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Imagine trying to run a business where there are no lines of communication between management and staff or among staff themselves; management is burdened with solving all problems, and staffing conflicts are left to fester. In the business world, this is a recipe for failure. Now apply this same business sense to a and the running of a household. It remains true that the success of a family also depends upon establishing lines of communication.

Importance of Family Meetings

Family Meetings (FMs) are one of the core aspects of the Positive Discipline Approach. Although provide the leadership in the family, holding FMs allow children a significant and meaningful way to contribute. FMs provide:

• A means of communication (to appreciate, compliment, vent concerns and feelings). Getting It Started and What’s Involved

• The opportunity for children to be appropriately and Keep it simple to start. Just do compliments and actively involved in the household. appreciations at first. • Life skills (problem solving skills, how to work as a team).

• A sense of significance because everyone at the table Lay the groundwork. Before respectful problem solving has an important voice worthy of being heard. can occur, do some skill building with family members to:

• A time to cooperatively establish routines, develop learn how to listen without interrupting, look for helpful schedules, share tasks. solutions instead of revenge, express feelings

appropriately, no name calling, try new ways of doing • Opportunities to model and teach core life values: things knowing things can be changed or modified. Cooperation, Contribution, Caring, Connection, Commitment, and Capability Gain buy-in by addressing one or two child-focused

Continued participation in FMs creates strong connections to items on the agenda for the first few meetings. Build from our ; people feel heard, solutions are found, things there. get done. In the process, children can learn tools that will Encourage children to add their issues to the agenda carry on into their future relationships and careers. This when things come up during the week. When you hear, sense of empowerment and social interest will last a lifetime. “She’s taking my toys again!” respond with, “Why don’t you put that on the agenda.”

Family Meeting Format Rotate Family Meeting jobs as children show interest and capability (Chair, time-keeper, note taker, other?) Follow the format, made up of four components: Have Family Meetings regularly, same day and time. 1. Compliments and appreciations Keep a FM journal. Record decisions made. Revisit the 2. Agenda Items: • Decide on a time frame for meetings list of other options if an issue remains a problem. Your • Review past decisions journal will become a family treasure of meaningful times • Use consensus, and table and item if no together.

decision can be found Adjust your expectations for attentiveness for two and 3. Future Plans (family activities, trips, birthdays, three year olds. Compliments and Appreciations or projects, etc) planning Family Fun time are for all ages Then younger 4. Fun Time (dessert, board game, sharing stories) ones could stay but nearby.

HOW TO MAKE FAMILY MEETINGS SUCCESSFUL Going Deeper

Children may think FMs are a way for parents to Family Meetings can become one of the most effective and useful manipulate them. It is more important for children parenting tools when done well and consistently. Once FMs have been established, it can help solve a number of challenges, such as: to learn that this is a safe place to address problems or concerns that any family member might have. Sibling conflicts. Siblings now have a place to respectfully flesh First, it is important to get “buy in” from the children. out problems, share frustrations and take responsibility for coming This is done by parents following these guidelines. up with their own agreeable solutions. Loud, domineering children learn to listen, and reserved children are given room to speak. • Remember the long-range purpose: to develop

the feelings of belonging, significance, and Time Outs. In the Positive Discipline Approach, Time Outs are capability, and to teach valuable life skills. Don’t used to calm the brain down in moments of heated tantrums or use FMs as a platform for lectures and parental arguments. FMs provide a structure for conflicts to be addressed control. later when calmer and rational heads prevail.

Follow-Through. This tool keeps parents from letting issues • Post an agenda in a visible place; encourage slide. FMs provide a consistent structure for past agreements to family members to write down ongoing family be assessed. Children will experience accountability for issues. Only post items that are appropriate for agreements. They also will experience their concerns being children to help decide. addressed and not forgotten.

• Start with compliments so family members learn Addressing irritations. “Bugs and Wishes:” Parents and kids are to look for and verbalize positive things about invited to express their irritations this way: “It bugs me when you each other. leave your mitt in the driveway; I wish that you would put it on the shelf in the garage.” • Use consensus to decide solutions, not majority.

Brainstorm solutions to problems. Start with wild Key Steps and crazy ideas (for fun) and end with practical ideas that are useful and respectful to all • Establish a day and time to meet as a family. concerned. Then choose one suggestion and try • Together establish ground rules and practice these skills (no it for a week. interruptions, respectful language, rotate leadership role,

everyone gets an equal vote, all electronics off, etc.). • Calendar a family fun activity for later in the week, as well as all sports and other activities (including • Establish buy-in from children: keep it short, give them room to talk, end with dessert or fun activity. a chauffeur schedule). • Post an agenda board accessible to everyone; record items as

• Keep FMs short (10 to 20 minutes) depending on they arise during the week.

the ages of your children. End with a family fun • Follow the FM format: activity, game, or dessert. 1. Compliments and Appreciations 2. Agenda items • Create a win-win environment that values mutual 3. Future Plans

respect and each person’s point of view so that 4. Family Fun time neither children nor adults dominate. Model how • Keep the meeting mutually respectful (no parental lecturing, no to listen; be attentive and quiet as others speak; controlling children).

ask questions instead of telling. Work to make • Focus on solutions, not blame. Table items that remain meetings fun and productive. unresolved for the next meeting.

• Record solutions in a family journal for later references. • Remember learning these skills takes time. Even solutions that don’t work provide an opportunity to • Work to make meetings fun and productive. go back to the drawing board and try again. Always focus on respect and solutions. Positive Discipline Community Resources P.O. Box 5365 Santa Cruz, CA 95063 831.476.7284 ext. 107 Resources: Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen, ‘Family Meetings’ from Teaching Parenting the Positive Discipline Way Manual by Lynn Lott and [email protected] Jane Nelsen. Adapted by Jane Weed-Pomerantz, and Colleen Murphy. www.PDCRcc.org

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The teenage years carry the reputation of being a challenging time. It’s potentially a time of rebellion, risk- taking and sneakiness, which stirs up worry, stress and fear in parents.

Each development stage brings new things for children to learn, and parents must make adjustments with each new stage of their child’s growth. The difference between the adolescent development stage and previous stages is that the consequences of mistakes are much bigger.

This can cause parents to seek tighter control, yet trying to control a teen can result in greater rebellion and risk-taking.

A better choice is to seek to understand this unique stage from a social, psychological, and physiological perspective. Parents can align with their teens and actually enjoy the people their teens are becoming as opposed to going to Adult Roles that Best Support war with them. Teen Development

THE TEEN BRAIN Don’t take things personally: It is not about you so much as about the fact that the brain is remodeling itself. The thinking Great changes are taking place in the whole body, including process and ability to manage emotions are challenged. the brain. The brain begins to make structural changes in Empathy is emerging but not fully there. Remember, rejection order to become more integrated (meaning different areas of of family is part of the process for now, but it is not permanent. the brain link together). The brain reduces the number of Channel the need for novelty, risk, and adventure: Offer neurons (basic brain cells) it has grown since before birth, experiences in controlled environments such as sports, rock letting go of excess neural connections not being used climbing, race track driving, or organized travel experiences anymore. with peers. Pull back your direct adult supervision to some Also, the brain lays down myelin which connects the degree but communicate clear expectations. Give permission electronic flow between neurons allowing for faster and more for more social activities but have boundaries about , efficient information flow. The frontal lobes, the master control talk with the adults supervising events, or have established check-in/call times, etc. center that helps coordinate major brain functions, dramatically changes, further linking up and integrating Assure that consequences make sense: If something gets different areas of the brain. Additionally, as the teen gains broken or lost, have your teen take part in repairing and paying important life experiences, more neural connections are expenses. If teens stay up too late, they still must get up and created, further developing this brain. meet responsibilities on time. As the teen brain integrates new connections, positive, new Give needed space but stay connected: Back off when teens skills are gained such as the ability to: want alone time but be available when they have something to

• pause and consider more than one impulsive response. say. Show interest, not judgment, about their newly emerging opinions. Invite genuine conversation through questions, “What • look at the bigger picture of a situation in order to make do you think about this issue?” “Do you have a new plan for next wiser choices based on experience and intuition. time this happens?” Listen with your mouth shut and ears open!

• focus on complex ideas, and to wonder about the Accept who they are becoming: This is truly an exciting time meaning of life for the first time. as teens mature into unique adults. Join in the excitement of seeing where their interests and ideas take them. You may • consider creative thoughts, and, when paired with their learn a great deal as you let them teach you things you’ve energetic drive, produce new ideas and solutions. never explored.

INDIVIDUATION: THE TEEN’S TASK Going Deeper

Much like a toddler who is trying to establish independence The adolescent stage is a force of nature that cannot be and says, “Me do it!” and “No!”, a teen has entered a similar stopped. What if parents try to keep it from happening? Think phase. Teens can sound more like this: “Don’t tell me what to about your baby learning to walk. Every time she took a step do!” and “I’ll just do it anyway without your permission.” and fell, did you yell at her for trying? Did you hold her down so she didn’t hurt herself? Did you punish her and put her in her The biologically driven push for independence is called the crib? Of course not. Learning to walk is an important task with Individuation Process. It is an important and necessary many failed attempts. Teens must also be given the same process as teens prepare to head into the young adult stage amount of room to make mistakes and take some appropriate of life. risks in order to learn. Learning to drive, managing time, All teenagers are not the same, but there are some general making decisions about drugs, sex, alcohol, etc. can’t be behaviors that most teens display. Here is a list of typical learned without experience. teen traits. Teens need to be given opportunities to make decisions 1. Rebellious: Many teens reject the family and family’s according to their maturity level. The better their decisions, the values. To find out who they are, teens must first reject more freedom they earn. But expect mistakes. Hold them whatever their parents find important in order to figure out accountable to fix any mistake and allow small opportunities to what they believe and how they are different from the family. earn back trust. Rebellion is the fuel to push forward into separation. The consequences of attempting to stunt Example: “I don’t want to go to church anymore.” this natural developmental stage could 2. Emotional: Teens are maturing physically and result in: rebellious, risky, and sneaky sexually at a rate they cannot control. They may feel behavior, shutting you out completely, or anxious about maturing too fast or too slow. High running away. Possibly the opposite can levels of hormones and the restructuring of the brain happen. If denied their individuation, teens at this time creates mood swings. They are delightful remain a “good girl/ boy” who do what one minute and rude the next. Example: “I you, they are told by others all their lives, never Mom.” “Get out of my room!” reaching their full individual potential.

3. Friendship focused: Interacting within their peer Trust the individuation process despite the group helps teens figure out if and how they fit in. messy details. Example: “I have to go to the party! Everyone else is going!” Key Steps 4. Tests limits, seeks thrilling experiences, is impulsive • Gain an understanding of the Individuation Process and and takes risks: Teens want to test out what they are able to learn what to expect do without being directed, advised, or ordered. Increased • Expect mistakes; mistakes hold invaluable lessons levels of the chemical dopamine in the brain fuels impulsive • Hold teens accountable for mistakes (respectfully and behavior and desire for excitement. The brain’s evaluation logically) so that they learn to act more mindfully center at this stage looks at the positive rewards of a risky • Offer opportunities for teens to handle bigger choice and ignores the possible negatives, thus the risk responsibilities. When they make a poor choice, show seems worth it to teens. faith in their ability to make better choices next time 5. Private: Alone time and keeping their thoughts private helps • Offer opportunities to demonstrate more responsibility them to figure out who they are and what’s important without when they are ready an audience. Teens interpret any kind of question as prying • Refrain from the lecturing and saying, “I told you so” and respond defensively. Example: “Why do you want to • Listen. Show that you value their opinions and interests know about my day?!” They often respond to questions with • Channel teens’ need for risks and adventure into safe, one-word answers or give silent shrugs to guard their privacy. healthy activities • Remember, this is a stage; it’s not permanent. Find the 6. A mistaken sense of knowing it all and thinking powerful assets in this stage while holding a vision of parents know nothing: Any adult advice or wisdom is who they are becoming rejected and considered “stupid.” In fact, being seen with a in public causes great embarrassment. Teen thinking is: “Parents can’t possibly relate to me and my generation.” Positive Discipline Community Resources P.O. Box 5365 Santa Cruz, CA 95063

Resources: Positive Discipline for Teenagers, Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott; 831.476.7284 ext. 107 Brainstorm, Dr. Daniel Siegel [email protected] Adapted by Colleen Murphy www.PDCRcc.org

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Time-Out is one of the most popular but most misunderstood and overused parenting tools. In society’s effort to move away from physical to manage behavior, we have moved toward emotional punishment. Children are sent to the Time-Out Chair to “think about what you did wrong until I say you can get up!”

Unfortunately, the original issue gets lost, replaced by a new power struggle over the Time-Out Chair. Children often rebel and refuse to sit in the chair. Or they sit and think of a revenge plan and how not to get caught next time while experiencing shame and discouragement that, over time, often leads to more misbehavior and low-self esteem.

Steps for Creating TWO TYPES OF TIME-OUTS

Positive Time-Out Areas Punitive Time Out:

Goal: To get immediate results that stop the 1. Wait until the age of 2 ½ before implementing positive undesirable behavior. timeouts. Toddlers lack the ability to understand cause and Responsibility: In the adults’ hands (must manage effect. Young toddlers need close supervision and redirection to the time out). an acceptable activity. Focus: Blame. “You are doing something wrong.”

2. Discuss the purpose of time-out. Explain that all of us have Inspires: Rebellion, compliance out of fear, times when we lose control of ourselves or find ourselves in a bad resentment. mood. We feel too bad to know the best thing to say or do. It is helpful to have a time-out place to go to until the bad feelings pass. Positive Time Out: Goal: To stop the undesirable behavior while 3. Have child pick time-out spot. A place in their room, a big teaching life skills; boundaries are held in a cardboard box they decorate, a cozy section of the couch, a respectful way. space created by mosquito netting. Brainstorm with them what Responsibility: In the child’s hands (must choose things might help them calm down and feel better. Place items in calming techniques and a solution). the time-out spot (i.e. stuffed animals, pillows, books, punching Focus: Solutions. “You need to make a different bag, drawing and writing materials, music, etc.). Parents can cross choice.” unreasonable items off the list (i.e. candy, loud music, TV). Inspires: Self-discipline, management skills.

4. Establish rules for the use of Positive Time-Out. Together Positive Time-Out is positive because it: come up with guidelines so that the time-out area isn’t misused. • is respectful; children are involved participants Examples could be: only one person at a time in the space, child • teaches children that their brains don’t function sets a timer for the amount of time she thinks she needs, no well when they are upset; they learn the value of destruction of the space. calming down so hurtful words and actions are

avoided and solutions can be reached together 5. Taking time out can also happen anywhere for you and • teaches positive relationship tools: self-control, your child. The simple actions of stepping outside, eating or personal responsibility drinking something, sitting in the car, exercising, deep breathing, playing with a pet are all that’s needed at times to shift out of a This method is more likely to help shape your child heated moment. into the responsible, respectful adult we all hope for.

Brain Research Supports GUIDELINES FOR USING POSITIVE TIME-OUT

Positive Time-Outs • Positive Time-out is NOT the only effective discipline tool. It is not appropriate for every behavior with Road rage, tantrums, ranting and every child all the time. raving. Young or old, we all have moments when our emotions take • Allow children to choose Time Out. If, in the heat of over and poor decisions are made. the moment, your child storms off to their time–out Brain research reveals that when we

spot before the issue is resolved, let him go rather experience strong emotions, we are than force the issue in the moment. Or you can operating from the brain’s limbic suggest time-out to your child. “Do you think it system. This is the place where fight would help you to go to the time-out spot now?” If or flight instincts take over. The ability the answer is no, “Would it help you if I went with to listen to others, to be socially you?” If the answer is still no, you may want to say, appropriate, see another’s perspective “Well, I think I will go. I think it will help me.” and problem solve is NOT available.

• Follow through after time out. This means that the Once strong feelings pass, we can operate from our brain’s prefrontal issue at hand is not forgotten but is respectfully addressed once the emotions have cooled. Parents can say, cortex which allows us to be appropriate, apologize, “You look calmer. Can we hug? Are you ready to clean up the problem solve, cooperate and think rationally.

blocks that you threw?” Often Positive Time-out is enough to Knowing this, does it make any sense to try and

change the behavior, and isn’t that the point? Positive Discipline resolve an issue when the child and/or parent’s brain encourages parents to move away from investing in making is flooded with emotions? Not every issue must be children pay for what they did wrong and move towards solved immediately; go back in five minutes or five helping them make a change in their behavior for the future. days once you can attain cooperation and creatively problem solve.

Going Deeper

As parents, we focus on our child’s misbehavior. We often Key Steps neglect to look at our own tone of voice, facial expression, attitude, and choice of words. When we reach those moments • Remember, the worst time to resolve issues are when people are angry. when phrases like these are coming out of our mouth: • Explain the purpose of a positive time-out spot “I’m warning you.” to your 2 ½ year old and up. “I’m not going to tell you again.” • Create the spot together. “One!…Two!…Three!” • Set up guidelines for usage.

this is the perfect time to recognize that you are the one who • Child has the choice to go to a calming area; needs the Positive Time-Out the most. We are often parent also has the choice to go alone; or child escalating the tension and prolonging the conflict through can be respectfully walked there together. angry, shaming outbursts. • Follow-through by addressing the issue after When we find ourselves locked in a heated battle heading time-out time.

towards a hurtful outcome, this is a great time to take the • Time-outs can happen anywhere, it doesn’t opportunity to model taking responsibility for yourself. Stop always have to involve a designated spot.

talking, tune in and ask: • Trust the process.

“How is my breathing and my heart rate?” • Focus on what you will do to help yourself in angry “Is there tension in my body?” moments, not what you will MAKE your child do. “Am I scrambling for control instead of looking for a win- Adults need time-outs more often than children!

win solution?” • Remember, taking time out doesn’t reward “Is this something I can come back to later when emotions children or let them get away with anything; it have cooled?” makes space for respectful resolutions to be reached. Modeling the proper use of Positive Time-Out as a means of anger management and selfcare will be the best thing you can do for yourself while providing powerful lessons for your Positive Discipline Community Resources children. P.O. Box 5365 Santa Cruz, CA 95063 831.476.7284 ext. 107

Resources: Positive Time-Out, Nelsen. Time Out For Parents, Huber. [email protected] Adapted by Colleen Murphy. www.PDCRcc.org

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The goal of parenting is to raise children who will do the right thing simply because it’s the right thing to do. A clear sense of knowing right from wrong is what we hope guides our children when they are no longer under our close supervision.

But how is this internal moral compass developed? When children make choices motivated out of avoidance of negative consequences, is this evidence of morality or evidence of obedience? When children make choices based on whether they might be caught, is this morality, or just risk assessment?

Here’s two approaches to guiding children’s behavior. One encourages obedience and risk assessment (doing what Four common reactions to punishment you’re told whether it is right or wrong, or asking, “Will I get Resentment: “You’re unfair. I can’t trust you.” caught?”). The other encourages morality (doing what is right Revenge: “You may be winning now, but I’ll get even.” despite what you are being told, or asking, “Will this cause Rebellion: “You can’t control me, so I will do the opposite.” harm?”). Retreat into: Sneakiness “I’ll just get better at not getting

caught next time,” and Low Self-esteem “I’m not a good or PUNISHMENT valuable person.” Punishment looks like it works if the child complies, but there Punishment is based upon the belief that a person must feel is a long-term cost. Children can feel fear, undervalued or pain and shame in order to do better and learn lessons. When disempowered. They become disconnected from their parents parents punish, they are often unconsciously taking out their due to disrespectful and humiliating treatment. Parents slowly anger on the children in unintentionally hurtful ways. lose a positive influence in their children’s lives and children Common forms of punishment then turn to others when seeking guidance.

Physical pain: spanking, slapping, pinching Shaming: “You know better!” “How could you?” DISCIPLINE Removal of privileges: no dessert, no screen time Time out: sit in a naughty chair for 5 minutes Discipline, however, is focused on guiding and teaching. The Isolation: , sent to room, root word is “disciple”–to learn and be a student. Parents take Emotional pain: angry outbursts, blaming, “You’re a brat!” on the role of teacher/guide with understanding and “Look what you did!” compassion for their children who have much to learn and many years to develop into their full potential.

Punishment

Discipline • puts adults in the role of being responsible for supervising • is a consistent practice, provides structure, and involves and controlling children’s behavior which is exhausting, impractical, and unsustainable over time accountability that is kind AND firm • is designed to make children PAY for the past, but the • puts kids in the role of being responsible for their behavior effectiveness is short-term • is designed to help children LEARN effectively long-term • mistakenly develops “external locus of control” (making • develops the “internal locus of control” (looking within to choices based on what others say to do) make good choices) • causes children to miss the lesson and focus on the • invites parents to see disobedience as an opportunity for adult’s disrespectful treatment: “Mom’s so mean!” “Dad’s children to learn boundaries and life/social skills versus

a jerk!” as opposed to “I have new ideas of how I can seeing disobedience as alarming signs of a bad child choose differently next time.” • helps move from problem-naming to problem-solving • often happens when emotions run high. Regretful things • allows the lesson to be highlighted because the adult are said and done remained respectful and fair

Differentiating Punishment from Going Deeper

Discipline: 4 Rs and an H Is disobedience a good thing? How would you like children to handle social pressure to be unkind, dishonest, and unsafe? Practicing discipline means getting a “Yes” answer when What if another authority figure told your child to do something asking these questions: that is against your values? Is it Related? Your child may have to face a situation when saying “no” will be NO: Disruptive behavior at dinner means no TV time morally correct, but will be seen as disobedient by peers or by YES: Removal from dinner table adults. Our best hope is that we raise children to be critical Is it Respectful? thinkers, not mindless joiners. “They told me to do it,” should NO: Yelling, shaming never be an acceptable excuse to cause harm.

YES: Neutral, clear tone of voice focused on the issue See children’s resistance to authority as an important part of a Is it Reasonable? healthy developing sense of morality, not as something to NO: Permanent removal of a privilege eliminate. Your task is to respond respectfully, appropriately, YES: Temporary restrictions, opportunities to re-earn privilege and with skill when facing children’s natural desire to test. It is When possible, Is it Revealed in advance? possible to say “No” with kindness and confidence. NO: Deciding consequence during angry moment Positively recognize children’s decision to resist social YES: Before entering a challenging situation, state pressure. Ask insightful questions for children to ponder in expectations and actions that may follow order to develop their internal moral compass when they are Is it Helpful? facing moral decisions (e.g., “What feels right to you? “How NO: Write “I will never do that again” 20 times would you like to be treated if the tables were turned?” “Who do YES: Cleaning the mess that was made you respect and what would they choose?”).

A simple equation to follow: With every privilege in life, responsibilities follow. If you own a bike, a computer, or a car, care and up keep is necessary. If Key Steps you’re borrowing items, or going out to eat, respecting boundaries, and social rules are required. When children • Avoid Punishment. Punishment focuses on blame and demonstrate lack of responsibility, they are not ready for the “Who’s in control?” It makes adults responsible for kid’s privilege. The privilege can respectfully be removed but behavior, inspires misbehavior, fear and shame. Success coupled with opportunities for children to demonstrate is only short term but adds long term problems. Win/lose. readiness for responsibilities in the future. • Choose Discipline. Its focus is on teaching and “What Privileges = Responsibilities went wrong? What life skill can be taught?” It makes Lack of Responsibilities = Lack of Privileges children responsible for their actions. Inspires change in behavior, and mutually respectful parent/child Other discipline ideas to practice: relationships. Success may take time but it gains long 1. Speak respectfully. Do not respond to immaturity with term lessons. Win/win. immaturity. 2. Involve kids in deciding limits and solutions; they are more • Focus on Solutions. Go beyond the problem. Ask, “How willing to follow limits and solutions they helped create. can this be solved?” “Do you or I need to fix, buy, replace, 3. Cool-off time; no solutions or corrections can be made apologize?” “What would help you next time?” Include when brains are flooded with emotions. Take time for child in finding solutions, if appropriate.

cooling off and then return to follow through where you • Respond to misbehavior AFTER initial stages of anger left off (see Tantrums and Positive Time Out tip sheets). passes. Calmer brains make better choices. 4. State expectations clearly without sarcasm or judgement. • Base your response to misbehavior by asking 4 R’s and 5. Establish routines together (see Routines tip sheet). an H questions. 6. Use skillful communication: “I” statements, empathy, ask questions to gain understanding, speak confidently • Focus on what you will do, not what you will MAKE without begging or rewarding to gain compliance. someone do. 7. Redirect young children or relocate them to a different

setting if needed. 8. Focus on what you are willing and not willing to do, not what you want to MAKE others do. “I’m willing to give you Positive Discipline Community Resources a ride when chores are done.” (for more ideas see P.O. Box 5365 Santa Cruz, CA 95063 Positive Discipline A-Z, Nelsen, Lott, Glenn) 831.476.7284 ext. 107 [email protected] Resources: Positive Discipline, Jane Nelsen Adapted by Colleen Murphy www.PDCRcc.org

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