Your Wedding Celebration Mary Immaculate Church 16 Browns Lane, Bellport NY 11713 Phone: 631-286-0154 Fax: (631) 286-2937 GUIDELINES FOR ENGAGED COUPLES 2 Mary Immaculate Church 3 Welcome Dear Friends, We share the joy of your decision to marry at Mary Immaculate Church. God’s love for you is alive in your love for each other, and is a beautiful sign of God’s blessing and care for us all. At wedding celebrations, you hear these words: “You have come together in this church so that the Lord may seal and strengthen your love in the presence of the Church’s minister and this community...” (Rite of Marriage, #23) The vows you make to one another are solemn ones. To enter this relationship freely and with due reflection, To live faithfully always as husband and wife, To be prepared to raise and to educate your children in the Catholic Christian Faith Your wedding liturgy is therefore never simply a private event, but a personal, parish and communal event. It deserves the same care- ful preparation given to the other details of your wedding day. Fur- ther, since your wedding liturgy is the public expression of your com- mitment to live God’s faithful love for the rest of your lives, we look forward to helping you to plan this solemn rite. We hope that the fol- lowing information will help you to prepare well for your wedding day and life together. Sincerely, Father William A. Hanson 631-525-3768 (cell) 4 Mary Immacu- Documentation A) A Pre-Marital Questionnaire is required for all persons who desire to marry. This establishes that both persons are free to marry, and must be filled out with a priest or deacon before the wedding date can be set. B) A newly-issued baptismal certificate is required for Catholics which can be obtained by contacting the church of baptism. Providing your baptismal date to that church will make it easy for them to provide you with a new certificate. Copies and originals of certificates you already possess will help you give details to obtain a new original certificate which will demonstrate that you are free to marry with no previous bonds of marriage. Non-Catholic Christians need to provide evidence of the date and place of their baptism by certificate or in a note from the pastor on the church’s stationery. C) Documentation for Catholics that you have received the sacraments of Confirmation and Eucharist is required. This information is ordinarily marked on the back of your new original baptism certificate. These documents can be obtained by calling the church at which you received those sacraments. If it was at a church other than the one in which you were baptized, inform that church’s secretary when these events occurred, and ask her to mail you copies of the certificates. The Church strongly recommends that, whenever possible, a Catholic should receive all three basic initiation sacraments (Baptism, Confirmation and the Eucharist) before celebrating the sacrament of Marriage. 5 Mary Immaculate Church Documentation If you have not received the sacraments of Eucharist and/or Confirmation, we have a process for adults called the RCIA (Rites for the Christian Initiation of Adults). Please speak with the priest or deacon who is working with you about completing your sacramental initiation into the Church. If for some reason you do not see a way to complete your sacraments prior to your wedding, please communicate this to the priest or deacon working with you. D) An affidavit of freedom to marry is required for persons who are not bap- tized who wish to marry a Catholic. You may obtain the signatures of two persons, parents, guardians, or long-standing friends who must testify that the person plan- ning to marry has never been married before, and is free to marry her or his intend- ed spouse. E) Banns of Marriage. When two Catholics plan to marry, publishing the banns of marriage involves the announcement of an anticipated wedding in the parish of each Catholic. When either Catholic person lives in a parish other than Mary Immaculate, that person must contact his or her own parish to arrange for the publications of the marriage banns. Ask that parish for a letter confirming this fact, and give this letter to the Parish secretary or receptionist at Mary Immaculate. Note: when a Catholic marries someone from another religious tradition or one who is unaffiliated with any religious tradition, banns of marriage are not published. 6 Mary Immaculate Church Documentation E) Dispensations, where needed Catholics who plan to marry non-Catholics need the permission of the local bishop in order to do so. To receive this permission for marriage to a non-Catholic person, the Catholic party must pledge to do all she or he can, while respecting the religious heritage of his or her partner, to ensure that their children will be baptized and raised as Catholics. No promise is required of the non-Catholic person. Non-Catholic Christians who believe in the full sacramental presence of Jesus in the Eucharist and who desire to receive the Eucharist on their wedding day should speak to the priest or deacon with whom you are making arrangements about per- mission to do so. F) Permission for persons who live outside the parish, where applicable. In general, one of the two parties requesting the sacrament of marriage should live in and be registered with Mary Immaculate Parish. Catholic persons who wish to be joined in marriage at Mary Immaculate but live out- side the parish and have no family or previous affiliation with our community must obtain letters of permission from the pastor of the church where they presently live. Simply contact the church closest to your home to obtain a release form. If you are not registered or affiliated with any parish, simply inform the priest or deacon who is working with you of this fact. We welcome Catholic couples who wish to marry in our church who are celebrating their reception at the Bellport Country Club. Being only a few minutes down the road, we are happy to accommodate them and their families. 7 Mary Immaculate Church Documentation G) Parental permission is required if one or both members of the couple is under the age of 21. If either person will not be 19 years of age at the time of the wedding, special Diocesan Procedures must be followed before a date may be set. These include an in-depth interview to evaluate the couple’s maturity. H) A Civil Marriage License is required for ALL weddings. You must have a civil license for ALL weddings at Mary Immaculate Church. You may obtain a marriage license at any Town Hall in New York State. The offices of the Town of Brookhaven are located at 1 Independence Hill in Farmingville. We rec- ommend that you obtain the license at least a month before your wedding date. The license is good for 60 days, and a blood test is not required at this time. You must both be present for a wedding license to be issued, and the current fee is $40. Bring some form of official identification with you, such as a birth certificate. NOTE: we need your marriage license by the wedding rehearsal. I) If your wedding is a convalidation (“the Church blessing of a previous civil marriage”), you DO need a NEW license. A convalidation can occur when you pre- viously obtained a wedding license and married this same spouse in a civil ceremo- ny, or in a non-Catholic ceremony without the Church’s permission, and there are no other obstacles. Contact Town Hall to obtain a NEW license for your convalidation. It will look like the one you filled out for a previous ceremony, but it will say “for religious purposes only” on the license. 8 Mary Immaculate Church PRE-MARITAL PREPARATION (PRE-CANA) The first “sign” which Jesus performed to reveal that the power of heaven was available through him in an utterly new way on earth was the miracle at the Wedding in Cana (St. John’s Gospel Chapter 2, verses 1-2). Marriage is for your lifetime, long beyond your wedding day. As a community of faith the Church affords you the opportunity to share your experience as a couple with others preparing for marriage, as well as couples who have lived this sacrament for some years. Those who intend to celebrate their wedding liturgy at Mary Immac- ulate may satisfy their pre-marital preparation (Pre- Cana) requirements in several ways: All marriage preparation programs address aspects of being married in the Catholic tradition: · The vocation of Christian marriage, · Communication, · Listening skills, · Conflict resolution, · Conscience formation, · Intimacy, and · Natural family planning are among the topics that are discussed. To select the process that best suits your needs, please review the schedule. Both partners must attend all sessions of the marriage preparation. You may register online for any diocesan marriage preparation programs at http://www.drvc-faith.org/2012/05/marriage-preparation- and-foccus-registration/ 9 Mary Immaculate Church FOCCUS: Facilitating Open Couple Communication Understanding and Study FOCCUS is a self-assessment tool designed to assist couples in learning more about themselves and each other. In addition to the Marriage Preparation Pro- grams, all engaged couples are required to complete the FOCCUS questionnaire at least six months prior to attending a Marriage Preparation Program on the dioc- esan level. · Diocesan Marriage Preparation Program: Cou- ples are required to register to take the question- naire online: Your password will be e-mailed to you upon completion of your registration.