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The Southern Midwest’s Largest Gay & Lesbian News Source! April 2014 Edition Now Serving Indiana Ohio Kentucky Illinois Michigan Iowa & Tennessee It’s (Juried) Show Time At Kinsey BLOOMINGTON, Ind.—For some of the most fascinating, interesting (and erotic) art make a note to head for Southern Indiana 16th May as the world-renown Kinsey Institute invites the public to attend the opening of its 9th annual Juried Art Show held at the Grunwald Gallery on the IU campus. This exciting contemporary art exhibition provides artists from Indiana and throughout the United States, Canada, and beyond with the opportunity to show artworks that may be too erotic or sexual for display in most other galleries or museums.

This year nearly 700 artworks were viewed by the jury which selected approximately 100 pieces for the show on the themes of sex, sexuality, gender issues, reproduction, sexual politics, and the human figure. The pieces represent a wide range of media including photography, painting, sculpture, prints, drawings, fiber pieces and video.

This year’s show opens with a public reception on Friday night, 16th May from 6 to 8. This free event, which always attracts a large and enthusiastic crowd, includes Gay Rodeo Exhibit a catered buffet and cash bar. Attendees are encouraged to vote for their favourite artwork, as the artist whose piece gets the most votes will receive the Gallery Visitors’ Continues @ Eiteljorg Choice Award. Cash prizes are also given out for Best in Show and the Curators’ INDIANAPOLIS—There’s still time to explore Choice Award. Please Continune On Page 59 the role of gay cowboys in a new show, Blake Little: Photographs from the Gay Rodeo, at Plan To Dine, Indianapolis! the Eiteljorg Museum of American Indians and Western Art, a show which marks the first time INDIANAPOLIS—Mark your calendars for Dining Out for Life, Indy’s largest dining this exhibition, which tells the story of an often fundraiser, coming up 24th April. As of presstime for this issue of The Word, 45 restaurants in the Metro Indianapolis area were set to donate 25%, 50% or even 100% ignored part of American Western culture, has of their day’s sales to fight AIDS. And it’s as easy as can be for diners. There are no been displayed anywhere. The Eiteljorg plans to special menus or codes to mention — simply dine out and you can help fight AIDS. travel Blake Little’s photos nationally after the Please Continune On Page Three exhibit closes 13th July.

The Word April 2014 On The Web At: www.thegayword.com Page 1 Page 2 The Word April 2014 On The Web At: www.thegayword.com Grab The Fork & Friends To Dine Out For Life 24th April Indianapolis So you’re not a restaurant owner, but you’d still like to help make Dining Out for Life a success? No Continued From The Front Page problem because as of presstime the Centre was still seeking a few more individuals who can serve as Dining Out for Life, an international event, is actually taking restaurant ambassadors. Those are the folks who staff each restaurant, remind diners about the event when place in 60 cities 24th April and raises money for HIV/AIDS they arrive and serve as representatives for the Centre during mealtimes. organisations in each. Visit diningoutforlife.com/indianapolis for ongoing updates, ambassador info, participating restaurants In Indianapolis it benefits The Damien Centre, Indiana’s largest and more or like The Damien Centre on Facebook (/thedamiencenter) for updates and info. and oldest AIDS service organisation, which is proud to celebrate 20 years of Dining Out for Life. The event directly benefits clients by providing free HIV and STD tests, HIV Care Coordination, and supportive services such as their food pantry, housing, and career development programmes. In 2013 Dining Out for Life raised more than $80,000 for Damien Centre clients, 94% of whom are living in poverty.

Elisa Rogowski, Development Director of the Centre, told The Word, “The Damien Centre’s services are always free to the community, so fundraisers like Dining Out for Life are critically important to making the Centre’s mission a reality. That mission is to assist persons in Central Indiana affected by HIV/AIDS to move forward each day with dignity, and to lead the fight to prevent the spread of HIV.”

So which restaurants will be participating in this year’s event? Check out the ad in this issue of The Word or look up all of the restaurants on a growing list online at www.diningoutforlife.com or www.damien.org where there’s also a map of restaurants. This year’s event will feature a wide range including many returning favourites as well as new participants.

“As our returning Champion Restaurant, Red Lion Grog House will again donate 100% of their day’s sales to The Damien Centre. New to the event this year, Champion Restaurant Labor District Café, featuring ‘throwback casual comfort food,’ will also be donating 100% of sales,” Rogowski noted.

Other returning eateries include Santorini Greek Kitchen, Downtown Olly’s, Metro, Adobo Grill, Punch Burger, Pita Pit Downtown, Forty Five Degrees, Yogulatte and The Greek Islands. New participating restaurants include Beefcake Burgers in Greenwood, Siam Square, a new Pizza King location downtown, Bru Burger, End of the Line Public House and Mama Irma Peruvian.

Dining Out for Life International, hosted by Subaru, collectively raises more than $4 million each year to support local HIV/AIDS Combining Auto and Home is just one of many ways to save. programming. Support for this event nationally has grown to over 250,000 diners, thanks in large part to the efforts of Dining At FARMERS, providing you with multiple ways to save on insurance coverage that’s right for you is Out for Life Spokesman Ted Allen, host of Food Network’s our specialty. Combining policies is yet another way. Call me today to discuss this and other valuable primetime competition series Chopped. Allen will be joined by Pam Grier, actress, advocate and author of the memoir Foxy— My Life In Three Acts, as well as Daisy Martinez from the Food Network’s ¡Viva Daisy! CURRENT SAVINGS ∞ AUTO ∞ HOME ∞ LIFE ∞ BUSINESS ∞ RENTER ∞ COLLECTABLE AUTO ∞ MOTORCYCLE The Damien Centre noted that they are proud to have numerous OFFERS ∞ BOAT ∞ CONDO ∞ PERSONAL WATERCRAFT ∞ MOBILE HOMES ∞ RECREATIONAL VEHICLES local sponsors for this year’s event, including Gold Sponsors Hoosier Park Racing and Casino and Indiana Grand Racing and Casino; Silver Sponsor Indy Pride; Bronze Sponsors Jockamo Upper Crust Pizza, Just Pop In! and Old National Bank; Media WE ARE INSURANCE. WE ARE FARMERS. Sponsors include The Word, Printing Partners, WTHR Channel 13, Entercom Indianapolis, Indy’s i94, 104.5 WJJK and NUVO; 317-351-6933 Spirits Sponsor is Ketel One; and after party sponsor is Talbott Street. JERRY ROSEBERRY Your Local Agent

For the latest up-to-date information, check out our tweets (@ 920 N SHADELAND AVE STE G1A DamienCenter) and Facebook (/thedamiencenter). Follow/like us INDIANAPOLIS, IN 46219-4817 during and after the event for the latest scoop. [email protected] The Word April 2014 On The Web At: www.thegayword.com Page 3 LOUISVILLE’S BIGGEST THUNDER & DERBY PARTIES LADY BUNNY OAKS NIGHT

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The Word April 2014 On The Web At: www.thegayword.com Page 5 eventually splintered off to pursue its own special interests, and still Word later became focused on its own internal identity politics. Comment Even today we are often quick to garner support from others for causes such as gay marriage, but little effort is given to return the favour. In the 1970s activist groups such as “the gay liberation The author of this piece, Chris Conner, was on The Word staff for several years and was front” presented themselves alongside other marginalised groups. an Indianapolis-based event promoter who got his master’s degree at IUPUI. He was born in Mooresville and was a Hoosier until a couple years ago when he moved to get his PhD Today we have turned away from this idea of a unified front. The in Sociology at University of Nevada Las Vegas. He continues to read the paper monthly and offers this set of observations on our previous two editorials about taking ownership result has been divisiveness and internal discrimination. The and getting involved in the community and its various groups and businesses. symbol of the rainbow was chosen by gay leaders in the 1970s for a reason, and it was this: you can hardly have a rainbow with just one colour.

In listening to gay men tell their stories, one of the topics that always seems to come up is discrimination within the gay Ted Fleischaker, Publisher, The Word community based on body type, age, race and other traits. This phenomenon occurs both when we are online and when we are Virtual Community, or Virtually A Community? out in a club or meeting folks at pride or elsewhere. The effect of this is the production of a ‘community’ of gay men in which if you Last month the editor of this paper, Ted Fleischaker, argued that the do not fit their stereotype of “gayness” you are excluded. gay and lesbian culture was fragmenting due to new technologies allowing us to connect with each other in new ways, and because of In the virtual world exclusion takes place on a whole new level. a greater acceptance in mainstream society. I agree with his overall On Grindr we can selectively filter out people based on race, age, argument, but think the argument needs to be explored in a bit body type and a host of other variables. Online profiles contain more depth. statements like: “no fats, no fems, no old dudes, no Hispanics/ Asians/Blacks…”. The purpose of this commentary is to encourage what I feel is a much needed dialogue about the role of the internet in the gay Not only are these statements hurtful, but they promote the idea community. Like many things in our society the internet is both that folks who fall into those categories are not “REAL” gay men. good and bad — and we need to consider both. Social media may have in fact produced some positive changes for the community. Imagine growing up feeling as though you are all alone, going to your first gay club and finding out no one will talk to you because As Ted pointed out last month, social media apps like Grindr have you are a particular category. likely sped up the coming out process and prompted others to come out who would have otherwise remained in the closet. Yet we all Grindr and other social apps have some responsibility for this have stories of nasty encounters with people in the virtual world. attitude. They have given us the tools to subdivide the community and they care nothing about promoting unity unless they can make Social scientists such as Simon Gottschalk, a professor of sociology a profit. They have shown us that there are other fish in the sea at the University of Nevada, point out that technology merely which makes it easy to have disposable relationships, too. embeds itself within the larger cultural context. Repairing the gay, lesbian, bi and trans community likely requires a How the internet is used, and to what ends, depends largely upon cultural shift — one which I see as only possible if our community the larger society. He also notes that virtual communications are becomes more politically invested in causes from which it may not problematic because we perceive ourselves are more anonymous, benefit. causing us to behave in ways we wouldn’t otherwise. So rather than looking at the internet as the direct cause of the decline of Examples which come immediately to mind include issues of trans community, we should view it as a contributing factor. It is a rights, women’s issues and other political causes. I am hopeful, pattern which has only recently been problematized by the internet however, because of late I have started to see more open discussion and the development of social networking apps like Grindr. about this topic.

In my own research as a PhD student at the University of Nevada, One thing that is apparent to me is an issue Ted discussed: the I have argued that the term “community” has always been a loaded institution of the gay club is needed now more than ever. Gay club one. It is a term often used to nostalgically refer to a time when we owners and other gay organisations might, I feel, also benefit from were together as a cohesive unit. The reality is communities rarely learning from history by mobilising themselves to be community form for this purpose and if they do, then they rarely can maintain awareness centres and serving as sites of political mobilisation for that feeling long-term. the community.

The formation of gay communities follows a similar pattern to that This would mean getting serious and doing more than throwing a of ethnic and immigrant communities as a way to fight against party or a parade. We need more efforts like the recent marriage a discriminatory parent culture. The history of the gay, lesbian, equality rallies. As individuals we need to see people as more than bi & trans community tells a lot about the problems of forming just tops or bottoms — more than a means to an end. communities. We need to provide equality and support for all people and not just The gay community first emerged as a unified political front in the twinks, jocks and muscle boys. 1970s alongside other groups fighting for equal rights, and then

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Discounts subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate Property and Casualty Insurance Company: Northbrook, IL. © 2009 Allstate Insurance Company 35989 The Word April 2014 On The Web At: www.thegayword.com Page 9 Page 10 The Word April 2014 On The Web At: www.thegayword.com The Word April 2014 On The Web At: www.thegayword.com Page 11 Page 12 The Word April 2014 On The Web At: www.thegayword.com The Word April 2014 On The Web At: www.thegayword.com Page 13 service professionals, I believe no one needs to get HIV and everyone should avoid it. But I also believe in free will, so when someone tells me they don’t care about getting Outside or giving HIV, I have to concede it’s their life. However, I still encourage these parties to share their status with their partners, get tested frequently, and begin prophylactic The Box treatment if they do test positive. By Dr. Fred Schloemer, LCSW / Louisville Regarding the theory that HIV transmission risk is low with a zero viral load, numerous studies have suggested this. But all of these studies involved heterosexual (Author’s Note: Input for this article was provided by a dear friend, Steve Hoke, subjects. No such research involving gay male subjects has reached the same longtime AIDS survivor and HIV prevention specialist, who lectures widely and conclusions, and most HIV experts still believe some risk exists. appears in the documentary Faces of HIV.) So, Confused Poz Man, to sum things up; because your sex partners are actively Dear Dr. Fred: seeking barebacking, you could be considered free from moral responsibility if they do get infected. However, you’d be on firmer moral ground if you never had sex with them I’m a 30 year old gay male, HIV+ since my late teens, but no symptoms so far thanks at all. to medications. I’m partnered with an older man who doesn’t have much sex drive, so it’s become an open relationship. I’m self-employed and work at home so I have a lot of Because you feel awful afterward, you seem to be creating your own unhappiness by leeway in my schedule. violating your personal values. While this isn’t necessarily crazy or insane, it is self- defeating and you will almost certainly feel better if you stop it. Last year I got on Grindr and went a little crazy. Being able to hook up anytime with all kinds of hot guys went to my head. Some days I had 3 or 4 guys, one after the other, and For help in doing that, I’d strongly suggest that you start therapy and attend a sex hardly got any work done. But then a bad annual performance review brought an end to addicts’ support group. all that and now it’s work before play. I’d also recommend that you consult an attorney regarding your legal liabilities. Even But there’s still a problem − guys contacting me for bareback sex. I‘ve been with some of though your partners did “ask for it,” what if one of them gets HIV and decides to go them and said, “What if I’m HIV+?” Their response: “I don’t care.” So we went ahead with after you legally anyway? it but I felt awful afterward. There have been a number of cases where someone with HIV who had unprotected sex I’m on antiviral meds and my viral load is undetectable, plus I’ve been told the risk of with others was convicted of attempted murder. infection is low in my circumstances. But sometimes I wake up in a panic, afraid I’ve infected somebody anyway. I couldn’t live with myself if I did, even though they said they Meanwhile I admire your desire to behave in safer, more principled ways and wish you didn’t care. the best in your efforts.

I’ve tried to talk to my partner about this and all he has to say is, “you made your bed, Fred Schloemer, Ed.D., LCSW is a gay psychotherapist in Louisville. Write him at now lie in it.” [email protected] So I guess I’m just crazy. I can’t say no when someone wants me to bareback them but I worry myself sick when I do. So far nobody has told me they’ve come up HIV+ but I live in constant fear they will. Please … what can I do to feel and act less insane?

Sign me,

Confused Poz Man

Dear Confused Poz Man:

What a timely query this is as there has been a rising trend in recent years of gay men having unprotected sex. Researchers have posed several possible explanations.

One theory is that many men today care less about infection because effective treatments now exist for managing HIV/AIDS. What they don’t realise is that these treatments also involve taking lots of expensive medications that have lots of negative side effects. In addition, some people find they can’t tolerate the meds at all. So having HIV/AIDS is still no walk in the park.

Another theory is based on studies of young gay men who expressed some surprising ideas about HIV/AIDS – specifically, that getting infected eventually is inevitable, so they’d just as soon do it intentionally and get it out of the way.

Others expressed being motivated by the possibility of collecting disability benefits once infected. There are even online sites where these young men can get guidance on how to get HIV by attending group sex parties and having unprotected sex with multiple infected partners.

Still others expressed feeling that bareback sex is just more exciting for the very reason that it does involve risk.

Whatever the reasons, there is a growing population of gay men who are barebacking and expressing little or no concern over the dangers. I’ve worked both with men who like being barebacked and men who enjoy barebacking others. Our work has focused on weighing the moral-ethical-legal issues involved, and these sessions have always been very challenging ones.

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Page 24 The Word April 2014 On The Web At: www.thegayword.com The Word April 2014 On The Web At: www.thegayword.com Page 25 Page 26 The Word April 2014 On The Web At: www.thegayword.com Later, introducing a feature story on crack cocaine, Burgundy and his team smoke some crack on air as their desperate technical crew try to pull the plug on them. Standard In Alan Partridge, the eponymous DJ manages to lock himself out of the radio station Reviewer during hostage negotiations. Climbing back into the building through an open window, Alan gets his trousers snagged on the window latch, losing not only his trousers but his boxers as well. Locked outside the building once again, he is told to By Bill Elliott / Word Critic raise his hands by an armed policeman who thinks he might be the gunman. Partridge Alan Partridge and Ron Burgundy are fictional media personalities cut from the faces a dilemma: expose himself or find a way to hide his modesty. An expert in poor same dishevelled cloth. Created by comedian and actor Steve Coogan, Alan Partridge choices, his solution is side-splittingly funny. appeared on British television in the 1990s in Knowing Me, Knowing You and I’m Alan Partridge. In the first series, Partridge is a self-absorbed television talk show host, while Later on, having been taken hostage himself on the radio station’s touring bus, Alan in the second he is a lowly radio DJ who longs to get back into the big time. and Pat pass the time hosting a travelling radio show denouncing the station’s new owners. Pat finally learns that it is Alan who got him fired from the station and Alan Ron Burgundy, a character developed by former Saturday Night Live alumnus and locks himself in the bus’s toilet. Breaking down the door, Alan appears to have escaped A-list Hollywood actor, Will Ferrell, is a television newsman whose burning ambition in the most unlikely of places — down the toilet. The ensuing conversation between is to become a prime-time network anchor. The British Partridge and American Pat and Alan has to be seen to be fully appreciated. Burgundy are transatlantic alter egos: self-centred narcissists driven by a need be the centre of attention. Both Anchorman 2 and Alan Partridge make some pointed social commentary about the increasingly monopolistic nature of the media world, and how content and In Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues and Alan Partridge, Will Ferrell and Steve presentation have taken a backseat to branding and ratings. But these are side issues. Coogan resurrect characters who have become cult figures in their respective Both films will be remembered for the funny scenes rather than the social criticism. countries. When the comedy works, both films are hilarious. Even at their cringe-worthy worst, they are more entertaining than the usual comedy fare. Both films hark back to an earlier age. Anchorman 2 is set in the permed, ______moustachioed, and polyester-suited 1970s, while the protagonist in Alan Partridge would be more at home in the same decade than in the present. Burgundy is an over- The Indiana University Theatre in Bloomington, Ind., will present three brand new confident, chauvinistic and self-obsessed peacock; Partridge is insecure, superficial, plays during a mini-festival of works by current M.F.A. playwriting candidates, from and socially awkward but self-deluded enough to think he is a media superstar. Both 28 March through 5 April. Now in its second year, At First Sight will include three full- are insensitive buffoons capable of heart-stopping social gaffes. length plays: The Art of Bowing by Nathan Davis, Lacy and Ashley Live in a Trailer Now by Kelly Lusk and Trigger Warning by Iris Dauterman. When it was released in 2004, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy was one of the most successful comedies of the year. Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues opened Lacy and Ashley Live in a Trailer Now focuses on a lesbian couple whose long-standing in December and was so successful that the filmmakers decided to release a longer, relationship is brought to a breaking point by an old friend who moves into their uncut, R-rated version of the film. small abode. Lacy and Ashley have been planning to get out of the trailer they’ve been occupying for several years when their high school friend, Jimmy, returns to Freed from the constraints of PG language, the uncut version runs amok linguistically. their stomping grounds to rekindle their friendship. His presence and baggage add With no nudity and only a little cartoon violence, the super-sized R-rated Anchorman stress to their lives, but provide the doting Kevin with a hopeful future. The four end 2 manages to circumnavigate political correctness and civility with a boldness that up devising a new plan that will help everyone get what they want. But the question frequently borders on bad taste. remains: do we ever really know what we want?

Picking up several years from where the original left off, Anchorman 2 finds Burgundy IU Professor Dale McFadden directs Lacy and Ashley Live in a Trailer Now. Performing (Ferrell) and his wife, Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate) as successful news are sophomore Todd Aulwurm (Kevin), junior Joe Cadiff (Jimmy), senior Courtney co-anchors at a top TV network in New York City. Anticipating promotion to the six Lucien (Lacy) and third-year M.F.A. actor Andrea Mellos (Ashley). o’clock news, Burgundy is summarily fired for being incompetent while his wife is given the coveted prime-time spot. At First Sight is a unique opportunity for Bloomington theatregoers to see plays of up-and-coming playwrights before they are eventually premiered elsewhere. For more After an unsuccessful spell at San Diego’s Sea World and a botched suicide attempt, information, go to http://www.indiana.edu/~thtr/productions/2013/firstsight.shtml. Burgundy accepts a job with Global News Network, the world’s “first 24 hour news network.” He reassembles his old news team from the first Anchorman film and prepares for GNN’s official launch. For Really Clean Alan Partridge’s career has progressed little since his days as a DJ at Radio Norwich. Now hosting a show called “Mid-Morning Matters” on North Norfolk Digital radio, Partridge learns that the station has been bought by a multinational media Windows, Go conglomerate and is to be renamed “Shape.” After he gets fellow DJ Pat Farrell (Colm Meaney) sacked, his newly unemployed colleague goes on a rampage with a shotgun, taking the station’s staff hostage. As Pat’s only “friend,” Alan is recruited by the police Streak Free! to act as a negotiator during the siege.

In both films, the humour is irreverent, sophomorically crude and politically incorrect. Indy’s Residential & Occasionally, the verbal and physical gags miss the target completely but when they Commercial Window hit, there are moments of true hilarity. Cleaning Service, In Anchorman 2, for example, Burgundy finds his old team’s sports reporter, Champ Offering Power Washing Kind (David Koechner), running a less-than-successful fried chicken franchise called & Gutter Cleaning, Too! Whammy! Burgundy holds up a piece of fried chicken to find it is actually a deep fried bat (wings and all). For The Best View In Town... Call Streak Free! Burgundy’s weatherman Brick Tamland (Steve Carrell) stands in front of a blank green weather board during GNN’s launch and asks, “Where’s the map?” Ron points to a monitor on which a weather map is projected onto the matte screen. Wearing green 889.8017 or 694.4819 trousers, Brick is convinced that he has lost his legs. [email protected] The Word April 2014 On The Web At: www.thegayword.com Page 27 Is a balloon ride on your bucket list? $29 OFF per person, valid for up to 6 people (Ride will be a shared ride if 5 or less in the same party) Visit MidwestBalloonRides.com or call us: 317-863-0318

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Continued From Page 19 By Michael Wright / Edward D Jones If you are reading The Word (in print or online) Ted tells me that there’s a good chance LEGISLATIVE ROSES AND THORNS you are a “millennial” because his average reader is a male in his 20s. If you’re one Indiana’s 2014 short legislative session contained drama and humour just like most of the “millennials” — the generation that began in the early 1980s — you are still in sessions. But for our community there was heightened concern about House Joint the early stages of your career or maybe just starting out so retirement must seem Resolution-3 (nee HJR-6), the marriage discrimination amendment. like a long way off — yet, it’s never too soon to start planning for it. At the same time, though, you may also have shorter-term goals. Can you make progress toward your The destructive amendment was on cruise control to passage: huge lopsided near-term and long-term objectives at the same time? affirmative margins were the order of the day in 2011, the last time it was considered. In 2013, the next time it was eligible, legislative leaders opted to postpone any action Yes, you can — but you’ll need to match your short- and long-term goals with the ap- until the last year of this biennium while the U.S. Supreme Court considered the propriate savings and investment vehicles. For example, one of your most important historic Windsor and Hollingsworth cases. short-term goals may be purchasing a house or condo, so you’ll need to accumulate a certain amount of money by a certain time — perhaps in three to five years. Therefore, Ultimately the amendment was changed making it ineligible for 2014 ballot you won’t want to risk your down payment on an investment whose price will fluctu- placement. On this and other issues, there are multiple “Roses and Thorns” for your ate — and whose value may be down just when you need the money. Consequently, consideration: you may want to look for a shorter-term investment whose objective is preservation of principal. Typically, with these types of vehicles, the shorter the term, the lower First, the Roses: the interest rate — but since your goal is basically to have a certain amount of money available at a certain time, you might be less interested in what return you’ll get on ** To State Reps. Ed Clere (R-New Albany) and Kevin Mahan (R-Hartford City). this particular investment, as opposed to the return you might hope for from other, For different reasons. Clere, because he was the sole legislative Republican to stand longer-term vehicles. with us in 2011. Of course he re-upped in 2014 and he provided valuable advice to In fact, while you are saving for your down payment on your home or for other short- the efforts to derail HJR-3. Mahan flipped his 2011 vote, and went to the podium term goals, you also need to be thinking long term — that is, you need to save as much to explain why: he’d been approached by multiple hometown folks telling them the as you can for your eventual retirement. amendment as written was unfair and mean-spirited. Clere and Mahan were joined by 20 other House Republicans in an historic vote. Since you are still in the early stages of your working life, you have an enormous asset going for you: time. By starting to save for retirement now, you have more time to save **The entire House Democratic Caucus: ably led by Rep. Scott Pelath (D-Michigan than you would if you waited another decade or so. Plus, since you have so many years City) and Linda Lawson (D-Hammond). A solid caucus united front. to go until you retire, you can afford to put a reasonable percentage of your investment dollars into growth-oriented instruments, such as stocks or stock-based investments. **Senate President Pro Tempore David Long (R-Ft. Wayne). He conducted a smooth, They may carry more risk, including the risk of losing principal, but they also offer smart senate hearing in the Rules Committee. When Sen. Jim Delph (R-Carmel) greater reward potential than, say, fixed-income vehicles such as bonds. And holding busted caucus protocol by tweeting the Senate’s vote intentions too early, Long slapped growth investments for the long term can help you look beyond short-term volatility. him with multiple penalties. Rarely is that kind of caucus discipline demonstrated. You can start a long-term investment programme by investing in your 401(k) or other retirement plan offered by your employer. These plans usually offer a variety of invest- And the Thorns go to: ment options, including several growth-oriented accounts. Plus, any earnings are typically tax-deferred, which means your money could grow faster than if it were placed in ** Speaker Brian Bosma. So many reasons, so little space. an investment on which you paid taxes every year. So try to take full advantage of your employer’s plan — at a minimum, contribute enough to earn a match, if one is offered. **Proponents of HJR-3, notably Kelly Fidorek of the Alliance Defence Fund. Out-of- Then, every time your salary goes up, boost your contributions. state blathering. Ineffective. And my favourite witness every time this issue comes up: the female from Texas who prayed away her gay lifestyle. That never gets old. With discipline and perseverance, you can move toward both your distant and immi- nent goals. And that’s the long and the short of it. The Works, an Indianapolis social and health Meanwhile, on 22nd April we celebrate Earth Day — a day devoted to education and club catering to gay and bisexual men, operating action on environmental issues. As a citizen of the world, you may have a keen interest in protecting your physical surroundings. And as someone trying to reach long-term 24-7, seeks responsible and reliable individuals financial goals, such as a comfortable retirement, you’re probably also interested in for both full and part time cash register and gen- improving your investment environment. So here are just two suggestions: eral maintenance/cleaning positions. —Respond to environmental factors. Over the past few years, we’ve had a favourable investment climate, marked by low inflation, low interest rates and generally strong Download application online corporate profits. And investors who have taken advantage of this positive environ- at : ment have, for the most part, been rewarded. But things can change, so it’s always a www.theworksformen.com good idea to understand the current investment environment, as it may affect your investment choices. For example, if it seems likely that long-term interest rates are or call for Brian at (317) going to rise significantly, you might need to review your long-term bond holdings, as 547-9210. their price would be negatively affected by a rise in rates.

—Nurture your investments. One area of environmentalism involves planting seeds or saplings and nurturing them to maturity. You can do the same thing with investments — and a good way to nurture them is to give them time to grow in all investment climates. But how long should you hold these investments? You might heed the advice Competitive wages paid. of Warren Buffett, one of the world’s most famous investors, who says this about his investment company: “Our favourite holding period is forever.” It takes patience to follow the buy-and-hold strategy favored by Mr. Buffett — and it also requires the discipline necessary to keep investing through the inevitable downturns you will encounter. But over the long term, your perseverance may well be rewarded. Page 30 The Word April 2014 On The Web At: www.thegayword.com Out & About Bill Malcolm / Word Columnist

There’s a lot coming up this Spring to keep you busy, so there’s no excuse now to stay inside. —Run/Walk: In Indianapolis, Frontrunners Indy meet Tuesday and Saturdays. Walk- ers are welcome. The third Tuesday of each month (15th in April) is their Tuesday night outing where they meet for dinner after the run, so lace up your shoes and come along. Info: www.indyfrontrunners.org —Tennis: IndyTennis will begin outdoor play on Saturday 12th April at Riverside or Tarkington Parks. The ladder play will start in May. Info: www.indytennis.com The Columbus Tennis Classic takes place 9th - 11th May at the Lincoln Park Court on the campus of Ohio State University. Register by 20th April to take advantage of their early bird discount. And registration is open for the Bluegrass Tennis Tournament hosted by the Talk Tennis Club in Louisville. The tournament runs from 24th through 26th May at the University of Louisville. Register by 13th April to save and note that registration closes 11th May. A draw party will be held 23rd May at the Nowhere Bar. (www.nowherelou- All the major airlines now go to Palm Springs including my favourite, Virgin America, isville.com For more information e-mail [email protected] which flies nonstop to San Francisco (and you can connect to Chicago, Washington, For other clubs and cities, see www.glta.net D.C. and New York. If you are coming out from LA, you can take the train three days a week direct or connect via Fullerton. Tickets at www.amtrak.com During the week, you —Swim: I still do not see much close to home this season, but The Downtown Swim can take the Metrolink train to Riverside then connect to Palm Desert via Line 220 on Club in Toronto has a swim meet 5th April. Details at www.dsctoronto.ca For other the SunLine Bus (www.sunline.org ). The bus is a steal around town (just $1) and one clubs see www.igla.org and if any of you swimmers out there have info, pass it on for of the lines goes within one half mile of the Palm Springs airport. future columns. My e-mail is [email protected] Stay: Bargain hunters will enjoy the Motel 6 Downtown. It’s handy to a Starbucks —Gay Games: They will never get closer as the Gay Games will take place this August and near the bars and restaurants. The Motel 6 East is also nice and is also across the (9th - 16th) in Cleveland/Akron, Ohio. Alongside an estimated 10,000 athletes coming street from the Ace Hotel (where the urban hipsters can be found). The Best Western to Cleveland and Akron, an impressive list of musicians and other performers will be Las Brisas is also downtown and one block from the bars on Arenas Road. The loca- showcased throughout the week and they are looking for more. Application forms are tion and landscaping were great. The Courtyard by Marriott and Hyatt are also nice. available at the games’ website below. Gay resorts on Warm Sands Drive are another option. Check www.tripadvisor.com for For hotels, make your reservations at the Cleveland KeyCenter Marriott which is offer- other hotels. I found rates lower here during the week than at the weekends. ing a discounted rate for reservations made through the Games website. The Comfort What to do: Inn Downtown is also very close to the pool at Cleveland State for the swim competition and thanks to DCAC Swim Club for these tips. Bike: Rent a bike ($20 half-day includes helmet) from Bike Palm Springs, 194 S. Indian Canyon ([email protected] ), and ride around town. Enjoy the modern- Those all-important URLs: istic architecture of many of the homes which have a mid-century design. Ride west to Info on lodging: http://www.gg9cle.com/plan-my-visit/lodging/ More info about the where the mountains start. The city has several marked trails and you can ride all the Gay Games and to register, www.gg9cle.com way out to what the locals refer to as “Cat City” (Cathedral City). Swim: The city pool is $5 and is open from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. every day. It has a great view of the mountains and is also great for sunning. It is located near the library. Run/Walk: The Frontrunners meet every day except Sunday at 8 a.m. (or so) in the Mizzell Centre parking lot. If you like hiking, there is also a Great Outdoors chapter. If feeling adventuresome, hike the strenuous Museum Trail to the Lykken Trail. It starts above the museum. You’ll need to be in good shape. Bring sunscreen and water and start early in the day to avoid the heat. Explore: Don’t miss Joshua Tree National Park. The Park, named for this odd yucca- like tree (yucca brevifolia) is interesting. Take a class from the Joshua Tree Institute (www.joshuatree.org ). Plenty of April classes are scheduled including Geology of the Joshua Tree National Park which runs from the 25th through the 27th. The park is about an hour north of Palm Springs area. The Park features in two deserts (Mojave and Colorado) both with their own types of vegetation. Some wildflowers should still be in bloom. Bring a jacket as it can be cooler up there. Eat: I liked Sherman’s Restaurant downtown (a New York deli with great corned beef). La Tablita has great Mexican Food (on E. Palm Canyon in Cathedral City). Nextdoor try Dragon Sushi (yes same owners). Out & About: Palm Springs, California Bars: The Barracks has a “beer bust Sunday”. Hunters (the video bar) has a happy This month we review Palm Springs, a great little desert city among eight cities in the hour nightly until 7. Hunters is on Arenas Road where you can also find a few other Coachella Valley region now over 400,000 just two hours east of Los Angeles. bars. The Tool Shed on Sunny Dunes Drive is near the Motel 6 Downtown. Also during April is the White Party celebrating its 25th anniversary. Check out www.jeffsanker. Getting There: Fly into the Palm Springs regional airport, PSP, and skip the drive out com for info. Pick up a copy of Palm Springs Life or the Desert Daily Guide or visit from LA (although LAX, Ontario, Burbank, and even San Diego are options). them online for more ideas and local information.

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If you feel that you really want to try and reach him, you could talk to his family and see where they are mentally. Do they feel the same as you? Do they know what’s going on? Will they help you with an intervention? Sometimes families are in denial or have no idea what is going on, so they may not believe you. I know it is hard to believe that someone you love could become addicted to drugs.

If that is the case, then a one-person intervention probably won’t work. Or if the family is enabling and they don’t realise it they won’t admit they are contributing to the problem. Everyone involved in this vicious circle has an issue somewhere and most likely don’t want to admit that they could be a potential factor in harming someone FREE they love. TO LISTEN & If none of that works (or works for you) then cut him off. Stop waiting to see what will REPLY TO ADS! happen. It’s only going to stress you out in the long run. If he is lying to you, then he doesn’t feel comfortable with you knowing what he’s doing. He is ashamed and knows that he will be dissapointing you. He doesn’t worry about his other friends because they are doing drugs with him, so they are in the same shape he is. Don’t hate him for FREE CODE: what he’s doing, but trust that when (and if) he’s ready, he will come to you for help. Or he won’t. But either way you are there, but not present in what he’s doing. Does Indy Word that make sense? For other local numbers call: This is a tough situation and I hope that you find the medium you need to be there for your friend without stressing yourself out too much and without making things too much worse for him. There’s only so much you can do, and he has to be on board, 1-888- too. You can’t change an addict. It is an illness that has to be taken care of. It’s not TM MegaMates anybody’s fault meaning all you can do is love him from a distance.

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By Sheila Suess Kennedy Downtown Living Shadenfruede We Got All The Bases These are interesting times for gay civil rights.

On the one hand, thanks to a skillful campaign and the support of the business Covered! community, Indiana once again dodged a bullet. The proposal to amend the state’s constitution to ban same-sex marriage, civil unions and anything “structurally similar” (Business partnerships? Roommates? Who the hell knows?) was once again kicked down the road and won’t appear on the 2014 ballot.

On the other hand, several states have considered — and Arizona has actually passed (though later vetoed by their governor) — a “religious liberty” law that “protects” the right of “religious” merchants and others to discriminate against gay, lesbian, bi & trans folks. (I have no clue on how the sexual orientation of customers is to be determined…) Arizona legislators evidently believe that requiring businesses and government agencies to treat all customers and citizens equally would be an unspeakable violation of their right to “religious liberty.”

I’m sure this use of religion as a justification for hateful behaviour is infinitely pleasing to their (very small) God.

The Arizona legislation is just one of a number of reactions to a larger — and immensely welcome — social phenomenon. Gay civil rights have come farther, faster, A Taste Of Manhattan In than most of us could have imagined a decade ago, and these eruptions of nastiness can accurately be discounted as tantrums thrown by people who are realising that they’re on the wrong side of history. Downtown Indianapolis!

Still, it’s hard not to let these hateful reactions get under one’s skin, and that brings me to the subject of this column: shadenfruede. *Hardwood floors, “Shadenfruede” is a German word that translates, roughly, to “taking pleasure from the bad fortune of others.” It’s probably the word that best describes my not-at-all-nice *16ft. ceilings reaction to a new study described in a recent issue of The Atlantic. *2 Blocks To Circle Centre Researchers have found that homophobia takes about two and half years off the lives *1 Block To Lilly of those who harbor such sentiments. *Supermarket Within 1 Mile “Previous research has shown that the stress hormone cortisol increased in white people with high levels of racial prejudice when they were interacting *Easy Interstate Access with someone of another race. And a different survey found that having a high level of prejudice against black people was linked to higher mortality rates in *Free Indoor Parking Included whites.

“In a new study, published in American Journal of Public Health, researchers at Columbia University and the University of Nebraska looked at whether anti- Rents From Just gay prejudice could similarly be linked to mortality...” $775-$1800 Monthly And guess what? It could. Immediate Occupancy! The researchers controlled — and ruled out — factors like socioeconomic status, health and demographics. They also controlled for racial prejudice and religiosity, both of which have been strongly linked to anti-gay prejudice in previous studies.

Previous research — especially the “gold standard” General Social Survey — has established that homophobia is more prevalent among people who have less education and who profess conservative ideologies. (In other words, as individuals become more educated, they become less conservative and less likely to take anti-gay positions.)

Bottom line: even after controlling for demographic factors, the study found a “significant association” between homophobia and earlier mortality risk. “The difference in life expectancy between those who expressed prejudice and those who did not was 2.5 years. The researchers also looked at specific causes of death — Call homophobia was linked to cardiovascular-related deaths, but not cancer.”

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The Word April 2014 On The Web At: www.thegayword.com Page 43 realised I didn’t know what opera the Met was doing (and unable to go to their site to find out) so I just turned on my radio. And I had to consult a cookbook on paper for a Hackin’ recipe I’d planned to make that night, too. The Net But we got through. It was fun and in many ways reminded me of the days when we did not have laptops, tablets, computers or cellphones...when long distance from land lines was $8 or $10 for three minutes and when we actually used pens, paper and By Ted Fleischaker / Word Publisher wrote letters. If their content was vital, we’d spring for 35¢ and send them “Special Several different topics this month, starting with a question: Is there ever a time not to Delivery” (which has not existed since 1997 in the U.S. — a fact we know because we be connected? If so, when? “Googled it”) or we’d just wait a few days until they arrived for the then cheap price of 7¢. Early day “technology” I and many friends practiced was sending “living letters” . The question comes to mind as a few weeks ago, in early March, the 5th annual That’s when we’d sit in front of a cassette recorder mic and “tell” our friends Keith or National Day Of Unplugging took place (www.nationaldayofunplugging.com) and for George (or mom or grandma) whatever we wanted in our own voices, then pack up the first time, two of the three of us living at our house participated. Truth is, the day the tape and mail it to them. It still didn’t arrive for a few days, but in some ways was was uneventful, aside from a friend who called on my land line three times to be sure I more personal than typing on a paper or writing a post card. was OK as I was not answering his texts, despite telling him for three days prior what I was up to. Anyway, you don’t have to wait until next March to unplug and if you didn’t take part in the national day this year, you can declare your own day (or partial day) of The premise for the day is easy: we are all so connected everywhere 24/7 that a unplugging anytime you wish. Just be sure to let your friends know you won’t be national group called Reboot (www.rebooters.net) came up with the idea to get us to available so they won’t worry if you do not immediately text or Facebook back. In actually relax...or to try speaking face-to-face...or to make time for a project or two we some ways it’ll be a novelty and in others it will seem like a lot of effort, but it will have put off because there never seems to be enough time for everything — time we give you (guaranteed) a new appreciation for or loathing of how connected we’ve all often “waste” on extra texts, Facebook or Tweeting. become. That I promise! The “day” picked is actually 24 hours, but following in the Jewish tradition, it’s a Friday On another topic... To update or not to update: That is the question. What I mean by night and Saturday — sundown to sundown that is the almost continuous barrage of apps, operating system “bug fixes” and just — which in our part of the world was about changes to everything from our mobile phones to our computers, Xboxes, PlayStations 6.45 Friday evening until the same time the and more which seem to be coming at us from all sides almost daily. Should you next. As the hour grew near to actually switch update? A recent iPhone and iPad update to OS (Operating System) 7.1 brought a lot off I will confess some second thoughts, but of calls from friends asking “Should I do it?” and “Do I need to do it?” My answer to all I did pull the plugs. I turned off my iPhone, was a single word: Yes. iPad and computer. Goal of the day is not to disappear from the world or have the world Of course there are updates and there are updates and not all of them are anymore disappear from us, but to be just a bit less alike than saying a shoe is a shoe, when you can have anything from a sneaker to a connected to allow time for other things like soccer boot to a golf cleat. Some updates are to add features to this or that app or face-to-face meetings and family. programme. Others are for security or to close a “hole” which could allow someone access to your information. Still others are to incorporate new information or change At our house that meant starting with a something you might not use, but others count on — like a recently released update relaxing phone-free dinner. We do have a land to, amongst other things, fix an issue in Mandarin Chinese. It’s a language I do not line which stayed plugged in as it was mobile use nor speak, but apparently the app using it was wrong or crashing, so the author devices the day suggested we refrain from, made some fixes and issued an update. Of course, the most vital updates are those though we had only five calls the whole 24 pointing to security breaches. A recent one fixed iPad and iPhone issues which Apple hours on the land line and three were from discovered. Others are less obvious, but still, important. that worried friend. So what to do to update? First and foremost, a tech at a local shop screamed this when After dinner we met the challenge of we asked his advice: “Back up your device!” It doesn’t matter if that back up is to your “entertainment” by watching a bit of off-the- computer, the “cloud” or an external drive. Back up. Save those 23,962 photos you love air TV with our old antenna — we don’t have to show and all 29 hits by Billy & The Bing Bongs you work out to. Backing up means satellite or cable and usually watch streaming you will be certain your device can be restored once you have updated. Hulu, Netflix or TV from our Slingbox in the UK, all off limits this day — and then we showered and went to bed with the radio on the local public station. It made for an Once you have backed up, plug in. If you have a phone, pad or laptop, plug it in to the early night and a surprisingly relaxing one. wall charger so it won’t run out of power during the update and resetting procedure. Next morning, instead of breakfast in the home office in front of a screen, we pulled It’s amazing how obvious this sounds but it’s not something any of us think about. out the breakfast table and shared conversation over our cereal, grapefruit and toast, To avoid a mess (think half an update when the battery dies) plug in then follow the followed by one of us trotting off to work while the other spent a couple hours getting directions given. Usually your phone, pad or computer will pop up a screen asking you papers ready for the CPA and taxes — something we’d been putting off for weeks. to agree to their terms of use (Does anybody REALLY read all that?) and then clicking After a bite of lunch, there was time for a snooze while listening to Saturday at the “OK”. After that, the device usually takes over for you and does the updates. Metropolitan Opera on the old fashioned radio and just enough hours left to pick up a book we’d started months before but never found time to finish. It was amazing how Be warned that some updates take a lot of data space, like the recent iPhone one to OS quickly 6.45 came around and, when we booted back up, how many friends had texted 7.1 which even on our fast WiFi was well over an hour to download, then there was and left us messages during our off-the-grid time — most of them positive. time to allow the phone to go through its updating restarts. That means don’t start an One did say “Good you are doing this, so there will be more bandwidth for me!” but update 10 minutes before you dash out the door or will be needing your device. And that wag was a definite exception. A few were texting at mid-day, amazed that we one more tip from someone who’s had this happen: Use the old app or system till you were not giving in and we’d been able to “make it” for a whole 24 hours. And most of get back home if you are heading out for a trip where you will be depending upon the the rest were pretty evenly split between complimentary and envious that we’d done computer, pad or phone. You might not have the latest OS or the super newest app, but it, finished and did not fall off the face of the earth or die from being out of constant if your phone/pad/computer is operating correctly, then leave it be until you get back to touch for a whole day. home base. Then do the update so that if something doesn’t work quite right, you’ll be better able to get repairs or restores (from that back-up, remember?) made easily. Will we be doing this again before next year? Yes, probably, because it was fun, interesting and exciting to take part in a national effort, but it also was sorta nice not So there’s our advice: Stay up-to-date or eventually those “old” apps will not function to be “in demand” for a whole day. Will we do it every week or too often? Likely not and may crash the phone, pad or computer. That’s aggravating, possibly a security because there’s a lot to be said for the net and the connections we take for granted. danger and definitely not something any of us wish to endure, especially since they At least twice during that Friday dinner I reached for the phone to “Google” a topic always (100% always) quit when we most need them. Guaranteed! we were discussing only to find no phone where it usually “lives”. And the next day I Page 44 The Word April 2014 On The Web At: www.thegayword.com Photograph by Kevin O. Mooney

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r a L C e t t t n h e e 2 c d a mie n

Page 50 The Word April 2014 On The Web At: www.thegayword.com Maybe it’s by default or perhaps it is by design but it does appear that as a community we live in a seemingly impenetrable rawhide bubble. However, at some point, the Panther’s outside world does invade our sacred sphere and we will have to deal with that Perspective intruder. The source of the intrusion or the nature of the intruder isn’t as important as the fact By Panther Daddy / Word Columnist that this interloper, no matter how hard we resist, will make it’s presence known. Sometimes, it is subtle, other times, very abrupt, but it will get your attention, like Sometimes, it seems that involvement in the world of leather, fetish and kink provides electrodes on the genitals. us some type of insulation and separation from the rest of the world. There are parties, events, contests and such taking place all over the globe for what seems like 24/7. I’ve For a few of us with some mileage on our chassis, HIV was that attention grabbing seen discussion after discussion about what it means to be a kinkster, what are the interloper. Much like the Kink Community now, the overall gay community had qualities that make a true leather man/woman, what’s the appropriate protocol for found a new kinetic energy. Post Stonewall, there was a gigantic push to celebrate our addressing a Dom or a Sir. collective and individual selves. No longer did we have to feel ashamed — we were about the business of living openly, free and proud. Classes abound on bondage, knife play, flogging, boot blacking and the joys of puppy- hood. We vie for titles, sashes and positions of authority and leadership and in some Pride parades and social/political organisations began to proliferate on the landscape. cases, throw each other under the bus if it will get us what believe we want or have to We encouraged each other, loved each other and adored each other. Then, enter the have in order for us to feel whole. specter of HIV and the entire community was forced to take a step back. Collectively and individually, we were forced to interact with each other in ways that required us to consider, not just who we were as a lesbian, gay, bi & trans collective. We were also forced to explore and examine who we are as human spiritual beings.

Many rose to the occasion, working hard to develop programmes and services that would help minimise the pain and hurt. The care and the needs of those who had picked up the physical retrovirus forced us — positive and negative alike — to take a much deeper inward journey. Losing friends and family members at an alarming rate, attending six or seven funerals a month and then coming home and caring for a partner was a daunting, draining, emotional roller coaster.

It was a time when, literally, we were forced to look at the person in the mirror and evaluate if we liked the reflection. Those of us who had the strength and the courage to not blink or look away discovered parts of ourselves that we didn’t know existed. Along with the fear, anger and betrayal, we found compassion, strength, courage and resolve to be different, better people. We discovered the difference between standing out and being outstanding. We learned that being outstanding is far more powerful and long- lasting than standing out.

The Kink Community is quickly approaching a similar tipping point on the cycle of life. We have found a renewed energy. We are prolific in our celebrations and events. We admire, adore and vilify our title-holders and community “leaders”. We parade our new-found freedom in parades, hotel lobbies and contest venues. We wear outfits that we believe tell the world who we are collectively and individually. We fight, argue and struggle to be the admired and adored among our peers; to be the person who stands out. However, as history does have a rather nasty penchant of repeating itself, one day there will be an interloper invading our current bubble. Who knows what that will be and who knows when that will take place. One thing is for certain: when that time comes we will be forced to make a choice. In reality, whether to stand out or be outstanding is a choice we make every day. From my perspective, when we choose outstanding, the rest takes care of itself. — Panther Daddy ([email protected])

Upcoming community events: —5, 12, 19 and 26 April, Kink Leather events at 501 Eagle, Indianapolis. (www.501eagle.com) —5th April: Leather/Pup/Kink night @ On Broadway Bar, Cincinnati, 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. —11th-13th April: BearExpo2@ Menjo’s, Warren, Michigan —13th April: Tri-State Fundraiser @ Crossings Lexington, 6-9 p.m. —14th April: Leather Libations@ Below Zero Lounge, Cincinnati, 6 to 8 p.m. —24th-27th April: CLAW 2014, Cleveland (www.clawinfo.org)

If you would like your event posted in The Word, please e-mail me the names/dates and web address to [email protected]

The Word April 2014 On The Web At: www.thegayword.com Page 51 Even more amazingly, only a quarter of Americans believe Jews are friendly toward lesbian, gay, bi & trans people and a third believe we are unfriendly and 41% do not Guest know or refused to answer the question. Comment Jews are perceived by non-Jews to be only one point friendlier than evangelical Christian churches and six points less friendly than African-American churches; when in reality Jews are much more friendly than either of those two groups. By Billy Glover / Gay Historian The size of the gap between Jewish support for gays and these two church groups (EDITOR’S NOTE—We often hear of anti-gay comments made by so-called “religious” is a giant 56 points when compared to evangelical Christian churches and 48 points leaders, so this month we split our comments between a rabbi and an Ohio commenta- compared to African-American churches. tor, both with interesting outlooks from their religions to share. As always, comments are welcome at [email protected]) Finally, I should point out that The Union of Reform Jews was the first national religious organisation in the United States to accept lesbian, gay, bi & trans Jews Lead Nation Accepting Gay Marriage congregations as equal members. This may be the reason that all of the lesbian, gay, bi & trans synagogues and temples in North America have so many non-Jewish members. By Rabbi Allen S. Maller (EDITOR’S NOTE—Ted Fleischaker, The Word’s publisher, and his partner of 21+ years Ivan Howard were married by Rabbi Eric Bram at Indianapolis Hebrew Congregation The Public Religion Research Institute (PRRI) released (in February) a new study on the 4th of July 1996 and afterwards became the first male/male gay couple to become of a decade of changes in attitudes on lesbian, gay, bi & trans-related issues which family members of the temple. While their marriage was (and still is) not legal in Indiana, revealed a 21-point jump in support for same-sex marriage from 2003, when one-third it is considered “legal” by the Reform movement and when filling out their marriage (32%) of Americans supported same-sex marriage, to 2013, when a majority (53%) of papers Rabbi Bram made a note in pen. Next to where it says “under the laws of the State Americans did. of Indiana...” he added “as they should be”. Rabbi Bram passed away in the Fall of 2010 and Ted & Ivan are still patiently waiting for the laws of Indiana to be as the rabbi hoped The PRRI study, “A Shifting Landscape: A Decade of Change in American Attitudes they should be. about Same-Sex Marriage and Lesbian, Gay, Bi & Trans Issues” found that of all the identified religious groups in the poll, Jews are more supportive of same-sex marriage For more on the survey and the author of this item, Rabbi Maller’s website is: rabbimaller. than any other religious group. com)

Thus, 83% of Jews favour allowing gay and lesbian couples to marry legally compared What a Time to Be Alive! to 73% of those with no religious affiliation, 62% of white mainline Protestants, 57% of Catholics, 46% of Hispanic Protestants, 35% of Black Protestants and 27% of white Brother Michael Childs BSCD / Jubilee Cincinnati evangelical Protestants. “Proclaim Jubilee Throughout The Land”! It is an amazing time to be living. Who Moreover, 58% of Jews strongly favour allowing gay and lesbian couples to marry (a would have thought that we would live in a day when being gay would be accepted by full 22 points higher than the next highest category, the religiously unaffiliated). society. For so many years so many suffered brutal persecution and abuse because of their sexual lifestyles and who they chose to sleep with. Now society is changing. Oh Amazingly, Jews are only three points behind lesbian, gay, bi & trans Americans in yes, there is so very much yet to do and we dare not rest on our laurels, yet there is an their own support of marriage equality (86%). excitement in the air as a move for drastic and dramatic change permeates our land. Within just a short amount of time — just a matter of weeks — we have seen seven at- torneys general from seven states say they will not challenge rulings by federal judges in favour of the freedom to marry. Many of those are southern states with strong conservative backgrounds. Texas, seen as the buckle of the Bible-belt, was one of those states. This state is the home of Pastor Robert Jefferts, pastor of the massive First Bap- tist Church of Dallas. He has been more than vocal in his stiff opposition to the gay, lesbian, bi & trans community. Thus to see Texas refuse to challenge marriage equality makes a major statement. On top of this, the first same-sex marriages in the Lone Star State took place in Dallas, not far from Pastor Jefferts’ base. On a personal note, my family migrated from North Carolina to Tennessee and on to Kentucky where my father and much of my family was born. Kentucky has always been considered “down home” to all of my family. I was honoured by Governor Jullian Carroll several years ago when I was commissioned a Kentucky Colonel. I am stating all that so you can appreciate how thrilled I am to see that Kentucky has joined the other six states to allow the freedom to marry for those in the community. With the move among states to allow same-sex marriages, some will continue to challenge the legality of the federal rulings. I am sure that not far down the road the matter will have to be argued in the supreme court, and if the court goes for equality under the law, the matter should be ruled in favour of our community. What will be next? I am certain that the next step for the community will be to address the issue of prejudice, discrimination and bigotry. It is already rearing its ugly head and will manifest itself in a variety of areas such as at school, on the job, and even at church. Because of this we are beginning to write a curriculum for a programme dealing with prejudice, discrimination, and bigotry. This “manual” will have lessons, discussion topics, activities, simulations, journal topics and more all dealing with these issues and how to overcome them. While the issues will be seen as coming from a variety of areas, the church will not be excluded. Many churches have members who are still having dif- ficulty being accepted. This manual could be a valuable tool in helping them. Along with this manual we highly recommend our workshop program, “United” . This program goes through the manual in an all-day Saturday series of activities and talks, concluding in services on Sunday. This can be a great tool to teach inclusion and acceptance. If you are interested in finding out more about the manual or to schedule a “United” workshop, contact Jubilee at [email protected] or visit our website at www. JubileeCincy.jimdo.com Page 52 The Word April 2014 On The Web At: www.thegayword.com The Damien Center is a proud United Way agency.

The Word April 2014 On The Web At: www.thegayword.com Page 53 here, anyone can become more athletic. You might not think of yourself as an athlete, Medical but, given the chance, your body may be able to do things you never dreamed of. And, you don’t have to be sporty or skilled to reap the impressive benefits of regular Matters exercise. They’re right there for the taking — including more energy, better health and help managing stress. By Phyllis Cross, M.D., M.P.H. & Ted Fleischaker So are you ready to begin moving more and feeling your best? Here are eight strate- There's no way of knowing what life has in store for us. But, there are ways to better gies to help kick off your future in fitness: prepare ourselves and our families — gay and straight. Take advance directives, for example. These documents tell your loved ones what kind 1.) Get a green light. If you’ve been inactive, talk with your doctor before starting an of medical care you'd want if you became seriously ill or injured. They can also say exercise routine. That’s especially important if you’re pregnant, have any chronic con- who would make decisions for you if you couldn't speak for yourself. ditions or have been sidelined by injury or illness. Your doctor can suggest good workout options for you — and give you pointers on how to safely ease into new habits. And, it makes good sense for adults of all ages to create advance directives before a crisis. You'll be able to carefully think through your choices. Plus, you'll be reassured 2.) Put it in writing. Start your journey with a get-fit blueprint. Write out a weekly that your family won't face tough decisions without your guidance. If you are gay or exercise plan. Be specific — it should include workout times and what you’ll do. If you lesbian, it will also help make sure your lover, partner, husband or wife is acknowl- start a fitness journal, this can be a great way to track your progress over time, too. edged in the decision-making, not some estranged sister or a step-dad you have not seen in 12 years. 3.) Pace yourself. Slow and easy is the best way to begin. As your fitness level im- proves, you can gradually increase the length and intensity of your workouts. What’s Here are some basics to help you get started: a good goal for most healthy adults? Aim for at least 2.5 hours of moderate aerobic Q. What are advance directives? exercise a week. And, add strength exercises on two or more days.

A. They are legal documents that outline your wishes for medical care. There are two 4.) Find your footing. Walking is a great workout for beginners. And, it’s one that main types — although the names can vary: many people adopt for life. You can begin slowly — and walk farther or faster as your —A living will states which types of treatments you would or wouldn't want in certain fitness develops. You just need sturdy, supportive shoes and a safe path to follow like situations. For instance, maybe you'd choose a feeding tube if you were in a coma. Or, Indianapolis’ Cultural Trail or one of the many paths in Louisville’s Cherokee and perhaps you wouldn't want a machine to breathe for you if your odds of recovery were Seneca parks.. A tip for inspiration: Try using a pedometer. These simple step-counters slight. can give you a daily goal to meet.

—A medical power of attorney puts someone you choose in charge of making your 5.) Take 10. If you’re pressed for time, exercise in short bursts. Any moderate or vigor- medical decisions. This person is called your health care agent (proxy or surrogate). ous aerobic activity you do for 10 minutes or more can count toward your weekly goal. This document can also be called a durable power of attorney for health care and is especially important in the gay and lesbian community where “family” may try and 6.) Pair up, sign up, show up. Recruit an exercise buddy — or join a fitness class. over-rule what you and your partner have decided to do should either of you become ill You’ll be more likely to stick with your plan when a friend, family member or group is and unable to speak for yourself. counting on you. Frontrunners has chapters all around the area and there are gay and lesbian softball, bowling, swimming and other leagues and teams, too. And remember Q. Do I need both? Cleveland/Akron are hosting the Gay Games this Summer so if you really need inspira- A. It's a good idea. A living will can't cover every possible medical situation. So, nam- tion go this time as a spectator and plan to compete at the next one! See Bill Malcolm’s ing an agent means you'll have someone to speak for you. And, giving your health care column elsewhere in The Word for more suggestions. agent a copy of your living will can help guide decisions so that your requests are followed. In many states, one advance directive form covers both treatment decisions and 7.) Explore new adventures. How about hiking with friends? Or, taking a lesson at a power of attorney, but be sure and see what the case is in the state you call your legal local climbing wall? Sampling a variety of activities — solo or with others — can help home and then abide by the letter of the law to cut down on any possible challenges. you stay motivated and energised.

Q. How should I choose my health care agent? 8.) Make moving a way of life. Walk around the block whenever you take out the trash. A. It's best to identify a primary agent and a backup. They might be your partner, fam- Bike to work. Play a game of basketball or soccer with friends. Take extra trips when ily members, friends or your lawyer. People you trust and who share your views are toting groceries or laundry or take your recyclable cloth bag and then walk to and good choices. But, be sure they're comfortable with the job — and clear about the care from the grocery store. you'd want. Make sure everyone knows what you have in place for that day when the “what if” happens. Finally, don’t give up the cause if you have a setback. That happens to seasoned athletes, too. Just go back to your plan — and start anew. Q. How do I create advance directives? © 2014, United HealthCare Services, Inc. All rights reserved. Reprinted with permission A. Some people work with a lawyer — and there are several with ads in this newspaper, from Healthy Mind Healthy Body where you can register for your own monthly newslet- but you don't have to. Often, you can get the paperwork at a hospital or your local area ter: www.uhc.com/myhealthnews agency on aging, gay & lesbian community centre or from a local HIV/AIDS service provider. Or, download forms specific to your state online at Caring Connections. If you split your time among multiple states, you'll want to fill out the forms for each state you live in just to be sure you have the “right” information. To keep our lawyers happy, be advised that the recommendations which are contained in this column are suggestions, but are not to be taken as Q. What should I do with my advance directives? medical advice. Always consult your physician or a healthcare professional A. Make sure they're signed and witnessed. Give copies to your doctor, the local hos- before undertaking any physical fitness or other exercise programme. pital you do or would use in an emergency and to the people you've chosen as your agents. And, tell your partner and close family members where they can find these forms. Any time you make changes, make sure everyone gets updated documents. On- line services are also available to store these types of files. Where Does The Midwest Turn For Gay Most importantly, be ready — and then rest reassured. & Lesbian News? Discover more free information and resources at myuhc.com. Click "Health & Well- ness." Type "advance directives" into the search box. Right Here, Of Course! On another topic, Karis Day, R.N., writing for United Health notes that with Spring

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Your Partner in Real Estate F.C.F.C. Tucker Tucker Company, Company, Inc. Inc. The Word April 2014 On The Web At: www.thegayword.com Page 57 Page 58 The Word April 2014 On The Web At: www.thegayword.com Music Unique Art Show Corner By DJ "Miss" Hill / MJ's Cafe / Dayton Set At The Kinsey Catch DJ Hill every Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday at MJ’s Café in Dayton. Continued From Page Three Hill’s Top 10. Based on dance floor results and requests (Not what he thinks is hot…) A number of events are scheduled for the opening weekend. An after-party following the Friday night reception will be held from 8 to 11 at The Back Door, a gay and 1 - Pitbull feat Ke$ha - Timber lesbian dance club located in the heart of downtown Bloomington. No cover will be 2 - Katy Perry ft Juicy J - Dark Horse (Mike D Mix) charged for Juried Art Show attendees, and entertainment will be provided.

3 - Jennifer Lopez feat. Pitbull - Live It Up On Saturday, The Kinsey Institute (in Morrison Hall on the Indiana University campus) will offer an open house from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Exhibitions of artwork and 4 - Justin Timberlake - TKO other materials from the famous doctor’s collection will be on display, and visitors will 5 - Pink ft Lily Allen - True Love be able to learn about Dr. Kinsey’s pioneering work in the field of sex research and the institute’s current research programme. 6 - Enrique Iglesias ft Pitbull - I’m A Freak 7 - Demi Lovato - Neon Lights (Cole Plante’ Myon n Shane 54 Mix) A Show and Tell session will follow the open house to give artists from the Juried Art Show the opportunity to discuss their work and careers. This event has been offered 8 - Lady Gaga feat. R. Kelly - Do What U Want for several years to allow visitors to meet participating artists and to hear them relate 9 - Britney Spears - Work Bitch their personal stories about their experiences as makers of art that some viewers may find what organisers term as “challenging”. 10 - Lorde - Royals (Darku J Mix) The Kinsey Institute Juried Art Show opens on Friday, 16th May and continues Hey, kids!!! DJ Hill here. I’m sayin’ the YAY!” It’s April and this month isn’t a “fool”. through Saturday, 12th July, so if you can’t make the opening, do plan to drop by Keep in mind these are just suggestions for those who want to get away from the usual sometime this Summer and take it in. Top 40 radio mixes. Cher - I Walk Alone: Here’s something I can say I like. I got me some adult music. The Grunwald Gallery is open noon to 4, Tuesdays through Saturdays. It is closed Give the Tracy Young Ferosh Reconstruction Remix a try. Sundays and Mondays. The gallery is located on the Indiana University campus at 1201 E. 7th Street. For more information about the show and related events ring Shakira feat. Rihanna - Can’t Remember To Forget You: I have no problem forget- 812/855.7686 or visit the Kinsey Institute web page: www.kinseyinstitute.org ting Shakira. I can’t stand her voice. There’s just something about her that annoys me. Fortunately we have the Razer -n- Guido mix. There’s also the Wideboys Club Mix. But that doesn’t mean I’ll be playing this a lot. Maybe if someone requests it. Britney Spears - Tik Tik Boom: Lord, we’re stuck with another childish tune. Really Britney? When are you going to grow up. I recommend the Wawa Club Mix. Enrique Iglesias feat. Pitbull - I’m A Freak: I want him to prove it. I’d watch that video. I’ve really been getting into Enrique’s stuff lately. And this is one of those. The original can work on it’s own but we get the Dave Aude fix. And wow! It’s all over the place with stabs and stuttering. One of Aude’s better pieces of work. The Cosmic Dawn mix works well too. Air Supply - Desert Sea Sky: Want to see the return of some old farts? I was never a fan in the first place and now they’re making a return? The original is super boring so exactly why the Wideboys felt the need to make a club mix is beyond me. I’ll pass on this one. Beyonce - Partition: I’m not a big fan of Beyonce’s newest album. It lacks in energy. Even the Dave Audé Mix is lacking something. And usually that punches things up. But not on this one. That’s it for now. I’ll be back in May checking out the “May Flowers” and some new music. Check me out at MissHillDJ.com or find me on Facebook under DJ-Douglas Hill. I’d love to hear from you. Happy clubbing!

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Page 60 The Word April 2014 On The Web At: www.thegayword.com We all settle to some degree, but when there are things that we compromise that are trivial, that isn’t settling for what you can get. That’s what we call a relationship. What it comes down to is that there are several components to what constitutes a healthy and relationship. pecs First is the sizzling physical chemistry, of course.

the Second, actual intimacy with the other person; where you feel “at home” when you are with them.

by Matt Ponder Then there is mutual respect, which should be prevalent in any relationship, romantic or otherwise. This goes hand-in-hand with safety, which means trust and security not only for your heart, but also your mind.

And last, but certainly not least, the fun you can have with the person you are with. If Just recently, when I was performing the ultra-glamorous chore of cleaning my any of these five things is absent, than you are settling. Period. And if your relationship basement, I dropped a shoebox and from its interior, my entire love life spilled out. starts to crumble in two or five or ten years you can guarantee it will be because of one of these things is missing. Photographs from years past stared up at me from the floor; smiling faces trapped in Kodak amber. As I picked them up one by one I could feel the times and the places The questions you have to ask yourself before you settle for someone you may not really blooming in my head — the boys who seemed so important to me at one time now want to be with are these: merely reduced to tiny squares of still life history. Looking at the remnants of the past made me realise that most of these guys were merely crushes and infatuations, not the Do you know who you are? paragons of romantic love that I thought they were. Do you know what your self-worth is? And looking at myself in these pictures I realised that at certain times in my life I had compromised who I really was in order to hold on to someone I imagined to be Are you strong enough to be alone while you wait for someone who is really special? important. It made me understand that many times in life we barter with our feelings because we are afraid to be alone. We take what we think we can get because the fear of Are you willing to date different people as you uncover what you truly want from a not being able to find someone makes us do the one thing we should never do: settle for mate? something less than we deserve. And honestly, deep down, is there anyone else you could see yourself with or that you But why would we compromise something as treasured as our heart? In our professional truly want to be with? life we never stand for being passed over for a raise or letting someone else take the credit for our work, so why make concessions in our love life? As a certain fictional writer once said, “Some people are settling down, some people are settling, and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.” Sometimes people say that our expectations can be too high, so we should settle for Mr. Good-Enough instead of Mr. Right. But why? Don’t you deserve to be happy with Love is not supposed to be a dull glow of embers. Love is a roaring fire that consumes someone who makes you feel dizzy and sexy and full of light and laughter? Someone you and heats you up and makes you miss the person that you’re meant to be with at who makes you pant and growl like a wolf when you slide sweaty and naked together? intermittent times of the day. Love means you look forward to seeing the person you are with because you want to see them, not just because they will have dinner ready, or they It’s one thing to want someone who can help you run the household and take care of are taking you to an amazing party or they fixed the leaky faucet that’s been keeping you the dogs and make sure there’s coffee in the cupboard when you need it, but you’re awake. not running a business. Don’t get me wrong— it’s fantastic to find someone who’s responsible and mature enough to know that there’s more to a relationship than Will there be heat between you 24/7? Of course not. But if you step back and think, knocking your socks off in the bedroom. But even if they can cook and remodel and really think, for even a second that you could have done better, the reality is, you contribute to the actual shared wealth of your partnership, what’s the point of staying probably could have. That doesn’t mean the person you’re with is a bad person who with someone if you don’t really, really love them? doesn’t deserve love, it just means they are a good person who maybe deserves someone else’s love. Don’t settle for less than your heart’s desire. Because the minute you settle for When we were younger, we fell into relationships because they were new and exciting. less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for. But when they ended sometimes self-doubt began to grow causing us to settle for someone new because we thought that we couldn’t trust our judgment. And settling became a nightmare tape loop of even more settling.

On the flip side there are the people who settle for someone not because they are attracted to them necessarily, but by what that person can give them.

Financial security, status, even whether or not they would be a good parent to their children. All of these things are great qualities in a person, but without heat, a relationship turns ice cold. Maybe deep down we think that loving someone thoroughly takes a long time, which in some cases it does, but assuming that we can change someone into the person we truly want isn’t going to work. Neither does merely holding out for them to change on their own and become the person you want them to be.

Sometimes you realise you’ve settled after a long stretch of time has passed. But to avoid confrontation and the messy aftermath of a break-up you stay with someone you truly don’t love at all. Sometimes you decide to break free and when you do, you realise that you’re back out in the world of dating: meeting people, finding out about what makes them tick, endless dinners and kisses goodnight... and it can be overwhelming.

An easy solution? Reconcile with the person that you settled for because they’re safe and familiar and there’s no need to get to know them because everything you need to know is already filed in your brain. But is that love?

The Word April 2014 On The Web At: www.thegayword.com Page 61 Gossip Food For Cats Thought By Gossipcats Britain & Sydney By Ted Fleischaker / Word Publisher Ah, April. Tiz that month when not just we cats, but people are fools, too. And a lot A follow-up to last month’s column in which we asked what readers thought of my and my of those fools have been fooling around (and their friends reporting all the antics to friends’ argument as to should we stay or go if we went to a restaurant without a reservation us, too!) so let’s see what we’ve got on our notepad... First off, there’s no foolin’ that and were told the wait would be longer than we wished to endure. In that column we said time flies when you are having fun. Just ask Mat and Trae, one of Indy’s cutest some friends were unhappy with us for walking out after saying “no thanks” to such a couples. April marks their first anniversary and Mat told us he’s amazed how long wait because they felt once we walked in (even with no reservations, on a whim) we fast time has flown. We warned him that it only gets faster (in both people and pussy were obligated to wait things out. I, on the other hand, noted that I feel a restaurant is no years) so enjoy every minute of it. Meanwhile happy 1st to the guys and many more... different than anywhere else one shops and if they do not have what you need or want or Speaking of many more, we cats do not think we can stand many more months offer it in a timely manner you are not obligated to stay. We heard from a number of you out like the last one with the charges and counter-charges flyin’ at one Midwest club. and about in person and some in e-mails too. Among them: It’s all about who got paid, didn’t get paid (that’s paid, with a “P” and not the “L” one) and who if anyone owes anyone anything or may or may not be filing a suit. We do —I do not think you are obligated to stay. As stated it is your choice. This happened to my understand that management lost their attempt to block at least one unemployment husband and myself about a year ago. We went to the Olive Garden at 146th and I-69 in claim and someone else is threatening a suit for improper pay. All in all it makes us Fishers. We knew we would probably have to wait. No problem. Our choice. They gave us glad we one of those vibrating light things and said it would be about 25 minutes. Well, 25 minutes pussies came and went and at 45 minutes I politely (and trust me I can be anything but polite) work for went back up to the hostess and asked about how much longer. She said about 30 minutes. catnip and I asked why they did not give an accurate time estimate and she said they guessed. Had we a bowl had an accurate estimate of time my husband and I would possibly have made a different or two choice. Anyway, we decided to go across the street to Houlihans and see how long a wait of Iams, they had. By this time we figured everyone had a wait. We took , the vibrating thing and not to got in our car and went to Houlihans. We figured whoever could seat us first would get our mention business. They said “10 to 15 minute wait” and in 10 minutes we were seated and had our finding water. We finally took the vibrating thingy back last month...” (Unsigned). time for occasional —Gee Ted... Read your article, but am I obliged to respond? No! Guess I’m on your team naps because I have never felt any obligation to “wait it out”. The acceptable wait time for me with the is largely determined by my level of hunger and the impact the wait has on the rest of publisher my evening. And yes, this strategy has been known to backfire, leaving one restaurant (caught for another that has an even longer wait. Being a downtown dweller, I would say we eat in the act out about once or twice a week. I would like to know if anyone can trump my latest wait by his experience. I get that Bluebeard, Thunderbird, Black Market, etc., etc. like to think they partner, are so different. But they are simply part of the current trend. Lots of wood, exposed brick Ivan!) ... and a communal table — how uniquely the same. Can’t be sure, but when you apply to Anyway, wait at these trendy chains I think you have to check the box for appropriate number of speaking tattoos and piercings you have to be considered for hire. So back to my wait story. Over the of catnip, holidays, during the polar vortex about 18 below I stopped in Bluebeard for a cocktail. The we don’t bar was full and I was told would be an undetermined wait time. They suggested we buy our know if cocktails and take them outside to the patio because they had a heater! I was like “Are you you saw on meth”? so I say it is up to the consumer always and has absolutely nothing to do with it but we pussies’ fave TV chef, Clarissa Dickson Wright, the surviving half of the moral obligation. —Peace, Deb. television cooking duo Two Fat Ladies, has died aged 66. Her partner in the kitchen passed away a few years ago. The duo was known for roaring through the British —Depending on the situation the reaction can be one of two (with a 3rd alternative): countryside on a Triumph classic motorcycle with a side car and cooking up a storm. 1.) If you are a walk-up and the wait is to long for you then you always have the option of So what’s the connection? Well, what now seems 100 years ago (but was really about “nicely” saying “thank you” and moving on to another choice. If you have said “yes put my 1999) our owners dated a very hot young man from Westfield who shall remain name on the list” and the wait is longer than quoted again “nicely” saying “take my name nameless. Only problem was that to cook for him we had to make it vegetarian and all off” and moving on would be appropriate. It never would be appropriate when you have our boss’ specialties are meat-based. The Two Fat Ladies rode to the rescue with an requested placing your name on a list to be rude/hostile even if you think the information as awesome Stilton Cheese French Onion Soup allowing the relationship to survive and to time you were given was to keep you waiting and drink overpriced beer or non-alcoholic a lot of requests from his friends for the soup which found its way from his stomach beverages. Above all you should ask for your name to be removed from the list when leaving to his heart! And that was long before anybody ever thought of today’s TV cooking and tell the host why you are leaving. 2.) If you have made a reservation and when you show shows... Speaking of shows, our friend, Scott Gonyaw, the owner of All American up you are told it will be more than 10 or 15 minutes (itself possibly too long) then again Goddess had us laughing hysterically with his Facebook post a few days ago. “nicely” saying “What happened to my reservation time?” would be appropriate, hoping We do not know who it was written about, but that doesn’t matter. Scott said: “Your for an acceptable answer. Do you leave if the answer is not acceptable? Good luck on that inability to plan properly does not constitute it becoming my emergency. Please take choice. 3.) Use the new “non-reservation” and call ahead! —Jerry Halperin the negativity elsewhere. I have a national contest to run !!! Next in line please !! How can I help you ?” Hilarious... Speaking of next in line, we wanna know who in what —Ted, you must be joking, right? If you made a reservation at a restaurant and were on time line referred to someone well-known in the local community as “Elmer Fudd”. for said reservation, you SHOULD leave after perhaps 15 minutes max. If no reservation is Not that old Elmer is a bad guy (we cats always found the pig quite entertaining) but made (or accepted), it is one’s prerogative to take their business (and money) elsewhere in said person we are told did not mean the words in what we’d call a very kind way! ... the event of a seating delay. —David W. Miller. Speaking of kind, kind wishes to Word part-time staffer Lee on the reopening of his Living Under The Rainbow shop. In case you missed the ads, look for them So our conclusion? There’s no 100% sure “right” answer but only one person (who spoke online and as of this writing he was planning to be at about every pride in the Midwest with us out so did not send a printable note) said our friends were right and we should stay this Summer. Stop by and buy something... Finally, speaking of stopping by, if any regardless. Of course a couple also told us that they’ve seen us be less-than-cordial no matter readers are looking we hear that the crews over at The Works and The Club in how hard we try, causing us to re-read what Jerry said above. We try to always be nice, but Indy both are looking for folks to join them. In other words, both have openings, so we will try harder should the need arise. Meanwhile we will check Open Table first and call if you are searching for a job, you might want to stop by either and apply!... Meow! restaurants we can’t find there to cut down on everyone’s frustrations! Oh, and we will send a $50 gift card to Deb as our contest winner! 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Page 64 The Word April 2014 On The Web At: www.thegayword.com