JULY/AUGUST 2013 Minnesota FUNERAL DIRECTORS ASSOCIATION BULLETIN PUBLISHED MONTHLY FOR THE MINNESOTA FUNERAL DIRECTORS ASSOCIATION MEMBERS. Minnesota Funeral Directors Association Encourages Families to Have the Talk of a Lifetime Minneapolis, MN – People talk about many things with their loved ones: from day-to-day details to big events. Sharing stories with those who matter most isn’t just important today; it will be especially significant when it’s time to commemorate a life. Minnesota Funeral Directors Association (MFDA) is proud to announce its participation in Have the Talk of a LifetimeSM, a national effort to encourage families to have conversations about life and what matters most. These discussions can help families make important decisions about how they wish to remember and honor the lives of their loved ones. Through meaningful memorialization – that is, taking time to reflect on the unique life of a loved one and remember the difference they made – families and friends take an important step in the journey toward healing after death. Continued on page 6 SRSASSOCIAAVE THE DATE! TI ON DIRECTO MIN NESO NERAL Sept. 19-20, 2013 FU TA Change Service Requested Service Change TA NESO InsuranceMIN Class O. 23 O. N IT M PER Maple Grove, MN 55311 55311 MN Grove, Maple N PRIOR LAKE, M LAKE, PRIOR Embassy Suites, Brooklyn Center, MN Road Lake Fish East 7046 PAID POSTAGE . S U. Minnesota Funeral Directors Association Directors Funeral Minnesota RSASSOCIA TANDARD TANDARD S MFDA Bulletin MFDA PRESORTED PRESORTED TI ON DIRECTO MIN NESO NERAL FU TA Minnesota Funeral Director’s Association In This Issue Have the Talk of a Lifetime .............Cover, 6 Board of DirECTors, STaff and OTHER ConTacTS From the Director ...................................... 4 President Secretary From the President .................................... 5 Michael Dahl Shawn Kirby Anderson Funeral Home and Kolden Funeral Service Legislative Notes ........................................ 8 Cremation Service, Montevideo, MN LeSueur, MN The Need to Pay Homage ........................... 9 [email protected] [email protected] U of M Mortuary Science Program ......... 10 Treasurer Past President Innovation Update .................................... 12 Michael Cudmore Roger Bengtson Graded Benefit Preneed Benefits ............ 14 Cease Funeral Home Harvey Anderson Funeral Home Classifieds ................................................. 16 Bagley, MN Willmar, MN In Memoriam ............................................ 17 [email protected] [email protected] MFDA Corporate Members ..................... 19 DisTricT DirECTors Calendar Ashley Hoff (District 1) Michael Cudmore (District 10) Hoff Funeral and Cremations Service Cease Funeral Home August 21, 2013 St. Charles, MN Bagley, MN MFDA Summer Board Meeting Crowne [email protected] [email protected] Plaza, Plymouth, MN Shawn Kirby (District 2) Chris Jacobson (District 11) Sept. 19-20, 2013 Koledn Funeral Service Atkins Northland Funeral Home Insurance Class Le Sueur, MN Cloquet, MN Embassy Suites, Brooklyn Center, MN [email protected] NFDA POLICY DIRECTOR Oct. 20-23, 2013 Jeff Hartquist (District 3) Leif Larson NFDA Convention Hartquist Funeral Home Green-Larsen Mortuary Austin, TX Luverne, MN International Falls, MN [email protected] November 8-10, 2013 [email protected] Michael Dahl (District 4) Hearts of Hope Camp, Teen Retreat and Anderson Funeral Home and NFDA EXECUTIVE BOARD Family Grief Connection Program Cremation Service, Montevideo, MN Pat Patton Luther Park in Danbury, WI [email protected] Patton-Schad Funeral & Cremation Raymond Bartlett (District 5) Services, Sauk Centre, MN Johnson-Haglund Funeral Home [email protected] Who We Are: Minnesota Funeral Director’s Litchfield, MN Association (MFDA) is the statewide resource [email protected] PAST PRESIDENT REP dedicated to supporting our member’s growth professionally, ethically, and operationally. Open (District 6) Norman Larsen Green-Larsen Mortuary Open (District 7) What Is Our Mission: Our mission is to International Falls, MN enhance and support funeral service excellence Doug R Dingmann, CFSP (District 8) [email protected] through our programs, legislative representation Williams Dingmann Family Funeral and service to Minnesotans. Homes, St. Cloud, MN EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR [email protected] Darlyne Erickson, CAE We Accomplish This By Promoting: Steve Sheets, CFSP (District 9) 763-416-0124 • Essential and enduring principles that guide our Schoeneberger Funeral Home 952-451-8950 (cell) organization’s behaviors and actions Perham MN [email protected] • The value of funeral service consistent with [email protected] the changing needs of society TAFU • Advocacy on behalf of consumers and NERAL NESO members MIN DIRECTO • Visionary leadership – trust and confidence ON 7046 East Fish Lake Road TI in staff and volunteer leadership Maple Grove, MN 55311 • Integrity; honest and ethical behavior within the ASSOCIA RS p: (763) 416-0124 funeral industry f: (763) 545-9499 • Collaboration with others in the interest of con- e: [email protected] sumers and members MINNESOTA www.mnfuneral.org • The importance of education as a vehicle to TAFU enhance both public service and public image NERAL NESO MIN DIRECTO The MFDA Bulletin is published monthly for MDFA members. Copyright ©2013 MFDA Service Corporation. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be ON TI reproduced by any means without prior written permission of the publisher. Advertising opportunities are available by contacting MFDA to request an ad rate sheet. Classified ads are also available at $50 for up to 75 words. Please e-mail the ad to [email protected], fax or mail to the fax number or address listed above, along ASSOCIA RS with the desired run time of your ad. www.mnfuneral.org 3 Executive Director’s Report As I thought about a topic for this month gives them an opportunity to laugh Frame photos of you and your family or laughter came to mind. Amy and I were again and feed off the humor you find friends having fun. laughing a lot this morning at some antics in it. When you hear laughter, seek it • Keep things in perspective. Many that we both saw last night at the Maple out and ask, “What’s funny?” things in life are beyond your Grove parade. Sue and I laughed until we • Spend time with fun, playful control—particularly the behavior of cried yesterday, and I am NOT going to people. These are people who laugh other people. While you might think share what that was all about. But no matter easily–both at themselves and at life’s taking the weight of the world on when, where or with whom you laugh, it is absurdities–and who routinely find your shoulders is admirable, in the all good for the mind, body & soul. We all the humor in everyday events. Their long run it’s unrealistic, unproductive, do way too much serious stuff in life and playful point of view and laughter are unhealthy, and even egotistical. deserve a break now and again. Smile! contagious. • Deal with your stress. Stress is a Bringing more humor and laughter • Bring humor into conversations. Ask major impediment to humor and into your life. people, “What’s the funniest thing that laughter. Laughter is your birthright, a natural part of happened to you today? This week? In life that is innate and inborn. Infants begin • Pay attention to children and your life?” smiling during the first weeks of life and emulate them. They are the experts laugh out loud within months of being born. Developing your sense of humor: on playing, taking life lightly, and Even if you did not grow up in a household Take yourself less seriously laughing. One essential characteristic that helps us where laughter was a common sound, you So that’s all the wisdom I can share with laugh is not taking ourselves too seriously. can learn to laugh at any stage of life. you at the moment. I’ll leave you with a fun We’ve all known the classic tight-jawed Begin by setting aside special times to photo of some friends of mine, they really sourpuss who takes everything with seek out humor and laughter, as you might know how to make fools of themselves! deathly seriousness and never laughs at with working out, and build from there. anything. No fun there! Eventually, you’ll want to incorporate humor and laughter into the fabric of your life, Some events are clearly sad and not finding it naturally in everything you do. occasions for laughter. But most events in life don’t carry an overwhelming sense Here are some ways to start: of either sadness or delight. They fall into Darlyne Erickson • Smile. Smiling is the beginning of the gray zone of ordinary life–giving you MFDA Executive Director laughter. Like laughter, it’s contagious. the choice to laugh or not. Pioneers in “laugh therapy,” find Ways to help yourself see the it’s possible to laugh without even lighter side of life: experiencing a funny event. The same • Laugh at yourself. Share your holds for smiling. When you look at embarrassing moments. The best way someone or see something even mildly to take yourself less seriously is to talk pleasing, practice smiling. about times when you took yourself • Count your blessings. Literally make a too seriously. list. The simple act of considering the • Attempt to laugh at situations rather good things in your life will distance you than bemoan them. Look for the from negative thoughts that are a barrier humor in a bad situation, and uncover to humor and laughter. When you’re in the irony and absurdity of life. This a state of sadness, you have further to will help improve your mood and the travel to get to humor and laughter. mood of those around you. • When you hear laughter, move • Surround yourself with reminders to toward it. Sometimes humor and lighten up. Keep a toy on your desk Authors: Melinda Smith, M.A., and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D. Last laughter are private, a shared joke updated: May 2013.