OP-ED P. 3 A&E P. 11 SPORTS The pursuit of happiness There's art in there? The first step is the hardest Why factoring in your own interests is the most important ignore the meetings and check out the art that Farnsworth Women's cross country season opens its season tomorrow as facet when choosing a major. Pavilion is showcasing in the upcoming weeks. the Owls attempt to steal back the C-USA crown from SMU.

thVOLUME XCVIIe, ISSUE NO. Ric4 STUDENT-RUe N SINCE 1916 FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, 2009 Campus safety suffers setbacks RUPD forced to cut Students attacked number of officers on the outer loop i BY YAN DIGILOV BY JOSH RUTENBERG w THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF

Last year, each department at This weekend, eight incidents Rice was forced to cut its budget by 5 were reported on or near the Rice percent. No area was left untouched, campus in which people were at- and the Rice University Police De- tacked with air-propelled pellets partment was no exception. from BB guns, airsoft guns or a However, RUPD was not sim- similar type of weapon. ply forced to make cuts in both Rice University Police Captain materiel and personnel — it was Dianna Marshall said two of the Welcome to Students participating in the $2 A Day Challenge moved in to their shanty town forced to scrap plans of expan- attacks took place Sunday, while on Tuesday, laying out blankets and spray-painting their shacks. To see what sion, made all the more neces- the other six cases occurred Mon- else the students did while living in the Central Quad, turn to page to. sary by the fact that Rice now has day. Although four of the attacks the shanties the largest student population its occurred on the perimeter of campus has ever held. campus near entrances 3, 4 and 17, another four cases occurred Glaring vacancies in the areas surrounding Rice: Swine flu reaches Rice, infects Before being faced with the two similar instances occurred in required cutbacks, RUPD had Rice Village at the intersection of initially planned to expand its Morningside Drive and University department to keep up with the Boulevard, one at 1815 Bissonnet over 20 percent of student body addition of Duncan College and Street and another on Interstate McMurtry College. RUPD hoped 45 South at Scott Street. to allocate three additional spots Typically, the victims were BY SETH BROWN their dorms or apartments instead of installed hand sanitizers throughout in its force for the projected in- joggers, and the suspects shot FOR THE THRESHER seeking a medical opinion. campus and the continual practice crease in student population. at their targets from moving ve- Although students have not been of other good hygiene habits in those However, RUPD instead did hicles. In one instance, the as- Swine flu has officially hit Rice. testedtodeterminethestrain.viraltest- still healthy. For those infected with just the opposite. Last year saw sailants shot a Rice student on The H1N1 flu virus, commonly known ing performed throughout the country the virus, Forman asked them to pre- four slots vacated on the force, foot and proceeded to push the as swine flu, has infected an estimat- by the World Health Organization vent the further spread of the virus. Chief Bill Taylor said. Two of the student to the ground. ed 20 percent of the student popula- suggests that the overwhelming num- "Those already infected should four officer slots cleared were tion, Director of Student Health Ser- ber of cases in which flu-like symp- practice social distancing, and wear part of the university-mandated vices Mark Jenkins said. toms are exhibited are due to the masks, of the sort that is provided by budget constriction. Due to these As of Tuesday afternoon, 123 stu- H1N1 virus. Health Services, if possible when in economic cutbacks, an increase dents had sought medical attention National statistics, collected by the public spaces," Forman said. in the police force necessitated In one instance, the at the Health Services Center. Jenkins Center for Disease Control, show there In response to a campus rumor waiting for economic times to assailants shot a Rice said this number may not reflect the have been 9,079 hospitalizations and that the university is dealing with the improve before taking action. actual number of infected students, 593 deaths so far in the United States current outbreaks by quarantining en- "We put together a plan two student on foot and however, as more likely stayed in due to H1N1; by comparison, the CDC tire college floors or sending sick stu- or three years ago that would add proceeded to push the notes an average of 36,000 people dents home, Forman denied that any significantly more officers," Tay- died in flu-related deaths formal quarantines are in effect. Local lor said. "It is just that the econ- student to the ground. in the United States students who have fallen ill, however, omy being the way that it is, it is each year from 1993 are advised to spend time at home. hard to do [that]. It has been set to 2003. The upcoming fall and winter back a little bit, but it is not off There has not are expected to be seasons with the table. It is just that we have to been a fatal case high incidences of both the H1N1 wait and see how things go." Victims described the weap- ofHiNiat Rice so virus and seasonal flu strains. For- With the combined lack of ex- ons used as BB guns, but the far, and Dean of man said for this reason, uninfected pansion and the loss of the offi- pellets could also have been Undergraduates students are encouraged to get both cers, the force's net loss grew to fired from an airsoft pistol, Mar- Robin Forman H1N1 and seasonal vaccinations as seven officers. Of the 31 officers shall said. While the victims did said the univer- they become available. RUPD planned, before staff cut- sustain minor injuries, medical sity's goal was "Our first priority is to minimize backs, to have active this year, treatment was not required. straightforward. the impact of any flu, and we are Just 24 are out in the field. Varying descriptions of the sus- "We want making every effort to obtain the vac- Additionally, of the active pects were reported, Marshall said, to keep healthy cines," Forman said. "The best case is officers, even fewer can work ranging from three white males to people healthy," that not much genetic drift will have alone. Several are still learning three Hispanic males to several Forman said. occurred so that those who are infect- the process and are shadowing males. One victim saw the suspects In order to do ed now will not get sick again, should another officer. driving a white pickup truck, while this, Forman en- the H1N1 virus return later this fall." This strain has been felt another indicated a gray SUV. couraged frequent The vaccine for the seasonal flu, across campus, Taylor said. In Marshall said RUPD advises hand washing, the which was originally expected to previous years, an officer would students to always be aware of 1 use of the re- be available yesterday, will not be be assigned to work with a single their surroundings and to look for / | cently available for several weeks due to college; now, several officers find crises management e-mails. RUPD 1 widespread delays. themselves patrolling two col- also suggests students have an un- Jones College sophomore Ste- leges. The posts added to monitor derstanding of campus emergency ven Boswell said he was upset by the two graduate student apart- phone locations, and asked stu- the delays. ments have been reduced to a dents to report suspicious activity "I think the administration single officer moving back and immediately. If you have any infor- has generally done a good job re- forth from the Shakespeare Street mation that could assist RUPD in sponding to the outbreaks, but I O see RUPD, page 8 their investigation, call ext. 6000. wish there were normal flu vac- B see H1N1, page 5

A night to remember Salt 'n Peppa Back to Europe INDEX Opinion Rice Night at the Houston Symphony is Screw Yer Roommate is next Friday, Sept. 3 Getcheroxoff: Eurotrashed Part Deux is the Saturday News Thursday, Sept. 17, at 8 p.m. in Jones Hall. En- 18, at 6 p.m. in the Academic Quad. Who 4 at Lovett. Bring your flashiest, trashiest clothes from Arts 8i Entertainment joy a night of music conducted by Hans Graf, knows, you might find the peanut butter 11 across the Atlantic and prepare to get randy, baby. Sports who, we believe, has no relation to Steffi, to your jelly, the Barack to your Michelle... 15 Calendar though we hope Andre Agassi will still come. the hammer to your nail? 19 Backpage 20 EDITORIAL THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11,2009

8YEA*S OLTL 1 MADE A sr<*Y ITS A DISPLAY ASdot A PONY! the Rice (Ihresher I MADE 1 weiroftW/IN/WI* BE on Honor Council changes M\ fto, THAT poESAT Mt call for deliberation HAKE Hohiex- LITTLE (MOPTE-D'T-AL Along with Willy's Statue and Wayne Graham's stare, Kg/ILLY? the Honor Code is an integral member of Rice's identity. Long a member of the Rice culture, the Honor Code's mer- its have been ingrained into Rice's bones, holding students n TEAK 0 inlao&el REALIZED to the highest ethical standards that a university of our Hoy 0° Titer stature can. Yoi/ FEEL 1.HATE. But while the Honor Code has not seen change in years, So MUCH the Honor Council, the governing body entrusted to up- AEwirr, hold the code, looks set for reform. Professor Evan Sie- mann's recent survey, while small in number, suggests WiNNIHb that the majority of students and faculty want to see change brought about in both the Honor Council's form and function (see story, page 7). ? Since the Faculty Senate tabled the discussion for its next meeting, we won't hear its decision — which, we would remind you, has no technical bearing on the A Honor Council's possible restructuring — for some time. As such, we would like to offer our suggestions to the LETTERS TO THE EDITOR thresher-ops&rice. edu, twitter, com/thresheropeds Faculty Senate. Firstly, the survey has shown that faculty and students bodies. In pulchra veste sapiens non would like to see the Honor Council, similar to other like- Intelligent design Rec center fees vivit honeste. minded institutions, split into graduate and undergraduate explains creation burdensome to all Bill Witson Research Scientist sections. These new sections, cleaved by standing, would To the Editor. To the Editor: Biochemistry and Cell Biology then hear the grievances brought forth against their respec- Brian Reinhart's column about the Thank you, Michael Contreras, tive peers. But just because other institutions on par with "merits" of redefining other fields of for pointing out hardships caused Online Comment Rice do something does not accordingly mean that we should science in light of the increased accep- by the new gym fees for grad stu- follow suit. We should be held to the standards inherent to tance of the intelligent design theory dents ("New recreation center fees of the Week Rice, not those of Princeton, nor those of William & Mary, does make some good points, despite add financial constraints," Sept. 4). the author's intended usage of these Many employees, looking at $288 In response to intelligent design to nor those of Virginia. statements as mockery ("Intelligent de- annual fees, will likewise face a dif- take over all studies," Sept 4: That being said, the parsing of the Honor Council may be sign to take over all studies," Sept. 4). ficult decision. For example, a staff "By now, the consensus among a viable option to alleviating the burden placed on a slow, Reinhart states that "evolution colleague who worked out regularly reasonable people is that modern sci- ence indicates die theory of evolution overburdened system. It is a shame that it must take months does not explain the fact that the uni- at the gym for the past 10 years has was, at best, a misguided effort." for certain cases to be heard, but with the heft of hundreds verse is so perfectly adapted to our now decided to save money by lift- needs." Exactly! Isn't it strange that ing weights at home, even though This statement is about as far of hearings brought forth every year it is inevitable that the the theory of evolution tries to explain she could afford the membership from the truth as it is possible to get. process would reach this snail's pace. our world as chemicals thrown togeth- fee. (Undergrads are automatically Where on earth does Brian Reinhart Furthermore, as it stands, the population of graduate er to magically create life? It is disap- taxed for the gym and thus spared collect his evidence of a consensus? students represented on the Honor Council is dispropor- pointing that some of the most intelli- from such a dilemma.) "Most contemporary theorists agree that evolution does not explain tionately small. Because the Honor Council is undergrad- gent people in the world buy into this Why does Rice subtly discourage idea, even though the universe's most physical activity? Why not make the the fact that the universe is so per- uate-heavy, there is the possibility that the differences be- complicated creatures and processes gym free and charge faculty and fectly adapted to our needs." tween graduate and undergraduate curriculum will not be were designed with a plan. staff $288 for access to the on-cam- Well, of course not! Evolution- properly taken into account. It doesn't matter if it results in I subscribe to the theory of evolu- pus shuttle buses? ary theory has never attempted to more innocent cases or more guilty pleas — because there is tion: God provided an opportunity Many of us would be happy with explain anything of the sort, any more than it tries to explain the a discretion, there is a problem. for His creation to improve through a less opulent and less expensive modification. By supporting the idea gym. I regularly work out at 24-Hour speed of light, or the strength of The only concern that would arise from a split Honor Coun- of intelligent design, I don't advocate Fitness and Bally Total Fitness, the gravitational force. No one can cil is that of a different standard, a method by which each the existence of aliens who created where the facilities are simpler but expect any one scientific theory to council views similar cases in a different light. The Honor life on Earth, nor do I suggest the functional. My two nationwide gym explain everything. Code is universal within the hedges — its makeup cannot be world is controlled by a computer. 1 memberships together cost consid- "That is why there is increasing acceptance among the scientific com- up for debate. Fortunately, there is nothing to suggest that believe God created life, and I hope to erably less than what I would pay see the day when people will stop be- at Rice. Moreover, these gyms have munity of intelligent design theory." the two proposed Honor Councils would shift their modes of ing arrogant enough to believe they superb fitness classes, with the Far from true. The scientific com- thinking in any drastic fashion. are the most intelligent beings. best kickboxing, step and zumba munity (except for a tiny group of ec- The second finding of Siemann's survey is that the ma- Don't teach any specific theory in instructors 1 have seen in 25 years centrics) shows no signs at all of even jority of Rice's faculty and student populations would not schools. Broach the topic of creation of doing aerobics. taking "intelligent design theory" se- riously, far less accepting it. mind discussing schoolwork ethics independently. Over half at the university level, when students It's the human talent, stupid, are old enough to consider the issue. not the buildings. Nobel Laure- And from there on the article of the polled faculty members would approve of handling If the question of where we came ate E. J. Corey was proud of doing gets progressively worse, dismiss- problems of collaboration, plagiarism and exceeding time from arises earlier than that, parents world-class chemistry in humble ing some of the best established and limits without the Honor Council's involvement. can address their child at their dis- lab facilities. Grandiose buildings soundly based fields of knowledge. This is a far thornier issue than the first point. Not only cretion. Don't leave it to the biology symbolize indifference to fiscal and "Crackpot" doesn't begin to describe it. Does this author really believe his could professors hold students to different standards, but teacher they'll dislike anyway. environmental sustainability, and, Anna Wilde in the case of the new gym, indif- own wild, unsupported assertions? the students, without going in front of the Honor Council to Martel junior ference to the sustainability of our Ian plead their case, are already convicted of guilt. Of course, there's the flip side — the professor could believe that the Honor Council's possible punishments would be far stricter Casey Michel Editor in Chief than the actions warrant, in which case the professor would The Rice Thresher, the official student news- paper at Rice University since 1916, is pub take matters into his or her own hands and the Honor Code Sarah Rutledge iished each Friday during the school year, Senior Editor except during examination periods and holi- would be left by the wayside. days, by the students of Rice University. There also remains the question of whether or not the NEWS David Rosales Multimedia Manager Cindy Dinh Editor Stephen Wang Web Editor Letters to the Editor must be received by amorous relations policy, enacted last year, will be brought Josh Rutenberg Editor Dennis Qian Asst. Web Editor 5 p.m. the Monday prior to publication and into play ("Amorous relations revisited," May 15). Just be- Jocelyn Wright Editor Eric Doctor Design Director must be signed, including college and year if Jaclyn Youngblood Editor Zach Castle Head News Designer the writer is a Rice student. Letters should not cause this is Rice does not preclude students from striv- exceed 250 words in length. The Thresher re serves the rights to edit letters for content and ing for the best grades — in fact, it is possible that the OP-ED BUSINESS Christine Pao Editor length and to place letters on our Web site. strenuous, nerve-racking drive for better grades may pro- Yvette Pan Manager Kay Fukui Cartoonist Jessie Huang Subscriptions Manager Editorial & business offices are pel certain facets of the Rice population to further and Charlie Ary Distribution Manager located on the second floor of the Ley Stu sexier means of success. SPORTS Gustavo Herrera Distribution Manager dent Center: Natalie Clericuzio Editor Sergio Jaramillo Distribution Manager There is no simple solution to this matter. Needless Yan Digilov Editor 6100 Main St., MS-524 Jonathan Myers Assistant Editor ADVERTISING Houston, IX 77005-1892 to say, instances already arise in which the professors Phone (713) 348-4801 Cathleen Chang Ads Manager Fax (713) 348-5238 and students come to a consensus outside of the Honor ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Molly Slattery Ads Manager E-mail: [email protected] Council. However, we cannot advocate the recommenda- Joe Dwyer Editor Tiffany Kuo Classified Ads Manager Web site: www.riccthresher.ori; tion of Siemann's findings. Just because professors don't CALENDAR Unsigned editorials represent the major COPY want to wait a few months for the Honor Council to reach Brian Reinhart Editor itv opinion of the Thresher editorial staff. Anna Wilde Editor its findings does not mean they should take matters into All other opinion pieces represent solely Rose Cahalan Editor BACKPAGE the opinion of the piece's author. their own judgment. MEDIA Kyle Barnhart Editor Lauren Schoeffler Photo Editor The Thresher is a member of the Associated After all, no professors are meddling with Wayne Gra- Cristina Tortarolo Editor Collegiate Press. Twitter.com/ThresherOpEds Ariel Shnitzer Asst. Photo Editor © Copyright 2009 ham's piercing gaze — why should they interfere with Logan Beck Asst. Photo Editor the Honor Code? Op-Ed Follow us at twitter.com/ThresherOpEds 3 Transition to online journalism inevitable Even the world's poorest can THE WORLD OF print journalism is of the Internet's voices can act both The path to that goal begins, for evaporating. The paper versions of as a divisive tool and as a means of students like us, here at Rice. Since The Rocky Mountain News and the Se- honing in on the truth. This is the last year the Thresher has hosted in- afford good private education attle Post-Intelligencer are gone forev- principle behind Wikipedia: With a teractive online content, including How CAN THE world's poor educate Interestingly, Tooley found that er; my hometown newspaper in San large enough group of honest users comments sections, slideshows and themselves? The Beautiful Tree: A Per- entrepreneurs are starting for-prof- Antonio, the Express-News, now has looking to find the facts, eventually polls. With its new Twitter feeds and sonal Journey Into How The World's it schools serving the poor around a staff roughly the same size as that of the facts will be found. sports blog, the paper has expanded Poorest People Are Educating Them- the world, from China to South The Rice Thresher. Time reports that And the internet's massive power its online contenf exponentially selves, a recent book by Newcastle America. In one of the poorest the Boston Globe is losing $1 million for recognizing spin has helped it within the last year. The Thresher University professor James Tooley, slums of Nigeria, Tooley says, "The dollars a week, and rumor has it that scoop the print media several times. also runs some articles as online recounts how, on a trip to study elite fees might be about $4 per month - even the The New York Times is bur- Matt Drudge was the first person to exclusives, which are often read by schools in India, he stumbled upon perhaps 10 percent of a typical fish- dened by enormous debts. report that Bill Clinton and Monica many Web surfers with no connec- private schools serving poor students erman's monthly earnings." Lewinsky were having an affair, and tion to the Rice community. in the slums of Hyderabad's Old City. Why do parents sacrifice so much Dan Rather retired shortly after blog- The Rice Standard is, if anything, of their meager incomes rather than gers revealed that he had presented even further ahead. The Standard's send their kids to a free government forged documents as evidence for a new online edition rolls out on school? Tooley explains that "the major news story. Sept. 14, with a slate of online con- majority of poor schoolchildren tent, multimedia, discussions and [who] attend private schools outper- over two dozen regular bloggers. The form the state schools, all with lower 44 Standard's business plan is to be not salaries for teachers." merely a source of engaging writing The success of low-cost private Brian Reinhart The competitiveness but a laboratory for the creation of schools means U.S. policy makers David Splinter and sheer diversity of new content by student bloggers, may need to rethink conventional Many news outlets, like the staff writers and even guests. global schooling efforts. Instead of Post-Intelligencer, are switching to the Internet's voices The potential of the new medium The students' parents often paid pouring funds into a Global Fund online-only formats. Those print me- can act both as a is enormous. Last year, as a printed $1-2 a month for private schooling. for Education that follows "country- dia sources lucky enough to survive divisive tool and as a publication, the Standard conducted Bear in mind that many of the par- driven solutions" — meaning for- write columns about the inferiority the most comprehensive political ents earn around only $25 a month. eign national governments would of Internet news sites. An April ar- means of honing in poll in Rice memory, when over 400 How could these for-profit pri- have a significant say in spending ticle by Atlantic Monthly reported, on the truth. students told the magazine about vate schools possibly stay afloat with aid money — American tax dollars "In a poll of prominent members their voting plans in the 2008 elec- such a small tuition? should support "student-driven" or of the national news media, nearly tion. Now an online format makes Were the schools run on char- "parent-driven" solutions. 99 two-thirds say the Internet is hurting mass participation in studies of stu- ity? No, although the staff often If our government directs edu- journalism more than it is helping." dent opinion even simpler. expressed motivation to improve cation funds directly into foreign One anonymous respondent told At- Lying unstated behind the fear The Rice community has long the community. government hands, those funds lantic that the Internet "has blurred is the simple fact that the media is lacked a stable online new-media Did these schools survive by hir- can displace effective private the line between opinion and fact afraid of the Internet. Print journal- community, especially since some ing low-quality teachers? No, as Mr. schools and lead to corruption. The and created a dynamic in which ex- ists (and TV reporters, after Rath- residential college discussion boards Tooley cites a UNESCO report con- Economist describes Hugo Chavez's treme thought flourishes while bal- er's downfall) worry about the com- have been flooded with spam. The firming consistent teacher quality. recent education reform in Venezu- anced judgment is imperiled." petition and enter the medium with Thresher and the Standard are both The schools survived by cutting ela as accomplishing the following: The Reuters Handbook of Jour- hesitation. But the truth is that the looking for creative ways to meet this costs that did not directly contrib- "Schools will come under the su- nalism's section on Internet news rest of us are already there. void, and to do so quickly. In their ute to student learning. Instead of pervision of 'communal councils,' reporting has a special section en- News Web sites like BBC Online, different ways both publications are funding fancy buildings and buses, indistinguishable in most places titled, "Is it a hoax?" explaining to Politico and the Huffington Post, as providing Rice with a new model of converted houses served as school from cells of the ruling socialist aspiring journalists that they need to well as online magazines like Slate media. Before the writers, reporters buildings for children from the party. Central government will run be wary of false news stories online. are already huge destinations for and artists of our campus commu- surrounding neighborhood. almost everything else, including There is a good bit of truth in this readers like us. The future of jour- nity graduate, they have a chance to A UNESCO report stated that university entrance and member- worry, of course. Political crises have nalism is online, and we should prepare for the media world's new 80 percent of students in some In- ship of the teaching profession." been caused by chain e-mails, mali- get used to it. We should also build challenges and opportunities. dian cities pay to attend private cious discussion-board rumors and models which will enable important schools rather than attend poor- Sarah Palin's Facebook page. But the reporting and analysis to proceed Brian Reinhart is a Wiess College ly-run, tax-funded government 44 competitiveness and sheer diversity online with integrity. junior and Thresher calendar editor. schools. In poor rural areas, often 30 percent of students attend pri- The success of vate schools. The message is clear: Even some of the world's poorest low-cost private Choosing majors a personal journey families and communities can edu- schools means U.S. cate themselves, independent of policy makers may BY NOW, IT has become devastat- unusual number of geniuses, but enough how vital it is to choose a government financing. ingly clear that the summer is no chances are you are not one of them. major that interests you. The story of private schools for need to rethink more — stacks of books, unending So get off your high horse and stop The practicality of a major may the poor also made me wonder why conventional global problem sets and dozens of exams ruining what a college education is appear to be the most important only 11 percent of American children schooling efforts. and papers remind us that we are supposed to be. If a subject doesn't factor in these financially troubled attend K-12 private schools. Why in for a long, grueling semester of matter to you, don't pretend like times. Job availability after gradua- have families and local communi- nonstop academia. it does. You're not fooling anyone tion is a legitimate concern. But as ties not formed their own schools, as 99 but yourself. students, what are we if we don't fol- many have in India? There is also the chance that low our academic passions? Our ed- Tuition rates are much higher in you've been severely oppressed by ucation loses its value when we lose the United States than in India. Even Chavez's response to dissent your parental units throughout your our drive, our hunger, to learn. So do in Catholic schools, which usually was to fire tear gas at university rec- entire life — perhaps they constant- what you love, and forget the rest. offer lower tuition than many elite tors approaching parliament. With ly make it a point for you to choose private schools, tuition costs total this kind of abuse possible, should a major they believe is best for you. around $4,000 per year (although we support nationally-run schools Well, screw your parents. Although 44 this figure is still less than half of the abroad over the homegrown, low- they are most likely the ones fund- roughly $10,000 per-pupil spending cost private school alternative? Christine Pao in Texas government schools, in- ing your college education, your ,4s students, what American students can benefit voice is ultimately the only one that cluding capital costs). from low-cost private schools, just For those students still work matters in terms of choosing which are we if we don't Catholic school tuition, without like children around the world. ing their way through their first direction your future will take. follow our academic discounts, is still about $400 per Houston already has an example of or second years (or a select few in You are an adult. You make your month, or five days' wage at $10 per how to provide private education to their third, fourth or even fifth), own decisions. There is absolutely passions? Our hour, 40 hours per week. That means low-income families. The Cristo Rey the daunting task of choosing ma- no reason for you to adopt someone education loses its low-income Americans must work at Jesuit College Preparatory School jors must be addressed. Although it else's expectations as your own. value when we lose least twice as long as the poor in India funds 70 percent of its operations seems fairly obvious that students Worst of all, you could be one of to pay for a month of private school. with salaries earned by high school should choose their majors based those horrible people who choose our drive, our hunger, Tuition rates may be so much students in work-study programs. on their interests, some people, a major based on its potential ca- to learn. lower for these private Indian This allows parents to pay a small fee for several reasons, just don't get reer profitability. Just go ahead and schools because of fewer regu- based on their income, perhaps $25 the message. throw away all your ambitions of lations or less enforcement of per month. The school also boasts 99 Maybe you were the overachiev- being a screenwriter, a photojour- regulations. The lower barriers to that last year 98 percent of its gradu- ing kid who always thought you nalist, an anthropologist — bask in entry mean private schools can ates were accepted into college. wanted to be a doctor or engineer, the wealth of your six-figure salary Ideally, choosing a major that open more quickly and run with The term "the beautiful tree" was just because it seemed like a proper while your peers struggle to find interests you will be coupled with lower costs. For example, despite used by Mahatma Gandhi to describe career for someone of your high jobs amidst the full swing of the re- a job that interests you. At the very maintaining high standards, the the traditional Indian educational intelligence level. You're the type cession. But fear not: The satisfac- least, you'll always know that you teachers and schools often lack system, which had a more bottom- of person who whines about an tion of financial security will wear did something that matters to you. government certifications. up model than the British top-down A-minus and loads up on extracur- thin before long, and you will rot Plus, following those passions Costs can also be held down with system. If you have an interest in riculars to prove your superior ex- away in the emptiness of your life, will make your problem sets and larger class sizes, but to keep student education or bottom-up systems, The istence. Well, guess what? You're wondering what could have been. papers all the more manageable, performance high, large classes need Beautiful Tree can teach important probably not as smart as you've For the record, I'm not criticiz- which should be worth it any day. fewer interruptions per child — that lessons previously hidden in devel- been brainwashed to think. ing those who have chosen the is, stricter discipline. This may be oping neighborhoods. Rice may be highly ranked ac- pre-med or engineering route - by Christine Pao is a Martel College more easily accomplished in private cording to U.S. News and World all means, if that's what you want sophomore and Thresher schools, where expulsion of disrup- David Splinter is an economics Report, and it may be home to an to do, then do it. But 1 cannot stress opinion editor. tive students is easier. graduate student. NEWS THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11,2009 Foreman, Cooper promote courage to students

LOGAN BECK/THRESHER

Former boxer George Foreman and New York Times reporter Helene Cooper spoke to Rice students last Thursday, sharing life lessons of perseverance and maintaining self-confidence.

out at night to hang out with the wrong "I still wanted to fight," Fore- it. Look at me!"' share her life's journey, Cooper said. George Foreman crowds, he said. However, he became in- man said. In addition to the grills, Fore- She described her ancestors' role censed when his cousin told him to skip Upon a friend's suggestion that Fore- man also promotes Meineke Car in founding Liberia, what it was like BY LY HOANG school, as no one in the family would man vent his anger through boxing, he Care Centers and has launched eco- to grow up in a wealthy Liberian FOR THE THRESHER amount to anything. moved to California to train. Foreman friendly cleaning products, a line family, how life as she knew it dis- quickly moved up the ranks of the boxing of personal care products, George integrated in 1980 when a military Within minutes of his introduc- world and eventually made it to the 1968 Foreman's Life Shakes, memoirs coup seized the executive mansion tion last Thursday, George Fore- Olympics, held in Mexico City. Foreman and various other businesses. Fore- and executed President William Tol- man, former heavyweight boxing i€ said his boxing style at the Games was man is also active in charity, includ- bert and what it was like to flee to champion and world-renowned unconventional. ing the "Knock Out Pediatric Can- the United States to escape Liberia's entrepreneur, had a crowd of hun- Fear is a wonderful Despite his "open up and swing as cer" campaign. political turmoil. dreds laughing at his life story, from hard as you can" style, Foreman snagged In 1984, Foreman was inducted into Cooper said she still remembers tales of covering himself in sewage thing. Embrace it. the Olympic gold medal that year. Fore- the Horatio Alger Association of Dis- her friends' reactions to her story. to avoid arrest to his affinity for man's career then peaked after his defeat tinguished Americans, a society which "The sun — I still can see it — was grilling machines. George Foreman of 'Smoking' Joe Frazier in the Heavy- extends membership to those with re- setting at that point," she said. "One During the Rice Alliance for Former boxer weight World Championship in Kings- markable achievements in face of ad- of my friends said, 'Why haven't you Technology and Entrepreneurship's ton, Jamaica, in 1973. versity through self-reliance and hard written this?"' annual kickoff event, held in the 99 Though money had poured in con- work. Members must also have shown Cooper said she then began one of Shell Auditorium of the Jesse H. stantly throughout his career, Foreman dedication to helping the less fortunate. the hardest tasks of her life: writing a Jones Graduate School of Business, found himself strapped for cash in 1974 Fellow inductees includes Sam Walton, book detailing her family's story. Foreman spoke to an assembly of He said he began mugging people, after he lost the heavyweight champion- the founder of Walmart Stores, Inc., poet "Twenty-three years later, I'm nearly 600. which once led to a police chase. Fore- ship tide to Muhammad Ali. and author Maya Angelou and talk show sitting down trying to write about a CEOs of big-name companies, man avoided arrest only by covering him- Foreman said his life underwent a host Oprah Winfrey. book about this childhood that I had local businessmen, professors and self in sewage to avoid scent detection by change when he had a religious expe- When asked about the biggest lesson deleted, and I had to go back and un- Rice students turned out to hear him the dogs. After this close call, Foreman rience in 1977 that led him to discover he learned, Foreman responded that fear delete all these things I'd forced my- speak, Rice Alliance Managing Direc- said he decided to change his ways. Jesus. This event prompted Foreman to can motivate a person to do great things. self to forget," Cooper said. tor Brad Burke said. "[1 told myself,] 'If 1 got out of this, [I'd] spread his revelation to others. For the "Fear is a wonderful thing," he said. Cooper said some of the saddest Foreman began his talk by relating never steal anything again, even if it was next decade, he preached his testimony "Embrace it." moments of her life occurred after the anecdotes of growing up in a tough Hous- a $1 million wallet,"' Foreman said. to various congregations and churches The reactions to the speech from Rice coup. Her mother sacrificed herself ton neighborhood. His mother, a single Foreman applied to Job Corps, an ed- around the country. During this time, he students were enthusiastic. to gang rape by a group of soldiers to parent, held down the fort at home and ucational training program, after watch- said he realized young people were not Sid Richardson College junior save Cooper and her adopted sister, was adamant about keeping Foreman ing a television commercial that urged receptive to preaching. Jorgen Nelson said, "I was just sur- Eunice; Cooper later watched some and his six siblings out of jail. eligible youth to apply. "They don't just listen to you." Fore- prised that George Foreman was so of her relatives face execution by fir- "She had me more afraid of her than Though he was committed to a man said. "They just look at you. They coherent after being hit in the head ing squad. the streets and the police," Foreman new lifestyle, Foreman said he occa- don't need money. They need us." so many times, you know? I mean, said. "She would say, 'If you get hit in the She said writing the book was dif- sionally reverted to feelings of aggres- After the realization. Foreman started have you listened to Mike Tyson?" streets, I'll kill you!"' ficult, but cathartic. sion. He once became defensive when the George Foreman Youth and Commu- After his mother was diagnosed with "It's like you're picking at a scab a coworker at Job Corps was talking to nity Center in Houston in 198/4 as a safe tuberculosis, Foreman began sneaking that's healed over and you pick at it him about his mother. haven for troubled youth. Helene Cooper until it bleeds," she said. However, to support his fam- Cooper read passages from her ily and the youth center, Foreman BY JACLYN YOUNGBLOOD book, utilizing classic Liberian dia- needed a steady income, so he be- THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF lect to bring Eunice to life. She shared BACK-TO-SCHOOL TIME! gan to retrain for boxing. When excerpts about her first boyfriend, word got out that he was reentering Being uprooted from home and her mother's rape and transitioning Furniture, Housewares, Clothing, Accessories, Rugs, Art, the boxing ring, Foreman said he having to adapt to new surround- to life in the United States. Jewlery, Collectibles, Antiques, Vintage Items, and More! was frequently teased for being out ings is an experience with which Martel College freshman Anna of shape. Helene Cooper, author of this year's Meriano said she enjoyed the au "People would say, 'George Fore- Common Reading, The House at thenticity Cooper brought to her man's training camp is next to Baskin Sugar Beach, is familiar. Cooper story when reading selections from Get it at Robbins,"' Foreman said. spoke about her experiences to an her book. Despite the jokes about his phy- audience of 250 last Thursday at the "The Liberian English was awe- the Guild! sique, Foreman once again advanced Tudor Fieldhouse. some," Meriano said. "It was the through the boxing world and in This discussion was a continua- best part." 1994, at age 44, was re-crowned tion of the Common Reading tradi- Cooper talked about the difficul- Open Monday-Friday, the heavyweight champion after tion established last year when Greg ties she faced in making new friends, 9:30-3:30 defeating Michael Moorer. In 1995, Mortenson, author of Three Cups of friends who had no knowledge of Saturday, 10:00-2:00 however, Foreman relinquished his Tea, spoke to students about the im- Liberia or what had just happened title after refusing a rematch with portance of community activism. there. She stressed the importance of Axel Schultz. Dean of Undergraduates Robin 2009 Dunlavy maintaining her identity throughout Starting in the early 1990s, Fore- Forman introduced the journalist her transition. 713-528-5095 man added entrepreneurship to his and author, calling Cooper's life a "I was somebody," she said. "I list of vocations when he became a story of "bravery, perseverance and came from somewhere." All proceeds go to charity salesman for the Lean, Mean, Fat- personal discovery." Brown College sophomore Sarah Reducing Grilling Machine. His Cooper, a longtime journalist James said hearing Cooper talk about www.theguildshop.org name has since become synony- who serves as the New York Times her book made the story even better. mous with the product. diplomatic correspondent, said she "[Cooper] seems so human and Even when he lost his last match, had never considered writing about personal," James said. "She seems like The in 1997 to Shannon Briggs, Foreman her life until talking to friends over someone who could be your friend." said he continued selling his grills. a Maryland meal of crabs and beer. Martel freshman Maggie Sulc GUILD "When the news asked me what As she and some friends were look- echoed Meriano's sentiments and I thought after I lost, I told them 'I ing out over the Chesapeake Bay, said she flipped through the book as love the Lean, Mean, Fat-Reducing Cooper commented that her ances- Cooper read. ShOP Grilling Machine!"' Foreman said. tors were from the area. "It was cool to look at the book of St. John the Divine "'What does this have to do with the Knowing that she was from Libe- while [the author] is standing 'here RESALE AT ITS BEST game?' they would ask. I would re- ria, her friends reacted with surprise and see the story in her light," spond, 'It has everything to do with and confusion, which prompted her to Sulc said. FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11,2009 THE RICE THRESHER NEWS

Jones coordinator to leave ohini STUDENT ASSOCIATION MINUTES FROM PAGE 1 The following were noted at the most recent meeting of BY CINDY DINH down a mail package or listening to the Student Association on Sept. 7. THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF someone's personal problems, stu- cinations," Boswell said. dents have come to depend on her Although Jenkins said he could • SA President Patrick McAnaney announced there will be no SA meet- After 17 years at Rice, Jones Col- warm welcome when they step into not accurately project when the vac- ing next week because of the fell retreat. McAnaney, a Brown College lege Coordinator Lisa Bryan has her office." cination would be ready, he said the announced she will be leaving her Jones junior Alex Young vaccine will likely arrive within the senior, said everyone is welcome to attend. position in November. She will be echoed the Guerras' sentiment next few weeks, and noted that the • Internal Vice President Selim Sheikh welcomed the recently elected joining her husband, English pro- and described Bryan as energetic campus is keeping a close watch on fessor Dennis Huston, as he goes and reliable. the spread of the seasonal flu. New Student Representatives and invited them to the NSR welcome dinner tomorrow. The NSRs were introduced by a senator from their on sabbatical at the beginning of "Lisa is legitimately awesome," However, contracting H1N1 will December through next August. Young said. "If you tried to sneak not grant immunity to the seasonal corresponding colleges. Her last day as coordinator will be in to get your mail, she would not flu. For those students who feel an • Dan Fu, a representative from Rice's Crisis Management Team, spoke Nov. 6. let you leave without exchanging immediate need to obtain the season- about the university's response to the H1N1 flu virus. Fu asked people Bryan had a long history with pleasantries." al flu vaccine, Jenkins said it is avail- to refrain from referring to the disease as "swine flu" because of the Rice before she joined Jones Col- able at several local pharmacies. connotations relating to pork. Fu said anyone with underlying chron- lege in March 2005. Before assum- The H1N1 vaccine, now in its fi- ic conditions, such as asthma, who feels sick should contact Health ing the position of college coordi- a nal testing stages, is estimated to nator, Bryan worked in the Office become available next month, pos- Services or the CMT immediately. Symptoms of H1N1 include a 101- to of Admissions as Assistant Director sibly in two phases, Jenkins said. The 104-degree temperature, a sore throat and a cough. As of Monday, of Admission from 2004-05. Prior Although her duties CDC has stated on its Web site that Rice had 60 confirmed cases of H1N1 virus, though Fu said more will to that position, Bryan and Huston as college coordina- those under 25 are a priority in their likely arise. were masters at Hanszen College tor keep her very busy combating the virus, as H1N1 primar- from 1992-98. ily infects this younger subset of the • Fu said the CMT will be supplying student kits, thermometers, pocket Bryan's varied experiences at all day long, students population. Jenkins said older people tissues and H1N1 informational fliers to each college. Highly-touched Rice made her a great resource for can always count on may have a greater resistance due to areas on campus are also getting cleaned more often, he said. Vac- prospective students and staff at surviving previous pandemics. cinations will be available later this month, though only people with the Office of Admissions, Associate her to sit down and "People under 25 are unlikely to chronic conditions will need the vaccination. Director of Admissions Laura Villa- give them her undivid- have any inherent resistance," Jen- franca said. kins said. "Those at greater risk are • McAnaney presented the University Court nominations from last week: "She had a great perspective of ed attention.... Stu- anyone with a chronic condition that Jones College sophomore Paul Fitzgerald, Wiess College junior Austin Rice and knowledge of it, having dents have come to may impair response." Lipinski, Jones junior Michael Taylor and Hanszen College senior Ei- lived on campus," Villafranca said. depend on her warm He cited the CDC Web site as a leen Ong. The nominees were approved by the senate. Villafranca said Bryan had the good resource both for those already added perspective of a Rice parent, welcome when they infected and those still healthy. • Parliamentarian Jonathan Stewart requested that voting members of since her son attended Rice. step into her office. "Most people will recover with- the SA who plan to miss a meeting send a proxy to the meeting and In an e-mail sent to the Jones out the need for treatment, but those notify the Executive Council in advance. listserv, Bryan said she loved being with chronic conditions should have a Hanszen master, but loved being a conversation with their treating • Stewart, a Jones sophomore, announced that club approvals and reg- Rudy and Nancy Guerra the Jones Coordinator even more. doctor," Jenkins said. istration ?»re now on the Web site at sa.rice.edu. Club approvals will be Jones College Masters Bryan declined to comment for The CDC currently does not rec- made when the constitution is enacted. this story. ommend treatment for those not at • McAnaney announced the $2 A Day Challenge, hosted by Owl Microfi- Jones Resident Associate Ma- 99 considerable risk, as this generally rissa Howat said she and other only reduces symptom duration and nance and Engineers Without Borders. The shanty town was completed students felt sad when they heard has side effects of its own. and fundraisers were planned to be held throughout the week, along Bryan was leaving. Nancy Guerra noted Bryan's "H1N1 behaves pretty much like with organized tours. "She's really been integral to the personability. the standard flu," Jenkins added. "As- Jones foundation that we have," "She never met any student that sume shared surfaces are infected, The SA will meet Monday, Sept. 21 at 9 p.m. in the Famsworth Pavilion. Howat said. "As soon as [the stu- she didn't relate to, no matter their and, should you become critically ill, dents] found out, they were pretty background," she said. seek immediate medical attention." bummed out." Throughout her five-year ten- Howat, who is also Assistant Di- ure as Hanszen master, Bryan en- rector of the Wellness Center, said trenched herself in Hanszen ac- Bryan had an open-door policy that tivities, appearing in the college's UPCOMING PERFORMANCES brought dozens of students into her musicals, Glynda Comby, who Stanton Welch office throughout the day. served as the Hanszen Coordina- Artistic Director "Lisa is really available in terms tor while Bryan and Huston were Manon of visibility," Howat said. "She masters, said. She said Bryan made is always there at the college, if a memorable impression at her ini- 2009-2010 -> Friday, Sept. 18 at 7:30 pm not more so than the masters and tial interview. Season the RAs." "I remember at her interview Jones Masters Rudy and Nancy for college master she was wearing Guerra said Bryan would leave big a brown suit with a mini-skirt and shoes to fill. cowboy boots," Comby said. Friday, Oct. 2 at 7:30 pm "Although her duties as col- Plans are currently underway for lege coordinator keep her very a formal student farewell to honor busy all day long, students can Bryan for the service she gave to always count on her to sit down Jones. Howat said. and give them her undivided at- "When I think of Jones, [Bry- tention," the Guerras said in an e- an] is a part of that picture," mail sent to the Jones Associates. Young said. "Whether it's helping them track D

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* Our Surcharges (ind. Fed. Univ. Svc. of 12.9% of interstate & int'l telecom charges (varies quarterly), 7C Regulatory ft 92< Administrative/line/mo., ft others by area) are not taxes (details: 1 888 684 1888); gov't taxes ft our surcharges could add 7% 27% to your bill. Activation fee/line: $35. IMPORTANT CONSUMER INFORMATION: Subject to Customer Aqmt, Data Plan, credit approval & rebate form. Up to $175 early termination fee, up to $.10/MB after allowance. Mobile Broadband is available to more than 280 million people in the U S. in 259 major metros. Offers & coverage not available everywhere. Rebate debit card takes up to 6 wks. & exp. in 12 mos. Network details & coverage maps at verizonwireless.com. ©2009 Verizon Wireless. NETS FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11,2009 THE RICE THRESHER NEWS Honor Council working group presents findings

BY JACLYN YOUNGBLOOD THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF HONOR CODE SURVEY RESULTS

After nearly a year of research, the Working Group on the Honor Council presented its findings on efficiency Faculty Graduate students Undergraduates within the organization this week.

The 11-member group — comprised 48.5% of an assortment of professors, stu- 57.4% dents and a representative from the Of- fice of the President — was charged last October with evaluating the functional- 41.1% ity of the Honor Council. The Honor Council is a group of undergraduate and graduate students 35-5% who review, interpret and oversee the Would you support 31.2% Honor System and hear cases on pur- a change to the 35.3% ported violations. Rice Honor System Working Group Chair Evan Sie- that would create mann, an Ecology and Evolutionary a separate process Biology professor, began looking into for graduate stu- the Honor Council last year after hear- 19.4% ing faculty members' and students' dents and under- frustrations. graduate students? "We thought it was time to take At what level of the a look at whether or not the Honor university should Council was working as well as it could," Siemann said. graduate student From the survey data, the group violations be 4.0% 4.9% developed two recommendations handled? that it presented to the Faculty Senate 62.1% Wednesday. Discussion on both rec- ommendations was tabled until next month's Faculty Senate meeting. NO To gauge perceptions of the coun- 45.8% cil's efficacy, the group conducted a SurveyMonkey.com survey of faculty, undergraduate students and graduate students from July 31 to Aug. 15. Survey questions ranged from past interactions with the Honor Council to the nature of violations with which the respondent had been involved. 78.5% A total of 205 faculty, 366 graduate 75-3% students and 909 undergraduate stu- 69.8% 69.8% dents responded. Would you support Based on the results for two ques- resolving certain 61.1% tions in particular, Siemann said the group was able to hone in on two cases violations via an that seemed to be supported across all agreement between Uo.8% Hi three demographics and make recom- the faculty member mendations for the Faculty Senate. ana student outside < 1' The first recommendation the group of the Honor proposed was to create a separate Honor Council for graduate students. Council? What types 31.1% I of violations should Currently, the council has 30 under- 25.9% graduate positions and four graduate be handled directly 23.0% positions and hears both undergradu- between faculty ate and graduate cases. 17.5% and students? "As far as we can tell from survey- ing other schools with student honor 7.7% systems, we can't find any other school YES that has grad students and undergrads 66.8% YES NO being heard by a common council," 87.0% 13.0% Siemann said. NO The working group looked into 33.2% the student-governed honor systems at Princeton University, the College of William & Mary, California Institute of Technology, Sewanee University and GRAPHIC BY ERIC DOCTOR the University of Virginia when com- posing the survey. support, with 78.5 percent of graduate intimidate students. She said a process Of the faculty members who re- students and 87 percent of undergrad- that involved only the student and the 713.529.2891 sponded, 62.1 percent approved estab- uates in favor of such a measure. faculty member might make the stu- lishing a separate Honor Council for dent more comfortable in defending his graduate students. Of graduate stu- or herself. While Ernst echoed Jacob- dents surveyed, 63.1 percent were in fa- fi son's support for the recommendation, vor, while 54.2 percent of undergradu- she said the logistics of such a process ates surveyed agreed. I find the Honor would be tricky. Siemann said if the Faculty Sen- Council and the whole "Where do you draw the line be- ate approves this motion, the Gradu- tween what goes to the Honor Council ate Student Association will be in elaborate-rules thing and what doesn't?" Ernst said. charge of investigating the feasibil- kind of Draconian. It Chair of the Honor Council Lind- ity of instituting a separate graduate would be nice if the say Kirton said it is difficult to judge student honor council. the relative severity of violations be- The Faculty Senate will also vote process could be cause academic departments have next month on whether certain of- simplified. differing opinions. fenses could be handled between "We don't view plagiarism as worse the offending student and the fac- Samuel Jacobson than taking longer on a take-home ulty member, independent of the Baker College senior exam," she said. S RICE Student Honor Council. Kirton, a Wiess College junior, said "A fair number of violations that she appreciates the efforts of the work- -- STIMULUS PACKAGE could go to the Honor Council don't go M ing group and is interested in studying to the Honor Council," Siemann said. the results of the survey in more detail. "[There] potentially is a huge difference However, the ultimate authority does Get a "HOOT" Kahn's Dell Caters! in the types of penalties students are Baker College senior Samuel Jacob- not lie with the Honor Council; students We have plenty of subjected to based on whether [a viola- son said he agreed with the majority must vote on amendments during the Smoked Turkey, Ham, choices to make your next tion! went to Honor Council or not." of undergraduate students who would general election to enact any changes. Pepperoni, Provolone party or event deliciously While 47.7 percent of faculty report- support an external vehicle for conflict "Amending the Honor Council Cheese and Kahn's memorable! ed resolving a violation outside of the resolution. constitution is up to the students," Signature Dressing on Honor Council in the past, 66.8 percent "I find the Honor Council and she said. "It wouldn't just be us de- M2-86040SS said they would "support a resolution the whole elaborate-rules thing kind ciding. It's up to the students to see a Fresh Baked Bun 4.99 of some violations via an agreement of Draconian," Jacobson said. "It what they want." between the faculty member and stu- would be nice if the process could be The responsibility of further wi m dent outside of Honor Council." simplified." investigating this motion, should ?7#i 57Xtc. ~\7i-LLajyjc- AVAILABLE Student support for an external res- Will Rice College sophomore A1 it pass, would lie with the Honor 2429 Times Blvd. kahnsdeli.com olution process was higher than faculty Ernst said the Honor Council seems to Council, Siemann said. 8 NEWS THK RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11,2009 mmmmmmcmmmm RUPD HedgeHopperexpands reach PROW f*A6E I

BY MARIELLE SCHWEICKART and shops on the Web site. Makhani FOR THE THRESHER said even more businesses will be apartments to the CtoeenferiM Ww tine paoe ot previous wars did not to do it. We send out notes, and we added or their discounts updated don't get responses from students. apartments. prevent misunderstandings fiom Thai food, gyros, ice cream, throughout the year. But that is what we would like to These openings in the police foav occurring. During Orientation Week glasses and bicycles are just some The HedgeHopper program have: faculty, students and staff to coincide with a university-wide in- adviser training last month, sev- of the discounted items students, capitalizes on Rice's impact on help out." crease of L2i students from last fall, eral students received a version of a faculty and staff can purchase with nearby businesses in Rice Village including a 13-percent increase in speech that, to them, seemed out of For the time being, there has this year's HedgeHopper cards. The and greater West University. Busi- foreign national students who may be line with RUPD's previous approach been no visible change in RUPD's cards, organized by the Student As- nesses pay an annual $50 fee to be less familiar with the local laws. These to campus security, one that Taylor procedures or impact on campus, sociation, were distributed during featured on the card. To receive the trends are expected to hold over the called a miscommunication. Wakefield, a Wiess senior, said. the first week of classes by the col- discount, students must present next few years. The formula of more "They actually told us that if "The one time [RUPD] came to a lege coordinators. their card and Rice ID at the time any of our freshmen were caught party at Wiess, they followed all the students and less RUPD officers makes The card offers discounts at all of purchase. drinking, we would be held respon- same rules," Wakefield said. "Ev- campus safekeeping a more trying previously featured restaurants, Makhani said that some problems sible," Brett Wakefield, an 0-Week erything is fine now. We have no- task, Taylor said. including popular eateries Swirll have arisen with the card because of a coordinator at Wiess College, said. ticed that everything has been good "It just means we are going to and Niko Niko's, SA External Vice lack of communication between man- "Everyone was pissed. Here, Night over here." have to work harder," Taylor said. President Amber Makhani said. agement and employees at a number of Decadence was basically the big "It is harder to get time off. It makes She also said additional businesses of restaurants, especially at Amy's deal. If what tlicy said was true, no things more difficult for us. The Filling spaces with more practical services such as Ice Cream. She said this has been one would open up [rooms]." schedules are tight." Taylor estimates RUPD will Today's Vision and Bike Barn were minimal, however, and encourages Taylor said he is confident that even The miscommunication stemmed soon be filling two of the four va- added this year. students to contact her at makhani@ without the additional staff the univer- from a switch in personnel, accord- cant slots, but this process will not Makhani, a Martel College soph- rice.edu if they find that the card is not sity remains safe as ever, and despite ing to Taylor. be completed anytime soon. After omore, said she made it her goal to being accepted by a listed restaurant an increase in demand, the new officers "There isn't a philosophical the screening and evaluations are expand and diversify this relatively or shop. will live up to the highest standard. change [in RUPD policy]," Taylor completed and a formal invitation new program, which launched in Though the HedgeHopper card But as the number of students said. "It was just a miscue." extended, the recruits go through fall 2006. provides a long list of participating rises, the needs of the department In attempting to improve com- 11 weeks of training, and only then To choose new businesses to in- businesses, many students are un- may run up against the slow-mov- munication, RUPD looks for com- will they be allowed to perform in clude on the card, she said she re- aware of its benefits. ing economic stimulus program. munity input when replenishing full capacity as RUPD officers. This lied on personal experience. "I've never used this [card], but their numbers, he said. As part of timeline suggests RUPD likely will RUPD officers could not comment "I tried to the think about the maybe I will now," Maggie Murphy, the agency's screening procedure, not have new officers until next se- on RUPD's plans for expansion. things I use," Makhani said. "I just a Martel College senior, said. recruits undergo an assessment mester, at the earliest, further hin- "When we have all the new col- love discounts." Murphy added that she likes the panel, designed to give students, dering their ability to make up for leges [filled to capacity], we are This year's program, which ex- card's new discounts, especially the faculty and staff an opportunity to the previous year's losses. going to ask for new officers to do panded from 16 to 21 businesses, discount at Today's Vision. [help patrol]," Taylor said. "In fact, engage with potential officers. Taylor said the application process is has grown to the point where not all Wiess College junior Siegfried it [will get] large enough to where During this process, members selective. On average, of 100 applicants businesses fit on the physical card; Bilstein was also impressed with we are going to have to ask for a of the Rice community from across to the force, three get called back. the additional businesses are listed the HedgeHopper's discounts. new supervisor." campus act out scenarios and give "We have been pretty selective, at sa.rice.edu. Students can write "It helps me take all the ladies the recruits an opportunity to show- and we will continue to be selective, Taylor said RUPD plays a vital reviews for the featured restaurants out on cheap dates," Bilstein said. role on campus. case their interpersonal skills and because we feel that officers that "We are in the middle of the decision-making abilities. How- work here need to be better officers fourth-largest city in the country," ever, just when RUPD needs new than those who work for the City of Taylor said. "There is no wall or recruits the most, student input in Houston," Taylor said. "They need to fence around this campus. We are the process has been nonexistent, be able to interact with the student the wall. We are the people who are Taylor said. population, faculty and staff, and they RUPD POLICE BLOTTER supposed to provide that level of se- "When we first started doing need to be thinking more. Th" mindset The following items were reported to the Rice Univer- curity to keep it safe." this, we used to have all kinds of is not 'hook 'em and book 'em.'" sity Police Department for the period Sept. 3-8. staff and students to do it," Taylor Communication issues said. "But in the last few years it Katharine Yang contributed to the RESIDENTIAL COLLEGES RUPD's intent to keep up with has been really hard to get students story. Brown College Sept. 7 Theft

ACADEMIC BUILDINGS Anderson Hall Sept. 3 Criminal Mischief Space Sciences Sept. 3 Criminal Trespass Geology Sept. 8 Theft

NGAGEMENT COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT CENTER OTHER LOCATIONS Sept. 3 Driving without a Off Campus license Sept. 3 Drug/narcotics Off Campus OPPORTUNITIES FOR FUNDING TO violation Greenbriar Lot Sept. 4 Burglary of a motor VOLUNTEER ABROAD vehicle Village Apartments Sept. 5 Criminal mischief Off Campus Sept. 7 Aggravated assault Loewenstern Fellowships Village Apartments Sept. 7 Theft Earn a stipend of up to $6,500 for a summer of international service in Latin Entrance No. 20 Sept. 7 Warrants Entrance No. 3 Sept. 8 Warrants America or Asia! As a Loewenstern Fellow you will have the opportunity to serve Entrance No. 4 Sept. 8 Aggravated assault in a 4-12 week placement, receiving a stipend to pay for travel to/from host country, living expenses, program fees, and other expenses. In this third year, up to 30 Fellows will participate in direct service work and will be required to select their individual project through a list of approved third-party providers.

Rice Developing World Student's Scholarship This need-based scholarship provides assistance to participate in international service work over winter break, spring break, or the summer, One $2,000 need- based scholarship will be awarded to assist an undergraduate student funding an independent service trips to a region that is considered a developing or Third World country. Those serving as part of a group experience are not eligible.

Find out more about these programs, hear from past participants, and learn about the application process, by coming to one of our Information Sessions: West Unirnitx Baptist Church invites you to worship, the study of God's Word and MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 14 OR TUESDAY. SEPTEMBER 15 fellowship. U> have both contemporary and traditional Sunday worship senices, as well 4:00- 5:00PM as a college-level Bible study class that is attended by my Rice University students and RMC 2ND FLOOR CONFERENCE ROOM taught by Dr. Jim Tour, Free breakfast is always served in the class. Located two miles directly west ojcampus at bl 18 Men between University and Rice. Free round-trip FOR MORE INFORMATION AND TO APPLY FOR BOTH OF THE ABOVE PROGRAMS, PLEASE VISIT THE COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT CENTER'S WEB SITE AT shuttle semce is provided each Sunday morning leaving at 8.75 AM and 9:15 AM on the HTTP://CIC.RICE.EDU. IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS. CALL (713-348-4970) OR loop in front of Rice) Mien Center, See www.wubc.org for details, or call 713M F-MAIL ([email protected]) THE COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT CENTER. Contemporary Worship: 8:30 AM DISCOVER. VOl.UNTF.ER. LEAD. CIC.RICF.EDU IIIE CENTER FOR CIVIC ENGAGEMENT ® RICE Bible Study Class: 9:45 AM Traditional Worship: 11:00 AM FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11,2009 THE RICE THRESHER NEWS 9

FACULTY SENATE MINUTES The following were noted at the most recent meeting of Professors win $40,000 grant the Faculty Senate on Sept. 9. UH, Rice researchers partner to study sustainability in Houston

• There were twc new appointments of senators. Professor Mark BY SETH BROWN Shell Center Associate Director Lili- ronmental dangers. Kulstad was appointed to represent the Philosophy Department FOR THE THRESHER beth Andre said. Blackburn said these negative and G.S. Wortham Professor of Architecture Albert Pope was ap- Since its inception in 2003, the characteristics of Houston may play pointed to proxy for Dean of Architecture John Casbarian, who is With Houston as their backdrop, Shell Center has been funding re- a role in the economy, which is cur- rently undergoing a dramatic shift on leave this semester. a team of Rice and University of search projects that incorporate fac- Houston researchers will put Moth- ulty and students and include an in- toward greater concern for sustain- er Nature to the test by evaluating terdisciplinary element. able development. • The senate moved to approve the proposed calendar for the the city's sustainability. After be- "I think we are moving toward an 2010-11 academic year. ing awarded a $40,000 grant from economy that is defined by terms dif- the Shell Center for Sustainability, 44 ferent than GDP," Blackburn said. "I • The senate ratified the summer action of the Executive Commit- which is based out of the James A. don't think you will be able to think tee, changing the name of the Jesse H. Jones Graduate School of Baker III Institute for Public Policy, of growth without environmental Business doctorate degree from Management to Business. the researchers will team up to craft Sustainability is footprint being taken into account. a set of measurements to determine both an exciting and ... If a certain company is looking • Speaker and Professor Duane Windsor informed the Senate that whether or not Houston's progress is to relocate its headquarters, they the sessions would start being audio-taped, and the tapes will be feasibly sustainable. interesting area, might choose not to be located in a stored for 12 months before being destroyed. The areas of specialty for the because it combines place that is highly flood prone, has three researchers — Jim Blackburn, the environment, air that is unhealthy or has cancer- • Windsor, a professor at the Jones School, also announced that professor in the practice of envi- causing emissions." the Senate agenda and minutes will be posted on OWL-Space. ronmental law; Stephen Klineberg, economy and social Jones College freshman Kirby Kem- Senators will receive all high-priority announcements and have sociology professor and director thinking. That re- pe said he believes now is the time for environmental responsibility. the option of receiving the low-priority announcements. This will of the Urban Research Center of ally is the challenge streamline the system and limit the amount of e-mail passing Houston; and Barton Smith, eco- "Now that we have the technology and the resources to know how our back and forth. nomics professor and director of of it. Seldom do we the Institute for Regional Forecast- consider these three decisions are impacting the environ- ing at the University of Houston ment, not doing anything would be • Deputy Speaker Jim Young gave the report from the Working Group — represent three key areas to test things together. irresponsible," Kempe said. "I think on Teaching. The four areas studied were regulation for teaching Houston's sustainability. everyone has an obligation to reduce awards, possibilities for faculty development, methods for evalu- "Sustainability is both an excit- Jim Blackburn their footprint." ating teaching effectiveness and ways to incorporate those evalu- ing and interesting area, because it Environmental Law Professor It may take a long time for the frui- ations into the review process. combines the environment, economy tion of Blackburn's research to im- and social thinking," Blackburn said. W pact Houston, but he is ready for the • Senator Evan Siemann gave the report from the Working Group on "That is really the challenge of it. difficult, multilayered challenge. In the Honor System. From the results of the survey of undergradu- Seldom do we consider these three attempting to address the problem, ates, graduate students and faculty, the group recommended the things together." The research, which is planned Blackburn, his team and his students creation of a unique Honor System for graduate students. The The research that Blackburn is to study a variety of economic, so- may not find a comprehensive solu- group also plans to study the possibility of creating a standard- planning to do runs in tandem with cial and environmental indicators tion, but the professor will take the difficulties in stride. ized process for resolving Honor Code violations between faculty a new course on measuring sustain- over time, could have a large im- pact on the city, Blackburn said. "We may find that we are mea- and students. Both motions were tabled for the next meeting. ability, which will be offered next se- mester. Blackburn and his students He said Houston is currently not suring the wrong thing," Blackburn will attempt to come up with indica- complying with either the Federal said. "It is very much going to be a • Windsordiscussed the senate's current working agenda. He men- tors that can help determine a city's Clean Air Act or the Federal Clean true intellectual exercise of search- tioned the Working Group on Amorous Relations and the univer- sustainable future. Water Act. In addition, Blackburn ing. ... That is what is going to be sity's new policy, which went into effect at the beginning of the "We want to get new research points to the loss of wetlands and fun and difficult. I actually think of month. off the ground and spark new areas the dangers of flood plains as in- sustainable development as more of to come up with new information," dicators of Houston's current envi- a process." • Windsor explained the possibilities for three new Working Groups: one to investigate grade inflation at Rice, one to review the appeals, grievances and hearings processes and one regard- ing the Committee on the Rice Undergraduate Program, which will continue to examine the undergraduate curriculum. D'OH! you gave this girl your password • Senator Deborah Harter suggested a new Working Group on gov- ernance, related to the Faculty Merger Review Committee. and personal information? • Siemann, an Ecology and Evolutionary Biology professor, an- nounced plans for five new biosciences majors.

• Senator Randy Batsell volunteered to chair the Working Group on Grade Inflation.

• Windsor adjourned the meeting to the Executive Session. You just fell for a The Faculty Senate wilt meet Wednesday, Oct. 7 from noon-2 p.m. in the Founder's Room of Lovett Hall. phishing email and got scammed!

COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT CENTER Now she is sending spam from your Do you have an idea for a one-time service project? account. Does your organization need funding for an existing service program?

Then apply for the: COMMUNITY SERVICE GRANT If you fall for a scam, The Community Service Grant provides funding for contact your SCC or the registered student organizations to support service through one-time projects, on-going programs, and annual operating Help Desk immediately budgets for student service organizations. to reset your password: 713.348.helP (4357J or TO I EARN MORE ABOUT THE COMMUNITY SERVICE [email protected] GRANT, AND TO APPLY, VISIT THE COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT CENTER'S WEB SI I F AT HTTP://C ICRICE.EDU.

Tall 2009 Application Deadline: 5:00PM MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, 2009 Don't give UP your password to anyone. DhCOVfR. VOLUNTffR. LEAD [III CENTER FOR Civic t.NCACEMEMf ymcE BRIO 10 NEWS THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11,2009 er and shanties What happens when over 70 students, surviving on only the bare minimum, set up camp in the Central Quad shanties? Beans, stench and, for a lucky few, a spot on the nightly news.

Irrjif

1. Students use all the tools in their arsenal to construct Rice's first shanty town, com- pleted on Monday, the day before students moved in. 2. Students living in tents on two dollars a day struggled to avoid the temptation of a latte from the nearby Brochstein Pavilion. 3. Wiess College junior jeremy Goodreau dishes on the shanties Wednesday morning to ABC 13 reporters, who didn't sign up for the rain. 4. Challenge participants sit on makeshift seats, made of cardboard and plywood, awaiting their dinner of rice and beans — the same they get at every meal. 5. jones College sophomore Elizabeth Ramirez stands outside her shanty, daydreaming about her comfortable bed back at Jones to which she will return once students move out this afternoon. 6. With only the light of a lantern to guide them, students trek down the road to aca- demia. It appears that not even poverty can deter Rice students from their homework. 7. Jones freshman Samuel Whisler scoops himself a serving of rice as he enjoys an apple, leaving Jones sophomore Stephen Haff to look on in hunger.

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avilion New Visual Arts coordinators seek more student art in Farnsworth

BY JOE DWYER paintings hanging by Disability er flexibility than in other spaces THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF Support Services to the "big polysty- on campus. According to Lee, only rene white thing near Coffeehouse." the Visual Arts Coordinators and Mike Judge Extracts a Opened in 1986 as part of the By increasing the amount of stu- their adviser, Student Center Assis- Ley Student Center expansion, dent artwork being put on display tant Director of Programs and Mar- next to the existing Rice Memorial in Farnsworth this year, both Lee keting Erin Dement, get to choose winner with latest comedy Center, the Farnsworth Pavilion Art and Lin hope that they can in turn and place the artwork, which is BYKAITCHURA Ready to sell the company he started Gallery has become best known as increase the visibility and viability something they figure out on an in- FORTHETHRESHER from scratch, Joel is within reach of re- a meeting space. Home to countless of the pavilion as another venue for dividual basis with each artist. tirement when a freak accident at work luncheons, Student Association exhibits at Rice. Because of the amount of people When peering into the blue-collar meetings, dance classes and other "In the past we've had a lot of coming in and out of the pavilion workplace, Mike Judge's Office Space random events, few people think of traveling exhibits and exhibits every day, and the need for differ- is at the top of the paper heap. Judge it as a true art exhibition space, es- coming from outside Rice," Lin ent room configurations throughout brings his comedic intelligence back pecially when there are already two said, "Now we want to put together the week to accommodate various to the stack in his latest movie, Extract, established art venues at either end themed art shows. Or, if any stu- meetings, the coordinators are often focusing on the owner of a food extract of campus in Sewall Hall's Rice Gal- dents are interested in curating a faced with some unique obstacles. company in Podunk, U.S.A. in this Extract lery and at the Rice Media Center. show, we could work with them on "Some artists come in and want smart and smarmy satire. However, two students are out that as well. ... We kind of want to to set up their artwork a certain way, While Extract is unable to live up • • • • to change that perception. Hanszen model ourselves after the student and it's a little bit limiting because to its iconic predecessor — and may Starring: Jason Bateman, College junior Amy Lin and Lovett shows in the [Rice Media Center], we have a certain number of walls not have the cultural impact of Mil- Mila Kunis, Ben Affleck College junior Teresa Lee have not as competition, but just as more and a certain combination of setups ton's stapler — that doesn't mean that Rated:R paired up as the Visual Arts Pro- space and more opportunities for they can actually do," Lin said, add- it is not worth the cost of admission. A Released: Sept. 4 gram Coordinators for the Student the artists on campus." ing that Farnsworth can only display strong cast combines with an original Center, responsible for any and all The Farnsworth Art Gallery's two-dimensional art. and realistic plot, allowing Extract to be artwork you see hanging through- unique draw is that it is student- While these may seem like limit- the intelligent comedy that will fill the out the building, from the splatter run, allowing its coordinators great- O see GALLERY, page 14 current vacuum. Jason Bateman (Arrested Devel- leaves one of his workers without a tes- opment) plays Joel, the sex-deprived ticle and with the ability to sue the com- Arctic Monkeys explore new musical paths owner of Reynold's Extract Company. S3 see EXTRACT, page 14 BYSTEPHEN MORRIS minutely detailed lyrics, made it an Favourite Worst Nightmare, show- FOR THE THRESHER instant classic, setting fire to the casing a fuller, more mature palette charts in Britain and drawing plen- while maintaining the unbridled As is the case with many aspects energy that endeared them to so of Arctic Monkeys' latest album, many. Now enters Humbug, a seem- the title Humbug draws attention ingly strange detour on a path that because of its unexpectedness. seemed foolish to turn from. The word's meaning nowadays Leading up to the album's re- is akin to "nonsense" or "gibber- lease, some — including myself — ish," but fortunately for listeners Humbug felt no small amount of apprehen- the songs themselves are anything • • • • sion about Humbug. As the early but. Arctic Monkeys reach in very reports on Arctic Monkeys' progress different directions for influence trickled in, all signs pointed to them Artist: Arctic Monkeys and inspiration this time around, abandoning their signature style for Label: Domino and the resulting collision between a slower, more plodding feel. Released: Aug. 24 their old and new styles works The clues were many: wear- impressively well. ing Black Sabbath shirts to photo The choice to diverge from their shoots, listening to Cream and Jimi old style was certainly a bold one. Hendrix and working with pro- J.K. Simmons (left) and Jason Bateman (right) get serious in Extract. Arctic Monkeys have been a huge ty of attention Stateside as well. ducer Josh Homme, better known success with their kinetic, angu- They continued to impress with Osee HUMBUG, page 14 SPLASH ASTROS BEATLES Couldn't make it to Schlitter- The Astros continue their bahn last weekend? It's cool, homestand this weekend Tomorrow at 7 p.m., 40 local Splashtown's closer anyways, CINEMA against the Pittsburgh Pirates. musicians will be performing The park is open from noon to If they do not sweep the Pi- a free, live performance of the 6 p.m tomorrow and Sunday, MFAH is showing Rosselini's rates, who now have the lon- Beatles' Abbey Road to com- and if you get your One-day Vanina Vanini tonight at gest streak of consecutive los- memorate its 40th anniver- tickets online, you only pay 7 p.m. and Luigi Comencini's THE ing seasons in any of the four sary. The public is encoucaged $29.99 plus tax. Not a bad Bread, Love and Dreams Sun- WEEKLY major North American sports to bring a non-perishable do- deal if you ask me. If you're day at s p.m. as part of their (17), I will get a haircut. Check nation for Houston food bank. under 48 inches you'll get in Fourth Annual Italian Retro- * SCENE out the site for tickets and Be sure to bring along a blan- for even cheaper at $24.99. spective film series. Students times. ket or lawn chair to sit on. Get it, shawty. with ID get in for $». Joe's picks for events outside the hedges, both MJNUTE MAID PARK DISCOVERY GREEN SPLASMTOWN MFAH BROWN AUDITORIUM around Rice and in the 501 CRAWFORD LABRANCH AT LAMAR 21300 tH 45 Worth, in Swwwg IOOI B4SSONW£T Houston area, for this week. WWW.ASTROS.COM WWW. DISCOVERYG REEN. COM WWW. SPLASHTOWNPARK. COM WWW.MFAH.ORG/FILMS FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11,2009 12 A&E THE RICE THRESHER Despite star power, My One and Only delivers nothing but boredom

preciate the beautiful way in which the don't quite fit into the usual pic- BY JACKIE AMNIONS a new husband with deep pockets. terrupts any chance each narrative ture of the 1950s. Anne discovers Among the potential candidates are has at growth. film presents the images of the 1950s: THRESHER STAFF she doesn't need a man in a world an abusive ex-military man (Sex in Zellweger and Bacon are certainly The period sets (such as an old-fash- ioned diner), the swinging tunes and stereotypically ruled by them, The 1950s, or so the stereotype the City's Chris Noth), a bankrupt talented actors, but their characters the fantastic costumes (Anne always and her flamboyant and fashion- goes, were a time of peaceful pic- former boyfriend (The Day the Earth are as interesting as curdled milk. Zell- appears in white) all show the classic forward son finds acceptance in nics and families happily cruising Stood Still's J.C. MacKenzie), a men- weger is the stuck-up, selfish woman environment of the decade. a setting where men are usually in four-door Cadillacs. Staid and tally-disturbed married salesman who has spent too much time shopping praised for their dark suits and calm, they were borderline unin- (Extract's David Koechner) and a and too little time with her children. Additionally, while the film plac- stoic demeanor. teresting and often uneventful. man (Trust Me's Eric McCormack) Bacon is the cheating husband who es Zellweger in the role of a woman With its pearl-necklaced house- whose scorn unfairly lands her in fools around with a younger woman who is older than the characters she But these social distinctions, wives and tweed-suited fathers, My jail for solicitation. After numerous and then wants to get his wife back. usually plays, the actress pulls off hinted at through the film, are not One and Only nails this stereotype failed attempts, Anne learns that Because of the plot's lack of develop- the role of a middle-aged woman enough to make up for the bland- just right. you don't have to be married to live ment, the characters have no room well enough with her aphorisms and ness that permeates throughout. a happy life. for growth and are subsequently stale white gloves. The boring plot and the uninvolved For each spot on the map that and one dimensional. The social messages of My One characters are enough to make you Anne and her sons visit, there is a Nevertheless, My One and Only isn't and Only are also commendable, as pile into the Cadillac and leave be- slight turn in the plot. In St. Louis, totally without merit. Audiences can ap- the film includes characters who fore the credits even begin rolling. one of her sons discovers his tal- ent for writing; in Hollywood, the My One and Only same son lands a studio contract; •",V« • • and in Pittsburgh, Anne begins to open up to a middle-class neigh- bors she used to scorn. While each Starring: Renee m Zellweger, Kevin Bacon Rated: PG-13 H Released: Aug. 21 (limited), Sept. 4 Aside from a slight (expanded) dose of feminism, this film contains

Unfortunately, My One and Only nothing unique, also stays true to the high level of nothing special boredom wrought by the decade. Aside from a slight dose of femi- and nothing that nism, this film contains nothing unique, nothing special and noth- makes you stop ing that makes you stop your Cadil- your Cadillac-cruis- lac-cruising to go see it. My One and Only begins with ing to go see it Anne Deveraux (New in Town's Renee Zellweger) leaving her phi- 99 landering bandleader husband (Frost/Nixon's Kevin Bacon) and taking her two sons (3:10 to Yuma's of these plot points are interesting, Logan Lerman and The Explod- the film never develops any of them Kevin Bacon strikes up the band as Anne's ex-husband Danny Deveraux in the underwhelming film My One ing Girl's Mark Rendall) on a drive fully. The continual move from and Only. His character was based on real-life bandleader and ladies' man George "Spike" Hamilton. around the country in a quest to find town to town and man to man in-

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ORDER ONLINE AT JIMMYJOHNS.COM FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11,2009 THE RICE THRESHER A&E 13 Williams bringssober performance '*

1 in World's Greatest Dad

BY BRIAN REINHART '0H THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF

Robin Williams has a serious ac- tor's talent trapped in a comedian's brain. Even in his funny movies, he is best when acting with restraint: Witness his subtle performance in the flamboyant romp The Birdcage, or the way his character in Good Morning Vietnam changes as he re- alizes that war is not a joke.

World's Greatest Dad • • • • iir Starring: Robin Williams, Daryl Sabara Flashing a rare smile, high school poetry teacher Lance Clayton (Robin Williams, center) stands with art teacher and romantic interest Claire (Alexie Rated: R Released: Aug. 21 Gilmore, left) and Peter (Zach Sanchez, right), one of the students at the F.A. McDonald School. Clayton becomes an overnight sensation after his (limited), Sept. 4 son's death, thanks to a forged suicide note, but he struggles with the fact that his fame has come at the expense of his son's memory. (expanded)

rible grades, hurls sexual taunts at Poor Lance's troubles are just ful ending. Williams is startlingly Goldthwait is too reliant on music as girls in the hallways and spends his beginning In his agony and un- low key in a performance that will a crutch, shoehorning in loud rock time at home downloading pornog- willingness to tell the world that stun anyone who thinks of him songs at inappropriate moments World's Greatest Dad is another raphy. Early on, Kyle tells the only his son died while masturbating, as a madcap comic and nothing where silence would have been bet- comedy in which Williams keeps a boy who will put up with him that Lance forges a suicide note which more. He projects loneliness with ter. Goldthwait also wrote the screen- straight face. He plays Lance Clay- he has discovered some German is leaked to the rest of the school an awesome power, and every time play, and in so doing threw in a few ton, an unpopular high school porn depicting a man defecating on with extraordinary results. Kyle's he smiles, he only does so after a brief scenes which are, quite simply, teacher whose poetry class is filled a woman in bed. Kyle would be ea- fictitious cry for help convinces the struggle. Lance does make jokes not very interesting. Worst of all, one with empty desks, whose novels ger to try this out, except that every good people of the F.A. McDonald occasionally, but his jokes are the particular shot treats us to the im- are rejected by every publisher who girl at school hates him. School that they have misunder- lame barbs of a lonely man glad to age of Williams naked, something no reads them and whose son from a Lance tries to sort things out stood him, and the note changes find an audience. The real comedy moviegoer will want to see. long-ago fling is the school's requi- with his son, but things do not their lives. lies in the situation. Ultimately, the darkness of the site friendless loser. work out as well as he hopes: Kyle When the fake suicide note Indeed, in World's Greatest Dad satire in World's Greatest Dad is a Not only is his son a loner — he's chokes to death while experiment- spreads through the halls, the au- the laughs are on the whole high product of its message: We are all also causing Lance problems. The ing with autoerotic asphyxiation, dience is plunged headlong into a school population, driven to this too quick to glorify the dead, even if boy, Kyle (Spy Kids' Daryl Sabara), and Lance's last words to his son black, brilliant satire. Suddenly ev- frenzy of phoniness. Williams is we never respected them in life. In is on academic probation with hor- are expletives. eryone remembers liking him; the mainly here to feel the great pain of one crucial scene, we see students principal realizes that Kyle was not the movie's moral dilemma. In sac- at the McDonald School wearing a hateful loner but a genius who rificing his honesty to preserve his T-shirts emblazoned with Kyle's was bored. The target of this com- son's reputation, Lance becomes image. Kyle strikes the same pose KTRU TOP 35: WEEK OF SEPT. 6,2009 edy is one of our society's great sa- the center of attention. The student as fellow shirt icon Che Guevara, Tune in anytime, anywhere @ ktru.org cred cows — our glorification of the body lavishes him with sympathy, and even appears to be wearing recently deceased. daytime talk shows want to inter- Che's hat. World's Greatest Dad is a movie view him and publishing companies There was nothing about the artist album label running away from its own cyni- ask him to write a book. But Lance lives of Kyle and Che that sug- various ktru local live vol. 1 ktru cism. It is bleakly funny, but has knows he is living a lie. gested they had earned their heroic nigeria 70-the definitive story of various strut very few genuine laughs and is Granted, there are a few prob- status. Sometimes, this movie la- 1970s funkylagos relentlessly dark, but with a hope- lems with this movie. Director Bobcat ments, dying is good enough. black moth super rainbow eating us graveface various the sounds of wonder finders keepers the sexual life of the savages: various underground post-punk from soul jazz records sao paolo wooden shjips dos holy mountain 'Dean 'DertiL&i, nuggets ii: original artyfacts various from the british empire and rhino beyond 1964-1969 6*ive all t&e&e (Ucutitty, t&zt need elfin saddle ringing for the begin again constellation nomo invisible cities ubiquity recordings, inc. atuMwUtty. tA&ulct 1 aaA? various well hung finders-keepers angell, theo tenebrae amish greg greg self-released smith, elder Utah i got two wings casequarter micachu jewellery rough trade - * foubert, casey/james asthmatic kitty mcalister volume 3: music for drums black dice repo paw tracks various sleepwalking through the m80 mekong everything she touched turned prefuse 73 warp attMven to- t&at C& aufiet aiwifele. Su6*put cfwi to ampexian various jalan jalan urck platinum pied pipers abundance ubiquity cfruedtiotui cmaXl fo [email protected] a* (Uf cave psychic psummer important paradox end of earth called to mind fo brown.rice.edu/deordenver. a&l&uue. whitmore, william elliot animals in the dark anti various bklyn heavy sounds from the bastard jazz county of kings —'Dettwi tyieette night control death control kill shaman cromagnon cave rock esp various cool cats sub rosa acid mothers temple and lord of the underground: vishnu the melting paraiso u.f.o. and magic elixir alien8 Introducing Dear Denver, seasoned advice discovery IP xl recordings lansky, paul music box bridge from a seasoned non-professional. bonnie "prince" billy ask forgiveness domino storsveit nix noltes royal family divorce fat cat mono hymn to the immortal wind temporary residence Only on ricethresher.org bluer)**, nanda classical vocal concord records mouthful of bees mouthful of bees ,on records FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11,2009 TT A&E THE RICE THRESHER • GALLERY • EXTRACT FROM PAGE 11 FROM PAGE 11

ing factors, Farnsworth enjoys more pany for millions. foot traffic than the Rice Gallery or the To make matters worse, Joel's frus- Rice Media Center, although the peo- tration with his sexless marriage causes ple may not always be there for just him to develop an attraction to Cindy the artwork. "We've had people who (Max Payne's Mila Kunis), the factory use [Farnsworth] for non-art events, temp. While Cindy has plans of her and they'll cover pictures they think own, the obvious mutual attraction are indecent, which is completely does inspire some hilarious antics, on against their contract," Lee said. Joel's part, to motivate him to cheat The first exhibit the coordina- on his wife. A lesson learned from this tors have planned for Farnsworth film: When you are high on horse tran- involves about 20 different artists quilizers, it becomes logical to hire a and examines the different ways gigolo to seduce your wife, so that then that Houston uses water. It doesn't you can go have sex with someone else have an official name yet, and will without guilt. run for the month of October, but Lee made sure to point out that U there is still plenty of space in Farn- sworth's exhibit schedule. "As of now we have several months open, When you are high and exhibits last two to four weeks, so we're trying to populate that." on horse tranquil- A Web site for the Farnsworth izers, it becomes Pavilion Art Gallery is in the works, but if students are interested in get- logical to hire a ting more information about sub- The walls are bare for now, but Lovett junior Teresa Lee (left) and Hanszen junior Amy Lin (right) both have big gigolo to seduce mitting their work or about the art plans this year for the Farnsworth Pavilion Art Gallery, such as increasfrg its visibility and viability as another gallery, they can e-mail either coor- your wife. venue on campus for student artists to showcase their work. dinator at [email protected] or [email protected]. 99

• HUMBUG Bateman and Kunis help lead the FROM PAGE 11 movie, but it is with the supporting cast that the film really succeeds. J.K. as the main man behind Queens of as frenetic, the guitars are layered a thick, buzzing bass trundling in "Secret Door:" "She swam out Simmons (I Love You, Man) sets up the Stone Age. All were acts with with more fuzz and the bass is no- underneath serpentine guitars of tonight's phantasm/Grabbed as the assistant manager who does plenty of merit, but not ones that ticeably more prominent than in and Turner's unmistakable croon. my hand and made it very clear/ not know the workers' names and seemed like appropriate influences their treble-heavy past. However, Turner does an impeccable job on There's absolutely nothing for us instead refers to them as "Dinkus," for the band. some of Arctic Monkeys' signa- this album: He uses his voice to here." Turner's strengths as a lyri- and the hardly-recognizable Ben Af- Humbug indeed puts the brakes ture elements are still present: perfection, sometimes savoring the cist are exemplified by his clear im- fleck (State of Play) comes in as the on the tempo, but rather than slog- Their halting rhythms, casually syllables before letting them roll off agery interspersed with fascinating, drug-peddling best friend who has ging through the mud as some intermingling lead guitars and har- his tongue, other times spitting his atypical elements. someone to call for every situation. feared this album would, it is in- monized choruses all duly make words with such rapid fire disdain Both Simmons and Affleck steal their stead a glorious trip through the their appearances and fit nicely one wonders how foul a taste they a scenes, but the best supporting char- surreal, slowing down to explore into the mix. must have had. acter goes to another Simmons — the spaces between the sounds In particular, "Crying Light- And his lyrics are as sharp as Gene Simmons (The New Guy). and the details. ning," besides having one of the ever, filled with images of fools, And his lyrics are Flapping tongue left at home. Gene The music, overall, is certainly best song titles ever, blends the old freaks, the forlorn and the fantas- sharp as ever, Simmons plays the lawyer Joe Adler, a departure. The drums aren't quite and new sounds masterfully, with tic. One of his finest lines comes who only gets the business of Step (Star filled with images Trek's Clifton Collins Jr.) — the one- of fools, freaks, testicled victim of the freak accident — because of his bus stop advertisements. the forlorn and While only appearing in the movie some 10 minutes, Simmons is able to the fantastic. provide the film's most memorable mo- ments — such as repeatedly reminding 99 Joel that the only situation in which his client will settle is if he could smash Play Better InThe Bateman's own balls in the door — and "Cornerstone" is another lyrical adds inarguable flavor to the movie. standout. Recalling a night spent Overall, the plot of Extract remains stumbling from pub to pub search- true to the spirit of Office Space. While Corporate Sandbox. ing for a lost love, so to speak, the Office Space provided a look into the song ends with a humorous and un- life of desk workers, Extract offers in- expected twist. Turner's lyrics take sight into the life of the management. a darker turn along with the music, However, the workers in Office Space but they are the perfect words to had some brains; the people who work paint onto such a canvas. at Reynold's Extract are downright mo- Humbug, both musically and ronic. Thus, the audience ends up sym lyrically, explores new territory for pathizing with Bateman more than they Arctic Monkeys, and succeeds in did Gary Cole, Office Space's manager. transforming their sound without In general, the humor of Extract sacrificing their dynamism. It is provides the audience with an intelli- a strange trip, but definitely one gent comedy — meaning there probably that is worth taking. Time will tell won't be an unrated version that comes whether Humbug represents a per- out on DVD — and an all-star cast, guar- manent change in direction for the anteed to offer its audience an hour and band or merely a detour. Either way, a half of forgetting if they e-mailed the this is a band to follow. correct cover sheet to their boss.

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Southern Methodist University wiH not discriminate m any employment practice, education program, or educational activity on the basis of race, color Humbug represents a major shift in style for Arctic Monkeys, but is it a religion, national origin, sex, age. disability or veteran status. SMU's commitment to equal opportunity includes nondiscrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. permanent cH»n^e or just a temporary stop? Follow us on Twitter at twitter.com/ThresherSports 15 Football falls to UAB as new crop continues adjustment Twenty-point opening loss highlights holes at quarterback, questions about defense

by Meghan Hall game's opening snap, his first start in THRESHER STAFF nearly three years. * Shepherd quickly moved the team Last time we saw the football team, down the field and had a first down it was delivering an indisputable beat- within the 10-yard line, but three down on Western Michigan University consecutive shots to the endzone fell in the 2008 Texas Bowl, the big shin- short. Senior Clark Fangmeier came ing Texas star atop a seven-game win- onto the field for his first field goal of ning streak to end the season, but the the season. 26-yard attempt But with gradu- was blocked, and ation and the NFL the series set an draft taking their unfortunate tone A 0I *',• JR victims — namely for the team. James Casey to the RICE AT TEXAS "With [nine] Houston Texans, new starters out Jarett Dillard to the TECH there [on de- Jacksonville Jag- fense!, we left a WHEN lot of points out uars, and Chase Saturday, 6 p.m. Clement to consult- there, especially ing — suddenly WHERE early in this foot- there are different Lubbock, Texas ball game," Head

Owls responsible HISTORY Coach David Bai- r* for running, catch- The last time the Owls liff said. "When ing and throwing squared off with the Red you're on the road the football. These Raiders was in 2007, when you need to take new faces had their Texas Tech rocked Rice 59- advantage of those debut last Saturday, 24. Then-Texas Tech quarter- opportunities to back Graham Harrell threw along with many get the points on a record-setting six touch- others, falling 44-24 the board, and we downs in the game. in a conference bat- didn't do that." tle against the Uni- Senior wide re- versity of Alabama ceiver Toren Dixon at Birmingham. agreed, pointing to the failed oppor- The beginning of the contest was tunities at the beginning of the game auspicious: The veteran Rice (0-1) as an aspect where the team can im- Senior defensive back Andrew Sendejo tackles a Blazer during Rice's 44-24 defeat last Saturday. Rice hopes to defense, which was returning eight prove. starters, was on the field first and "We made progress, we moved the bounce back from its opening loss against run-and-gun Texas Tech in tomorrow's contest. forced the Blazers (1-0) and their star ball," Dixon said. "We just have to cor- quarterback Joe Webb to go three- rect those things. You look out at all and-out. those points we left out on the field." total on 20 plays — Webb took UAB The tone was set. The rest of the opening first-half drive, hooked ap With the ball in the Owls' hands As soon as the attempt was down the field on the next series for half featured Webb's strong play, as with redshirt freshman tight end Luke for the first time this season, fifth- blocked, Rice was sent reeling. As part the first score of the game. The Blaz- well as a series of misplays by Rice, Willson for a 52-yard touchdown, the year senior John Thomas Shepherd of his Conference USA-record-setting ers' 80-yard touchdown drive marked that resulted in a 27-3 Blazer advan- first for each in their careers. showed why he beat out sophomore performance for rushing yards in a the first time the Owls had trailed in tage by halftime. In the third quar- But the scoring was too little, too quarterback Nick Fanuzzi to take the game by a quarterback — 194 yards over 16 quarters of play. ter, Fanuzzi, who had fumbled in his O see FOOTBALL, page 18 San Francisco sweep jumpstarts volleyball season

by Paul Fitzgerald in the evening. expects quality play from the team's THRESHER STAFF Rice is looking to avenge its first- upcoming opponents. round loss in last year's NCAA Tour- "We've played both teams in The good times kept rolling for the nament to the Shockers (6-1). Wichita the past, and we expect really com- volleyball team as the Owls thrashed State, which made it to the second petitive rematches," Schamun said. three opponents over the weekend in round of the NCAA Tournament, re- "We're going to have to work hard for the University of San Francisco Chal- cently rolled over the University of wins, but we're ready to rise to the lenge. The victories improved the Oklahoma, the only team to defeat challenge." Owls' record to 7-1, cementing their the Owls this year. The Shockers, who Rice certainly rose last weekend, status as the Conference USA favor- are currently 25th in the American beginning with its contest against ites as the season goes into full tilt. Volleyball Coaches Association poll, San Diego State University, a team With their impressive record in ended Rice's season last year with known for its strong defense. The tow, the Owls now look forward to their 30th-straight win in 2009. Owls, however, were able to over- the second Mizuno Invitational, a "There's no denying the revenge come the Aztecs (3-2) in the tightest tournament they will host at Tudor element to Saturday night's game match they have had this season (25- Fieldhouse this coming weekend. [againsf Wichita State]," Head Coach 19, 25-23, 21-25,19-25,15-13)- Rice opens today against the Univer- Genny Volpe said. "The team was a Rice opened up a 9-2 lead to start sity of South Carolina, which comes little bitter about how it ended last the first set on the strength of its at- in with an unblemished 6-0 record. year, but we've talked about keeping tacking and a series of errors by Rice will then start their Saturday our emotions in check so we can ex- SDSU. The Owls maintained their against Harvard University (2-2) be- ecute our game." lead throughout the first set, never fore facing Wichita State University Junior setter Meredith Schamun O see VOLLEYBALL, page 18 OWLOOK This Week in Sports

. . Friday, Sept. 11 Saturday, Sept. 12 Soccer vs. Oklahoma State Volleyball vs. Harvard 7p.m. — Rice Track and Field Stadium 1 p.m. —Tudor Fieldhouse Volleyball vs. South Carolina Football at Texas Tech 1 7 p.m. — Tudor Fieldhouse 6p.m. — Lubbock, Texas Men's Tennis, Rice Fall Invitational Volleyball vs. Wichita State All Day — Jake Hess Tennis Stadium 7p.m. — Tudor Fieldhouse ARIEL SHNITZER/THRESHER

Senior outside hitter Jenn McClean (right) earned MVP honors at last

T" week's tournament, leading the Owls with 48 kills during the three- match sweep. Now boasting a 7-1 record, Rice has a chance to avenge bloas.ricetbreslier.orq/sport last year's loss in the NCAA Tournament against Wichita State Sunday. 16 SPORTS THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11,2009 WOMEN'S CROSS COUNTRY 2009 Although team's leadership is depleted, women hope strength will lie in record numbers

By Natalie Clericuzio THHRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF

Typically, a coach jumps for joy at a surplus of talent. Jim Bevan, the women's cross country coach, does not share this sentiment. This year, Rice's women's cross f country squad is 22 members strong — the largest in university history — with half the squad new to the team, coming in as either freshmen or first-time runners. With so many runners to choose among, Bevan is still trying to fig- ure things out. The first meet of the season, the Texas A&M Invitational, held in Col- lege Station, Texas, tomorrow, will provide Bevan the opportunity to 86 see the effect of competition on his expansive squad. And competition this meet can offer — somewhere between 15 and 18 teams will be present, including Rice's biggest re- gional competition: the University of Texas, Texas A&M University, Baylor University and Southern Methodist University, to say nothing of the Uni- versity of Arkansas, last year's South Central Re": lal champion. Returning senior Claire Shorall AftlKL SMNtrtUl/THRESHKft says the opening meet will be most = important as an assessment of the Leading the pack at last season's Conference USA championship, Lennie Waite (Brown *08) (No. 92) and Laura Hudson (Baker '09) will be sorely missed squad's inner positioning, not as a competition for a team still sorting by the cross country team this year. Senior Nicole Mericle (No. 86) is currently working her way back from injury, and her status this year is still uncer- itself out. tain. Luckily, a large freshman class brings plenty of talent to help bolster only six upperclassmen returning to Rice's team this year. "Opening meets are always in- teresting," Shorall said. "We all get to see how we respond to competi- Bevan said. plethora of talent on the team. threat to the Owls this season. van expects the biggest challenge tion, and it gives us an opportunity Shorall, who admits to not being "A number of young ladies are The improved strength of SMU for the team to come in two weeks to look at where we are in general. one of the squad's top performers, learning a lot about college athletics is endemic of the level of com- at the Texas A81M Corpus Christi In- ... Every race is important, but if we said she is looking forward to being so far and have a lot of talent that, petition throughout conference vitational. The terrain at the meet had to win one, this is not the one to able to be a leader with time, will co- this season. Bevan has seen that contains rolling hills, and there will kill ourselves over." in practice, though alesce into their nearly every team has returned still be the Texas heat for the team When the team lines up in Col- not necessarily being top perform- with deeper rosters this year, to run in. lege Station this weekend, how- competition. ers," Bevan said. creating that much tougher of a Other competitive meets will be ever, the swelling of the ranks will "I feel old, and "At this point, they challenge for Rice to reclaim its the Notre Dame Invitational and the not easily assuage the loss of Len- in some ways al- y just need to get place at the top of the conference. Pre-National meet, due to the high nie Waite (Brown '08) and Laura ways felt old," TEXAS A&M their feet wet in Besides SMU, the University of quality of schools expected to at- Hudson (Baker '09). Both Waite Shorall said. "It's competition." Tulsa, East Carolina University, the tend. Both of those meets fall in Oc- and Hudson ran at nationals last nice because I'm INVITATIONAL In addition University of Alabama at Birming- tober, making that a key month for fall for the Owls, helping the team never going to be to Williams and ham, the University of Texas at El Rice's positioning for post-season WHEN place 22nd overall in the country. the leader on the Shorall, there are Paso and the University of Houston competition. Saturday, 8:30 a.m. Bevan said the team will miss both course. That's the a few other re- return with stronger squads. Although Bevan can say what of them, but is confident about reality of my situ- WHERE turners whom the "Conference will be the tough- meets will be challenging for the them adapting to the team's new, ation. I'm really College Station, Texas new runners can est it's ^ver been," Bevan said. "We Owls, he is unsure about where to younger look. comfortable lead- HISTORY lean on for advice. have our work cut out for ourselves place his team's chances this sea- "The main impact will be the loss ing in practice When Rice ran the Texas Sophomores Mi- to reclaim our title." son. According to him, however, the of their leadership," Bevan said. and away from A&M meet to start the '08 chaela Reynolds, On the way back to the confer- team has the potential to win con- "When you have a younger team, competition. I'd season, it was two weeks Keltie John, Marie ence championship, Rice will at- ference, win regionals and compete though, people grow into roles." rather see some later than expected be- Thompson and tend some challenging meets. Be- well at the national meet yet again. Two seniors stand ready to fill of the younger cause of hurricane delays. Halsey Fowler all those leadership holes: Shorall and kids develop be- The Owls placed third, be- have a full year of Britany Williams. Both are entering cause I can't lead hind regional foe Baylor and competition ex- C-USA foe SMU. their final year of eligibility, and on a from the front all perience that will team brimming with first-timers, Be- the time." allow them to be van believes both can provide men- There are leaders in their S toring to the younger team. plenty of young own right on the ~ :—TFG "Britany and Claire are both runners to whom Shorall will have team. The junior class of Allison great leaders, and Claire especially the opportunity to lend a helping Pye and Becky Wade, along with has been instrumental in helping hand. After only a couple weeks senior Nicole Mericle, round out the the freshmen make the transition to of practice, Bevan says that he has returning team members. college go as smoothly as possible," been pleasantly surprised by the Pye and Mericle, however, will have to sit out the first meet because of injury. Bevan expects Pye to return A CLOSER LOOK: next week, but Mericle is a different situation. After a freak injury to her Hometowns of Rice's new runners metatarsal on the steeplechase dur- ing NCAA Regionals last spring, Meri- •Runne r Hometown cle began training again only recently Halsey Fowler Houston, Texas after a two-and-a-half month hiatus from running. Bevan said the plan Eleana Little Holmdel, N.). with her is to wait and see how train- Farrah Madanay Honolulu, Hawaii ing goes before making a decision on her competition status at the end of Georglna Norton North Reading, Mass. September. Johanna Ohm West Coxsackie, N.Y. One factor that may affect the decision about Mericle will be the Heather Olson Grayslake, III. strength of Conference USA this sea- Andrea Parazo San Antonio, Texas son. Last year, after a two-year win- Molly Schultz St. Louis, Mo. ning streak, Rice fell to a strong SMU team at the C-USA meet. The Mus- Marie Walsh Aberdeen, N.). tangs return their two-time C-USA Erin Watson Edmond, Okla. champion runner, Silje Fjortoft, in addition to three new Scandinavian Oklahoma City, Okla. Kathryn Zebrowski recruits, one of whom grew up run- ning with Fjortoft. With that strong of a roster, the Mustangs will likely be a FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11,2009 THE RICE THRESHER SPORTS 17 Emotional weekend for soccer brings first win by Yan Digilov 21 shots and only dished out eight of THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF their own. But at the end of the day, ef- ficiency and heart won the game. It's amazing how quickly emotions "It was awesome," Erkel said. "It can turn. One second, you're riding high showed what we are made of. We want from a spectacular, come-from-behind to win so bad." victory against Stephen F. Austin Uni- The momentum from the squad's versity. Not two days later, you find your first win carried over for the home M&X mouth agape, staring in bewilderment game against TCU on Sunday. The as Texas Christian University pulls the Horned Frogs defeated Rice 2-1 in same mini-miracle on you. overtime last year and came in ranked Such was the case of the soccer team fourth in the region. last week. An early goal from Taylor in the A 3-2 victory over the Ladyjacks third minute gave Rice the cushion it (2-4-0) on Friday was nullified by the had been looking for against its for- 2-1 defeat at the hands of the Horned midable foe. The home team was out- Frogs (4-1-0). The emotions were scored 11-3 in the first half but main- stark — one night's jubilance, the tained the lead. other night's disbelief. At the start of the second half, Looking for their first win of the the team's group defense was again season, Rice (1-3-1) traveled to Na- strained. TCU staged a fierce attack, cogdoches, Texas, expecting noth- winning the majority of 50/50 balls and ing less than a victory. But those forcing Erkel to make save after save. expectations were dampened by an In fact, the keeper finished with a •r: ' -- / - . • : opposing goal just 47 seconds into school-record 16 saves on the day. On MM the game, and then again at the average, Erkel makes an astounding 32-minute mark. nine saves a game, a statistic that both "Honestly, as a goalkeeper, that is gives credit to the stalwart in the net the worst goal ever to be scored on in and questions the defense's ability to the first five minutes," junior goalie protect her. Meghan Erkel said. "We knew that it But the Owls seemed to be mentally wasn't that they are better than us. It prepared for a fight. Numerous runs was that we were stuck on our heels." down the sideline from Taylor, Scott Junior defender Jordon Holloway plays a ball off the backline against TCU on Sunday. The Owls were topped by The Owls were also stuck on the La- and sophomore Hope Ward put the the Horned Frogs 2-1 despite notching an early goal in the third minute off a Korey Taylor run. dyjacks' five-man midfield that created Owls back in the drivers' seat. confusion across the field. But after the That is, until the statistical probabil- dust settled, the sizable deficit slowly ity of the shot discrepancy caught up The corner kick was converted in shown about how many shots we have tough enough to weather any storm. began to wear down. with them. the 83rd minute, and the Owls went given up is just ridiculous. I think we To the final minute against TCU, the The first goal came off a corner kick "We just couldn't hold them off," from elation to bewilderment. narrowed it down to a team shape Owls were pressuring the goal and from sophomore Annie Kadota, who Huston said. "It was just unfortu- "It was annoying, but what are you instead of playing just defenders, for- playing for the win. They are hoping found senior defender Alexa Coralli nate. We talked about that. We have going to do?" Erkel said. "It was just wards and midfield. We all need to that playing on their heels was left in the 39th minute. With the momen- to be ourselves and play the whole heartbreaking, to be honest. That game come together and play together." behind in Nacogdoches. tum on their side and the confusion 90 minutes." was really upsetting, because we had it. The squad has little time to dwell Now, they know what they have to at midfield behind them, senior strik- As TCU begin to look worn out, the But it is not the ref's fault. We had some on the past, with i9th-ranked Oklaho- do to play with the Cowboys. Similar er Erin Scott made an impressive run Owls staged a fierce attack in the 79th bugs to work out with our team shape." ma State University coming in tonight to last year's epic game at then-No. 8 between several Ladyjack defenders minute with a loose ball in the middle Those bugs have been the focus of at 7 p.m. Fortunately, the weekend Texas A&M University, in which they and dished a ball out to junior Korey of the box that Ward nearly got to for Huston's practices this week. Working showed some signs of progress that will played them to a draw for 88 minutes, Taylor in the 70th minute, forcing the the assurance goal. But the great scor- on team defense, she hopes, will lower have to be capitalized on if they hope to today's game has huge consequences game into overtime. ing chance quickly turned into a devas- the discouraging amount of shots they contest a heralded Oklahoma State (4- for rankings and a potential NCAA The final piece of the comeback ar- tating counterattack when the ball got are allowing per game. TCU took 25, 2-0) squad. With two games under her Tournament berth. rived in dramatic fashion with fresh- past the backline and found its way in which is four higher than what they belt playing predominantly upfront, Oklahoma State particularly ex- man midfielder Julia Barrow scoring the net thanks to a great run by TCU's have been averaging. Taylor has notched two goals. Her help posed Rice's poor shape last year in the her first-ever goal in the 100th minute. Lizzy Karoly. But the issue moves past the cohe- has given the offense the jolt it needed 4-0 defeat, but Huston is hoping that "Finally, a light bulb went off The goal sapped some energy out sion of a backline that seems to be play- after a week of scorelessness. a year's growth and the home turf will against SFA," Head Coach Chris Huston of Rice, but the squad showed no ing well with one another. Instead, all Barrow's first goal was also a keep them mentally aware and physi- said. "They did a great job coming back signs of defeat. Instead, the dagger sides of the field are going to have to welcome, if not ultimately expected, cally prepared. from 2-0 down. It is not easy doing that came with an apparent miscall from make a concerted effort to win the ball sign. The freshman has proved her- "I think this is exactly the kind of against anyone, but they did it." the referee, who called a ball — seem- one-on-one and keep the ball out of self worthy of the starting role in the game that they get pumped for," she The counterattack displayed an ingly kicked clean out of bounds — the air, headed towards Erkel's eagerly- midfield, and the added boost to her said. "It is a team coming in ranked in impressive drive from the team and off of Erkel's hands. awaiting gloves. confidence should ultimately lead to the top 20 in the nation. They know came as an especially impressive feat "It was so frustrating," Erkel said. "We knew something was wrong," more production. what they are up against. I think since the Owls, once again, were out- "It happens. He thought I tipped it and the goalie said. "We just didn't really But most importantly, the squad these girls are going to come out shot by a wide margin. They gave up it hit the top crossbar." know what it was. Having the stats showed that they were mentally ready to play." Men win Johnny Morriss Invite by Jonathan Myers unattached runners, thus not count- especially meaningful for the team THRESHER STAFF ing for scoring purposes. as it enters the season with several Senior Simon Bucknell did not run uncertainties concerning the iden- The men's cross country team knew Friday, continuing a trend Warren has tities of the top contributors on the it was going to have to rely on its new- followed for the past few years in or- team. Warren said he felt the posi- comers for success this season. It just der to avoid potential injury to Buck- tive implications from an early vic- didn't expect their ascension to come nell early in the season. Bucknell did tory would benefit the team in the about so quickly. not race at last year's Johnny Morriss long run. The youths on the squad served "As I mentioned last time, this team up an important victory at the Johnny is starting out as one big question Morriss Invitational last Friday, as mark," Warren said. "This meet helped sophomore Michael Trejo and redshirt answer a few of those questions. That 77 freshman Gabe Cuadra teamed with being said, the team did exceed my ex- senior Scott Zivick to lead Rice to a first- pectations." m la place finish on the University of Hous- RICE The Owls were also aided by the fact ton intramural fields. Rice's 31 points INVITATIONAL that three of Houston's top four runners defeated Houston's 43, Sam Houston had succumbed to swine flu and also State University's 58 and Houston Bap- had to rely on some of their younger WHEN tist University's 81. Saturday, Sept. 19 runners to carry the team, with sopho- The young legs paced the Owls, and mores Derrick Joe and Stephan Keller Head Coach Jon Warren (Jones '88) said WHERE attempting to add their efforts to the he was especially pleased with Trejo's Rice Track/Soccer Stadium scoring for the Cougars. Given these cir-

solidification as leader of the team. HISTORY cumstances, and the fact that the race "Trejo ran this race with confidence, The Rice Invitational was can- was early in the season, Warren was which was exactly what we needed him celled due to Hurricane Ike cautious not to overestimate this race's to do," Warren said. "His performance last year. 2007 was the last importance in terms of garnering at- shows that he is adjusting into his role time the Owls competed in large points for NCAA National Cham- very well." the event, finishing second. pionship consideration. Trejo was the first Owl across "This win is similar to a non-confer- the finish line, taking third place, ence win for basketball," Warren said. while Cuadra and Zivick took sixth "It is a big deal to win, but we know that and eighth, respectively. Rounding Invitational, and did not make his first for the season to be successful we have out the scorers for Rice were red- appearance of the season until the to compete well at the end." shirt freshmen Matt Carey and James Penn State National last October. The Owls will take this weekend off ARIEL SHKiTZtt/THXCSME* Llamas, finishing in 12th and 14th, "Even though Simon has been here and will run next in a meet when they "5 respectively. Sophomore Greg King a few years, 1 still like to wean him into host the 34th Annual Rice Invitational, the heat," Warren said. "He most likely Sophomore Michael Trejo finished third overall at the Johnny Morriss rounded out the runners for Rice, al- which will be held on campus Sept. though freshman Sammy Abuhamra will race at the Rice Invitational." 19. Last year's rendition was cancelled Invitational, earning praise from Head Coach Jon Warren. and junior John Buck °arh ran as The outcome of the race is O see MEN'S XC, page \8 j ' air t ..... 3

B 18 SPORTS THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11,2009

when the Owls travel to Lubbock and take on the tough Red Raiders (1-0) i O FOOTBALL 1 FROM PAGE 15 and their explosive offense. "When you play defense you need 'Vyj-' late. Though the Owls outscored to play it like your hair is on fire, not the Blazers 21-17 in the second half, like you're taking a chemistry test," it was not nearly enough to make Bailiff said. "We didn't have a lot of up for a first half full of uncertainty passion out there, and to play great and mistakes. defense you have to be passionate; Nonetheless, there were some you have to be willing to take risks; positives to be taken from the game, you have to be willing to strain ev- beginning with the relatively strong ery play you're out there and I don't play of the special teams, particu- think we did that. ... We can be a lot larly that of redshirt freshman run- better on that side of the football, and ning back Shane Turner, who set a should be a lot better." Rice record with 200 yards on kickoff Rice will be facing a stiff challenge returns. Additionally, the receiving tomorrow evening. Besides the hos- corps performed modestly well, as tile atmosphere at Jones AT&T Sta- Dixon picked up a career-high nine dium, the team will have to deal with catches for 65 yards, though the num- the sheer size of Texas Tech and their bers next to his name were the far- traditionally prolific offense. thest thing from his mind. "It's always a challenge going "At the end of the day it's all about on the road with a Big 12 opponent, A winning," Dixon said. "It doesn't but we have to take it one play at a matter if I caught nine balls or three time," Dixon said. "It's probably not going to be easy, but we'll go in there balls. We didn't win and that's all that LAUREN SCHOEFFLER/THRESHER shows. ... I still felt like there were a optimistic and give it our all." tremendous amount of plays we could The coaching staff will be look- have made to change the game." ing for a vast step up in the quality Special delivery at Sophomore third baseman Anthony Rendon, sophomore outfielder Jer- In terms of the quarterback situa- of the defense, a continued improve- emy Rathjen and junior shortstop Rick Hague stopped by a local hospi- tion, the fog appears to have cleared ment by the offense and a higher the hospital tal to visit Wesley Blomquist, a baseball fan who received an operation a little bit. Shepherd got the start and quality of effort from a young team last week. The players gave Blomquist a ball signed by the team. finished 10-22 with 81 yards and one facing an extremely difficult opening interception; he also picked up 48 to the season. After Texas Tech, Rice yards on the ground. Fanuzzi, who will stay on the road to face another else," Warren said. sity. The University of Texas at El Paso has been named the starter against Big 12 powerhouse in Oklahoma Checking up on the results from placed first at the Lobo Invitational in Texas Tech University tomorrow, State University (1-0) before com- OMEN'S XC Rice's conference rivals, the University Albuquerque, N.M., with senior Ail- completed 12 of 20 passes for 154 ing home for back-to-back games FROM PAGE 17 of Tulsa finished second at the Hurri- American Nicodemus Ng'etich taking yards and one touchdown. against Vanderbilt University (1-0) cane Cross Country Festival in Tulsa, second place overall. The Miners are "Nick threw the ball well," Bailiff and the University of Tulsa (1-0) — due to the imminent landfall of Hurri- Okla. The Golden Hurricane competed expecting to add two runners to the ros- said. "We still need to get him bet- two of the three teams the Owls lost cane Ike that weekend. in six dual meets, defeating the Uni- ter this week in an effort to boost their ter in the running game. Same with to last year. Rice will face some of the same teams it competed against a week ago, versity of Oklahoma, the University of roster to nine runners. Like the Owls, [Shepherd]. He ran the ball well, "Tough times don't last, but tough with Houston and Sam Houston State Texas, Oklahoma Wesleyan University, the Miners are attempting to get contri- didn't throw it as well as Nick did. ... people do," Bailiff said. "We'll continue most likely running at the Rice Invita- Oklahoma Baptist University, while butions from the younger members of We have a lot of confidence in both to work hard and get a football team out tional. "We will lower the mileage a bit dropping races against Oklahoma State their team, as four out of the seven cur- those young men." there that we can be proud of." the week of that race and not too much University and Oral Roberts Univer- rent members are freshmen. Another position in question was running back, where several differ- ent players were clamoring for play- set in order to defeat the Aztecs af- a McCord kill, her sixth of the set. seventh of the set, gave the Owls a ing time. As a starter returning from a O VOLLEYBALL ter squandering their two previous Junior libero Tracey Lam's de- two-to-one set advantage. serious knee surgery, redshirt sopho- FROM PAGE 15 chances. Rice surged early before fense was crucial during the third In the fourth set, Rice and USF more Tyler Smith played well enough SDSU climbed ahead 7-5. However, set and throughout the match, and traded points until the Owls took a 9-5 — rushing for 37 yards — to earn the letting their advantage slip below two service aces by Schamun spurred her 14 digs led the Owls. Bogan's lead on a Boulavsky block. Rice main- praise of his coaches. four, and eventually winning 25-19. a 4-0 run that put Rice ahead for good. eight blocks also aided the Owls' tained a small advantage throughout "Smith had three knockdowns Schamun led che Owls with 11 assists, SDSU climbed to within one point at defense, and Volpe thought the before a block by junior middle block- on his pass protection," Bailiff said. while senior Natalie Bogan's 14 kills 14-13, but a kill by McClean ended the strong blocking made Rice's defen- er Caroline Gill gave the Owls a 21-14 "He did some really nice things were a big boost for the team. set and the match. sive play complete. lead. A few points later, a McClean where he showed he could be an Neither team ran away with the McClean had four kills during the "Our floor defense has always kill, her 21st, ended the match. every-down back." second set. After the Aztecs took an decisive set, and her 19 kills for the been strong, but our blocking really Once again, Lam's defense set With all the focus on the offense, early lead, the Owls battled back match led the Owls. The senior would came together this weekend," Volpe the tone for the Owls. Last season's perhaps too much confidence was to take an 11-5 lead after a block by go on to be named the MVP of the said. "Our high blocking numbers C-USA Libero of the Year recorded 25 placed in the hands of the expe- sophomore outside hitter Ashleigh tournament, an award Volpe thought and strong digging put us in a good digs against USF. It was McClean's 21 rienced defense. They were faced McCord. The Owls did not trail again was well deserved. position to win." kills, however, that stole the show, with the tough task of containing in the set until SDSU took a 23-22 "Jenn McClean was a huge part The Owls closed out their play in as she led an attacking offense that Webb, but their performance was lead. However, an attack error by of our success this weekend," Volpe California with a four-set victory over had USF on its heels for much of the littered with missed tackles and the Aztecs and back-to-back kills by said. "She played a great all-around the host squad, the University of San match. McClean registered 45 kills for poor coverage. senior outside hitter Jenn McClean game all weekend." Francisco (20-25, 25-14, 25-22, 25-16). the weekend, a key reason she was "I really thought we would play gave the Owls a 2-0 set advantage. Rice continued play on Saturday USF (2-5) jumped out to a 4-0 lead named MVP. Schamun, the preseason better Saturday on the defensive side McClean had six kills during the against California State University- to start the first set and never looked C-USA co-Player of the Year, also had of the football," Bailiff said. "We set, and Schamun was comfortable Northridge, another strong defensive back, taking the first set. a big weekend, notching an impres- didn't play, we didn't tackle. ... We setting assists to McClean during the squad. The Owls started fast and The second set reversed the first's sive 137 assists over the course of the knew we had to be great tacklers and whole weekend. eventually defeated the Matadors trend as Rice began with a 7-0 run. three matches. that we had to finish plays. I don't "As a setter, I knew Jenn was one (2-4) in three sets (25-12, 25-18, 25-18). Bogan and McClean combined for 31 While Schamun put up strong think we did that at any point. ... We of our go-to hitters," Schamun said. Rice's early lead cemented a first- kills to lead a strong Rice offense that individual numbers, she cited her had one of our better days with few "I knew she would get the job done if set victory, and the Owls never trailed evened the match at one set apiece. team's chemistry as a key element to missed assignments and alignments; she needed to." during the second set, slowly build- The Dons jumped out to a 6-1 lead their recent success. we had one of our worst days finish- The Aztecs toppled Rice 25-21 to ing up a lead and eventually winning to start the third set. but the Owls "I'm proud of how we took care ing at the point of attack." stay alive in the third set, and man- 25-18. Cal State-Northridge fought fought back to tie the set at seven. Af- of business as a team this weekend," Bailiff also spoke of the lack of aged to take the fourth set 25-19 to tie back to within four points after Rice ter some back-and-forth action, Rice Schamun said. "Everyone hit well passion visible in the defense — the match at two sets apiece. took a 6-1 advantage, but got no closer took the lead for good at 16-15 on a and we were very cohesive in putting something that will be sorely needed The Owls needed to win the fifth as the Owls closed out the match with kill by Schamun. McClean's kill, her together a solid performance."

SPORTS STAFF SOUNDBOARD Do you think Brett Favre will make it through the full 16-game NFL season?

\ i

"Yes, but he'll be traded to the Green "Brett Favre is old enough to be my "Brett Favre's shoulder could pose "Brett Favre stays healthy. Clear Bay Packers after he complains that Dad, so I'll have to say no." a problem, and he says his starting eyes, full hearts, can't lose" Adrian Peterson is getting the ball game streak won't influence him. Brody Rollins too much." Paul Fitzgerald But he didn't have to go through the Sports Staff Writer Sports Staff Writer rigors of training camp, and he's Jonathan Myers a motivated guy (not to mention a I Assistant Sports Editor drama queen). He's got a chance to -I start 16 games." Meghan Hall Sports Staff Writer

4- FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11,2009 THE RICE THRESHER CALENDAR 19

No. 2 and Pyotr Il'yich Tchaik- ovsky's Symphony No. 5. Pianist WEDNESDAY THURSDAY Ingrid Fliter and conductor Hans Graf will join Rice students for an after-concert reception. Speaking the Calendar Interview with the Vamployer Honestly, the horn solo in 200 from past experience, the recep- Tchaikovsky's Fifth Symphony tion has some booze for those of SEPT. 11-17, 9 In a follow-up to Tuesday's "Write pwns the entire piano part in age and, for everyone else, a selec- This, Not That," the Center for Stu- follow us 24/7 at twitter.com/threshercal tion of really terrific desserts. dent Professional Development Chopin's Piano Concerto No. 2 presents "Say This, Not That." But don't let my obscure musical This time they'll be helping you grumblings dissuade you! Rice On this day in 1862 get ready for the professional in- Night at the Houston Symphony is The Battle of Antietam was fought FRIDAY SUNDAY terview process with tips on what a wonderful occasion, and you'd in and around the town of Sharps- to say and how to say it. Again, for be a fool to miss out on this free burg, Md. It was the single bloodi- details and to RSVP, hit the events chance to hear some of the world's est day in American history; about Never forget Sleepover in the servery! tab under RICElink. greatest music with one of the 23,000 soldiers were killed or The Rice Chorale and its direc- At least, we had a sleepover in best orchestras in Texas. Stop by wounded, or 4,000 greater than tor, Thomas Jaber, present their the servery on this day last year. Mraz. Mrrraaazz. MRRAAAAZZ! the RMC Info Desk to pick up tick- the largest estimate of all Allied annual September 11 Memorial On Sept. 13, 2008, Hurricane Ike ets to see the orchestra's program and German casualties on D-Day. I like saying "Mraz." Some people concert at 8 p.m., featuring the made landfall on the Texas coast of William Schuman's Showcase, In other words, it was a terrible, like listening to Jason Mraz. If you world-premiere performance of near Galveston. Cue memories of Frederic Chopin's Piano Concerto horrible, no good, very bad day. are one of them, go to the Wood- the Requiem by Houston compos- downed trees, windows flexing in lands Pavilion at 7:30 p.m. armed er Peter Johns. Admission is free. the storm, a wall at Brown College collapsing and my apartment's re- with $20-48 and a good set of ears. HOW TO SUBMIT CALENDAR ITEMS frigerator smelling like, well, actu- The $20 will get you lawn seating, Eat Fresh? ally you don't want to know what but if you want to be closer to the The deadline for submission is 3 p.m. the Monday prior to publication. it smelled like. Nothing survived. stage, bring the extra dough. It's the Fresh Fest at Discov- Submissions are printed on a space-available basis. ery Green! This celebration of The place stunk for quite a while. But it was kind of cool walking to Houston's alternative arts scene Cheaper than Jason Mraz, but Submission methods school along the light rail tracks. features dance shows, music, a not as fun to say fac 713.348.5238 performance from the Main Street Email: [email protected] Theater, poetry readings, a pet- Open, Rice's literary sex maga- zine, kicks off its monthly free Campus MaiL- Calendar EdBtor ting zoo and food. It's all free Thresher, MS-524 from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. at the Dis- MONDAY movie series with a screening covery Green, Houston's coolest of Shortbus at the RMC's Kelley Note from the Editor: little park, near the Main Street Lounge. The show begins at 7:30 What's the worst idea for a waffle you can think of? If if s worse than Square light rail stop. p.m. Jim Emerson of the Chicago You know what would be Sun-Times calls it "magical" and a spam-eggs-bacon-and-spam waffle, e-mail it to the address listed good? Bacon waffles "healing," but IMDb's parental above. The winner of the Thresher Calendar Really Terrible Waffle Ask to see their sun-powered advisory says that "every single Recipe Contest will have their name and disgusting waffle idea pub- It's Waffle Night at Willy's Pub! tanning bed scene in this movie is about sex," lished in next week's Calendar! The Pub will be serving up blue- so only go if you're mature enough The Solar House, a home pow- berry, apple cinnamon and choc- to handle such things. Here are some ideas to get you started: steak and bleu cheese waf- ered entirely by solar energy olate chip waffles, and in case fles, vegemite waffles, waffles with hoisin sauce and green onions, which has long been under con- that's not scrumptious enough, spinach feta waffles and waffles that are secretly made of tofu. struction in front of Wiess and chocolate syrup will be available. Obligatory non-geeky filler Hanszen Colleges, is finally com- Start waffling at xo p.m.! Mint waffles? Hummus waffles? Discussion question: How do you feel about the finale of Tchaik- plete. Stop by to see the finished Whatever your preference, you ovsky's Fifth Symphony? It represents a truly remarkable transition product anytime between 5 p.m. You know what would also be should follow the Thresher Cal- "from darkness to light," and ifs quite emphatic. But I am not sure and 9 p.m. and you will be able good? Pumpkin pie waffles endar on Twitter! Click your way that I believe it. Is it a genuinely happy ending, or is it ironic in some to take a tour and enjoy "light over to twitter.com/threshercal way? Does it represent triumph or is it a tragedy in disguise? refreshments." Be sure to ask if And spaghetti waffles. Okay, you and enjoy the rich creamy good- 1 your Ritz cracker was made in a have probably figured out that 1 ness of Calendarial morsels on- Are you convinced by the ending? Do you think Tchaikovsky was? solar-powered factory. am joking. But would you not at line. Only 140 calories! least try Thai chili curry waffles?

SATURDAY 12B ...„. • ATTENTION STUDENTS! M TUESDAY 15 •

Day at the museum "Skills: Strong Work Today is Museum District Day, Ethic, Attention to Detail, which means that 17 of Houston's finest museums are offering free Team Player, Self Motivated, general admission. From 10 a.m. Attention to Detail" to 5 p.m., enjoy free entry to the That's a quote from an actual LAIFITNESS Houston Museum of Natural Sci- resume. Don't let it be yours! ence, Houston Center for Photog- The Center for Student Profes- raphy, Holocaust Museum, Rothko sional Development is hosting Chapel, Menil Collection and Mu- a seminar on writing effective seum of Fine Arts. You should also resumes, cover letters and oth- JOIN FOR ONLY explore the lesser-known sites, er professional documents to- like the Buffalo Soldiers National day in the Huff House (formerly Museum and the Czech Cultural the O'Connor House). It's called Center. Find more info by visiting "Write This, Not That" and will houstonmuseumdistrict.org. help you write for your audi- ence and show yourself off. For I am not making this up details and to RSVP, click the events tab on RICElink. Not only does Rice have a club called Rice Cyber Sports, and not INITIATION FEE!* only does it actually compete More fun resume blunders, against other universities, but courtesy jobmob.co.il PLUS $29.99 MONTHLY DUES Excludes tax if any today it is having a showdown Again, don't put these on your with Emory University. The sport resume! Actual quotations: of choice? StarCraft. I'm not sure "Hobbies: enjoy cooking Chi- NO LONG-TERM CONTRACT REQUIRED! where the Rice players will actu- nese and Italians," "I'm work- ally be manning their keyboards, ing today in a furniture factory T" " but there will apparently be a live as a drawer," "[interested in video feed online. Check the Face- job) to keep my parole officer book event for more details. from putting me back in jail," "I am great with the pubic" and It's like Eurotrip, except it's in "Reason for leaving last job: Lovett, and Matt Damon won't maturity leave." Also, one em- be there ployer told Fortune magazine column Ask Annie that " I once Lovett College's legendary public received a resume with a head party Eurotrashed happens tonight and shoulders picture in the at 10 p.m. Party like a European! To top left of the first page. The learn how to celebrate Euro-style, picture was of a lion's head, Call 1-800-LA FITNESS for a club near you! go to page 13 and read (he review wearing a coat, shirt, and tie." of World's Greatest Dud. Or maybe that's a bad idea. Membership valid in club of enrollment only. This Is Not Spinal Tap "Limited time offer. Must present valid Student I.O. to redeem offer. Offer based on the purchase of a new Easy Start A million little candles But D Tour is a movie about a monthly dues membership with a one-time initiation fee of $49 and $29.99 monthly dues per person. Must pay first and last months' dues plus the initiation fee to Join. Monthly dues must be paid by one account and deducted by automatic rock musician, and it is being transfer from checking, savings, Visa, MasterCard, American Express or Discover account. Redeemable by non-members Today is author James Frey's birth- screened for free tonight at the day. Of course, knowing James only. Extra charge for some amenities. Photos depict a typical facility; some locations may vary. Monthly dues membership may Rice Cinema (across the street be canceled with written notice in accordance with the terms of the membership agreement. Offer is not available in combination Frey, he is probably lying. For from the police station). The with other discounted rates. Advertised rate does not include access to any LA Fitness Premier New York or Signature Clubs. Offcr more information on lames Frey, documentary begins at 7 p.ni is not available at Signature Clubs. Call club for details. Advertised rate may be subject to change. LA Fitness* Sports Clubs are check your favorite bookstore's and is presented in conjunction registered in the state of Texas as a health studio, number 080543. ©2009 LA Fitness International, LLC. All rights reserved. fiction section. with Houston PBS. V> • •" ' 4 »?• V- v #

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11,2009 20 BACKPAGE THE RICE THRESHER '111 rice in review Oh, college. It's a great time to express your individuality without mom, dad, pap pap, and nee naw breathing down your neck-individuality that you probably bought on sale at Target during your first week of freshman year like every- week of one else. And now it's Poster Sale week. We're sure that you've already adorned your walls with scantily-clad pictures of Megan Fox, 50 Cent, Emma Watson and Thresher A&E editor Joe Dwyer. Maybe you've got a poster about beer pong sept. 6 or mixed drinks up there, too. Hell, if you're really artsy, maybe you've got a print of Starry Night or something Dali did before he totally lost it. Like, sooo original. student association Face it: You're tired of waking up to Tyler Durden staring down at you, morning after morning. We can relate. The Back- page, in its infinite wisdom and generosity, has decided to do you a solid and create some Rice-oriented posters featur- SA President Patrick McAnAnEy i 1 ing your favorite (or at least the most well-known) professors and administrators. Now you can wake up with professor i " 'i donned a cheap and international playboy Douglas Brinkley smiling down on you instead. What a way to start your day! V Superman cos- 0- ^ V tume, vowing Keep an eye on the Backpage's Twitter feed (@thresherbkpg) this week. We'll be releasing vectorized PDFs of our post- ers so you can print them to the "plotter" (read: giant f'king printer) at Mudd and, like, for real hang this stuff up on ?r s •fr ' ^~ your walls. Enjoy! M individuals mk. who have been Xf -^rry, •• • • :-ofi%r •[ f / :•'?/'/ (' / • ners on the outer loop with BB r ' /' /' , r \ •?}(.> W \ r guns. He then picked up each ! •

3$s|ggj|& misclass "Not only did I take care of her, but I didn't take advantage of her after she'd been roofied." Some anonymous do-gooder "I'm the shanty town whore!" $2 a day just got a little easier

MAKE UP SOME MISCLASS. SEND IT IN. backpage@rice. edu OR TEXT TO 850.319.9823 OR DM TO @ THRESHERBKPG

The Backpage is satire and is written by Cristina Tortarolo and Kyle Barnhart. BRINKLEY Special thanks to the Thresher photogs for snapping shots of the faculty! CLASSIFIEDS @rice.edu RICE ALUM LOOKING for student to pick play library of Playstation, xBox and to have safe, reliable car. Requesting Hours (10-15 / week) Job Title: Client HELP WANTED up girls, ages 88tii, from school and Wii games. Must pass criminal back- 2-5 days per week, but flexible. Please Data Jockey Description of Duties: • supervise them until approximately ground check, have valid Texas driv- call 832.816.9019. Setup and manage client data in an on- NEED STUDENT TO drive my high school 5:30 on Thursday. Close to Rice. Car er's license and transportation, and line system. • The tasks are important, daughter from Episcopal high to home and references required. Call Eric 713- be bondable. $8/hr plus tips. 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EDUCATIONAL CLINIC IN Bellaire is look- AM and 1 PM Monday through Friday 19 OTHER 713-528-7085. ing for interested college students to to schedule interview. Greenway Pla- TUTOR AND EARN from $22-35/hr with za, upper Kirby district. tutor high school students in math General Academic, a company incor- BICYCLES....BICYCLES... BICYCLES EVENINGS/WEEKENDS JOB AVAILABLE and or/ science. Great part time job for porated by Rice students. GeneralAca- DANIEL BOONE Cycles . com at Rice! Join other Rice Students in one or two afternoons a week.Email LOOKING FOR A student to pick up demic.com/careers or jobs@generala- Walk from campus, RIDE back calling alumni to tell them about the interest to [email protected] or children from school, help with cademic.com. 5318 Crawford 713.526.6434 Annual Fund. $9/hr plus bonuses, in- call 713-666-9343 and leave a message homework when necessary, and drive Fixies, Beer-Bikes 8t more. centives. 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Pay rate start at $18- responsibility for the factual content of any Cash, check, or credit card payment must Non-subscription rate: ad. Printing an advertisement does not con- accompany your classified advertise- First copy free $3o/hour. Call 281-276-7743 or email VIDEO GAMES COACHES Need experi- stitute an endorsement by the Thresher. ment, which must be received by 5 p.m. Second copy $5 [email protected]. enced "gamers" to work part-time in on the Monday prior to publication Games2U mobile video game theater. Display advertisements must be received by 5 p.m. on the Monday prior to publication. The Rice Thresher The Rice Thresher LOOKING FOR RESPONSIBLE female to Work parties, videogame launches, Attn: Classifieds Attn: Subscriptions watch two kids (6 & 8 yrs old) 2-3 af tournaments, grand openings, sport Cathleen Chang, Molly Slattery 6100 Main St. MS-524 PO Box 1892. 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