The Dreams of Daughters A dissertation submitted to the Graduate School of the University of Cincinnati in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy in the Department of English of the College of Arts and Sciences by Elizabeth Harmon Threatt M.A. University of Cincinnati 2008 Committee Chair: Don Bogen, Ph.D. Abstract ³7KH'UHDPVRI'DXJKWHUV´LVDFROOHFWLRQRISRHPVWKDWH[SORUHVWKHFRQQHFWLRQV between family, domesticity, death, love and grief. Organized into four sections, the creative portion of my dissertation follows a trajectory that explores internalized and externalized grief and familial relationships. With a nearly consistent female narrator, the manuscript begins by looking at highly personal interactions between mothers, daughters, and sisters. As the sections progress, the narrator moves from the dreams of daughters, to those of lovers, husbands and wives, and fathers, ultimately returning to the moment that sparks the entire book ± the PRWKHU¶V death. Together, these poems provide a creative look at what happens to individuals and families when death alters the perspective of every relationship. This dissertation also includes a critical essay that focuses on the poetry collection Domestic Violence by the Irish poet Eavan Boland. The essay argues that these poems work to critique and dismantle mythologies of women that nationalist rhetoric often creates. Through a close examination of several poems in this collection, I show how Boland poetically subverts the woman-as-muse trope and strives to create a new and empowered space for women. ii iii Acknowledgements Aurorean : ³:KHQ:H5HDOL]H,W,V$XJXVW´ ³+HPPLQJ´ ³*LUORQD6ZLQJVHW´ Big Muddy : ³:KDW<RX:DQW´ Booth: A Journal : ³7KH'UHDPVRI:LYHs´ Cold Mountain Review : ³,I,t Brings Down Limbs´ ³-XQH+RXU´ ³.HPSHU&RXQW\´ Meadow: ³$IWHU6HHLQJ-RKQ:D\QHDQG0DXUHHQ2¶+DUD:KHQ,:DV7HQ´ Mississippi Review : ³The Danger of Being a Sister´ ³7KH'UHDPVRI'DXJKWHUV´ Poet Lore : ³/\LQJ1H[WWR<RX,)HHO´ RATTLE : ³$0XVW-Have for the Holidays´ The Rectangle : ³/LWWOH6LVWHU´ I would like to thank Dr. Don Bogen, who worked with me through multiple drafts of these poems, and who was always available with words of advice. I would also like to thank other faculty members of the University of Cincinnati, who had a part, knowingly or unknowingly, in the creation of this manuscript: John Drury, Dr. Danielle Deulen, Dr. Jana Braziel, Dr. Beth Ash, and Dr. Amy Elder. I would also like to thank my undergraduate mentor, Dr. Richard Lyons, from Mississippi State University, for sparking within me a love for poetry. I would also like to thank my friends and colleagues at UC for their friendship, proofreading, encouragement, and needed distraction: Mary Jo Tewes Cramb, Lisa Ampleman Warren, Rebecca Morgan Frank, Ruth Williams, George Potter, and Nick Chuha. My family is also deserving of appreciation, for their inspiration, love, and humor. Thanks to Bob and Frank, who kept my head out of the academic clouds. Special thanks to my sister, Debby, who has always been my best friend, and my father, who had to be much more. Finally, and most importantly, I thank Patrick, whose constant love and support helped me persevere. iv Table of Contents Part I Section I The Dreams of Daughters 2 Winter Birth 3 Hemming 4 Bedroom 5 Kemper County 6 Yellow Jackets 7 Girl on a Swingset 9 Adolescence 10 Little Sister 11 What We Leave Behind 12 The Dreams of Sisters 13 Insomnia 14 The Danger of Being a Sister 15 A Must-Have for the Holidays 16 Dear Mother 17 After the Burial 18 The Moonlit Branch 19 The Cat Outside the Window 20 Dream Life 21 Section II The Dreams of Lovers 24 Couple in the Far Booth 25 What You Want 26 Yet Another Want 27 When We Realize It Is August 28 Nightsong 29 Your Current Fantasy 30 Filming Your Script 31 Your Love Is a George Foreman Grill 32 Lying Next to You I Feel 34 Midnight Porch-Sitter 35 According to Society, This Is a Masculine Poem 36 Section III The Dreams of Wives 38 If It Brings Down Limbs 39 This November 40 v After Seeing John Wayne and MDXUHHQ2¶+DUD:KHQ,ZDV7HQ 41 June Hour 42 What She Would Have Required 43 Being Woman 44 Ode to My Appendix 45 Noah Moons His Wife 46 Debating with My Husband 47 The Dreams of Mothers 48 Seeing Myself as a Widow 49 Grandchild 50 A Son¶s 40th Birthday 51 The Brief Story of Our Life Together 52 Section IV The Dreams of Fathers 54 The Man Driving a Tractor on the Interstate 55 The Saw Mill 56 Forester 57 Feller Buncher 58 Outside the Chicken Coop 59 Carpenter 60 The Man Who Paints Nudes 61 On Hearing of Your Cancer 62 Meditation on a Nebraskan Landscape: Loess Plains 63 Part II Critical Essay: The Maternal Paradox: Nationalism, Gender, 64 DQG:RPHQ¶V6SDFHVLQ(DYDQ%RODQG¶VDomestic Violence vi I The Dreams of Daughters I have had dreams where you are alive again as if you were never dead in the first place, dreams where you are alive but I dream-know that you will be dead again when I wake up, dreams where I see you in the grocery store because you have faked your death and run away, dreams where you cheat on my father with lots of men, dreams where you eat ice cream and watermelon on the Fourth of July in a red-striped shirt, dreams where you shave your head and arms to learn how to sweat, dreams where your smell becomes the whole dream ± of tampons and baby powder in a blue space with my head lying next to your stomach, dreams where you are still my mother but younger than me and Japanese with a white face and purple flowers in your black hair, dreams where I can remember what your voice sounds like again, dreams where you touch my shoulders shyly and your hands become small birds brushing against my skin, dreams where we both know that I am dreaming, and so you are nothing more than you, and many, many dreams where all of your dream-lives exist together, but I have never had a dream where I ask you why you have been dead, why you are still dead, why you are dead in the first place, or why the memory of you is always like sticking my tongue in a vastness of sand instead of the simple taste of honeysuckle I grew up believing it would be. 2 Winter Birth ,DOZD\VWKLQNRIP\PRWKHU¶VGHDWK 3 Hemming She slices black thread above the daughter's knee picking out ends like burrs from purple cloth, one licked thumb against the new bare width, a brief glance at the edges, almost giving up her mouth's corner-death-grip on three pins, her lips¶ white dandelion fray, her hands as strong as buttons. 4 Bedroom There was some secret war here, deep-hidden 5 Kemper County What I remember is her smell of dust, musty in the dark, his blank face hoary against the rough wind. Nothing else comes first, except the unpredictable, wary sigh of dishes shifting in the cabinets. The room ached to know what strong glue held the kitchen stairs in place, their ancient fret- work sagging like wet sweetgum leaves cradled in a gutter. He picked a knife from the drawer and threw it into the floor; its handle rattled. She plucked it out with two fingers, more curious than angry. Within the lull, I watched it slip beneath kitchen sink soap, its shadow waving thin, briefly unstopped. 6 Yellow Jackets 1. My face was stung. And stung; 7 (Yellow Jackets, cont.) 8 Girl on a Swingset In her emerald-studded globe, she kicks up a fine cloud of gold, rubs her face into blistered hands. Pulling on her ropes, she tilts her head toward the sun and throws back her hair, nuzzling effortlessly into sky. 9 Adolescence The little girl is not 10 Little Sister That small ridge on your nose you think looks like the foothills of the Smoky Mountains and once compared to the hump on the back of the man who works down at the BP on weekends, UHDOO\LVQ¶WVREDG It houses you, not the you with big feet, or the thirteen-year-old you with small breasts, but the you with teeth and hair and flakes of skin that scatter with every whooshing step and sigh. ,QVLGHWKDW³OLWWOHVNLVORSH´RXUGHDGPRWKHU lives and breathes, doing calisthenics and shouts for grandkids, peeking out through your pores, with gray eyes, onion-paper skin, and scars on both wrists. 7KH\RXZLWKDF\QLFDOVPLUNKDVQ¶WEHHQERUQ\HW The sneer and grimace still lie dormant in your cartilage, flexing their muscles. Those hearts you draw on your science notebooks DUHQ¶WWKHKHDUWVRIWRPRUURZZKHQ\RXZLOO stare blankly at an ivory-tinted wall wondering where your husband is, and whether you brought his suit back from the dry cleaners, and if he will bother to come back to get it. When you look at me with my eyes and her eyes, we will sit together, humming tuneless songs, WKH³%DWWOH+\PQRIWKH5HSXEOLF´RUPD\EH some Frank Sinatra. 7KHQZH¶OOEDNHUDLVLQFRRNLHV DQGWKH\¶OOVLWRQWKHVKHOI between layers of waxed paper, cementing into small planets composed only of crystallized sugar and ice. 11 What We Leave Behind for my siblings 1. I watched the moon suck honey from the ocean 12 The Dreams of Sisters Tonight you have wasted no time 13 Insomnia In the encyclopedia of monotonies, 14 The Danger of Being a Sister I am not obsessed with your hair. It is your right front tooth that enthralls me. Little square thing WKDWZDVMXVWOLNHRXUEURWKHUV¶ I am sure there is some of me in there somewhere.