Hoobastank Bumper The radio is playing “The Reason” by Hoobastank in-between the sketches. The radio fades. Three students are walking across the stage on their way to class. Carlos: Hey, are either of you going to Clara’s party on Saturday? Emelio: Oh my God! Emelio and Sasha stop in their tracks. Sasha: We’re more likely to go to a Hoobastank concert than go to Clara “Two leg” Benson’s party! They start to walk again. Carlos: So… probably? They stop dead. Emelio: No, it’s a no. The only thing going for hoobastank is that their name is hoobastank. Sasha: You know how apple music has an “Essentials” playlist for its artists? Hoobastank’s would be 20 repeats of The Reason immediately followed by the sound of a shotgun. Emelio: Yeah, they Hoobastink. Carlos: I mean they have more songs than just The Reason. Sasha: Carlos, are you…defending Hoobastank? Carlos: All I’m saying is that they have other songs that aren’t that bad that no one seems – Emelio: Shut up, shut up! Let me get this straight. You are sticking your dignity on the line… for Hoobastank? Hoobastank!?! Carlos: Your name is Emelio Estevez and we never make fun of you for – Sasha: SHUT YOUR STUPID FACE YOU HOOBASKANK!!! Sasha begins to burst into tears. Emelio consoles her. Emelio: CARLOS!!!! WHY!?! HOOBASTANK? HOOBA – MOTHERFUCKING – STANK?!?!?! Carlos: I didn’t know people would be so offended. Emelio: Carlos! You know Sasha’s dad was killed during a Hoobastank concert, right? Sasha: AHHHHHHHH!!! Carlos: No, no! I had no idea! Emelio: Shut your Hoobastinky mouth! It’s Hoobarank with asshole! Carlos: So, he died at the concert? Sasha: No, you Hoobabitch! Carlos: That doesn’t even rhyme. Emilio: He was murdered by every member of Maroon 5! Here Sasha, let’s get out of here. Sasha: I was not expecting to be so disrespected! And before Civics no less! They begin to exit. Carlos: Then why don’t you hate Maroon 5? Sasha: Because Maroon 5 fucking slaps! BLACKOUT. Radio Voice: That was The Reason by California based rock band Hoobastank, stay with us as we continue our all-day Hoobastank marathon on Kiss 92.5 FM. .