Suffolk University Digital Collections @ Suffolk Suffolk Journal Suffolk University Student Newspapers 2014 Newspaper- Suffolk Journal vol. 74, no. #GDTWIF, 4/1/2014 (April Fool's issue) Suffolk Journal Follow this and additional works at: https://dc.suffolk.edu/journal Recommended Citation Suffolk Journal, "Newspaper- Suffolk Journal vol. 74, no. #GDTWIF, 4/1/2014 (April Fool's issue)" (2014). Suffolk Journal. 583. https://dc.suffolk.edu/journal/583 This Newspaper is brought to you for free and open access by the Suffolk University Student Newspapers at Digital Collections @ Suffolk. It has been accepted for inclusion in Suffolk Journal by an authorized administrator of Digital Collections @ Suffolk. For more information, please contact [email protected]. THE AWARD-WINNING STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF Check out the SUFFOLK UNIVERSITY • BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS latest news on Cafe Quattro V pg- 7 nJi i_r 1/ Lr ll^ THE SUFFOLK OURNAL VOLUME 74. #GDTWIF Mitt Romney and David Wyatt GHOSTto speak at commencement at Suffolk, even though, of Gleason Archer Sam Homefries you know, I graduated from Melsisa Harmon Harvard," Romney added with a slight tone of pompousness. spooking Suffolk Tag Team Champions “I feel like Suffolk’s graduates can learn a lot from a 15 minute mashup Suffolk University of anecdotes, motivational announced Monday the former tips, and keys to success I’ve Governor and Presidential learned over my long career,” candidate Mitt Romney will Romney said, noting he had deliver a joint commencement “something for everyone to speech to Suffolk’s Class of take away ” from his speech, 2014. including LGBT students, “We are very excited to host female students, international Governor Romney this spring. students, and those who We think his speech will be identified with the 99 percent. a wonderful final experience But mostly he wanted to for this year’s graduating speak to the hearts of those class, something they’ll always who aspired to be in the 1 remember," said University Photo by Flickr user DonkeyHoteypercent one day. spokesman Ari Gold. “I just really wish, looking In an interview with The Romney's official back, that my graduating class Suffolk Journal, Romney said campaign photo had a successful businessman he felt he had a lot of good who could speak to those advice to share with graduates. “I’m really excited about ."^^^“py'tot^'awng SeeMrrr/WYATrpage2 this speech," Romneysaid. “It's is upset Suffolk put Fenton on Melsisa Harmon the market," Knight recalled. Journal Mom “He told me ‘Fenton is the President McCarthy caught heart and soul of this campus and 20 Somerset will never be On a cold, foggy Thursday to me what Fenton was. ”' taking ciasses at Emerson Coiiege afternoon, a Suffolk University Other students have said student walked pensively down Gleason gave them the same Hanlc Moody Temple Street rushing to class. message. Senior Marucia said Writer Extraordinaire Fred Jones, a sophomore “Gleason told me he will haunt and spirit major with a minor 20 Somerset for 100 years if in phenomena put his studies Fenton gets sold." to good use, as he could feel Marucia said she has The Suffolk Journal there was a presence on the reason to believe Gleason is recently went undercover brick-laden street. already haunting some parts and discovered something “Whhhhaaaatttt is of campus. surprising: President James happpeninnggg to my “For years people have “Jimbo" McCarthy has actually Uniiwersittyyyy," Knight heard been spooked by ghosts in 10 been taking night online/ echoing down the street. Chills West," she said. “It’s definitely hybrid courses at Emerson went up and down his spine, Gleason." College. and suddenly, the Ghost of Gleason is also supposedly He has been taking these Gleason Archer was standing the reason students have been classes since fall 2013, and before him. getting stuck inside elevators. some people have attributed McCarthy caught dining at Emerson last week Since that day, Gleason Two students said they heard these classes as the reason why Archer has been spooking Gleason's voice while they McCarthy loves hybrid courses Hybrid courses utilize the “I think he wants not only around campus on a near­ were trapped. so much. traditional method of teaching to re-live his college years but constant basis, making it Despite rumors that last “I always thought it was while using technology and also to show the entire world known to students and faculty week’s evacuation of Donahue because he just wanted to allowing students to learn from that hybrid courses are the way that he is displeased with was due to a steam leak, a save money for the school,” their own homes. These kinds to go," said Harry Callahan, Suffolk. university official and Marucia said Professor Malory Archer, of classes save everyone’s time COO of an unidentified Jones has had many believe Gleason was just trying a close friend of McCarthy and and money, McCarthy has said. organization that lobbies the conversations with Gleason, to have a little bit of fun. the aunt of the late Gleason But the real surprise is use of online courses. and sat down with The Suffolk Students have described Archer. “It’s surprising but also why McCarthy has been taking However, McCarthy seems Journal to discuss what was Gleason as about eight feet tall very admirable that he wants these classes, especially since to be enjoying his new said. and “ghostly white and mostly to go back to school. Besides, he is already the president of a academic career, making “Gleason told me he has everyone at Suffolk wants to university. emerged on campus because he See GLEASON page 2 be at Emerson anyway. ” See MCCARTHY page 2 The Suffolk Iournal Operation Cut Down on Everything Suffolk gone wild: begins on campus Daria Morgendorffer dorms now tohouse pets Journal Cynic Hallie Pea-Body Pets Already Registered for Dorming This past school year, Suffolk Journal Zoologist implemented "Operation Paper Cut," which allows students to The Residence Halls of print outan allotted 500 pages Suffolk University consistentiy per semester, by using $25 stress to their residents the provided by the school on their importance of “creating a Suffolk RAM ID Card. Starting community” and are now fall of 2014, Suffolk University seeking to expand that will be introducing “Operation community to the animal rithHo Cut Down on Everything." It will encourage students to be kingdom. SaKmttrfUh The central office for all mindful, all the time. Residence Life and Housing. U 20 Operation Cut Down One student paying RLH, released a statement last on Everything will require for toilet paper in weekon the matter which said, This is good news for students amateur dog whisperers alike. students to use only 500 sheets Donahue Tuesday. "Here at Suffoik, we strive to because if their pets get a However, all students with of toilet paper per semester, accommodate all needs ofour higher iottery number than severe allergies will either be their rollover sheets can be said, “We’re encouraging residents. We have decided to them, they can then profit forced to seek out off-campus utilized at their discretion students to choose their expand this mission and invite from their pet’s good fortune! housing or simply withdraw during the spring of 2015. words wisely. Although the our residents’ furry friends In addition, students can from the University. Students occupyingsaying goes ’there’s no such to become a part of our on- appiy for Living Learning As for commuter students, Suffolk dorms will be thing as a stupid question,’ we campus community." Communities or LLCs with Suffolk will also be renovating allowed 800 kilowatt hours know that’s not true. This will Students who wish to their pets. To accommodate sections of 73 Tremont to make of light per semester. Once encourage students to think bring their pets with them more exotic creatures such as room for an all-day animal day they surpass this amount, before they speak.” on campus will be required sait water fish, pythons, and care for those commuters who they will be encouraged Students have been to fill out separate housinga rumored rhinoceros, the just can’t seem to part with to use wax pillar candles. both outraged and totally forms. For incoming freshman, Miller residence haii wili be their four legged companions.A spokesperson for Suffolk supportive of Operation Cut these forms wiii be included undergoing construction on A student commented on said, “We want to be pioneers Down on Everything. in their acceptance packets. several parts of the building the plans last week saying, of not using things." Sophomore Hiles Malpine For sophomores, the process throughout the summer. "Suffolk has always been a Librarian Agilda Kuqi said, said he supports not speaking becomes slightly more "Here at Suffolk, we school focused on diversity. By “In order to cut down on tuition up in class, but cutting difficult. accommodate it aii,” a inviting animals into the mix, costs, these are processes necessities like toilet paper On-campus lottery numbers university spokesanimai said. we’re really performing an a« that we need to adapt. We’d and lights is just out of the will now be generated to both ’This policy will benefit of social justice" appreciate the cooperation question. eligible students and pets. premature cat ladies and and understanding of our “I don’t really care about students during this period what my classmates have to of adjustment.” In actuality, say,” he said, “but I do care tuition is excluded from the about how much toilet paper Two Republicans will excite at From GLEASON page I operation. we all have. ’Thanks, Obama!” transparent." Suffolk University As you can see, the theme commencement When off the topic of professors have also agreed of Operation Cut Down on haunting campus, Gleason that students should cut down Everything is efficiency.