SINCE 1916
VOLUME 82, NUMBER 1 THE PLURAL OF "Y'ALL" IS -ALL Y'ALL" AUGUST 26,1994 Faculty, staff parking fees raised to cut pollution by Rachel Dornhelm ments of 1990 (FCAAA) require Rice driving alone to work will pay $250 employees at Rice. Student parking tions. to increase the average passenger annually for near-lot parking and $75 fees will not change. 'Die Rice News reported the follow- occupancy (APO) for cars to 1.47 by for stadium parking. Last year near-lot Fiscal means will be used not only ing incentives: To meet federal environmental Sept 15,1996. parking cost $75 while stadium park- to dissuade driving, but encourage • Employees scheduled to arrive at standards, Rice has increased its fac- The FCAAAaffectscompanies that ing was free. alternative forms of transportation. work between 6 and 10 am. Monday ulty parking fees for nearby lots from have more than 100 employees and "A lot of people are not happy. It The committee has tried ... to through Friday who bus, vanpool $75 to $250, causing complaints among allows the companies to effect the hurts," said Neill Binford, associate make it something where there is a [seven or more passengers including faculty and staff. changes. A recent survey of univer- vice president for finance and admin- disincentive and the university does the driver], bicycle or walk to work Increased parking fees are the core sity employees determined the APO istration. not gain funds," Binford said. "The will earn $1.50 each day they use alter- of a plan to change the commuting of faculty and staff to be 1.22. Binford and Hardy Bourland, as- plan is not revenue enhancing." native transportation. habits of Rice employees. The Rice If the target APO isn't met, the sociate dean of engineering, were co- Accordingly, the funds that result • Employees who carpool. Employer Trip Reduction Plan will government will fine Rice $25,000 for chairs of the committee that made up from the higher fees will be chan- telecommute [conduct business elec- take effect in October. each violation and for each day the the plan. neled into a reward program. tronically] or do not come to campus It was created in response to legis- violations continue. The committee is comprised of 15 Employees will receive the money because ofan authorized compressed lation requiring 10 cities, one ofwhich To meet the mandated APO, Rice faculty and staff members appointed each month after filling out a transpor- workweek schedule will receive 50 is Houston, to meet air quality stan- is using monetary incentives for fac- by President Malcolm Gillis. tation report sheet Though the plan is cents per day. dards by 1996. ulty and staff. Rice employees arriving Students won't be affected by Clean based on the honor system, the uni- • If employees decide they can bus, The Federal Clean Air Act Amend- on campus between 6 and 10 a.m. and Air Act regulations because they aren't versity will conduct periodic inspec- PLEASE SEE PARKING PAGE 8 Matriculation displays student spirit, humor Hunt to whom many freshmen were' by Christof Spieler presumably grateful, received more applause than anyone else did. Rice welcomed its freshman class College spirit dominated through- Tuesday at matriculation with serious out the proceedings. The speeches addresses, loud chants and a few and processional were punctuated strange "jacks." with college chants. This year's matriculation was Baker College members appeared moved inside from its usual site in in togas, Jones College pulled out a front of Lovett Hall to Stude Recital few dozen "I shot Marty" signs as Hall in the Alice Pratt Brown Building Student Association President Marty because of morning rain. The evening, Makulski spoke and Sid Richardson though, turned outclear and pleasant College, seated above the stage, hon- "I am a terrible predictor of weather," ored SRC Master Gordon Wittenberg Vice President for Student Affairs with a shower of white balloons. Zenaido Camacho told the crowd. As Makulski and Gillis spoke, a President Malcolm Gillis formally student dressed in army fatigues greeted the new students. "I welcome sneaked along the side and crawled at you now one and all," Gillis said. "You audience members' feet as he ap- are now one of us." proached the stage. He leaped onto In the eyes of the audience, the the stage and placed two sugar cubes speeches clearly played second fiddle. on Gillis' lectern. As the hall burst into chants and ap- After the speeches, the recessional plause again and again, Camacho trial moved to Lovett Hall. "It's a nice to quiet them. "If I could, please..." he evening for a walk," Richard Stabell, said, then paused, smiled and said, dean of admissions and records, told "This is great!" The audience burst Gillis as they led the procession. Brown College junior Tino Tran places sugar cubes on President Malcolm Gillis' lectem at matriculation Tuesday. * into renewed applause. Administration officials then As faculty and administration mem- watched and applauded as the class of But the pranks didnt end with the cessional, four students on the edge of the quad. But few heads bers seated on the stage were intro- 1998passed through the Sallyport into ceremony. During the president's re- rollerblades stripped in the arcade by turned as the skaters stayed far from duced, Director of Financial Aid David the moonlit Academic Quad. ception at Willy's statue after the pro- Anderson Hall and skated naked along the crowd and soon disappeared. Campus entrances closed at night
but only through this entrance. issue of security to trie forefront and to by George E. Hatoun "I think it's one of those sacrifices encourage public debate. prompts 2nd shutdown that we have to make to make our He said trie committee was formed President Malcolm Gillis has de- community a bit safer," said over trie summer and that trie mem- by Charles Klein cided to close all campus entrances Voswinkel. bers plan to meet weekly. except entrance 8 from midnight to 6 Emergency vehicles are allowed Makulski said that he wanted to a.m. daily, effective yesterday. to enter the barricaded entrances but have student input to the committee. After a FBI Investigation and multiple changes in passwords last The newly formed ad hoc commit- will be escorted by a university car He said trie committee was consider semester, Owlnet the campus network system, was again breached by an tee on campus security voted last week that will meet them at the entrance ing holding open forum meetings. outside source over the summer, according to Mudd M icroconsultant to recommend closing all entrances and unblock it An SA committee, headed by Will Paul O'Brien. to campus at night, except for one Campus Police cars usually es- Rice College senior Rick Killough. is Password sharing was the cause of the breach, O'Brien said. Due to near the Campus Police station. corted emergency vehicles to their also studying the security situation, the break-in, Owlnet was shut down for the second time in less than six The final decision was made in destinations before the entrances were Makulski said. months. Owlnet officials banned the user from the system for an undis- consultation with the college masters blocked, since many campus roads Gillis confirmed that he has asked closed amount of time. and chair of the Faculty Council, and and buildings are unmarked, Vice President for Finance and Ad- last semester, an intruder entered Owlnet, capturing password files timed to coincide with the arrival of Voswinkel said. PLEASE SEE CLOSED PAGE 7 the returning students, Gillis said. Voswinkel said that she thought inconveniencetousers,the intruder damagedfiles. The casewas referred This is the result of ongoing work the decision to close the entrances to the FBI, and Owlnet officials changed all 3,500 account passwords. and study [by the committee]," Gillis would be permanent Although the disruption did not affect the mqority of students, the ' said. SheeStimated that over half of the A&E shutdown did cause an uproar in thecommunity. Bill Hobby ofthe Hobby The 18 entrances to the campus crimes committed on campus are com- Foundation called the Mudd Consulting Center to find out exactly what will be closed and opened each day mitted by people who come to Rice by the problem was with Owlnet, O'Brien said. . using barricades and chains by Facili- car. Lollapalooza The breach required returning students to change their old pass- ties and Engineering staff members, Gillis said that the university would words. As a precautionary step, Owlnet officials locked all passwords. according to Campus Police Chief take a wait-and-see attitude to making Students will have to log onto a terminal and give day of birth, month of Mary Voswinkel. the closing of the entrances perma- cleans up birth and student ID. Then users have to enter their old password and No Campus Police officers will be nent then their new password a few times. permanently posted at the remaining Student Association President its act After waiting an hour, students can access Owlnet again. But several entrance 8 to intercept traffic onto the Marty Makulski, a member of the campus. security committee, said that the deci- a bug in the Sun operating system. The bug shuts down the password Delivery vehicles will still be al- sion was made for three reasons: to PLEASE SEE OWLNET PAGE 7 lowed to enter the campus at night, improve Rice's security, to bring the 11 2 FRIDAY, AUGUST 26, 1994 THE RICE THRESHER OPINION
SINCE VOU>NONJT EEABLETOGOTO POLLUTION THt WE \H ONE OFTHt Parking plan could be good first step
While the new parking plan offered by the administration is not perfect and will need some improvement before it becomes an effective system, it is a step in the right direction. Rice is mandated by the city of Houston, who is in turn mandated by the federal government, to increase the number of people per car in an effort to reduce pollution. These things can not be changed. The exact way we do it, however, is still up for debate. Ultimately, the university hopes to use economic incentives to change habits. And much debate has been and will be made on the merits of various systems of doing just that But perhaps now is a time to look also toward self motivation to solve these same prob- lems. Faculty and staff are not the only ones whose habits need to be changed to protect the environment Students also need to re- evaluate their needs in terms of environmental impact Now is the ©S/i HA***' time to establish habits that could carry on throughout life. As people move toward alternatives to cars for transportation, more alternatives will appear. Already the city of Houston is looking toward furnishing some Freshmen: We think you'll like this place solutions to the demand for alternative transportation. Recently the federal government granted the city $56 million in matching funds us, like me, really like this university, felt happy: sitting around with good to build hike and bike trails throughout Houston for both transpor- Christof and our memories of it will not be the friends, bicycling around an almost tation and recreation. One of the first of these trails will pass right by unhappy ones I saw in those two col- traffic free inner loop on a gorgeous fall day, and a wonderful Friday after- Rice as it connects the Medical Center, the Greenway/Summit area, Spieler umns: When I look back on my freshman noon when a news story I had been and the Galleria area. Dear Freshmen: year, I dofl't remember those stressful thinking of for weeks suddenly The concept is simple. As demand for alternatives increase, For O-Week last year, the Thresher times between Big Three finals (be dropped into place. alternatives will increase, making giving up cars as primary trans- ran a par of rather cynical columns forewarned — they are inevitably Yes, most of us complain and often portation that much easier. about Rice and Houston. scheduled two days apart) or the days act cynicaL Dont believe us, though. The first step is ours to make whether we like it or not The only We like griping, I suppose, and when it seemed I would never get my We like it here. well take any chance we get But act together and never make it through Ihope—and Iexpect—that it will question that remains is whether we will lead the country under our something about those pieces both- the semester with my mental health be much the same with you. There is own volition or be dragged kicking and screaming by others more ered me: they got it wrong. intact a lot to discover in this place, a lot to concerned with the future. Yes, there is plenty to gripe about Instead, I remember times I truly do.andultimatelyalotto love. Exactly here. That's true anywhere. what that is you must find for yourself. A few people here are embittered Be assured, though, that it is there, bd and cynicaL (For reasons I don't quite and when you hear us griping it is only understand, they all seem to write for Editors because it is always so much easier to the opinion section.) There will also complain than to praise. piniongi be some of you who will be fed up with this place by the time you leave it Christof Spieler is a Sid Richardson Mostofusfindaswe gripe, though, Notes College sophomore and one of two opin- that we don't really mean it. Most of ion editors.
hours before they are due, the first few performances downtown at the week of class is not the time to start Alley Theatre or Wortham Center. p Vivek worrying. As a newcomer to Rice (and, Try to sneak past the guard and into Rao in most cases, to Houston) ,you should the. Sky Lobby at the Texas Com- CO take time to explore the Houston area. merce Tower. The view is worth it Another exhilarating O-Week is This weekend is the perfect time to (Note: we are not legally responsible drawing to a close, and freshmen are begin exploring (unless you stayed up for your actions). slowly coming to grips with the fact all week attending O-Week activities Make reservations for a free boat tour of the Houston shipping channel. SINCE 111* that the fun has ended. Or has if during the day and participating in Freshmen who have approached jacks at night; in that case, it is the Check out San Jacinto, where they upperclassmen for advice have prob- perfect time to begin sleeping). "remembered" the Alamo and won ably been warned of the rigors of mid- Cross Main to get to Hermann Texas its independence. Grab a car terms and finals (especially if those Park and the Houston Zoo. Take a (or "borrow" it from your roommate if David Hale giving advice are science majors). stroll toward Montrose and the Mu- SEE HOUSTON, PAGE 3 Editor-in-Chief Although students are advised to seum of Fine Arts. Check out the study for tests beforehand and begin IMAX and the Russian eggs at the Vivek Rao is a Baker College sopho- homework assignments at least six Museum of Natural History. Take in a more and the other opinion editor. George E. Haloun Business Manager
Haley Robertson Walkway, not wall, would deter criminals Advertising Manager Sei Chong News Editor To the editor sands, even more than that number of The point is, someone who wishes to Kate Hallgren AssL News Editor I noticed in the April 22 issue of the people who use the exercise tracks at enter the campus at some point other Vivek Rao Opinion Editor Wee Thresher there was an article Memorial Park and Herman Park ev- than an "entrance" will be undeterred Christof Spieler Opinion Editor about security at Rice and a letter ery day. The tracks are one reason by physical barriers short of aconcen- Amy Jeter Arts & Entertainment Editor commenting on campus security. Both why those parks are popular and tration camp style fence. Could Rice Joanna Winters Asst. Arts & Entertainment Editor of them mentioned the abduction of people feel safe in them. There are continue to be a quality institution Tony Tran Sports Editor four students and rape of one of them always reasons not to do something with that kind of exterior facade? No. Grant A- Flowers Asst. Sports Editor that precipitated the conscious con- though, so let me bring up two of the Peter Stokes Asst Sports Editor cern with security. I think that both possible objections and poke some Robert Duffield Rachel Domhelm Features Editor items were responsible and probably holes in them. Baker'87 Amy Ferranti Backpage Editor correct in their consideration of the Q#l: The existing track in Herman Adam Richardson Backpage Editor need for greater security and the risk Park already serves the community Bemie Yoo Photography Editor of a liability lawsuit in the future if adequately, and an exercise track Charles Klein Production Manager nothing is done. around Rice would not beused enough Speak Out! Nina Olien Ads Production Manager I did not notice any consideration to justify the expense. to informal security measures in ei- A#l: If you hang around by the The Rice Thresher, the official student newspaper at Rice University ther ofthe items. To be more specific, hedges, you will notice lots of runners since 1916, is published each Friday during the school year, except during when people are around and aware, go by. Notas many as in the park, true, The Rice Thresher welcomes examination periods and holidays, by the students of Rice University. less crime is committed (too many but nobody likes to run on tree roots, your letters. Short (200 words or The Thresherrcscrvcs the rightto refu se any advertising for any reason. potential witnesses). I am not going to mud, broken glass and buckled con- less) letters may be sent in by Additionally, the Thresher does not take responsibility for the factual suggest "awareness" classes or any- crete. If we build it, they will come. As campus mail: Thresher content of any ad. thing so boring. No, what I suggest is for the expense issue, as another let- or to our e-mail account, Editorial and business offices are located on the second floor ofthe Ley developing a high quality exercise ter writer said, it will be cheaper than Thresher® ricevm 1 .rice.edu. Student Center, P.O. Box 1892, Houston, Texas, 77251. Phone 527-4801. track around the outside of the Rice a negligence suit. Longer pieces should be sub- Fax 285-5238. e-mail: thresher@ricevm 1 .rice.edu. Advertising information University campus. Q#2: A brick wall would provide mitted on computer disk available on request Mail subscription rate per semester: $20.00domestic, An exercise track would attract more security. (Macintosh Word preferred, but $40.00 international via first class mail. Non-subscription rate: first copy many people, students, ahimni and A#2: This one is not true.The exist- we can use just about anything, free, second copy $1.00. citizens of Houston. It would encour- ing hedges can be walked through, even IBM disks) by 5:00 p.m. Unsigned editorials represent the majority opinion of the Thresher age positive interaction with the sur- but a wall can be climbed over. As for on Monday. Please include a Editorial Staff. All other pieces represent solely the opinion of the author. rounding neighborhood and all Hous- stopping cars, hedgesareused in free- printed copy. Obviously. © COPYRIGHT 1994 tonians. There are hundreds, thou- way medians as barriers and dividers. OPINION THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, AUGUST 26, 1994 3 OK Cola strives to find niche among cynical members of Generation X unswayed by offers to double your given up hope just yet Coca-Cola's Michael pleasure and double your fun, for ex- new beverage, OK Cola, is the most ample. Also, you refuse to consume ingenious effort yet at Generation X In the graduation issue of the drop us a note. You can push Nabavian the Choice of a New Generation in marketing. It comes in an unexciting Thresher, we put out the call, in a something under our door, send it large enough quantities to validate grey can that features a simply let- smaliish ad on page 3, for a new to the Thresher via campus mail, As a typically savvy Generation Xer, the slogan. tered logo and a black-and-white co mic columnist to replace Chris Thomas, or send e-mail to an opinion editor's you are an advertiser's nightmare. book image of a jaded youngster. Its who walked out through the account, •pielertfowlnet or Even worse, your generation Even as you read these words, a bald- motto ("Don't be fooled into thinking Sallyport to biggerand better things vfvekraoOowtnet. seems to have a gaping hole where its ing man high up in a Madison Avenue naive idealism and impressionability there has to be a reason for every- last May. When we got back to our Oh, and if you think you could do office building is toiling away in a should be. The preceding generation thing") demands no unreasonable office last week, we found a pile of a better job of writing, send a heart attack-inducing frenzy, trying to doesn't understand you. Advertisers expectations from Xers, of OK Cola or responses. samplecolumn. You'vegot another formulate the soft sell that will make it and marketing people, in particular, anything else. In fact, OK Cola doesn't week or so before we make up our We thought we'd publish a few of past your skeptical eye. It isn't easy. dont understand you. Actually, they pretend to be great. All it promises, minds. those submissions, and let you, Your demographic is cynical despise you. Sometimes they wish really, is to be OK. our readers, let us know which one We, and your fellow readers, enough to be wary of traditional ad your generation would take a long When I called the OK Cola hotline you like the most. Read these and look forward to hearing from you. campaigns' unrealistic claims and collective walk off a short pier. (1-80()-I-Feel-OK), I anticipated some misleading associations. You are On the other hand, they haven't SEE COLA PAGE 5 Ribbon-wearing 'activists' all bark, no bite Help Wanted! I always u sed to worry about people pins in place of straight pins. Safety General Office Work with Flexible Hours who wore rib bons all over the ir bod ies pins, you see, won't look fashionable Bert to show their concern for all the in- enough for celebrities to wear to award Gall vogue causes—causes ranging from ceremonies.) Close to Rice 4 to 5 hours per day Mon-Fri "Save the Whales" to "Save the Out-of- What, then, will the ribbon-wear- I've noticed that the ribbon craze Work Whalers." I've always believed ers do? has died down lately. Quite frankly, that rallies where people are showcas- Will they decide to take substan- NO SMOKING $5.75/hour that's a good thing for me because I ing their compassion by wearing tons tive action regarding the causes that simply could not remember what all of ribbons are a terrible disaster wait- they claim to care so deeply about? the different colored ribbons were ing to happen. Someday, somewhere, Will they, stripped of their color-of- 4802 Travis 528-5568 supposed to represent. a crowd, inspired by a passionate the-rainbow ribbons, visit AIDS pa- Houston, TX 77002 Ask for Bill Gay or Janet A few types of ribbons stand out in speaker and packed inside a cramped tients, contribute to charities and run my mind as being pretty easy to re- auditorium, is going to become so for elected office in order to make a frenzied that a mass pin-sticking will Th* Beit Piiu In Town... member in terms of their causes. real difference? 664-5700 There's that red one for AIDS and that occur. Yes, the pins that hold the rib- For most, the answer is no. Asking bons in place will turn on their mas- Take Out green one for saving the environment Americans to act on their compas- University at But what about all those other rib- ters. sion, the ACLU will probably argue, FREE delivery bons? You know, the lime-colored, Okay, so my fear seems ridicu- represents an undue burden that no Greenbriar (Restricted Areas) magenta, and chartreuse ones? Where lous. Still, you have to believe that American should have to shoulder. the hell did they come from? I feel somewhere within the bowels of the So, I ask again, what will the rib- PICK UP FREE sorry for whatever causes were repre- Washington corridors of power, there bon-wearers do? I suspect that they sented by those ribbons. is agoverament bureaucrat who hasn't will do what comes naturally to them. DEALS DELIVERY I can imagine the leader of some left his swivel chair since LBJ's inau- They'll create a "Save the Pins That not-yet formed group — say, the Or- guration and who thinks that Orwell's Pin Our Ribbons" ribbon and wear it Two Medium 1 Topping $000 $ ganization for Preventing Oliver North "1984" provides a good model of how to work, school and social events. Ei- 2 Large 99 from Selling Arms Made from the government should function. ther that, or they'll do what most rib- Original Crust Pizza O Two 12 Rainforests to the Contras so They This guy probably shares my con- bon-wearershave already done—just OR Can Produce Ozone-Depleting Chemi- cern that the pins used to hold ribbons forget about the whole damn thing. Large 1 Topping fY)0 Topping cals and Practice Trickle-Down Eco- After all, ribbons and the feel-good, or in place constitute a real health hazard 2 Original Crust Pizza I \J 99 nomics While Assuminga Misogynis- to the American populace, and he'll cause-of-the-week compassion they +3 Can Drinks FREE TWO Mediums for $9 tic Attitude that Perpetuates the Male probably take drastic action to protect represent are bound to go out of style Patriarchy — sighing as he has to Americans from themselves. I can see as quickly as parachute pants did. PICK UP ONLY - VALID WITH COUPON ONLY. TAKE OUT OR FREE DELIVERY ONLY WITH COUPON Add'l toppings $1 per pizza. EXPIRES 12/31/94. NOT VALID WITH ANY OTHER OFFER. EXPKES 1231/9^| choose puke-green for his ribbon's the headlines now: "Consumer Pro- There remains, then, only one al- color because it's the only color left tection Safety Commission Outlaws ternative. We could actually dare to unclaimed (The sigh I imagine is remi- Pins: Ribbon-Wearers Across Nation ask Americans to lay down their rib- FREE PICK-UP niscent of the sigh of the captain of a Protest this New Regulation of Caring bons and show some real compassion DELIVERY DEALS pick-up basketball team in high-school and Compassion." by actually working to benefit the gym class who gets stuck with the last In the main text of the story, a causes they say they care about. Nah. SPECIALTY $"799 •4 Small 1 Topping $399 guy in the selection pool—generally, flabbergasted ribbon-wearer will ask, It's a nice idea, actually, but I doubt it • Original Crust Pizzas the scrawny, bespectacled, pimple- "Without pins for ribbons, how are we will play well in Peoria. SPECIAL / faced guy who shoots his free-throws supposed to show that we care?" (No- Any Medium Specialty Pizza (Excluding Sampler) •4 Medium 1 Topping $jj|J99 granny-style.) body will even think of using safety Bert Gall is a Lovett College junior. ' Orginal Crust Pizzas OR TWO FOR $-J -J 99 + 1 FREE Can Drink
Mind, not matter, prevents humanity TAKE OUT OR FREE DELIVERY CNLY WITH COUPON. | PICK UP ONLY. VAUD WITH COUPON ONLY NOT NOT VALID WITH ANY OTHER OFFER. EXPHES 1201/94 j VALID WITH ANY OTHER OFFER EXPWES 123m J from escaping confines of our planet
ing on the existence of aliens or de- So, as always, when confronted picting encounters, both hostile and with something unknown, one must Christina friend ly, with other life forms, humans strive to understand it by relating it to Kao something known, for the intangible cannot be grasped without some sort Before 0. J. Simpson dominated of tangible starting point Therefore, the television screen this summer, I, (Try to conceive of an one can define what is not human only along with many other viewers, by considering what is human. watched the lastepisodeof"StarTrek: invasion or an attack by Despite differences in culture, race, The Next Generation." Although I am religion and sex, some things remain not an avid Trekkie, I felt that this creatures that have no constant throughout the human spe- Party episode marked the end of an era. cies. Humans experience an intense While older generations may re- understanding of war, range of emotions, including, but not member what they were doing when limited to, happiness, grief, pain, love they learned of John F. Kennedy's hilling or weapons. 9 and hate. Humans develop through a assassination, today's college students life cycle that begins at birth and ends Willy's Pub remember watching in horror as the SEE STAR TREK. PAGE 5 Challenger exploded. "The Next Gen- eration" introduced those same stu- can neither prove nor disprove the Christina Kao is a Will Rice College dents to wondrous space-age technol- presence of other intelligent life. sophomore. Wednesday September 7 ogy and innovations like teleportation ("beam me up, Scottie"), as well as Finally, don't forget to visit the acquainting them with multiple uni- Houston AstroWorld, an outer space version of 9 pm to 12 am verses filled with new planets and life Six Flags. It's too close to Rice for forms. FROM PAGE 2 anyone to not visit at least once their Coincidentally, this summer also you do not have your own) and first semester here, although I do ad- Discounts on 20 oz. fatties marked the 25th anniversary of man's head south to NASA Be sure to ap- mit that the entrance fee may be too first lunar landing. Now, 25 years after plaud when they show the podium at out-of-this world for some people. those memorable steps, humanity has which JFK spoke in Rice Stadium So here's my advice: get a life, and 12 oz. d raf ts not yet produced starships traveling Head on down to Galveston, where don't study too much, and see a bit of at warp speed. In fact, despite the the flatness of the land meets the flat- this place before the Rice workload Meet the Rice Alums who created St Arnold, numerous stories and films speculat- ness of the ocean. destroys your will to live. Houston's first microbrewery 4 FRIDAY, AUGUST 26, 1994 THE RICE THRESHER OPINION
Doonesbury BY GARRY TRUDEAU
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are not readily defeated. True, you no you don't see any John F. Kennedysor We're a lonelier bunch. Douglas for children of divorce like Cobain Cola longer have to worry about being viable countercultures sprouting up Coupland, the author of Generation X (not to dwell on him, or anything), drafted or getting nuked by the Soviet from the ruins. (the novel that coined that term), has who spent his youth bouncing from FROM PAGE 3 Union. The baby boomers had it good. noted that there are a growing num- one relative to another and who sortof appeal to my cynicism butwasnt But you do have the opportunity, That's right; they're the ones who had ber ofXers walking around who "have brooded until his last hour about hav- quite sure how it would be carried off. for example, to be shut out of a job at icons to look up to, well-defined ex- no narrative structure to their lives. ing been robbed of his childhood. The recorded voice that welcomed a company that has decided to pectations to fulfill or rebel against, The big structure used to be the job, Generation X deserves a little sym- me to the hotline was stuffy and "rightsize," to join a street gang in a and the freedom to experiment as a the career arc, and that's no longer pathy. After all, we're the ones whose vaguely self-mocking, reminiscent of crumbling inner city, to contract a culture with new ideas and new there. Neither is family or religion. All task it is to advance boldly into the Jim Dial, the anchorman on "Murphy deadly sexually transmitted disease, lifestyles. They stayed innocent long these narrative templates have next millennium, with noth ing to com- Brown." It offered me the choice of to enter the growing ranks of temp enough to believe briefly that they eroded." fort us during the journey but blind hearing the "OK Manifesto" or hear- and part-time workers, to brood about could come on, smile on their brother Lots of troubled teens with busy faith and a couple of cans of O K Cola. ing the manifesto backwards "for pos- toxic waste and the rape of the Pacific and try to love one another, but Gen- parents and no family life seem des- Northwest'sold-growth forests, to lose eration X holds no such collective as- tined for the kind of aimlessness Michael Nabavian is a Sid Richardson your faith in the government's capac- pirations. Coupland describes. The same holds College sophomore. ity to improve society, to be mortally Years of neglect have wounded by a stray bullet, to die, ons. But, beyond all this, try to imag- tions with no answers that set the thereby increasing the per capita tax Star Trek ine an alien species that does not th ink limitsofhuman possibilities, describe resulted in the problems dollars required to make the ever- by logic, that cannot comprehend the the boundaries of human existence." increasing interest payments on the FROM PAGE 3 rational or the irrational. Philosophers such as Plato and Generation Xfaces — big, colossal public debt Generation X has with death. Humans have basic needs Descartes believed that the mind is inherited. that must be met, such as the need for limited by thedesires of the body. But, looming problems that are So a little whining may be in order, food and sleep (although college stu- perhaps, the mind is only limited by after alLThere's noquestion that many dents try desperately to defy this). 6 the knowledge it possesses. Without not readily defeated. ' of the perils can be sidestepped. Ac- But, perhaps most importantly, hu- To really go where no a certain basis or foundation, some cess to a college education, supple- mans possess an intellectual capacity ideas are simply inconceivable. With- mented by a good measure of ingenu- that stems from the ability to rational- man has gone before, man out knowledge of the foot, one could ity, can go a long way; staying out of ize, to think logically and to imagine. not invent the shoe. sible subliminal messages." I chose bad neighborhoods is good advice, Now, using these abilities, try to must first exceed the limits It may be true that space is the final the former and was read the five-point too, provided you dont live in one. imagine an alien species that is not frontier. manifesto, which propounded cheer- It's certainly possible to find your susceptible to human limitations. Con- of the human mind. ' But, to really go where no man has fully nihilistic slogans such as, "What's niche, possibly chip away at some of sider a speciesthat is not vulnerable to gone before, man must first exceed the point of 0 K Cola? Well, what's the America's ills in your spare time, and disease or death, a species with no the limits of the human mind. point of anything?" and "The better be satisfied with your lot in life. perception of morality, evil or good- The possibilities for the existence you understand something, the more But the big problems will remain, ness. Try to conceive of an invasion or Milan Kundera wrote, "A question of other life forms may be infinite, but OK it turns out to be." You have to a constant backdrop. It's a bad envi- an attack by creatures that have no with no answer is a barrier that cannot man must accept that he may never admire OK*s subtlety, we've come a ronment for idealists, which is why understanding ofwar, killing or weap- be breached. In other words, it i s qu es- encounter any of those possibilities. long way, I suppose, since the days of "Brill Cream—A little dab will do ya'." But the sad side to Coca-Cola's r~ claim for its new product is that even in underpromising ("Ultimately, things are going to be 0 K"), it may be promising too much for us. I risk being labeled a whiner by baby boomers and their parents for making the preceding statement, I realize. Denunciations of Generation X that recently appeared in The New Republic and Newsweek have argued that case with thinly veiled bitterness. Our generation stands accused of being spoiled rotten. "What would all these young people be doing if they had real problems like a Depression, World War II, or Vietnam?" asked Andy Rooney, addressing the teens and twenty somethings who mourned Kurt Cobain. Apparently Rooney, 75, believed the mourners to represent a *selfish and deluded generation, Cobain their ill-chosen leader, and their sadness the result of some mis- guided idea. Thetruthaboutthefans who cared enough to mark Cobain's death, how- ever, is that they are one segment of Generation X for whom things are not Rings' OK — and that they identified with the rage and anguish in Cobain's mu- sic for that reason. As bad things go, wars and depres- sions are the worst, but at least they're transitory! Years of neglect have re- BROTHER AX 325 sulted in the problems Generation X faces — big, looming problems thai ELECTRONIC TYPEWRITER Canon Auto 'Word Out' correction. Auto paper insertion, lift-off correction memory, auto underlining, bold printing, right margin flush. Express/half backspace, variable 10/12 pitch type selector. London No. 623-801 List 199.95 99 $295 ss
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Car accident kills Rice student NEWS IN BRIEF by Sei Chong PBS to film in Fondren founding of the James A Baker III The Current Periodicals Room in Institute for Public Policy, and she Eondren Library will be closed from leaves Rice only a year and a half after A Sid Richardson College student Sept 3 through Sept 5 because PBS taking over the position of director of died two weeks ago when a car travel- will be filming a special on the Inter- RIPA ing the wrong way on the highway net The date and time of the PBS "First, Kathy Whitmire has been collided with his car, according to program broadcast are unavailable at an articulate and forceful spokesper- Department of Public Safety reports. this time, said librarian Kerry Keck. son for Rice both inside Houston and Ernie Chavira, 23, was heading Baker named as trustee beyond," Dean of Social Sciences home Aug. 12 to El Paso for his Rice announced May 23 the elec- James said. mother's birthday, said SRC senior tion of James A Baker III, former "Second, she has moved RIPA for- Kelly Muldoon, one of Chavira's secretary of state, and E. William ward in new and important directions friends. DPS reported that Chavira Baraett, managing partner of Baker & and built momentum that will prove was driving on Interstate Highway 10 Botts law firm, to the university Board very valuable to Rice in the future. West in Hudspeth County west of Fort of Governors. The changes were ef- Third, she has been one of the Hancock, when another driver going fective July 1. leading designers of the Baker Insti- east on I-10 West hit Chavira's car in Baker and Barnett were previously tute on both the academic planning the center of the passing lane. term members of the board. They are side and as a member of the search D I^S was notified of the accident at replacingjosephine Abercrombie and committee for the director. 8:50 p.m. and Chavira died at 10:15 Ernie Chavira stands with SRC senior Krissy Parker at a party. John L Cox, who are retiring. "Fourthly, she has made timely p. m. The other driver was take n to the ... almost overly polite," Barbeau said. thing for you he went out of his way. Abercrombie and Cox were named and important contributions to the hospital. Reports said there was evi- She had worked with Chavira for He wentout of his way for his friends." Rice trustees in 1975 and 1982, re- university's undergraduate curricu- dence that the other driver had con- two years, liar beau said he worked at "He cared a lot about his brother spectively. lum, such as in the increased visibility sumed alcohol before the accident Camp Can-Do for disabled adults with and sisters," Jackson said. "Through Whitmire leaves Rice for JA of women in politics." "It's a shame, because he had so multiple sclerosis, where he assisted everything, he always looked out for KathrynJ. Whitmire, former mayor President Malcolm Gillis feels that much going for him," said Cheryl a camper for 24 hours a day for five his family." of Houston and director of the Wee Whitmire was a key person at Rice Barbeau, director of client services at days. His cheerfulness at the camp Muldoon said, "Hejoked around a Institute for Policy Analysis [RIPA], who will be missed. the southeast Texas chapter of the helped others, she said. He also lot, willing to take time out to talk to leaves Rice University today for Colo- "She has been very important to Multiple Sclerosis Society in Hous- worked with children in the Read-a- people." rado Springs where she will take over the university in helping promote our ton. She said Chavira, who had mul- thon to help them to understand MS. Chavira is survived by his parents, as the president and chief executive interests in internationalization par- tiple sclerosis, worked as a volunteer His friends also remembered his Raoul and Elinora Chavira, a brother, officer of Junior Achievement, Inc. on ticularly through RIPA's close involve- for the society. generous nature. SRC senior Henry Roger, and three sisters, Edna, Mel- Sept 6. ment with the consular corps in Hous- "Hewasvery nice, very easygoing, Jackson said, "When Ernie did some- issa and Patricia. Whitmire was instrumental in the ton," Gillis said. Baylor College of Medicine VP places students as top priority is seeking work-study students to fill clerical and laboratory helper positions. Interested candidates should apply in impressed, not just with the scholarly by Vivek Rao academic part, but [also] with the fact person Tuesday - Friday or send resume to: that they do so many other things," Baylor College of Medicine After two years without a perma- Camacho said. Texas Medical Center nent vice president for student affairs, Camacho explained that one of his Rice has found someone to fill the reasons for joining Rice was a desire One Baylor Plaza, Room T101 post to work with students on a regular Houston, Texas 77030 In May, President Malcolm Gillis basis. "I had come to the point in my (713) 798-4357 and the Board of Governors chose career where I... was not spending as Baylor College of Medicine Is an equal opportunity, afflrmitlve action, and equal access employer. Zenaido Camacho, senior associate much time with students as I had dean at Baylor College of Medicine, to wanted to," he said. replace Ronald Stebbings. Stebbings Camacho has identified two areas had returned to the Rice faculty at the of student life that could be improved. end of the 1992-93 academic year, "My perception is that, especially 10% OFF LUNCH SPECIALS after a 10-year term as vice president in the freshman year, students come Sarah Burnett, dean of students, was in having done marvelously all their interim vice president lives," he said, adding that many stu- Zenaido Camacho Entree Camacho, 51, was a full professor dents who did well in high school 25% off in Baylor's pathology department and Marty Makulski said he sees Camacho suddenly find themselves struggling. Dinner Party of an associate professor in the commu- as "the students' greatest ally." "I get the feeling that we don't nity medicine department at the time reach out [to these students] and... let 4 or more Entree "He's going to transform Student of his appointment Affairs and the entire campus toward them know that it's OK... and some- "Zenaido Camacho is an exemplar a philosophy that puts students as the how get them to feel much better of a new type of student affairs leader top priority," he said. about themselves." at research universities," Gillis said. As a faculty member at Baylor, As the vice president for student lab 7Mi fyskmnt He added that "Dr. Camacho also Camacho. participated in numerous affairs, Camacho views himself as a brings substantial experience in at- committees, including those involved "spokesperson" and hopes to work The Best THAI FOOD in Town tracting and retaining highly qualified with medical school admissions. In with faculty and students to fulfill his minority students and will work closely the process, he has met many Rice duties. LUNCH SPECIALS: with other Rice officials in assuring students. "I'm reaching out and meeting as that Rice maintains a supportive envi- "IVe known about Rice students much faculty as I can [here at Rice], ronment for them." for several years, and I have always he said. "I'm trying to learn as much $2.95 - $5.95 Student Association President been impressed with them, absolutely from them about th e academic world."
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in David Auston a truly distinguished by Charles Klein academician and highly qualified ad- Quality and value you 've only dreamed of ministrator who brings a broad range While the rest of the campus is just of skills to the provost position at Rice." ( '()\ //- ()R TERS beginning to wake up, a lone figure Auston holds the same respect for 10% off with this ad. bikes around the inner loop. Every Gillis, and he thinks that their respect morning, David Auston, the new pro- for each other will help make his first BEDSPREADS vost and former dean of engineering months easier to handle. and applied sciences at Columbia Uni- "I think that Malcolm is exactly the 1 Dl I EIS versity, prepares for the day with a right person for Rice University," David Auston bike ride. Auston said. "He is an excellent (Y)l ERLETS Since taking office Aug. 15, Auston fundraiser, he has good intuition and Auston said he hasn't had the time has already begun to take on the he has a unique understanding about to review the foundation course pro SHEETS provost's juggling act left behind by Rice and education. Malcolm was defi- posals in depth, but he said he be- interim Provost James L Kinsey and nitely a factor in my decision to qome lieves the proposal is one of the major former Provost Neal Lane, who was here." issues facing the university. Another WlNDbW named the head of the National Sci- Auston was also offered a tenured concern is the debate about graduate ( ()l ERIN as ence Foundation last year. professorship at Rice, but he said he research versus undergraduate edu- "[President] Malcolm [Gillis] has won't teach for a year. He said he has cation. ^ BA EH ROOM asked me to focus on the curriculum," opened his doors to all students and "I believe very strongly in the im- AC( ESSOR/ES Auston said. "I will also be working faculty to learn the traditions of Rice. portance of undergraduate education with admissions, financial aid and the "I want to get out and meet all the he said. "I don't see research and registrar. We're going to take a hard faculty and dine with the students. It is undergraduate education having a eef. Bedroom Store look at financial aid." unrealistic for me to teach in the first conflict with each other, butrather the 2414 Rice Blvd.. The Ullage, V42-2044 "Of all the new provosts [in the year, but I do have an office in Aber- synergies are important I want to get nation ] this year, this one is the best," crombie and will teach in Rice's De- opportunities for undergraduates to w HE. •- Gillis said. partment of Electrical and Computer do research so that we will use our "The search committee produced Engineering," he said. total resources." NEWS THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY. AUGUST 26. 1994 7
College jacks continue Shopping spree in tradition of O-Week ~£-n-T' by Christof Spieler down his back. • Fifty Will Rice College freshmen pick up the Jones College sun deck An Orientation Week is tradition- and dump it into the volleyball pit ally filled with a series of inter-college There is significant damage, maybe jacks and counter-jacks. This year has $1,000 worth, according to Jones co- shaped up no differently, though one ordinator Haley Robertson. "They adviser lamented the quality of jacks were hammered," she said. < "Everyone's been, like, losers on jacks • Agroup yelling Team Wiess" cov- lately," she said. ers the front steps of SRC with beans This is a partial list of pranks pulled and eggs. Wiess College denies all during O-Week: responsibility. <€• Monday • Jones sneaks into Brown College • Sid Richardson College stages a and rearranges the furniture in the shaving cream fight that night Some- private dining room. body yells, "Let's get Hanszen." • At the same time, Brown fans Every college but Baker is attacked across the Jones parking lot with cans with shaving cream. There isone prob- of shoe polish to make it look like a lem: an official truce prohibits jacks used car lot, marking prices on all the Jags Iyengar, father of Andrew, a Will Rice College freshman, shops at the Campus Store this week. until 7 a.m. Tuesday. SRC must clean windshields. Jones students find out up and apologize. just how difficult it is to remove shoe Tuesday polish from glass. • In the morning, Lovett College • Jones kidnaps the Baker College goes over to the SRC commons to president two WRC coordinators, and move all the furniture outside. The a Wiess coordinator, wraps them in lone SRC adviser in the area puts up plastic wrap and moves them across resistance. campus in shopping carts. See your local campus reseller for when many users try to change their more information. Owlnet passwords, O'Brien said Owlnet offi- WordPerfect 6.0 DOS cials may allow students who access and Dictionary FROM PAGE 1 Owlnet directly from a terminal to The most powerful DOS program if too many people are trying keep their old passwords. application ever' H WordPerfect to change their passwords at once. But those who log onto Owlnet Novell Applications Group The system then must be restarted from a remote terminal would be before anyone can use the program forced to change their passwords from again. their remote terminals. In this way, Owlnet experienced similar prob- Owlnet officials can keep track of the lems last semester after officials accounts. changed all passwords. A hard-drive Vicky Dean, Rice UNIX system failure unrelated to the break-in kept director, and Joseph Watters, project the system down. manager for Owlnet were unavail- Due to the problems that occur able for comment GM AT / GRE / LS AT puter-monitored personal security Closed devices and a fence enclosing the cam FROM PAGE 1 pus. Gillis said he hoped to avoid con- Prep with the Best! ministration Dean Currie to look into structing a fence arOund Rice. But he "reducing the need for students to acknowledged that a fence, rumored leave campus late at night" to cost$4 million dollars, has not been This might include an on-campus ruled out video store and an eatery, since these "We also understand that this Free Informational Seminars: are two services for which students would be a different land of Rice Uni- often go off campus after dark. versity" if a fence were built around GRE: Tuesday, September 13th Gillis also said the committee was the campus, Gillis said. looking into other, long-term changes "We're looking at all of our options to campus security. to make this a safe campus in a vibrant GMAT: Tuesday, September 20th Those changes might include com community," he said. LSAT: Thursday, September 29th Are you Looking to Purchase a Used Car? Call 988-4700 for locations & times DON'T BUY SOMEONE ELSE^ PROBLEMS! •f AutoSpec's 220 Point Pre-Purchase Inspection Includes: Early Bird classes begin in October. • Engine Analysis • Vehicle Report • Emissions Testing • Enroll now and get a head start! FREE USED CAR APPRAISALS BY PHONE For more information or to arrange an inspection, call: MWAutoSpec 4NO-RISK KAPLAN 466-7475 The answer to the test question. 8 FRIDAY, AUGUST 26, 1994 THE RICE THRESHER NEWS pel faculty to move their classes to the Parking late morning or early afternoon. Other concerns involve the staff. FROM PAGE 1 Some staff members have said they bike or walk to campus most of the cannot afford to pay the increased time — more than two-thirds of the parking fees. time — they may choose not to pay Even though staff members may any parking registration fee. have consistent schedules, many com Instead, they would purchase hang mute farther distances than the fac- tags for the days they must have their ulty do because high real estate costs vehicles on campus. Parking would near the university. cost $3 a day for near-lots and $1 a day In addition to inconvenience, some for stadium parking. staff members worry about their safety That expense would be offset by as they ride buses into certain neigh- the $1.50 per day reward they would borhoods. receive for using alternative transpor- Binford said the committee took tation regularly. these concerns into account when But even the prospect of cleaner making up the plan. air won't allow some Rice employees "The committee felt strongly that to breather easy about the new trans- the $75 in the stadium was an escape portation regulkions. hatch for those who needed an out It Ambitious college student Some faculty members said they is an inconvenience, but the whole thought Rice could have created a thing is an inconvenience," he said. more imaginative and cutting-edge "The state wants us to do less driv- interested in weekend job for fall plan. ing. When you try to figure out how to "To the extent that [information be equitable, you are faced with a regarding the matter] is an accurate whole other series of issues. As a semester. Must be a team player representation, I think it is a disap- percentage of salary, buying the car in pointment," said Statistics Department the first place is much larger burden Chair James Thompson. [compared to the parking fees] for and outgoing person. "Rice is a major research univer- someone with a lower income. That's sity. We have faculty on national pan- our system," he said. els related to these issues; we have Binford said interested faculty and faculty with the wide variety of exper- staff were encouraged to contribute tise necessary to comply with EPA their ideas throughout the process. Postitions still available at our Six regulations." "We made calls for information, held a "Texas expects us to do something public meeting, came up with one extraordinary in response," he said. plan, took it to two public meetings Flags Astroworld location. "This plan could have been thought of and then the committee came back by a third-rate plastics factory." and made revisions." Many facets of the plan have been The administration emphasizes attacked. Concerns range from the that this plan will only work if those efficiency of the program to its eco- make an effort to achieve the goal of a nomic fairness. healthier environment In a letter to Binford, Stephen Zeff, "If we as a collective decide we're a professor in the Jesse H.Jones School going to move to the stadium lot we'll $5 to $5.50 per hour plus commission. of Administration, writes: "Faculty have to do something else," Binford don't have 'regular hours,' while staff said. do. "The bottom line is that the state "Staff might engage in carpooling has a law make us change our habits." or take the bus. I find it very difficult to In a memo, Gillis said that if this believe that faculty will do either." plan isn't effective, then stronger mea- Zeff also said the plan would com- sures will be necessary. a Party Planned for You ! Learn to Scuba Dive and go to Cozumel October 14 -17 This Package includes: Open Water Scuba Diving Certification, Airfare, 4 nights at the Casa Del Mar Hotel, 2 days of boat diving, Unlimited shore diving, Breakfast every morning, Equipment rental, taxes, and a Blow-Out Party! Downtown Sum it • Come See Us at the Hwy 59 J Student Center August 31, n — OCEAN SPORTS ''' Bissonett 5245 Buffalo Speedway Houston. Texas 77005 from 8:00 am - 5:00 pm 1 713/880-1287 Z ! s £ to 0 CD n 1 5 STAR INSTRUCTOR III 4 4 V • »• UM ?;*»«*•'1 ' u i 1 i i '(s^Smk \V-A.V'.'. ;; ' • ;n u\ \ \ \ - : 1 1 i 1 V. \ 1 ^ <\ i \ \ September 7,1994 from 9am to 3pm in the Rice Student Center. The Rice University MacFest is a great opportunity to These bundles include all you need to get your Mac up see the latest Apple technology and help you decide and running, including the CPU, monitor, keyboard, and which Macintosh is right for you. Come test your skills valuable software. Most system bundles will be available on the latest computer games that are for purchase and pickup (see below.) accelerated for Power Macintosh. Joining Apple will be reps from prominent While you're there, be sure to check out the vendors such as WordPerfect, Claris, Microsoft, new Back to School Bundles for the Performa HP, AutoDesk and A$obe. Call Rice Computer 475, Performa 636, PowerBook 520, Power- Sales at 527-4052 for more info. (located Book 150, and Power Macintosh 7100/66. Win a Newton 110 downstairs in the Rice Campus Store.) and T-Shirts! Back To School Bundles Performa6364250 PowerBook5204/160 Performa4754/160 PowerBook 150 4/120 PowerMac 7100668/250 Color Plus Display ClarisWorks Performa Plus Display ClarisWorks Mac Color Display Apple Design Keyboard PowerBook Mobility Bundle Apple Keyboard II PowerBook Mobility Bundle Apple Design Ke^'board Performa 636 software Back io School Software MOO bps fax modem Back to School Software ClarisWorks Back To School software $1,975 Performa 475 Software $1,244 Back To School software $1,383 $1,177 $2,332 Performs6368/250CD Performa 475 Software: ClarisVMts. At Ease, Macintosh PC Exchange, Quicken. Best of HomeVibrks Template, ChckArt Performa Power Mac 7100668/25QCD Color Plus Display Collection. America Online, American Heritage Dictionary, Spectre Challenger Mario Teaches Typing. 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Power management, and Information management r 10 FRIDAY, AUGUST 26. 1994 THE RICE THRESHER ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT HEY, I'M A COW Barenaked Ladies strip down to the bone in 'You Should Drive" BY DAVID HALE album with a song entitled "Be My Yoko Ono" songs that cry out to be labeled Generation X— theirversitility by covering a gamut of styles, on could uoi miss such a following. if that moniker were not instant damnation. Maybe You Should Drive the Ladies have noth- The oddly named Barenaked Ladies' (there Their second offering, Maybe You Should The Barenaked Ladies grew up in the two ing to prove, and the result is a mix of well are no women in the group, nor are they appar- Drive, leaves behind much of the laughs and years since their first albulm Gordon was re- arranged, almost even orchestrated songs. ently naked, since they're from Toronto and dives much more deeply into the heart The leased. Also emerging on Maybe you Should Drive would be really cold) first album was a quirky result isnt bad. But it is very different. "Old at being young, young at being old," are the writing talents of the other members of mix of humor and emotion-soaked ballads that Gone are the songs about making it through sings Stephen Page in "Alternative Girlfriend." the Ladies besides Page and guitarist Ed Robert- developed into something of a cult classic. No the first day of ninth grade. In their place are No longer happy-go-lucky just out of high son.. "Little Tiny Song" features pianist Andrew schoolers, they have become road-weary travel- Creeggan by himself (there is hardly room for (BUTZEN?) lers looking for their next step. anyone else). Not that this is bad. It is I still think these guys would be great live, but very mellow, and mellow the chances are slim that they will can be good. ever venture this far south. Still, one 'Wagons East' lacks all direction The Barenaked La- can always wish. The fun of Gordon dies are all great musi- alone would make it a worthwhile B Y RACHEL DORNHELM "Wagons Easf"s bad guys are the people who funded cians, which both show. The emotion of Drive would AND K R I S T I M C K I N N E Y it in the first place. The screen bad guys are some albums show off, make it even better. corporate tycoons who are worried that the refugees but in different Maybe You Should Drive is not The title of this flick is the only thing about the are going to give going West a bad name. Railroad ways. While without its humor. It is just not as in- entire movie that has direction. investors, they are lacking off a "Go West!" campaign Gordon your-face as Gordon. "So enthusias- Fortunately these two words mention nothing in order to get enough people on the frontier to merit showed tic, a little bit drastic, I shaved her about speed, so there were no false pretenses in this federal aid for their prqjecL of f name into my head. As she beheld it, regard. I realize I must devote some time to delineat- They hire a hit man to sabotage the eastern she said I misspelled it; Need more ing the plotline of this film and 111 spend about the journey who would be more properly named Wile E. be said." same amount of time the writers ostensibly did: one Coyote than John Slade. He is literally blown up by paragraph. dynamite (ACME?), crushed by a pile of stone and Phil (Richard Lewis) is a disenchanted surgeon send flying down a cliff — a fall that is ultimately who goes West after killing a patient in the East by "cushioned" by a cactus between his legs. leaving a balogna sandwich in his lung (if that piece There is much anachronistic "humor" in this film, of humor leaves a bad taste in your lung, youTl need indeed transcending decades — all "90's themes a case of Scope to get through the movie). He and presented with '80's bad taste. The most disturbing part of the movie was the There is much portrayal of the homosexual character. Most of the supposed humor supposedly originates with Julian anachronistic "humor" in and his unrelenting fixation on sex with males. Ultimately, though.it is hard to believe that people this film, indeed were laughing at these parts of the movie; it is much more likely that they were chuckling nervously at the transcending decades — bigoted portrayals. Clearly those involved with this project knew it all 90's themes presented would be a flop ahead of time and thus didn't spend any money on the scenery — you wouldn't exactly with 80's bad taste. think cactuses would be expensive. Instead palm trees appear at strategic moments of the Missouri several other "civilized" folk decide that maybe they Crossing and graphics from a video games are used are not suited for the West and decide to head back to capture the night skyscape. easL The group includes a mail-order bride from Much wiU be made of the fact that this was John England, five backwoods blood brothers (as in broth- Candy's final movie. Perhaps for fans of his, senti- ers that like to make each other bleed), a gay book- mentality will be the motivating factor when going to seller and a reformed (reforming?) prostitute. Their see "Wagons East" (can't fathom another one...). (earless wagon master is John Candy, aka John H. Although the movie is problematic, this isone of John Harlo we, who haplessly bu t sincerely leads the grou p Candy's most upstanding and admirable roles, an across the nation. His only shortcoming is thathe led almost bright spot one of the "reindeer named parties" (Donner?) to In conclusion, this movie is a synthesis of The their ill-fate. Roadrunner, bad penis jokes and Young Guns III: the Of course every movie has its bad guys and midlife crisis years. Well, maybe you shouldn't drive NationsBank Student Banking. Keep A Leash On Your Expenses. NationsBank Student Banking can help you keep your college budget under control. 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Visa and MasterCard arc issued by NationsBank of Delaware, N.A. NationsBank of Texas, N.A. Member FD1C. < I MM NationsBank Corporation. ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, AUGUST 26, 1994 11 I CAN'T BELIEVE HE PIERCED THAT Houston Lollapalooza has great start, weak finish BY DAVID HALE Main Stage. 1 dont really remember paganda leaking out from behind their became a powerful, almost seamless day for Houston. Normally, it would much of either set in my search for eyes. By sunset, impromptu trashcans set be much worse. It really wasnt as bad as I had food. I only remeber that StereoLab had been set up by the vendors and The Smashing Pumpkins, the final Oneofthe saddest yettruestresons feared. It really wasn't bad at all wore Mao-ish wide-brimmed straw others made out of empty cardboard group (headliners? — I think not), came from one of the teen-agers crawl- Free water abounded. Parking was hats and the Breeders inspired a mass boxes. But at that point it was too late. emerged on stage almost anti-climati- ing the complex last Friday. easy, as was the drive in. exodus from the shade tents, food Houston Raceway Park was already a calfy. Besides Corgan being pelted "You have to go to Lollapaloza just Except for the trash, Lollapallooza stands and mist booth to the open area morass of trash finally let go out of with shoes (some reference to the so you dont have to tell your children "94 avoided many of the problems from in front of the stage. frustration over searching for the elu- Pumpkins last appearance in Houston 20 years from now that you missed it," last year's Houston fiasco that prob- Last on the Second Stage was sive trashcan. One can only hope that that I missed), the set was fairly said an anonymous red haired woman ably kept tickets to this year's event Shonen Knife, three women from Ja- the people attending the concert are uninspiring. Nice, butuninspiring. We with a belly-button ring. available at the gate while Dallas's two pan who can hardly avoid being de- not blamed for this incredibly stupid left early to avoid the nightmare that shows sold out months ago. scribed as cute. They made me happy. oversight by the promoters. was sure to ensue in the parking lot Perhaps the biggest complaint They made therestofthecrowd happy. The final two acts, the Beastie Boys after the whole thing was over. against Lollapallooza (besides the They were happy. And their almost and the Smashing Pumpkins, rounded Overall, Lollapalooza '94 was a trash) is there is simply too much to nonexistant ability to speak English out the evening well. The Beasties worth wh ile experience, pleasant if no t do and not enough time to do it did not get in the way of great interac- warmed up backstage with a basket- Earth-shattering. Hopefully, the Hous- We arrived at about 1:45 p.m. for a tion with the crowd, especially when ball game with a couple of security ton Raceway Park will invite them start time of 2 p.m., only to discover they told of their trip to Astroworld the people and an audience of Smashing back next year since, except for the the first band, Greenday, already go- day before, "the most fun amusement Pumpkins' lead singer Billy Corgan whole trash problem, it seemed to go Cafe ing strong on the main stage. Fortu- park they had ever been to." and the entire press corps. much more smoothly than it report- nately, they were audible as we passed Unfortunately, catching Shonen The game seemed to run long and edly did last year at the Fort Bend through the security checkpoint and Knife meant missing most of George the crowd grew a little restless, but Fairgrounds. Ultimately, however, my the metal detectors. Clinton, something which may have suddenly the players emerged on recommendation is to see it some- Toque Once in, it was obvious that a tour been, in retrospect, a mistake. Clinton stage and began running the gamut of where else over the summer next year of the grounds was a must, to get has been making funk for longer than music genres from punk to hip-hop to instead of in Houston. It's likely to be familiar with the activities offered. many of the artists and almost all of much cooler, a factor never to be un- funk It could have failed miserably, bistro First came the strangely silent Sec- the listeners at Lollapallooza have been but the move from New York to Cali- derestimated. Over 50 people were an amertcan ond Stage. Evidently the opening band alive. The experience showed. The fornia seems to have brought the best treated for heat related illnesses by for the Second Stage, Pharcyde, didn't buzz in the crowd after his set was out of the Beasties, and somehow it sundown, and it was an unusually cool quite get out of bed in time to make it, obvious: Clinton was the favorite of according to one of the event coordi- the day. nators. I have no idea if this was a loss After the Shonen Knife set the Sec- or not, never having seen them in ond Stage was turned over to a group COME person. Perhaps I never wilL ofTibetian monks who performed tra- The lag time between Greenday's ditional music and dance. Unfortu- premature and fairly short set and the nately, they didnt have much of a taking of the stage by L7 left ample crowd. This was probably much less time to catch the supposed-to-be-sec- their own fault than that of the woman h ond-but-really-first Second Stage act, who introduced them. Dressed in an the Boo Radleys, a band that could unflattering and inappropriate white soon find itself on the main stage. suit, she drilled out a speech she had a Their performance was very strong, performed countless times and at a except they looked like they were volume at least twice that which was going to die after venturing out into necessary for the crowd that was there. v Houston's heat in black suits. Image is She turned people away in droves. everything. Her ineptitude was made all the more Still, their set was good enough tragic by the importance of the cause e that I almost bought a CD — stopped she was supporting, which she hurt only by the fear that something much more than helped. cooler might appear later on in the At this point, food became a prior- eight remaining hours of the festival. ity, and we braced for the worst But breakfast Next came L7, who powered the prices really were not all that bad. through a set that was, well, good. Okay, they weren't cheap, but the $5 Later, I discovered in the media tent burrito was a full meal, as was the gyro Tibetian monks doing the "Black Hat Dance. that L7 bassist Jennifer Finch is one of for the same price. More expensive the nicest people in the music indus- thanTaco Bell, yes, but less than most try as she quietly talked to reporters foodatstadiumsoramusementparks. from everywhere, from the Houston The biggest problem with food, Post to aguy from Sam Houston State. however, was the fact that once done I was too captivated by the amazing with one's burrito/gyro/chicken/tur- tatoo covering her back to say more key leg and thoroughly filled with life- than hello, however. sustaining substance, one was left with After aquick look around the shops, refuse in one's hand. Which is okay, Kapla n S we stopped in on Shudder to Think at except that there was no place to put it SCONES the Second Stage, who,unfortunately, The entire day, we found a total of c BREADS sucked. Back to the Main Stage for A three trashcans in the entire complex, gives you 4 reasons to start E Tribe Called Quest, the hip-hop (not and one of those was in the press tent, rap, as one of the group pointed out) unavailable to all but about 50 of the Poached entree for the day. I really am not 25,000 or so people there. For the first p qualified to critique their work, but it two or three hours everyone seemed training now for the April p was pretty popular. to be carrying around a piece of trash, i Next came StereoLab on the Sec- looking in vain for a trashcan wi^i the driven look of years of anti-litter pro- ond Stage and the Breeders on the MCAT. eggs At Kaplan. \ ou ilon t ha\ c to wait loi oui 111 > 1 v to -:c\ HOURS: I ho MC A I ( )ur learn mi: c\tra> In i|> raiM- \ our H OIV mai> a A Kaplan's Audio/Video Learning Lab giv es v„u access In I lie w orld's largest collectioiVol Ml" \ I practice materials. 3939 Montrose All this lie I ore \ mi even beg in rait i lass sessions! 942-9233 EARLY BIRD CLASS STARTS: Saturday, October 1st In the Museum District Call 988-4700 for more information. Inquire about KAPLAN our private dining loft The answer to the test question. Grunge on Nitrous Oxide from the happiest women on the planet, Shonen Knife 12 FRIDAY. APRIL 22.1994 THE RICE THRESHER ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ONGOING See Some Thing* You Need to Know Before the how about the foot that it's free? Pick up Satelite Lounge at 3616 Washington Ave. World End*, a religious satire featuring a game tickets on Saturdayfromll:30 am to 1:00 pm The show starts at 9:30. of basketball with Satan, at Theater LaB at ths theater. CaN 520-3290. "Fabric of Fashion," an ttxMMtkwi using Houston. CaU 868-7516 for Info and tickets. works from many designer* and decades FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 2 The first North American tour of the work of to show ths variety of materials usod in Priecltta, Queen oftheDeeert, a new film about Dutch artist Pletsr Laurens Moi comes to the The Museum of Fine Arte celebrates 100 clothing, Is at ths Museum of Fine Arts drag queens on a road trip across the dry Contemporary Arts Museum. The press release years of Gaumont, the world's oldest film through Nov. 6. Open daily except Monday, Australian outback, opens at the Landmark helpfully teds us that to understand Ms works, studio. Today can see 190S and 1907 $1.50 for studsnts. Ths museum is Just River Oaks 3. "one does not have to know each intricate fNmms by Alice Guy, who in 1897 become north of campus on Main. CaN 639-7300. layer of meaning." Some of these meaning, by the first woman film director. 8:00 p.m.; $4 This weekend Is your last chance to see The the way, comes from materials like zinc, iron, for students. CaH 639-7515. "Songs of my People," a photo exhibit of Foreigner at the AHey Theater. Call 2288421 and gunpowder. Open dally, $1 for students. today's African-American experience, at for times and tickets. Ths Kerville Wine & the Museum of Fine Arts, opens on SUNDAY, AUGUST Music Festival begins Wednesday and runs through November. 28 Revel In your new Southern home and go see In Kerrvllle, Texas. country biggies Brooks & Dunn with Clay TMs sounds neat: an open house in the Theater That'sabout one hour "The World of Faberge" at the Museum of Walker and Martina McBride at the Cynthia District. Peak backstage at the alley and the on the other side of Natural History in Hermann Park runs Woods Mitchell Pavilion In the Woodlands. You Wortham Center; meet actors, sse costumes, San Antonio for those through September 5. This is your only have to find the place sometime. Call the evil and watch members of the Shepherd School of you not Inthe know. chance to see the famous Faberge eggs in Ticket masters for tickets at€29-3700. demonstrate percussion instruments. There's While it is a bit of a North America. $5. cad 6394629. Check a lot more, too. Moreover, it's all free, and trip (248 miles, to be out the IMAX theater while you're there. Rice people DeSchmog's CD release party at casual attire and cameras are encouraged. 1 exact), the festival Fitzgerald'e. 2706 White Oak, 862-3838. to 6 pm; call 853-8074. London's best play of 1980, Duet for One, runs three days and it •** J* Labor Day weekend runs at the Actors' Theater of Houston on SATURDAY, AUGUST 2 7 Peter Frampton at the Tower Theater. Sure South Blvd. in the Village through sept. 3. aftenl. Trout Fishing he's old. But he's cool. Go see him. Once In America and Brave Student dscounts. Call 5296606. More Rice people at Fitzgerald's when Bee again, the TicketMaster cartel is the only Combo headline. Plus Stung Upe opens for Dah-Veed. Happy music. apparent source of tickets. 629-3700. FRIDAY, AUGUST 2 6 winetastlng! You can even camp at the Tango comes to M ilier Outdoor Theater (across THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER jL Brave Combo, "Dance music with a the street from Rice in Hermann Park) with •9 ranch Itself. Call (210) 257-3600 for vengeance,'' at the Satelite lounge, 3616 Argentinian Pablo Zegnir and the Quartet for The Bkierunners, playing "a highly original infoimatton. Washington. CaH 869C00L. New Tango. If that's not enough reason to go, mix" of rock and zydeco, show up at the Join the Pack at The Timber Wolf Pub Windsurfing Gale for Winds & Wheels $3 Dollar 5935 Kirby Dr., Suite A, Houston, TX 77005 (713) 529-9002 Pitchers of Beer Open 7 days a week!!! (10-8 Mon-Fri; 10-7 Sat; 10-5 Sun) Every Tuesday beginning at 4 pm! Dollar Margaritas Thursday from 4 pm till Close! Your Headquarters for Largest Selection of Bottled and Draft Beer in the State of Texas Bikes, Inline Skates, and Sailboards Parking available next door. Timber Wolf Pub Rentals Available (Inline Skates and Sailboards) Rice Students, Faculty and Staff!!! Bring your Rice ID and receive: 10°% off Accessories, Clothing and Rentals Downtown M — Houston m g Doors open Co 'X S at 4:00 pm 5% Off Bicycles, Inline Skates and Sailboards Oj M in Must be 21 to enter, a Kirby • proper I.D. required. Please present this (Discounts valid only on regularly priced merchandise) m To the Village —> ad at front door. 2511 Bissonet at Kirby Houston, TX • 526-1705 ON ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, AUGUST 26, 1994 13 STAR OF THE CENTURY Clancy, Ford team up in spectacular summer action thriller BY CHARLES KLEIN brute force of Dafoe and the sophisti- cated CIA connections of Ford. Next, Vintage Tom Clancy. That sums you have Chavez (Raymond Cruz). up Mace Neufeld and Robert Rehme's With these four men, you get a strange production of Clear and Present Dan- mix of politics, military and evil that ger based on Tom Clancy's novel of comes off rather well in the theater. the same name. If there is anything that can be Although some newspapers gave criticized in this movie, it has to be the this movie a bad review, I think that small amount of air time that James they just didn't understand the mind Earl Jones gets playing the role of of Tom Clancy and how well Neufeld Admiral Greer. Then again, that is the and Rehme adapted his noveL The way that the book is written. two did an excellent job of represent- The movie does stray from the ing Clancy's ability to weave six differ- book on some scenes, but the overall ent plots in the beginning of the story theme is still the same. If you are a true into a collision course with each other Tom Clancy fan, you will see that the that provides the moviegoer with a persona of Tom Clancy and Jack Ryan classic rising action that explodes on are preserved in the movie even if screen as drug hinchpins fire rocket some of the scenes are molded to propelled grenades and U.S. fighter keep the audience's attention. That is jets drop laser guided missiles. what is important Neufeld and Rehme produced a I think Willem Dafoe would be an military adventure movie in Clear and excellent choice to continue the role Present Danger that ranks right up of Mr. Clark in Without Remorse, most there with their previous productions likely the next Clancy book to be of Flight of the Intruder and the Hunt filmed, because he possesses the hard- for Red October. ened face and personality which are And, of course, then there is presented in Clark's impassioned, but Harrison Ford as CIA Deputy Direc- stoic killing spree. For those who want tor Jack Ryan. Ford, a man who has a realistic military scenario with a top- starred in sue of the most successful flite billing of characters and a riveting movies ever, provides another hit per- and ingenious theme and story that formance. Maybe his wry smile as he only Tom Clancy could formulate, is first introduced is a bit overused, as Clear and Present Danger is the movie a Dallas Morning News critic wrote, to see. Jack Ryan (Harrison Ford) confronts danger head-on as he presents his business card at the compound of Ernesto Escobedo. but this is a man who has been in six of the best movies. He is the National Association of Theater Owners' "Star of the Century." Ford portrays the ethical Boy Scout thatjack Ryan represents with an emo- tional flare. introducing four common- Clancy's Ryan is appealing for his ability to think his way out of a situa- sense combos of useful tion rather than adopt the "shoot first, phone services to help you think later" attitude of most action survive college in the Residential Phone Sen ict heroes. At no point in the movie does Touch-torn he carry a gun, and in many ways, he Nineties. Read the stuff is an "Everyman" character which we Call Waiting • Call net in can replace in our dreams. in the little boxes. Weigh 1 liree-Way Calling When he slams Robert Ritter the possibilities. Then make $2195/month (Henry Czerny), deputy director of operations for the CIA against the an^formed decision. You wall and when he walks up to the door can do it. Years of schooling of drug lord Ernesto Escobedo (Miguel Sandoval), you feel like you should have prepared you are there with him fighting against for this sort of thing. Let's wrongs. Although these acts seem to ft fit the "shoot first, think later" idea, try practicing out loud. "I'd the director stages thenvin such a way like combo number one." . as to show that Ryan is always think- ing ahead, and quick transitions to the Nicely done. "Combo next scenes show Ryan regaining his number two, please." composure. Perfect. Now for the final When Ford is teamed up with 05/month Willem Dafoe as Mr. Clark to fight test. Dial 1-800-464-7928 Felix Cortez Qoaquim de Almeida), and go for it — even if you the movie takes on another dimen- sion. It is no longer just one man already have basic service. fighting a huge army of people with See, isn't college easy? brute force but rather a mix of the Residential Phone Sen ict Touch-tone • Call Waiting Residential Phone Servict Touch-tone • Call Waiting Earn extra Call Return money by $20.53/month distributing the Thresher or inserting inserts. j' Contact Charles Klein, Production Manager '527-4801 a (§) Southwestern Bell Caller ID as priced above displays name and number Display equipment is required Caller ID and must be purchased separately Callers can block their names and numbei from display by dialing 1167 or pressing *67 before placing calls Services desciibed are not available in all areas on all calls Some t; etions nw, ippn Telephone 14 FRIDAY, AUGUST 26, 1994 THE RICE THRESHER SPORTS Rice football ready to take field Who are the losers in a "They can run," he said. "They all "That's what he needed to work on. by Tony Tran had good agility and flexibility; I think His running has been good." they're going to be good." The Southwest Conference is wide baseball strike? The fans The Rice football team began its Hatfield has been impressed with open this year with perennial cham- quest for its third consecutive win- the play of his freshman quarterbacks pion Texas A&M University under ning season with its first practice on who will backupstarter Josh LaRocca. NCAA sanctions. by Tony Tran Monday afternoon. "Byron [Godfrey]is getting better They will be unable to represent every day and Chad [Nelson] has the SWC in the Cotton Bowl and will Baseball has always been one of the purest sports out there. Think shown that he has a strong arm," be ineligible for televisied games. about it: a warm su nny afternoon with 18 players trying to hit a little white Hatfield said. The University ofTexas is favored ball with a stick and then run 360 feet to score a run. The quarterback will be important to capture the league crown. After the In thegloryyearsof baseball, with players like Babe Ruth, Joe Gehrig in Hatfield's offensive set as he will be Longhorns though, there seems to be and Joe DiMaggio, the game was played not for money, but for its own making the decisions on the field. no one else in the conference who can sake. The spread option features the contend for the title. Every spring, millions of youngsters oil up their gloves, put on their quarterback so the team will need The Owls face a pretty formidable caps and head for the playground to play little league. During the strong performances from all three. schedule this year. summer, parents take their chil- "All his summertime workouts are The team faces Tulane University, dren out to the ball game for a paying dividends for him," said Texas Tech University, Texas, South- night on the town. Hatfield of LaRocca. "He's throwing ern Methodist University and Baylor I remember the times when we the ball extremely well." HIT& University at home. all piled into our broken down Another important position in the The Owls take their game on the Volkswagon and headed outto Yan- spread option is at fullback. road to play Kansas State University, kee Stadium It didn't matter that Former Rice head coach Fred Gold- Iowa State University, Texas A&M, we had the cheap seats or that the smith emphasized the single-back set Texas Christian University, the United air conditioning in the car didn't First year coach Ken Hatfield with three wide receivers, so Hatfield States Naval Academy and the Uni- mr/Nwork . Expectations are high for this was looking for someone to step into versity of Houston. I just remember the bright lights, the hot dog and peanut vendors, the group which has finished with 6-5 that position. One player that the Owls will not beautifully-cut grass and the mood of the entire crowd. Nothing can records the last two years, narrowly With Yoncy Edmonds holding a have at their disposal is Bert Emanuel compare to the memories of praying that the team could get the big hit missing out on bowl berths. lock on the halfback spot, sophomore who graduated last year. He was to score a run or how we sat on the edge of our seats while the Yankees Newcomers reported on Aug. 15 Spencer George has emerged as the drafted by the Atlanta Falcons in the tried to hold off a ninth-inning rally. to new head coach Ken Hatfield. The front-runner for fullback second round of the NFL draft This summer though, the magic of the baseball season has been returning players reported the next "We got to the corner a couple of Emanuel was moved to a wide re- interrupted by the third strike in the last decade. The owners and players day. times [on running plays during prac- ceiver position and is expected to be- have cut short the regular season in order to argue about the effect of Hatfield praised his new group of tice] and 1 think I remember him mak- come a starter in June Jones' high- revenue sharing versus a salary cap. players who showed much promise. ing a block or two," Hatfield said. paced offense. The owners want to help the struggling teams by having the teams split the amount of money that they take in at the gate. Small market teams such as Pittsburgh, Montreal, Cleveland and Seattle cannot compete against powerhouse franchises like Atlanta, the New York Women's volleyball poised for big strides Yankees and Toronto. Meanwhile, the players abhor the idea of a salary cap that would Although there are no seniors on Coach Henry Chen is looking at his restrict their earning potential They point out the current problems by Tony Tran this team, it is not lacking in experi- deepest team yet about the salary cap in the National Football League and how some ence. "We have a really balanced team," veterans are forced to take huge paycuts to keep playing. Hie Rice volleyball team is its stron- In addition to Waldron, redshirt he said. "We were very fortunate that The curious part is that there really hasn't been much complaining gest one in years in terms of depth and sophomores Casey Roon and Tobi our returnees came back really strong from the players in the NFL True, there is a salary cap and some balance. The squad is finally ready to Roquemore have recovered from in- and our freshman group is more than problems have come up with teams trying to pay all their players. But break its long Southwest Conference juries and are ready to return. we expected." regardless, the major problems that major league players predict have losing streak. Last year's group of freshmen, The team boasts two pure setters, not happened yet The team is extremely young as Darcy Cruikshank, Rebecca Case, Roon and freshman Carolyn Samecki, The best example is the National Basketball Association. The league there are no seniors on the squad. Led Yuan Yuan Zhang and Jennifer Sloan four pure swing hitters, a back-row was dying earlier because some teams simply dominated the rest of the, by all-SWC hitter Sammy Waldron, have had a year under their belts and specialist, Vanessa Shannon and four teams because of their huge budget After the implementation of the the Ui^rn has set its goals at making is ready to make a big impact pure quick hitters. salary cap, the popularity of the NBA skyrocketed. the playoffs and finishing high in the Throw in this year's set of fresh- Waldron and Sloan have been used But really, does it matter who is right? SWC. men and two walk-ons, and Head as both quick and play-set hitters in Who really sympathizes with people who earn more money in one day Chen's offense. than the average American earns in a year? We, the fans, don't need that The offense is much sharper this kind of stuff. Baseball, like most sports, is an escape for us, a place where year," he said. we can fantasize about hitting a3-2 fastball over the fence fora grand-slam 1994 Women's Volleyball Schedule "We polished upouroffensewhich in the ninth inning to won the World Series. makes it more balanced. They pushed Last year, Toronto's Joe Carter fulfilled that dream with his dramatic themselves really hard in the spring home run in the ninth inning. This year, who will do that? Will there even September workouts." be a World Series to decide? The team does have its work cut Who is the real loser in this battle of egos and dollar signs? Oregon Invitational - Eugene, Oregon out for them, Chen admitted. We are. The sports fans, the rotisserie league players, the little kids University of Oregon 1:00 p.m. "We are very young. Our most even. For all ofus who enjoy a day at the park with our friends and family, University of Tennessee 8:00 p.m. experienced player is Sammy and she we have suffered a deep blow. For all the executive businessmen who Oregon Invitational is only a junior," Chen said. "Our con- enjoy playing rotisserie baseball, their livelihood has been stopped by University of Utah 8:00 p.m. cerns for this team are consistency this strike. Texas Southern University 7:30 p.m. and experience although we do have a For all the little people who look up to today's baseball players as their Rice/ Volleyball Monthly Invitational lot of tkent" heroes by collecting baseball cards, all I can offer is my sorrow and William & Mary 7:30 p.m. The schedule doesn't do the team sympathies. Rice/ Volleyball Monthly Invitational any favors either. From the very start, Who knows whether or not San Diego PadreTony Gwynn will hit .400 Northwestern University 12:00 p.m. the team goes up to Oregon to face the this year? Who knows if Chicago White Sox Frank "Big Hurt" Thomas University of California 7:30 p.m. University of Oregon, the University or Cleveland Indian Albert Belle will win the Triple Crown? Could Greg Southwest Texas State University 7:30 p.m. of Tennessee and the University of Maddux keep up his phenomenal pace and finish with a sub-2.00 ERA? at Iximar University 7:00 p.m. Utah. Wouldn't it be a shame if San Francisco Giant Matt Williams or Houston's Notre Dame Invitational - South Iiend Indiana The year culminates with the very own Jeff Bagwell were denied the National or Major League home Ijoyola Marymount University 10:00 a.m. Southwest Conference Tournament, run record because of this strike? Notre Dame University 6:30 p.m. to be held at Rice's own Autry Court Would the Houston Astros have been able to overtake the Cincinnati Texas Tech University (SWC) 7:30 p.m. Thus, if the team can play well, they Reds to win the Central division? Would the Montreal Expos have will have the home-court advantage continued their great play and hold off the Atlanta Braves in the N L East? October for the tourney. Would my Yankees have won a World Series? Chen though is excited about this Not only that, but what about the players who may have played their University of Texas (SWC) 2:00 p.m. year's squad, perhaps even a little bit last games? Don Mattingly of the Yankees, Kent Hrbek of the Minnesota Texas A&M University (SWC) 7:30 p.m. more than last year's. Twins and Lee Smith of the Baltimore Orioles come to mind. at University of Houston (SWC) 2:30 p.m. "They're tired of losing. This year, I believe that Major League baseball is gambling quite a bit in this L'im.'ir University 7:30 p.m. the conference is wide open," he said. strike. Not only are the owners' and players' salaries at stake here, but so Baylor University (SWC) 7:30 p.m. "For the first time in my four years are the fans. lYairie View A&M University 7:30 p.m. here at Rice, we have a team that is Mike Piazza of the Los Angeles Dodgers was asked about the at Sam Houston State University 7:00 p.m. deep enough and good enough so that consequences of the strike on the fans. at Texas Tech University (SWC) 7:00 p.m. we can make coaching moves." "Sure, they're mad but they always came back," he said. at Texas A&M University (SWC) 7:00 p.m. He believes that although the team What happens to the game if we don't this time? at University ofTexas (SWC) 7:00 p.m. is quite young, it has the talent and the ability to win quite a few games. November "I do believe that this team will surprise a lot of people," he said. "We have one of the most aggressive of- fenses in the country. It will bring lots of excitement for the fans and plenty of points and side outs." Chen cautions that the team can- not expect to change everything in a hurry and that it will take time. "We realize that for us to be better, it won't come overnight They all sac- 18-20 Southwest Conference Championships - Autry Court rificed a lot and we pushed them really Teams and times TBA hard," he said. "The results are obvi- ous; most of our players are in superb shape and stronger than last year." SPORTS THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, AUGUST 26, 1994 15 l Intramural Staff: Usa Widner and David Krolow fire you an ambitious Office location: Upstairs in the gym Office phone numbt. ______„ Announcement Hotline: 5274750 (this is a new service) student lokina for part Sports Representatives: time work with flexible Baker James DeMahy Michele Morgan Mark DeMoss Emily Felling Neelesh Kenia Amy Hassan Brown: Tom Jens Philippa Eltringham hours, good pay and an Jeremy Miller Waverly Ford Hamide Koyuncuoglu Hanszen: Mark Peterman Allison Frazar incredible staff? KimNeuscheler Jones: Nathan Walcott Lisa Ackerman Lovett: Brian Hoblit CaraBoyles Sandeep Reddy Adrienne Meredith Raj Shaw Sid Rich: " JonDonnel Dena Garcia - ' Shoney Katz Amy Ferguson Wiess: > Ken Roberts Esther Julicher CVC has the job for you! ArtTontiplaphol Martha Ocker ManishVira Iibby Stearns Will Rice: James Carson Michelle Chabot Chris Luers GSA: Rich LeHoucq Brenda Melvin Where to get a schedule: Schedules are posted in the colleges and departments. We also stuff all college mailboxes with small wallet-size West University sandwhich shop schedules which are also available in the Intramural office. How to sign up a team: Secure a team entry form in the gym (racks on located at Kirby and Bissonet has the wall across from the equipment check-out window), fill out all of the requested information, turn in the form by the appropriate entry deadline and pick up the schedule in the same gym racks, five to seven days after in-store and delivery positions the entry deadline. How to sign up: Come to the intramural office and sign the entry sheet available for an outgoing team We will need your name and number, your partner's name and number and your college or department Schedules may be picked up five to seven days after the entry deadline. Check the racks for the schedules. player. How to find a team: Read all the flyers and signs in your commons, listen to college dinner announcements, speak to others at any gather- ings to find persons who may be interested in playing a sport Put up a sign for interested parties to call you. Contact your sports representative to help you find a team. Contact Human Resources Dept. How to join a college team: Watch for the sign-up sheets and practice announcements in your college. Contact your sports representatives as at 521-1729 TWo of the most popular bundles on campus tfiis year. m m • mr. r.»;; -"J j: J," • L *• ' M Macintosh Performa 636 4/250. Applf Macintosh Petforma 6% 8/250 with Color Plus 14" Display, A,ppleDesign" CD-ROM, Apple" Color Plus 14" Display, Keyboard and mouse. AppleDesign" Keyboard and mouse. A distinctively fragrant assortment of wool, denim, rayon and poly-cotton blends. Only $1,368.00. Only $1,679.00. Now you can really clean up when you buy a select Macintosh Performa. For research resources. Plus ClarisWorks, an intuitive, integrated package with a spreadsheet a limited time, it comes bundled with a unique new student software set available only word processor, database and more. Buy a select Performa with CD-ROM. and you'll from Apple. Its all the software you're likely to need in college. You'll get software that also get a multimedia library of essential reference tools. And now. with an Apple ^ takes you through every aspect of writing papers, the only personal organizer/calendar Computer Loan, you can own a Macintosh for less than a dollar a A ^^1^ | r created for your student lifestyle and the Internet Companion to help you tap into on-line day. It's the power every student needs. The power to be your best. ilUplt/ thftwh if. For more information visit the Rice Campus Store, located in the Rice Memorial Center 6100 S. Main Street or call 527-4052. Offer expires October 17.1994; mailable only uhiie supplies last ©1994 Apple Computer; Inc. Ml rights resened Apple, the .\pple logo, Macintosh, Performa ami "The pouer lo bc.wur fast are registemi traiiemarks of.ipple Computer, Inc. .IppleDesign it a trademark of.ipple Computer. Inc. CtimsVorks it a registered trademark of Claris Corporation. 'An estimate based on an Apple Computer Loan of (1,549.15for the Performa 6.16, and $188259 for the Performa 6.16 with CD-ROM system shoun abore Prices and loan amounts are subject to change uithout notice See wur Apple Campus Reseller or rerrre sentatirefor current system prices. A 5.5% loan origination fee uill be added to the requested loan amount. The interest rate is variable, baseti on the commercial paper rate plus 5 J5% For the month of August. 1994. the interest rate lias 10 IO\ uith an APR of 11.16% 8-tea r loan term uitb no prepay- ment penalty The monthly payment shouv assumes no deferment of principal or interest. Students may defer principal payments up to 4 years, or until graduation. Deferment mil change rnir monthly payments The .ipple Computer lam is subject to credit ofpvtul 16 FRIDAY, AUGUST 26, 1994 THE RICE THRESHER BACKPAGE CALENDAR Four of the Top Ten "Fat" Politico Studs Monday, • Classes begin. Studying stops. • Pub opens. Aug. 29 • SA Book Co-Op, 1-5 p.m., through Friday Kelley Lounge Wednesday, • First run of Baker 13. To understand why to run, look at the September, 1986, Aug. 31 issue of Playboy under "Girls of the Southwest Conference." Friday, • BakerTG Sept 2 • Wiess Party CLASSIFIEDS Health, Happiness & MONEY! Rap- idly expanding international nutritional HELP WANTED products company looking for associ- After school child care, 2:45-5:45, M- ates in all areas. Excellent opportunity R Need car, valid drivers license, proof to build your own customer base. Part ofinsurance. KTon-smoker. References time/Full time. Call for details. 395- checked. Meyerland. Call 666-0148. 2521. TUTORS WANTED. Learning PC EXPERT WANTED. Part-time Look for these four politicos relaxing at a picnic or at RPC's Studs Night in the Pub on Oct. 25. Squared, a private tutorial service, for communications company. S7 needs tutors in Mathematics, Chemis- hourly. Otherskills needed.First Com- try, Biology, Physics, and French. puter Corporation. 797-1494. Office is close to campus. Good wages. Call 528-7085. Montessori School near Rice needs morning assistant in Toddler class. FAIRFAX J OFFICE HELP NEEDED. Part-time Monday - Friday. Ideal for someone personal assistant needed in physician's with afternoon classes. Call 520-0738 office. 20 hours per week, flexible between 9 and 5. schedule. Ifinterested, please call 664- 7930. PART-TIME: Student to create leads for insurance office. Telemarketing/ Female college student wanted to su- Collections experience helpful. Objec- pervise 10 year old girl. 3-6 p.m. week- tion handling a must! $7 per hour. days. $30/day. Must be anon-smoker Monday thru Thursday 5 p.m. to 9 with a car in good operating condi- p.m. Contact Alan @ 667-8999. tion. Call Michael @ 439-2677. MOTHER'S HELPER NEEDED — HEALTHY MALES WANTED AS SEMEN DONORS. Museum Area Montessori School now Part Time — 3 p.m. - 8 p.m. (variable) interviewing for part-time subs and — to help kids with homework, do Fairfax Cryobank needs young men as semen donors. assistants. Ideal for students with ei- chest physical therapy for a child with • Excellent compensation • Help Infertile Couples • Confidentiality Ensured « ther morning OR afternoon classes. cystic fibrosis, some dinner prepara- To help finish summer program. Call tion. Must have own car and refer • Ages 1 8 to 35 • Call 799-9937 • Helen at 520-0738 between 9 and 5. ences. 523-2480. Work-study Students needed as pro- FOR SALE/RENT jectionists, slide filers, studio assistants, and shop helpers in Art & Art History. LIVE COMFORTABLY DOWN- Apply at the department office, 429 TOWN in a high-rise hotel. Free park- Sewall. ing, fitness. Furnished or unfurnished Worried rooms, private bath, all utilities paid.» BABYSHTER NEEDED for 7-year Special monthly rates: $350-500. Please old boy to be picked up from school at call: 659-2222. 3 p.m. till 6:30 p.m. most days. Meyer Park location. Call: 728-9182/216- FEMALE SEEKING HOUSEMATE. about 2768. Want to share beautiful home with young professional lady. Secure neigh- THE OFFICE OF DEVELOP- borhood, furnished, pool, garage space, MENT is hiring approximately thirty maid service. Close to Rice University, students for Teleftind Ambassador Medical Center and Galleria. All bills Grad positions. Students would be required paid. $395 a month1. No smoking or to work two nights a week (Mon.- pets. Call: 729-3248. Thurs.) from 6:30-9:30, and will be paid $6/hr. starting salary. Ifyou are ROOM FOR RENT in historic Autrey Mansion. Summer or beyopnd. $325. School? interested, pick up an application at the receptionist's desk on the third Free utilities. Non-smokers only. floor of Allen (Center. Applications are Stained glass, hardwood floors, superb due by Sept. 13. If you have any gourmet kitchen, 2 fireplaces, piano. questions, contact Rene Caudillo at Unfurnished/furnished. Tom 529- x4091. 5200, 524-6545 before midnight. Courses filling fast! TUTOR for chemistry and pre-calcu - 2 bdrm, 1 bath, hardwood floors, clean, lus. High school junior needs help one 4-plex with character. South Hamp- to two hours per week. $30 an hour. ton/Montrose Area. VERY safe and West University area. Graduate stu- clean neighborhood. $250/mo. + 1/ GMAT, LSAT,GRE dent with good communication skills 2 utilities. Gabriel 523-5913. preferred. West U area. 666-9693. Moving Out FURNITURE Sale! Con- CHILD CARE WORKER Elemen- temporary/Modern style: $60 Black tary Before and After School Pro- framed double bed, $50 Black chest of THE gram, excellent English required, sal- drawers, $20 Black night table, $175 ary commensurate with experience. Dining table 8c chairs (black w/ glass Susan at Post Oak School. 661 -6688. table top 8c white chair cushions), $50 PRINCETON^®! Coffee table 8c end tables (black w/ Student with car needed ASAP to help glass table tops), $50 Abstract paint- with 11 year old boy's transportation ing. Call Steve 974-4037. All furniture and homework after school Monday is one year old. REVIEW through Thursdays from 3:30-7:00 p.m. Times may vary. Close to Rice. VIVITAR 70-210mm f/4.5-5.6, Pay negotiable. Call 663-7017 or 757- Canon mount; brand new in box .$120 2307. o.b.o.; See Bernie, Wiess 214 or Thresher Office. Graduate student/Mom seeks respon- sible person to babysit 3 year old 8-12 MISCELLANEOUS hours weekly in Rice area home. (Eve- Don't settle for anything but the best. nings /Weekends) Excellent references First Christian Church, 1601 Sun- only. Kendall 521-0871. set, home congregation ofFklgar Odell Lovett; faith and reason together. Sun- Student wanted to work weekday eve- day Services: 10:50 a.m., 6:30 p.m. Call 688-5500 nings babysitting in Memorial area Sunday night supper 5:45, free with (near Chimney Rock). Non-smoker. Rice ID John Cunyus, Baker '84, Min - Hours are 5:00 - approx. 8:00. $6/hr. ister. I'M", I. M I M II S | S| ) \S I ( i \ 1 \(