Smith ScholarWorks Theses, Dissertations, and Projects 2013 Holding, attaching and relating : a theoretical perspective on good enough therapy through analysis of Winnicott's good enough mother, using Bowlby's attachment theory and relational theory Lydia K. Borg Smith College Follow this and additional works at: https://scholarworks.smith.edu/theses Part of the Social and Behavioral Sciences Commons Recommended Citation Borg, Lydia K., "Holding, attaching and relating : a theoretical perspective on good enough therapy through analysis of Winnicott's good enough mother, using Bowlby's attachment theory and relational theory" (2013). Masters Thesis, Smith College, Northampton, MA. https://scholarworks.smith.edu/theses/588 This Masters Thesis has been accepted for inclusion in Theses, Dissertations, and Projects by an authorized administrator of Smith ScholarWorks. For more information, please contact [email protected]. Lydia Borg Holding, Attaching and Relating: A Theoretical Perspective on Good Enough Therapy through Analysis of Winnicott’s Good Enough Mother, using Bowlby’s Attachment Theory and Relational Theory ABSTRACT This is a theoretical study in which Winnicott’s ideas on the “good enough mother” are analyzed in search of implications for what makes a good enough therapist. Specifically these ideas are explored through the lenses of attachment theory and relational theory with a focus on the work of John Bowlby and Jessica Benjamin respectively. Particular attention is given to the roles of both therapists and mothers in “holding”, emotional regulation, protection, and building emotionally facilitative and protective relationships. This paper includes in depth looks at these theories and the ways in which the concepts within attachment theory and relational theory (specifically the ideas of attachment relationships, subjectivity and intersubjectivity) both echo and expand upon Winnicott’s work. This paper posits that the primary similarity found in all three theoretical standpoints is the significance of human connection and relationship in healthy emotional functioning. Additionally, the argument is made that the three theories are complementary to one another, and a more comprehensive understanding of individual development and psychology is gained from application of them in conjunction with one another, as opposed to applying the theories individually. The concepts discussed throughout the paper are explored via a case example in the final chapter. HOLDING, ATTACHING AND RELATING: A THEORETICAL PERSPECTIVE ON GOOD ENOUGH THERAPY THROUGH ANALYSIS OF WINNICOTT’S GOOD ENOUGH MOTHER, USING BOWLBY’S ATTACHMENT THEORY AND RELATIONAL THEORY A project based upon an independent investigation, submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Master of Social Work. Lydia Borg Smith College School for Social Work Northampton, Massachusetts 01063 2013 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Firstly, I would like to say thank you to my family for their continuing love and support (it is better than “good enough”). I would like to thank Vincent who brainstormed with me, listened to me, and comforted me endlessly. Thanks to my friends for their essential provision of validation, twinship, and encouragement, and to my professors and peers who provided input and inspiration throughout this process. Finally, I’d like to say thank you to my thesis advisor Diana Fuery, PhD., LCSW for making the completion of this thesis possible. ii TABLE OF CONTENTS ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ...................................................................................................... ii TABLE OF CONTENTS .......................................................................................................... iii CHAPTER I INTRODUCTION ............................................................................................................ 1 II METHODOLOGY AND CONCEPTUALIZATION ...................................................... 3 III WINNICOTT AND THE GOOD ENOUGH MOTHER ................................................. 7 IV ATTACHMENT THEORY AND THE GOOD ENOUGH THERAPIST ...................... 34 V RELATIONAL THEORY AND THE GOOD ENOUGH THERAPIST ........................ 60 VI DISCUSSION ................................................................................................................... 80 REFERENCES .........................................................................................................................105 iii CHAPTER I Introduction Throughout the history of the psychological study of humans and human behavior, the role of the mother has been central across many theories. Mothering has been defined as essential to fostering child development both physically and emotionally; thereby cementing the importance of mothering in nurturing psychological well-being in generations of healthy adults. As psychoanalytic and psychotherapeutic theories have developed there continues to be emphasis on the maternal role, and the maternal aspects of the therapeutic relationship. This paper examines the maternal role of the therapeutic relationship in the context of Winnicott’s ideas on the “good enough mother” which is later analyzed through the lenses of attachment theory and relational theory respectively. This writer uses attachment and relational theories to further illuminate the phenomenon of “therapist as mother”, to explore how this phenomenon does or does not function within those theories, and to explore what a “good enough” therapy is. The work of John Bowlby is the focus of discussions of attachment theory, and the work of Stephen Mitchell, lew Aron, and Jessica Benjamin inform discussion of relational theory. Attachment theory offers a perspective that centrally values relationship while taking a somewhat biological approach, whereas relational theory offers a more complex, “two-person” approach, which holds subjectivity and intersubjectivity as focal points for analysis. Examining the parallels between mothering and therapy within these theoretical frameworks is an attempt at further illuminating the workings of the therapeutic relationship. In 1 the current psychological literature, strength of the therapeutic alliance is often emphasized as significant in predicting outcomes of therapy. In a climate where therapeutic alliance and relationship are losing clout due to contemporary psychotherapeutic treatment becoming increasingly shorter in length and more cognitively and behaviorally based (with DSM diagnosis and symptomology often taking precedence in the treatment) a careful theoretical examination of the therapeutic relationship and the maternal functions it fulfills is an opportunity to revisit and discover more about the relationship that is almost universally accepted by the psychological community as one of great importance. In this paper the argument is made that Winnicottian, attachment, and relational theories hold in common the significance of relationship and connection in healthy emotional functioning. Additionally the theories discussed are found to be complementary to one another and more comprehensive when combined as opposed to being used separately for analysis. A case example in the final chapter serves to illustrate this point. The following chapters will undertake exploration of maternal function in the therapeutic relationship as described above. In the next chapter, the reader is introduced to the conceptualization and methodology of the project in greater depth. 2 CHAPTER II Methodology and Conceptualization As indicated in the introduction, the two theories used in this analysis will be attachment theory and relational theory. They will be examined in relation to Winnicott’s ideas on child development respectively. The reader will first be introduced to Winnicott’s theories on child development, specifically using concepts including the holding environment, emotional integration, and the role of the good enough mother. These concepts will then be discussed in terms of their relation and similarities to the dynamics and purpose of the therapeutic dyad, illuminating the comparisons between mothering and therapy. Detailed explanation of these ideas using Winnicott’s writings will constitute the bulk of the initial chapter. Wilfred Bion’s conceptualizations of the container/contained and metabolization of beta-elements into alpha elements will also supplement Winnicott’s ideas in the explanation of the maternal metaphor. Once an understanding of the phenomenon of therapist as mother has been determined, I apply this phenomenon to other psychological theories in hopes of finding out what good enough therapy, or a good enough therapist is. Moving forward the reader will then be given an introduction to attachment theory primarily using John Bowlby’s theories on attachment. Specifically the importance of security and stability of attachment, along with the role of attachment in emotional regulation will be discussed. These concepts will then be compared and contrasted to Winnicott’s thoughts on dependence, a good enough holding environment, and emotion integration. Finally the 3 exploration of attachment theory will address the questions: What purposes do mothers and therapists/therapy serve through the lens of attachment theory? And, what is a good enough therapist/mother through the eyes of attachment theory? The next chapter will be a comparable analysis of relational theory including an introduction to the theory, examination of its core theoretical concepts and questioning the role