The Team Name ARING TIMES C Issue: Spring/Summer 2015 ‘Before I die…’ may sound morbid but it really isn’t. Our hope is that this initiative will help people to accept their own mortality and spur them on to live the life they truly desire. We hope that the wall will provide a safe haven where talking about death is OK. ‘Before I die…’ is a global movement and one which has seen hundreds of walls erected. The aim of the wall is to encourage our local Over half a million people die in England community to reflect on their lives and share each year, yet talking about death, dying and their personal aspirations. The initiative is bereavement is something that many people really focused on the living, the here and now find challenging. and making the most of every single second we have. As a hospice, we recognise the importance of encouraging those conversations with a view As we prepare to ask you what you want that being open and honest will mean that to do before you die I thought it was only we are better equipped to support each other fair that I asked myself that question. It was when death has an impact on our lives. actually far harder than I had anticipated and I spent two days really thinking about how I Dying Matters Awareness Week, which runs would finish that sentence. 18th to 24th May, is a national campaign seeking to help people talk more openly In the end I decided that before I die I would about death and dying. This year we will be like to plant my garden so that it continues supporting this campaign by hosting a ‘Before to blossom when I am no longer here to I die…’ wall within our local community. nurture it. Ways to get in touch How would you finish the sentence? StBarnabasLinc Before I die… @StBarnabasLinc Sarah-Jane Mills [email protected] Chief Executive Marketing, 12 Cardinal Close, Lincoln LN2 4SY Further information, including where the board will be 01522 559504 located, will be released as it becomes available. 2 This project was started by Candy Chang in February 2011 on an abandoned house in New Orleans after she lost someone she loved Before I die... “ I want to swim along the Great“ Barrier Reef Paul Banton, Managing Director of Ruddocks Over 550 Before I Die walls have been created in 73 countries and 36 languages by passionate Cordoba, Argentina. Photo by Jenny Carden people around the world. Our Head of ICT, Darren Holmes, raised an impressive £710 Before I die... “ I want to make sure when he gave up “ alcohol in January. my family is well provided for He described the Bob Neilans, Chairman of month as his “greatest challenge ever” the Board of Trustees at and we’d have to agree that he’s earned St Barnabas Lincolnshire himself a pint or two! Hospice Savannah, Georgia, USA. Photo by Trevor Coe www.stbarnabashospice.co.uk 3 Fear of the unknown In December 2011, Irene Larder, 69 died from pancreatic cancer at our hospice on Nettleham Road in Lincoln. Since then her daughters have worked tirelessly to raise money for the hospice and Pancreatic Cancer UK in their mother’s memory. Diane Bell, 44, and her sister The black tie event included “If I’m completely honest, in Sharon Yell, 41, spent a year raffles, music, a three course the beginning I didn’t want planning a charity ball which meal and also an auction Mum to come to St Barnabas was held at Kenwick Park with donated prizes such as Lincolnshire Hospice because Hotel in October 2014. Over an afternoon at a Premier I was frightened of what lay 160 people turned out for the League football ground, motor behind those doors. black tie event in tribute to racing hospitality and pamper “I soon realised there was no Irene’s brave battle. sessions. reason to be frightened and Diane and Sharon share with Diane’s employers, TSB, the staff there instantly put us us their initial fears of the are further boosting the total all at ease. We soon came to hospice and why they choose amount raised through their feel very safe at the hospice to support us. Match Giving initiative. and very cared for. Diane said: “We were keen Sharon said: “This is the “The nurses there were to organise the ball because first time we have ever simply wonderful and we we wanted to give something planned an event and we started to think of them as our back for all the wonderful care were lucky to have the help friends. They understood the we had received as a family. of our family and friends complex emotions we were “Mum spent three weeks in who gave up their time to experiencing and encouraged the hospice and the care she support us. They understood us to talk about how we received was second to none how important it was for us to were feeling. They really and best of all they kept her be able to give something empathised with what we dignity throughout.” back. were going through.” 4 That was the “unique thing about Making St Barnabas Lincolnshire Hospice, they didn’t just look memories after Mum, they “ looked after the whole family. Irene was admitted into the hospice in November 2011 after being diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer in October 2011. Diane said: “The onset of the disease was very sudden Our dedicated workforce at our inpatient facilities work and Mum deteriorated tirelessly to ensure that our patients and their families receive extremely quickly. It was the care and support they need. They also recognise the hard to watch but the importance of creating special moments and memories for their doctors at the hospice took loved ones to cherish. the time to explain to us On Christmas Day our patients began the day with a specially what was happening and made breakfast complete with a mini bottle of fizz, box of what to expect as Mum’s chocolates and a lovingly wrapped Christmas present. We also condition worsened. ensured that any children visiting the hospice would have a present waiting for them under the hospice Christmas tree. “Most importantly they were always very honest with us; It is only with the generosity of our local community that we are we knew exactly what was able to support our patients in creating precious memories. happening at all times.” Irene had celebrated her You made a difference 69th birthday in the hospice before sadly dying on 6th In November we launched December 2011. an appeal on Facebook for unopened travel size toiletries Diane said: “There is nothing and light-weight fleece quite like St Barnabas blankets for our patients at Lincolnshire Hospice. our inpatient facilities. Nothing was ever too much The toiletries are used by our patients and our nurses to trouble and they cared for provide their personal care and the blankets were for our Mum with such unbridled patients who are sadly too emaciated for regular blankets. depths of compassion. The response we had from our supporters was unparalleled “For that reason alone we and we were simply overwhelmed by the show of support. will always support them Hundreds of donations were received daily from across the in any of our fundraising county and allowed us to give our patients the added quality of efforts. We just want be able care they deserve. to repay them for their care and kindness.” Thank you to each and every person who supported this appeal. www.stbarnabashospice.co.uk 5 cathy Time we never thought we’d have Chris Brooker, 50, relives how he broke the saddest news of all to the woman he loved. His wife Alie was dying from secondary bone cancer and she had only hours or at best days left to live. In this very personal account, Chris describes how transferring Alie to the hospice meant they were able to share more precious moments together. Chris said: “Alie’s diagnosis came completely Alie and Chris had been together for 33 years out of the blue. It was New Year’s Eve 2013 and married for 26. They were childhood and Alie was in the hospital to have her arm sweethearts who met at 15 and went on to looked at following an incident involving her have four children together. power steering belt snapping on her car. An “Up to this point I hadn’t told our children x-ray soon revealed that Alie had broken her about the cancer because Alie and I had humerus bone plus she had fractures to her wanted to sit down with them and tell ribs and hip area. them together at home, alongside the rest “These injuries were inconsistent with Alie’s of the family. Alie was put on a course of accident which was one with no trauma radiotherapy and suffered severe side effects attached to it. It was then that the doctors that made her extremely unwell and further revealed their suspicions: Alie could have weakened her already brittle bones. cancer. “With Alie too poorly to return home I took In a matter of days our worst fears were the decision to tell our children myself. It was confirmed by the results of a biopsy. one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, but I had to tell them. It just wasn’t fair to “It was then that Alie was diagnosed with leave them in the dark for one day longer.” secondary bone cancer.