MUCKSAVAGES

Was sitting in the library in Jordanstown this evening and the following occurred within my sorrounding area. The true names of the mucksavages have been altered to protect their mucksavage identities and have been replaced with other mucksavage names.

The scene - Shona is sitting on a chair at a computer when Dearbhla walks up beside her with her sports bag and camogie stick in tow. They engage in conversation:

Dearbhla - Well girl, whats the craic?

Shona - F**k all, you for training tonight?

Dearbhla - Fuckin right I am. I just came up from the city there now. That useless **** Roisin is still in her bed. She was a fuckin mess last night so she was. I towel her ta get the f**k outta her bed but she wouldnt. Fuckin mess!

Shona - Jaysus, thats wild handlin all together. You for the dinner dance next week?

Dearbhla - Fuckin sures I am. Only thing is, take a look at this.

Dearbhla proceeds to lift her right leg up on to the chair beside Shona. She drops her bag and camogie stick and pulls her tracksuit up to her knee.

Dearbhla - Fuckin legs cut off me! We played those Queens c***ts in a friendly the other week and some wee bitch bate around my leg like f**k. Look at the bruises.

Shona - Dirty bitch. Did ya get her back?

Dearbhla - Nah, couldnt get a howl af her. She'll fuckin know about it the next time. Ill have to go to Ciara's at the weekend to see what she can do with the tan to cover up the bruises. Im stil fuckin rippin bout it.

At this point I swiftly logged off and left the room. Now, by the sounds of the girls Id say they were from the South Derry area. Their language really took me back. A real turn off and the worrying thing is that Jordanstown is full of these types.

Just wondering have any other posters come across these rare breeds? You can really tell the difference between a dainty and refined non-catholic and a hideous mucksavage in the Poly at the moment. Its like chalk and cheese. Its a worrying development for the future of the female kind especially in densely mucksavage populated areas like South Derry, South Armagh and the whole of Tyrone and Fermanagh.

Mucksavagery originated in Carrickmore in the mid 90's, these camogs would head to Belfast where twenty of them would share the same house in Fitzroy Avenue... Tracksuits bottoms, New balance trainers and Carmen jerseys or tracksuits tops were the normal attire, Heading on the rip in shaws after camogie training was the norm where the MS would eye up their talent for the night.. A quick change into a pair of jeans and a top (no Dresses or mini-skirts allowed) was preceded by the walk to the bot, the principal aim in bot was to find a county player/sigerson player/or former McRory star, spend the night torturing him about your exploits at last weeks game, get him to buy you a feed in the nearest chippy and then take him home and make a man of him!!! Mucksavery soon spread and is very popular in every Tyrone village, and parts of South Derry and Armagh

There was a report of a current school coach (female) bursting in the door of her holylands house one night, unaware that there were guests in the front room, she yelled into her roommates as she hustled up the stairs: "well yiz, its only me! What's the craic tonight? Can't stop, be back in a minute, I'm burstin for a wild shite here"

Where do you start with these sorta craics??? The Shaws in it's pomp was some spot for this type of behaviour. I remember in particular one girl who was part of a posse called 'The Shitpipe Roadshow'! They all had a major thing about taking it up the shitpipe though in truth behind all the chat they were the biggest shower of flying V's! They were serious craic though, their leader was completely mangled one day and got chucked out, she managed to get back in through a window about half an hour later wearing a high vis jacket with 'The Shitpipe Roadshow' written across the back of it!! She managed to tan another few pints before getting chucked out again! Later one of the lads landed back to the house to tell us all that some blade was running up and down Magdela St in a high vis jacket with a bread knife in hand asking people to give it to her up the shitpipe!!! They were the days!!

There was a similar young 'lady' who used to frequent the likes of Renshaws and the Bot who took a fella home one night. The story goes that when she took off her "buckme" boots she was wearing her local clubs football socks (I'll keep the club out of it). She then turned round to the fella and said in a broad regional accent ...... "would ye do me up the Shi**er?!!!!

It used to be a massive risk going to the Shaws or Hat on a Wed after the Poly weemens team had a match. There was always the chance of getting surrounded by a crowd of unshowered hallions, most of which you were thinking, "that bitch would give me a quare shoulder" they all look like full backs. (No offence full back).

A doll from Galbally broke my mates bed with her 'buck lepping' (her words)

I remember a girl in my class in Jordanstown from Portglenone she was a rare breed! She was more masculine than 'The Hoff' and carried her camogie stick like a 3rd leg. She looked like an Oompa Loompa with her orange fake tanned head! I had a friend once who will remain anonomous 4 the timebeing and he happened to fall in with one of these mucksavages in renshaws. He had a starting number county jersy on so he was always gonna pick up sum jersy hugger in shaws. Entering her house there was no formalities, it was straight to bed where the fun began. Due to his drinking antics in shaws, he put in the performance of his life, After a while, the mucksavage had to tell him to stop, that it was getting too sore and she left the room. He thought to himself 'f**k this' and retrieved his boxers from the lampshade and pulled on his jeans and just as he was pulling on the jersy again, the mucksavage returned with a tube of lube, assumed the position and said, 'Put in in me ass will ye?' Nice thing

It has gone unsaid for too long. The amount of conversations of a similar nature that i have witnessed at both queens and the poly are too many too mention. By the sound of it, the original poster may well have witnessed a conversation between a couple of females from the Swatragh/Slaughtneil area. The females from this part of the world are Derrys contribution to the world of mucksavagery. They hate each other but inevitably end up marrying men from the neighbouring club. These two are definitely not from Ballinderry - you would know straight away as the conversation would have involved 'Shonas' or 'Dearblas' ridiculous nicknames and the conversation would have to have invovolved the word 'bass,' 'Shayzbugga and black sass' and talk of 'the fudbull.' It is with no pride that i will admit that county Derry has played their role in contributing to the rise of this beast. However, the women of Tyrone and Armagh have taken this behaviour to a whole new level. Their traits are as follows :-

- Inability to leave the door without sporting some kind of GAA based atire - Constant repitition of phrases (wile rip hi, fuckin writ aff etc - Complete lack of manners - Complete inability to converse on any level apart from GAA based knowledge - Exceptionally low standard of personal grooming - Large gunt - inability to apply make up effectively - Obsession with Ladies Football (the growth of which must be seen as a low point in the GAA's proud 125 year history)

This list is by no means exhaustive!

I remember a chap, from Hardstations club, told me he was accompanying a camogie playing mucksavage from Tyrone home one night after the Bot. When he got her into the sack he attempted to ask her was the door locked & was promptly told to "fcuk up and ride"......

Too be honest Ive generally found mucksavage women fridgety enough. One night me and a mate headed back to two girl's houses on Agincourt. He was with the ginger and I was with the chubby chaser. After an hour's interrogation by both on our GAA credentials we started to make headway. My mate told the ginger that he was on the Down U-21 panel and also borrowed one of the actual player's identities for the night. It worked a treat for him as he managed to get up to her room first. I had a bit more work to do so I worked the 'star club player' angle. I told her that I had fallen out with the county U-21 manager a few years previous and that I would never play under him again. I told her that there was big scandal at the time in Down and that everyone in the county wanted me back on the panel. She bought in to it and at about 3.30am we made tracks for her bedroom. Now Im tellin ya, this thing was hideous. thankfully the lights were kept off at all times. She went to her en-suite while I jumped in to her bed devoid of jeans and top. She came back out and went to her drawer and took off her original top and pulled on a Tyrone jersey. Fair enough. I thought she would de-bunk the jeans next but no she jumped in to bed with them on. We started talking and stuff and it was pitch dark so I decided to make my move after about ten minutes. She quickly declined. It sounded like she was sobbing a bit. I asked what was wrong. She goes, 'Look, Im just out of a long term relationship and im not taking it too well.' I drunkenly empathised while attempting to drop the hand again. She declined again. She said, 'You dont understand. I really loved Sean.' I goes, 'Sean who?' She mutters, 'Sean Cavanagh you dick!' At this point she sprang out of bed, went and turned the light on and opened her door. She told me it was time to leave. As the light came on I became aware that her wall was covered in Tyrone posters and about 3/4's of it were newspaper cuttings and photos of Sean Cavanagh. Another glance at her, a cross between Michelle McManus and the Michellin Man, and I knew I was getting a lucky escape. Sean Cavanagh's ex, my arse!

Had an encounter with a mucksavage myself a couple of years ago I was playing a lot of footy at the time so I wasn't drinking and I was standing in the old man's bar in the Bot chatting a few of my mates when a really pretty girl came up to speak. She was offended I didn't recognise her, but I soon copped on it was an old flame from the Gaeltacht years ago! So we were chatting away, and she was getting quite tipsy Inevitably the chat turned to her beloved Tyrone footballers, but sensing I was in wit her, I played along and listened to her talk about ricey this, mugsy that etc etc. Anyhow, she asked me back to her house to 'watc a dvd.' Good enough says me, and like a cat that got the cream, i held er and and led her to a taxi. There was a bit of smooching on the way home (I had to check if te deal was still on!) So we walked up her abode on Fitzroy, into the kitchen, and then she turned on the tv. What was playing but a DVD of Tyrone's best bits! I asked her if she watched it much, and she told me her and her mates always watched it with a carryout before they went to the bot. At this point I motioned to leave, and she started to kiss me However, little did i know that an act of total mucksavagery was about to ensue. We went into the red- and-white-clad bedroom and the lights went off. One thing led to another, and eventually we were ridin' (her words). So there we were, in the heat of the action, and she farts, loudly and proudly with a big cheesy grin. At that point i turned on the lights, put on my jeans and left for home, a scarred man. to be fair unlady like behaviour has been fairly constant for the fours yearsive been in belfast especially back in renshaws where mucksavagery was near enought expected.. i was in the hatfield there in december there just for a few quiet pints expected the place to be sort of quiet there wasnt too many about sitting having the craic there was two girls that could only be described as mucksavages in emyvale tracksuits jumpin about going mad they where over talking to us after a while (well more shouting at us lol) to tell us they where in the ladies football junior ulster final or something or other the day before and they had been on the rip since the middle of the previous day. The two of them then proceeded to start doing juming jack and squats in the middle of the hatfield floor before on of them tried to steal my pint and in the process ended up spilling it there was no apology or offer of a new drink either. Now i think its fair two say that these two could onlybe described as mucksavages. While we are on the subject what is the opinions of woman that drink pints? i would have to say it is by no-means confined to Tyrone Women/Derry/Armagh..two mates from Uni were down in Cork for the weekend. Went down for bit of a rip, kiss the Blarney Stone, etc, etc. Anyway sat night they hit the town and get chatting to two women from UCC - they continuing drinking away having good owl craic with these two (they were loving the northern accent) and the two boys ending up going home with the girls for the night. Anyway my mate ends up in the Room with one of them and whilst one thing led to another she starts blaring out (now imagine this in a Cork 'langer' accent..lol. "Rite none of your Fancy northern shite boy just nail er into me" and as things proceeded she contined roaring out "thats the spot boyo - just nail er in there" we did some laughing when he was telling us the following Monday in class! God i wish i was still at uni!!

He did what he was told and he went back 2 c her 3 or 4 times the next week before she had 2 go on placement or something. Any how, il tell ye another wee yarn. I had a friend from the monaghan area and he was out at the forum. He got chattin to this woman at the bar, not bad lookin, mind u that was at haf 2 after a lotta vodka, but anyway. He worked his way in lightly kissing her on the cheek and eventually onto her lips. His best moves to date by far he told me. They ended up outside and they spotted a dark alley, she led him up it and when they were in the dark, he went 2 kiss her again, and at this point she stopped him, grabbed him by the testicles and told him "stop fuckin about and lob her in2 me boss!!" what a passion killer

I can verify that this story is correct and true Jimmy Joe, I used to share a house with the young lady in question. Thank God as she was wild craic and the other girls were dry as feck and getting in practise for being married!!! Anyway, the same lassie once pinned a friend of mine against a car at the front of shaws on night and propositioned with the immortal line, "If I suck your sausage, will you eat me bacon!" The poor lad was totally traumatised by it, hilarious!! fuckin hell, changed times from my days up in the holy lands where you'd regularly pull a camog or the likes and you'd end up climbing in the scratcher to be met by a set of rosary beads under the pillow and your lady friend getting in with her jeans on. young lads nowadays don't know how easy they get it

Of of my mates took home a MS was night after the bot, we came back to the house a while later and the noise from her was unreal, She must have wakened the whole of Stranmillis!!! Anyway the next day we were slagging about him giving her a good seeing to, where he proceeded to tell us that he was not fit for the big yoke so he got his 15 inches lava lamp beside his bed and thats where the noises started!!!!!

I once was accosted by a current GAA 'star' 's sister in the Bot, when we got back to her house in the holylands, I was bundled into a room and was very quickly put to work! The fact that the curtain didn't fit the window properly and the people across the street had a plain view of my hairy hole bopping up and down like mad didn't take a fidge outta her! I soon discovered that the reason for such haste was that it was in fact not her room, or in fact her house and that she was staying with her friend for the night! The friend had arrived home and was not one bit pleased that she was locked out of her room and was banging on the door telling us to get out so I gathered up my scattered atire and was led downstairs to the spare room where there was a matress on the floor, I'd say the bed was well and truely splintered as this was in April or so! Anyways, the next morning we went at it again and I was instructed to put the batch over her ample breasts and being an obliging kind, I did. Soon after I decided it was time to hit the road and as I was getting dressed I was told "Look what ye done ye b**tard, ye made my fake tan go all streaky!" Just can't win like!!

I mind a bad experience with an MS one nite in the house on Magdela Street, we were having a bit of an after party and the girls from next door all proceeded to cum in in there gaa shorts socks and hoodies that they sprint home from shaws to get changed into... I was sittn chattn to one of them and she sneezed into her hand, but it was one of them nasty follow thru ones, so being the gentleman and expecting her to be embarassed i offered to get a tissue from the bathroom but she promptly replied, 'Nah, horse, dont bother yer hole' and wiped the handful of snot down one of her socks.! And carried on as if she had just coughed or something.

A friend of mine encountered a Waterford mucksavage whilst on holidays in Gran Canaria a few years ago. One dance beside her and she grabbed him and said take me back to your apartment. On arrival she threw herself on the bed whipped down her knickers and said "Oi'd luv a good lickout" in the broadest southern accent. He obliged then while walking her home to her apartment she threw him on a pool table outside Keanes bar in the Irish centre and did the merry deed. She was on top and acted like a cowboy/girl with a lasoo! She was a 'big girl', bloody hilarious when he told us all! one more befor uns head home from work, Legend has it, that a young fellow was walking along a path on his own on the way home from a well known night club. He was confronted by a mega mucksavage, she grabbed him and said ride me or il beat the f**k out of ye. Scared shitless he said, ok. as she ben over and pulled down her knickers he did what came naturally... thumped her and ran like f**k

If anybody is wanting to see some of these fine young fillies in action tomorrow then I suggest a jaunt to the Dub tomorrow afternoon then off to the Bot that night where the real fun will take place! See them in their 'natural habitat'!!!

Bit tame compared to some of the stories on here but...... during the holyland years I was round a mates house when he had his parents up to visit. Being the gentleman he made everyone a cup of tea (including the 'ladies' he shared the house with), brought it all out and was having a very civil conversation with his ma when the MS from upstairs spat her tea on the carpet with the ladylike " F**k me that tay's as weak as my hymen"

I see things havent changed much in 25 years..when I was in Coleraine in the 80s the Camogs were nicknamed the Trogs....f**king monsters they were...I remember when we were training casting envious eyes towards the Hockey girls training on the all weather pitch beside us with their tanned legs and pert "everythings"....then we went to the Union afterwards and we had our pick of the Ashbourne Cup contenders....

Post bot one night ended up back at one of the aforementioned mucksavages house a bit the worse for wear. End up back in the bedroom . I'm stronger than you she says. She then proceeds to try and wrestle me to the floor. Not ina sexual kind of way, in a wrestler kind of way. Now while I could have got further I'd say I made my excuses and left... Give me your phone number she says as I'm at the front door making my excuses. I make some more excuses and the door gets slammed in my face. Worst thing was I got full again about a month later and pretty much the same scenario occured!! Have not seen or heard of that girl to this day...

When we lived on Agincourt St back in the day there was a house full of savages next door to us. For a few months you just heard the odd "bi f**k" or "wile f**king craic all the gether". One night they ended up in our house and one of the lads got a MS up to his room he shared with one of the other lads. In the morning the other lad got up out of his pit and was pulling his Tipp jersey on when he noticed it plastered in blood (don.t worry this isn't going where you think!). Apparently the doll was on top giving it plenty when she let out a big "Holy f**k hi" and when he looked up the blood was pishing out of her nose. Being the girl she was she never dropped a stroke and just cleaned it on the nearest thing to hand! You can't buy class.

Knew a girl in college who was known to the footballers as 'The Penis Shed' because she was handy (apparently, didn't go there myself) to park your willy in on a cold winters night. Another girl was known as Francie because she was mad after one of the hurlers and she marked him so tight on nights out that she was doing a Francie Bellew on him

A mate of mine (honest) was with this Tyrone girl in Coppers the night before Mayo played them in the 04 quarter-final. She was nice enough looking but was a mucksavage in attitude and language. Getting on grand anyway, talking loads of shite about football and he'd be a fan of Tyrone in a way so they'd plenty of common ground. Anyway they got it on and she asked him back to her hotel room. So off in they went. Got a taxi and she started talking football again. Your man didn't want to hear about football at this stage, was only one thing on his mind, but he kept going, no point dropping the ball now. She said that Peter Canavan was the best footballer in the history of the game. This is where he f**ks up. Instead of agreeing he went with the following approach. 'Ah he's the best I've ever seen but I'm only 22. My uncle is following football for years and he reckons no one will ever touch Jack O'Shea, so its hard to know really'.

'Stop' she roars out at the taxi driver. 'Get out of the fuckin taxi you ignorant ****' and our buck is left in the middle of Rathmines having learnt the Golden Rule. When a Tyrone mucksavage is bringing you back to your room, Peter Canavan is God on earth for the next few hours. He did some cursing at Canavan the following day during the match!

For all the doubters who fail to beleive in the modern mucksavage woman, take today off work and immerse yourself in their culture. A QUB v UUJ Sigerson Cup day is up there with their wedding day and the likes. They'll start off gulderrin' at the game while the smarter ones will be eyeing up the talent on the pitch including the subs. After the game, some of the desparate ones will make their way on to the pitch to introduce themselves to potential targets. Its then down to Spuds for a feed followed either by a lock of jars in the Hatfield or a carryout back at the house. After all the drinkin they'll spend about 10 minutes getting done up and then its up to the Bot. What happens in the next few hours has to be seen to be beleived.

Speaking of the one i know. I remember how you had to watch out for her on a night out. On a night out on the rip once back at an after party in teh holylands a mate (a sigerson and county player) went up to his room to k.o. Next i notice the ms herself has dissapeared. I think its time to intervene, go up to check out the situation and see she has alid herself in the bed beside him. I wake him (he already asleep) up, yes was woke up to my mug but better to wake up to that than the big ms and her mucksavagery. He was very greatful.

Lame enough story here but just also to illustrate the type of mucksavagery that goes on. My mate texted last night to tell me about takin 1 home, doin the business 'on the 1st nite' tut tut, woke up the next mornin and she was in the livin room wearin his football kit and beggin all the lads in her house to go out 'on the rip' with her 'for the cure'. Another example of a classy chick!

"mucksavagery" Suppose this lady could be classified as one (approx 1997) Housemate took a female home, done the business, she fell asleep he came down the stairs and was replaced by another housemate who woke her and who performed the needful. She woke up on her own the next morning - everyone had skit to class. She found out 1 year later in renshaws one day via a friend - she pretended she never knew and was extremely cross. did not seem to bother her a week later when she was sitting next to us.

Another wee story from a few years ago, I had a friend (no not me) who was on the antrim u21 team, and he was in shaws, and came across a well known down mucksavage. She usually only took interest in boys wit down jerseys but on this occassion she settled for the antrim man. Taking her home there was no messin about it was straight to it. He was pleased with the length of time he was lasting and things were going well, until mid action she turned around from the doggy style position she was in and said, "u antrim boys have sex like uns play football, uns arent the biggest or the best but uns have fuckin stamina"

Most of ya are man hoors...disgusted with ya. Taking advantage of rather heavy women whilst not in a fit state

I mind being in the halls in Jordanstown in a double room with two lovelies from tyrone - they actually were lovelies and seeing a mate of mine from ardboe walk past the door with a mucksavage who went by the name of "SLIGO". After twenty minutes I realised what was going to happen and went banging on her door - he came to the door with no shirt on and I convinced him for about 10 minutes to get the hell out of there - he eventually did and went home. Next morning about 9 he was knocking on my door thanking me for saving him from a HUGE mistake

In an overheard conversation, this fella was giving out to a muck savage because he thought they were only going with each other (I know!) but apparently she had other ideas. He was giving off to her saying: "You were fuckin riding the country during the summer there" The MS proceeded to bounce up and down as if preparing for a good ruckus whilst saying: "So what if I was? So what if I was?" Location: Bottom of the steps of Shaws of course.

There'll be some smell in it. No doubt a pile of muck savages (pl. muck savii) that went out last night, got up at 1 today and went to the match. Straight to Hat before staggering up the road to their houses singing songs like a crowd of football thugs, then putting a bit of spray on and venturing to the Bot. Request for more bouncers would be needed, not for the chance of Queens and Poly meeting but for the outrageous number of muck savii that will pile in tonight. Any new muck savii will get an eye opening tonight as to how to become the ultimate MS.

Just back from the dub where i have discoverd that Mucksavagery has taken over Belfast, every shape and size was there... we seen three girls walking with o'neills hoodies, tracksuit bottoms, football boots and wait for it- football socks pulled up over the tracksuit bottoms. One of the girls was carrying a Carrickcruppen bag!!! I would imagine the Poly team will get some torturing tonight, Big packie should be fit for at least three MS

Was thinking of a quiet night but might throw a few jars in me and head to the bot and witness this... maybe even get involved depends on how much I have!!

I don't care if she was running in the Gold Cup at the weekend! There is no excuse for a 'Lady' to be in that get-up. Ever! The worst kind of slack jawed thunder thighed mucksavage

Seen a couple of them myself hey, was with a few of the boys and started laughing away and they were wondering what I was laughing at. However in saying that, there were some fine looking women there also! Some breaking ball tonight around the Botanic Inn! (IF you can get any of it off the "stars"?) next sunday in the hat or mon be the ideal day for an ms then i would say. mind was in 4 an early drink in shaws couple years back the ranch, poly and qub gals in with their ms attire taking it in turns to sing songs at eachother after 2 wkd.clean poison!

Just read on another site that the lovely ladies of Slaughtneil camogie club have won The Irish News/Break For Ball weekend away in Wicklow(I think), this weekend away with at least 25 female halions on the loose, has the potential to bring out the best of the 'mucksavage' in them.

Not a word of a lie but this is the gospel truth. I know because I happened to be in the house at the time in Agincourt. This would have been a favourite wrecking house with MS and the male equivilants in the late 90s. After a night in Of Your Face there was a gathering in this house when 2 girls from Fermanagh entered the proceedings. Quickly they tagged onto whoever played football in the house and the lads fed them a few porkies to be in with a chance. One of the lads had a county final jersey in his wardrobe so him and his mate set of to get it. They came up with a plan that one of them would stay in the wardrobe if the other bedded one. Now having a county final jersey meant that one of them was sorted so the other hid in the wardrobe. The MS insisted she wore this jersey when the business was being done. After 15 or so minutes of a rumble the lad in the wardrobe burst out laughing to which the MS shouted "come out of there, get stripped cause like Crossmaglen we are going with 2 inside!" The 2 lads nearly wet themselves laughing for about 10 minutes before doing what she asked. They had a great night and 3 fell asleep in the bed. The next morning the two lads woke with the mucksavage AND the county final jersey gone. The next time they seen jersey or mucksavage was 7 years later in a Sydney bar. One asked her how she got the jersey to which she replied " I used to go out with such and such when I was at college. We liver together for a year." The said bloke plays county football but funnily enough was never at Uni in Belfast

Ok so we have all seen the list of what culchies love, now what about a list of what mucksavages love. Reading through this enitre thread we should be able to compile a fairy good tabloid of what makes this species tick. Here goes, feel free to add in case i miss anything:

Mucksavii love:

1) ONeills tracksuits bottoms 2) GAA Fleeces 3) GAA jerseys (preferably county ones from a male county player although their poly/queens jersey can suffice) 4) the Hatfield 5) Renshaws 6) The Bot 7) All day rips in any of 4,5 & 6 A good rrriddin session 9) Senior County players 10) Ex McCrory / Hogan Cup players 11) Ex County minors 12) Going for the cure 13) Carrying Camogie sticks 14) Inter vocational / county / club / college football bags 15) Jordanstown 16) Queens 17) Cursin' 18) Football field fights 19) The Holylands 20) Doggy Style rriddin' 21) Not showering after an all day rip and heading straight to either 4,5 or 6 22) Training and then going on the rip 23) The Ranch 24) Fat Frogs 25) Saying 'LAD' in a butch lesbiany type way in mid sentence, Eg Jesus lad I had a while pain in me whole the day 26) cans of beer 27) House parties 28) Singing songs like ogie ogie ogie, we are red we are white we are fuckin dynamite, hills of donegal, Sean South. 29) Dancing like idiots, ie loud manly claps whilst jumping around on one spot following by punching the air when the chorus of the 'Hills of donegal' hits. 30) All wearing the same GAA polo shirts on a night out

lads i was in uni in scotland and the mucksavages travel, multiply and act worse.they think that acting the mucksavage together makes them more irish away from home. one of my mates was with a girl who threw him into the room and practically raped him. she was stinking, threw him on the bed, pulled off his trousers and got on top and gave your man no option. he was scared shitless

I would extend that to all of Armagh without any hesitation and Monaghan and Louth can definately be included also. When I was at UUC the amount of Armagh and Monaghan students was unreal. and the one thing I would say about them was that the vast majority (but not all) were absolute bomb scares and many an Armagh or Monaghan hallion could be found in the Anchor or Kellys. The Monaghan Girls were worse and were as unlady like as I have ever come across. I remember being at a party once after Kellys where the house was pretty packed and in the midst of it all 2 rather large Monaghan girls standing near me and my woman, were discussing having (and I quote) "A while Itchy Fanny" and reckoned they had "caught something of them 2 boys we rid from last night". I nearly threw up over the place. There was also this complete bomb scare of a mingbot from somewhere in Louth I think it was called Hack balls Cross (or at least thats what it sounded like in here horribly thick red kneck accent) This girl was friendly with some girls I was friendly with so I used to run into her at parties and nights out. If a carry out was being consumed she loved nothing better than to pin a drink in one go and then lean over to the nearest person and do a massive rift in their face and then say "beat that if you can you f**ker" this same girl was also a walking fart machine and would just let rip anytime she felt like it no matter who she was with or where she was. In hindsight she was a particuarly hideous Human being. these creatures are not only rampant in Belfast when they cut loose from their ma's and da's. They also do their damdest to pursue any footballer with a heartbeat 'around the doors'. I could name a few working within the derry club scene! Jersey huggers.... aka absolute doses

St Patricks Day...... The ultimate day for Mucksavages. The holylands is full of them that day. It's their Xmas/Birthday/ All Ireland final rolled into one.

One well known MS from a grouping calling themselves the Palestine Street Elite came out with a few stomach churning statements this week. Whille shoveling a bag of steak mc coys into her mouth, her stomach made a rather large grumble. This was followed up with "Jaymus bai, i need a wile big shite" Monday night in the scratch was quite hectic and the que for the ladies toilets seemed like too much hassle for this MS. Therefore she decided to tell the bouncer she had to make a phonecall and preceded to slip in the bushes across the road and do the business. As a consequence of an all day rip on Tuesday this MS was not feeling to well and vomited into her drink. While most people would feel embarressed, make their excuses and leave, this MS decided to turn a unfortunate situation into a positive one. She declared that if everyone in the room bought her a double vodka in the hat she would swallow her vomit. Everyone agreed...... and then down the hatch in one I myself was in the Bot last night and I must say there was some fine looking ladies in attendance. None-the-less there was the odd beached whale lying up on the couches drooling all over some insanely drunk fellow. The corner with the poker machines seen quite a bit of MS's in action as well

One story I heard up in the Holyland was this lad from Ballygawley who pulled one night in the Bot, got her into his room and she teabagged him. I don't know what went wrong but he couldn't walk straight the next day!

Found this interesting story on RTE Farrell warns of Mucksavvi epidemic GAELIC Players Association supremo Dessie Farrell has issued an urgent warning to all inter-county footballers of a clear and present danger to their well-being and state of mind. Speaking about the mucksavvi plague sweeping the nation where portly females, also known as jersey- huggers, swoop in on footballers, Farrell says it is inter-county stars who are most at risk with a range of consequences affecting both the body and the ego. "These wild, uncontrolled women like nothing better than to tear a footballer to pieces in the bedroom, in much the same way as Francie Bellew might do on the field. Their aim is quite simple - the higher profile a footballer you are, the greater your attraction to these mucksavvi. If I was Sean Cavanagh or Benny Coulter, irrespective of the fact that he's ginger, I would not go out unaccompanied, particularly in areas of Belfast where the epidemic seems to be most out of control." If caught and lured home by a mucksavvi Farrell has the following advice for victims. "Firstly insist on going on top as the reverse can lead to career threatening injuries and keep an eye on your county jerseys or else the mucksavage will have taken that, along with your pride but preventative measures can be taken such as not wearing any Gaelic football paraphernalia. You might as well wear a big bullseye on your chest if you don a Tyrone training top." Well known establishments like The Bot in Belfast and Copper Face Jacks in Dublin are no go areas for inter-county players trying to avoid mucksavvi and going to any of these places after a big game is asking for trouble says the former Dublin footballer. Farrell also points out that it's not just inter- county stars who have to be mindful of the mucksavvi plague. "While a typical mucksavage may go out with intentions of 'persuading' the Cavanagh's and Coulter's of this world, their targets may sink if their night has not been a success. Therefore we're asking all county players to be vigilent. Even if you have only played O'Byrne Cup or McKenna Cup or whatever, you may well come into the mucksavage's sight close to chucking out time." Farrell has also asked for an increase in players grants to make allowances for the measures they have to take to avoid the mucksavvi. Taoiseach Brian Cowen was unavailable for comment when contacted last night while Northern Ireland Sports Minister Gregory Campbell dismissed the appeal as 'typical whinging from themmuns'. If you have been affected by this story, the GPA have set up a counselling service and further details can be found at www.stayclean-saynotomuck.ie