"Courage is like love; it must have hope for nourishment." Napoleon Bonaparte The Age ofPoe,ns Taylor Sanders AgelO Have you ever felt pain? Not the pain of a thorn, Not the pain of a fall, Or the pain of a broken leg. Not the pain of a skid, Not the pain of a smack, Or the pain of a sickness. Not the pain of a bump, Not the pain of a burn, It's the pain of being apart, This pain comes from the heart. Age 11 I once knew the devil, The devil most don't see. He was gentle, kind, and caring. The devil wore a mask. He cried at night in his sleep. The devil has an Angel she protects him from his dreams. Age12 I feel loneness in my heart And no strength in my bones. Sweat from the fear, And cries from the pain. When I needed safety, there was no shield to hide me. I was afraid for the knife to Reach my wrist, For my mind is never at rest. Black covers over my eyes Haven't kept me from the dark side Choices that hurt me But there is a ray of sunlight above me And hands clutching me tight Freeing me from lonely chains. Age13 My Angel, did you come from above? Did you know Jesus? Do you forgive my sins? My Angel, Have you seen happiness? Have you seen sadness? Have you seen the rich? And the poor? Have you listened to the prayers? Have you felt faith? Have you seen the good? And the bad? My Angel, What about my life? Have you heard the anger? Have you watched the violence? Were you scared? Angel of mine, Have you listened? Have you seen? Have you cried? Age14 It's raining in my head, Thoughts of you are drowning me I can't help when I scream your name in my sleep, I hold your complexion on the surface of memory, To visit when the pain creeps up on me. It's raining in my head. I'm all alone. I cry myself to sleep. I wake up with tear in my eyes. These dreams are filled with my fears, your lies. I just want to let it all go. I can't keep going with the flow. I'm tired of the hurts that lurks inside. I'm tired of the demons that tear down my pride. I want these cold tears to leave me dry. I want to hold you again. I want to kiss your lips one more time. With this love, I hold hope And last night I cried for the last time. I'll stand with strength and have patience. One of these days, the rain will stop. The tears will end, and I'll hold you again. Age 15 The only time I don't cry, I'm thinking of suicide. But I know deep inside, I have too much pride. It wouldn't matter much, forgotten in six months. What's the point in living, when you're only gonna die? What's the point in smiling, when you're only gonna cry? What's the point in loving, When it'll only be fake. What's the point in giving, When you know they're gonna take. What's the point in fixing, When it's only gonna break. Broken hearts. Broken lies. Broken tears. Broken cries. Broken promises. All built on a broken past. Welcome to my house. Age16 There is a place I search for, up here, above the mass A place where I can be what I have always dreamed of. I stand tall, Searching for what my heart desires. What my soul longs for. The sunlight. To simply BREATHE! I just want to close my eyes, and see the air through the feeling of breath. Close my eyes, and not feel tears. To hold my head high, without the tension of thought Pulling at every depth in my mind. To SCREAM with JOY! Any Joy. Somejoy. One feeling of joy. Is depression a state of willing agony I allow myself to soak? No. I live to be happy. I live to love, to be loved, to feel love. Too feel the Universe, hear the Universe, see the Universe In you, any of you. I look amongst the stone walls for one simple window to peer from. An opportunity to see someone, for someone to see me. Know me. Love me for who I am. Age 17 I pour my soul away, into hands that begin to decay. I let my tears fall heavily into a lake gone dry. I throw my heart at you. The daggers, they protrude. I tell you only truth, in turn you let it manipulate your attitude. Your behavior is killing me. My feelings are boiling. Soon you will be gone, and my life empty of all. All I look forward to with wake The dawn of each life grasping moment The thunder is roaring. My wings are ready for soaring. But my heart, soul, and mind have been left behind. Incomplete. Pushing delete. Erase. Escape. Does this mean anything? A wondering soul with the heart of a storm. A whispering dream told in a discouraging tone. A gorgeous feeling, Plummeting towards deceit. A longing wish, as a star fades. The sky isn't falling, but the ground is caving in. Age18 Watching through a dirty glass window: Something I can't help but see-I don't fit in. I'm not like any of them. Straight up told I wasn't intelligent But that I know I truly am. You won't find me staring obsessively into a mirror, or going insane trying to find something to wear. You won't find me conforming to society, or feeding into what I know to be ignorance. I won't hold my tongue because you feel a power over me ... your respect is all I see. I respect you, if you respect me. With that mutual agreement, I find what truth is in this world. I don't see knowledge in an I.Q. test, but rather a means for you to degrade me. I see knowledge in the eyes that venture out to learn, and on return, teach their neighbor. I don't see power as a badge, but rather something that lives within your soul. The power to give, to heal, to teach, to love, to admire, to accept. The power to be what they said you couldn't. The power to speak, to think, to listen, to understand. The power to be, to evolve, to become. The power to see past the reflection on your dirty glass window. The power to be more than another ghetto statistic. Age19 The feeling of My toes in the sand. The wind in my hair. Rain on my face. · The sun in my eyes. Snow on my tongue. Your lips touching mine. The feeling of Thunder on my ears. A cold breeze on wet flesh. The smell of water from the sky. The pavement on bare feet. The soft grass I stop to sleep. Your name drifting through my dreams. The feeling of A nostalgic memory. A new friend. The words I love you. The joy oflaughter. The aching smiles Daring to search your eyes. The feeling of I say I do You say it too Us trying to survive in life. The fear of mistakes. The blinded faith Getting through it with you The feeling of Her first breath. Her first cry. Her first look upon this life. Her first laugh. My first love. A gift that last forever. Age20 Even if the rain never ends, I know the sun exists in my veins, And shines through to my soul. The Universe lives within me. Age23 Teetering on the edge of sanity My mind, a black hole of negativity Lost in a storm of animosity Day dreaming of love only found in movie scenes Missing my heart like it left my chest Missing independence Missing acceptance Just waiting for a chance to break away Astonished I haven't turned to the other side Any attempt to get away from this life The future only looks like todays reflection And a growing pit of guilt spreads like poison. My heart aches for the ones I break I'm sorry I've succumbed to being such a liar His heart sits in my lap, his? Out back in a potato sack, waiting to be buried with our vows. I wish we could live the fantasy We seem to treasure it as reality One day, we'll ALL be happily ever after For now, I hide the truth because I made the mistake of choosing the wrong future. My heart sits here at your feet. You deserve better than me. Does that make it okay for me to leave? Because I can't stay here anymore my dear husband. Age28 Our souls bloom much in the way flowers do. The planting of a seed. The cracking of a shell. Life, forcing its way to the surface, Branching out into a foreign, exotic world. Extending in growth, depending on the elements. Giving to the possibilities of life . •Love be our nourishment. The expression of it... our sunshine. •We are born into the arms of our Creator. Held with steady devotion. A promise for breath. From the moment our mother calms our first infant cries We understand the need for another. •Love is as important to life as water.