennifer were Events at the meets gener- North Vancouver Cruisers skill. These groups range present at the meet, and ally consist of swimming during the summer and are from C swimmers who’ve over the course of two one of four different accomplished backstrokers. never competed in a speed hours everyone gave it their Jessica (Grade 9) is excel- swimming race before, to A strokes: fly, backstroke, Cont. pg. 14…. Page 14

Return of the Sutherland Swim Team: An Overview (Cont’d) breaststroke, and freestyle. As well, there is the racing against the other kids in individual medley (IM), which consists of swim- the pool. Like so many other ming all four strokes in a specific order, and the grand sporting events over the relays, which are races between teams of four years, your position at the end of from each school. These events are swum in a the race determines what place specific order, alternating between girls and boys you come in, so you are generally events throughout the evening. Normally, a gunning for first. swimmer can only compete in up to four events per meet. -Bryan Wood

The actual races are timed events, with swimmers competing against one another individually. These events are as much about the swimmer improving his or her best times as it is about

The Sabre Trooth...Now in Colour

Alright, so now we got the good question. The answer should be. If you’re not though, we have a Sabre Trooth in col- to that question is simple, final proposition, if you read the paper online our...that’s right. There’s a you can see the paper in you will get…a great sense of joy! Please, catch though...I know, I FULL FORM! So when you check it out, we promise it’ll blow you mind. know, but it’s not a big get home and think, I wish I To make it even easier, we’ve provided you catch. The catch is, it’s only could read the Sabre Trooth in colour on the Sutherland online. Well now you can! with the link: website. Now I know what It’s absolutely brilliant.! Not http://www.nvsd44.bc.ca/SchoolSites/ you’re thinking, “why would only can you read the most Sutherland/News/The%20Sabre% I want to look at the web- recent issue, but (almost) all 20Trooth.aspx site when I’m not in the old issues as well! Not school?” Well that’s a very convinced yet? Well you Thanks a bundle, -Sabre Trooth Staff

QUESTIONS? This story can fit 75-125 COMMENTS? words. Selecting pictures or graphics is CONCERNS? an important part of adding content to your newsletter. ARTICLE? Think about your article and If you have any of the above drop ask yourself if the picture sup- ports or enhances the message us a email at: you’re trying to convey. Avoid selecting images that appear to [email protected] be out of context. Microsoft Publisher includes thousands of clip art images from which you can choose We won’t bite Volume III, issue ii Page 15

Grad Retro Day... The Sabre Trooth

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