americangirl.com a smart girl’s guide | a smart girl’s liking herself —even on the bad days liking as a bad day got you LIKING HERSELF LIKING down? Is low self- esteem making you feel herself—even on the bad days blue? In A Smart Girl’s Guide to Liking Herself—Even on the secrets to trusting yourself, being your best the Bad Days, you’ll learn how & never letting the bad days bring you down having high self-confidence can turn a good day into a great day, while having low self-esteem can turn a bad day into a nightmare. You’ll learn tips for trusting yourself, ideas for boosting your self-esteem (or for keeping it up), and ways to feel your best in all kinds of situations. You are perfect just as you are, and this book will help you believe that to be true! Look for these and other bestselling books from American Girl: This book is available as an e-book. ) $12.99 U.S. FNL17-EB1A ™ MADE IN CHINA Discover online games, quizzes, activities, HECHO EN CHINA and more at FABRIQUÉ EN CHINE americangirl.com/play LB_FNL17_Cover.indd 1 6/30/17 9:23 AM Liking Herself —even on the bad days the secrets to trusting yourself, being your best & never letting the bad days bring you down by Dr. Laurie Zelinger illustrated by Jennifer Kalis LB_FNL17_Pages.indd 1 6/29/17 6:02 PM Dear Reader, Growing up can be hard. Lots of things keep changing in your life: your body, your family, your school, and your friends. One day everything may feel perfect, and the next day it feels as if things couldn’t get any worse. Those are the bad days. They happen to everyone—yes, everyone! And while there may be no way to escape bad days, it’s important to remember that sometimes the dif- ference between a bad day and a terrible day just depends on what you think of yourself. It’s called your self-esteem. When your self-esteem is high, it can make a good day seem even better and a terrible day not as bad. But when your self-esteem is low, it can make a good day not so good and a bad day even worse. In this book, you’ll learn the difference between high and low self-esteem and figure out where you stand. You’ll find ways to boost your self-esteem if it’s low and ways to keep it pumped up so that it doesn’t dip in the future. With the tips in this book, you’ll be on your way to being the best you can be, so that you always like yourself a lot—even on bad days. Your friends at American Girl LB_FNL17_Pages.indd 3 6/29/17 6:02 PM Published by American Girl Publishing All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 QP 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Editorial Development: Carrie Anton Art Direction and Design: Camela Decaire Production: Jeannette Bailey, Sarah Boecher, Caryl Boyer, Tami Kepler, Judith Lary, Kristi Lively, Cynthia Stiles Illustrations: Jennifer Kalis Special thanks to: Dr. Fred Zelinger, Dr. Jerry Weisfogel, Sarah Derene, Jessica Buzel © 2018 American Girl. All rights reserved. Todos los derechos reservados. Tous droits réservés. All American Girl marks are trademarks of American Girl. Marcas registradas utilizadas bajo licencia. American Girl ainsi que les marques et designs y afférents appartiennent à American Girl. MADE IN CHINA. HECHO EN CHINA. FABRIQUÉ EN CHINE. Retain this address for future reference: American Girl, 8400 Fairway Place, Middleton, WI 53562, U.S.A. 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LB_FNL17_Pages.indd 2 6/29/17 6:02 PM contents self-esteem: the basics . 7 what is self-esteem? quiz self-esteem stoplight what does self-esteem look like? where does self-esteem come from? can I change my self-esteem? it’s all about you . 19 once upon a time . you’ve changed—and that’s a good thing! emotions change, too retrain your brain the future factor is shyness stopping you? quiz are you the shy type? yikes! i can! . but sometimes it’s about others . 41 self-esteem starts at home new expectations talking to parents friendship ties great friendships quiz how friendly are you? making friends beware of frenemies we used to be friends LB_FNL17_Pages.indd 4 6/29/17 6:03 PM be your best . 63 quiz she,s so cool now it,s your turn to shine! a good goal is . step up your self-esteem . 73 dos and don,ts dealing with bad days skyrocket your self-esteem put your self-esteem on a fast track doing good for others is good for you spotlight your self-confidence speak up for self-esteem go solo to be strong show off your strength give your self-esteem some star power . but sometimes it’s about chat up your confidence others . 41 mold your self-esteem into a masterpiece help your self-confidence glow self-esteem starts at home you can do it! new expectations talking to parents friendship ties great friendships quiz how friendly are you? making friends beware of frenemies we used to be friends LB_FNL17_Pages.indd 5 6/29/17 6:03 PM 6 LB_FNL17_Pages.indd 6 6/29/17 6:03 PM self-esteem: the basics LB_FNL17_Pages.indd 7 6/29/17 6:03 PM what is self-esteem? Self-esteem is a feeling. It’s the opinion you have about yourself. Some people call it self-image, self-concept, or self-confidence. Whatever it’s called, it’s all about how much you like who you are. Self-esteem is not something that you can see on an X-ray or find out about from a blood test. It’s not a special place in your body that a doctor can feel or listen to when she examines you. Your self-esteem is part of you, but it’s not an actual body part. It’s the big idea you have about yourself that you carry with you in your heart and in your head. Your self-esteem is like a little voice that says: Give it a try! You’re terrific! Maybe you’ll be able to do it, because you’ve done hard things before! But if you can’t, it’s no big deal— you can always try again another time. When your self-esteem is high, you know you can do all kinds of things. When your self-esteem is low, you think you can’t. If you like yourself a lot, you probably have high self-esteem and a good self-image. But if you always find things wrong with yourself, you might have low self-esteem and decide new things aren’t even worth trying. LB_FNL17_Pages.indd 8 6/29/17 6:03 PM Quiz self-esteem stoplight Take this quiz and see what lights up on your self-esteem traffic light. 1. As you head to the cafeteria for lunch, you think, a. IreallyhopesomeonewillsitbymetodaysothatIdon’thaveto eataloneagain. b. IlikeeatingwithAmanda,butsometimesIwishwecouldsitata morecrowdedtable. c. IcanhardlywaituntillunchsothatIcanhangoutwithmy friends.They’resavingmeaseat. 2. You think your new haircut looks horrible. Before school, you . a. pretend you’re sick so that you can stay home and hide. b. pack a hat in your backpack and start counting down the days until your next haircut. c. accessorize your hair with a headband and make the best of it. After all, working with a new style takes some practice. 3. You walk into school and one of the popular girls says, “I like your owl shirt!” You . a. decide she is just being sarcastic. b. respond, “Who? Me?” c. smile and say, “Thanks! Isn’t it a hoot?” 9 LB_FNL17_Pages.indd 9 6/29/17 6:03 PM 4. Soccer tryouts are coming up. You decide that you’ll . a. never make the team, so there’s no point in trying out. b. try out in hopes that the coach will put you in any position, even though you secretly have always wanted to play goalie. c. start practicing at home with your sister. Your skills need work, but you’d never forgive yourself if you didn’t at least try. 5. The class bully tells you to move your books from “her spot.” You . a. move your stuff faster than the speed of light. b. roll your eyes in annoyance at her but then move your books to avoid starting any trouble. c. keep your books where they are and politely remind her that you were there first. 6. It’s Friday afternoon and you’re thinking about the weekend. You . a. decide that since no one has asked you to do anything, you’ll just hang out by yourself. b. watch TV and decide you’ll head outside if you see the girl next door playing in her yard. c. invite the new girl on the block over for pizza and a movie with you and your sister.