§ The insecure mirror § Flipped: The journey of Karabasan and Elkisave or, the battle of Other Elif Ozbay The Insecure Mirror - Elif Ozbay 1 This thesis was developed and written with the supervision of Ash Sarkar as part of the requirements needed to obtain the MA degree in Fine Art and Design with the program Shadow Channel, Film, Design & Propaganda, at the Sanberg Instituut in Amsterdam, under the direction of Juha van 't Zelfde. 2 Elif Ozbay - The Insecure Mirror Thank you, to the Madman, the Puncher and the Cosmic Other & Thank you Shadow Channel, may we always shimmer in the shadows Elif Ozbay The Insecure Mirror - Elif Ozbay 3 Elif Ozbay 4 Elif Ozbay - The Insecure Mirror Table of contents: Introduction: I. 7 II. 9 III. Characters 11 IV. The Storyteller 15 I saw something I knew was not there 17 When the mirror split 25 The unwanted reflection 29 The mirroring face or, that was not me 33 Derealized reflection 39 Disappearing otherness or, unreflectiveness 45 Vampires are people too (I.) 49 Vampires are people too (II.) 57 Vampires are people too (III.) 59 Conclusion: Karabasan and Elkisave watch a fight 63 Bibliography 66 Elif Ozbay The Insecure Mirror - Elif Ozbay 5 ‘All is vanity’ - 1892- Charles Allen Gilbert Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity. Ecclesiastes 1:2 6 Elif Ozbay - The Insecure Mirror Introduction I. If a mirror is 1 foot tall, you can see two feet worth of yourself in that mirror. So, to see your full body, you would need to use a mirror that is half your height. But how much can you ‘really’ see of yourself, reflected? What more is there to see? We watch ourselves act and pose reflected on shiny surfaces multiple times a day, and the mere existence of the reflective self is proven the moment one looks at her/ himself in the mirror, questioning one’s style or thought, looking for perfections or imperfections. Once playful and wonderful observations in the mirror stage, now confronted with the dread of narcissism. Cursed Echo, mirroring only what others say, watched her love Narcissus love his reflected life away. The look is deadly. Vanity is deadly. For it creates a labyrinth of repetition, same gazes over and over again. Is the mirror self to be trusted? Is the eye that ‘looks’ and ‘takes in’ to be trusted? Is it me or you who controls movement through space. The copy is forever captured in the shimmer. Promising as a product, The Looking Glass is uncanny. ‘You’re so vain, you probably think this song is about you, you’re so vain.’ A chapter in Pride, the pride that lures you into the abyss. The abyss that keeps the monstrous. The tormentor becomes the tormented. The reflection is either what I love or hate. The maze of mirrors folds into itself when the abyss gazes into thee. Lodge - Dislodged - Long - Belonging - Missing - Mirroring - Mise en abyme - Doppelganger The Insecure Mirror - Elif Ozbay 7 As kids, my younger brother and I used to love wandering around at the library, especially in the back, where they would keep VHS tapes in a very funky bookshelf you could slide open. Weirdly, I always ended up looking at the covers of horror movies, because they looked so incredibly mysterious to me. The liking of these films, logically, was a rebellious act towards the taste of my parents, who would enjoy the most excessively dramatic Turkish movies, which for us was just too realistic and therefore impossible to believe. Living in the borderlands of two worlds (like vampires, if you will) not resembling the homogenous population (white and very catholic) of the conservative town in which we lived and grew up in, also created in some ways, the urgent sense and need to break apart from that reality. I needed the bizarre and the fantastic to cope with my own identity, and these films would teach me how to place myself in this surreal society. I wanted and needed ‘other.’ Later, the sense of belonging, believing, or the pretending of not belonging, ‘displaced’ or ‘dislodged’, senses of dual, even multiple identities became more tactile and presented themselves to me in very cinematic (and projecting, mirroring) kind of ways. Mirroring philosophies, or the copy of a copy, I saw the beauty in the worst - fell in love with the gore and horror, romanticized the martyr and had troubles with the bad boy. I made a hobby of seeing things that were not there, connected with stories that, in a way, were not meant for me. Struggles and joys of others not like me. So, I reimagined them. Like I was 8 Elif Ozbay - The Insecure Mirror Introduction II. the narrator. The Storyteller. Only to make way for me, to see myself reflected and represented. As a response, this way of dreaming created a performative fictional character. My younger brother who joined me to the library found his way of establishing his world as well. His was a place of reenactments and plays. Mostly with Action Man figurines. Like me, a storyteller but, in his case, never the protagonist. This thesis is a journey. Mine and his. And, it is precisely this narrative that will prove the urgency and purpose of reflecting the self to the mirror self. The mirror will be used symbolically to guide our characters through chapters and sequences. All the while not forgetting that the mirror thus becomes a character in itself as well. My character self and my brother’s character perhaps won’t begin at the same start line, but the gunshot is fired right here and now. The characters might end up meeting each other in the end. For now, I will be Elkisave, and my brother will be Karabasan. Known Turkish folkloric night creatures, demons or Jinns, for Elkisave and Karabasan are our monstrous selves, waiting. The Insecure Mirror - Elif Ozbay 9 Not To Be Reproduced Portrait of Edward James - 1937 - Rene Magritte 10 Elif Ozbay - The Insecure Mirror III. Characters The Mirror The mirror is the medium. The symbolical object to reflect in, reflect through, reflect on. It gives shape to the way the story will be told. An oracle sometimes. The mirror is the society. It can be split, broken or liquid. Used as a weapon or a communicative tool. What it reflects, depends on who looks. Sometimes the protagonist can’t see all. It is the abyss, keeper of monstrous selves. It is a symbol for the duality within. The creator of the doppelganger. It is the element for mise en abyme. The demon lives in the mirror. The undead won’t be reflected. The spirit is just a reflection only the viewer gets to see. The mirror stage spans beyond, leaving us still trying to figure out how to trust the reflection. A paradox is a mirror - it swallows the questions - neglected minority representation - What do we see? • The mirror holds the soul • With the mirror we start our story, our exploration, developing an understanding of its possibilities, functions and power. Mirror double, divided • Mise en Abyme • The Insecure Mirror - Elif Ozbay 11 ‘The Puncher, Kardes, Brother’ Still from film KARABASAN - 2018 - Karabasan ‘Sivasin Yollarina’ (The Roads of Sivas) Still from film SIVAS - 2018 - Elkisave 12 Elif Ozbay - The Insecure Mirror III. Characters Karabasan Also known in other cultures as the mere, the one that rides on people’s chests when they are asleep, bringing on bad dreams. Our Karabasan is a boxer. He is alone, resides in the garage, punching a bag, grunting and screaming, puffing air, in and out, rhythmically to leather meeting leather in volatile ways. MashAllah. Masculine exploitation. The punching bag is a mirror - facing your other self - your evil self - the demon is in the reflection - extreme and reclaiming his stereotyping - afraid of the look and the gazing patriarchy • Chest puncher - the puncher - punching through mirrors and doors - holes - ripping the flowers out of the ground - frustrated - looking for roots in mud - takes the breath away - conflicting bad boy story - the selfless other - divided and split - unreflective and hit - dissociative derealization - faces fade after a time - disillusions - diasporic • Elkisave Or karakura, a creature my mother told me about. It is known specifically to the Sivas and Erzincan regions, where my mother is from. Karakura is an evil and hungry spirit. Without a specific shape - but light as a cat and known to be vivacious - Prevents sleepers from breathing and has the ability to steal your lungs. The Karakura in Erzincan is a creature with a goat’s head, who kneels down on your chest. The creature is afraid of sunlight - becomes solid in the morning, that’s when you can capture it • If you can make it swear to you, like you’re a god, the Karakura will guide you through horrors • Looks innocent - like the virgo in horror films - sentimental and nostalgic - hardcore cult and pop - unreflective - undead - shifts like a vampire - mirrors others more - night stalker - divided and split - confronting looks - diasporic • The Insecure Mirror - Elif Ozbay 13 “For now we see through a glass darkly” 1 Corinthians 13:12 14 Elif Ozbay - The Insecure Mirror IV. The storyteller The cultural and universal power in the mythological and folkloric knowledge told through a particular way of storytelling is exactly the type of narrative that we should long for. Because the teller of these stories manipulates and re-creates — giving the creature extreme cultural depth and possibilities. Where not only the storyteller will have to face the reflective self, but the listener in his/ her way as well.