ST. STEPHEN'S COLLEGE RELEASE FORM NAME OF AUTHOR: Rhonda Anne Miller TITLE OF THESIS: FOLLOWING SEDNA: AN ARTS-BASED SELF-STUDY OF SPIRITUAL TRANSFORMATION DEGREE: MASTER OF PSYCHOTHERAPY AND SPIRITUALITY YEAR THIS DEGREE GRANTED: 2013 Permission is hereby granted to St. Stephen's College to reproduce single copies of this thesis and to lend or sell such copies for private, scholarly or scientific research purposes only. The author reserves all other publication and other rights in association with the copyright in the thesis, and except as herein before provided, neither the thesis nor any substantial portion thereof may be printed or otherwise reproduced in any material form whatsoever without the author's prior written permission. Signature ST. STEPHEN’S COLLEGE FOLLOWING SEDNA: AN ARTS-BASED SELF-STUDY OF SPIRITUAL TRANSFORMATION by Rhonda Anne Miller A thesis submitted to the Faculty of St. Stephen’s College in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of MASTER OF PSYCHOTHERAPY AND SPIRITUALITY Edmonton, Alberta Convocation: November 4, 2013 . Certification Page Our subject is inherently a mystery. It cannot be fully expressed in words, because it concerns the deep preverbal levels of spirit. No kind of linear organization can do justice to this subject; by its nature it does not lie flat on the page. (Nachmanovitch, 1990, p. 12) There is a co-equal relationship between the researcher and the material under study that can be described as a joint endeavor between one’s own soul and the soul of the world. Jung’s enterprise was about enlarging his understanding of the transcendent and the immanent, the material and the divine as a means of changing both himself and the world: “If you change, the countenance of the world changes” (Jung, 2009: 273, as cited in Allen, 2012). Dedication I dedicate this story to my husband and life companion, Mark. You have been a faithful sojourner along the way. I could not have done this without your love and support. Abstract This research is about opening to the possibilities of the creative process. Experiencing the healing and revealing powers of artmaking as a student of art therapy, I wondered if I could find the same kind of solace in the art if I brought my struggles concerning faith. After losing faith in Evangelical Fundamentalism I experienced an ever present spiritual vacuum. I asked the question; “Can I recover a sense of spirituality by intuitively following a numinous image through artmaking, with the intention to tell the story of my journey with Fundamentalism?” I turned to the open studio process which consists of setting an intention, making art and engaging with the images through witness writing. The findings show that artmaking and the creative process are effective methods for tending to our deepest soul questions and needs. They also demonstrate the importance of integrating various art modalities for transformation. Key words: spiritual transformation, fundamentalism, deconversion, arts based inquiry, the creative process, Sedna myth. Acknowledgements This work would have not been possible without the love and support of the beautiful souls who have inspired and encouraged me to treasure my story and give it away: my thesis supervisor, professors and friends. I am honoured to call you my community. And Sedna, thank you for your siren’s call. You have taught me so much. Table of Contents Chapter 1: Introduction .......................................................................................................1 Rationale and Focus of the Inquiry ..................................................................................1 Background of the Study .................................................................................................2 My Interest in the Study and Spiritual Narrative .............................................................7 Organization of the Thesis .............................................................................................15 Chapter 2: Literature Review of Spiritual Transformation ...............................................16 Evangelical Fundamentalism .........................................................................................16 Definitions..................................................................................................................16 Spiritual Transformation as Conversion. ...................................................................20 Spiritual Transformation as Deconversion. ...............................................................21 The Creative Process in Art Therapy .............................................................................24 Definitions..................................................................................................................24 The Creative Process..................................................................................................25 Jungian Psychology .......................................................................................................28 Definitions..................................................................................................................28 Spiritual Transformation as Individuation. ................................................................29 Chapter 3: Methodology ...................................................................................................33 Artmaking as Research ..................................................................................................33 Art-Based Research and Self-Study...............................................................................33 Validity ..........................................................................................................................36 Outline of Methodology .................................................................................................39 Ethical Considerations ...................................................................................................43 Caring for the images. ................................................................................................43 Caring for others. .......................................................................................................44 Chapter 4: Intention, Artmaking and Witness ..................................................................49 Phase 1: Artmaking and the Myth of Sedna .................................................................49 Part I. ..........................................................................................................................49 Part 2. .........................................................................................................................55 Part 3. .........................................................................................................................62 Part 4. .........................................................................................................................69 Phase 2: Responding to the Myth with Art-i-facts........................................................81 Part 1: 0-12 years. .....................................................................................................81 Part 1: 0-18 years. .....................................................................................................89 Part 1: 0-20 years. .....................................................................................................95 Part 1: Response to ‘Sedna Marries’. ........................................................................98 Part 2 ........................................................................................................................109 Part 3. .......................................................................................................................113 Phase 3: SEDNA - Music. Dance. Paint. Legend. ......................................................116 Chapter 5: Discussion .....................................................................................................119 Lost and Found ............................................................................................................121 Forgiveness ..................................................................................................................122 Authority Within ..........................................................................................................124 Confidence. ..................................................................................................................124 Voice. .......................................................................................................................128 Christ and Sedna ..........................................................................................................128 Summary ......................................................................................................................134 Further Topics of Inquiry .............................................................................................136 Areas of Potential Application .....................................................................................137 Another Letting Go ......................................................................................................138 References ........................................................................................................................139 Appendix: DVD of the Performance: SEDNA -