Emotion, seduction and intimacy: alternative perspectives on human behaviour RIDLEY-DUFF, R. J. Available from Sheffield Hallam University Research Archive (SHURA) at: http://shura.shu.ac.uk/2619/ This document is the author deposited version. You are advised to consult the publisher's version if you wish to cite from it. Published version RIDLEY-DUFF, R. J. (2010). Emotion, seduction and intimacy: alternative perspectives on human behaviour. Silent Revolution Series . Seattle, Libertary Editions. Repository use policy Copyright © and Moral Rights for the papers on this site are retained by the individual authors and/or other copyright owners. Users may download and/or print one copy of any article(s) in SHURA to facilitate their private study or for non- commercial research. You may not engage in further distribution of the material or use it for any profit-making activities or any commercial gain. Sheffield Hallam University Research Archive http://shura.shu.ac.uk Silent Revolution Series Emotion Seduction & Intimacy Alternative Perspectives on Human Behaviour Third Edition © Dr Rory Ridley-Duff, 2010 Edited by Dr Poonam Thapa Libertary Editions Seattle © Dr Rory Ridley‐Duff, 2010 Rory Ridley‐Duff has asserted his right to be identified as the author of this work in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Acts 1988. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution‐Noncommercial‐No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License. Attribution — You must attribute the work in the manner specified by the author or licensor (but not in any way that suggests that they endorse you or your use of the work). Noncommercial — You may not use this work for commercial purposes. No Derivative Works — You may not alter, transform, or build upon this work. Inquiries about additional permissions should be directed to: [email protected] Social Exchange logo designed by Natasha Ridley‐Duff First edition commissioned by Social Exchange Ltd. Social Exchange Logo by Natasha Ridley‐Duff. First edition published by Men’s Hour Books, 2007. Second edition published by Rory Ridley‐Duff on www.scribd.com, 2009. Third edition published by Libertary, 2010. ISBN 978‐1‐935961‐00‐0 DISCOUNTS OR CUSTOMIZED EDITIONS MAY BE AVAILABLE FOR EDUCATIONAL AND OTHER GROUPS BASED ON BULK PURCHASE. For further information please contact [email protected] Library of Congress Control Number: 2010939463 Contents Introduction.................................................................................. i Acknowledgements................................................................................i Setting Out the Terrain ....................................................................... iii The Structure of the Book ................................................................ xiii Chapter 1 – In the Beginning……. ............................................ 1 Overview ................................................................................................1 A Perspective on Sexism......................................................................4 Setting the Agenda for Equality........................................................10 To the Reader......................................................................................12 Chapter 2 – What are Emotions?............................................ 17 Overview ..............................................................................................17 Emotional Knowledge.........................................................................21 Stories of Emotional Intelligence......................................................26 Emotional Defence and Emotion Management ..............................30 Emotion, Blame and Social Status....................................................32 Emotion and Perception.....................................................................34 Emotion and Sense-Making...............................................................36 Emotional Sensitivity and Performance ...........................................38 Summary..............................................................................................39 Chapter 3 - Friendship and Flirting......................................... 43 Introduction .........................................................................................43 What is Seduction? .............................................................................47 Defining Seduction and Intimacy......................................................54 Seduction in Business.........................................................................59 Summarising the Seduction Process ................................................62 Redefining Intimacy............................................................................64 Corporate Seduction ...........................................................................66 Seduction in the Sales Process..........................................................79 What Happens if the Seduction Fails? .............................................82 Summary ..............................................................................................87 Chapter 4 - Control and Discipline..........................................94 Overview...............................................................................................94 Why Control and Discipline?..............................................................99 Stories of Discipline and Control.....................................................103 Feelings and Motives During Disciplining ......................................115 Learning from Conflict......................................................................119 Social Influence During Conflict......................................................122 A Second Case...................................................................................124 The Dynamics of Discipline and Control ........................................130 Alternative Approaches to Managing Conflict ...............................132 Summary ............................................................................................141 Chapter 5 – Leaders and Followers ......................................145 Introduction .......................................................................................145 The Five Components of Power......................................................154 Bottom Up and Top Down Leaders ................................................156 Hazing and Harassment ...................................................................163 A Second Case...................................................................................170 Reconsidering the Nature of Leadership .......................................177 Summary............................................................................................179 Chapter 6 – Sexual Conflict................................................... 183 Introduction .......................................................................................183 A Story of Sexual Conflict ................................................................184 Confronting the Double-Standard ..................................................204 The Current State of the Gender Equality Debate.......................216 Obstacles to Resolving Sexual Conflicts ........................................219 Are Men ‘Naturally’ Violent? ............................................................221 The “Problem” of Courtship.............................................................226 Summary............................................................................................230 Chapter 7 – Copies Strategies............................................... 236 An Introduction .................................................................................236 The Impacts of Intimacy at Work ..................................................238 Tackling the Intimacy “Problem”....................................................242 The Centrality of Sexuality ..............................................................250 The Case for Change........................................................................255 The Case for Mediation ....................................................................258 Reconstructing the Gender Debate................................................261 Leaders, Performers and Followers................................................265 Chapter 8 - Closing Thoughts…............................................ 272 Conclusions ........................................................................................272 Appendix A – Body Language................................................274 Introduction .......................................................................................274 Speech Code ......................................................................................277 Vocal Code ........................................................................................281 Body Language Code........................................................................284 Facial Code.........................................................................................289 Bibliography, References and Recommended Reading......292 For Those With a Casual or Professional Interest........................292 For Those With a Strong or Academic Interest ............................294 Introduction Acknowledgements All books are