THE ROLE OF DEVELOPMENTAL/RELATIONAL TRAUMA IN THERAPISTS’ MOTIVATION TO PURSUE A PSYCHOTHERAPEUTIC CAREER: A GROUNDED THEORY EXPLORATION ~ JOANNA MELANIE MARIAN DAVIES ~ WORD COUNT: 34,063 A Thesis submitted in partial fulfilment of the requirements of the University of the West of England, Bristol: Professional Doctorate in Counselling Psychology “It doesn’t matter what they say… deep, deep inside they are doing it because they are The Wounded Healer” (Elisha) Department of Psychology, Faculty of Health & Life Sciences University of the West of England, Bristol Submitted: February 2018 Contents Acknowledgements.......................................................................................5 Abstract.........................................................................................................6 1. Introduction...............................................................................................8 2. Literature Review.....................................................................................15 2.1 Theoretical Framework: An Integration of Relational Psychoanalysis & Post-Traumatic Growth..........................................15 2.1.1 Relational Psychoanalysis........................................................16 2.1.2 Post-Traumatic Growth............................................................18 2.1.3 The Convergence of Relational Psychoanalysis & Post-Traumatic Growth...........................................................20 2.2 Defining Developmental/Relational Trauma & its Impact..................22 2.3 Current Theories on Developmental/Relational Trauma & Career Motivation...........................................................................................27 2.4 The ‘Wounded Wounder’ – Avoiding the Self...................................32 2.5 The ‘Healing Healer’ – Seeking the Self............................................36 2.6 Reciprocal Growth..............................................................................38 2.7 Career Motivation as a Post-Traumatic Growth Process....................39 2.8 Limitations of Existing Research & Rationale. ..................................40 2.9 Aims & Objectives..............................................................................41 3. Methodology............................................................................................42 3.1 Design.................................................................................................42 3.2 Epistemology & Ontology..................................................................43 3.3 Rationale for Grounded Theory..........................................................44 3.4 Consideration of Alternative Qualitative Methodologies...................45 3.5 Evolution of Grounded Theory...........................................................45 3.6 Rationale for Constructionist Grounded Theory….............................47 3.7 Reflexivity...........................................................................................47 3.7.1 My Reflexive Journey.............................................................48 1 4. Method......................................................................................................53 4.1 Sampling..............................................................................................53 4.2 Participants..........................................................................................54 4.3 Procedure.............................................................................................56 4.3.1 Ethical Considerations.............................................................56 4.3.2 Conducting an Initial Literature Review..................................56 4.3.3 Recruitment..............................................................................57 4.3.4 The Interview Schedule............................................................58 4.3.5 Data Collection – The Research Interview...............................59 4.3.6 Data Transcription....................................................................61 4.4 Data Analysis.......................................................................................62 5. Findings.....................................................................................................65 5.1 Sustaining a Wound to the Sense of Self..............................................69 5.1.1 Being Invalidated......................................................................69 5.1.2 Internalising a Self-Critical Voice.............................................72 5.1.3 Developing a Defective Sense of Self.......................................73 5.2 Defending the Fragile Self.....................................................................73 5.2.1 Disconnecting from Self & Others............................................74 5.2.2 Constructing a False Self...........................................................76 5.2.3 Constructing an Enfeebled Other...............................................79 5.2.4 Searching for Answers...............................................................80 5.3 Gratifying Unmet Needs........................................................................82 5.3.1 Assuming a Fixer Role...............................................................82 5.3.2 Satisfying Narcissistic Needs.....................................................85 5.3.3 Enlivening the Self.....................................................................87 5.4 The Critical Juncture – Confronting the Self.........................................87 5.5 Moving From ‘Other-ish’ to ‘Self-ish’...................................................91 5.5.1 Legitimising Self-Focused Needs...............................................91 5.5.2 Realising Reciprocity..................................................................92 5.6 ‘Finding Me’ – Integrating the Self.........................................................94 2 5.6.1 Reclaiming the Disowned Self.....................................................94 5.6.2 Developing Narrative Coherence.................................................96 5.6.3 Building a Positive Sense of Self.................................................98 5.7 Liberating the Self..................................................................................100 5.7.1 Expressing the True Self.............................................................100 5.7.2 Diminishing Defences.................................................................101 6. Discussion....................................................................................................104 6.1 Theoretical Discussion............................................................................104 6.2 Implications of the Research...................................................................118 6.2.1 Professional Implications............................................................118 6.2.2 Implications for Counselling Psychology...................................120 6.2.3 Recommendations for Practice...................................................121 6.3 Ensuring Quality & Rigour....................................................................122 6.4 Critique of Methodology........................................................................124 6.5 Research Limitations..............................................................................125 6.6 Recommendations for Further Research................................................130 6.7 Conclusion..............................................................................................132 References.......................................................................................................134 Appendices......................................................................................................175 Appendix A – Ethical Approval...................................................................176 Appendix B – Recruitment Advertisement..................................................178 Appendix C – Participant Information Sheet...............................................180 Appendix D – Consent Form.......................................................................182 Appendix E – Demographic Information Sheet...........................................183 Appendix F – Debriefing Sheet....................................................................184 Appendix G – Interview Schedule...............................................................185 Appendix H – Coding of Transcripts...........................................................186 Appendix I – Reflective Journal Extracts...................................................224 Appendix J – Grouping Codes in Sub-Categories & Categories with Memos...................................................................................226 3 Appendix K – Diagramming - Evidencing Theory Construction...............235 Appendix L – Rationale for Journal Submission........................................240 4 Acknowledgements I would firstly like to acknowledge my participants for their exposing reflections that made this research possible; their voices are the grounding of my theory. I sincerely thank my director of studies, Andrea Halewood. I valued her significant knowledge of developmental/relational trauma and ‘knowing’ me before I knew myself and offering me developmentally ‘needed’ support as a ‘substitute nurturer’ which allowed me to complete my thesis. Also, my