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PATİKALAR Resmi Tarihe Çentik TRAILS Hacking the Official History PATİKALAR Resmi Tarihe Çentik TRAILS Hacking the Official History Editor: Yıldız Tar Kaos GL Oral History Team: Semih Varol, Umut Güven, Yıldız Tar Transcription: Berivan Koç, Deniz Mutlu Taşyürek, Semih Varol, Umut Güven Proofreading: Karin Karakaşlı Project Consultant: Umut Güner Translation: Yiğit E. Korkmaz Translation edit and proofreading: Yıldız Tar Publisher: Kaos GL (Kaos GL) First issue: December 2019, Ankara This book cannot be sold. It can be used freely for the noncommercial events that support human rights. Kaos GL Association PK12 Tunus PTT Kavaklıdere Çankaya – Ankara Phone: +90 312 230 0358 Fax: +90 312 230 6277 E-mail: [email protected] www.kaosgl.org www.kaosgldernegi.org Design Ceket Medya Print Ayrıntı Basımevi, Ostim-Ankara This book has been published by the support of Rosa Luxemburg Stiftung (RLS). That doesn’t mean RLS agrees with the content. The content is under sole responsibility of Kaos GL. TABLE OF CONTENTS PREFACE: 7 What does one miss the most? PROLOGUE: 10 Fractured and fragmented history is beautiful ONCE UPON A TIME… 14 Umut Güner: The curtains that closed against the forest in Yozgat Mine Yanat: Hide and seek in the Girls’ Highschool Oya Burcu Ersoy: Freedom of a military base child Yasemin Öz: The hierarchy of ages in the boarding school Özgür Azad: The window of the classroom that I’ve looked out Salih Canova: A village-world in Cihanbeyli Tuğrul Eryılmaz: Panorama of the ’70s and the ’80s THE ENCOUNTERS 25 Esmeray Özadikti: The Gulf Girls Ali Erol and Ali Özbaş: Adventures of Little and Grand GP Oya Burcu Ersoy: Am I L…? Buse Kılıçkaya: Cut from a paper cup Yasemin Öz: Is there anyone like me? Öner Ceylan: It’s like I came to my home Yeşim Tuba Başaran: I’m an ordinary person, how can this happen? Umut Güner: What should a person spend their life on? Can Yaman: We were naive, active, inexperienced Özgür Azad: Even reaching them was an oasis Uğur Alper: We distributed a can of lubricant in small bottles Yasin: I was finding someone like me everywhere PROLIFERATIONS: KAOS GL MAGAZINE 47 Ali Erol: Even before the photocopy Ali Özbaş: Words fly away, writings remain Ali Erol: Poorest of the poor Ali Özbaş: And it’s out! Yeşim Başaran: We were folding the pages one by one Yasemin Öz: My soul says you are so lesbian! Buse Kılıçkaya: Comrades in the prison Özgür Azad: It was a marvelous thing Salih Canova: What can come out from a picnic? ‘93: TAKING THE STREETS AND MARCH EXPERIMENT IN ISTANBUL 56 Mine Yanat: What do you mean by homosexual terrorist? STRUGGLE OF GETTING TOGETHER 58 Ali Özbaş: Getting “fired” from İHD Ali Erol: Meetings in bars and cafes Mine Yanat: House meetings in İstanbul Öner Ceylan: Lambda in the house METU, LEGATO 60 Yeşim Başaran: You can ask the tea maker about me TIME TO DROP ANCHOR: KAOS CULTURAL CENTER 62 Ali Erol: First venue Oya Burcu Ersoy: Cultural Center Meetings Umut Güner: Cafe-cultural center discussions A HOME IN İSTANBUL: LAMBDAİSTANBUL CULTURAL CENTER 68 Öner Ceylan: Terkos Impasse Özgür Azad: The first place and snowball effect… ÜLKER STREET 70 Esmeray: What happened in Ülker? Tuğrul Eryılmaz: Ülker Street has a bitter memory in my mind THE NIGHTS 75 Şevval Kılıç: There were seventeen trans women’s clubs in İstiklal! Salih Canova: Change and transformation of the nightlife Uğur Alper: Lubunya nightlife in the ‘90s DAUGHTERS OF SAPPHO 82 Yeşim Başaran: We didn’t know how to talk about our own experiences Oya Burcu Ersoy: Militant times WE MADE OUR VOICE HEARD: LAMBDAİSTANBUL ON THE AÇIK RADYO 86 Uğur Alper: From a demo tape to a show Öner Ceylan: There was also the censorship of RTÜK BAHARANKARA-GÜZTANBUL 88 Yeşim Başaran: Press release and two and a halfth day… Öner Ceylan: Hosting at home Uğur Alper: Kids are celebrating October 29th! May 1st, 2001: KAOS GL ON THE STREETS! 90 Oya Burcu Ersoy: We are here! Buse Kılıçkaya: We are organized! 2003: WE GOT THE MICROPHONE, SYMPOSIUM 91 Umut Güner: We put posters everywhere Oya Burcu Ersoy: Coming out in the opening speech Buse Kılıçkaya: Oh no, my mom is on the front row! GET USED TO IT, WE ARE HERE: İSTANBUL PRIDE MARCH 2003 99 Can Yaman: It was rehearsed many times Esmeray Özadikti: We had a little flag Mine Yanat: A thrill after years! Öner Ceylan: That moment was just a step we took Yeşim Başaran: 2004 and boxes Özgür Azad: Before and after LAMBDAİSTANBUL INFORMATION HOTLINE 102 Yeşim Başaran: How was it founded? Esmeray: Questions, questions WOMEN TO WOMEN STORY CONTEST 104 Oya Burcu Ersoy: How did it all start? A REST ON A LONG VOYAGE: KAOS GL IS NOW AN ASSOCIATION! 105 Yasemin Öz: How did it happen? LAMBDAİSTANBUL CLOSURE CASE 107 Yeşim Başaran: The case and the visibility Özgür Azad: Societal Effect ESTABLISHMENT OF PINK LIFE 108 Buse Kılıçkaya: From the attacks to the self-organized struggle! Umut Güner: Getting established 2006: ATTACK IN BURSA 111 Yeşim Başaran: Aren’t we all under the same blue sky? PREFACE: What does one miss the most? We have various yearnings as different as our existences. But there are long- ings that we can all share as one. The longing in the meaning of need. The person needs to be heard because it is already hard to make a sound. We wish to be able to entrust our story. To be able to abide under this sky as more than a pleasant echo… Official narratives are not created only by the states. Just as fascism is not only found in macro politics. In fact, it’s like Ingeborg Bachmann, the one that never is quoted enough, said: “Fascism doesn’t begin whit the first bombs that are dropped, nor with the terror that can be written about in every newspaper. It begins in the relationship between people. Fascism is the first thing in the rela- tionship between two people.” As such, in order to break down the memorized discourses in the memory of society, one has to look at the unique human stories, at the truth that is leaking out of the crack. This is exactly what “Trails: Hacking the Official History” does. What is meant by trail is a rugged goat path. What’s more, it’s not a known, well-built road. It’s formed by the erosion of your persistent footprints. Everyone we hear in this book is one of those who build that path individually and cooper- atively. Ignored, moreover distorted or pontificated story of LGBTI+’s. The very subjects are here. Those who have to fight against discrimination, ignorance, and prejudice for their own existence are saying, “Let’s start if you’re ready”. These stories will reach their destinations as much as you pay attention, as much as you learn to listen to them. So it’s imperative that you aspire to absorb not only the narrative, but also the sayings like “cutie”, “I mean”, “actually”, “the thing is”; to the exclamation points, the sighs, the pauses, and triple dots too. Seventeen people who have looked and made us look at our last thirty years by tearing apart the makeshift narratives weaved in their absence... Seventeen people who share the grand details of their small lives, even when describing events that are turning points of the movement’s history, present a brand-new history and archive woven from voices in this way... And of course, the whole team that set off due to the necessity for a completely different perspective on TRAILS - Hacking the Official History 7 memory, history, and archive, including Yıldız Tar who prepared the book for publication and gave birth to the project... I’m grateful to them all individually. There are memories of places and people here. The strange encounters and coincidences of life. Childhood and early youth loneliness’. The authenticity of those who can’t fit in the roles that are imposed on themselves as the norm. Have you ever found an encyclopedia description and rejoiced that there were others other than you? Have you ever searched for your tribe almost by smelling for it like an animal? Happiness and suffering, enthusiasm and anger, frustration and hope are intertwined. Svetlana Alexievich had a purpose while creating a whole new genre and lan- guage by blurring the boundaries of oral history and literature: “History only deals with facts, emotions are not taken on board. They’re not included in the history. I am already looking at the world as a human, not as a historian... I’m a historian of the soul. On the one hand, I study a particular person, yes, but on the other hand, I need to be able to see the eternal personality in them. The vibration of eternity. The thing that is always present in human beings. I build shrines from our emotions... From the things that have been experienced through our desires, our disappointments, but that can slip away.” I can’t help but wonder how would Svetlana Alexievich be impressed if she read this book. I want to leave this book on the streets, in waiting rooms, in restaurants, university canteens, bus stops, like fanzines replicated from hand to hand at a time when the narrators shared with the enthusiasm of youth. The voices speak to each other and to us. Those who remember, while clear- ing their memories from the beginning, are creating today with years of experi- ence. We see the cyclicality of time once again. What we’ve been through back and forth. Those that we came together despite the ones that separate us.
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