June 30 Issue 4 The Sci-Tech Times T H E D A I L Y N E W S P A P E R F O R 6 - P O I N T S S C I - T E C H A C A D E M Y Today's Menu Riddle Of The Day Breakfast: Scrambled & Hard Cooked Eggs, Breakfast Fries, French A man is pushing his car along the Toast, Vegetarian Sausage, Yogurt & Fruit Bar, Fresh road when he comes to a hotel. Bagels, Pumpkin Bread, Blueberry Muffins, Donuts, Cold He shouts, "I'm bankrupt!" Why? Cereal Lunch: Yesterday's Answer: A mushroom Hamburger, Grilled Chicken Breast, Hot Dog, BBQ Beef on Torta Bun, Rice Pilaf, Aloo Gobi Matar, Steamed Kale, Corn, Salad Bar, Deli Bar, Marinara Sauce, GF Pasta, Pasta, Brown Rice, Sticky Rice Dinner: Puzzle Of The Day Hamburger, Grilled Chicken Breast, Hot Dog, Fried Chicken, Chickpeas with Ginger, Leek & Spinach, Potato Wedges, Vegetable Blend, Roasted Carrots, Cheese Pizza, Vegetable Pizza, Marinara Sauce, GF Pasta, Pasta, Brown Rice, Sticky Rice, Salad Bar, Deli Bar The Weather Today High: 72 Low: 62 55% chance of rain Today's Story Sci-Tech East Announces Barbarian Initiative By Jon Today director Jayme Dale Mallindine has announced she will be leading the new barbarian workshop at Sci-Tech East. She has decided to shed her former identity as a camp director and take the name Jay-Nor the Conqueror, she has announced plans to raid the campus of Sci-Tech West to steal their air conditioning units. At a press conference Jay-Nor, brandishing a large double edged axe, stated “we will sail in longboats to Sci-Tech West and have our fill of foo d and battle and return with the delights of conquest”. The Sci-Tech Times would like to point out that Sci- Tech West is located outside of Los Angeles and is not reachable by water within a reasonable time frame. When pressed for comment Jay- Nor flew into a rage; smashing several chairs, tables and one reporter in the process. Luckily the Sci-Tech Times has decent health insurance. While Jay-Nor has been very public about her plans for a raid, it is still unknown if any other people will be joining the planed barbarian horde but loud chanting and battle singing has been heard from the Technion at night and listeners hear the voice of Will Mason performing pre-battle music, but it is unknown if he is taking up the role of barbarian or has decided to become a bard to support raid with inspirational tunes. Little else is known of Jay-Nor’s intentions towards other URJ camps, but witnesses have seen maps leading to Eisner and Crane Lake in her office. Here at the Sci-Tech Times, we wish Jay-Nor a battle that proves her might to the world!.