2 Sample UP Magazine CAMPING: Where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person Web Sample Welcome Our Mission As we understand it, is use the to our print on paper media, to produce a low budget spectacular issue, that special hides from bad news. We attempt to inform you, the reader, while website hopefully making you feel tickled pink you read this publication before you sample pass it on to someone. issue Editorial Stuff For Capt. Mike Van Den Branden many reasons the list of dues paying memberships include: the Michigan Press Association, VFW e must assume if you are looking at this (Life Member), United andW reading what I am writing here, that you States Submarine Veterans (Life Member), most likely are new to our publication and other American Legion, and things we do. With that in mind, we wanted Escanaba Yacht Club. to build a special issue that showed all of the We do accept stuff from different writers we have and the range of people who think they are writers and even content that we cover. So this issue is made up use some of it. No hand of stories and columns from the last few issues written stuff please - email we printed. items to: The photos you see to the right here are of [email protected]. those that we featured in our last Porcupine This show featured Red Wings legend and 4 time Advertising We have Press / UP Magazine “Saluting Our Military” Stanley Cup champion Darren McCarty. Darren took always been out there for BASH event, held in Lake Linden, Michigan. the little guys. Because off the gloves and shared a night of stories, jokes, of that, Big outfits think We do a few of these events each year, for the new memories, and an after the show there was a we are not worth much last ten years and getting good at it. full meet ‘n greet and time for selfies. This show was because our ad prices If you read through all that is in this sample real as they come and full of punchlines! are too cheap. Find out issue, you will get a real feel for our writers for yourself by calling my Lady Robin our and the style of humor or good news, each KEVIN B Opportunity Specialist on presents. DUSTIN her cell phone: In each issue we try to entertain and inform KLEIN COLE (906) 361-0269 the readers with content they most likely will Postmaster UP not find anywhere else. We try to mix it up, but Magazine (USPS 024- always with the idea, that we want our readers 117) (ISSN 1935-1615) to find items that interest them and maybe even is published 12 times a year by Porcupine Press learn something, while being entertained. Inc. Periodical postage If you like what you see, then please paid at Chatham, MI and consider to subscribe. The backbone and additional mailing offices. power of any magazine, is based of the Please send address changes to PO Box 200, numbers in the subscription department. ∆ Chatham, MI 49816-0200. Notice: U.S. © Copyright 2019 by Porcupine Press Inc., P.O. Box 200 Chatham, MI 49816 Web Sample 3 Toivo Maki Eino Maki Maybe it’s Time to Face the Music as reported by Capt. Mike VDB he guys have spent a few months drinking up the courage to Things like this could be one of the reasons that they seems to takeT on the wrath of their wives after their surprise Christmas Gifts. not be fully appreciated, most of the time. They both wanted a vacation trip, the kind that instills memories for They were down to their last two cans of beer and they clicked a life time, and the guys, in their own way, gave it to them. Okay, so their cans together and toasted their return to face the music. No they went north instead of south, ice fishing rather than just laying time to waste now, they needed to come up with the greatest plan on a beach, and learning winter survival skills rather than dinning to soften their ladies and make them grateful they returned. in fancy restaurants. They believed they had toughened their wives They knew this return was beyond just some flowers and boxes up to be able to handle anything a U.P. Winter could dish out. They of candy. Besides that did not work for them the last time they were still think, in the long run, that the wives should thank them for the in trouble and that time was nothing like this time. special “Navy Seal” type training they received, given in love. Eino came up with an idea, “What if we give them all the On the other hand, they expected that their women just might returnable beer cars we have stored up here in the bus and let not see it as clearly as they do. It has taken all the beer the guys them keep the money.” had stored up, for them to come to the point of needing to return to Toivo shot that idea right out of the saddle, “are you kidding, we the real world and take measure of the resistance they would have have a fortune here at ten cents apiece and we need that toward to deal with. Also, Spring had arrived and they needed to prepare buying that portable sauna we have been talking about.” for the new season. A nice hot shower would be nice, maybe even Eino came back with another idea, “What if we give all the fish a home cooked meal and get their grubby clothes washed, just a we caught this winter we still have wrapped up and stashed in the loving thing to do. snowbanks here, the snow is melting fast and we have no place to They are also excited of getting their main camp ready for the put them anyway.” summer as well. Being away from it for awhile, has given them Toivo had to think about that for a few minutes, Eino was making some thoughts about maybe doing a little remodeling before the a good point about the fish needing to find a better home, “Well, opening of fishing season. With all the windows in their old school I’m glad you reminded me about those fish, I almost forgot about bus camp, they have enjoyed the sun shinning in on the few sunny them. For some reason, I’m sure they would think there was days there were. Toivo mentioned that maybe they should see if something really fishy about us willing to give up such a treasure they could get their wives out to the camp and to tidy up the place of such value. I hate to think about parting with our prize stock pile, a bit, like a spring cleaning. Maybe even wash the windows that however, they won’t last long since the weather is warming up. We have never been done, inside and outside even. Eino mentioned better dig them up and head around to our friends and sell them maybe with getting their old generator running the women would before they go bad.” bring out thier tank type vacuum cleaners they gave them for “Then take the money and buy the wives something nice as a Christmas a few years back. They were on sale, two for the price peace offering,?” Eino was smiling as he said that. of one, from a store that was going out of business. They seemed Toivo snapped back, “You don’t want to start something like that to like those better than the presents the year before. The pairs and get them expecting things. Let’s just try something really new of red flannel one piece underwear with the flap in the back never I heard another guy did, he told his wife he was sorry and that he came out of the box. Looking back, they both admitted that their gift knows now, he was wrong and hopes he will never do something giving ideas were not really thought out too well. like that again, it’s the unexpected and he is still alive today.” ∆ 4 Web Sample I love talking about nothing. It is the only thing I know anything about. - Oscar Wilde Tami Operation: & Evi’s She Shed As told to Terri Martin of L’Anse, MI “Do you think the curtains are too much?” up with a plan so diabolical, so devious, that Satan hisself would Evi asked her thrice-removed cousin, Tami. have been in awe. “Absolutely not,” said Tami. They bring the whole room together. That is how they found themselves at Camp Maki—a destination My, but we’ve certainly made this ol’cabin a lovely little retreat, that they had rarely sought. In fact, prior to recent times, Tami and haven’t we?’ Evi had only been there once, shortly after they had married the Evi nodded. The two women were sitting around a cozy wood two louts, as a kind of test of the new wives’ pioneer spirit. The stove, but not in their usual place in Tami’s parlor. They had the outing had not gone well and the women had demanded their quintessential box of wine perched within reach along with a nice immediate return to civilization where they felt a need to take plate of assorted spritz cookies that Tami had supplied for the long, scalding showers and burn their clothing. Normally, the gals outing to what once had been Toivo and Eino’s camp.