TAIPEI TIMES MONDAY, APRIL 2 0 , 2 0 0 9 PAGE 1 3 Do you know your grindcore from your hair metal? What is shredding — and can it be dangerous? And how many types of doom are there? Guitarist Doug Scarratt of Saxon, below, and Iron Maiden’s singer, Bruce Dickinson, right, BY Tim JonZE demonstrate two classic heavy metal poses. THE GUARDIAN, LONDON Metal PHOTOS: EPA AND AFP mania or Britons fond of middle- form of death metal. Death metal? had time to say: “Why?” aged men in short trousers Well, that’s the next step on from belting out double entendres, thrash. Thrash? Well — look, you HAIR IS EVERYTHING there is joyful news. AC/ get the picture. Bloggers have plotted a link FDC flew in this week for five For non-metallers who have between Metallica’s hair lengths dates taking in London, Dublin, never ridden the lightning or reigned and the quality of their rock over Manchester and the home of heavy in blood, the world of heavy metal the duration of their career. Clearly, metal itself, Birmingham. can seem impenetrable. Clearly hair is crucial. If it isn’t long, you For some, AC/DC are the some kind of idiot’s guide is needed, may as well sound like James ultimate heavy metal act, their if only to help people distinguish Blunt. Classic metal fashion sticks 1980 album Back in Black a high shredding and cymbal chokes. to boots, denim and a tattoo — of watermark of the genre; there is a skull, a weird beast, or even the even an exhibition in London at the BACH: THE FIRST HEADBANGER skull of a weird beast. Other styles moment charting their formative Black Sabbath are often hailed as can involve piercings, corpsepaint years. But for others, AC/DC aren’t the first heavy metal act, although (for that been-dead-a-year look) a heavy metal act at all, they’re a you will meet smart-asses who claim and looking like you’ve just escaped classic rock band — and calling that Led Zeppelin’s Whole Lotta from Middle Earth. them heavy metal is an act of Love (1969), the Beatles’ Helter treachery. In the age of economic Skelter (1968) or Jimi Hendrix’s AND FINALLY … and environmental meltdown, it’s Purple Haze (1967) was the first So there you have it. Next time good to know some people still feel heavy metal track. Skip them all you find yourself in a room full of strongly about these things. and say: “Actually, much of the hardened rockers with Pantera AC/DC may have remained virtuoso playing is inspired by lyrics tattooed down their necks, impervious to trends over their 36 classical artists, which makes Bach simply raise your devil horns, growl years together, but heavy metal the world’s first headbanger.” From a bit of grindcore and recite your itself now consists of so many then on, heavy metal just got louder. favorite (and only) Judas Priest fact. offshoots and technical terms, it And faster. Then louder and faster And when they start grilling you on can feel as if there’s a grindcore still. This reached a peak with death the finer points of Stormtroopers of gig going off inside your head. metal, where rhythms could hit Death’s back catalogue … just run Grindcore? Well, that’s an extreme 350bpm before anyone in the band away. Fast. Glossary after whacking it, for added rocking out. Classic album: The look a bit pants). NWOBHM the wearing of corpsepaint. The computer game? I once got to progressive. Mastodon’s • Headbanging: There are 17 emphasis. Because you know how Number of the Beast. is loud, aggressive and quite fact that it was associated with level six!” recent album, Crack the types, according to Wikipedia, cymbals need added emphasis. • Judas Priest: Lead singer possibly the least catchy genre murders and church burnings (in • Hair metal: Inspired by 1970s Skye, incorporates ukuleles, from the “circular swing” and • Power chord: Simple chord Rob Halford was the first name in the history of music. Norway) in the 1990s didn’t do glam bands, hair metal acts Stephen Hawking references and “drunk style” to “the whiplash” that is based on one interval mainstream heavy metal star to What not to say: “I’m a big fan of much for its image. What not to like Motley Crue and W.A.S.P a four-section symphony about and the “two-up-two-down.” Our (normally the root and the fifth). come out. He was not the first to Nwobbum, me.” say: “Lighten up, guys, it’s sunny focused on big melodies, czarist Russia. What not to say: advice? Just shake your head a It is easy to play hard, with lots of rock out, though. Classic album: • Thrash metal: Anthrax, outside.” drinking their own weight in “Can you not just play this one bit. You’re bound to land on one distortion, at a frankly ridiculous British Steel. Megadeth and Slayer took • Hardcore: Although sonically booze and looking like, to borrow in 4/4?” of them. breakneck speed. • Metallica: Went to war with NWOBHM’s template and made similar to thrash, hardcore is more a phrase from those days, a • Comedy metal: Because a • Shredding: Playing mind- • Devil horns: Raising the their own fans over file-sharing. it harder, faster and nastier. The political and based within the DIY bit of a wally. What not to say: lot of metal is obviously quite bogglingly difficult guitar solos index and little finger is the But still found time to rock result was the very opposite of punk community. Lots of cores “Final Countdown by Europe? ludicrous (grown men growling at a frankly ridiculous, breakneck international symbol that you are out. Classic album: Master of hair metal (see below). What have emerged in its wake, such Metal doesn’t get much heavier loudly about orcs, for instance), speed (without needing surgery to Ready to Rock. Puppets. not to say: “Do you lot not have as metalcore, deathcore, post- than that.” it has leaned itself to affectionate sew your fingers back together). something a bit more, you know, hardcore, grindcore, Nardcore, • Nu metal: Bands such as parody. Often — as in the case • Metalhead: Someone who • Slayer: Have a fascination with acoustic-y?” thrashcore, Christian hardcore. of the recent Anvil! movie • Blast beat technique: Used doesn’t need this guide. the Nazis — and rocking out. Limp Bizkit, Papa Roach and • Death metal: Based on thrash, What not to say: “Any fans of Linkin Park combined their metal — the lines between comedy by extreme metal bands like Classic album: Reign in Blood. applecore here?” and reality are pretty thin. See Napalm Death, whereby kick Bands to namecheck death makes good use of the blast with grunge, funk and what is beat and the death growl, along • Doom: You know how we known in musicologist circles also Spinal Tap, Jack Black and drum, snare and cymbals are • There are approximately Those tricky genres the Darkness. Oh, the Darkness played at a frankly ridiculous, with lyrics about gore, mutilation, said metal just got louder and as terrible, terrible rapping. 12,634,735 heavy metal bands. • Metal has more offshoots than torture and more gore. What not faster over the decades? Pretend What not to say: “Limp Bizkit’s weren’t joking? Oops. What not breakneck speed (you may sense And that’s just in Liechtenstein. to say: “Those Napalm Death a pattern emerging). Freudian theory and Star Trek to say: “I can’t really see that one you never read that. Doom is Fred Durst really summed up We haven’t got time to trawl put together. These are the big about a zombie massacre cracking an extremely slow, sludgy and the anxieties and fears of a lost guys are just so funny!” • Death growl: The ability to through all their histories, so here ones … the top 20.” dense kind of metal. It’s all about generation. He was so much • Other genres: Symphonic make your singing resemble a are some key facts about the five NWOBHM: Black metal: For those who atmospherics, you see. That and more than just a middle-aged metal, sludge metal, stoner most seminal heavy metal acts. • Stands for New • dozen water buffalo being tortured Wave of British Heavy Metal, think death metal is a bit too dislodging vital organs. There man in long shorts grunting.” metal, drone metal, ambient with blunt instruments. Not • Black Sabbath: Found live bats which became popular at the start heavy on the giggles. Extremely are many types of doom: epic • Prog metal: This adopts metal, viking metal, power something to play to grandma. Or tasty. Enjoyed rocking out. Classic of the 1980s when bands like Iron nihilistic and featuring an doom, funeral doom, drone doom, the bonkers time signatures, metal, groove metal, glam metal, pretty much anyone. album: Paranoid. Maiden, Saxon and Motorhead inexplicable number of bands stoner doom, and doom de doom technical prowess and geeky gothic metal, alternative metal, • Cymbal choke: The art of • Iron Maiden: Have a mascot beefed up their sound in response from Norway, black metal is (OK, I made that one up). What lyrical references that made aluminium, copper, zinc, tin, grabbing one’s cymbal straight called Eddie, who is also fond of to punk (which was making metal down with paganism, Satan and not to say: “Doom — is that the progressive rock so, well, alloy, and carbon fiber. PLANET usan Boyle’s triumph inbox has been flooded with Ali tried to sell his nine-year-old quoted as saying.