THE MAGAZINE OF- fantosv AND Science Including Venture

The Secret Songs 5 The Golden Flask KENDELL F. CROSSEN 15 Salmanazar GORDON R. DICKSON 19 · The Voyage Which Is Ended DEAN MCLAUGHLIN 27 Mumbwe Jones FRED BENTON 40 The Top GEORGE SUMNER ALBEE 43 Science: The Light Fantastic 53 Books 64 Fruiting Body (tJovelet) ROSEL GEORGE BROWN 71 :rhe Roper (verse) THEODORE R. COGSWELL AND JOHN JACOB NILES 88 Spatial Relationship RANDALL GARRETT 90 The Stupid General J• T. MCINTOSH 99 What Price Wings? H. L. 110 Paulie Charmed the Sleeping Woman 116 The Gumdrop King WILL STANTON 121 Ferdinand Feghoot: LIII GRENDEL BRIARTON 126 Editorial 127 In this issue ... Coming soon 4 F&SF Marketplace 129 Cover by Ed Emsh (illustrating "The Secret Sotzgs")

The 11-l.rga::ine of Fautasy and Science Fictiou, Volume 23, No. 2, Whole No. 135, Allfl. 1962. Publislred monthly by Mercury Press, Inc., at 40t a copy. Annual subsaittiv11 ¥4.511 in U. S. a.•t! Possessiou~, $5.00 in Canada and the Pan American Unfou ,: $5.50 sn ,,l/ other cou11trus. Publrcatton office, 10 Ferr;y Sfl·ect, Co11cord, N. H. Ed1torral a11d ge11rral tnail should be se11t to 347 East 53rd St, Ne-.v York 22, N. Y. Secoud Class postage paid at Concord, N. H. Printed in U. S. /1, © 1962 by Mercury Press, lttc. All rights, including tra~rslations into other languages, rest;n:ed. Snbn&issious must be accom· pa11ied b)• stamped, self·addressed envelopes; the Publisher assumes. no respollsibilil)' for return of unsolicited manuscripts.

Joseph W. Fcrmall, PUBLISHER Avram Davidso11, EXECUTIVE EDITOR Ro/>crt P. llfi/ls, CONSULTING EDITOR Edward L. Ferman, MANAGING EDITOR Isaac Asimo"<', CO:STRIBUTING SCIENCE EDITOR In this issue ...

. . . arc, by our count, five straight Science Fiction stories, five straight stories, and three stories of Science Fantasy. It is impossible to classify fiction with even the approximate accuracy of an egg-candler, and no doubt many of you would not only come up with a different count but would deny that some of the stories belong in any of these categories; thou art free-GORDON R. DICK­ soN, a master of definitive SF, is here with definitive F; so is HARLAN ELLISON, SO is newcomer FRED BENTON, and the seasoned THEODORE R. COGSWELL; while DEAN MCLAUGHLIN and RAND­ ALL GARRETT present unquestionable space travel SF for your self­ improvement and amusement. So far, so simple. But in which category go the very special FRITZ LEIBER story, KEN CROSSEN'S scientific variation on a fantastic theme, ROSEL BROWN's curious discourse on fungus and female? Fortunately, it is more important for us to publish than to label them. But why label at all? For one thing, because we aim at keeping a certain preponderance of SF in The 1\fagazine, experience having taught us that readers prefer it so. "Give us stories of real Science Fiction," they write; "with a strong story line, vigorously believable characters, and lots of action. When you have done that," they say, "give us some good Fantasy­ , , Tolkien, T. H. White, , L. Sprague deCamp, and names like that. This is what we would like," they conclude. To which we reply, "So would we." From time to time, we can promise, some of these names will appear here, though not so often as we would like. There is a wry but pleasant tale of a young soldier who deserted the British Army when the Revolutionary \Var was over, and settled in the United States. Until he was close to a hundred he used to appear at Fourth of July celebrations, and make the same brief remark. "I fought hard for this country," he would say; "-hut I didn't get it."

Coming soon . . .

. , . in fact, next month, is our special THEODORE STURGEON Issue, with a special cover by ED EMSH, special articles on The Master by and , and a special story by Himself. 4 Burton, De Quincey, Waugh, Huxley, and others have ex· plored areas of the world through which Fritz Leiber (drama· tic actor, motion picture star, gentleman, and beloved com· panion of those fortunate enough to number him among their friends) now takes us on an expedition; but none of the above, in their reports, have excelled the beautiful, frightening, heartwarming, and haunting details of


by Fritz Leiber

PROMPTLY AFTER SUPPER, BE· tall young cowpoke, father and fore Gwen had cleared away the son, were gazing out across broad dishes, Donnie began the Sleep acres framed bv distant .:noun· Ritual. He got a can of beer from tains. Gwen tu~ed her ears and the refrigerator, selected a science­ after a bit she could faintly nalways on your per­ gasoline and banana oil, leaped to son. It's a psychic whistle by which the comers of the half-merged liv~ you can snmmon me at all times. ing room and kitchen. Gwen mo­ All you have to do is concentrate mentarily wrinkled her nose. on me, son. Concentrate . . . Donnie mixed the paraldehyde There was a courtroom scene on with the grapejuice and licked the the TV screen. A lawyer with spoon. "Here's to the druggists and friendly eyes but a serious brow the one understanding doctor in was talking quietly to the jury, ten," he said and took a sip. resting his hand on the rail of the Gwen nodded solemnly and box. Gwen had her ears fine-tuned swallowed another benzedrine tab­ by now and his voice synchronized let. perfectly with the movements of Donnie transported his cocktail his lips. back to the armchair with great THE FRIENDLY LAWYER: I care and did not take his eye off have no wish to conceal the cir­ the purple drink until he felt him­ cumsta1zce that my clte12t met her self firmly anchored. He found his husband-~be while they were place in the science-fiction lead both patients in a mental hospital. novelet, but the print began to slip Believe nze, folks, some of life's sideways and so, as he sipped his sweetest romances begin in the nut stinging drink, he began to im­ htn4se. Gwen's affection inspired agine the secrets the Wise Old Don to win his release, obtain em~ Crock might tell him if he were ployment as a precision machinist, the young man on the cover. offer my clie1zt marriage upon her THE WISE OLD CROCK: Got release, a11d shower her with love a hot trip shaping for tonight, son. and t1ze yellow health-tablets, so Three new novas flaring in the necessary to her existence, which next galaxy southeast-by-up and you have watched her consume dust cloud billowing out of Andr~ during these weary days in court. meda like black lace underwear. Needless to remark, this was be~ (Dips in his purse.) Drop this sil~ fore Don Martin began traveling iu ver sphere i11 ytn4r pocket, son. space, where he came under the ln- 10 FANTASY AND SCIENCE l'ICTIUN fluence of (suddenly scowls) a cer­ the bread crumbs from the supper tain greeJZ crocodile, who shall be table, but she got to studying their referred to hereinafter as Exhibit pattern and ended by picking them A. Enter it, clerk. up one by one-she thought of It Donnie rose up slowly from the as a problem in subtraction. The armchair. His drink was finished. pattern of the crumbs had been He was glaring at the TV. like that of the stars Donnie had "The Old Crock wouldn't be showed her, she decided after­ seen dead looking at junk like wards, and she was rather sorry that," he cried thickly. "He's wired she'd disturbed them. She carried for real-life experience." them tenderly to the sink and deli­ Donnie was half of a mind to cately dusted them onto the cold kick in the picture tube when he gray dishwater, around which a looked toward the bedroom door­ few suds still lifted stubbornly, way and saw the Wise Old Croco­ like old foam on an ocean beach. dile standing in it, stooping low, She saw the water glass and it re­ his silver purse swinging as it minded her to take another benze­ dangled from his crested shoulder. drine tablet. Donnie knew it wasn't an halluci­ Four bright spoons caught her nation, only a friendly faint green eye. She lifted them one by one, film on the darkness. turning them over slowly to find Fixing his huge kindly eyes on all the highlights. Then she looked Donnie, the Wise Old Crock im­ through the calendar on the wall, patiently uncurled a long tentacle studying the months ahead and all toward the darkness beyond him, the numbers of the days. as if to say, "Away! Away!" and Every least thing was enor­ then faded into it. Donnie fol­ mously fascinating! She could lose lowed him in a slow motion like herself in one object for minutes Gwen's underwater ballet, shed­ or let her interest dart about and ding his shoes and shirt on the effortlessly follow it. way. He was pulling his belt from And it was easy to think good the trouser loops with the air of thoughts. She could think of every drawing a sword as he closed the person she knew and wish them door behind him. each well and do all kinds of won­ Gwen gave a sigh of pure joy derful things for them in her and for a moment even closed her mind. A kind of girl Jesus, that's eyes. This was the loveliest time of what I am, she told herself with a all the night, the time of the Safe smile. Freedom, the time of the Vigil. She drifted back into the living She started to roam. room. On the TV a bright blonde First she thought she'd brush housewife was leading a dull bru- THE SECRET SONGS 11 nette housewife over to a long THE DU:LL BRUNETTE: couch. Gwen gave a small cry of Did they give you electroshock? pleasure and sat down on the Boor. THE BRIGHT BLONDE: This show was always good. Think happy thoughts. What do THE BRIGHT BWNDE: you do for kicks? Are you on ben­ What do you feed your husband nics too? when he comes home miserable? THE DULL BRUNETTE: THE DULL BRUNETTE: No. (Her face grows slack and Poison. subtly ugly.) I practice witchcraft. THE BRIGHT BLONDE: Gwen switched off her ears and What do you feed yourself? looked away from the screen. She THE DULL BRUNETTE: did not like the thought that had Sorrow. come to her: that she had some­ THE BRIGHT BLONDE: how planted that idea about witch­ l keep my spirits bright with ben· craft in the brunette's mind. It was zedrine. Oh happy junior high I months since Gwen had let herself THE DULL BRUNETTE: think about witchcraft, either What was happy about it? I had white or black. acne. There came a long low groan THE BRIGHT BLONDE: from the bedroom, adding to (bouncing as they sit on the Gwen's troubled feeling because it couch): You mean to say I never seemed too much of a coincidence told you how I got started on ben­ that it should have come just after zedrine? I was in junior high and the word witchcraft had been spo­ unhappy. My mother sent me to ken. the doctor because I was fat and DONNIE was twisting on the at the foot of my class. He gave me bed, going through hell in his some cute little pills and zowie!­ dreams. The Wise Old Crock had I was getting slim, smart and gid­ abandoned him in a cluster of dy. But pretty soon they found I dead stars and cosmic dust on the was going back for an extra refill far side of the Andromeda Galaxy, between refills. They cut me off. I first blindfolding him, turning struck. Uh-huh, little old me called him around three times, and giving a lie-down strike. No more school, him a mighty shove that had sent I said, unless I had my pills. If him out of sight of whatever as­ the doctor wouldn't give them to teroid they had been standing on. me. I'd forage for them-and I Floating in space, Donnie went did. Two years later my mother had through his pockets and found me committed. If I hadn't become only a Scout knife and a small sil­ a TV star I'd still be in the Loony ver sphere and black cylinder, the Bin. purpose of which he had forgotten. 12 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION A cameo-small image of Gwen's ing that in the long run it would face smiled at him from the sphere. be best to know the worst. He looked up. Worms twenty feet THE THINGS FORECAST­ long and glowing duD red were ER: A witchcraft high is moving undulating toward him through dount from Western CantJda. Were­ the dusty dark. He had an intense wolf warnings have been posted in sensation of the vast distance of three states. Government planes the Earth. He made swimming are battling the black front 'With movements only to discover that a white radio rays, but they're being cold paralysis was creeping through forced back. Old folks tt'ho ought his limbs. Eternities passed. to know say it's the end of the GWEN had got out her glue and world. (Scans sheet handed him glitter and sequins and had spread by page girl.) Flash from outer newspapers on the table and was space! Don Martin, famed astro­ making a design on a soup plate naut, is facing nameless perils in that she hoped would catch the Lesser Magellanic Cloud! something of the remembered pat­ DONNIE had just blown tlte tern of the bread crumbs. The psychic whistle, having remem­ idea was to paint with glue the de­ bered its use only as the red worms sign for one color of glitter and began to spiral in around him, and then sprinkle the glitter on it, the Wise Old Crock had appeared knocking off the excess by tapping at once, putting the worms to the edge of the· plate on the table. flight with a shower of green sparks Sprinkling the glitter was fun, but flicked from the tip of his right­ the design was not develoying hand tentacle. quite the way she ·wanted it to. THE WISE OLD CROCK: You Besides she had just discovered that passed the test, son but don't pride she didn't have any red or gold glit­ yourself on it. Some night we're ter, though there were three bottles going to give it to you without of green. Some of the green glitter paraldehyde. Now it's time you re­ stuck to the back of her finger turned to Terra. Think of your where she had got glue on it. home planet, son, think of the She stole a look over her shoul­ Earth. Concentrate . . . (They der at the TV. The two women are suddenly in a thousand had been replaced by a large map miles above North America. The of tbe United States and a rugged larger cities gleam dully, the moon young man wearing glasses and is reflected in the Great Lakes. holding a pointer. The first word Donnie has become a green-scaled she heard told her she wasn't go­ being a head shorter than the Wise ing to like it, but she hitched her Old Crock, who weaves a tentacle chair around just the same, decid- majestically downward). Observe TilE SECRET SOJI;GS 13 the cities vf men, my Son. Thin1c THE GORGEOUS PRIEST: of the millions sleeping and dream­ The psychology of Donnie and ing there, lonely as death in their Gwen must be clear to you by now. apartment dwelli1zgs and all hating Each wants the other to sleep so their jobs. The outward appear­ that he may stand guard over lzer, ance of these men-beings may hor­ or she over him, while yet adven­ rify you a little at first, but you turi1lg alone. They have found a have my word that they're not formula for this. But what of the fiends, only creatures like you and future? What of their ? Drugs me, trying to control themselves are no permauent solution, I can with drugs, dreads, iucantations, assure them. What if the bars of ideals, self hypnosis and surren­ the Safe Freedom should blow der, so that they may lead happy away? What if o11e uight one of lives and show forth beauty. them should go out and never come GWEN was looking intently in in? the living-room mirror, painting DONNIE and the Wise Old evenly-spaced bands of glue on her Crock were hovering just outside face. The bands curved under her the bedroom window three stories eyes and outward, following the up. Friendly trees shaded them line of her jaw. She painted anoth­ from the street lights below. er band down the middle of her THE WISE OLD CROCK: forehead and continued it straight Goodby, my Son, for a11other down her nose. Then she closed night. Use your Earthly tenemeJZt her eyes, held her breath, lifted well. Do not abuse your powers. her face and shook green glitter on And go easy on the barbiturates. it for a long time. At least she DONNIE: I will, Father, be­ lowered her face with a jerk, shook lieve me. it from side to side, puffed out THE WISE OLD CROCK: through her nostrils what breath Hold. There is mze further secret she had left, and inhaled very vf great consequence that I must slowly. Then she looked at herself impart to you tonight. It e.oucems again in the mirror and smiled. your wife. The green glitter clung to her face DONNIE: Yes, Father? just as it had to her finger. THE WISE OLD CROCK: A feeling of deadly fatigue She is one of us/ struck her then, the first of the DONNIE Bowed through the night, and the room momentarily four-inch gap at the bottom of the swam. When it came to rest she bedroom window. He saw his body was looking at a Bashing-eyed lying on its back on the bed and priest in a gorgeous cloak who was he surged toward it through the weaving across the TV screen. air, paddling gently with his ten- 14 PANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION tacle tips. His body opened from to the TV, "You shouldn't peek, crotch to chin like a purse and he Father!" and she turned around, flowed inside and the lips of the haughtily shielding her breasts purse closed over his back with a with a forearm held crosswise. soft click. Then he squirmed The. bedroom door was open around gently, as if in a sleeping and Donnie was standing in it, bag, and looked through the two swaying and staring. Gwen felt holes in the front of his head and another surge of deadly fatigue thrust his tentacles down into his but she steadied herself and stared arms and lifted his hands above back at her husband. his eyes and wriggled his fingers. Woman, the Cave Keeper, the It felt very strange to have finger­ Weaver of Words, faced Man, the tipped arms with bones in them Bread Winner, the Far Ranger. instead of tentacles. Just then he They moved together slowly, heard laughter from the living dragging their feet, until they were room. leaning against each other. Then GWEN was laughing admiring­ more slowly, still, as if they were ly at the reflection of her breasts. supporting each other through She had taken off her smock and quicksands, they moved toward the brassier and painted circles of glue bedroom. around the nipples and sprinkled "Do you like me, Donnie?N on more green glitter. Gwen asked. Although her ears were switched Donnie's gaze brushed across her off, she thought she heard the glittering green-striped face and priest call from behind her, "Gwen breasts. His hand tightened on her Martin, you ought to be ashamed shoulder and he nodded. of yourself!" and she called back "You're one of us," he said. ------MERCURY PRESS, Inc., 347 East 53 Street, New York 22, N.Y. F8 Send me The Magazine of FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION. I enclose 0 $4.50 for one year 0 $11.00 for three years.

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Address ...... •..••...••......

City .•..••...... •...... ••••••••••••••. Zone ..... State ...•.•••••• The men in Eden Holiway's family line had been cursed for generations-they had all been vampire prone. Eden had de­ termined that he would not die that way, however-and had devised a foolproof method of self-defense.


by Kendell F. Crossen

l DON'T REMEMBER EXACTLY I nodded and returned his when I first met Eden Holiway. smile. I'd seen him fairly often in the "I've seen you in here almost ev­ Crib, a small quiet bar in Green­ ery night," he said. "My name is wich Village, where I went almost Eden Holiway." every night. To see him was to no­ ''I'm Mort Avery," I told him. We tice him. He was of moderate size, shook hands and began talking. perhaps forty-five years old, but his Nothing important. Baseball outstanding feature was his face. scores, was the reign of the Yankees It was pure white without a spot of over, who'd win the fight on Satur­ color in it except for the blackness day night, things like that. Bar of his eyes. A strange face, more talk. We kept it up until he left. like an alabaster death mask than After that we often talked al­ part of a living man. though it- was never personal. His routine was always the Then one night we left the bar to­ same. He'd arrive at the bar about gether and walked along until we ten, sit alone drinking whiskey came to his place. I was about to and water, then at two in the say good night and go on home morning he'd start glancing nerv­ when he surprised me. ously at his watch. He never "I was wondering," he said, "if stayed later than three. you'd like to come upstairs for a One night when I entered the nightcap before going home?" Crib the only empty spot at the I was curious about him so I ac­ bar was next to him. I took it. cepted the invitation and followed "Hello," he said shyly. him up the stairs. The apartment 15 16 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTIOS' we entered was large and expen­ and smiled. "Do you believe in sively furnished. vampires?" "Will you excuse me a mo­ "I haven't thought much about ment," he said as soon as we it," I said vaguely. were in it. 'Til be right back." "Well, you should," he said. Without waiting for an answer he "They are the undead. During the vanished into another room. day they stay in their coffins look­ I wandered around the room ing like any other corpse, but at :where I waited and finally went night they walk among the living over to look at the books that lined searching for blood. Human blood. one wall. I heard the door open And every one of their \'ictims behind me. becomes, in turn, a vampire." "Ah, you've discovered my li­ There is little that you can say brary," he said. "Are you fond of to a statement like that so I took a books?" drink and said nothing. "Not too much," I admitted. I "My family," he continued, "has turned around to face him. "I'm been cursed for centuries. My afraid-" That was as far as I got. great-grandfather, my grandfather, This was Eden Holiway in front of my father, all were killed by vam­ me but a different one than I had pires. They have been after me as been talking with for several far back as I can remember. But I weeks. His face was tingling with have always foiled them." life, the cheeks red and rosy. I It was, I decided, best to humor could do nothing but stare. him. And I tvas curious. "You find me different?" he "How?" I asked. asked. "Until two years ago, I did it ''Y-yes," I said. "I don't under­ by being careful. I had the best stand. You're suddenly the very locks in the world. I never left my picture of health. Is it some new apartment between dusk and day­ wonder drug you've just taken?" light. I permitted myself no "I will tell you about it," he friends. I never got married or said. He was obviously enjoying even engaged." himself. "But first we should have "It must have been a lonely a couple of drinks." He went over life," I said. to a small bar and mixed two He sighed. "It was indeed. For­ drinks. He came back and handed tunately, I found another way to one to me. "It is a wonder drug. save myself from vampires. I was Blood." a medical chemist-a good enough "Blood?" I repeated stupidly. one that I was able to retire a few "I don't understand." years ago and live on royalties. I He leaned back in his chair then devoted all my time to my THE GOLDEI\0 FLASK 17 own problem. I was able to solve it "Are you doing anything about two years ago and since then I've marketing your serum? If what been able to go out at will." you say about vampires is true, "You mean you've discovered there should be a large market for something that makes you im­ it." mune to vampires?" I asked. "No," he said firmly. "That "Something of the sort," he said. would be foolish. I wilJ never plll He chuckled, then jumped to his it 011 the market or re\eal the se­ feet. "I'll show you." He darted cret of it. It's much too dangerous. through the door again and was You can't imagine. Why, e\-en b) back almost at once, carrying a -·· He broke off suddenly but it large golden flask. It was one of was obvious what he had intended the most beautiful objects I'd ever to say. It had suddenly occurred seen. to him that for the first lime he "This flask," he said, "has been had told another person his secret. in my family for centuries and it A strange disquiet fdl upon us. seemed only fitting that I convert He was ill at ease because he haJ it to my purpose. You see, I have re\-ealed himself ami I was em­ developed a serum which will sus­ barrassed by his uneasiness. We tain life for a period of time. I in­ did, however, try to talk of other ject myself with the serum and things, while he sat there fondling this allows me to drain all the the golden flask, but the sentences blood from my body ami store it came out jerkily anJ there were in this flask which keeps it at the Ion!( periods of silence. As soon as proper temperature. I can go with­ I felt I could I mentioned leaving out any blood in my body for six and he looked relie\ed. We paned, to seven hours. It is then I can go vowing to see each other in the out and enjoy myself, knowing Crib on the following night. that no vampire will bother with a \Ve did, too-but it was not man who has no blood. \\'hen the the same. We had never been time is up I come back here and friends yet there had been some refill my veins." sort of bond between us. It was "But it's all impossible," I said, gone after that. His story liad been shaking my head. dropped in between us and it "Nonsense," he said. "You've stayed there like an immm·eable seen me when I was out and you obstacle. When we did meet in just saw me after I had returned the bar we were careful to never my blood to my body. Can you sit near each other. doubt the ev'idence of you1· own The next to last time I saw him eyes?" was a week later. I was at the far "I don't kuow," 1 admitted. end of the bar when he entered 18 fANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION a·nd took his usual stool. We nod­ I felt a flash of irritation at his ded but that was all. It was not intrusion. one of my good nights. The drinks "Look," I said firmly. "I not only didn't taste right and I was rest­ didn't tell them anything, I don't less. Finally at about two o'clock I even believe in them. You prob­ got up and left. ably misplaced your flask." I was home in my own apart­ He laughed hoarsely. "Could I ment within an hour. I had a show­ misplace my own blood? I must er and put on my dressing robe. I find it-quickly. Won't you tell went into the dining room and set me where it is?" the table for my usual late snack. "I don't know," I said coldly. I was about to sit down when the "Why don't you go over to the hos­ doorbell rang. Wondering who pital? They might give you a would call at that hour, I went transfusion." I closed the door in and opened the door. It was Eden his face. The bell started ringing Holiway. His dark eyes stared again but after a while it stopped. wildly at me from the alabaster I went into the dining room face. and sat at the table. I picked up "Oh, hello," I said. the golden flask and tilted it over "It's gone," he gasped. my cup. This was so much better "What's gone?" than the usual way. I wished there "The golden flask," he said. were more people as thoughtful as "You told them. You must have." Eden Holiway.

CHANGING YOUR ADDRESS? The Magazine of FANTASY and SCIENCE FICTION will follow you anywhere• providing you let us know six weeks in advance. Please be sure to give us your old address as well as the new one, and add the zone number if there is one. (If convenient, send the address label from the wrapper of the next copy of F&SF you receive.) Subscription Service MERCURY PUBLICATIONS 34 7 East 53 Street New York 22, N.Y. • The American edition of F&SF is now being sent to seventy two ( 72) countries of the world. Gordon Dickson ha.s written of deep space, the depths of the sea, our own American heartland, and of other large subjects both near and far. In this story he deliberately confines him­ self to a smaller, and paints an almost jamesean picture of what bubbled under the outwardly prosaic lid of a sub­ urban caldron when the Struggle for Place grew too fierce to simmer quietly, and the usual ploys proved too mild. We are a City Boy ourself, and, with all the smugness of same, have tended to regard the lives of the Garden Club set a.s be­ ing mild a.s pap, jejune-but after learning from Mr. Dickson the low-down on what really goes on in Glen Hills, we are content to stay where we are and face-up to the lesser perils (such a.s routine muggings and semi-occasional stab-fests) of the Megapolis.


by Gordon R. Dickson

1 SEEM TO HAVE ACQUIRED A from quiet. And as for our Garden sort of kitten. I call it Sam. Club-there is a great deal more I suppose that doesn't sound to it than gardening. too odd, but it would if \OU knew We who are in ·it recognize me better. I know. I ~ealize all this. All of us; myself, Helen the nonsense about middle aged Merrivale, Cora Lachese and her bachelors (like old maids) being contingent, and (until recently) supposed to like cats is supposed Achmed Suga-are, if I may say to go with a quiet suburban exist­ so, in pivotal position with re­ ence and activity in the local gard to the junior organizations. Garden Club. But, I promise you, The Hiking Club, the Fund I am not the type. Drives, the Golden Sixties, and In the first place, I don't look all the host of lesser groupings fifty. There's not a grey hair on which flourish in a respectable my head. My existence is far area like Glen Hills. Indeed, the 19 20 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTIOr.; Garden Club is the H.Q. of Glen the junior organizations. Though Hills. And, like all elements in the smile of easy confidence never which supreme authority is vested, left my lips during those long and it has its continual, sometimes terrible months, I began to make brilliant and sometimes deadly, quiet inquiries of travel agencies internal struggles between oppos­ myself. ing chiefs of staff, once external How little I knew my leader! frontiers have been secured. She is a great woman, Helen Oh, indeed I knew-I knew it Merrivale. Completely without as long as a year before-that the mercy, of course, but one expects tide had begun to run against that in such memorable leaders. Helen Merrh'ale, hard-bitten vet­ Helen returned, quietly and eran and courageous campaigner unexpectedly. With her she that she was. Not one, not two­ brought Sam-now why did I but five crucial issues, ranging write that? She most certainly from the placement of the comfort did not bring Sam. She has no stations at the annual Old-Tim­ more use for cats or kittens than ers' picnic to the naming of the I do; and at the time Sam could executive vice-president to the hardly have been more than an yearly Anti-Trash and Litter embryo. The creature 1Vill insist Campaign, had gone against her. on intruding into my writing, as And what made this doubly awk­ he has intruded into my life. ward was that I was her chief -Now, where was I? lieutenant. Oh, yes. The first we knew of With all this, however, I sus­ Helen's return was when we all pected nothing when Helen, in received mailed invitations to a August of last year, cleverly man­ Home Again party. Attached to aged a nervous breakdown to en­ my invitation was a note asking sure her honorable withdrawal me to come early. from the field of combat. I saw I obeyed of course, arriving her off on a round-the-world trip shortly before the hour. Her sis­ with my mind occupied only by ter let me in. Letty. A poor thing the disgraceful tactical situation by comparison with Helen. she had dropped in my lap. "And where is the dear girl, Well, I tried to do what I could Letty?" I asked. -but the result was certain. Ex­ "She's waiting for you in the perienced opponents like Cora living room," whispered Letty, Lachese simply do not make mis­ giving me a strange look. I takes. One by one, I watched my frowned at her and strode on in­ (and Helen's) appointees stripped side. As I saw the two people of their positions of authority in waiting there for me, I checked. 21 For just an instant. And then I joint. Little patties of bulk sausage was moving forward with smile shaped his hands and feet. I was and outstretched hand. most cordial to him. I believe I mentioned that I But a natural terminus was am not the ordinary type of mid­ approaching to our conversation. dle-aged bachelor. No grand vizier And in a moment it had arrived. of an ancient, oriental court, ar­ A stir swept through the room; riving to find his successor wait­ and a second later, surrounded ing by the. Emir's chair, could by her own lieutenants-and a have reacted with more issouci­ hard-eyed lot they were, as I ancc than myself. And I believe, could testify-Cora Lachese came looking back on it, that at that tramping in. moment I noticed a spark-just a "Helen!" she cried. And­ spark-of admiration in Helen's "Coral" echoed Helen. They eyes. fell into each others' arms-Helen "Horace," she said, "I want you tall and majestically well-uphol­ to meet a new, but very dear stered with regal grey hair, Cora friend of mind." She turned to short, stocky and leathery-skinned, the small man at her side. "Mr. with a Napoleonic glint in her Achmed Suga. Achmed, this is dark eyes. A scent of blood was Horace Klinton." in the air. I shook hands with him. What "How we missed youl" barked the three of us then spoke about Cora, in her ringing baritone. in the ensuing moments while "Whatever made you stay away so the living room gradually filled up long?" with guests, I do not remember. "The mysterious East," an­ Nor does it matter. The impor­ swered Helen. "Its spell got me, tant thing was Suga; as obviously my dear! Helpless-! was quite dangerous as he was unpreposess­ helpless before it." She half­ ing. turned toward Suga. "I might The grip of his hand had been have lost myself there forever, if suety. And the rest of him looked it hadn't been for dear Achmed to be of the same material. He here." was like nothing so much as a Cora glanced at the man, and little sausage-man. His head, a from him to me. I saw her note round grey blob of bulk sausage, my own awareness of the fact seated upon a longer, oblong blob that I had been supplanted at of sausage body. To this larger Helen's side. blob were attached link sausages, "Achmed, this is Cora Lachese, two to a limb and sewed tightly whose praises you've heard me together at the elbow or knee sing so frequently. Cora- 22 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION Achmed Suga ..." Helen was say­ around for Cora's first lieuten­ ing. ant, but she was nowhere to be seen "Haylo, dear lady. Most hon­ in the room. And at that moment ored," said Achmed in a thick a shriek rang out from the garden accent which I had not noticed beyond the french doors. previously, though it was quite We poured out into the garden, obvious now. all of us. And there lay Marilyn "Achmed will be staying with Speedo, dead in a nastursium bed, me several months," Helen said. evidently having just been strangled "While he completes his book on by a pair of powerful hands. Witchcraft in America. We must Quite naturally, this incident get him to speak at the Garden cast a pall over the Home Again Club on the Thugees, or the As­ party. Cora and her group slipped sassin's Guild-or one of those away quite early. A charming fu­ other fascination societies." neral was held two days later for "Oh, you study such things, Marilyn and during the next few Mr. Suga?" said Cora. weeks, the police set up patrols "He is an adept/" murmurred about the streets of Glen Hills. Helen. · However, they had no success by "Please, dear lady," said the time the next meeting of the Achmed, fattily. "Merely I am Garden Club was held-on this creature of powers greater than occasion at the home of Cora my own. II Lachese, herself, where custom "Really?" growled Cora. She had shifted it from Helen's home cocked an eye at Helen. "He's far after Helen had left. too valuable for Achmed the Garden gave us what Club, Helen. I must admit We'll have to was an interest­ have him give ing talk on his little talk to Hemlock and tl1e Old Peo­ Related Poi­ ple's Home. I'll sons. I had had tell Marilyn no idea, my­ Speedo-" self, how many ''Dear Marl· lethal sub­ lyn," mur­ stances were mured Helen available in our again, "where fields and is she?" woods; and I We all looked imagine few of SALMAJSAZ_..R 23 us had, for I saw many of the mem­ and showed it around. "You just bers taking notes. But after the cut a deep cross in the soft metal talk, over the coffee and cakes, the of the nose. When it hits, it talk inevitably turned to the spreads out-dum-dum bullets, I subject of the murderer, still no believe they used to call them •.." doubt lurking among us. While she was showing it "... The terrible thing is," said around, someone commented on Helen, casting a judicious eye on the color of the metal of the bul­ Cora. "You can never tell who he let itself. might choose for his next victim!" "-\Veil, yes, as a matter of "Quite right!" boomed Cora. fact they are silver," said Cora. And, snapping open the sensible "Rather chic, don't you think? leather shoulder bag she had been Don't you think so, Helen?" wearing, rather surprisingly in "Oh, indeed, Cora dear," mur­ her own home, she produced a murred Helen. snub-nosed, thirty-two revolver. And so our even tenor of life "Belonged to my little brother continued-although the mur­ Tommy-the one who was a ma­ derer was not found. A couple of jor in the army, you know. Dear rather sad suicides occurred, how­ Tommy, taught me to shoot like a ever, to cloud the bright June sun­ man-" The revolver went off shine-for we were now into suddenly, clipping a rather good­ mid-summer. Only a week or so sized antler from the deer head after the Garden Club party, overhanging the fireplace. "Oops Joan Caswell, Cora's second most -how careless of mel Helen, reliable henchwoman, apparently how can you forgive me! It just drowned herself in her own lily missed your ear!" pond; and Maria Selzer, the next "A miss," said Helen, rather in line, while doing her morning grimly I thought, "is as good as a TV exercises, managed to judo­ mile." chop herself on the back of the "As good as about two inches, neck, killing herself instantly. in this case, I'd say," replied Cora. With this last tragedy a shift­ "It's remarkable what an eye I ing of values became apparent in have. Tommy never ceased to be Glen Hills-many of Helen's amazed at it. Well, what I wanted lieutenants taking thought evi­ to show you all were these mar­ dently on the insecurity of life, velous little bullets. Something and withdrawing from club of­ they invented in the first World fices to devote themselves more War, and later outlawed by the to home and family. So, perhaps United Nations, or some such to bring a note of cheer back into thing. See-" she took one out all our lives, Cora Lachese chose 24 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION this moment to announce a gala announced an entertainment, evening to which all were in­ while standing by the fire pit vited. A Night Lawn Party and where the meat had been bar­ Beirfest, with Barbecue. becued. The fire was mainly red I must say it was a pleasant coals by that time. But I remem­ evening at first. Cora had pro­ ber her flinging up her arms, dra­ duced a most interesting new matically in its dim glow, and person-a young man with a he­ bellowing out-"Seigfried f" roic name. At that there was a sudden ex­ ". . . Seigfried," Cora called plosion-as I remember-of red him over as Helen, Suga, and I smoke from the fire pit. And there arrived together. "You must meet leaped into view a figure that no him. Seigfriedf Seig-now, he's more resembled the youth I had gone again. A cultural anthropolo­ seen, than a sabre-toothed tiger gist, Helen-from the college resembles something like-well­ over at lnglcsby, at the moment. Sam. The figure was naked except But he's studied abroad for years for a breechclout and feathers, -oh, there he is!" and twice Seigfried's size. She pointed. And we perceived, I became aware then of under the paper lanterns of the Achmed standing behind me. lawn party, a tall, shambling And at the sight of Seigfried, I young man in a tweed suit. We saw him start violently and begin all moved off to meet him. But I, to slip away. \Vhat possessed me, for one, got waylaid by someone then, I do not know. But I imme­ halfway there and never did diately grabbed him. reach his side. The next I looked "No, you do1t't!" I cried drunk­ he was not to be seen. Neither, enly and triumphantly. I had for that matter, were Cora or caught hold of his pudgy hand, Helen. and he squirmed and pulled However, I quickly ceased to against my grasp. worry about them. The beer Cora Meanwhile, Seigfried was had ordered was evidently infer­ dancing before the firepit with nally strong stuff. Either that or I great leaps and bounds. Suddenly, -but I'm sure it was the beer. I he yelled at the top of his voice have met nobody who was at and pointed in the direction of Cora's that night who did not ad­ Suga and myself. The whole mit to being a little, at least, un- · crowd turned to look. certain about what went on and "Ahani, beja yla.rl'' yelled Seig­ what they remember. fried, or something sounding like In my case, confusion begins that. -And suddenly, without la~r in the evening. Cora had warning, Suga went to pieces. SALMANAZA'R 25 I mean that literally. I was Together. he and they swayed drunk, of course. It was un­ before the fire in the half-light of doubtedly a hallucination we aD the paper lanterns and the low­ had. But one moment, Achmed burning coals. And, at that mo­ seemed to be standing there like ment, someone who may have any other human being; and the been Cora Lachese-I thought I next he began to come apart. His saw her do it-splashed liquid on head tumbled off his shoulders the coals. Pit, figures and all and went bouncing along the went up in one roaring sheet of ground like a great, fat weasel. white flame. And I found myself His body tumbled after, leaping running from that place. and rolling and bounding away, I ran-I assure you I ran all the thinning out as it went until it way home. At last, in my own looked like a running hound­ home, with the door locked and and howled like a hound, too, bolted behind me, I uncorked a a hound on the trail of its quarry. bottle of my fine manzanilla sher­ His left arm dropped off; and, ry and drained it from the bottle hissing like a snake, began to like water. It was then I discov­ glide-but why go on? It \vas a ered I was carrying something. hallucination. There is no need to Something I had been clutching go into gruesome details. in my hand all the while. Yet I cannot forget the way I It was Sam. imagined these-these things, these parts, to begin their chase There is no need to stretch the of the hapless Seigfried. At his illusion of that evening out un­ first sight of them he had lost duly. The next day it was dis­ whatever nerve he had originally covered that this youth, Seigfried, had. With a terrified shriek he had most certainly been un­ seemed to turn to flee. But the hinged by the long hours of work parts of Achmed seemed to be he had been putting in on his everywhere about the grounds. doctorate thesis. Undoubtedly he They hunted him high and low. had been the maniac who had They hunted him out of arbors, strangled Marilyn Speedo. Al­ through summer houses. They most surely, he had drowned Joan hunted him from the midst of Caswell in her own lily pond. screaming women where he tried And, while there was some rather to hide; and finally once more be­ firm evidence that he had been fore the fire pit, they closed in teaching a freshman class in an­ upon him as if to blanket his thropology at the time of Maria shrinking body with their own Selzer's death, yet there was no shapeless selves. doubt he was conversant with 26 FANTASY AND SCIENCE l'ICl'I0:-1 judo. The official police verdict It is Sam. Why I keep the was an unofficial tribute to creature .•. Achmed Suga, who-having the I assure you I have no love for adept's resistance to hypnosis­ cats. had attempted to restrain the Nor would I be liable to name madman, after he had first hypno­ one Sam. Salmanazar, now-I tized everyone else at the party, find that name coming occasional­ and then gone berserk. ly, trippingly from my lips, when -A tragedy culminated by I see the creature. But where the Seigfried's dumping charcoal name came from, I have no idea. starter fluid on the live coals of Moreover, how could anyone­ the fire pit and jumping onto let alone myself-have any de­ them with Achmed clasped to sire to keep a sort of cat which him with maniac strength. never meows, never purrs, does . . . So, we may say this chap­ nothing a cat should do and re­ ter in the history of Glen Hills is fuses its milk in favor of a diet finally, if sadly, concluded. Helen of spiders, slugs and filth? and Cora are jointly engaged in It hates me, I am quite con­ reorganization at the moment-a vinced. Also it hates Cora and hint having reached us that Mrs. Helen, judging by the way I see Laura Bromley of an adjoining it watching them from a window community is considering a move at times when they pass. Some­ into our territory-our turf, as I times, also, I see it stalking across like to call it to myself. the carpet at night like some And I, myself, am now right thick, furry hand, and a shudder hand man to both Cora and Hel­ takes me. en. They need me at this time of Besides, on that disgusting and writing, and the fact is recog­ most unnatural diet of its own nized by all. I am a happy man choosing, there is no doubt but with but one fly in my ointment. what it is growing . . .

THE JOURNEY OF JOENES a by ROBERT SHECKLEY beginning in the October issue What happened to Noll.h, after the Ark made its landfaU, is well and sadly familiar, but what happened to the captain of the Mayflower after that lamling and disembarkation at Plym­ outh Rock is something which we do not remembu having learned at school. Indeed, we doubt if the master mariners name was even mentioned. Was it just another ferry-trip or milk-run to him? Did he feel weighed down by the responsi­ bilities of conveying the seeds of a new nation to a new world? Was he happy to see the last of those difficult sectarians? Oc­ cupied with the perpetUlll perplexities of leaking seams and semi-unpumpable bilges? Or is it possible that he never gave the matter a thought more than a thought or two, being en­ grossed in plans to retire to a chicken-farm outside of Bristol? We shall probably never know . ... Dean McLaughlin, who here considers the problem of a future captain of a super­ Mayflower, is thirty-one years old and works in the college bookstore of the University of Michigan. His manner is quiet, his stories (all Science Fiction) are seldom, his first novel (as_ yet untitled) is soon to appear, he plays (he says) the hi-fi phonograph with modera-te skill, and he once had the temerity to tell us that we snore. We did not, however, sternutate even slightly whiZ. reading this story, and doubt if you will, eitller.


by Dean JJicLaughlin

fHE CHIME ON CAPTAIN RALPH the men in the Viki11g looked Griscomb's desk sounded musi­ young. Most of them weren't. cally. Captain Griscomb was a He snapped the toggle; his sec­ lean, young-looking man, but that retary's face appeared on the didn't mean anything because all screen. She looked young, too, but 27 28 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION he knew for a fact she had already She came through the door a lived almost two hundred years. moment later with the fat folder. "Yes," he said. It was not a She laid it on the desk in front of question. him. She was small, slim, dark­ "Call from the observatory, sir," haired, and she had a pretty smile. she said. "Aram Lamphear." "Thank you, Ruth," he said. "Put him on." His hand touched the file idly, The screen blinked. A young peeling back a comer of the pages. man's face appeared. He didn't look at them. "Reporting, Captain," he said "There should be a cartridge tersely. coming down," he told her. "Let's have it." "Would you bring it in when it "The observations are complet­ comes?" ed, sir," the man said. "Our orbit "Of course," she said, sur­ is perfect." prised, not sure why she should "Thank you," Captain Gris­ feel surprised. Awkwardly, she comb said. "Put it on paper and waited for him to dismiss her, but send it down." he was silent. She turned to go. "It's on the way already, sir," Suddenly she knew what was Lamphear said. "But I thought odd. He had asked her. Always be­ you would want to know at once." fore, he had commanded. "Yes. Thank you. Yes," Captain She went out softly. Griscomb said. He stopped then, He opened the file on his desk. waiting, but there wasn't anything It was thick-a fat pile of loose more to say. "Thank you," he said papers in scrupulous chronologi­ again, heavily. · cal order. The young face faded from the There were ninety years in that screen. It was blank. Captain Gris­ file. More than ninety years. Nine­ comb sat staring into it. It was ty years' accumulation in that stack grey. of flimsy, thin pages. He felt strangely old, and He leafed through them. They strangely tired. were all different colors, each color It was over. Finally, it was to show the department it came over. It was done. from: the white sheets from Com­ mand, bearing his own blunt sig­ He snapped the toggle again. nature like a badge-Ralph Oris­ His secretary appeared. "Ruth. comb, Capt. And the other colors Bring me the voyage file. The big -blue from Astrogation, green one." from Power, pink from Passenger "Yes, sir," Ruth Forrest said Relations, and the yellow pages efficiently. from Ecology. · THE VOYAGE WHICH IS ENDED 29 Ralph Griscomb turned them stripped of his office. The Council over one by one. They were full became, in practice, Griscomb's of magic words and magic names puppet. that conjured memories from the -the approach to the Vihing'~ mists of forgetfulness. second star and the sighting of an His commission. His official or­ inhabitable planet. The closing of ders-signed by Paolo Lenski him­ the Perrault Clinic and the riots self. Lenski, who had Captained that inevitably resulted. The dis­ the Venture, the parent ship from inherited could not be expected t'l which had come the Viking's pas­ understand that immortality wns sengers and crew. not compatible with planetary -the record of the Viking's life-that on a world men mmt slow escape from the solar system have death, or else, to live in bal­ of Venture Colony IV. The petty ance with that world, must cease problems of adjusting its passen­ to reproduce-that otherwise gers to shipboard life. their numbers would expand unt:I -the opening of the Perrault all the planet's resources could not Clinic, granting by the special dis­ satisfy their needs. It could not be pensation of its miracle the gift of explained, in the face of passion, endless youth to all the young that the immortals could be al­ hom to the Viking's on lowed their immortality only be­ turning nventy years of age. cause of the inexhaustible vastness -the Plague that vanished as through which they travelled, tak­ swiftly as it struck, leaving fifty­ ing only a little from each world four passengers dead. The cause on which they paused to build a was never isolated. colony. The young ones-the dis­ -the Vildng's first star. The· possessed ones-could not be ex­ one planet naked and barren. The pected to sympathize with tl10~e Viking did not pause there. It realities. It was the cause of much plunged on through interstellar anguish, and Griscomb regrette~.I space. it, but that was the way it had to be -the blight that attacked the done. Viking's hydroponics, its deadly -and finally the final pages of rot spreading like black flame from the file, detailing the slow maneu­ one tank to the next. The oxygen vers of the Viking warping into or­ panic that resulted, and later the bit around the planet. riots when the food stocks ran low. That was it. The entire file was -Reichal's mutiny, when the turned over, page by page. Done. Master of the Passengers' Council Put back in the past again. Ninety challenged Griscomb's command. years of accomplishment, his. And It was quashed, and Reichal was now it was finis'hed, waiting only 30 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION for the final page to be complete. feeling she meant to say more, but Ruth came into the office. She she didn't. crossed the carpet softly and laid "I'm sorry," he said, feeling the paper down in front of him. awkward. "I didn't know." "You asked me to bring this," she "Don't be." Her smile was soft. reminded. "You never asked and you were al­ He scanned the blue-tinted ways so busy, and it wasn't impor­ page; it reported, as Aram Lam­ tant. Karel and I, we decided to phear had said, that the Viking end it. That's all. We knew each was in a stable orbit around the other too well. You get that way, planet. sometimes, after forty years." "Thank you, Ruth,'' he said. "I know what you mean," He put the paper in the file. The Griscomb said. He had been last page. Now it was finished. through it himself. "Here, Ruth,'' he said, closing the "It got so I knew everything he folder. "Put this back, will you?" was going .to do and everything he She bent over his desk to lift it was going to say," Ruth said. "And with both hands. "Yes, sir." it was the same for him. There "No, Ruth," he said. "Don't call . . . there just wasn't anything me that. Not any more." He folded left. There wasn't anything more his hands and stared at them. He that could happen between us. breathed heavily. "I'm just Ralph So . . . we decided to quit. I Griscomb now.'' really think you ought to when you "Yes, sir." She caught herself get like that." and chuckled awkwardly. "I mean, "Yes. I guess that's so." Gris­ Mr. Griscomb." She hesitated, comb fingered the top of his desk. holding the file bundled in both He spread his hands, palms down. arms. "It's over, isn't it." "Living as long as we do, I imagine He nodded. "Yes." She must you're right." have known before, but it was kind Ruth still held the file in both of her to let him confirm it. "It's arms, hugging it to her body. finally done,'' he said, and stared "Well ..." She backed away down at his folded hands. slowly, as if there was something "What will you do now?" she she wanted to say but which she asked. felt incapable of saying. He shrugged. He didn't know. He glanced up, expecting her "Ruth, what do you and your hus­ to speak. He saw her hesitating in band plan to do? You haven't men- the doorway, holding the file as if tioned him • • •" · to protect herself with it. She "That's all over,'' she said grave­ looked breathless and about to ly. "Two years ago." He had the speak, but suddenly, feeling his THE \"OY AGE WHICH IS ENDED 31 grey eyes watching her, she lost ''Yes, Captain. For a little courage and backed away and the while," Ruth agreed. Then she door closed between them. corrected herself with a smile. "Mr. He picked up a pen and took a Griscom b." sheet of paper from a drawer. He "Just tell him wait until he began to write. hears from me, Ruth. That's all." He had thought a lot, these last He snapped the toggle over. few years, about how he would "That's all," he repeated, heavily, phrase it. He had thought the sen­ to the blank, grey screen. - tences through until they were He went on writing, carefully, like carved marble in his mind. the formal prose that would end But now, putting them on paper his command. at last, they weren't the same words and they had none of the As the Vihiug approached the flavor of the words he had turned star that was to be its destination, so carefully over and over in his Griscomb had lost his power over mind. the Passengers' Council. His pow· He took out another sheet and er rested on the fact that he com­ began again. He wrote the things manded the ship and would con· he had to write in cold, formal tinue to do so. With the end of the prose. He was still at it when Ruth voyage in sight, all that was sounded the chime on his desk. He changed. reached over and snapped the tog· Green Tcpperman, l\laster of gle. the Council, did not rise from his "Green Tcpperman," she told desk when Griscomb wall,ed in. him. "He wants to know if he Tepperman was a large, heavy should come down now." set man with blond hair and "What?" demanded Griscomb. fleshy jowls. He arched his brows "How did he find out? Does the at Griscomb, but he looked more man have spies everywhere?" pleased than surprised. "I don't think he actually "So now you are coming to knows," Ruth explained. "I think me!" he beamed. He nodded to­ he was looking for information. ward a chair. What should I tell him?" Griscomb pretended not to no­ "There's enough who'd spy for tice. He had never liked Tepper­ him." Griscomb grumbled. "As if man-few men did. And he knew he won't have power soon enough. that Teppennan held the highest Tell him he'll hear soon enough. elective office in the ship only be­ I'm still Captain of this ship." cause the passengers didn't care He calmed and smiled wryly. · who sat in a powerless office. But ·'For a little while, anyway." now-now that the Council would FANTASY Al\'D SCIENCE FICTIO:S have power again-now Tepper­ "But you still have the ship," man would be voted from office at Tepperman objected. the next election. He wondered if Griscomb shook his head. "No. Tcpperman knew that. I'm giving you that, too. As long "I came to bring you this," he as it moved, it was mine. Now said. He passed the envelope ..•"His throat was dry. ''Now I across the desk. don't want it." Eagerly, Tepperman slipped a '~But . . " Tepperman pro­ finger under the flap, brought the tested inarticulately. "It would paper out, and held it, unfolded, help me tremendously if you would in front of him. continue. Under me, of course. "The ship is yours, sir," Gris­ Yes-it would help me greatly." comb said stiffiy. "No," Griscomb said. He had "Ah ... Yes!" Tepperman known that Tepperman would of­ hissed, like a man counting mon­ fer him back the command of his ey. ship, and he had come determined "Will there be anything else, to refuse. But still it was a very sir?" Griscomb asked, with respect. brutal thing that the offer was not "Ohl Sit down, Captain," Tep­ even made as a gesture of cold, perman invited grandly. "I must formal courtesy-that instead it say it's • . ah, generous of you was offered only as a convenience, to give over command so willing­ as a way of taking work off Tep· ly. You could have made things perman's shoulders. very difficult· for me, you know. "In the new situation," Gris­ Yes! Very difficult!" comb said, "I believe that a man Griscomb was as motionless as will be able to do as he pleases. I stone. "I'd not have gained any­ ••. Thank you for your offer. thing by it," he said. "I've brought I cannot accept it." you here. What more can I do?" Tepperman frowned. "Why Tepperman looked surprised­ not?" baffied. "But to have so much pow· "My job is done," Griscomb er-why, you've ruled our livesl­ said. "There's nothing left to com­ and to . • . to simply give it up mand. The Viking's in orbit-As­ ... surrender it .•." trogation will only be concerned "I had power because I caD· with operations of the shuttle craft trolled the ship," Griscomb said. down to the planet and back. Pow­ "And you had no other place. to go. er is only needed for internal use. Now • • . now my ship is in or­ Ecology will be only routine bit. You've got a planet down aboard, and putting most of its staff there. I don't have any claim to to studying what's down there. power, now." And Relations is more directly THE VOYAGE WHICH IS EXDED 3.1 under you than it was ever to my­ crawl on his belly after standing self. I'm sorry, sir. My job is done, on his own two feet." and there's no place for me in the "I wish you would reconsider," new scheme of things. Thank you, Tepperman urged. "I must say your but the answer is no." ''iew is unnecessarily grim. After "You're too l1asty, Captain," all, we won't be down on this Tepperman claimed. planet forever-most likely not "That is another thing that has more than a century. Long enough changed," Griscomb said in a firm, to establish our colony, and to hard voice. ''I'm not Captain of build some new ships . . !' anything." "I said I had made up my. "But you do not understand mind," Griscomb said. how I plan to organize operations,'' "But-" Tepperman argued. Tepperman explained. "I meant "But surely, when we move on for you to undertake command of again, you'll be commander of one affairs aboard ship, and shuttle of those ships." operations-while I devote my "Perhaps," Griscomb admitted, energies to directing the develop­ unpersuaded. "A century is too far ment of our colony." to see-e,·en for us. I've done my Griscomb occupied his chair job. I want to rest. I want to forget solidly. "Sir, if you will pardon me, it. All of it." my mind is made up, I must re­ "You make things rather awk- fuse!' ward for me " "But why?" ''I'm sorry. You'll have to find "Why?" echoed Griscomb. somebody else." "Must I give reasons? I don't want "But what will you do?" the command. Isn't that enough? Griscomb replied stiffiy. "As an I've commanded this ship for nine­ ordinary passenger, I see no reason ty-two years. I've had complete to discuss the matter here. Thank authority over everything-every you, I'll make my own arrange­ life and machine and thing. Now ments." vou want me to sit in command He stood up. "You must be ~nd watch everything I've worked busy," he stated. He retreated to­ to hold together melt away, until ward the door. "If there is nothing my ship is just an empty shell. You else ..." want me to take a post where I "No. Notbing." must take orders from you. Forgive ''Thank you, sir," Griscomb me if I sound harsh, sir, but if you said. "I wish you luck with your want the work done efficiently, new command, sir." you'll do well to find somebody else. "Thank you,'' Tepperman Someone who doesn't have to smiled. 34 FANTASY Al:I."D SCIENCE FICTION Griscomb left. Instead of the forbidding grey metal of thick walls, there seemed Outside, Griscomb paused. He to be no barrier at all. It was trans­ reached up to his collar and un­ parent as air-so seemingly non­ pinned the one, bright silver star. existent that even reaching out to He held it in his palm a moment, touch it was scarcely reassuring. looking at it, weighing it, feeling You could stand up close to it and for a moment its cool and sharp feel that one more step and you existence. He made an angry face would be outside the ship, and that and shoved it deep in a pocket. nothing was there to stop you. People in clusters crowded close 1\liddeck's corridors were broad. to the invisible wall. They talked The crowds wandered to their idle excitedly among themselves. They destinations. Griscomb walked pointed. For there, a thousand among them, but he felt apart from miles below the ship, the great them. Too much excited chatter curve of the planet lifted out of the washed around him-too much black, depthless reaches of space. laughter-too much companion­ It spread too broad to see it all at ship in which he had no part. once. It seemed to fill the universe. Central Middeck was a great ex­ Griscomb wedged himself up to panse of green-sown sod and clus­ the transparent barrier. They'll tered shrubs and gardens. The call it Viking Colony, he thought. only place aboard ship where green And it will be their colony. But I things grew in moist, solid earth. brought them here. They can't take Children ran and -played noisily that away. Not like my ship or my among the shrubs, too young yet star. It's the one thing they can't to know of their stolen heritage­ take away. happy still with the bright, spon­ It was a good world, wrapped taneous laughter and the wonder­ in rich, good air, and the conti­ ful, endless days of childhood. nents were green and embroidered Griscomb walked on. He with blue lakes and rivers, and should go back down to his office white with the snow on the crests -do the final task. Not yet, of mountains. though. It could wait. There was I brought them here, he time, now. Time to be human for thought. I brought them here. a little while. He turned away. His elbow He went on, along the broad brushed a sleeve. ways to the end, where Middeck "Why, Foster!" he exclaimed. met the Viking's hull. But Mid­ "It's been a long time." deck, there again, was different It had been a long time. Ninety from the other levels of the ship. four years. Foster Simes had been THE VOYAGE WlllCH IS ENDED 35 his chief assistant when he was "It's all right," Griscomb said. managing a steel factory in Ven­ Siff stood uncertainly a mo­ ture Colony IV. They had been ment, the cushion dangling in his friends, back in those distant days hand. Griscomb took the cushion when there had been time for and put it back on the couch. He friends. But that was a century fluffed it back into shape. past, and eighteen light years dis­ He turned back to his valet. tant. "You've never really liked your job The man-Foster's face hadn't here, have you," he said mildly. changed a line-glanced at him. Siff backed away a step. "Well, A pause. Then, "Yes. It has been. I don't reallv know, sir . . . I A very long time. It's good to see . . . " He sh.ifted his weight from you again, Captain." one foot to the other, then back Griscomb shook his head. "No," again. he said quietly. ''I'm not Captain Griscomb stopped him with a any more. The ship's in orbit. The gesture. "It's all right," he said. He job's over." smiled. "That's all right, too. I "All over!" Foster Simes echoed wouldn't have any respect for a grandly. "Well!" He laughed buoy­ man who did like it. It's that kind antly, then. "That means you're of a job." out of a job." He laughed some "Oh no, sir," Siff protested. more. He stopped when he realized "Really, I . . ." Griscomb wasn't going to laugh. "It's all right, Hammond," Gris­ "All over," Griscomb repeated. comb repeated. "The job's over The two men stood staring at now." each other. If there was anything He offered his hand. "I've been left to say, neither knew what it glad to have you," he said. was. Hammond Siff hesitantly ac­ "Well . . ." Foster stuck out a cepted the grip. "Will there be hand. "It's been good to have seen anything, sir?" you again," he said, edging away, Griscomb looked at him curi­ a little embarassed. "It's been a ously. He shook his head. "No. longtime." Nothing more. The job's over. I'm "Yes. It has," Griscomb said. "A not a Captain-you're not a valet. long time." You can go now, any time you He watched the man walk away. want." He went down to his quarters. Still Hammond Siff hesitated. Hammond Siff unlimbered from "You can move out of your quar­ the couch by lanky stages. His foot ters any time you want," Griscomb brushed a cushion off on the floor. told him. "Register with Assign­ He bent guiltily to recover it. ments whenever you feellike it." · 36 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION Siff watched him, frowning. Now was the last of it-the "You really mean it?" he won­ final task. He glanced around the dered. "Move out of my quarters room-oddly empty with only • • . ?" Ruth, there at her desk, and Ruth "Or stay there, if you like," watching him and wanting to speak Griscomb shrugged. ''I'm not giv­ questions but remaining pensively ing orders any more. The rest of silent. the ship is pretty crowded. As far He smiled momentarily, and as I'm concerned, you can do as for a moment he· looked truly you like." young. The moment passed. "Ruth "Well, it is a nice room," Siff -help me clean out my desk?" he admitted. "The only thing . • ." asked. "And then we'll clean out Yes, Griscomb thought. Who yours." wants to live next door to a man "All right." She rose, gravely who used to be Captain? "I'll be watching him. moved out tomorrow," he said. It was the last job, and it was a ''Yes, sir." Siff backed toward hard one. To open the drawers of the door apologetically. his desk and separate the personal, "Sir?" private things from those others "Yes. What is it?" which had been a part of his work. "It's over. I mean, it really is It was like breaking off a piece of over, isn't it." his life. "Yes," Grisc.omb breathed. "It's It wasn't easy, deciding which really over." was the Captain's and what was Then Siff was gone. his own. That letter of Paolo Len­ ski's, for instance. Griscomb had Griscomb changed into clothes found it on his desk the first time that didn't look like a uniform. He he came through the door. He had hadn't worn the outfit for a long kept it all these years. time, and he had a hard time find­ ing it because he didn't know how Ralph- Siff had been storing his clothes. -you will need more than the But the suit was clean and pressed luck 1 wish you. Much more. But and there wasn't a trace of all the the rest will be on'your shoulders, time it had lain in the drawer. Siff and 1 can neither advise nor cau­ had been a good valet, and Gris­ tion you. comb regretted losing him. But if 1were to give one rule by Freshly clad, he went back to which to test the acts of your re­ his office. Ruth was there at her sponsibility, it would be this: that desk, waiting, doing nothing be­ the purpose in being of your ship, cause there was nothing to do. the Viking, is to establish a human THE VOYAGE WHICH IS ENDED 37 colony on the world of some new There was surprisingly little in star-and more, that this colony the desk and in the office he could in its tum shall be a steppingstone call his own, in spite of all the across the galaxy, toward other long years he had been in it. When stars and colonies. Ruth finished putting things back Whatever you propose to do in their drawers, a humblingly which will advance this goal­ small pile was left. that will be good. Whate1•er might He began distributing his impair that goal in any way should things among his pockets. Bits of never be considered. trivia and remembrance . • • For the rest, your judgment "What will you do now?" Ruth must decide. I wish you luck and asked. the success of your voyage. But it The last thing was a paper­ is not so much luck you will need. weight. Griscomb picked it up and And so I wish you wisdom, too. weighed it in his hand. "Does it Paolo matter?" he shrugged. He dropped the weight in a pocket. Griscomb folded the hand­ "Please," she persisted. "I know scrawled message and slipped it I'm being curious, but I do want to back in the envelope. It had been know." addressed to him, and even after The paperweight was bulky in all these years he could imagine the pocket. He took it out and held the small blond man speaking it in his hand again, trying to de­ those words to him. But the mes­ cide what to do with it. "I hadn't sage-that was to the office he no thought about it until today," he longer held. Griscomb put it admitted. "Now, all of a sudden, on his desk, exactly where he had there's nothing to do." found it almost a century before. He hefted the papenveight and The V ikiug would be going on, decided. He set it back on the desk. some day. Perhaps he would com­ The room was cleaned and neat mand it. It would be good to re­ and it looked just the way it had turn to this office and find the let­ looked the first time he saw it, ter waiting for him like an old ninety-two years ago. friend. It would make re-entering "I think I'll be a hunter,'' he the office like returning home. Or, murmured. "At least for a while." if someone else took command of "That's dangerous, isn't it?" the Viking on her second voyage "Most things are," he said care­ -well, whoever it might be would lessly. "I've hunted before. My first understand why it was there, and colony, I was a hunter." the advice was better than any he, "But there are so many things Griscomb, could give. you could do," she objected. 38 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTIOK "I guess it's about time I started ways were crowded, and the doors from the bottom again." He smiled of the Assignments office were slightly. "What do you care?" open wide. She didn't answer. Instead, she It was crowded inside. Already, said, "You don't have to start there. though the public announcement You could be a fanner, or work in had not come, the transition was the mines, or drive some kind of beginning. The change from one machine. You wouldn't have to way of life to another. hunt. Hunting is . . . it's such a He hesitated at the threshold, lonely job." and he knew he could not go in "I know," he admitted over­ there with all the others. He could casually. He shrugged, and let his notface them. Not yet. Not now. shoulders slump. "I didn't make Slowly, he walked away. many friends at this job," he ad­ He came, finally, to the end of mitted. the corridor, and there was the She looked at him bravely. planet spread vastly before him, "You made some," she told him curved and tremendous and deep­ softly. ly exciting. The clots of people ''\Vhy, thank you, Ruth," he pressed against the invisible bar­ said, a little surprised, a little un­ rier, looking down at the world sure. where they would liYe. She avoided his eyes. He He stopped, momentarily thought he understood her words stunned by the sight of it. and her glances. But he paused. Almost at his feet, a woman was Now wasn't the time, he decid­ kneeling with her anns around two ed harshly. Later·, when the brass children in rompers. "You see it?" had tarnished more, when the she was telling them, pretending brightness of the office he had excitement. "You see? That's held had faded more-then would where you're going to live." be time. Yes, thought Griscomb. Live. He looked around the room And grow old. And die of age. for the last time. He took a deep He wished there could have breath. "Let's get your desk been another way. cleaned out," he said. "Let's get it The mellow bell tones sounded over with." from the speakers, and the voices She lowered her eyes. Her lip of the crowd stopped instantly. tightened. "Yes," she said hollowly. There was the hush of waiting for "Let's." the announcement heralded by the bells. And suddenly Griscomb Alone, he went up to Middeck heard his own voice speaking, as he to register with Assignments. The had put it on tape days before. THE VOYAGE WHICH IS ENDED 39 The planet we have found I! Her hand turned warm. "You habitable, and our ship is now itJ weren't in the Assignments office. orbit around it. Our l'oyage is 1-looked-1 thought you might over. We shall make our colony be here." here. He nodded. Yes. Of course he My work is ended. We are here, would be here. and here my commission ends. I am Her hand rested easily on his no longer your Captain, nor do I arm. It was very natural, very hold any office or post of author­ sure. She looked out at the planet. ity aboard this ship or anywhere. "Ralph," she murmured grave­ From today, I am only a plain citi­ ly. "Remember this. You brought zen-one of you. us here. That's one thing that can't I have always done what I be­ be changed. You brought us lieved to be best. I have made mis­ here." takes alld there have been in jus­ Yes, he thought heavily. tices, and I regret them. Some I Brought you here. But I could have favored, and others I have never make you build a colony. hurt, but I am not apologizing for That will be the important thing, my actions. Nor do I defend and that I cannot do. them. There have been times Quietly, aloud, he said. "Build­ when my decisions have seemed ing isn't something you can do just harsh and unsympathizing. Ag~in with authority, Ruth. That's all I I can only say I have acted as I be­ ever had. Authority. It's not lieved right. enough. The men they need now We are about to found a colony. are leaders." I hope and believe it will be as "What?" she frowned. She did­ good a colony as any in the past. n't understand. That will be up to you. My work He didn't understand. The is done-I ha~·e brought you here. planet was before him. Ruth was Your work is abuut to begin. beside him. It \vas almost enough, just for that moment-looking The moment Griscomb's voice down-seeing the great seas blue stopped, Green Tcpperman was in the light of the warming sun, speaking. He began quickly to and the ripe, green land full with sketch out the structure of the new the promise of fertility, and moun­ command. Griscomb didn't listen. tains straining their snow swept He looked out at the world he had peaks toward space • . . brought them to. But, as the moment died, seeing He felt a light hand on his arm. on beyond-the far, unfeeling "Why, Ruth ... " stars. This warm and funny little story about a pair of blood­ brothers whose mutual affection was stronger than death is by a junior at Chico State College, California. "I am 22 years old," Fred Benton writes, "and a biology mafor. My interests, aside from reading and writing all forms of the , in· elude hunting, fishing, and tennis . . . During the summer I work for the California Division of Forestry, driving fire-fight­ ing vehicles. As a result, I have come to know and love Smoky the Bear ... MUMBWE JONES will be my first published story in any magazine, and I certainly want to follow through." We're sure the readers tvill, too.


by Fred Benton

THE FISH, AN EXCEEDINGLY UN· line, inspected the dangling rusty handsome variety -of mudcat, hooks, and-with a grunt of dis­ flopped against the Congo trader's gust-jammed the outfit into his feet, cocked one eye, and said very jacket. distinctly, in Swahili: "Throw me He reached for his knife. He back!" picked up the fish and slit the bel· Socko Jones, who had seen ly open, then severed the head and many unnatural things in his trav· peeled the skin back down to the cis, was not greatly distressed. He tail. kicked the fish to one side, saying: After awhile, feeling nourished ''Fish, I like you. You are a fine and strong, the trader slung his specimen and truly a fighter, but I tinkling and jangling packsack cannot return you to your family. onto his back. The grassy low hills You are all I have to eat. I am were vibrant with bird and insect ashamed to eat such a warrior, but noise as he walked steadily toward it is that or starve." He pulled in a the house of old Mumbwe, his few yards of old and ragged fish- black friend. He felt like a tune. 40 MUMBWE JONES 41 Old black Mumbwe, there high grass, a puff-adder stood up Old black Mumbwe Jones on its tail importantly. "Look at me, I'm a comin' through your trader!" it said. "Am I not a beau­ fields tiful big snake?" And passin' by your friends Socko squatted on his haunch· And a comin' closer, old man es. "Indeed you are," he said. bones; "What business are you on, lovely I'm bringin' booze, yessiree­ friend?" Lot's of booze for you and The reptile assumed a menac· me ••• ing position. It drew back, pre· pared to strike, and said, with a It was always nice to walk wicked smile "Oh, nothing im· through this country. It was the portant. I am merely seeking a man. best country he'd seen in all Africa. I must kill him before sundown, There were no stinging bees or you see, or old Mumbwe wi11 ants, and there was plenty of wa­ change me back into a worm." ter. And the animals, well, you "What is his name?" just couldn't find friendlier crea­ "Socko Jones," said the puff­ tures anywhere. You could walk adder. "Do you know him?" up to any of them and touch them Socko grinned. He scratched his -they didn't mind. Of course, white-thatched head, feigning em· Socko Jones was the only one who barrassment. "Poor little worm, could do it. And Mumbwe. forgive me; I killed him a short Mumbwe, of course, was responsi­ ways back, because he tried to steal ble for their mildness. He spoke my whiskey bottles." to any and all creatures. He loved "Aieeeee!" cried the puff-adder. them all, even the snakes, even "You lief" the lions. "No," said Socko. A second later Socko thought of these things as there was a bluish ftash and a loud he drew nearer to the place of his pop, and on the trail-where the companion. He smiled, remember­ puff-adder had been-was a tiny, ing a night long ago, when he had white worm, struggling indignant· mixed his blood with Mumbwe's. ly. They had sat staring into a won­ He walked on. He wondered derful fire, seeing great lion hunts what pranks old Mumbwe would and watching long-forgotten tribes play on him next. It was always dancing clearly in the Hames, amusing, this walk from the river and Socko was not afraid, because to the mud and reed house away he knew the old man's magic was up on the hill. You never knew good and would not hurt him. what Mumbwe had in store for As he rounded a bend in the you. 42 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION At the bottom of the hill, Socko waitin' for his booze to come. Too stopped. In front of him was the bad," he said, shaking his head, "I trail, sure enough, but square in hate to drink it all, but-" the center of it was a huge thorn With a sharp sucking swish of tree. The path went straight up to air, the thorn tree vanished. its base on the near side, and re­ "Weill" cried Socko. "Isn't that sumed again in an identical fash­ wonderful ..•" ion on the opposite side. It was A few minutes later he stood in perfectly obvious that no animal the doorway of Mumbwe's house. had detoured runabout, since the He patted its crumbling side. blades of grass to either side were "Hello, house. You are looking straight and juicy, and had not strong and happy today!" been stepped on. It was also per­ "Thank you," breathed the fectly clear, after a glance up­ warm mud and reed surface. wards, that nothing could have The trader eased the musical goneot1er. pack down off his sore, ancient Socko was about to go around, shoulders, and went inside. but there was a tremendous wail of terror as he lifted a foot. An hour later, the sun went The grass rippled as if in a high down. Night came like the black wind. "Please!" it cried. "Please leopard, stealing cautiously at first don't walk on us I" among the ravines and under the ''What do you suggest?" the waiting acacias, and then coming trader asked. on with a bold rush, covering, "You must be very wise," said smothering, blotting out the life of the writhing blades: "You must be day. The only warmth in that vel­ a great man, or old black Mumbwe vet expanse of forest and plain wouldn't let you come see him so was a small, guttering fire in the often. He even loves you enough house of old Mumbwe, turning to take one of your names for his first red, then amber, then bril­ own. Can't you find a way to get liant gold as he tossed his pow­ on the other side?" ders into the flames. He hugged his "Perhaps," said Socko. "But I treasures-empty whiskey flasks would have to drink much whiskey -against his thin, parchment before I could think of something. chest, and dreamed of what mis· I would need every bit that's in the chief he would work on his long­ pack to get a smart idea. It would dead friend Socko tomorrow, as all be gone, just to get around this he walked the path from the river tree, and that would be very sad, to the hill, talking with the animals because I know old Mumbwe is and birds, and singing the song sitting up there all alone, just he had made up so long ago. Handscomb Luldow Satherwaite 11, who seemed never to grow old, was president of Allied, a corporation which the word giant would merely dwarf, manufacturers of four thousand products, employers of one hundred and ninety­ three thousand happy toilers in its vineyards (metaphorically speaking); of which the hopeful and competent ]ortathan Gerber was one. There are those-cynics, croakers-who1 would claim that at the top of any pyramid Tyranny has its abode. One day Jonathan Gerbers faithful service received its award, and he was able to see for himself-at last. The By- 1 zantine Empire, historians , was kept alive for half a1 · millen-tum by its bureauocracy alone. THE TOP by George SOlDner Albee

'·9:07 A.M. TO JoNATHAN GER- Jonathan's, own head and shoul­ ber from L. Lester Leath,'" read ders. When or where he had been the pale green memorandum slip photographed he had no idea: re­ on the desk. "Kindly save your day cently, it must have been, for he for me. Attached is an elevator was wearing a tie he had just pass for your permanent posses- bought; evidently the company sion. Suggest you visit 13th Floor police had caught him with a fast this morning, but no higher. lens as he entered or left the build­ LLL." ing. "Miss Kindhands," he spoke "So-after all these years," said to his secretary over the intercom, Jonathan to himself as he drew "cancel my appointments. Mr. the pass, the first he had ever actu- Leath wants me to stand by." ally touched, from its glassine en- The golden pyramid in his hand, velope. It was, of course, a minia- he strode down the lustrous corri­ ture pyramid. One metal surface dor to the elevator bank. ''Thir­ bore the firm name, Allied, the teen," he said. other a photoengraving of his, The elevator operator, though 01953, b11 Whll BUITI8H & Hallie Burnett 43 44 FANTASY AND SCIE:\CE FICTIO:-i he had known his face and his glass in the ceiling. There were no fuzzy Harris tweed suit for years, windows anywhere in the build­ faltered in alarm. ing, and the radiance entering "It's all right,'' Jonathan as­ through the glass brick might have sured him, and turned over his come from deftly concealed elec­ hand to show the pass. tric lamps; there was nothing to "Yes, sir," said the man. He prove it was daylight. breathed the two words as a musi­ "Fantasy," Jonathan had re­ cian might breathe two soft, low buked himself. "I'm lucky; phe­ notes on a flute. Then he came to nomenally lucky. Here I am, only attention, shut the bronze door twenty-seven, at Allied! Anybody and pushed his button. else would give his eye teeth to be "Fourteen years, or is it six­ where I am." Nowadays he used teen?" murmured Jonathan to him­ colloquialisms to capture more self, and descended, even as the readers for his ads, but in the elevator carried him upward in past he had used them innocently power and prestige, through the for pleasure. tiers of memory to his first days in He bad been a copywriter in a the building. New York advertising agency He recalled, smiling, how he when one afternoon the firm's had had his doubts about the ele­ senior partners had called him in vators. As morning after morning and told him that the almost leg­ they had lifted him to the adver­ endary firm in Minnesota wanted tising department on the eighth to hire him. If Jonathan refused floor he had felt against all reason the paltry gift of himself, it had that there was· trickery, that he been made clear, the agency was being carried not up but might henceforth find it embar­ down, down, down into catacombs rassing to employ him. So might beneath Allied's gigantic stepped­ other agencies. So, feeling like an back pyramid. The little electric Aztec youth chosen for the stone bulbs in the car blinking 1 and 2 altar, honored but doubtful, he and 3 had not convinced him he bad taken the train for Minne­ was travelling upward; the motion sota, finding chocolates and crim­ was so smooth nothing could be son roses in his stateroom. Oh, felt; when the noiseless door there had been qualms. opened nobody could have said Nor had his first impression of where he was. Long empty corri­ L. Lester Leath been reassuring. dors, narrow as the galleries of a Leath's soundproof office with its mine, stretched away without end, pale gray paint and pale gray their plastic panels gleaming un­ furniture, its glass brick glowing der the light from squares of milk with the dim light that might be THE TOP 45 sunshine and might not, had been prove certain items for the ulti­ rather like a bank of fog. And it mate benefit of the consumer, Mr. bad been difficult to tell where and Mrs. America. Your subject the fog left off and Leath himself will be Allied itself. I have began. His face was the color of brought you to us because you mist, his hair might have been have a nice flair for words. I was aluminum on which moisture had deeply stirred by your headline for condensed, his white fingers had the shotgun ad-A Lad and His moved across his desk like small Dog. And the little piece you wraiths, while his voice had the wrote for the diaper people, what soft, mournful boom of a deep­ did you call it?-Babies Are Fall­ toned steamer whistle heard across en Stars. Just give me words like miles of veiled sea. that for Allied. Give me patriot­ It had taken Jonathan awhile ism, friendship, nobility, love-" to become accustomed to Leath's Thus, fourteen years ago­ voice and its miracles of misty could it be sixteen, could it be circumlocution. "What will my seventeen?-Jonathan had begun job be?" he had asked, and Leath his task of writing, for millions of had replied that jobs were for the newspaper readers, little essays lowly and words were not to be without subjects. When his first used inaccurately. "I mean, what institutional copy appeared in will my work be?" Jonathan had print he had feared that people corrected himself. And Leath had would laugh. But nobody had answered: "Work! Ah, work! It laughed. On the contrary, letters was work which made the fathers of praise had come in from every of our nation on the land. corner of the country. His ad It was work which made America which listed George Washing­ what it is today, the light and ton's virtues and named Allied beacon of a troubled world. Pe~ as their modern inheritor had ple have grown soft, they ask se­ won the National Advertising curity. Ah, the best security, the Council's platinum-and-ruby med­ only security is work." A third al. His ad stating that Allied time, Jonathan had tried. And conducted its business affairs ac­ Leath had said: "What products cording to precepts learned from will you advertise'? My boy, Al­ a toilworn mother's lips by Hon­ lied has no products. Let us say est Abe Lincoln had been singled rather that Allied creates and de­ out for a special scroll by the velops semi-finished materials Junior Chamber of Commerce. which enable small manufactur­ Ever since, he had been writing ers, under the free enterprise sys­ such pieces with a growing ap­ tem, to enrich or otherwise im- preciation of their worth, el~ 46 FANTASY AND SCIE"'CE FICTION quence and dignity. And mean­ their restaurant, their small three­ while L. Lester Leath had shown bed hospital. "I see the hospital him only admiration and kindli­ has its own elevator," he observed ness, and Allied had raised his to the guard. "If a man dies at his salary from ten thousand dollars desk you can get him out of the a year to seventeen-five and from building without anybody getting seventeen-five to twenty-three-two. so much as a peek at him." Each year he was awarded, in "The Planning Board doesn't addition, a bonus of Class C slip up on many details, sir," re­ preferred stock which he would plied the man. forfeit only if he left the company Jonathan, in his fourth or fifth before retirement age. year with the company, had had He was expected on the thir­ a personal encounter with Al­ teenth floor. A burly young guard, lied's precision technique for just in a gray uniform, no doubt a re­ such fatalities. One day in the cruit from a college football squad, elevator an engineer named Jacks saluted him. "Mr. Gerber? I'm to had paled, gasped and fallen. show you anything you want to While Jonathan knelt over him see," he said deferentially. the operator had stopped the car "I don't really know what I between floors, telephoning calm­ want to see, I'm afraid," said ly to the starter in the lobby for Jonathan, smiling. "This is my instructions; then the cage had first visit." dropped fast and deep into the "Mr. Leath· said you might like cellars. Guards with a stretcher me to introduce you to the divi­ had met it. sional managers, sir." ''I'm afraid he's dead," Jona­ "Then let's do that," replied than had said. Jonathan equably. "By all means." "Oh, no sir," the chief guard The guard marched ahead, had replied. "He's fainted, that's opening bronze doors. In fifteen all, or else he's indisposed." divisional office suites Jonathan "You'll get him right to a doc­ shook hands with eight bald thin tor?" men and seven bald fat men. "Just step back into the car, These were not the directors. sir," the chief had said. These were merely the decision­ That had been all there was to and-risk-takers, devoted family it. Later Jonathan had been un­ men who were paid a hundred able to pry an unequivocal an­ thousand a year and died early, of swer from the elevator operator, coronary attacks. Jonathan in­ from the guards, from anybody. spected their graph room, their On the obituary page of the news­ elaborate communications room, paper, on the third day, there TilE TOP 47 had been a brief paragraph to the He would have the answer effect that one D. M. Jacks, engi­ soon enough, he told himself, neer "of this city," had passed whatever it might be. With a away, but not so much as a word shrug he took the pass from his had indicated that the man pocket, scrutinized his likeness on worked for Allied. Jacks had sim­ it, and laughed. Gone, gone were ply disappeared. The company the waxen curls of youth! In rem­ did not ignore death, it by-passed iniscent, sentimental mood he it. When a man died his assistant tried to recall how he had looked took his place. In a corporation at twenty-seven. He could not with tens of thousands of em­ manage it. "But I do remember," ployes somebody was bound to he said to himself with a smile, die every day, and work could not "that I was skeptical. Oh, was I be repeatedly interrupted. skeptical!" He had, he remem­ Back once more on his own bered, in his suspicion of the ele­ floors, Jonathan put his head into vators, actually paced off the cor­ Leath's handsomely decorated an­ ridors to make sure the lower teroom. "If he wants me," he said, floors of the pyramid were broad­ "I'm back." er than the upper. He had done "The doctor is with him now," worse than that. He had played said Miss Tablein, Leath's con­ truant from his desk to explore fidential secretary. "But stay near the cellars-finding, of course, your phone, please." nothing evil, finding nothing at At his desk, with nothing to do all. but wait and stare at the reader­ Then-Jonathan recalled, acceptance graphs on the wall, smiling-having learned what he Jonathan asked himself what could about the building he had could be in the wind. Leath was tried to discover what Allied's anything but impulsive; the per­ products were. Flair for words or manent pass, the visit to Thirteen not, it had seemed absurd to him were in themselves a promotion. at first to write ads without know­ Nothing lay above Thirteen but ing what they were about. And he Fourteen, since nobody at all was had been able to learn a little. He permitted to go up to Fifteen had found, for example, that the where the president's suite filled company's four thousand prod­ the pyramid's tip. Was he, Jona­ ucts bore alphabetic names rang­ than wondered, actually to join ing from Aab, an adulterant for the Planning Board? He could milk-shakes, to Zyz, which were rise no higher in the advertising rotors for tractor magnetos. But department without taking Leath's his collection of Aabs and Zyzes own job. had soon bored him. FANTASY AND SCIE:\CE FICTION The buzzer on his desk, tuned if Mr. Waffen really has a gold­ to G Sharp, sounded. With the plated toilet seat." dexterity of practice Jonathan "I will," promised Jonathan; lifted his telephone from its cra­ but he knew he would not tell. dle and perched it like a parrakeet He ate lunch with two of his on his shoulder. assistants, younger men still in "Gerber here," he said. their indoctrination period. The It was Leath's secretary. "The grapevine telegraph, he discovered doctor is still with him," she said. to his amusement, had already "His ulcers must be unusually bad tapped out the news of his golden this morning, or maybe he's been pass. The boys showed him hearing the ticking again. But I scrubbed, bright, eager faces; they have some instructions for you. writhed each time he opened his Kindly have your lunch, make a mouth, out of respect. tour of Fourteen at one o'clock Shortly after one he rode up to and report back here at two." Fourteen in the elevator. It was "What's cooking, Miss Ta­ noticeably smaller than Thirteen; blein?" Jonathan asked her. The evidently the step-back was sharp­ secretaries regarded slang as evi­ er than it appeared from the dence of democracy and passed street. Another guard, saluting, the word around that you were informed him that there were adorable, if you used it. A girl eight directors' offices and a con­ worked away her fingernails and ference room, and that he was her youth for a boss who was suf­ free to go anywhere he liked. ficiently adorable. "They're worth seeing, sir," he "l don't know," Miss Tablein added. And they were. Several answered. "It must be important, offices had barber chairs, gigantic though. A Major Project." television receivers and bars "I eat my lunch at twelve with stocked with private blends. One the Junior Executive Group, you had a cigar humidor the size of a know. The directors don't go out bank vault, one a target range for to lunch until a quarter past one. air pistols, one a Finnish sauna If I go up to Fourteen while bath. The most interesting was a they're out the place will be de­ room which duplicated the after­ serted. \Vhat does he want me to deck of a cabin cruiser, complete do up there, do you know?" with angling chair and a rack for "Just look around, I guess," rods and reels. Not an assistant, said Miss Tablein. "I wish I were not a secretary was to be seen. Not going with you. Mr. Gerber, prom­ a memorandum desecrated the ise me one thing. Promise me, rich polished wood of the vast when you get back, you'll tell me desks. THE TOP 49 "Tell me," Jonathan said to course; they put them on as a the guard, ''how often do these demonstration of equality, as wise Planning Board men come in?" old Leath had patiently explained "Well, they're here for the an­ to him more than once. nual meeting, sir," replied the Thanking the guard, he went man. "Otherwise they come in down again. "It's 1:5 5," he said, only when Mr. Satherwaite sends putting his bald head into Leath's for them, I guess." Hanscomb anteroom. Ludlow Satherwaite II was Al­ "Come in and wait here," said lied's president, who had his suite Miss Tablein, peering over her in the point of the pyramid and glasses. "Tell me. Oh, you must who was photographed, growing tell me! Is it really-" no older in the photographs from "Our directors work much too year to year, but never seen. hard," said Jonathan, his tone "Do any of them live in Minne­ disapproving, "for any such non­ sota? Forgive my curiosity. This sense. But of course I understand is my first visit." you were just having a little fun." The guard chuckled. "Why, "Oh, I did so want to know!" sir, you're forgetting they all have Was Miss Tablein's loyalty planes and pilots nowadays. Mr. questionable? She might just pos­ lppinger, now, he has four hun­ sibly, said Jonathan to himself, dred thousand acres in Louisiana prove to be a dangerous fellow he keeps for the shrimping, so he worker. He read Dear Folks, the lives there. Mr. Latchwell owns Allied house organ, until the sig­ an island off the coast of Mexico; nal lamp flashed and Miss Ta­ he has a castle and a little army; blein said he might go in. Good that's why he wears his red and news or bad-and he scarcely blue uniforms and his leather saw how it could be bad-he boots with the stars on them." would have it now. "I've seen Mr. Latchwell in the "Good afternoon, my son," said elevators, of course/' L. Lester Leath. Jonathan at one time or an­ His face was as white as a other had glimpsed most of the sheet of the Gga the company portly, imposing directors. There manufactured as an intermediate was one, undoubtedly the fisher­ for the dentifrice industry, and man, who wore white canvas smudged with shadow. One cor­ trousers and a white cap with a ner of his mouth sagged. His left green celluloid bill. Another went eye was an owl's, the pupil enor­ bare-toed in rawhide sandals for mous and fierce. his health. There was method be­ "Lester!" cried Jonathan, hind their little eccentricities, of shocked. "You're ill!" 50 FANT.\SY AND SCIESCE FICTION ''I'm not ill, I'm dying," re­ "It's been such a joy to serve plied the advertising manager Allied that I haven't counted the without emotion. "I will die at years," said Jonathan. He had my desk this afternoon, presuma­ learned well. Such pronounce­ bly within the next five or ten ments were now effortless for minutes." him. But it was a bit of a blow "Let me drive you home!" nevertheless: "Has it really been "No; I want it this way," said so long?" he asked. Leath in a voice that was a wisp "It has, my son," said Leath, of fog. "I want my death, as well the sagging lip blurring his voice. as my life, to be a demonstration "And I know I leave the depart­ of service to Allied and all that ment in good hands. Did you go it stands for. But time is short, up to Thirteen?" my son. Tomorrow morning an "Yes; of course." Inter-Office l\lemo, Form 114B "Fourteen?" Blue, will announce that you are "Of course. It was your order." succeeding me as chief of the de­ Leath swayed. With an effort partment. You'll start at fifty he gathered together his failing thousand. Your stock bonus will energy. "Before you take over," be comparable." he said, his voice fading, "there is "Thank you, Lester." one more thing, one final rite. "Your first act of office, I hope, You must meet our President. Go will be to hire ·an assistant who up to Fifteen." He sagged on his blazes with our sacred fire. I sug­ executive's posture chair. gest that you do what I did-comb "Lester!" Jonathan sprang for­ the agencies for a young Jonathan ward. Gerber and train him, as for Ever so slowly, Leath raised a twenty-one years I have trained white forefinger towards the ceil­ you." ing. "Fifteen," he whispered, and It was a gray afternoon. No died. sunlight at all was filtering Tenderly Jonathan closed be­ through the glass brick. The room, hind him the soundproof door that it seemed to Jonathan, was crowd­ was now his own. "Miss Ta­ ed with bars of fog lying one on blein," he said, "please call the top of another like two-by-twelves janitor. Mr. Leath is no longer stacked in a lumber yard. In with Allied." dimness, in shimmer and shadow Down the corridor, at the ele­ L. Lester Leath's face came and vator bank, a car appeared the in­ went, an 1mage floating free in stant he pressed the button, al­ space, bobbling lazily like a barrel most as if news of his eminence on a foggy sea. had somehow travelled down the THE TOP 51 dark shaft along the bell wire. dred and ninety-three thousand "The top," he directed the opera­ Allied fellow workers were turn­ tor brusquely, exhibiting his pass ing out four thousand products. the merest flick. Here at the center of the country The little lamps blinked; the sat this colossal pyramid which door slid open. was the center of the whole thing; "But I said I wanted the top," here on the topmost floor of the Jonathan protested indignantly. pyramid clicked the mind which He was the advertising manager; in its genius comprehended and he earned fifty thousand a year; guided all. And here, here was he, his time was too valuable to Allied Jonathan Gerber, about to shake for him to permit a menial to the hand of supremacy! Eyes waste it. "This is Fourteen, not alight, shoulders squared, Jona­ Fifteen." than dropped his pass into the thin "Sorry, sir," said the operator. slot, walked through the door and "This is as high as we go. Speak shut it after him. to the guard." Facing him was a simple stair­ "I will indeed!" shouted Jona­ case of painted steel with a hand­ than. The guard was already at rail. Climbing it, past rough walls his elbow; the chap who had con­ of orange hollow tile which had ducted him through the director's not been plastered, he marveled. suites. "What is this?" Jonathan How fitting that Mr. Satherwaite, demanded of him. "I want Fif­ with his immeasurable power, teen, damn it!" should despise its trappings! "Quite right, sir. Over here, Many and many a time, in his sir," said the guard. He led the writings, Jonathan had said that way to a plain bronze door with Allied's president was a simple neither knob nor keyhole. "Just man, and as always the fiction drop your pass into this slot. It had created the fact: he was. At operates an electrical circuit and the top of the staircase he stepped opens the door. You do the same onto a bare concrete floor littered thing on the other side when you with scraps of building paper, pots come down." of dried paint and dead flies. The "Do you mean to say," asked air smelt like a Stilton cheese. Try­ Jonathan, incredulous, "Mr. Sath­ ing a door at his left, he peered erwaite walks this last flight each into a black cavern in which time he comes up here?" greased steel elevator cables "I've never seen him, sir, but he slipped over great spoked wheels. must." He tried a door at his right and From coast to coast hundreds of gazed into another cavern exactly Allied plants were awhir, a hun- like it. 52 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION For five minutes, for ten, he seen at all, it was blue with cold. stood in the musty heat turning And more snow was coming, and slowly round and round, looking more cold. For it was true that for he knew not what-a secret summer was a vacation, an inter­ door, a cache, a blackboard on lude; winter was the reality, the which his predecessors might have constant companion; winter lay left, if nothing more, at least their ever a few miles to the north, wait­ signatures. But he saw only the ing to reclaim its property. Blue paint pots, the flies and four small lay the earth, veined with white windows like round eyes, one in like the deep sea, and the veins each inward-sloping wall. Cob­ were ice. webs and grime covered the win­ "So cold, so cold-" murmured dows; but here and there on them, Jonathan, and shivered. he saw, the scurf had been rubbed And, slapping the dust from his away, as by a sleeved elbow. Step­ warm, fuzzy tweed suit, he sum­ ping to the nearest he broadened moned as raiment for his face awe the clear spot on it and looked out. and dedication in the proper pro­ He saw a segment of the town, portions and tramped down the which might have been a ram­ staircase, his heels ringing on the shackle clutter of blackened painted steel, bits of plaster gritty boards, and, beyond that, the end­ as sand beneath his sole. His less plain of Minnesota. And he hand, all the way, cherished the saw, something he had forgotten, safety-rail. that it was winter on the prairie. "This would be no time to slip Dry snow, driven by the wind, and fall," he warned himself cau­ smoked over farmhouses and tiously. "No, no, I mustn't slip fences. Where the land could be now."



(on sale August 2) SCIENCE 0

A lady readet·, protesting the absence from the April issue of Ferdinand Feghoot, warned us that we "musn't let Asimov have all the puns." That savant himself describes the title of this article as being one of his "less unbearable" efforts in this ltne-which is as it may be. "Light," as used by Lord Byron in the phrase's first appearance, was not a noun, but an ad­ fective describing a dance step. Dr. A.-like the poetic peer a master of language and an admirer of pretty insteps-with his usual insouciance, converts the phrase to his own uses . . . some of which are pretty damned fantastic, at that. And, of course, fascinating.


by Isaac Asimov

WHEN 1 WAS YOUNG, WE CHILDREN USED TO LISTEN TO SOMETHING called "radio." It's a hard thing to describe to the modern p:,pulation, but if you imagine a television set with the picture-tube permanently out of order, you've got the essentials. On the radio set, there was a dial you could turn in order to tune in the various stations and the dial had markings numbered from 55 to 160. As far as I know, nobody I knew had any idea what those num­ bers meant-or cared. A particular radio station might describe itself as possessing "880 kilocycles" and, eventually, I deduced that the numbers on the radio dial referred to tens of kilocycles, but again I never bumped into any­ one (when I was young) who knew or cared with a kilocycle was. 53 54 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTIO:>O In faot, as I look back upon it now, I don't think I knew or cared myself. I could dial any radio station I wanted with quick sureness and I had the radio schedule memorized. What more could I want? And yet, if you consider the dial of a radio set, and proceed by free association, you can end up with some pretty amazing matters, as I shall try to show you. I'll begin with waves.

The most important waves in the universe are set up by oscillating electric charges. Since all electric charges have associated magnetic fields, the radiating waves produced in this fashion are called "electro­ magnetic." Electromagnetic waves radiate outward from the point of origin, moving at the velocity of light; which is not surprising, since light is itself an electromagnetic radiation. Each oscillation of the electric charge back and forth gives rise to a single wave and from this fact we can calculate the length of the wave to which it gives rise. The length of a wave is called, with commendable simplicity, the "wavelength" and it is usually symbolized by the Greek letter "lambda." I know better than to present the printer with any such demand and so I will use "w" as the symbol for wavelength. Now suppose the electric charge oscillates once per second. By the time the end of the wave is formed at the completion of the oscillation, the beginning· of the wave has been speeding out through space at the velocity of light for one full second. The velocity of light in a vacuum is 186,200 miles second or, in the metric system, which I shall use exclusively in this article, 300,000 kilometers per second. If, therefore, it takes a second to form the wave, the beginning of the wave is 300,000 kilometers ahead of the end of the wave and the wa'\·elength is 300,000 kilometers. Suppose the electric charge oscillates twice per second. Then in one second two waves are formed. Together they stretch out over 300,000 kilometers and each wave is 150,000 kilometers long; 150,000 kilo­ meters is therefore the wavelength. If the electric charge oscillates ten times per second, each wave is 30,000 kilometers long. If it oscillates fifty times per second the wave­ length is 6,000 kilometers and so on. The number of oscillations per second can be called the "frequency" and this is usually symbolized by the Greek letter "nu." I will use the letter "f." As you see what I have been doing in order to work out the wave­ length of electromagnetic radiation is to divide the velocity of light THE LIGHT FANTASTIC 55 (usually represented by "c") by the frequency of the radiation. Put this in equation form and you have:


If you know the wavelength and want to find the frequency, you need only solve for "f" in the equation above, and you have:


Thus, if the wavelength is 15 kilometers, then the frequency is 300,000/ 15 or 20,000 oscillations per second.

A frequency of one oscillation per second can be described as one cycle. A frequency of a thousand oscillations per second can be de­ scribed as one kilocycle (the prefix "kilo-" being used in the metric sys­ tem to represent "one thousand"). If then, radio station WNBC in New York is located at 660 kilocycles (or at 66 on the dial) then that means the wave it puts out has a frequency of 660,000 oscillations per second. The wavelength of those waves is 300,000/660,000 or 0.4 55 kilometers. This is equivalent to 4 55 meters. In the same way, we can calculate the wavelengths of the waves put out by some other New York radio stations:

Kilocycles Wm1ele11gth (meters)

won 710 425 WABC 770 390 WNYC 830 360 WCBS 880 340 WNEW 1,130 265 WQXR 1,560 190

Notice that the wavelength gets shorter as the kilocycles increase; which is why, if we go up high enough on the dial, we end up with "short-wave radio." One way of expressing this relationship is to say that frequency and wavelength are inversely proportional to each other; as one goes up, the other goes down. An electromagnetic radiation can have any wavelength, as far as \ve know, since a charged particle can oscillate at any frequency. There is no upper limit to the wavelength, certainly, for the oscillation can be 56 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION slowed down tt) zero, in which case the wavelength approaches the infinite. On the other hand, electric charges can be made to oscillate millions of times per second by man. Atoms can oscillate trillions of times a second. Electrons can oscillate quadrillions and even quintillions of times per second. Nuclear particles can oscillate sextillions and even septillions of times per second. Wavelengths can get shorter and shorter, with no limit in theory. The properties of electromagnetic radiation vary with frequency. For one thing, the radiation is put out in discrete little bundles called "quanta" and the energy content of one quantum of a particular radia­ tion is in direct proportion to its frequency. As frequency goes up (and wavelength down) the radiation becomes more energetic and can in­ teract more thoroughly with matter. Short-wave radiation may knock electrons out of metals where longer­ wave, less energetic, radiation will not, and this is known as the photo­ electric effect. (Einstein explained the rationale behind the photoelec­ tric effect in I90 5, the same year in which he first advanced his theory of relativity; and when he got his Nobel Prize in I92I, it was for ex­ plaining the photoelectric effect, not for relativity.) Again, short-wave radiation will bring about certain chemical changes where long-wave radiation will not, which is why you can de­ velop ordinary photographic film under a red light. The red light radia­ tions are too low in energy to affect the negative. Certain ranges of radiation are energetic enough to affect the retina of the eye and give ·us the sensation we call light. Radiation less ener­ getic cannot be seen, but the energy can be absorbed by the skin and felt as heat. Radiation more energetic cannot be seen either, but can damage the retina and the skin.

It is convenient for physicists to divide the entire range of electro­ magnetic radiation (the "electromagnetic spectrum") into arbitrary re­ gions, and here they are in the order of increasing frequency and energy and, therefore, of decreasing wavelength. I) Micropulsations. These have frequencies of less than I cycle and, therefore, wavelengths of more than 300,000 kilometers. Such radia­ tion has been detected with frequencies of as little as O.OI cycle. This means that one oscillation takes I 00 seconds and the wavelength is 30,000,000 kilometers, or three-fourths of the way from here to Venus at its closest, which isn't bad for one wave. 2) Radio waves. In its broadest sense, this would include everything THE I.IGHT FANTASTIC 57 with frequencies from 1 cycle to 1 billion ( 1 0 11 ) cycles, and with wave­ lengths from 300,000 kilometers down to 30 centimeters. Actually. long-wave radio makes use of frequencies from 5 50,000 cycles to 1,600,000 cycles and wavelengths from 550 meters down to 185 me­ ters. Short-wave radio uses wavelengths in the 30 meter range, and television in the 3 meter range. 3) Micro waves. The frequencies are from 1 billion (1011 ) to 100 billion ( 1011 ) cycles and the wavelengths are from 30 centimeters to 0.3 centimeters. The radiation detected by radio telescopes is in this range and the radiation of the neutral hydrogen atom (the famous "song of hydrogen") has a wavelength of 21 centimeters. Radar also makes use of this range. 4) Infrared rays. The frequencies are from 100 billion (1 011 ) cycles to nearly a quadrillion (1014 plus) cycles and the wavelengths run from 0.3 centimeters to 0.000076 centimeters. Infrared wavelengths are usuaJly measured in microns, a micron being a ten-thousandth of a cen­ timeter, so the infrared wavelength range can be said to extend from 3,000 microns down to 0. 76 microns. 5) Visible light rays. These include a short stretch of frequencies just under the quadrillion mark (10111 minus), with wavelengths from 0.76 microns to 0.38 microns. Light wavelengths are usually measured in Angstrom units, one Angstrom unit being equal to a ten-thousandth of a micron. Thus, the wavelengths of visible light range from 7,600 Ang­ strom units down to 3,800 Angstrom units. 6) Ultraviolet rays. These include frequencies from a quadrillion (1015) cycles up to nearly a hundred quadrillion (1017 minus) cycles, and the wavelengths run from 3,800 Angstrom units down to about 100 Angstrom units. 7) X-rays. These include frequencies from nearly a hundred quadril­ lion (1017 minus) up to a hundred quintillion (1020), with wave­ lengths ranging from 100 Angstrom units down to 0.1 Angstrom units. 8) Gamma rays. These make up the frequencies that are more than a hundred quadrillion (1 020) cycles and wavelengths less than 0.1 Angstrom units. Actually, the dividing lines are anything but sharp, and x-rays and gamma rays, in particular, overlap generously. People speak of a par­ ticular frequency as being an x-ray if it is created in an x-ray tube and as a gamma ray if it is produced by a nuclear reaction. You can have soft gamma rays with wavelengths some 300 times as long as the hardest x-rays. However, a particular wavelength has a particular energy and a particular set of properties regardless of what you call it: x-ray, gamma 58 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION ray, or herring. By setting the boundary between x·rays and gamma rays at a frequency of a hundred quintillion cycles, I merely cut the overlap in half and am perfectly willing to admit the boundary is ar­ bitrary.

Now this is a bewildering array of frequencies and wavelengths and I wouldn't be me if I didn't look for an easier way of presenting it. The easier way is drawn from usage in connection with sound·waves. Sound·waves are not electromagnetic in nature, but they, too, have wavelengths and frequencies concerning which, if you are curious, you can read up on in my article NOW HEAR THIS! (F & SF, December, 1960). We detect differences in the frequency of sound waves, at least in the audible range, by differences in the pitch we hear. It is conventional in our culture to write music using a series of notes with fixed fre­ quencies. I will begin with the note on the piano which is called "middle C" and give its frequency and that of successive notes as we proceed toward the right on the keyboard, considering white keys only:

do- 264 Ia- 440 fa- 704 re- 297 ti- 495 sol- 792 mi- 330 do- 528 Ia- 880 fa- 352 re- 594 ti- 990 sol- 396 mi- 660 do- 1,056

Notice that the frequency of each "do" is just twice the frequency of the preceding one. In fact, starting anywhere on the keyboard, one can progress through seven notes of increasing frequency and end with an eighth note of just twice the frequency of the first. Such a stretch is called an "octave" from the Latin word for "eight." Applying this to any wave form in general, one can speak of an octave as applying to any continuous region stretching from a frequency of x to one of 2x. Since wavelength is inversely proportional to fre­ quency, every time a frequency is doubled, a wavelength is halved. Ev­ ery region stretching from a wavelength of y to one of y /2 is also an octave, therefore. So we can break up the electromagnetic spectrum into octaves. As an example, the longest wavelengths of v_isible light are 7,600 Ang­ strom units, while the shortest are 3,800 Angstrom units. The shortest wavelengths are just half the longest and so the range covered by visible light is equal to one octave of the electromagnetic spectrum. THE UGHT FANTASTIC 59 Since there is no upper or lower limit to the frequencies of the electro­ magnetic spectrum, the number of octaves is, theoretically, infinite. However, suppose we consider a wavelength of 30,000,000 kilometers as the practical maximum, since this is the longest micropulsation de­ tected, and a wavelength of 0.0001 Angstrom units as the practical minimum since beyond that lie the energy ranges associated with cosmic rays which are particulate rather than electromagnetic in nature (see TIIE BUG-EYED VONSTER, F & SF, June, 1960). The number of times you must halve 30,000,000 kilometers to reach 0.0001 Angstrom units is 81. (Try it and see, and remember that 1 kilometer equals 10,000,000,000,000 Angstrom units.) The portion of the electromagnetic spectrum I have marked off, therefore, is 81 oc­ taves long, and of that length, we see exactly 1 octave with our eyes. Now let's measure off the confusing divisions of the electromagnetic spectrum in octaves and the picture will be much simpler: Octaves

micropulsations 6lh radio waves 30 micro waves 6lh infrared rays 12 visible light rays 1 ultraviolet rays 5 x-rays 10 gamma rays 10

total 81

As you see, two-thirds of the octaves are longer-wave and, therefore, less energetic than light. In fact, the radio wave region at its broadest takes up a third of the octaves of the spectrum. Actually, though, only about 12 octaves altogether are used for radio and television communica­ tions. Still that makes up about 15 percent of the total number of octaves and as our needs for communication increase with the developing space age, how much room for expansion can there be? The answer is: Plenty! / To see why that is, let's consider this matter of octaves further. In the realm of sound, the ear finds all octaves equal. In each one, there 60 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION is room for seven different notes (plus sharps and flats, of course) bf>. fore the next octave begins. This is not so, however, as far as communication by electromagnetic waves is concerned. As one goes up the electromagnetic spectrum in the direction of increasing frequency, each octave has more room than the one before. Each television channel emits a carrier wave which it modifies, these modifications being converted into sight and sound at the receiving tele,rision set. In order for two channels not to interfere with each other, they must have frequencies that are not too close. They can't be any· where near as closely spaced as the radio stations with which I began this article, for instance. The width of a standard television channel is 4,000,000 cycles (or 4 megacycles, a megacycle being equal to a million cycles). The television channels fall at the short-wave end of the radio wave region, in the range of frequencies of 100,000,000 cycles ( 100 mega­ cycles) and wavelengths of about 3 meters. Consider an octave in this region of frequencies; say a stretch of the spectrum &om a frequency of 80 megacycles to one of 160 megacycles. This covers a width of 80 megacycles and if television channels are spaced at 4 megacycle intervals, there is room for 20 channels. In the next octave up, from 160 to 320 megacycles there is room for 40 channels. In the one after that, from 320 to 640 megacycles, there is room for 80 channels. The number of television channels per octave of electromagnetic ra­ diation doubles fOr each successive octave as one moves up the scale in the direction of increasing frequency. In fact, each octave of electro­ magnetic radiation contains about as much room for television chan­ nels as do all the preceding octaves put together. What about visible light, then? There is only one octave of visible light, but it is roughly twenty-two octaves higher than the one used for television. There is thus 222 times as much room for television channels in the octave light as in the octave ordinarily used for television. The figure, 222, represents the product of twenty-two 2's, and that comes to over four million. (Multiply them out for yourself. don't take my word for it.) In other words, for every channel available in the usual television portion of the electromagnedc spectrum, there would be some four mil­ lion channels available in the visible ligh·t portion.

We can break this down in more detail. TI1e visible spectntm con- THE LIGHT FA~TASTIC 61 tains a number of colors that fade one into the other as one goes up or down the scale. Actually, the eye can distinguish among a great number of shades and there are no sharp boundaries. Nevertheless, it is cus­ tomary to divide the visible spectrum into six colors, which, in order of increasing frequency are red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and violet. And each color is considered as stretching over a certain range of fre­ quency. The situation might be presented thus:

W aveleugth range Frequency range (Angstrom units) (megacycles) red 7,600 to 6,300 400,000,000 to 475,000,000 orange 6,300 to 5,900 475.000,000 to 510,000,000 yellow 5,900 to 5,600 510,000,000 to 540,000,000 green 5,600 to 4,900 540,000,000 to 615,000,000 blue 4,900 to 4,500 615,000,000 to 670,000,000 \'iolet 4,500 to 3,800 6 70,000,000 to 800,000,000

Remembering that the width of a standard television channel is only 4 megacycles, then we can set up the following table:

Width of freqtlency Number of televisiOtz band (megacycles) channels possible red 75,000,000 19,000,000 orange 35,000,000 9,000,000 yellow 30,000,000 7,000,000 green 75,000,000 19,000,000 blue 55,000,000 14,000,000 violet 130,000,000 32,000,000

total 100,000,000

Well, then, why not use light-waves as carriers for television broad­ casts? Until two years ago, this was a suggestion that could have only the­ oretical interest. The carrier waves set up for ordinary radio-television communication can be produced in perfect phase. They form an orderly succession of waves, that can be neatly modified in any fashion. Light-waves, however, cannot be set up so neatly in phase; at least not until two years ago. It is quite impractical to try to oscillate an 62 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION electric circuit five hundred trillion times a second, which is what would be required to send out a beam of visible light. The electrons within an atom must be relied upon for such an oscillation. Heat is poured into them and it is liberated as electromagnetic radiation, much of which (because of their natural rate of oscillation) is in the form of visible light. In other words you can make light by starting a fire. The only trouble is that the various heated atoms, give off radiation each in its own good time, and the wavelength is not fixed but can be varied over a wide range, and the quantum is fired out in any direction. Thus, the emitted light waves are so much out of phase that most of their energy is cancelled and converted into heat; they spread out widely in every direction and cover a broad range of the spectrum. In short, the light produced is good enough to see by, but not good enough to serve as a carrier wave for TV. However, in 1960, instruments were devised into which energy could be pumped and then, when a sparking bit of light was allon·ed to enter, all converted into light of the same wavelength, and all in phase. The device could be so constructed that all the light would emerge in the same direction, too. The beam of intense light that is produced by such a device would stick together (it would be "coherent") and it would possess an extreme­ ly narrow band of wavelengths (it would be "monochromatic"). The process by which a bit of light sparks the conversion of energy into a lot of light is called "light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation" and, by taking the indicated initials, the instrument was named a "laser." (In case you are interested, a word constructed out of the initials of a phase is called an "acronym.") Of course, even so, the use of light as television carrier-waves pre­ sents difficulties. In the range of the electromagnetic spectrum currently used for television, the radiation can penetrate buildings and go through ordinary obstacles. Visible light can't do this. You would need a clear and unobstructed view of the TV station before you could receive a program. It is possible however that light might be sent through plastic pipes, from which leads could reach each television set in the area. (Does that mean the streets all get dug up, or will the pipes run along tele­ phone poles, or what?) On the other hand, television by laser would be ideal out in space, where ship could reach ship or space station through the uninterrupted reaches of vacuum, and each ship could have a television channel re­ served all for itself. It would be a long time before we had more than a 'l'HE LIGHT FANTASTIC 63 hundred million ships out in space, so there would be no crowding. Then, even if we did, the ultra-violet portion of the spectrum would give room for about six billion more channels. Of course, there is something else- These days, when I watch television here at home, I have my choice of four channels that I can get with reasonable clearness and audibility. Even with only four channels at their disposal, however, the television moguls can supply me with a tremendous quantity of rubbish. Imagine what the keen minds of our entertainment industry could do if they realized they had a hundred million channels into which they could funnel new and undreamed-of varieties of trash. Maybe we ought to stop right now!


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ANn so, AT LAST, I MUST SAY sidered to be flaws or carelcssnesses goodbye to this department. I feel in their work. I can't understand that I've exhausted my usefulness this. When one is a professional, to FANTASY 8c SCIENCE FICTION, one discusses the material under and, alas, exhausted my patience consideration realistically, imper­ with science fiction. Since I've vious to the demands of vanity or been repeatedly accused of being pride, whether the work is anoth· waspish in my reviews (one exas· cr's or your own. perated reader suggested that I was I don't by any means imply that going through Change of Life), I this childishness is displayed by felt that I'd better get out before I science fiction authors alone. It became downright crabbed. plagues all other fields. I've worked And yet, you know, I reject the with playwrights so neurotically charge of waspishness. To repeat compelled to preserve their pride myself for the last time, I've always that they have sacrificed their pro­ believed that science fiction is ductions rather than consider merely one of many forms of liter- (much less accept) valuable sug· ature, entitled to no more nor less gestions for changes and improve­ consideration than its sisters re- ment. But, too many science fic­ ccive, subject to criticism by the tion authors are unprofessional. same standards, yardsticks, and On the other hand, too many illeals that apply to the entire world science fiction readers are too pro­ of letters. fessional as fans. They are deeply I've attempted to understand the offended by criticism in any form, purpose and methods of the au- feeling that this is an attack on thors reviewed, and to treat them their status. Ingrained inferiority as I would like to be treated my- haunts them, as well it might, for self; as fellow professionals, col- anyone who feels so passionately leagues in a tough trade which only about a single (almost minuscule) the practitioners can understand. form of literature, demonstrates They have sometimes been annoyed that this is probably the only form when I've pointed out what I con- of literature he reads. 64 BOOKS 65 But there are contemporary nov­ it. And this is what is in science els, classics, plays, stories, articles; fiction that is breaking my heart. there's music to listen to, concerts, I love and respect literature in operas, ballet scores; there are mu­ all forms. I am humbly dedicated seums and exhibits; there's the liv­ to my profession, and determined ing theater, as well as motion pic­ to turn myself into the damned tures and television . . . If one best writer that I can be. I am is exposed to the full spectrum of owned by my craft, and am con­ the arts, one cannot help but see stantly grateful when I'm per­ science fiction in true perspective, mitted to do service for it. To me and lose the parochial passion service means aid and comfort to which too many fans display. my colleagues, and communication I've lost patience with science with them and the reading publ~c. fiction because it has become neces­ But what am I to do when both re­ sary to read so many damned bad ject communication on an adult books before a tolerable one comes professional level? along. It has been my experience I've failed, I'm afraid, and ari1 in the arts that most people on the willing to accept my full share 'of outside firmly believe there's a blame if anyone cares to point it wicked conspiracy to keep talent out. But please point with a pro­ out. Nothing could be farther from fessional finger. the truth. There is a never-ending To the professional colleagues search for talent, and we break our and reasoning readers with whom backs trying to develop anyone who I've been in communication, my re­ shows the slightest promise. gards and respects. I hope I've been But what has discouraged me able to interest and entertain you. most is the fierce pride of owner­ To the shrill minority inevitably ship displaved by many authors outraged by frankness, I offer this and fans. They feel that they own final story. A guy complained to a science fiction. It's their pet to play girl that the trouble with women with as they choose, and no adult was the fact that they took every­ is permitted to enter the nursery, thing that was said personally. She much less touch the toys. This is answered: "\Veil, I'm sure I don't." very sad. One can never possess an Please don't. art form; one must be possessed by -

NINE HORRORS AND A DREAM, Joseph Payne Bren· nan, Ballantine, 35¢


FACT AND FANCY. Isaac Asimov, Doubleday, $3.95

THE SIXTH GALAXY READER, H. L. Gold, Doubleday, $3.95

OUTPOSTS IN SPACE, Wallace West, Avalon, $2.9!'i

HOSPITAL STATION, James White, Ballantine, 50¢

ADEL HITRo, Charles Haas, Vantage, $2.95

When we were invested with knowing full well that upon our the White Staff of Office and be­ last visit to the Cradle of Amer­ came executive editor of The ican Liberty we were so badly Magazine, Alfred Bester, its books stung by a pepperpot soup that we editor, tendered his resignation dare not venture to follow him. "in order [as he. graciously put it] For the time being, at least, then, to give Avram a free hand." We we ourself will assume the charge thanked him with what we hope of the book reviews, as did our was equal grace; and asked him to predecessor's predecessor, the aug­ withdraw the resignation, as we ust Anthony Boucher. If we can­ did not desire that hand to be not hope to equal Messrs. Bester free to deal with the books depart­ and Boucher (softly flitting ment, it having too many other through our mind is the image of demands upon it right then. Mr. a firm called Bester, Boucher, Bester agreed to hold his quit­ Canticle, and Leibowitz: Are they tance in abeyance. Half a year or Soliciters? Corn Factors? Dealers so has elapsed since then, and Mr. in Intangibles-soft ones? No Bester has resubmitted his desire use, the image is gone, and just as to be relieved, this time with a well, too), we will do our lop­ rather firm note in his voice. sided utmost to provide such serv­ And, goodbyes disposed of, he ice as will at least prevent throngs withdraws himself upon an as­ of maddened readers from storm­ signment for Holiday magazine ing the office and demanding our into the depths of Philadelphia, head upon a pike. To Mr. Bester BOOKS 67 go our repeated thanks for a good old-fashioned gruesome ghost show: To our readers, the confi­ story, "The Calamander Chest," dence that they will bite the bullet with a perfectly rotten last para­ and bear with us, and not call for graph; "Death In Peru," about a madder music or for stronger cad named Larrifer-and when wine. Thank you. we are told that "with his usual -Avram Davidson excess of animal spirits [he] be­ came enamored of the young It slid through the soft ooze like daughter of a family of poor maize a monstrous mantle of slime ob­ growers [who] was scarcely more scenely animated by questing life. than a child, but Larrifer had ex­ . . . the smell was overpowering. perienced no great difficulty in It was a heavy, fulsome fetid, satisfying his desires," we know alien and utterly re]Jellent. So that something pret-ty sticky is runs "The Slime", a story in Mr. going to happen to Larrifer-and 's NINE serve him d---d well right, HORRORS. We didn't think any­ too; "Canavan's Back Yard," with one had written anything like that a really original notion, not par­ since Howard Philips Lovecraft, ticularly well-handled, but con­ barricaded in his Providence attic, taining a genuine thrill of horror; was communicating with elder ''I'm Murdering Mr. Massing­ gods and eldritch horrors. The ham," which one is surprised to book is dedicated To The Mem­ learn-or, perhaps not surprised ory of , 1923-1954, 'to learn, first appeared in Esquire, and this a fair hint to its con­ and which I value for the per­ tents. Don't think that we are fectly delicious sentence: "I was, panning the book; there arc too after all, a relatively zmknmvu many punk paperbacks for us to writer . . . he would do better to waste time and space _on them. It take his case to a 1\faugham, a is not a very good book, to our Hemingway, or a Wilbur Daniel taste, but neither is it a very bad Steele . . ."; "The Hunt," whose one; for those who like their Men­ cruel ending seems suddenly as aces old-fashioned and heavy it appropriate as it is surprising; would certainly be a good buy for and "The Mail For Juniper Hill," 3 5¢-particularly since it's been which doesn't 'just telegraph its such a long time since anyone punch, but heralds it with drums could get a steak dinner for that. and trumpets-and nevertheless There is a story called "Levita­ punches. tion" in it, apparently never pub­ Mr. Brennan is perhaps not an­ lished before, which contains a other Montague Rhodes James, surprisingly good idea; a good but, then, who is? 68 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION Heinrich Kley, in his sketch of ist costume-climb mountains, himself, appears as a paunchy, the devil sniffs a factory chimney baldheaded man, with a small and says Pfui, elephants dance, moustache and an angry eye­ centaurs cavort, monkeys make one who might take him to have mocking gestures . . . the scene been, perhaps, the Herr Ober in a· grows truly hideous : the lusts of middle-rank restaurant, or a busi­ satyrs, harpies and centaurs; nessman who saw the hoped-for monsters and giants attacking rank of commerzialrat continually naked tiny humans, cooking them eluding him, or the dyspeptic like shish-kabab, automobiles take head of a school for boys-laus­ on life and have at one another, bubs, the lot of them. He was ac­ naked women tend a sick octopus tually a successful enough painter and are ravished by phallic snails, of unexceptional subjects-"por­ sprites ride rats in a steeplechase, traits, landscapes, still lifes, city frogs enact the follies of human scenes, and historical paintings" se,.:uality, a hideous creature­ -these last typified by "Kaiser half-boar, half-pig-wrestles a Wilhelm the First's Walk," a mu­ ·tiger; and always and again the ral in the Baden post office. In monsters attack men. And always 1892 Kley changed, began paint­ victoriously. ing industrial scenes in oil and By the 20s, apparently, Kley water color which caught the was done. The Nazis were on the pleased attention of, among oth­ rise, and nothing which he drew ers, George Grosz. (or should one say, predicted?) is In 1908 Kley changed again. exceeded in horror by what they "Something happened to him did-deeds easily forgotten by . . ." It may be so; it may be that the purchasers and praisers of something was happening to the Volkswagons, Leicas, Olympias, world in general or Germany in and the tourists to picturesque particular. He began to pour out Germany. In picturesque Dachau sketches, in pen and ink, "charac­ and Bergen-Belsen, even the hu­ terized by a highly individualized man shish-kabab came to dreadful skittery technique, and a subject life. matter that leaped wildly about Dreadful death. from satire to near-obscenity to The date of Kley's death, like despair . . . cruelty and pain and the details of his later life, is un­ ironic laughter . . . and revul­ known. He was certainly dead by sion .. ," It is a kaleidoscope of the Fifties. Two hundred of his vivid nightmares. Black women drawings are available in the Do­ suckle elephants, white women ver edition, and at a reasonable suckle tigers, crocodiles-in alpin- price. BOOKS 69 Dr. Asimov's book is subtitled, ]. F. Bone, Avram Davidson and "Seventeen Speculative Essays," Laura Goforth, Elizabeth Mann and all but one of them appeared Borgese, Rosel George Brown, in this magazine. A sort of profes­ , H. L. Gold, Fritz sional modesty obtains in these Leiber, Walter S. Tevis, and matters, which says we cannot re­ James Blish. Our favorites were view the book. To short-stop the the Borgese, the Knight, the Good Doctor with a curt, brief Brown, and one other. The cover notice, however, seems unneces­ artist is not listed, which is just as sarily circumspect. The contents well, because it is a damned dull are divided into four sections: The piece of work, all the more inex­ Earth-And Away, The Solar cusable since GALAXY itself has System, The Universe, and The in the past availed itself of some Human Mind; and discuss such very fine artists-Ed Emsh and matters as the danger which mod­ Leo Dillon, to choose just two. ern sewage disposal presents to or· ganic life on land, the question of The Wallace West item, ouT­ another ice-age, the air and what POSTs IN SPACE, is apparently a we know (and don't know) about juvenile, and as soon as we locate it, gravity, missiles and space a reviewer in that age-group we flight, future tourism in the Solar mean to review it. System, the possibility of a tenth or trans-Plutonian planet, the use The "Hospital" in Mr.' White's of cometary planetoids in "island­ book, HOSPITAL STATION, is a hopping" from here to Alpha Cen­ space station built to care for the tauri, "the planet of tl1e double ill and disabled of all the races, sun," the mechanics of universal human and otherwise, and mostly creation, the origin of ideas, the otherwise, which are in interstel­ necessity of doubt, the status of lar connection at the time. This eggheads, and others equally in· necessitates a training in the men­ teresting. If you like him here, tality and physiology of aliens, as you'll like him there, and will well as the re-creation of the en­ want to own this valuable com· vironments needed for tl1eir sur­ pendium. vival, some of which environments are lethal to unprotected members THE SIXTH GALAXY READER is, of other races. This is solid, de­ like its predecessors, edited by tail-packed science fiction of the H. L. Gold, the stories having classical sort, though somewhat been published while he was that slow-moving. magazine's editor. The contribu­ tors include Margaret St. Clair, Mr. Haas's book is a vanity 70 F ANT. .. SY AND SCIENCE FICTION press item, its title a not very in­ onward to; unfortunately he genious combination of the names· ·("Manson was a tall, athletic­ of one living and one dead tyrant. looking, young man with bushy, A dictator, by the use of Light red hair which, as is the custom Amplification Stimulation by Em­ in his homeland, had caused his mission of Radiation (LASER), colleagues from the New York creates amnesia, and throws all' Sentinel to call him "Red.") is no red-headed people into concentra­ artist;· and Vantage Press should tion-camps. The author looks· back be ashamed to take Mr. Haas's on the events which Kley looked money.


A MAN NAMED THIN and. other stories by DASHIELL HAMMETI Eight tense and absorbing short stories by the champion of the American mystery are now available for the first time in book form. Each of these Ham­ mett "unknowns" exhibits the unique and varied talents of the master of the detective short story, the creator o£ Sam Spade, Nick Charles, and the Con­ tinental Op. Introduction and editorial notes by . Only 50¢ • •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Mercury Press, Inc., 347 East 53 Street, New York 22, N. Y. FS Send me A MAN NAMED THIN and! other stories. I enclose 50¢. Name ...... Address ...... •...•...••••.•...... ••••••••••. City ...... • • . . • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Zone . . . . . State .....•.••••• The former Rosel George, now the wife of Professor W. Bur­ lie Brown (Tulane), is a charming and handsome gentlewoman who also happens to be a former social worker and school­ teacher, a Master of Arts in Classical Greek (Minn.), the moth­ er of Robin, aged seven, and Jennifer, aged two; the author of LOST IN TRANSLATION (F&SF, May, 1959), OF ALL POSSIBLE WORLDS (F&SF, Feb., 1961) and others; and a native of New Orleans, where she now lives. Where, or how, she learned so much about mycology is not revealed. "I started writing in 1955, had my first story out in 1958. I have found that a Classical education is of great practical value ... I make most of my clothes and ]enny's-clothes costing what they do. Reading and sewing are my hobbies, though really they're a necessity, like smoking. (Did you ever try to give up reading?)" No, and as long as Mrs. B. continues writing, we have no intention of even trying to give it up. And now we will keep you no longer from the story of A1thur Kelsing, who would keep away from neither fungi nor women-nor, for that matter, from sympathetic magic.


by Rosel George Brown

No ONE WHO HAS WONDERED pens to be) of the Francesa ar­ what the Giaconda is smiling thura might, despite the protesta­ about has not also wondered what tions of the current generation of the Francesa arthura is thinking critics, prove illuminating. (We about. We are not so unsophisti­ do not feel it incumbent upon us cated as to attempt to answer ei­ to say just how.) ther of these questions. But we feel that some account of the au­ Arthur Kelsing collected fungi thor (or Arthur, as his name hap- and women. He occasionally fed 71 i2 FANTASY .~!\D SCIE!\CE FICT!Ol\ the former (not the poisonous "I don't like to be forced," Ar­ variety) to the latter, and fre­ thur said. You can see immediate­ quently wished he could feed the ly that there was a broad principle latter (the poisonous variety) to involved, not just a matter of the the former. socks. "It's childish of you to hide But civilization is not so or­ my left socks, and you're to get dered; is not, as Arthur often rumi­ them out right now." nated, either coherent or logical. "I told you, I don't kno1V where But rather (Arthur's father had they are." been Absent and he was reared by "You're supposed to wash all a hard-pressed mother who gave the socks at once and put away the impression of being domineer­ matching pairs." ing) civilization seemed to have "You're not supposed to do any­ been cooked up in that intuitive thing of the kind," Patty had and irritating fashion in which snapped, unrolling a wad of hair women go about things. And Ar­ from a brush curler and rolling it thur could only hope that there the other way with her fingers. was some agreeable end in view. "You don't understand laundry . .Because when women go about do­ You wash white socks with the ing something in their vague, un­ towels and colored cotton ones reasonable way, they insist they with the blouses and woolen type are doing something and if you socks with my skirts and nylon just wait and mind·your own busi­ socks with my underwear. And ness, they'll show you what it is some of them get tangled up so when it's finished. . you don't see them and you dis­ Arthur's wife had been, for in­ cover the extra one later and save stance, a woman. (This was the it to wash next time you wash the real reason why he divorced her.) things it goes with. You can't put And the first thing she did was one sock in the washing machine hide all his left socks. All but abeut by itself. Really," Patty had said, three at a time. turning from the mirror, her curl "I don't know where they are," vibrating, "I can't go on loving you she'd say. "But by the time you get passionately if you put on your un­ back to the three you wore first, derwear and socks and shirt and you'll have those pairs matching tie and just stand around in your again and isn't that really all that bare legs. Men look nice with bare matters? They should be rotated, chests but not with bare legs. Why so as to make them wear longer, can't you put your pants on first?" and this just forces you to do "Because the crease . . . something you should be doing never mind," Arthur had an­ anyhow." swered, clenching his eyelids and FRUITING BODY 73 wondering whether he should tell thing, she'd said. It might be toad­ her right then that she had just stools. As if it were her business ruined their marriage. what he ate or didn't eat.) So he It wasn't just that, either, or the broke them carefully, so as to leave socks. It was fungi, too. She kept the cow patty intact, washed them filching his best specimens for her in the nearest creek and rushed dried flower arrangements. home so he could be sick in a public place. Anyway, if Arthur Kelsing were Only he didn't get sick. He had now a bachelor, and a confirmed the most fascinating hallucina­ one, you can see there were good tions you can imagine-no, you reasons for it. And if he were also can't imagine them unless you've a confirmed fungus collector, there tried it. (The mushrooms, he dis­ were good reasons for that, too. covered later, were of the genus And if he were able to combine Panaeolus. Anybody can pluck his hobbies, there were good rea­ them off of cow patties after a rain sons for that, too. He found, in and aft~r all, what do you think fact, a certain similarity, a certain fertilizer is?) sympathetic magic that took place It was not long after-to be between certain women and cer­ specific it was during a Halloween tain fungi. hay ride-that he discovered Most men, all perhaps, are fa­ Women. This particular woman miliar with at least some of the "''as thirteen years old and as dif­ properties of women. 1\lany, how­ ferent from his mother as certain ever, are not similarly familiar Panaeoli are from canned button with properties of fungi. mushrooms (Agaricus campes­ Arthur was lucky. As a child he tris). So Arthur naturally as­ had grown up in a small town in sumed that just as there are differ­ the south and was given to wan­ ent kinds of fungi, so there are dering the countryside where he different kinds of women. could steal watermelons and cow Arthur had to have his stomach bells and what not. And one day, pumped out six times (one of them when he was about twelve, he after he should have known bet­ found some interesting looking ter) before he learned to be really mushrooms growing out of a ..• careful about the toxins in mush­ well, not everybody would have rooms. eaten them, but Arthur had eaten It only took one marriage to mushrooms before and besides, if make him cautious about women. they were toadstools he'd get sick But there were other disillusion­ and it would serve his mother ments that might have discour­ right. (Don't eat that kind of aged a man of less passion. (Or 74 FANTASY .A.SD SCIENCE FICTION would perhaps have led a more begin his search for the Silver generous man to compromise. But Chalice. He had, so early, per­ had Arthur been a better persoa, ceived if only dimly his ideal. he would have been much less in· And he glowed with a knightly teresting.) glow. But to get back to Flora (the Women and fungi, you may unfortunate name of the thirteen think, are not the way. year old woman), while Flora had They are not perhaps your way. her attractions, when you came But they are a Way. right down to it, her only real at· But for his experiment, Flora traction was that she was Willing. was not it, by a long shot, and his And Arthur soon wanted more lower South variety of Panaeolus from life than he got from Flora was not it, though the differential and the chance variety of Pa· was less. So he tried a combination naeolus. Which brought him to of the two. (He had to powder it his first experiment. and put it in her drink. She drank But meanwhile Arthur bad un· but she didn't eat mushrooms, es­ dergone a complete change that pecially after he had described the delighted his teachers and his poor effects. A girl doesn't have to eat old mother (who was actually mushrooms, she'd said, to have a quite a pretty woman of thirty-five good time.) and so discreet her employer never So that Flora became, briefly, regretted taking her on also as his the girl of his dreams-he and mistress.) Arthur became a junior Flora both dreaming mushroom scientist, a child genius. It is true dreams, Flora merging with the that he still lagged in English and dream girl produced by Pana& Social Science, but he could defi· oJus. nitely no longer be classified as a big lout. He even stopped stealing watermelons. He stole mushrooms. He spent hours pouring over heavy books full of diagrams and long words. He was engrossed in stud· ies of botany and anatomy. Some attributed this remarkable change to the fact that he was be­ ginning to grow up (which was true) and others, particularly his mother, to the influence of little Flora (which was also true). But what Arthur had done was FRUITING BODY 75 But there were difficulties. to perceive that he might have got For one thing, the dosage was himself in a whole lot of trouble wrong. As a big lout, Arthur had and he never made the same mis­ been able to tolerate more than take again. Flora, and he had neglected to take He made. other mistakes in­ this into account when preparing stead. his Instant Dreams powder. His Patty, for instance. main objective had been to put in "Patty," he'd said, "you're ev­ Plenty. erything I've ever dreamed of." For another-most important But oddly enough, she wasn't. He and key to Arthur's entire future just happened to fall in love with -the dream girl, the girl pro­ her when he was twenty-four, for duced by the hallucinations of no reason at all. (Actually there Panaeolus, was not quite right. was a reason. Patty had his moth­ She had a squint. This was due er's mannerism of talking with her not to Arthur's mind, which was eyebrows, but Arthur never con­ perfect in its way, but to the type sciously realized this. He didn't of mushroom he was using. Now, know that what he'd missed was there have been men, Romantic having a strong woman around the poets particularly, who admire a house.) little-sometimes a lot-of It was a fine, beautiful, normal grotesquerie in women. (Try some love and very boring. of the French Decadents.) But Ar­ Certain varieties of Amanita he thur had a classical soul, Classical was working on, on the other and Romantic being used here in hand ... the technical sense. Anything ma­ cabre or perverted one sees in him Arthur by the age of forty, is being read into his character by though he was not as affiuent as the beholder. It was amazing, la­ some mushroom farmers, was very ter, how ·many dirty minded peo­ goodlooking-tall and wide built ple ... but thin enough to look emotional 0, and Flora. Unfortunately -and yet slightly cruel of mouth (or to be honest, fortunately) she and cynical of voice, so that wom­ died. It was blamed not on Arthur, en could see there was a lot be­ but on Flora's mother, who had neath the surface. neglected to tell her, so everyone Arthur also had a curl in the said, not to eat toadstools. front of his dark hair which, late It was thus that Arthur learned at night, fell over his forehead in to experiment on small animals an unconsciously engaging way. first, and thus that he began to be Arthur didn't exactly set the curl, a real Scientist. Arthur was quick but he did sort of comb through it 76 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION with hair oil and wind it over his to do anything but hover over his finger. spores. So that he usually managed to But just to deny the faint suspi· have his friends in at home-all cion that occasionaily came over his friends n:ere beautiful girls and him that he was getting middle for them he had made his apart­ aged and peculiar, he accepted an ment slightly exotic. They took invitation to Betty Rankin's cock· weii to hallucination parties for .tail party. If you are single long two. Mushrooms are cheaper than enough, you become an Eligible gin and don't leave a hangover. Bachelor, and if you refrain from Everyone can't do this, you un­ being excessively unpleasant about derstand. The women ha\·e to be not having got "caught" (or caught weighed, for instance, to be sure again), you get invited to every· of proper dosage. They must be thing there are extra women at. free of certain diseases-heart ail­ Arthur, let us add, did not have ments and respiratory disorders, the "I was smart" complex with for instance-and only an expert which most bachelors ward off im­ with Arthur's additional intuitive plied charges of homosexuality, perception could know which fun­ frigidity and unacceptability to gus goes with which girl. women. He lwew he was attractive Arthur became, as the years to women, he knew what he want· went by, something of an artist in ed and hadn't got yet, and he did­ this line and eventuaily came to be n't have to be defensive (or of· much sought after by society ma­ fensive, as I'm afraid we frequent· trons. ly become). But he was a man of principle, "I just don't seem to be lucky in and a seeker of the Silver Chalice, love," he'd say from under his and he never Did It for Money. curl, and women just loved it. Besides, he had a thriving And there, across the room, he mushroom farm in Pennsylvania. saw her. He had a good foreman and there Never in dreams, never in imag­ really isn't a gt'eat deal one needs inings-but he knew her \vhen he to do for mushrooms except go pick saw her. them at the right time. Arthur had She had ash blond hair and no taste for button mushrooms, heavy, straight brown eyebrows himself. and deep grey eyes and a rounded Arthur had been working on a body with apparently neither variety of Lepiota which looked bones nor fat in it. Glaucous and very promising. Indeed, he'd been firm fleshed were the words that neglecting his women for several came to Arthur's mind. A head weeks and hadn't the least desire shining like Agaricus campester FRUITING BODY 77 griseus. Her age might have been of his curl. It was mannered, it anywhere (with good care) from was artificial. She would see twenty-five to forty. through it. He wet his comb and She was dressed in a simple combed it out. black sheath and a frilly white He looked less handsome, but apron. more Real. She was the maid. I'm Me, he thought. It would Now, Arthur Kelsing was no be foolishness to try to offer her callow youth and he knew better anything else. than to try to make love to the Except the mushrooms. maid at a cocktail party. He quiet­ Yes, that would be the one really ly got her name and address from original thing, the one thing Ar­ Betty Rankin, and became inti­ thur alone could offer. mate with the extra debutante at The proper mushroom. the party, as he was expected to do, He stayed up all night, leafing and watched Frances out of the through his notebooks, thinking comer of his eye. there must be some he had forgot­ The debutante \Vas nervous and ten, though he knew them all by excited and hadn't wanted to heart. make her debut in the first place There were none, of course. Ex­ (it was her mother's idea) and al­ cept a variety of Stropharia he had ways broke out in pimples before whose spores he was momentarily parties. Let us put it to Arthur's expecting to germinate. He strode credit that she had a good time over and turned on the mic lamp not only at that party but also at in the damp, cold little room subsequent ones, where the air of which was his laboratory. Nothing being used to Older Men gave her yet. It chilled him a little, as it al­ a sophistication that eventually led ways did, to see in what wretched to her marriage to the heir of a circumstances his dreams must in­ brass manufacturer's fortune. cubate. He checked the tempera­ Arthur went home that evening ture and humidity and switched and looked at himself in the mir­ off the light. ror, seeing in amazement that There had been the Collybia in having found Frances made him Nicaragua, of course. Arthur had look no different. been in a cautious phase then, Frances. Frances Griffith was having recently been poisoned her name. with a Boletus laricis, but they But Arthur went on looking at had stayed in his mind and he had himself, inside and out, and felt a feeling ... for the first time inadequate. Arthur paced his apartment, He was ashamed, for instance, scratching his hand across his 78 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION emerging beard, blowing faint be like a red, red rose, why should whistles of air through his teeth. anyone find it queer that Arthur's He was possessed with excite­ love was like a white, white mush­ ment, both physical and meta­ room? (Except that Arthur didn't physical. make the connection.) Because it shows something, Arthur knew he needed a warm that Frances should exist at all. shower and a nap, having had no That she should answer, down to sleep at all and not being young the smallest detail, a description enough not to show it. But sleep which he had not known was in was out of the question and a his mind. But which must have warm shower did not seem the been there all along. Otherwise thing at the moment. he would not have recognized her So he had a cold shower and so immediately and so intensely. shaved and drank a cup of coffee And so, therefore, must the improved with brandy and went to mushroom exist, whose dream see Frances. would be the dream Frances. So Even if she weren't home, he that she would have two exist­ could begin to become familiar ences, one in reality and one in with her natural habitat. unreality, each as real as the other The street Betty Rankin had and together constituting Arthur's written down was respectable ideal. And thus making a solid enough at the south end. But link between tlte inside of Arthur's Frances lived at the north end. mind (which he sometimes wor­ And as Arthur watched for the ried about) and the outside world 900 block, he began to feel a little (whose existence he· was some­ unsettled inside. For this was al­ times unsure of). most a slum. Rows of houses, once There was not a thing wrong splendid, now rooming houses with either Arthur's theories or his bursting at the seams with the poor, conclusions. the derelict, the hopeless, and The only thing he had not con­ somewhere in there a few families sciously noticed was that what about to climb out of it all. Frances really looked like-blond But where, in all that, a place and alabaster of skin and bone­ for Frances? less and fatless of body-was an Griffith. He looked for cards at Amanita solitaria. the entrance, but there was noth­ But it is certainly not fair to go ing to betray the inhabitants of 902 poking uninvited into Arthur's un­ Elm Street. Children spilled across conscious, and one has no reason his feet, babies in drooping diapers to link this up with later events. bumping down the steps, headed And if Robert Burns' love could for the curb. l'Rl:l'fl:\G BUllY 79 "I'm looking for Miss Frances That is, in spite of her and her Griffith," he asked an older child, family's objections. They felt she who should have been in school. had quite a career in front of her The boy leered, asked for a cig­ (as indeed she would have) and arette, led the way through a hall nobody could see any advantages that reeked of stale people, up two in Arthur. flights of stairs, stopped before a She was, however, easily led and peeling, dark green door and subject to drugs and Arthur man­ yelled, "Francie!" at the top of his aged the legalities with no trouble. voice. The reason he married her was so Then he held out two fingers for he could keep her locked in his another cigarette and left. apartment. This was absolutely Arthur didn't smoke but he al­ necessary as she had a strong tend­ ways carried cigarettes and a light­ ency to wander off toward any er. Women loved this kind of fore­ man that went by, and her·old boy sight. Arthur was irritated when he friends were always trying to look discovered he'd done this for Fran­ her up. ces. It was part of the charm he'd And what he planned to do in been accumulating for several dec­ no way impaired her domestic abil­ ades and he didn't intend to use it ities, as she only had two domestic on Frances. He wanted to strip abilities, the other one being a tal­ himself bare for her. ent for standing around holding He stood sweating nervously trays of hors d'oeuvres. There was before that unpropituous looking a maid to do the housework. door, forcing himself not to think Still, there was no denying the of charming things to say to initial disappointment that came Frances. to Arthur when he found her con­ He wanted to be unprepared. versation was limited to "Yeah," But he needn't have worried. and "who cares" and "not on your Frances opened the door. She life." He could overlook her mor­ was brilliantly glaucous in an eva­ als, but the stupiditity was more nescent negligee with a striate mar­ difficult. gin and she opened the door only There remained the hope, for a far enough to extrude a dark, while, that she was educable. But heavy man dressed in striped cov­ there were insurmountable diffi­ eralls and a mechanics cap. culties. For one thing, she was It was Frances who began the very nearsighted. This gave her conversation. eyes a distant, enchanted quality, "Next," she said. but it also enabled her to say with truth she couldn't see the letters Arthur married her anyway. on the page. "Not on your life," she 80 F ... NTASY AND SCIE~CE FICTJ0:-.1 said when faced with a book. Also works out). Thus he can recognize she was completely intractable. this odd manifestation of Frances "So you want me to look at the as a comer of reality sticking into pictures," she'd say, not looking. this swirling dream of matter Mostly she slept and changed which we have all agreed to call clothes. She didn't even spend "reality." much time putting on make up, Which leaves Arthur to explore because she didn't need it. the actual reality which he has al­ What she was, Arthur soon ready created but from which he realized, was a pale reflection of a had been diverted by things like reality that existed in a hallucina­ being born and living and what tion he had not yet had. She was, not. in another sense, a shadow in the That is what mushrooms are cave. And further Arthur (who for. never hesitated to mix his literary And Arthur was the only person allusions) began to feel like the in the world who combined expert Lady of Shallot. He was half sick botanical knowledge with a native of and he was ready to talent for understanding and ab­ look down to Camelot. Only he sorbing hallucinogenic mush­ didn't expect any curse to come rooms. Talent plus hard work, upon him (any more than Plato that's what makes an outstanding would. It took a Romantic to think artist, such as Arthur, or God. up that part.) The Stropharia Arthur had You see, Arthur, in searching been working on when he met for simple ideals, the perfect wom­ Frances wouldn't do at all. It was an, the perfect hallucinogenic not even hallucinogenic, though mushroom, inadvertantly stum­ he had crossed it with a mutated bled on the secret of the universe, strain of Psilocybc mexicana. which had eluded scientists and He had therefore to fly toNica­ philosophers all these centuries. ragua for the Collybia turberosa The secret of the universe is that and when he got back Frances was the world isn't real. This was in­ gone. Fortunately, she didn't have disputably proved by Frances, enough sense to go far, and he whose unreality was unquestion­ found her back at 902 Elm St. able. Obviously no Deity, no elan and had to stand in line for an vital would create something like hour outside her door, so as not to the objective Frances. On the oth­ make a public scene. er hand, one has to account for "Get lost," she told him, when her, and this is best done by as­ his tum came. But he then and suming that Arthur is God (it there fed her the Nicaraguan va­ grates at first, but see how well it riety of Collybia tuberosa and FllUITING BODY 81 then was in a fever to get home or possible relationships between and try the new mushroom him­ fungi and people, since medicine self. and mycology are two different He'd been right. This was It. specialties, and physicians and Now, this might have been mycologists do not always agree the end of the story, except that about what is a fungus. the objective Frances continued Arthur therefore had a field to be so much trouble when the pretty much uncluttered by pre­ effects of the Collybia wore off. vious experimentation and since And furthermore, she became he knew exactly what he wanted less and less attractive, by her­ to do, he could go pretty much in self. a straight line. Having achieved so much, Ar­ (It is a curious psychological thur had a brilliant idea, to per­ fact that Arthur did not spend fect Frances. any time \Vondering what Frances' Why should not Frances and vision was under hallucination. her mushroom become symbiotic He merely assumed, as he was on each other, as in the case of God, that it was the same as his.) lichen, especially since they had It took Arthur a year to breed a natural affinity? Francesa arthura, which will not Why not, as a matter of fact, be found in the C. M. I. for ob­ grow this Collybia inside of vious reasons. Frances, thereby rendering her During this time it had been permanently happy, her chemis­ necessary for Arthur to make a try improved by the exudations few changes in his way of life. of the fungus, and the fungus in There were Frances' ex-boy friends tum nourished by Frances' body whl were a constant nuisance. (or even, perhaps, her mind)? Arthur had no compunction about This was not as impossible as giving Frances drugs, but he it may at first sound to the lay­ couldn't well keep her asleep man, or even to the scientist. twenty-four hours a day and he Bacteria and mushrooms are both didn't want to over use anything fungi. Both reproduce sexually, from his mushroom pharmacary. which means they can be bred for The chemistry of hallu:::inogenic certain characteristics. (The the­ mushrooms is ill understood, even ory that bacteria can reproduce by Arthur, and he did not want sexually is in no way invalidated to take a chance on building up by the fact that it is only recently possible toxic reactions, or caus­ proven.) ing possible neurological changes, There is much that is not un­ until he had the Francesa arthura derstood about the relationships ready. 82 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION So he bought a cabin in the At the end of a year, Arthur Ozarks. He had it equipped with managed to mate a microscopic all the modern conveniences ex­ mushroom with a new parasitic cept a paved road (it was neces­ slime mold. Applied to the skin of sary to bump over a pasture and a shaved cat (there were those up a wodded slope to get to it. later who thought the most loath­ Only his little foreign car could some thing Arthur ever did was to weave between the trees, and shave a cat) it showed itself soon el'en so, one had to know which in fairy rings. This sounds de­ trees.) He hired two idiot boys lightful, but actually this is the from one of the neighboring sort of thing that ring worm is. farms, two miles away, and bought The cat died, of course, not hav­ a razor back hog, planning to in­ ing Frances' chemical make up. dulge an old dream of raising But the important thing was that truffies, which ordinarily are im­ the Francesa arthura lived. possible to raise in America. (This It is not to be supposed that is worthy of mention because it Arthur meant to give Frances a shows that Arthur was not a mon­ bad case of ring worm. Whether omaniac. It is true that his zeal it would make a pleasant sym­ iR regard to Frances implies a biosis for Frances or not, it would perhaps unusual degree of uxori­ certainly be aesthetically unpleas­ eusness. But he maintained other ing. Interests, too.) No, Prancesa arthura was for Once installed, Arthur pro­ internal use only, and as Arthur ceeded with the breeding of was too humane to give it to 'Francesa arthura with almost Frances without testing it, he fed d.aily success. He crossed the it to one of the idiot farm boys. Collybia tuberosa with a Mexican The effect was noticeable the variety and achieved a mushroom very next day. The boy became that could survive an Arkansas alert, his mouth no longer drooped summer. (A generation of mush­ open, he no longer slept half the rooms requires several days.) He day. In fact, Arthur learned upon then crossed it with a small questioning him, he had stopped Daecmlea from Cade's Cove. sleeping altogether. It should be Meanwhile he was working up­ noted that the boy's intelligence ward with the largest B. Coli he did not at any time increase, but could find, through filaments of he certainly looked better. It was myxomycete plasmodium. (A gen­ almost as though there were a eration of bacteria takes about little switch in him that had been twenty minutes, so this went a pushed from "slow" to "fast." bit faster.) As it happened, the boy was FRUI111\"G BODY 83 dead six months later, but it must him around, she took his word as be remembered that Francesa ar­ law, she obeyed his every whim, thura \Vas not his mushroom, but even to the extent of doing simple Frances', and also that nature had housework. fashioned him perhaps to live Within a week, Arthur felt slow for many years, and who is secure enough to sleep soundly to say he was not happier living at night without locking Frances fast for a few months? in her cage, though he had to Anyhow, Arthur meanwhile de­ warn her severely about going for cided that Francesa arthura was long walks in the woods, moon or ready for Frances, and Frances no moon. was ready (indeed, long overdue) "Stay close to the house," he'd for Francesa arthura. say, and she did. He sometimes Her neural tone improved al­ waked at night and saw her out most immediately and she pre­ of the window, white and beauti­ sented a problem Arthur had not ful under the moon, just standing planned on, though he knew from there enjoying the wind in her the farm boy. She no longer slept. hair. Never. But at the same time, she If Arthur thought he was God, grew to resemble more closely the he soon had Frances to back him Frances of his hallucinogenic up. And as she drew closer to him dream. Her movements became she became, in a sense, more dis­ more fluid and graceful. She be­ tant from the world. She grew gan to enjoy long walks in the more spiritual, more distant in woods. She listened and smiled the eyes, whiter, C\'en almost lu­ as he explained his interests to minous. her. (The fascinating varieties of The initial alertness supplied fungi housed in cow patties, for by Francesa arthura began to instance, and the interesting hab­ change a little. She did not droop its of lichen.) There was never the or languor, but she became more least reason to think she under­ inward, supplying something to stood or cared, but she had learned Francesa arthura as it was sup­ how to listen, which is a man­ plying her with its intoxicants. nerism, not an intellectual attain­ Soon she gave up her long ment. walks, her dancing about the Furthermore, she displayed, for house. She did nothing, but it was the first time, a marked affection a different sort of nothing from for Arthur. He no longer felt he what she had done before. It was was the object of her passion a happy, purposeful nothing. solely because he kept everybody She just stood around outside, else locked out. Now she followed mostly. 84 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION She • • • vegetated. you know something awful has One morning, several days happened. "In five minutes I'll after Frances stopped eating, Ar­ be laughing at myself," he said, thur found her leaning against a and tried to laugh without having tree, sending rhizomorphs into it. to wait the five minutes. He was horrified. He rounded a stand of trees He cut them off. (It was not and saw her, a yard or two from_ painful as they were naturally the cabin's clearing, sitting by a vegetative rhizomorphs.) rotten tree stump, her arm resting He brought her inside, forced on the stump, her beautiful white her to eat, increased the nitrogen head resting on her arm. in her diet. "You've got to fight "Frances!" he cried and bumped back," he said. "It's a symbiote, the car to a stop beside her. not a parasite." She smiled at him dreamily, But Frances wasn't interested recognizing him faintly some­ in fighting back. She ate, as Ar­ where beyond the grey smoke of thur instructed her to, and for a her eyes. while there were no more rhizi­ "No!" he cried, because she morphs. The rhizomorphs be­ seemed so immobile, despited the came merely something to remem­ fact that she drew her legs under ber about, not to fear. her a little and moved her head. Until this matter of Fate came "You didn't eat?" he asked. up. Fate has little literary validity, She roused a little, took a but is very important in life. breath, so that he noticed she Arthur got sick. . hadn't been breathing. That \Vas It was only pneumonia, which what had made her look so im­ nobody gets very excited about mobile. "I wasn't hungry," she any more, but it necessitated Ar­ said. thur's being in the hospital for "But I told you." two days and there was absolutely "I forgot," she said, and stopped nothing he could do about Frances breathing, smiling to herself. except instruct her to eat regular­ Arthur began to pull at the ly. After the two days, the doctor rotten wood and found it thread­ insisted on two more, and you ed with rhizomorphs. know you can't leave without a "Bring me a drink of water," release. Frances said, as Arthur went into the house after his knife. '1t hasn't Arthur drove back, expertly rained since I started rooting." jockeying his little foreign car "Mushrooms don't root," Ar­ through the trees, and he had the thur said, and this added to his feeling you always have when irritation, because he had ex- FRUITIJ';G BODY 85 plained to her a thousand times shoulder." And as he went to turn that a rhizomorph is not a true over he saw what she meant. root. She was attached to him. ''You've got to learn to be more He got his knife again, an self-sufficient," Arthur said as he awkward procedure as Frances cut away at the thousand tiny was attached at his shoulder and tendrils that extended through hip, but it wasn't as easy as hack­ her pores and into the rotten ing away at a rotten log. wood. Frances held the glass in It didn't hurt when he cut the her hand and drank the water. mycelia, but blood began seeping She ate two coddled eggs he out and it soon became evident gave her after he brought her in that it was his blood. and cleaned her up. (It had been And for the first time he felt a dustv out there, and there were wave of disgust for his wife. inse~ts and what not.) But she "You're a parasite," he said. threw them right up. She did a ''You're no better than anybody little better with the consume and else. At least most of them are Arthur let it go at that. willing to settle for money." "It's a matter of habit," he told It was then that Arthur de­ her. "We'll start working up to cided to divorce his wife. solid food again tomorrow." You will wonder, perhaps, why He had missed her badly those Arthur did not simply murder four days, and held her close to her. That is safe only in stories. him while he slept. She still didn't Murder is illegal, and particularly sleep, but he had given her stern unsafe among married couples, instructions not to get up and where the motive is obvious. wander during the night. But divorce takes a long time He waked the next morning and there had to be an immediate with a jetstream of sunshine in separation. his face and a heaviness of Arthur therefore called a doc­ Frances' head on his right shoul­ tor (partly to do this minor sur­ der. He felt weak and convales­ gery safely, partly to serve as a cent. He'd done too much, after witness that his wife had become spending four days in a hospital a dangerous parasite). bed. Dr. Beeker had never (Good He leaned up and Frances' Heavens!) seen a case of this gaze shifted from the window to kind before and recommended his face and she smiled with her (strongly!) that the two of them coral mouth. ''I'm attached to be brought immediately to a hos­ vou," she said. pital to have the separation made. · ''Yes, but you're hurting my But Arthur said No, it might 86 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FlCTIOX be dangerous to wait, his wife called in a· mycologist and the had been acting very peculiar and general conclusion was that he didn't know what she had he Frances was not a natural phe­ might catch and furthermore he nomenon and Arthur in fact was had just been ill himself and was accused of attempted murder. feeling weak from loss of blood. Arthur's lawyer was pleased no (Though, indeed, she wasn't end as there were fascinating le­ stealing his blood, only the nu­ gal problems involved, one of trients from it.) which was that the Frances upon "I don't know," Dr. Beeker whom the attempted murder had said, slicing unhappily at the allegedly been perpetrated could rhizomorphs with a scalpel, "what not be produced. She did not effect this is going to have on exist. On the other hand, she Mrs. Kelsing. I really feel she could not be considered mur­ should be seen by a specialist. A dered, as a most important ele­ . • . well, tropical diseases, may­ ment of the crime of murder was be." missing. No evidence of a dead "A botanist," Arthur suggested. body of Frances could be pro­ "My wife needs a good going over duced. The D. A., being in his by a competent botanist, and al­ right mind, would not accept the though we will be separated, I in­ charge. As Arthur had figured, tend to pay for it." there were no statutes covering the But by the time·Dr. Beeker had situation. Or at least none except given Arthur a coagulant and an one most people had forgotten antibiotic and written a prescrip­ about. tion, Frances had slipped out and By the time the scientists had attached herself to the tree stump finished their studies, Frances' again. condition had proceeded to the Dr. B~eker could not bring state that it was not safe to sepa­ himself to cut her rhizomorphs rate her from the stump and in­ again. deed, she had no desire to do any­ Arthur drove into Fayetteville, thing at all except be watered had a botanist and the police sent during dry seasons. out to his cabin and consulted a Eventually Frances became one lawyer. of the eighth wonders of the world As it turned out Frances was (it has been years, of course, considered non compos (or non since she has moved or spoken) compost, as a cartoonist later put and considerably enriched the it). But Arthur had to retain the state of Arkansas via the tourist lawyer in · any case, because the trade, including a large number botanist became suspicious and of artists, poets, philosophers, so- FRUITI:l';G BODY 87 ciologists, anthropologists and for Arthur, that his life's work and general aesthetes. And she re­ final triumph should be dismissed mains-perhaps will remain for­ by the people of Arkansas as ever-happy and famous and witchcraft. beautiful. And so he died, despised, mis­ Whereas Arthur, who made all understood, a figure of tragic this possible, was convicted under irony, but returning, we hope, an ancient and (till then) unused to the realitv from which he statute. It was the final ignominy sprang, the eternal hallucination.

We are informed of a new Science Fiction story con­ test, open to anyone who has never appeared in pro­ fessional print before. If interested, write to: STORY CONTEST, # 3, 36026 CENTER RIDGE ROAD, NORTH RIDGEVILLE, OHIO. Winner might, repeat "'might", appear in a professional SF magazine. So have fun. And good luck. John Jacob Niles is, of course, famous for his folk- and folk­ type-songs, some of which (the lovely Black Is The Color Of My True Love's Hair, for instance) he has written himself. The Roper, however, is the result of a collaboration between Mr. Niles and Professor Theodore R. Cogswell, who wrote the lyrics. Readers will remember Professor Cogswelfs other-wordly and incredibly realistic The Cabbage Patch (December, 1957), his bitter and ironic You Know Willie (May, 1957), and other mordant stories. Here he shows a different self than the one familiar to Fellows of the Institute For Twenty-First Century Studies (of which Prof. Cogswell is Secretary), and tells a tale of love and witchery and death.


by Theodore R. Cogswell-John Jacob Niles

One evening as ·sitting on top of my mountain, My feet in the valley, my head in a cloud, I was feeling so lonesome that my heart cried inside me When I saw such a sight that I shuddered aloud. For black bats came awheeling, the big ones like eagles, And with them proud ladies in their fine store-bought clothes, And leading them all my true love came a flying, She was graceful and fair as a wild mountain rose. Oh, I called her and kissed her and bade her sit by me To be my heart's darling and give my heart ease. But she laughed at my wooing and fled like a falcon,

Copyright MCMLlV by G. Schirmer, lnc. 88 TilE ROPER 89 And climbed like a kestrel on the light e\·ening breeze. Then the Roper came flying down out of the sunset With a cloth-of-gold lariat that shimmered and shone. And he sat down beside me and spoke to me kindly And asked why I wept on the mountain alone. When I told him he laughed and his rope leapt like lightning, And the bats squealed in fear as they fluttered away, And the ladies turned pale and flew back to their husbands To explain, if they could, where they'd been all that day. Then his rope made a turn and looped after my darling And nuzzled her throat like a tree-clinging vine. And she fell at his feet all a-gasping and choking Till the Roper he stomped her and splintered her spine. Then lonely, as loudly the rumble of thunder played A death-dirge as I whispered a pray'r, And cold came the night wind as I knelt down beside her, Black as a bat-wing, the shroud of her hair. For the bats, they will flee you when the Rope comes for you, And there'll be no forgiveness on that troubled day, Be no forgiveness on that troubled day. After having spent the first fifteen years of his life as an "army brat" at military installations all over the West, Randall Garrett joined the Marines. This act of filial impiety was dras­ tically requited by a Japanese bullet on Okinawa. Having previously sold his first Science Fiction story at the age of only fowteen, Randy survived to sell many, many more; to estab­ lish himself as a practising expert on love, puns, theology, Gilbert & Sullivan, and whiskeys of the world; to contribute to this magazine MUSTANG (F&SF Nov. '61) and (with At1- ram Davidson) SOMETHING RICH AND STRANGE (F&SF, June '61); to act as one-half of "Robert Randall" (Rob­ ert Silverberg being the other half), author of the THE SHROUDED PLANET and THE DAWNING LIGHT; to produce the recent biography, POPE JOHN XXIII, and the (01thcoming (Fall) novel, UNWISE CHILD; and, with his Edwardian weskits, post-Edwardian beard, and more-than­ Edwardian wit, to enliven any gathering he· attends. Here, he reflects on the as-yet-unsolved problem of Sex in Space.


"She's the perfect woman," said THE LITTLE METAL SPHERE Thorston, with an expression of fell towards the bright dot in space idiot bliss on his face. "She's all I with ever decreasing velocity. ever dreamed a woman to bel" From the viewpoint of the pas­ Greymoor looked at him with a sengers aboard the spaceship itself, cynical smile and shook his head the bright dot was becoming per­ slowly, with affected sadness. "If ceptibly brighter with every pass­ you really mean that, he said, you ing day. Eventually, it would ought to have }'Our head exam­ cease to be a point of light; it ined." would become a tiny disc that -THE IDLE WORSHIPPERS would grow until it became the by R. Phillip Daclzboden old familiar sun. 90 SPATIAL RELATIOl\SHIP 91 It had only been for the past sides, I think we deserve it. We few days that those aboard the haven't had a real whingding in a ship had been able to see the sun long time. Three or four months, directly. Not until the little ship I guess." had slowed until its velocity was ''Then that settles it," said New­ less than that of light had the house firmly, a smile of anticipa­ nearing .star been detectable ex­ tion on his dark, handsome face. cept by the instruments on the "Don't we have anything to say control panels. about it'?" It was Betty's voice, When the ship was twenty-four smooth, soft, lovingly warm. hours out from Earth, James New­ Newhouse turned his head, still house rubbed his hands together smiling. He saw her leaning and said: "Let's have a party! A against the bulkhead near the homecoming celebration! Just the door to the sleeping quarters. Her four of us. Tomorrow, there will golden- blonde hair looked just be poking and prodding and ques­ slightly tousled, and she was tioning and all sorts of assorted wearing the smooth-fitting pink hells to go through. The medics dress that Newhouse liked. It was will want to know if our blood is that shocking pink that only a still red, and the astronomers will blonde can wear properly. be hounding us for explanations ''Why, as long as you agree," he of the photographs, and we won't said, "you girls can say anything have a moment's peace for the you like. Right, Rog'?" next six weeks. But we have a "Right. Absolutely." Gundersen right to a celebration. grinned. "Did I hear any objec­ Roger Gundersen, his big, tions from the female half of this thickly-muscled body relaxed in expedition?" one of the two heavily-padded Newhouse saw Evelyn put her chairs, scratched thoughtfully at head through the door, her dark the side of his big nose. "I'm in hair falling in waves down the favor," he said after a moment. curve of her throat. Two voices 'We got enough booze left?'' chorused: "No. No objections." "Plenty," said Newhouse. "It "Then I suggest we get started would be a shame to waste it... immediately," Newhouse said. ''Waste it?'' "We have to be sober when we "Sure. If we go back to Earth land-and no hangovers, either." with three bottles left over, they'll Gundersen was up and moving put it back in stock, and we11 toward the light -rheostat. "Soft never see it again. I call that lights, sweet music, and fair wasteful.• women make the exploration of "Agreed," Gundersen said. "Be- space almost worthwhile." 92 FAXTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION "Rog, you blither too much." He pushed a button, and the Betty's voice had enough humor in caressing strains of Velanda's it to take the edge off the remark. Cloudwalker filled the room. Gundersen paid no attention. He "How's that?" he asked. was good-natured about that sort "Beautiful," said Newhouse. of thing, Newhouse thought. He "It's just the thing, eh, Betty?" always took Betty's kidding that "I've always loved that piece, way. She'd make some remark like Jim." Her voice had a dreamy that-something that Newhouse sound. She touched him on the would never say to Gundersen, shoulder, a gentle touch, as caress­ even though he often thought such ing as the music. "That was the things-but she'd say it in such a piece we played on our first night way that it was easy for Gunder­ out, three years ago. Remember?" sen to shrug it off, to act as though He remembered. Three years, he hadn't even heard it. Once in a he thought. It didn't seem that great while, if Gundersen did long. How long would it have something that was particularly seemed without Betty? he won­ irritating-as happens even in the dered. What would it have been most smoothly oiled social group like if just he and Gundersen had -Betty would give him a tongue­ been cooped up together aboard lashing, and Gundersen would the ship for three years-just the take that the same way. two of them? He and Gunder­ But such outbursts were never sen would have been at each oth­ directed towards Newhouse. For er's throats long ago, Newhouse him, her voice was a~ways gentle thought. and pleasant. The psychologists, he thought, "I love you," Newhouse said had picked the crew perfectly. He softly to Betty as he took the got along well with Gundersen, brandy bottles out of the liquor Evelyn was quietly unobtrusive, locker. and- "What?" said Gundersen. He And he had fallen in love with was fiddling with the controls of Betty. the player, selecting a music pro­ He took four glasses from the gram. cabinet, ice from the freezer, and "Not you, bugbrain," Newhouse a bottle of charged water from the said. "I was talking to the most refrigerator. "Shall I mix, chil­ beautiful blonde in the known luns?" umverse.. " "Mix," said Gundersen. "\Vho "Thank you, kind sir," Betty's wants sandwiches?" voice came softly. "Not I," said Newhouse. "Bet­ "Oh," said Gundersen absently. ty?'' SPATIAL RELATIO:SSHIP 93 "Nope. Too fattening. I've got cerned, the party was a smashing to watch my figure for the wed­ success. It was wonderful just to ding." Her face was suddenly in be near Betty, and the anticipa­ front of him, looking up. Her tion of something even more won­ blue eyes were laughing, even derful to come added sparkle and though her mouth was expression­ fire. Jess. "Just think, darling-in Newhouse finished his first twenty-four hours you can make drink and started on his second. an honest woman of me." For his second drink, he switched He didn't answer. He kissed her glasses with Betty. They always instead. He could feel the warmth did that. It was just one of those and the velvety smoothness of her little touches that was a part of lips and the supple strength of her their life together. body in his arms. And then they Three years was a long time for were dancing, their feet moving a small group of human beings to gracefully in time to the music. spend together in a spaceship that Newhouse had never thought him­ was really only big enough for two self much of a dancer, but with people to move around comfort­ Betty he felt like an expert. Her ably in, but, thanks to the careful movements were so carefully choice of personnel and the efforts matched to his that she seemed of the psychologists to secure a almost weightless in his arms. matching of personality, there had The last lingering chords of been very little friction during the Cloudwalker died away, and the long trip out to Procyon, the sur­ player was silent for a moment veying of the planetary system. before it began an older piece, a and the return. All things consid­ sparkling bit of twentieth-century ered, it bad been a very happy jazz that Newhouse didn't recog­ three years. nize. They had circled the star, tak­ "Let's sit this one out," he whis­ ing photographs of the seven inner pered. "I'm thirsty. Will you join planets, paying special attention me in a glass of brandy and to the fourth planet out, which soda?" looked as though it might be very "Is there room for both of us?" much like Earth. They hadn't They laughed together. It was landed; that would come later, an old joke, one that they both after the first survey data had liked, silly as it was. been carefully checked. Mankind They ignored Gundersen, who was just putting out its first feel­ was very busy saying sweet noth­ ers to the stars. As Gundersen had ings to Evelyn. put it, "Look but don't touch." As far as Newhouse was con- And now they were on their FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION way home, on their last day in out a strong signal that could be space. It would be odd, Newhouse picked up anywhere within half a thought, to see other people after billion miles. Instead of landing, all that time, to hear other voices then, ships would have been sent than those he was used to. up to find the homecoming inter­ They didn't finish the three bot­ stellar explorer. ! ks of brandy. One was quite But that was unnecessary. Both enough. By the time they were Newhouse and Gundersen were at halfway through it, Newhouse the chairs of the control board to was feeling a very pleasant glow. guide the ship in toward Earth. By the time they finished it, the By the time the ship had been conversation had become hilarious­ put in a parking orbit a thousand ly incoherent. miles above the surface of Earth, And when the party finally the effects of the previous night's broke up, Newhouse found him­ party had completely worn off. self alone in his room with his Gundersen was in contact with arms around Betty, whispering en­ the landing field at Central Sa­ dearments through a slightly alco­ hara, and the two men grinned at holic haze and making love to her each other when Ed Wales' voice with wild abandon and tenderly came over the speaker. violent passion. "Welcome home, wanderers! Everything okay?" Newhouse was slightly hung "Absolutely," Gundersen said. over when he awoke, but not badly "Couldn't be better! It's great to so. When the warni~g alarm went hear your voice!" off, he cursed it because of the ef­ "Same here. We're locked on fect it had on his ears, and he with the landing beams now. Cut could hear Gundersen muttering your autopilot back in, and we'll under his breath when he went bring her down for you." into the control room. The little sphere began to spiral The operation of the ship was in toward the surface of Earth. almost fully automatic. As it ap­ When it had finally settled into proached Sol, the increasing its landing cradle, there was a brightness of the nearing star gave wild scramble for the airlock door. the autopilot its reckonings of dis­ As the two men stepped out, tance and velocity. If everyone they were met by Ed Wales. Be­ aboard had been dead or uncon­ fore tqey could say anything but a scious or otherwise unable to con­ few wild hello's, Wales said: trol the vessel, it would have put "This is the end of the line, boys. itself into an orbit between the You come with me, and the girls orbits of Earth and Mars and sent will go to Building X." SPATIAL RELATIONSHIP 95 For some reason, when he said we've run a whole battery of tests, that, Newhouse felt his hangover which we will begin almost im­ return in force. His head felt mediately." heavy and painful, and his mind "Ugh," said Newhouse. "I knew felt clogged. He shook his head we'd be in for that sort of thing. and forced his mind back to clar­ Whatever happened to the good ity. It seemed as if nausea were old days, when a man was con­ about to overtake him, and his sidered sane unless he thought he mind felt blurry. He thought of was Napoleon or had a penchant Betty's golden hair and soft for running naked in the streets?" mouth, as though it were some­ Wales grinned back. "Whatever thing solid in a suddenly dream­ happened to the buggy whip? like world. He swallowed and felt Seriously, though, how do you better. feel? Subjectively, what's your He heard Gundersen say some­ opinion?" thing, but he couldn't make sense "My opinion? I feel slightly out of the words. hung over. We had a party last "Come on, boys," \Vales said. night." "The shock'll wear off in a little Wales laughed. "That's not un­ while. Let's go." usual. Tell me, is it much of a He climbed into a car with shock to you to realize that it was Wales, and they drove off toward a farewell party?" the nearby cluster of buildings. "Farewell party?" Newhouse Fifteen minutes later, New­ looked blank for an instant. Then house was sitting in a chair in his face cleared. "Farewell to Wales' office. He grinned at the space, eh? Yeah, I guess it was. I psychologist. "Well, Ed, are we all won't be going out again, natural­ right?" ly. Betty and I are going to get ''You seem to be reasonably married as soon as we can get sane," \Vales said amiably. "How through all this red tape. What do did Gundersen behave during the you think of that, Dan Cupid?" trip?" A very odd look came over "Fine, as far as I could tell. No \Vales' face. After a moment, he trouble." He knew that Gundersen leaned forward and said, very de­ was undergoing the same sort of liberately: ''This is the end of the interview with Larry deVernier in line, boys. You come with me, and another office. He wondered how the girls will go to Building X." the girls were faring with their A mild wave of nausea swept quizzing. . over Newhouse, then subsided. "Of course," Wales went on, ''You have already said that, Ed. "we won't know everything until Why repeat it?" 96 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION The smile came back on the between a hypnotically induced psychologist's face, but there was delusion and a psychosis." still a lingering ghost of the odd· "How much of a difference?" ness that had manifested itself a "Mmmmm. The line is hard to few seconds before. "Nothing. draw," the psychologist admitted, What were you saying about­ "but it's a matter of control." Betty?" "It looks to me as though you Newhouse looked at him puz· lost control of Jim," Gundersen zledly. "I said I was going to said. marry her. And I have a hunch "In a way, yes." He frowned. Rog and Evelyn will be looking "We thought we had a solution. for a license, too. What's so odd So far, the engineers haven't been about that? Haven't you ever had a able to build an interstellar ship couple of your explorers fall in that will hold more than two peo· love before?" pie comfortably for any length of "Well," said the psychologist, time. And that isn't enough. Two choosing his words carefully, "I men will drive each other off the never had one tell me he was go· deep end pretty quickly-so will ing to get married right off the two women. A man and a woman bat." together last a little longer, but Unobtrusively, his left foot they eventually get violent. It's a found a button on the floor behind matter of the absolute necessity of his desk. He shifted his weight having company and having some slightly and pressed the button. outlet for the sex drive. We thought we had it whipped. "I don't quite understand what "The hypnotically induced de· happened," said Roger Gundersen. lusion that there are two women "You mean you've kept Jim locked aboard besides the two crew mem· up for the past week because he's hers seemed the ideal solution. insane?" Your 'Evelyn', for instance, was "No," said Wales positively. your own special creation. Your "Not insane. Not in the accepted dream girl, as it were. If New­ psychological sense of being psy· house said or did something that chotic. To say that he is psychotic irritated you, 'Evelyn' could call now would be to say that both of him names or dress him down, and you were psychotic for three that satisfied vour desire to hit years." back. Newhous'e, naturally, could­ "\Veil," said Gundersen stu~ n~t hear her. His girl friend did bornly, "weren't we?" the same for him, you see." "Psychologically speaking," "I remember," said Gundersen. \Vales said, "there is a difference "In a way, I kind of miss her." SPATIAL RELATIONSHIP 91 "Sure. But the key phrase­ say, more completely satisfying?" the one about the girls going to "We shall, indeed," said Gun­ Building X-dissipated the delu­ dersen dryly. "Maybe that's what sion. You were completely freed Jim doesn't want to let go of." from it. No after effects, no re­ "Partly, yes. As you know, the grets. Right?" delusion is vividly real." "Right. But your phrase didn't "And you can't get Jim to snap work with Jim?" out of it at all?" Wales shook his head. "No. "\Ve have, to a certain extent," There's a deep-seated, well-hidden Wales said. "He's willing to admit narcissism there that we didn't that 'Betty' was merely a hypnoti­ spot. Psychology isn't a perfect cally induced hallucination-but science yet, by a long way." he insists that the hallucination "You mean he fell in love with only applied to her physical ap­ himself?" pearance. He still insists that he "In a way, yes. He refused to was making love to a real flesh and believe that the perfect woman he blood human being." had constructed for himself wasn't "I see," said Gundersen. "He real." thinks we put some homely dame "I don't know what he saw in aboard and foisted off the face her," Gundersen said. "As I re­ and .figure of Helen of Troy on member, she was just an ordinary­ him by hypnosis. Look, Ed, why looking dishwater blonde." He don't you let me talk to him? I grinned wryly. know him pretty well, and I think Wales grinned back. "Natural­ I could maybe help bring him ly. That was your delusion. Your around." Evelyn wasn't particularly im­ The psychologist shook his head pressive to him, either. We could­ emphatically. "No. I'm afraid that n't have you making passes at would not do at all. Not yet. You each other's girls, you know." see, he now realizes that there "And yet we both had to see were only two people aboard that both girls to keep up the farce," ship. He does not think we put Gundersen said. "\Ve even clued some-er-homely dame on each other in on conversations board." that weren't even going on. I still Gundersen stared while the say it's induced psychosis." thought took hold. "You can't Wales shrugged. "Call it that, mean . . ." he began. Wales if you want. It works. It gets a shrugged, pressed a tab on his two­ two-man crew out and back with a way 3-D set. Newhouse's face, as minimum of friction. And it he sat in his hospital room, bore a makes antoeroticism-shall we scowl. Then he caught sight of his 98 FA~TASY Al'\D SCIEXCE FICTIOX former space-partner. The scowl Wales flicked the screen off. gave way to a twisted leer. He ''I'm afraid," he said judicious­ flapped his wrist. "Yoo-hool" he ly, "that Jim Newhouse does not called, his voice awkwardly high­ hold a very high opinion of you at pitched and heavy with contempt. the moment."


Is it? We say no. Our proof? An inventory full of some of the most fas­ cinating and stimulating stories that have passed through this office in some time. We think you'll want to keep The Magazine of FANTASY & SCIENCE FICTION coming into your home regularly in the months to come. And we know you'll want to take advantage of this unusual offer. for each two year subscription we receive at the special rate of $7.98, we.will send, ABSOlUTElY FREE, a copy of the hard cover anthology, THE BEST fROM FANTASY AND SCIENCE fiCTION: Tenth Series. This book is a $3.95 value. The jacket is by Mel Hunter. It wraps around 17 selected stories by such names as Robert F. Young, John Collier, , Ward Moore, and Avram David­ son.

·····------····Mercury Press, Inc., 347 East 53 Street, New York 22, N.Y. F8 Send me The Magazine Of FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION for two years along with a FREE copy of THE BEST FROM F&SF. I enclose $7.98. Name ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••.•...••.•.••.••• Address ..••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••...... City ...... • . . . • • • • • . Zone . • • • . State ...... "The mind of a man," wrote an old author, "is closer to the mind of a dog than the mind of a dog is to the mind of a demon ... " ]. T. Mcintosh, author of ONE IN THREE HUNDRED (F&SF, Feb. 1953) and ONE INTO TWO (F&SF, Feb. 1962), here considers possible similarities be­ tween the mind of a man and the minds of-shall we say, non­ men?


by J. T. Mcintosh


WHEN THE THING LANDED IT man had never been a buck-passer. was hot enough to start a forest fire, In Italy he had acted swiftly, on and it did. Fortunately there was his own initiative, and lost a hun­ a strong wind blowing straight dred twenty-one men taking a po­ into a wedge of woodland formed sition which was outflanked and by the Imbaran river and the would have fallen anyway within lake. The fire thus traveled in the a couple of days. In Korea, unre­ one direction in which it couldn't pentant, he acted swiftly, on his go far, rapidly cornered itself and initiative, and saved a battle corps starved itself to death. which everybody else had given The forest rangers found a few up for lost. square miles of smouldering ash The General was fond of quat­ with a metal hamburger seventeen ing, from G. K. Chesterton: "I do feet high lying in the middle of it. not believe in a fate that falls on They took one look at it and noti- men however they act; but I do fied the state police. The state po- believe in a fate that falls on men lice took one look at it and noti- usless they act." It was a fate fied the army. which would never fall on General General Bartholemew Plowman Bartholemew Plowman. Right or took one look at it and barked: wrong, he would always act. "Blow it up!" The tanks and guns had to be General Plowman was taking a floated down the Imbaran river. lot on himself. But General Plow- General Plowman, to do him jus- 99 100 1'.\:-.-l'ASY AND SCIENCE FICTIOl' tice, wasn't in the habit of ruin­ mortars were landed and pointed ing an operation by a premature at the smolce-blackened hamburg­ attack when he had an opportuni­ er. ty of waiting. For two hours he Hamburger . . . it was inevi­ and Major Alan Persley kept the table that the thing should be hamburger under constant obser­ called that, for it was exactly the \'ation, ready to take what action shape of a hamburger. Ship or they could with the weapons al­ bomb though it might be, it didn't ready at their disposal if necessary, look like any ship or bomb that but also prepared to wait until the any of the watching men had ever fire power aYailable became devas­ seen, and it did look like a sev­ tating. enteen-foot-high hamburger. The At first Major Persley, who had foot-wide horizontal cut even had a wife and three young children, a red-brown hue, as if it were an was the jumpy one. Deciding that enormous slab of meat. No glass the thing wasn't a bomb, he said: of any kind was visible, nothing "Hadn't we better try a shot, Gen­ which suggested that anybody who eral? It might stop the thing from might be inside could see what was opening. Or at least limit its ef­ happening outside. fectiveness if it does open." One tl1ing was clear. A thing "And it might force them to at­ that size couldn't have been tack before we're really ready for dropped from any known airplane. them," the General said. "The ash The way it sat firmly bedded in is still redhot and there's a lot of the ground suggested that it was smoke. If we wait, ·they'll wait too quite as heavy as it looked; yet until the ground around is cold." there was no earth thrown up "You say 'they,' General. Do round it to indicate tl1at it had you think there arc men inside? struck tl1e ground with the impact Reds?" of a free-falling object. "I don't do any futile guessing, So it must be a ship of some Major,'' said Plowman coldly. kind. It could By under its own "Whether it's men inside that cap­ power or at least lower itself from sule or slimy green things, my the sky. guess is that there's something in­ With every minute that passed side and it's got weapons. And I'm the watchers found it harder to be­ going to use mine first." lieve that the ship had originated So far nobody had approached anywhere on Earth. Iron Curtain within two hundred yards of the or no, human achievements tend missile, bomb, capsule or ship, to parallel each ·other. A Russian although men in asbestos suits plane looks like a U.S. plane. A were standing by. One by one the Russian spaceship or missile would THB STUPID GENERAL 101 look far more like a U.S. space­ telligent races of different physi­ ship or missile than the hamburger cal structure, for example. did. Suppose the first Terran ship to Major Persley had to excuse land on Mars was blown to atoms himself. As he squatted in the by the Martians before the space­ bracken fifty yards back from all travellers had a chance to open the preparations to blow the ship their mouths? Maybe there weren't to pieces, he wondered how many any Martians, but that wasn't the other men on the spot had taken point. If the first Terran ship that one look at it and found their landed was callously murdered be­ bowels turning to water. fore anybody did anything out of The ship was terrifying. It was tum, what would happen? subtly, chillingly different from Naturally, a whole fleet of war~ anything in human experience, ships from Earth, carrying the different enough to explain why biggest H-bombs, would teach the the General had said at once Martians that they couldn't do that ''Blow it up" and why he himself kind of thing. had been frantically impatient to Well? Suppose this was an alien attack the thing, as he would have exploration ship, and old Blood­ stamped in terror on a loathsome and-Guts Plowman destroyed it insect the like of which he had without provocation? never seen before. Persley found himself shiver­ The metal was brownish, with ing, and involuntarily took out a curious sheen more like leather the photograph he carried of Lor­ than metal. The way more than raine and the three children. Lor­ one observer had thought of the raine smiled at him and he drew ship as a giant hamburger was not some reassurance from the smile. without significance. Faced with He went back to the General's anything which looked frighten­ side. Averting his gaze from the ingly alien, men were pathetically ship, he tried to tell the General eager to equate it with something what he had been thinking, but he they knew. Thus, in a tiny way, put it badly and in any case the they conquered it. General wasn't very receptive. His business completed, the Ma­ "Major," said the General icily, jor still hesitated before returning. "tell me one thing. What should Here where he couldn't see the the Trojans have done with the ship he was able to entertain many wooden horse?" lines of thought which were driv­ A shout told tl1em that some­ en out of his mind by the sight of thing was happening, and they the thing. The possibility of peace­ turned quickly to look at the ship. able cooperation between two in- From the top of the dome, which 102 FAXTASY \:\D SCIEi'CE FICTIOI\ had previously shown no break of But the General was ready to any kind, a slender shaft was make a snap decision. He always slowly rising. was. He shouted orders. The mor­ The General opened his mouth tars, trained, loaded and ready to to give the order to shoot it off. But fire, did their job. The ship itself he waited for a moment . . . and suffered not at all. But from the a white flag shook itself out. interior of the giant hamburger The hamburger-ship was flying a came a strange, bubbling scream, flag of truce. and fluid began to run out througl1 "Well, they know enough about the crack-thick, oily fluid some us to have some idea what that of which was red and some green. means, tl1e General mused. Apparently, there was nobod~ "Could they be Russians after all?" left to stop the mechanism which The white flag made everyone was raising tlte lid, for it went on think. Nearly everybody still be­ rising steadily as more shells ex­ lieved that the ship had not origi­ ploded inside the ship. nated anvwhere on Earth. Yet the There was no counter-attack of white fl~g was puzzling. It was any kind. Before the firing stopped, surely too much of a coincidence a11 the creatures who had been in that aliens had the same custom. the ship were very, very dead. . . . If there were aliens inside the The General became affable in capsule, they were aliens who his satisfaction. "That's what the knew quite a lot about Earth. Trojans should have done," ht A captain came up to report. said. "A ,·cry successful operation, "General, there's a strong signal Major." going out from that thing. We can't make anything of it, but-" , however, didn'l Plowman swore under his agree with him. Careful examina­ breath. "Hell, they're using that tion of the ship and the shambles shaft as an aerial," he exclaimed within showed that tlte hamburger angrily, "with a white flag as cov­ had indeed been a ship manned er. Major-" by aliens. As far as could be made Just then the ship started to out they had been scaly, many­ open. The whole top half began legged creatures who walked erect very slowly to rise on hinges. like caterpillars rearing on a leaf. After the long wait, things were It was, however, difficult to be happening too fast for everybody sure, for although there had been but Plowman. There wasn't time to eleven of these creatures on board, figure out the exact significance of all the bodies were so badly dam­ the hamburger-ship's behavior, aged that it was anybody's guess e\'cn if that was possible. what they had been like in life. THE STUPID GENERAL 103 The investigation of the ship tional howl for a rigid check on failed to reveal any weapons on the destruction power of stupid board. The machinery, though not soldiers. as badly damaged as might have General Plowman might have been expected, remained starkly saved himself by producing even incomprehensible. It was not even an imaginary reason for giving the possible to determine the compo­ order to open fire-that he thought sition of the atmosphere which the he saw something inside the ship ship had created for itself. being pointed at his men, for ex­ Presidential, military and pub­ ample. But he bluntly, honestly, lic opm10n crucified General unimaginatively stuck to the facts Plowman. The official verdict was as he knew them, saying that the that the rangers and the police had aliens might have been harmless been perfectly right to call in the but he still didn't regret that he army, and that the army had been took no chances. perfectly right to surround the "Do you usually fire on a white ship with guns in case of an at­ Bag, General?" the judge advocate tack. asked at the court-martial. But to destroy the aliens com­ "The opportunity has never oc­ pletely without provocation was curred before in my military ca­ wholly unjustified - especially reer," Plowman said. when they were flying a white HYou mean that if it had oc­ flag. The white flag was clear proof curred you would certainly have that the aliens had somehow done so?" learned something of Terran pro­ HI mean that I do my duty as I tocol, and it should, Washington see it. The aliens were using- the said, have ensured them at least Bag shaft to send out radio mes­ a fair hearing. sages." The press was less restrained "How do you know, General, than Washington. The mildest that these radio messages were not epithet applied to General Plow­ directed at you? That they did not man was "trigger-happy." represent an attempt at friendly The incident, occurring at a communication?" time when people all over the "I don't know. When an enemy world were desperately afraid that points a gun at me I don't know some bull-headed brass hat, Com­ he's going to fire until he does. By munist or American or European, the time the shell cuts me in two would shoot at shadows and use it's too late to do much about it." an H-bomb to do it, thus precipi­ "Haven't you testified that no­ tating the war to end all wars and body did point a gun of any kind everything else, raised an intema- at you?" 104 FANTASY AND SCIENCE fiCTION • All I know is, I'm not sorry I landing on Mars and being wan­ killed those scaly beasts. Friendly? tonly destroyed by Martians would How could horrors like that be have given any wise man pause? friendly?" After the court-martial General All that was produced in Gen­ Plowman was no longer in the eral Plowman's defense was the Army. In some quarters it was fact that the shell of the ship held that he should no longer be proved to be much harder and in the land of the living. These tougher than any metal known on were mostly academic quarters, Earth. As his defense counsel where it was held that the murder pointed out, if the General hadn't of the first nonhuman visitors to acted more quickly and decisively Earth was a crime which made the than the aliens expected, they Black Hole of Calcutta look like might have been able to establish a a schoolboy prank. defense against which he could do Bartholemew Plowman then got nothing. Perhaps he should be a job imposing discipline on the congratulated instead of casti­ two thousand employees of a hotel gated. syndicate. He overdid it and was Major Persley, to his own sur­ fired. He then became a warder in prise and rather to his embarrass­ a prison. Society was apparently ment, found himself almost a na­ satisfied, for he was left in peace. tional hero when it was estab­ Three months later the Zwees lished, both by his own testimony attacked in force. and by the General's, that he had They came in hamburger-ships said at the time very much what much larger than the one whose e\·crybody else said. later. crew General Plowman had killed. There might have been some And this time they made quite sure excuse for General Plowman's that nobody got a chance to fire in­ action, the judge advocate said in to a virtually undefended ship. his closing speech, if he had had They attacked from the word go, to take a quick decision with no and (not taking any chances) time to weigh ·it up and before they did so by means of the Tri­ any discussion had been possible. pods and Dustbugs. But there had been at least two There was no attempt at parley­ hours to weigh up the decision, ing. The Zwees had had one try at and during that time Major Pers­ parleying already, with results ley had pointed out to the General which were well known. On this the possible consequences of de­ occasion their object was strictly stroying the capsule. business. Surely, the judge advocate And now it was Terran soldiers said, the parallel of a terran ship and civilians who stood up to the THE STUPID GENEllAL 105 ships, tripods and dustbugs prac­ pods, even the eyes. But of course tically defenseless, trying all they a mortar could destroy a tripod. knew, by words, signs and ges­ After a few had been destroyed, tures, to halt the advance and find however, the order went out to some means of communication. cease. firing on tripods. For the This time it was the Zwees who black sphere in the base was an shot first and didn't even ask atom bomb which went off auto­ questions afterwards. matically once the tripod ceased to have any value to the Zwees. Its The tripods and dustbags were range, though not vast, was a devastatingly effective combina­ enough to destroy the gun which tion of weapons. fired on it, among other things. A tripod would be left in a The tripods alone would have commanding position in the coun­ been formidable, but would not try or in a town-on a hill, at an have ended all opposition. For the intersection, at the center of a tripods couldn't move, and their square or park. It consisted of a guns were effective only within slender stalk nine feet tall with visible range of the three eyes. three eyes at the top, one above There had to be a respectable dis­ the other, three legs a yard high tance between them, too, so that supporting the stalk, a thing which when one exploded it didn't auto­ looked like a gun just above the matically set off other tripods. legs, and a small black sphere un­ Consequently people could have der the legs. carried _on some sort of existence The thing which looked like a just out of range of the tripods, gun was a gun. It shot at any­ once they had accepted the fact thing which moved, and whatever that it didn't pay to try to knock it shot at split, whether man, beast them out. or machine. The gun was a perfect Each tripod, however, had three bisector. It halved men down the dustbugs. These were small square middle, leaving two bleeding demi­ machines, which ran along like old­ corpses each with one eye, half a fashioned carpetcleaners without nose, one arm, a leg. It split cars a handle, spitting the same kind of so that they fell outwards into two death as the tripods' guns. They useless open-section models. swept round each parent tripod in The things which looked like widening circles, keeping the place eyes were eyes. They saw clearly, tidy-which meant bisecting ev­ in all directions, with three differ­ erything which moved. ent degrees of magnification. When a tripod was knocked out, Ordinary rifle-shots accom­ the three parentless dustbugs, plished nothing against the tri- which were more difficult to de- 106 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION stroy than tripods, usually sur­ ship an inch. Before Colonel vived. They then went and joined Persley and his men had fired a the tidying-up force of some other shot, the Zwees beam sizzled and tripod. every man in the unit fell apart, And the Army was practically neatly cleft in twain. Persley fell helpless. A field gun could knock soundlessly like a stick chopped out a tripod, but only at the cost down the middle. of suicide for itself and its crew For five days the hopeless bat­ and any human beings within tle continued. By the end of that three square miles. This price time the Zwees were in complete woulu have been paid in the des­ command of a hundred-mile-wide perate fight for survival which al­ strip from Arizona up through ready existed, had it not been clear Utah, Colorado and Wyoming to that the scorched-earth policy op­ Montana. And so many people erated against the Army and in were dead that the estimate might favor of the Zwees. be a million out either way. A de\·astated area was no good Then, for reasons unknown, the to Terrans. Those who were in it Zwees halted. Perhaps their sup­ already were dead; those who en­ plies of ships, tripods and dust­ tered it soon became dead. But the bugs were not, after all, inexhaus­ Zwee ships, tripods and dustbugs tible. all operated in such an area quite At any rate, the pause gave happily, unconcerned about radia­ America and the rest of the world tion and scorched earth. a chance to reconsider. Major (now Colonel) Alan It would take any nation some Persley, with his invaluable experi­ time to reach the point of being ence of hamburger-ships, had his prepared to H-bomb itself. There chance to put his special knowl­ had been no time, in the initial edge to the test when a Zwee ship stages, to get refugees out of the landeu in a field already covered battle area. H-bombs in the first by two anti-tank guns. day or two would have killed thou­ "Don't fire yet," he ordered. sands of American ch·ilians for "Aim for the crack, and shoot the every Zwee tripod they put out of moment the crack widens, before action. Naturallv the rest of the they've had time to see a thing." world wanted H·-bombs used any­ He and his men waited confi­ way. But Washington tried every­ dently-but the Zwees didn't play thing else first. fair. This time they had some After five days, however, el'ery means of seeing what was going human being still in Zwee terri­ on outside, and were able to shoot tory could safely be presumed without opening tl1e lid of their dead. And every human being who THE STUPID GENERAL 107 wasn't dead had taken himself as angrily: "Look what you've done!" far as possible away from Zwee And the defense line was that last territory. refuge of children who, in trying So the H-bombs went in. But to be too clever, turned out not to first, the authorities backed by pub­ be clever at all: "I didn't know lic opinion did a perhaps point­ • . . I didn't mean it." Only Plow­ less but very human thing. man sabotaged even this shed of a They took revenge on the man defense by insisting that he did for this slaughter. know, and did mean it. He was sentenced to death, It was not, perhaps, a shining sentence to be carried out in a example of human legality and week's time. fairness. Meantime the H-bombers went After all, if it was on account in. Bombers rather than ballistic of Plowman's rash, unimaginative missiles were used at first because stupidity that millions had died of their greater long-range accu­ and the whole world was reeling, racy and because the Zwees had so fearing a death-blow, the real far shown no form of air counter­ criminals were surely those who attack. had put him in a position to do his The Zwees let the bombers drop country and his world such un­ their bombs and then destroyed the told damage. whole force of planes, using a Originally the General had long-range version of their bisect­ merely been fired, like anyone who ing ray. The planes fell to the makes a bad mistake. That was ground like broken birds, both fair enough-in accordance with wings intact but no longer con­ accepted, established custom in nected to each other. any organization, public or private. Since this disaster finally proved In the ordinary way there would that the Zwees were ready for H­ have been no question of further bombs and didn't in the least mind punishment. He had only made an operating in a radiation-saturated honest mistake. area, Uncle Sam called off atom­ But an honest mistake with such bomb countermeasures for good. consequences was something new Within a few hours the Zwees in history. And at his second trial opened up a new front, this time -if it could be called that­ in the Ukraine. The Russians re­ Plowman was charged not with his ported the attack promptly in de­ crime but with the consequences tail-human beings of all hues of of it. skin and opinion had had plenty of The defense was a farce. In ef­ time to realize that local squab­ fect the prosecution was saying bles were automatically suspended 108 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION for the duration of the Zwee crisis. message a human being was men­ The Russians, perhaps more tioned by name. The Zwees knew ruthless, certr.inly having had all about General Bartholemew more time to plan for such an Plowman. They gave him his full event, H-bombed the whole area name and former rank. with commendable thoroughness. The military authorities who And by doing so merely awarded were holding him were specifically the Zwees ten thousand square forbidden to carry out the sentence miles of free territory to do as they of execution which had been liked with. passed. The Zwees themselves After that there were no more would deal with him. H-bomb attacks on the Zwees. When the ~argantuan radio Having established a sizable voice abruptly ceased, leaving bridgehead in America and an­ a vast silence in the ether, the other in Russia, the Zwees at last world had to make up its mind. condescended to talk. Some countries-not, signifi­ Apparently they could have cantly, America or Russia-de­ done so all along. An immensely cided not to surrender. But they powerful tube-blasting transmis­ all changed their minds when the sion on every radio wavelength Zwees, landing in Australia, oblit­ called on Earth to surrender. Only erated Sydney. English was used, and not very Then the talks started. Soon good English at that, but the mes­ there was no longer any doubt that sage was brutally clear. the Zwees were scaly, many-legged Earth could go under Zwee creatures who walked erect like domination now, while human caterpillars rearing on a leaf. Soon government still existed, or wait Zwees were seen in every capital until no Terran government was of the world. • , , left, and not nearly so many Ter­ rans either. In Washington, Sergeant Car­ "You have learned from your ter leaned against the door of own history," the flat, inhuman Bartholemew Plowman's cell and voice blared inexorably from every talked to the man within. radio and televir.ion set, "that "Me, I say what I've always when two races meet, the stronger said," he remarked with a certain must become the master. We will rough friendliness, "if these Zwees rule wisely and well. You will be ever really had any idea of making slaves for a thousand years, but friends with us, a little mistake one day your offspring will be glad wouldn't have made all that dif­ we came ..•" ference. What I mean . . . we Surprisingly, at the end of the used to send missionaries to Africa THE STUPID GENERAL 109 and India, didn't we? And if the three of them, tall, thin, scaly. natives chopped them and put writhing, their many legs-arms­ them in the pot, we didn't send tentacles waving in the air. They gunboats, not always anyway, we came silently along the steel cor­ sent more missionaries, didn't we? ridor, Carter hastily got out of the Well, what I mean . . . the way, and they stopped outside the Zwees think we're lower than any bars to look in at Bartholemew natives, you could tell that from Plowman. their message, they think we're For perhaps the first time in his stupid and crazy and no better life Plowman experienced the than animals, except that maybe in kind of terror which so many of a thousand years under their all­ his men had known well. His stom­ wise ali-good rule we may develop ach knotted and his breathing be­ into something. So you wouldn't came fast and shallow. think they'd be surprised when we One of the Zwees spoke in a chop their missionaries and put kind of English. "General Barthol­ them in the pot, would you?" emew Plowman? It is you?" Plowman said nothing. He had Plowman got to his feet and said very little since the court-mar­ stood erect. tial which had officially declared "General, you are to come with him stupid and incompetent. us." "Me, I think they only used Plowman nodded. "I under­ what you did as an excuse," said stand." the sergeant consolingly. "Now "Do you understand, General? they're coming here to make an I am not sure you do. We want example of you, because they think your help." that's all we understand. What I "Help?" said Plowman dazedly. mean ..." "Of course. We will need your Plowman was never to learn help to rule this world. General, what Sergeant Carter meant. For you are the only sane man on this at that moment the Zwees arrived, planet." The subfect of the existence of a possible critical mass to good­ ness (or evilness) is one which has until now unaccountably failed to engage the best minds in Science Fiction. Horace Gold-author, editor, anthologist, ace poker-player, ex-bull­ dozerman and olive-stuffer, and gastronome's gastronome (his lamb shanks with rice : . . his curried wombat . . . his choucrout avec chiens-chauds .. . )-and beyond question one of the aforesaid best minds, here proceeds to fill the gap.


by H. L. Gold

"BUT YOU PROMISED!" SAID Liz with. "From top to bottom, they're Blackwell. "You swore up and five feet six inches. Wing span is down that you'd have them ampu­ eleven feet four. Subtracting what tated." you used to weigh from what you "Amputated!" said Dr. Jonas in weigh now, they're fifty-three horror. "I never heard of such a pounds. They grow out of the thing." · shoulder blades and are connected "You never heard of anyone directly with your skeletal, muscu­ with wings, either," she said. lar and circulatory systems. I've "Please, Harvey-you promised[" never seen wings on a human be­ "That was when you were so fore, but these look perfectly upset because I attracted so much sound to me. Amputating them attention," said Harvey Leeds. would be exactly like taking off Standing in shoes and trousers, a healthy Ieg-an unforgivable with his wings spread to their full piece of malpractice, young lady." magnificence, he looked like a "But he's so emba-rrassing to go modem Winged Victory, male di­ out with now," she said. "Why vision. "Uz, if God hadn't wanted did they have to grow? They were me to fly, He wouldn't have given heavenly when they were the size me wings." of cherub wings." Dr. Jonas put away the meas­ "You asked for a checkup," said uring tape he had been working Dr. Jonas to Harvey, "and I've 110 \\'HAT PRICE WINGS? 111 done my best, though I still think that night I noticed he kind of you should have gone to a veteri­ glowed, as if he had some sort of narian. Growing those wings must halo all over." have taken a lot out of you. Drink "It was only right to send in lots of milk to replace the calcium the money," said Harvey defen­ you've lost. Get plenty of sleep, sively. and eat lots of green vegetables. "But what about the wings?'' In other words, I have to give you Dr. Jonas persisted. the same advice I would give a "Would you believe it-he's new mother." actually a virgin-at his age! I Harvey put on his shirt and wanted to see if we were really jacket backwards so they could be good for each other, but he said buttoned by Liz. They gave him that we should save ourselves for an angelic and somehow clerical our se~ves till we're married. And look, with his wing tips almost that, Harvey Leeds, is when your touching the floor. back started to prickle, and a few "I'll have to study the old stat­ days later the wings began to ues," he said, "to see how the sprout." clothing problem was solved." "That's right," said Harvey, "A good idea," said Dr. Jonas. modestly. "I'd forgotten." "It's amazing how accurately the There was silence for a mo­ old sculptors get them. They must ment. Then Dr. Jonas said slow­ have been working from life. If ly: "What you're saying is that so, you're not unique, just rare. there is a critical point to good­ How did the wings start grow­ ness; once it's reached, there are mg.. , .. profound physiological changes. "I don't know," Harvey con­ It may be the same with evil­ fessed. Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde might "Well, I do," said Liz. "It's all have been based on a real-life because he's so damned good. He model. It's a fascinating bit of hasn't got a single vice, which, let speculation." me tell you, is unnerving to a nor­ "But what's Harvey to do with mal girl like me. The first change his job?" cried Liz. "He hasn't was when he checked his records worked the whole time his wings for one thing and found some­ were growing." ~hing else-he had cheated the "Haberdashery isn't the only government out of something like job in the world, you know," said two dollars. He tried to pay it, but Harvey. they said the books were closed "That's the ticket," said Dr. and to forget about it. So he sent Jonas. "There must be hundreds of in the money anonymously. And things a winged man can do." 112 FANTASY AND SCIEiSCE FICTIOX "If you don't get those silly a cigar. "Now tell me just what wings cut off and become normal, you had in mind in coming to see you can forget all about me," said me." Liz. "Why, it's obvious." Harvey He found his wings bristling­ leaned against a wall; he could not like an eagle's, he imagined. "If sit down for lack of wing clear­ that's all I mean to you, Miss ance. "Am I an angel or am I Blackwell, you obviously aren't not?" the person for me." He wished he "I'm not qualified to pass on could use stronger language, but such theological matters, but the he had never been able to, which, superficial resemblances are there. of course, partly accounted for his I'll even accept, for the sake of present situation. argument, your doctor's theory "Then this. is good-by." Liz about the critical mass of good­ snapped her pocketbook shut and ness. But what can I do for you went out the door. specifically?" Harvey stood uncomfortably for "I want a job as an angel," said a while. "I guess it's good-by for Harvey. me, too. I have to go out and make "Doing what?" the bishop asked, these wings of mine support me." when he had finished coughing. "Good luck," said Dr. Jonas. "I don't know what an angel "Let me know if there is any does. But that's for the church to change." figure out, not me." The bishop leaned forward on The bishop admir~ngly looked his desk. "My good man, if the Harvey Leeds over from every an­ church took in every anomaly, it gle. "No question of it, they're would be quite crowded, indeed. authentic wings, feathers and all. You are unusual, but in a medie­ As your doctor suggested, it is val sort of way." quite astonishing how well the "There must be some way I old sculptors got the wings-in­ could fit in." deed, they must have been work­ "Mind you, I'm not an author­ ing from life. Quite astonishing." ity, but I can't think of a thing "Clothes are a problem." Har­ you could do to help the church vey put his shirt and jacket on or vice versa. There was a time again in reverse. when the church had a use for "Togas are the answer, my boy miracles, but that was in the Mid­ -same as the statues wore. A bit dle Ages, a time of ignorance and anachronistic-looking, but so is a superstition." man with wings." The bishop sat "But not now?" asked Harvey. down behind his desk and lighted "The church is enlightened WHAT PRIC.E WINGS t 113 now. It is as far beyond the !\fid­ KA job," said Han·ey. "There dle Ages as our computers are must be people willing to pay to from the abacuses they used to see a man with wings.'' count their simple tithes. The "In sideshows, maybe. I got a church needs good, sound, hard­ classy booking agency. I don't headed businessmen who know touch sideshow people.'' the difference between a bond and "But there's TV. And the night­ a common stock, how to raise clubs. And movies.'' funds and what to do with them "Look," Grubcl said patiently. -in short, exploiting every mod­ "All you got is wings. No act. One ern mass medium cans for expert or two guest shots and that's it. know-how to put our modern­ The only place you can stand still religion message across." is sideshows." "You mean-" Harvey paused. "I hadn't "-that there simply no place thought of that. Of course I'd in the church for a medieval relic need an act. How do I go about like yourself." putting one together?" Harvey was silent for a long Grubcl opened the door to a moment. Then he said: "Well, large, bare room with rings and that's that. It seemed like such a mirrors around the walls. "There," good idea, though." he said. "That should give yon The bishop came around the plenty of room to fly around in. desk and put a fatherly hand on You can fly, can't you?" Harvey's shoulder. "You'll find "I'm not very good at it," said something, my boy. It's just a mat­ Harvey reluctantly. "There's no ter of turning a disadvantage to space in my apartment, and out­ an advantage that will pay off. If side I just couldn't get up the life hands you a lemon, make nerve.'' lemonade. We do that every day "There's no excuse here. There in the church.'' are only the three of us to watch "Thanks for the audience," said you.'' Harvey with mixed feelings, "and "Three?" said Harvey. He good-by.'' looked around the room and saw "Good-by," said the bishop with a short, squat man sitting beside a no mixed feelings whatever, "and short, squat woman on cane God be with you.• chairs. They had been waiting to see Grubel, but now they were Sam Grubel finished hfs skepti­ watching Harvey with great inter­ cal examination of Harvey's wings. est. "So they're for real. So what have "Don't let them bother you," you got in mind?" said Grubel. "They're only a cou- 114 FANTASY .\ND SCIENCE FICTION pie acrobats. • • • So flr," he team nodding with great empha­ said, a triBe impatiently. sis. "I'll go home and see what I Harvey took off his jacket and can whip up." shirt and went to one end of the "There's always the sideshows. rehearsal room. He spread his Lotsa luck." wings to their full magnificence "Thanks for the interview," said and began to run. Trying hard to Harvey. synchronize wings and legs, he "Don't mention it." Grubel was almost to the opposite end of closed the door on Harvey and the the room before he became air­ acrobats, then opened just wide borne. He wheeled heavily to enough to say: "Sorry, Lombinos. avoid crashing into the mirrored I don't have a thing for you." wall. They grunted politely and left. "Not much of a start," said Harvey put on his shirt and jacket Grubel. "What else can you do?" and took the elevator in an ab­ "I don't know." stracted way. He had not a notion "How about a loop the loop?" in his head of how to put an act Harvey considered the idea. together. "You know what?" "No. What?" Turning the key in his lock, "I think I've got a touch of mo­ Harvey Leeds felt a touch on his tion sickness up here." elbow. He looked behind him. A "Oh, great. If you can't think woman and a man, both of them what else to do,· come on down." short and squat, stood there, Harvey brought his feet down grunting politely. to a landing position.- He was only "We follow you home," ex­ doing about ten miles an hour, but plained l\fr. Lombino. the momentum made him gallop "You very easy to follow," apol­ into a closed door. He folded his ogized Mrs. Lombino. wings and turned around sheep­ "We want to talk to you about ishly. your act." "That was lousy," said Gmbel, "That's nice of you," said Har­ opening the door against which vey. "Come on in." Harvey had landed. "Come back When they had uncomfortably when you got something we can seated themselves, Mr. Lombino rtse." said: "We follow you because you "Like what?" cried Harvey. mean a million dollars to us." Grubel stopped with his hand "I do?" said Harvey, leaning on the knob. "I sell acts. I don't against a wall. "How? You want create them." to manage me?" Harvey noted the acrobatic "Unfortunately, no. \Ve are the WHAT PRICE WINGSt 115 Great Lombinos-acrobats of the "Tell us where you get the very best-but work we can't wings grafted on." find." "Grafted on?" repeated Harvey "I'm sorry to hear that. I'm in in amazement. "They weren't that fix myself." grafted on. They grew." "Who needs acrobats? Nobody. The Great Lombinos stopped But a team with wings-" grunting. "We are very serious," "A team?" asked Harvey, puz­ said Mr. Lombino. "Please don't zled. make jokes with us." ''You can't do an act. You're "I am serious. They just grew." built all wrong." "So? How?" "He mean for acrobatics," said Harvey told them. They ex­ Mrs. Lombino apologetically. changed quick glances. Mr. Lombino grunted politely. Mr. Lombino took out a pistol "For acrobatics, sure. For the 'We not just serious. We desper­ women-" He made a little seated ate. If you want keep the secret to bow. "How much exercise do you yourself, I use this." do a day?" "Listen!" cried Harvey. "These "Not as a regular thing," con­ wings have been nothing but fessed Harvey. trouble to me. Aerodynamically, I "There, you see?" Mr. Lombino am even more ridiculous than the sat back in triumph. "My wife and bumblebee. They made me lose me, we work out every day, all my job. They cost me the girl I day long, stay in condition and love. They don't let me sit down add new 'tricks to our already very and I have to sleep in a harness, good act. Could you?" like an injured horse. And the way "I could try. I have to." people stare ut me, Grubel is right "It take maybe years to get you -I'm just a freak for the side­ in condition. Then you first start shows! Damn these wings(" working up an act. With us, we The wings fell to the floor. could start right away." Harvey looked down at them at Harvey frowned. "I'm sorry, I first in horror and then with re­ got lost somewhere." lief. "Sometimes it pays to lose "Simple. With wings, we could your temper," he said, "and it is make a fortune, and you could get about time I lost mine. And," he a quarter_;.no, half-of every­ added, reflectively, "something thing we make." else of mine, too .•." "Of course half," said Mrs. Herding the crestfallen Lom­ Lombino, grunting emphatically. binos out, he quickly dialed a "How do we do that?" asked phone number. "Hello, Liz?" he Harvey. asked, grinning, "Liz, listen-" When J-J•a•r•z•a•n"' E•t"l"i•s•o•n, fresh from the boondocs of Ohio, descended on the Science Fiction scene like a whirl­ wind, he was barely old enough to shave. Ten years have passed since then, Science Fiction has yet to recover, Harlan has written so many stories that only a computing machine (or an Oriental used to counting rice with an abacus) coukl reckon the exact number, and our genre has not for a long lime claimed the greater part of his attention. He has not-so far-published a cookbook, a catechism, or a Guide to Collect­ ing Quechua Coins, but tltat is about all. His two most recent books are Memocs From Purgatory and Gentlemen Junkie, and it was conceming the last that Dorothy Parker (whose snarls they are many, whose praises are few) called him". .. a good, honest, clean writer, putting down what he has known, and no nonsense about it." When last heard fmm Harlan had arrived in llollywood to stir up the alligators, and from there lte sent us his first F&SF story, a harmting tale of loz;e and death and music.


by liar/an Ellison

"SnE.LL llE LISTENIJSG, PAULI£, loved ami spent so many notes on, you can bet on that," I said to him, she was gone. Some bad thing had touching him lightly on the happened and Ginny was dead, in shoulder. "She ain't dead, Paulie, her family's crypt out in the bone­ nobody like her could ever really yard, and they wouldn't even al­ die." But he didn't care, Paulie low Paulie to come to the funeral. didn't. All he knew was that one Rich parents, Ginny's parents, fine listener, that girl he'd dug and and they was bugged at her first 116 PAULlE CHARMED THE SLEEPING WOMAN 117 for having left the family and the died, and they took her away­ old escutcheon, and second for and her snooty sonofabitch broth­ having taken up with what they er Karl or whatever the hell that called "a broken down wastrel jazz fruit's name was spit on Paulie­ muSICian.. . " and put her in their creepy tomb, Which was flat-out not true. Paulie bust up pretty bad. And I Paulie was the best. said to him: People like that have no idea "Paulie, you got to listen, man, what it's like, hearing a horn like because Ginny'll always be with Paulie. Bright as a penny, and soft you. She loved to hear you play, and quick and full of tiny things Paulie, she really loved to hear being said close into your ear . . • you play, and wherever she is now, that was Paulie. You can know she's hearing you. So you got to get Miles, and you can remember back with it, because if you let it Brownie, and you can talk it up lay there, then she \Von't hear a that Diz uses a fine axe, and still thing, ever." not take it away from Paulie. He's But it didn't take until later. what Chet Baker might have be­ Then Paulie got pretty smashed. come, if he hadn't turned himself He couldn't hold his liquor in the inside out and lost it all, or (and first place, and when he had to Hentoff called me a whack one blow five sets a night, without her night when I said this to him) if happy, loving round moony-face Bix had lived and gone through down there in front, it made him swing and bop and funk and cool want to get plowed even more. So and soul crap. But that's just my he got completely corked out of feeling, falling down on the way his nut, and he came to me while I Paulie phrases, and his soft blue was packing up the Gibson, and stuff, and the airy changes. That's he said, "Johnnie, I gotta go play just my bag, so forget it; has noth­ for her." in' to do with Paulie and Ginny, Marshall, and Norman Skeets, except I wanted to make it clear both of them were halfway out the that Paulie was good. Maybe great, door of the club when Paulie laid even. No one can tag great, I'm it on me. They paused on the step hip, but Paulie was as close to it going up to the street, and they as I'll ever care to go. waited for me to talk him out of it So Ginny's folks had no truth and take him home to the sack, so in their put-down. He was not they could go back to their respec­ only the finest trumpet I've ever tive broads and wife. So I launched blown guitar with, but after that into it, and tried to calm him, but axe of his, he loved Ginny more he was stuck on the idea. than his eyes, even. So when she ''I'm goin' over to that thing 118 FANTASY AND SCIENCE. FICTION they stuck her into, Johnnie, and So we piled into Marshall's Fal­ I'm gonna charm her outta there. con and we drove out to the Island I'm gonna play so good she'll wake -and Long Island late at night is up and cry and come back to me, much creepier than Spanish Har­ Johnnie." He meant it. The kook lem-and finally found the cemc­ really meant it. He wanted to go tary. It was surrounded by a big find that uppity creepy cemetary iron fence, but Paulie made l\1ar­ where Ginny's blue-blood parents shall drive up close, and then we had stuck her body, and blow all got out, and with Marshall yell­ trumpet for the dead. It was all at ing that we'd dent his top, and once laughable and pitiable and Skeets telling him to shut up be­ creepy. Like a double-talker giving fore we got pinched, we climbed you the business with the frammis on the car and over the fence. on the fortestan, and you stand­ Into the tombstones. Dark and ing there wondering what the hell foggy and Christ it was just like a is happening. horror Hick, except there went I tried to get him to sit down, Paulie, like some kind of a nut, but he had the horn in his mitt, all through the tall grass where the and he was yanking away from hadn't been dug yet, past me, walking a helluva lot straight­ the piles of ready dirt, around a er and truer than a drunk had any gang of tombs, and down this line right to be walking. Right for the of stones like he knew exactly stairs and the outside. where he was going. Well. To make it short, we tried As it turned out, he didn't have everything short of decking him, no more idea of where the hell he but he was set on jt, so we came was going than we did. But we around to thinking maybe it would tagged along, and after we'd been snap him out of it, that maybe he circling and careening around was acting nutty this way because there for ten or fifteen minutes, he hadn't been allowed to attend Marshall went hssst! and we dug the funeral and he felt guilty, him pointing to a big black shape though God knows Paulie hadn't with two dark angels hovering on had anything to do with the taxi one foot each, like gargoyles or that had run Ginny down in the something. street outside that Detroit club We called Paulie back (won­ where Paulie had been booked. dering where the caretaker was, if So we figured it might straight­ they had one, and why he hadn't en him out, like I say, and we got heard us bumbling around in him to promise that if he blew for there). He came tottering over, Ginny he'd come home and go to and when he saw the legend on sleep. the bronze plate beside the door of PAULIE CHARMED THE SLEEPING WOMAN 119 that tomb, he sank down on his being drawn down over a fire. Like knees and we heard him making Paulie hungry and crying and ask­ little talking noises to the ground, ing her, charming her, calling her, or to himself, maybe, but very sad out of that crypt, out into the and lonely and wanting. night to hear him playing. It said: Then I got scared. VIRGINIA FORREST MADISON We was in a graveyard, for Beloved Daughter God's sake, and Paulie was just as BornApril7, 1936 clear as anything asking a dead Died July 23, 1961 girl to come on out of her casket "She is always with us." with the gold handles and love R.I.P. him, need him, hold him and talk And the other three of us just look see him. It was the wrong stood there quietly, remembering thing to do, I knew that, and I'm her, the way she had been before not the least bit superstitious. that stupid taxi had sent her There's just some things you know through a florist's window. Were­ ain't proper. This was like that. membered how she'd sit with one A guy can be unhappy and want Scotch and two dozen cigarettes, a to get his girl back . . . but this whole night, digging Paulie on the was somethin' God might not like. bandstand, and just loving him None of us could move. We with her eyes. We remembered it, was so scared I heard Skeets be­ and none of us felt it was wrong hind me and he was shivering so for Paulie to be here. I was glad I bad he had to put his hands in his was with him. He was a good guy, pockets. and he didn't deserve all this pain. Then we heard the noise outta Then Paulie got up, and he that crypt. started to blow. We heard her coming. I don't He put the horn to his mouth, think anyone screamed, but we all and the little hard muscle-ridges knew Ginny was coming back; of his upper lip stood out, and he and the way she had looked after started to blow something low and that taxi ripped into her, none of soft and new. It was a strange us thought we could take it. But sound, all minor-key and repeti­ Paulie just kept laying it on, so tive, with a wistful, searching sweet and charming and compell­ thread in it. I'd never heard it be­ ing that we knew Ginny couldn't fore, and I knew damned well no keep sleeping with all that good­ one else had ever heard it, either. ness coming at her. It was like a million black birds Later, we got Paulie back over with white wings sailing into the the fence, and into the car. We night sky. Like a sheet of -coolness took him home, and I had three 120 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION straight rye's before I could make desires, you know that. But with my eyes shut. Paulie, well, who knows which is Paulie didn't play much after better: a live emptiness or com­ that, a gig now and then, but it panionship with a dead memory doesn't matter. He has his ghosts. that likes soundless music? There aren't no ghosts except I don't know, I'm not that good, the ones we buv with our guilty that great a musician.


The one hundredth issue of Fiction, F&SF's French edition, ap­ peared early this year. The durability of this delightful magazine i~ due to the skill and dedication of Maurice Renault and his editor. Alain Doremieux, in blending the best American s.f. stories with the best work of a new generation of French s.f. and fantasy writers. Issue number 100 contains stories translated from the American edition by Brian W. Aldiss ("," with a cover drawing by Jean-Claude Forest, whose work is long overdue to appear on the cover of the American magazine), Poul Anderson, Edgar Pangborn and Ray Bradbury. There are French stories by Michel Demuth. Nathalie Ch.-Henneberg, Jean Ray, Thomas Owen and Pierre Versins. French s.f. writers as a group are eager to acknowledge their debt to American and British s.f.: but they have created something of their own in this field, whose importance will be better recognized as time goes on, and more of their stories are translated. -Damon Knight (Coming soon-"The Devil's God-daughter" by Suzanne Malaval, translated from the French by Damon Knight.) As often happens in a Will Stanton story, an almost ordinary person here has an almost ordinary adventure, and the whole turns out to be most extraordinary. • • •


by Will Stanton

AT FIRST RAYMOND THOUGHT tight fitting green suit. Raymond it was a flying saucer when it approached him warily. flashed over his head and disap­ "You a new kid?" he asked. peared behind the trees. He took The other smiled. "My name is a couple of steps in that direction Korko," he said. "I guess I'm new and then he decided it probably -I've never been here before. As wasn't a saucer at all-it had a matter of fact I don't seem to looked more like a cereal bowl. He know where I am." turned and walked down the path "You're in the woods in back of to the lion trap. It was empty­ my house," Raymond said. He it usually was. Once he had almost pointed to the spaceship. "Is that captured a kangaroo, but it got yours?" away. "Uh huh," Korko said, "I'm Beyond the trap was the place refueling-solar energy." He where the treasure chest was grinned, "I forgot to fill the spare buried. He dug it up to make sure tanks before I left." it was all right and buried it in a Raymond nodded. "Sometimes safer place. Then he walked along 1 forget things. I forgot to brush the creek, looking for lucky stones. my teeth this morning." It was about half an hour before Korko stretched out his legs. he came to the clearing where the 'Well, they can't expect you tore­ saucer was. member everything. There's just The pilot was sitting back too much." against a stump, chewing a piece "That's what I tell my sister,•• of grass. He was about Raymond's Raymond said. "But then I forget size or a little smaller. He had to put on my overshoes and she pointed ears and was wearing a gets mad." 121 122 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION ''You can't expect too much ''You put in a road," Raymond from sisters, can you?" Korko said. said. "Then you cut down all the He folded his hands behind his trees and build houses." head and looked up into the sky. Korko twisted around so as to "I keep mine in a cage most of the see all the clearing. "I like it better time," he added, "haven't you ever with the trees," he said. thought of that?" "So do 1-so does Molly. But Raymond picked up a branch Walter says you can't fight prog­ and started peeling the bark off it. ress." "I guess it wouldn't be very nice "Aha-progress," Korko nod­ -locked up in a cage all by your­ ded his head wisely. "They tried self." that in my country too but I soon "I never said she was by her­ put a stop to it, I can tell you self," Korko pointed out, "I put that." some tigers in too." "I don't see how you can." "Tigers?" Raymond said, "aren't "When you're king you can do you afraid they'll eat her up?" any blasted thundering thing you Korko shook his head slowly. want," Korko said. "I told you I "No, I'm not. Not the kind of was king, didn't I? Wait a minute tigers you get these days." -"He disappeared into the space Raymond held out his hand. ship. In a moment he was back "Would you like a gumdrop?" with a shiny crown that seemed "Thank you," Korko took one badly out of shape. "I'm very fond and chewed it thoughtfully. "It's of tin," he said, "but it does bend delicious, I've never had any­ so. I must have sat on it." He thing like it." went over it with his fingers, press­ "Take another," Raymond said. ing it back into shape. "You're a good fellow," Korko "Of course, my official crown is said, "do you have a wife?" gold," he said; "this is a light "No, I live with my sister Molly. weight crown for traveling." He But she's going to get married put it on the back of his head. soon-a fellow named Walter. I "How does it look?" don't like him." "Just fine," Raymond said. "Ah-" Korko folded his arms. "I'm glad you think so. People ''You don't like him. What does keep telling me I'm a splendid Walter do?" looking king, but then they'd say "He's a developer," Raymond just about anything." He poked said. "After they get married he's the ground moodily with a stick. going to develop this farm." "Have a gumdrop," Raymond "I see. Just how do you do said. that?" Korko smiled. "You're a good THE GUMDROP KING 123 friend, Raymond." He put the It's easy as that-" he rubbed his gumdrop in his mouth. "Isn't there middle finger against his thumb. somebody else your sister could "As easy as-" He tried again. marry-somebody you like?" Raymond snapped his fingers. "There's Bartholomew," he said. "As that?" "I think Molly likes him too. Only "Show me how you do it," Kor­ he doesn't have enough money to ko said. "I never have been able to get married. He's a painter." get the hang of it." Raymond "How much monev does it take showed him. "I guess I'll have to to get married?" · keep practicing," Korko said. "I don't know," Raymond said. "Where does your friend Piggy "There's going to be an exhibit live?" next month-Bartholomew savs if Raymond closed his eyes. He he wins a prize then people 'will remembered Piggy had moved out start to buy his pictures." West-all the way to Idaho. If Korko waved his hand. "It's as only he could remember the name good as done. Tell him to enter of the town! another picture. He might as well "Moscow," he said suddenlv, get second prize too." "that's where he lives. Can we go "I'll tell him," Raymond said. there?" He stepped over to the spaceship. "We're there," Korko said. "I don't suppose we could go for a They were standing in the cen­ ride?" ter of a large table, surrounded by Korko shook his head. "Not a circle of a dozen men, frozen in while it's refueling. Of course if their chairs, staring at the two of you just want to go someplace them. here on the planet we could use "Surprise!" Korko cried happily. teleportation." "Which one is Piggy?" "Well," Raymond said, "I had a Raymond nudged him in the friend named Piggy-he moved ribs. "This isn't the right place." away last year. I thought it might "Excuse us please," Korko said. be nice to see him." The room vanished and they were "Good old Piggy," Korko said. back in the clearing. Raymond let "Do you want to go to his house out his breath. or would you rather bring him "What enormous people you here?" know," Korko said, "They must "Can you really do that?" Ray­ be giants." mond asked. "Make a person "I don't know them,'' Raymond travel all that distance?" said, "I don't even know where we "Certainly," Korko said. "Put were." any person any place you want to. "Here's a souvenir I brought 124 FANTASY .AND SCIENCE FICTIOS back," Korko handed him a small Raymond picked up a stone paperweight. "Notice the pretty and examined it carefully. "Then design." I won't be seeing you again?" "It looks like a sickle," Ray­ "Well, I really should be get­ mond said, "and a hammer. But ting home," Korko said. He looked we shouldn't keep this-not with­ at Raymond for a moment. "I out paying." don't suppose you have any gum­ "Aha," Korko took off his drops left? I'd give anything to crown, looked at it and put it back know how to make them." on. "Not without paying. What do "I have a whole sack of them we pay with?" back at the house," Raymond said. Raymond held out a nickle. "I "You have?" he grinned de­ guess this should be enough. Any­ lightedly. "I could have my royal how it's all I've got." alchemist work out the formula. "I'll take it to them," Korko I'll be here first thing in the morn­ said, "You wait right here," and ing." he was gone. "Good bye Korko." Raymond In a moment he was back smil­ turned and headed back toward ing happily. "How fast they get his house. things done," he said. "Just in the Molly was in the kitchen when little time since we were there­ he got there. "You're late," she the table tipped over, chairs said; "what have you been doing smashed up ;md soldiers all all afternoon?" around. I picked out the fattest Raymond got himself a drink man and gave him the money. He of water. "I talked with a new jumped back and threw it on the kid," he said. "We went to see floor." He shook his head admir­ Piggy, but he wasn't there." ingly. "It's a pleasure to do busi­ "Honestly Raymond. Piggy ness with such fine exciting peo­ moved to Idaho last year-you ple." knew that. Some of the stories you He walked over to the ship and make up-" She shook her head. looked inside. "Enough fuel for a "\Vash your hands now, supper's takeoff," he announced. "Better be ready." going." Raymond took his place at the "You have to go home?" Ray­ table. "Aren't you going to eat?" mond asked. ''I'm going out to dinner with "First I have to move closer to Walter," she said. the sun," Korko said, "for solar Raymond scowled. "I don't like energy. It will take about 12 hours Walter much. I wish he'd leave us to store up enough for the trip alone. I wish we could keep the home." farm just the way it is.'' 1'11£ GUMDROP KII'G 125 "I know," Molly said, "I do too." Molly came to the door. "Right She sat down and rested her arms on time," she said. on the table. "But you've got to Walter came up the walk. He understand, Raymond, we can't was handsomely dressed and knew afford to keep up this big place for it and he walked slowly enough so just the two of us." everybody could tell. He glanced "You could marry Bartholo­ coldly at Raymond and turned to mew," he said. "Then he could Molly. "Look at the condition of live here and help keep the place the bov's clothes," he said. "Does up." he hav'e to go around looking like Molly reached out and a tramp?" all he can do to support himself. "I know," she said, "but after Nobody wants to buy his paint­ all, Walter, it's vacation and he ings." plays hard." "They will." Raymond swal­ "Then perhaps it's time he lowed a mouthful of potato and learned to work hard," Walter took a gulp of milk. "Next month said, "instead of mooning around his picture is going to win first all day. I think maybe a good stiff prize. Then everybody will want military school might be the an­ to buy them." swer." Molly reached out and "Walter-he's onlv a child." smoothed back a lock of his hair. "Only a child, is he-" He "You're just like Dad always was," reached down and picked up the she said, "impractical and opti· paperweight Raymond had been mistic. I don't know-" She traced holding. He looked at it more a crack in the table top. "Maybe closely and held it out to Molly, that's the best way to be." his hand trembling with fury. "Sure it is," Raymond said. "Just how do you explain this? "Bart's going to win first prize. Young man-answer me!" His Second prize too." voice was choked with indigna­ She smiled. "It's wonderful to tion, "Where did this come from?" have big dreams, but somebody Raymond looked down at the has to be practical. The thing you steps. "I got it from a ldd I know," want most isn't always what's best. he said. You're doing so well in school it Walter turned to Molly, ''You would be a shame if you couldn't hear that?" he demanded. "That's go to college. That takes a lot of the sort of trash and riff-raff you money. Now go on and finish allow him to associate with." your supper-I have to change." "\Valter, I'm sure it doesn't Raymond was sitting on the mean anything," she said. "Chil­ front steps when \Valter arrived. dren collect all kinds of things." 126 FANTASY Al\D SCIE:\CE FICTIOI\ "Do they indeed?" Walter "Another thing," Walter said, slipped the paperweight into his "you can just stop eating that stuff pocket. "Well, this particular -ruining your teeth-running thing is going to be turned over to up dental bills. You'd better not the proper authorities first thing forget." in the morning." Raymond studied the candy "Whatever you think best." thoughtfully. Molly started down the steps. "Raymond, where are your "Goodnight Raymond, we won't manners?" Molly asked. "Walter be late." spoke to you. Say goodnight." "Okay," he said. He picked up "Goodnight Molly," he dropped a paper sack from the floor beside the gumdrops back in the sack. him and took out some gumdrops. "Goodbye Walter," he said.

Through Time And Space With Ferdinand Feghoot: Llll

It was not often that Ferdinand Feghoot was mistaken in matters of interplanetary business. Once, however, in 2073, his advice was requested by a Mrs. Klipspringer, a famous breeder of pedi­ greed dogs who lived in a small town in Connecticut. So successful had she been that she was planning to extend her operations to other planets. Feghoot considered very carefully, and finally informed her that no bank in the universe would lend her the necessary capital. "Then I shall go to old Silas Quibble, the money lender right back in my home town!" she flared. Quibble was a notoriously tough customer; and Feghoot, with a smile, asked what she proposed to put up as collateral. "My favorite dog," she angrily answered, "Triple Galactic Grand Champion Fu Chu of Chow Yuk!" Feghoot coldly informed her that she would be wasting her time, and ushered her out. The very next day, she came back in triumph, waving Silas Quibble's certified cheque. "He advanced every cent of it," she exulted, "and a few thousand morel" Ferdinand Feghoot leaped to his feet in astonishment. "I stand amazed!" he cried out. "Si lent upon a Peke in Darien!" -GRENDEL BRIARTON (with thanks to Ruth S. Perot) EDITORIAL

Some few years ago, engaged in the task of finding out the first name of Captain Dominis, father of the prince-consort to Liliuokalani, last Monarch of Hawaii, we uncovered in the Fifth Avenue Library a file of a Honolulu newspaper dated (approx­ imately) 1844. This journal was The Seaman's Friend and Tem­ perallce Advocate; impaled upon the impossible contradiction con­ tained in its title, it had, naturally, but a short life. Flipping through its ancient pages, we suddenly saw a NAME leap from the text, and strike us in the eye. lf Mr. Herman Melville, the brief notice read, formerly an officer aboard the American whale-ship Achushnet, will call at the office of the seamen's chaplaitz, he will fmd several letters directed to his address ... That was all. We never did find Captain Domin is's first name, but no matter: we had solved the Mystery of Moby Dick forever. That white whale which Ahab-Melville pursued forever through the distant seas, the fearsome symbol which entire pods of spouting Ph.D.s have in­ terpreted as Evil, Sexual Love, Sibling Rivalry, and G-d-knows­ what-was nothing of the sort. It was the letters, mark you, Bosun, the several letters, white-white-forever elusive. 'Who wrote them, we will never know. Perhaps they were anonymous. We have a similar problem here. Anonymous letters directed to this address, after being run through the telescan for clues, are taken out by Horatio, our elderly office-boy, and burned in the gar­ den (the witchbane is a trifle sickly this season, but the venus fly­ traps are doing well). It was just last week that one such missive arrived, and as it mentioned not only us but our Contributing Science Editor, the two of us examined it together. "Avram David­ son [the totally disarming first sentence began] is the last of the literary craftsmen and, without question, one of the greatest writ­ ers of this age. ["Right away, a nut!" said Dr. Asimov.] Isaac Asimov, despite his tender years, was one of the most prolific contributors to the Golden Age of Science Fiction. His work was original, con­ vincing, and thoroughly readable. Why 'was'? I'm sure I don't know ... so what happens? With names like this out comes a magazine that should better be called 'Popular Insanity.' What hap­ pened? The depression? Believe me, we all feel it. When it rains it rains all over. But there must be a way around it. If you can't afford better writers, maybe you can spur those you have to do 127 128 better.•.. Sincerest wishes for a prompt and complete recovery. Cordially, The Flea." ["I told you: a nut," said Dr. Asimov; and departed, on the Night Mail, for Boston.] We regret, of course, that T. Flea does not like our current product. Most of our other readers do, as is proven by our steady rise in circulation. We bear Mr. F. no malice, but think it only fair to warn him that we are on his trail. And when we hunt him down, his punishment will be to read for one month all the stories which we receive but do not buy. The rest of our public will continue, of course, to be treated only to first fruits and primest parts. -Avram Davidson

The 20th World Science Fiction Convention will be held Labor Day Weekend at the Congress Hotel in , and is open to everybody. Send $3 registration fee to George Price, Treasurer, POB 4864, Chicago 80, Illinois, and get the Convention's interest­ whetting Progress Reports-Or, pay when you come to the Con­ vention itself (if you can't attend, $2 gets you all Reports anyway). The witty Wilson ("Bob") Tucker is Master of Ceremonies, Theo­ dore Sturgeon is Guest of Honor, and other famous SF writers (and editors) will participate in the serious talk and in the fun. So­ save up your pennies, and accumulate your rocks, and buy your favorite author (and/or editor) a drink at the Convention bar. He may even speak to you. ************************* i MARKET PLACE ~ i t ************************* NEW CONCEPT of leamlng self-hypnoslsl Now BOOKS-MAGAZINES on tape or record! Free literature. McKinley­ Smith Co. Dept. T16, Box 3038, San Bernardino, SCIENCE-FICTION book bargains. List free. Calif. Werewolf Bookshop, Verona 15, Pa. Locate any book. Aardvarks Fantasy, Box HYPNOTISM-little known method-free infor­ 66B, San Diego 12, Calif. matlon-Dr. Aram Azadion-Fowler, Callfomla. Anderson, de Camp, Leiber, Moorcock discuss swordplay-&-sorcery: Amra-5 issues 1:-Box PERSONAL 9006, Arlington 9, Va. Any woman enjoying F&SF write bachelor. SF Magazines and Paperbacks. List Free. D. Hunter T. Cotton, 3-40 E. 6th Street, Apt. 10. Jauvtis, 1150 Pelham Parkway, Bronx 61, New N.Y. 3, N.Y. York.

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Science fiction and fantasy books for sale. Will PHONOGRAPH RECORDS also buy collections. Gordon Barber, 35 Min­ neapolis Ave., Duluth, Minnesota. RODDY McDOWEll reads The Horror Stories of H. P. LOVECRAFT. BURGESS MEREDITH reads BOOKPLATES RAY BRADBURY. 12" long-play LP Records send $-4.98 PP. lively Arts, 203 So. Washington Ave., Bergenfield, N.J. FREE CATALOG many designs including SF and engineering. Address bookplates, Yellow Springs 4, Ohio. SERVICES-AUTHORS

FANZINES AUTHORS: Submit your manuscripts for free editorial evaluation. We publish work by new authors on all subjects: poetry, fiction, non­ Revived! Rhodomagnetic Digest, 25¢ ta LITTLE fiction, juveniles, religious studies. Greenwich MEN, 1855 Woodland, Palo Alto, Calif. Book Publishers, Attention Mr. Clark, -489 Fifth Ave., N.Y.C. HYPNOTISM PUBLISH your bookl Join our successful authors! publicity advertising promotion, beautiful books. Free Illustrated, Hypnotism Catalogue. Write: All subjects invited. Send for free appraisal and Powers, 8721 Sunset, Hollywood -49, California. detailed booklet. Carlton Press, Dept. FSH, 8-4 Fifth Avenue, N.Y.C. 11. LEARN WHILE ASLEEP, Hypnotize with your recorder, phonograph. Astonishing details, sensational catalog free. Sleep-learning Re­ AUTHORS! learn how ta have your book pub­ searc~ Association, Box 2-4-FS, Olympia, lished, promoted, distributed. Free booklet SF, Wash•ngtan. Vantage, 120 West 31 St., New York 1.

Do you llave sometlling to advertise to sf readers? looks, magazines, typewriters, telescopes, computers, space-drives, or misc. Use tile F&SF Market Place at tllese low, low rates: $2.50 for minimum of ten (10) words, plus 25- for eacll additional word. Send copy and remiHance to: Adv. Dept., Fantasy and Science Fiction, 347 fast 53 Street, New York 22, N. Y. 129 HANDWRITING ANALYZED Special Analysis MISCELLANEOUS $1.00. Eva, Box 202-A, Eagle, Idaho.

T-lve legendary gems and minerals with in­ Fortune Telling by Reading Palms. 120 Page il­ formation on each for $3.00 postpaid. Price list lustrated guide. $3.00. Baston, 515 Carr Street, of minerals or shells on request. Southeastern Augusta, Georgia. Mineral Co. Box 2537, Lakeland, Flordia. "HOMEBREWINGI •.• Beers ••• Wines." In­ struction Manual $1 (guaranteedl). Crystal's INDEPENDENT THINKERS-investigate Human­ M71-BFW2, Hoboken, New Jersey. isml Free literature. American Humanist Associa· lion, Dept. Fl, Yellow Springs, Ohio. HYPNOTISE! Practical Instruction Course $1 (guaranteed!). Crystal's M71-PFW2, Hoboken, New Jersey. DRUG Sundries Complete line of Rubber Goods­ Nationally Advertised Brands VITAMINS Etc. Write for freo catalog. Federal Pharmacial Sup­ BIRTH CONTROL. 34 methods explained. lllus· ply Inc. Dept. FSF, 6652 North Western Avenue, !rated, $2.98. Eaco, Box 1242-B, Santa Rosa, Chicago 45, Illinois. California. MYSTERIES, housecleaning Mercury, Bestseller, Investigators, write for free brochure on latest and Jonathan mystery books-7 different titles 1ubminiature electronic listening devices. Dept. for $1. (our selection). Dept. CN, Mercury Press, ZF, 11500 NW 7th Ave., Miami 50, Fla. P.O. Box 271, Rockville Centre, N. Y.


A market is people-alert, intelligent, active people. Here you can reach 168,000 people (averaging three readers per copy -56,000 paid circulation). Many of them are enthusiastic hobbyists­ collecting books, magazines, stamps, coins, model rockets, etc.-actively interested in photography, music, astronomy, painting, sculpture, elec­ tronics. If you have a product or service of merit, tell them about it. The price is right: $2.50 for a minimum of ten ( 10) words, plus 25¢ for each additional word. Advertising Dept., Fantasy & Science Fiction 347 East 53 St., New York 22, N. Y.

130 Eight

J· .... '-'.:~ stories by .. · t;· j~ HI£11 ff·AMM£TT ' . Complete


Unabridged 50¢

at most J-;.;.:.;1 ~ newsstands ~··- ."~-· .fi'·, ,l<;!t;.r @)· o./. 'tl t; ,.... "'"' ,., l ?.~~~.~~..~_!.. .~ ~:~1te· . This is the ninth and final collection· of ' :; :,. -;.·~Iam:mett short stories to he published by Mercury Publica~ .· t.!;·'" ·'-l "·" -,~!:_:---~~.(~n.s. ,;{ The preceding eight (8) hooks in this series are no~~

!_ ~~; ~~f;_ i;:(f: ,~~t of print.) In addition to the title story, the other .'·~· .·.:;·.~t-ories are WAGES OF CRIME, THE GATEWOOD CAPER, .. l. ·--":.' . . · •.,: ;J;H:E BARBER AND HIS WIFE, ITCHY THE DEBONAIR~ . ' SECOND-STORY ANGEL, IN THE MORGUE ~a'~(:f LUCK'S RUNNING GOOD, each with 'a speci~l