The Obamas Got a New Portuguese Water Dog Named Sunny. President Obama Said He Regretfully
THE BITS…
The Obamas got a new dog named Sunny. They say Sunny is a Portuguese water dog that was born in June 2012 in Michigan. However, a certain fringe element is claiming Sunny was actually born in Kenya.
The Obamas got a new Portuguese water dog named Sunny. President Obama said he regretfully accepted Bo’s letter of resignation.
The Obamas got a new Portuguese water dog named Sunny. Republicans are criticizing the president for not getting an American water dog.
The first official photos of the royal baby have been released. They say it’s hard to tell if the baby looks more like Kim or Kanye.
A couple of gunrunners were arrested after they were caught smuggling hundreds of illegal firearms into New York City. Even worse, they were also caught bringing in oversized sodas.
A couple of gunrunners were arrested after they were caught smuggling hundreds of illegal firearms into New York City. It’s the second case of illegal guns in New York if you count Alex Rodriguez’s biceps.
TV weatherman Al Roker is 59 today. Al’s forecast for today calls for widely scattered cake.
A number of people called police emergency hotlines in Fairfield, Connecticut when their cable went out during Breaking Bad. Police had to remind callers the numbers are only for emergencies, like when the cable goes out during True Blood.
SON OF THE BITS…
Rumor has it that the next iPhone will be available in the color gold. For what they charge for those things, they should be available in real gold.
According to a New York Times report, 20 percent of American adults don't use the Internet. If you don’t believe me, just Google it.
According to a New York Times report, 20 percent of American adults don't use the Internet. Without the Internet you’d have to put stamps on your e-mail.
According to a new report, squeezing a woman’s breasts can help prevent breast cancer. Meanwhile, embattled San Diego Mayor Bob Filner now claims he was just helping women cure their cancer.
According to a new report, squeezing a woman’s breasts can help prevent breast cancer. Trust me, it can also get you kicked out of Hooters.
Last night the TLC channel aired the special The Man with 132 Pound Scrotum. Life isn’t easy for the guy. Bowling alleys constantly crank call him to ask if he has 132 pounds balls.
A 70-year-old man in Australia was hospitalized following some sexual activity in which a 4-inch fork became lodged inside his thing. Apparently his wife is hard of hearing and thought he asked her to fork him.
Authorities are trying to identify a man whose body was found floating offshore in the Florida Keys. They say the man had a number of tattoos, including one on his upper arm that said "I am what I am". Apparently someone didn’t eat their spinach.
TODAY’S BITMAN AUDIO…
Today on the Bitman audio feed we have reality fun with Real Housewives, Get out Alive with Bear Grylls, Siberia, and The Man with 132 Pound Scrotum; drama with Under the Dome plus late night fun with Chelsea.
Plus more from Ron Jordan and the Bitman audio archive! It’s all at BitmanComedy.com in the Subscribers area
Not hearing anything? TV Sound bites are available at BitmanComedy.com! If you need access to the site, contact Adrienne Munos at United Stations Radio Network at 561-381-7598 or
TINSELTOWN TATTLER…
Former Disney star LEE THOMPSON YOUNG committed suicide yesterday. Young starred on the show The Famous Jett Jackson and was currently appearing as Detective Barry Frost on TNT's Rizzoli & Isles. When he didn’t show up on the set yesterday morning, staffers had police check up on him and they found the body with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. Young was 29 and he left no note, although he did keep a diary, but that apparently left no immediate clues.
Got any naked pictures of DEMI LOVATO? Someone apparently does and they’re shopping them to the tabloids! The X-rated selfies show a young woman that’s either Demi or someone that looks exactly like her in various compromising positions, including some in which she’s nude in a bathtub and others where she’s lying topless in bed. Assuming it is Demi, and the tattoos do seem to match, it would be ironic because it was just last year that she faked having her Twitter account hacked and wrote: "Demi's twitter is hacked. Want to see Demi naked? Here it is..," before posting a photo of a naked Barbie doll with her head poorly Photoshopped on top. (More on Demi in Dateline Hollywood)
The Twitter feud between LADY GAGA and PEREZ HILTON rages on with Gaga accusing Hilton of stalking her and claiming he was trying to move into her apartment building in New York. Hilton responded by releasing a statement saying, "My heart hurts that my former very good friend Lady Gaga, a person I used to call my 'wifey' and traveled the world with, is making very public and very untrue allegations about me on Twitter." Hilton added, "As the suggestion that I pose a danger to Gaga is preposterous, if fans want to send a message of support to her, they should buy her music." A new rumor has it that the feud started when Hilton told Gaga to get help for her substance abuse problem. They say she was in compete denial about her problems, and told him that if he didn’t shut up about it, she’d cut him out of her life. The story seems to have some credibility because Hilton also tweeted about how drugs don't just ruin lives, they ruin friendships and careers too. (More on Lady Gaga in Music Notes)
TINSELTOWN TATTLER 2…
DICK VAN DYKE had to be rescued from his burning car on the 101 Freeway in Los Angeles yesterday afternoon. Another motorist pulled over when he saw the car engulfed in smoke and found Van Dyke struggling to get out. Van Dyke was a bit shaken, but required no medical treatment, although the car was completely gutted by the fire.
OLIVIA MUNN dislocated her shoulder while swinging! Before you get the wrong idea, Olivia was actually playing on an indoor swing until the rope broke and sent her crashing to the ground. On the upside, Olivia is a candidate for "America's Funniest Home Videos" as the incident was captured on video and she shared it with fans. (See here)
BRENDAN FRASER is trying to get his $50,000 monthly alimony payments to his ex-wife lowered. His career isn’t what it once was and he claims he’s losing $87,000 every month. However, his ex claims he’s doing fine thanks to several recent films like "Extraordinary Measure" and "Furry Vengeance" and still has a net worth of $25 million.
Real Housewives of Atlanta star KIM ZOLCIAK was apparently tardy for something as she announced she’s having twins. It’s her fifth pregnancy, if you’re keeping score.
PRINCE WILLIAM and wife KATE MIDDLETON released the first official photos with their newborn son George. William also gave his first interview since his son was born and said that fatherhood has already changed him. He added that Prince George is "a little bit of a rascal" and "he does like to keep having his nappy changed." William also said wife Catherine was "doing a fantastic job" and that "As any new parent knows, you're only too happy to show off your new child and…proclaim that he is the best looking or the best everything."
DATELINE HOLLYWOOD…
New Movies on DVD:
Epic - Animated tale of good and evil forces battling deep in the forest.
Scary Movie 5 - Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan in bed for a couple of minutes and then the usual fun.
New TV on DVD:
The A-Team: Season Five
Being Human: Season Five
The Best of American Pickers: Mike & Frank's Picks
Best of Pawn Stars: The Greatest Stories Ever Sold
The Best of Storage Wars: Life in the Locker
Boardwalk Empire: The Complete Third Season
Cheyenne: The Complete Sixth Season
The Good Wife: The Fourth Season
Hunted: The Complete First Season
Mike & Molly: The Complete Third Season
NCIS: Los Angeles - The Fourth Season
NCIS: The Tenth Season
Parenthood (2010): Season 4
Revenge: The Complete Second Season
Star Trek Enterprise: The Complete Second Season
DATELINE HOLLYWOOD 2…
DEMI LOVATO will appear in at least six episodes of GLEE this season. She’ll play Dani, an artist who befriends Rachel and Santana in New York.
Songwriter and producer DR. LUKE is said to be in talks to join the AMERICAN IDOL judging panel after negotiations with will.i.am stalled over money issues. Dr. Luke has collaborated with Ke$ha, The Wanted and Katy Perry and was co-executive producer of Britney Spears's Femme Fatale album.
KYM JOHNSON has announced her departure from the DANCING WITH THE STARS ballroom because of an "amazing work opportunity." However, she says she’ll be back for the season after this upcoming one.
Several BREAKING BAD fans in Fairfield, Connecticut called the local police department to report a cable TV outage during Sunday's episode of Breaking Bad. One fan even called 911 and the police department posted a message on their Facebook page asking people to stop calling them and to call their local cable company instead, reminding them that misusing 911 could lead to their arrest.
MUSIC NOTES…
New Music in Stores Today…
Blue October - “Sway”
Jimmy Buffett - “Songs From St. Somewhere”
Lee DeWyze - “Frames”
Tracy Lawrence - “Headlights, Taillights and Radios”
John Mayer - “Paradise Valley”
1 Girl Nation - “1 Girl Nation”
Ricky Skaggs & Bruce Hornsby - “Cluck Ol’ Hen”
Superchunk - “I Hate Music”
Earl Sweatshirt - “Doris”
Reissues
Fleetwood Mac - “Then Play On: Deluxe Edition” (1969 album; remastered, with four bonus tracks)
Fleetwood Mac - “Fleetwood Mac 1969 to 1972 [Vinyl box set]“ (contains the albums “Then Play On,” “Kiln House,” “Future Games,” “Bare Trees” and “Oh Well”)
Jimi Hendrix - “Jimi Hendrix Experience Box Set” (four CDs, 60 songs)
The Lumineers - “The Lumineers (Deluxe Edition)” (2012 album, with five bonus tracks, plus a DVD containing more than 25 minutes of stage performance, behind-the-scenes footage and interviews)
The Monkees - “Headquarters: The Deluxe Edition” (1967 album; remastered; two CDs, with 22 bonus tracks)
DVD / Blu-ray
Journey - “Don’t Stop Believin’: Everyman’s Journey [DVD]“ (2012 documentary of the story of Arnel Pineda, the Filipino singer who was picked to front the group)
MUSIC NOTES 2…
THE CALLING lead singer Alex Band says he was abducted in Michigan and then beaten and robbed. He supposedly sustained a spinal fracture, three broken teeth and needed 15 stitches in his chin before he begged to his captors, "Don't kill me as I am about to be a dad," and they responded, "We don't kill fathers" and let him go. Band released photos of his injuries, which don’t seem as severe as you might imagine and some are saying it may be a hoax, since they just happen to have a comeback album on the way. (Hear 911 call here)
AEROSMITH has bailed on a pair of festival dates in China and Taiwan due to the local promoters’ failure to “meet contractual obligations.” Band members issued statements apologizing to fans. It would’ve been Aerosmith’s first visit to China.
After canceling a European tour earlier this month due to guitarist Poncho Sampredo's hand injury, NEIL YOUNG & CRAZY HORSE have now canceled a four-date North American tour. The band is still due to perform at next month’s Farm Aid concert.
A private jet carrying RATT and DOKKEN had to make an emergency landing in northwestern Illinois this past weekend after smoke was detected in the cabin. The plane landed safely and the band made it to their next gig via ground transportation
The body of a man was found on the grounds of OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN'S Florida home yesterday. Reports later said the man worked as a contractor for Olivia and her husband and that it was a suicide. Neither Olivia nor her husband were home at the time.
ED SHEERAN will appear as an advisor to CHRISTINA AGUILERA on THE VOICE this season. Look for Ed during the Battle Rounds in October.
MUSIC NOTES 3…
MTV says that LADY GAGA will open this year’s Video Music Awards with her song "Applause." The awards will be handed out this Sunday night.
KATY PERRY just released Roar, but songwriter Bonnie McKee is already talking about her next single and she says it’ll be "a big one." Bonnie co-wrote Roar with Katy and she describes the next single as really colorful and really bright
MILEY CYRUS was on "Fashion Police" with Kelly Osbourne and explained her transition from Disney star to an adult by saying, "It's called puberty. Everyone's done it from the beginning of time. I'm just doing it, so you're zooming in on it and you're fascinated by it." (See here)
KELLY CLARKSON will release a Christmas album just in time for Halloween. Kelly’s Wrapped in Red album will be out on October 29th and will feature original songs, plus holiday classics.
BEYONCE was booed during her appearance in England over the weekend after she showed up 20 minutes late as fans waited in the rain. Many fans left before the show was over, upset over frequent stoppages in the show for extended breaks and video intervals.
RIHANNA may have something going with A$AP ROCKY after they were photographed kissing on the set of their new music video. Apparently the kissing continued even when the cameras stopped rolling.
Several CHRIS BROWN concerts in Canada have been cancelled. The promoter says the shows were canceled after consulting with Brown and in light of his recent health-related and personal issues, including his new community service order.