Penumbra 2021 Volume 31 The Art & Literary Journal of Stanislaus State penumbra (pi-num ‘bre): n. 1. A partial shadow, as in an eclipse, between regions of complete shadow and complete illumination. 2. The partly darkened fringe around a sunspot. 3. An outlying, surrounding region; periphery; fringe. [Lat. paene, almost – Lat. umbra, shadow] All About Penumbra Since 1991, Penumbra has proudly published poetry, fiction, non-fiction, and visual art by contributors from the Stanislaus region, throughout the U.S., and abroad. Our staff is composed entirely of students: they make all editorial decisions, including which submissions are accepted and how the journal is designed. Because new students staff the journal every year, Penumbra constantly evolves. Each year, we receive hundreds of art and literary submissions, and through an anonymous voting process, we decide which works to accept. We then select the top prose, poetry, and art pieces from which the judges select the prize winners. Every Spring, English 4019: Editing Literary Magazines is open to students with junior or higher academic standing. Students from all majors are welcome: the course offers professional training in areas including art, business, and communications. Annually, we launch the new issue with a reading on the CSU Stanislaus campus, near the end of the Spring term. Thank you to the many contributors to Penumbra 2021. Your talent makes the journal what it is. Please continue sending in your work: submissions will open for Penumbra 2022 at the end of November of this year. Penumbra Staff Faculty Advisor Dr. Monica Montelongo Flores Editors-in-Chief Jarred White Essence Saunders Book Review Editor Hannah Neeley Assistant Book Review Editor Ahmed Fara Editing and Design Staff Autumn Andersen Tyler Armendariz Yoselin Bustos Gabriela Escalante Krista Funderburk Brittany Groves Seth Hawkins Mia Lorence Raymond Mahnke Alyssa Schaffer Bobbi Solano Andrea Wagner Table of Contents Judge Bios…………………………………………………………………………............ 13 Submissions Works with an * have a content warning. Come and Go with Us……....…………….................................………………..15 Ace Boggess (Poetry) Expressed.................……………………………………………………………….........16 Eun Young Park (Poetry) Elegy...........................................…………………………………………...............17 Alexandra McLaughlin (Poetry) Filmed Over...……………………………………………………………………….........20 RC deWinter (Poetry) Pannonica..............................................…………………….……………...........21 Ahmed Fara (Poetry) Still Walking...........................................…………………………………...........22 Ahmed Fara (Poetry) Dusty Days and Restless Nights.………………………………………….............23 Evan Young (Art) Demobilized……………………………………………………………………................24 Richard Stimac (Poetry) Anxiety....................................................…………………………………...........25 Shannon Meyers (Poetry) For the Good of the Dance........................................................................27 Ashley Renselaer (Poetry) Filling My Own Cup……………………………………………………………………..28 Lucy Murphy (Art) Osmosis…….........................………………………………………………………......29 Rachael Drenckpohl (Poetry) Where the Railroad Meets the Sea………………………………..…….............30 Marc Janssen (Poetry) They Say We're Just Fragmented Cavemen....………………………............31 Nieko McDaniel (Art) A Migrant's Quest for Home……………………………………………….............32 Debasish Mishra (Poetry) *'Tis Pity She's a Whore.………………………………….........………………….....33 Molly Dunn (Hybrid) Gulf......................................…………………………………………………………...36 Thomas Michael (Art) Up the Old Treehouse.……………………………………………...........……..........37 Brian Yapko (Poetry) Waves.................…………………………………………………………………...........39 Donna Pucciani (Poetry) *When the Trees Fall...............………………………………………………...........41 Alyssa Schaffer (Poetry) Flashlight………………………………………………………………….......................43 Molly Dunn (Hybrid) When We Bloom………………………………………………………………………......46 Lucy Murphy (Art) Maybe the Bravest Thing You Did Today Was Open Your Eyes and Agree That It Was Morning………..........………………………………….………....47 Trinity Fritz Lawrence (Poetry) Blue Suitcase………………………….…………………………………………………....49 Andrena Zawinski (Poetry) Negative Pleasure....…………………………………………………………...............51 Andrena Zawinski (Poetry) A Post Traumatic Child.....……………………………………………………...........52 Shylah Groves (Art) A City with Literary Routes……………………………………………………........53 Alex Phuong (Poetry) Life, I Suppose…….…………………………………………………………………........54 Patricia Mathu (Poetry) Safe..............………………………………………………………………………............55 Amanda Trask (Art) Chula Vista..........................................……………………………………………..56 Adeline Cruz (Poetry) 30 Days.....................……………………………………………………………..........57 J.C. Cordova (Poetry) A Psalm of David................…………………………………………………….........59 J.C Cordova (Poetry) Being Both Bitter and Wise………………………………………........................61 Charika Swanepoel (Poetry) Babyland Cemetery.……………………………………………………….................62 Will Neuenfeldt (Poetry) Books………………………………………………………………………........................63 Brian Potts (Poetry) Pandora's Inbox..................…………………………………………………….........65 RC deWinter (Poetry) A Subway Muso.....……..……………………………....…………………................67 John Grey (Poetry) Your Personal Best............……………………………………………………..........69 Eliza Fixler (Poetry) Harvests of Chernobyl………………………………………………....………..........70 Michele Reese (Poetry) Blue in Green…………………………………............…………………….................71 Lucas Khan (Poetry) A Word of Protest………...................................................……………..........74 Thomas Osatchoff (Poetry) Cash Flow………………………………..........…………………………………............75 Ernst Perdriel (Art) Goat Hairs………………………………………………………………….....................76 David Perez (Poetry) Burying Day……………………………………………………………........................77 James Piatt (Poetry) *Harold the Otter…..…………………………………………………………..............79 James Morena (Fiction) Palpitate. Pound. Tighten…………………................................……………….83 Stephanie Morales (Art) Holy Colors………………………………..……………………....………………..........84 Stephen Finlay (Poetry) Paying Attention………………………...................…………………………….......85 Nathan Bachman (Fiction) Gleeful Darkness 2a………...…………………………………………………...........89 Edward Supranowicz (Art) I Think of Solutions………………………………………………………………….......90 Kolbe Riney (Poetry) *Always a Fixer Upper……..….....................……………………………………...91 David Grubb (Non-Fiction) After de Kooning…………………………………………………………………...........94 Bonnie Wolkenstein (Poetry) The Curse…………………………………………..........…………………………..........95 Fabian Gonzalez Gonzalez (Fiction) Lake Day………………………………………………...............…….......................97 Erik Suchy (Art) Wisdumb………………………………………………………......………………………..98 Madison Durand (Poetry) Lights the Gas Stove & Says Fire…………………………………………..………..99 Mercury-Marvin Sunderland (Poetry) Revelation………………………………………......……………………………………..101 Peter Spaulding (Poetry) *Shoulder Dystocia…….…………………………………....…………..................103 Charlene Hoit (Poetry) Summer Shade…………………………………..…..……………………………........106 Erik Suchy (Art) Immigrant Life……………………………......……………………………………......107 Armand Ruci (Non-Fiction) I Was a Flat Earther……………………………………………………...................109 Nieko McDaniel (Art) The Loudest Kind of Silence……………………………....……………...............110 Alyssa Schaffer (Poetry) The Phoenix………………………………………………………..............................111 Ryan Mason (Poetry) The Rhino………………………………....….........................….........................113 John Grey (Poetry) The Water………………..……………………….................................................115 Walter Weinschenk (Poetry) The World Is Our Oyster……………….…………………………………………......117 Yi Jung Chen (Hybrid) Adolescence………………………………………………………...........………….......118 Cassady O’Reilly-Hahn (Poetry) Memories…………………………………………………………….......………............119 Martin George (Fiction) Midwinter Interlude……………………………………….…………………….........121 Eun Young Park (Poetry) Salvation Diptych………............................................………………............122 Sophia Zhao (Art) Midian…………………………………………………............................................123 Robert Beveridge (Poetry) The Tiger's Touch………………………………………………………………....125 Bruce Crown (Poetry) My Spice…………..................……………………………………………….............126 Shannon Meyers (Poetry) My Old Dog………………….................…………………………………...............127 Walter Weinschenk (Poetry) Natus Ex Machina………..…………….………….............……........................129 Andrew Furst (Poetry) Sabdariffa….....……………......................……………….…………………….......130 Mandakini Bhattacherya (Hybrid) On Time……………………….............................................……………….........131 Alexa St Martin (Poetry) At the End of the World I Think of My Beginning.……………….............133 Zoe Luh (Poetry) Augustus Gloop and the Chocolate Factory……………………………………135 Ryan Mason (Poetry) The Underdog Story………………..…………………………………………...........137 Matthew Berg (Non-Fiction) Too Much……………………………………………………………....………..............139 Amanda Trask (Art) The Cemetery of Forgotten Ideas…..……………………....………................140 Paul Van Sickle (Fiction) The Rose Laundry, An Oil Painting…..…………………....………................142 Rebecca Pyle (Art) I May Destroy You…..……………………....……….......................................143 Thomas Fucaloro (Poetry) Making Space…..……………………....................................………...............144 RC deWinter (Poetry)