Preface Chuck’s Journey: A Caregiver’s Love Story While Chuck and I were officially married in 2013, we considered ourselves married from the start of our relationship which began in April 1993. This book is a compilation of frequent entries in an on-line journal I started when my husband Chuck developed weird symptoms in June 2020 that turned out to be caused by pancreatic cancer. The journal describes the surprise, heartache, and efforts to deal with the diagnosis, treatment, and care during Chuck’s last six months of life, until his death in January 2021. The journal entries are from my first-person perspective. The anxiety, anger, fear, but most of all – the love – is undeniable. As my sister said, “your journal shows a love story like no other.” True… Chuck and I lived a life of love, commitment, and respect for almost 28 years. I had always considered myself a “Caregiver,” as I looked after elderly family members during the winters of their lives. But nothing prepared me for the new level of caregiving demanded of me by the circumstances throughout my husband Chuck’s cancer journey. While caring for someone with pancreatic cancer is hard, trying to provide care during the Covid- 19 pandemic, with the “stay-at-home” orders, “no visitor” policies preventing a “Covid-19 negative” Caregiver from being with a confused and bewildered patient in a hospital or treatment facility, politicization of common-sense health precautions, and concern about exposure especially when chemotherapy drives down blood counts and compromises natural immunity, was extraordinarily difficult. I wrote this book to memorialize the care, commitment, and love that Chuck and I had for one another. It provides a glimpse into our long and loving relationship, and gives insights into Chuck, who many people did not know. This book also describes how, in every way, every day, we lived our marriage vows, especially, “to love, honor, and cherish in sickness and in health, until death do we part.” - Rocky Lopes, January, 2021 - As edited by Laura Landi, July, 2021 ©2021, Rocky Lopes, Silver Spring, Maryland. All rights reserved. Preface - i - Contents Preface......................................................................................................................................................................................... i Chuck’s Journey: A Caregiver’s Love Story .............................................................................................................................. i Contents ..................................................................................................................................................................................... ii Chapter 1 Exploring The Unknown ............................................................................................................................................. 1 Chuck’s Initial Illness (Tuesday, June 30, 2020) ...................................................................................................................... 1 Covid Catch-22 (Wednesday, July 1, 2020) ............................................................................................................................ 1 Covid-19 Testing--Quick and Efficient (Friday, July 3, 2020) .................................................................................................. 2 Waiting Worried (Saturday, July 4, 2020) .............................................................................................................................. 3 Holy Crap! (Sunday, July 5, 2020) ........................................................................................................................................... 3 False Positive, Confirmed (Wednesday, July 8, 2020) ............................................................................................................ 3 A Fortuitous Benefit of Same-Sex Marriage (Monday, July 13, 2020) ................................................................................... 4 Procedure Day (Tuesday, July 14, 2020) ................................................................................................................................ 4 Waiting Was Hard (Wednesday, July 15, 2020) ..................................................................................................................... 5 Why I Am Not Calling, But Advocating (Friday, July 17, 2020) ............................................................................................... 6 No News, More Waiting (Saturday, July 18, 2020) ................................................................................................................ 7 Strength from Faith and Optimism (Sunday, July 19, 2020) .................................................................................................. 9 Chapter 2 Diagnosis and Surgical Plan ..................................................................................................................................... 12 With Urgency (Thursday, July 23, 2020)............................................................................................................................... 12 One Month WE Will (Saturday, July 25, 2020) ..................................................................................................................... 13 Plans Change (Monday, July 27, 2020) ................................................................................................................................. 14 Stress (Wednesday, July 29, 2020) ....................................................................................................................................... 15 More of the Unknown (Friday, July 31, 2020) ...................................................................................................................... 15 Throwing Things Away (Saturday, August 1, 2020) .............................................................................................................. 16 Surgery Plan (Monday, August 3, 2020) ............................................................................................................................... 17 Reorganizing, Sigh (Thursday, August 6, 2020) .................................................................................................................... 18 Rough Nights (Friday, August 7, 2020) ................................................................................................................................. 18 We Danced (Saturday, August 8, 2020) ............................................................................................................................... 19 Key Word: Flexibility (Sunday, August 9, 2020) ................................................................................................................... 20 Busy Week (Monday, August 10, 2020) ............................................................................................................................... 21 Update (Thursday, August 13, 2020) .................................................................................................................................... 21 Life Planning (Saturday, August 15, 2020) ........................................................................................................................... 23 Unable To… (Sunday, August 16, 2020) ............................................................................................................................... 24 Crisis Averted (Monday, August 17, 2020) ........................................................................................................................... 25 Flying With Eagles (Wednesday, August 19, 2020) .............................................................................................................. 26 Legalities (Thursday, August 20, 2020) ................................................................................................................................ 28 The "Thing" (Friday, August 21, 2020) ................................................................................................................................. 28 Contents - ii - Intense Time (Sunday, August 23, 2020) .............................................................................................................................. 29 Chapter 3 Surgery and Recovery .............................................................................................................................................. 30 Parting Courage (Monday, August 24, 2020) ....................................................................................................................... 30 From the ICU (Tuesday morning, August 25, 2020) ............................................................................................................. 31 Transition (Tuesday afternoon, August 25, 2020) ................................................................................................................ 33 Day 3 (Wednesday, August 26, 2020) .................................................................................................................................. 33 Day 4, uggghhh (Thursday, August 27, 2020) ....................................................................................................................... 35 Friday Morning (Friday, August 28, 2020) ............................................................................................................................ 35 Better Day