Follow these tips to avoid making a wedding guest faux pas, writes Angela Baura. o you know that it is immediate family member, you may inauspicious to present wish to save this article for a later date, a Chinese couple because it would be inappropriate with a wedding gift for you to attend a Chinese wedding Dwrapped in white? Or that it is at this time, advises Leongwoo Yan, inappropriate to wear red to an Indian an international award-winning wedding? Perhaps you know that it’s photographer who specialises in inconsiderate to drag your children to destination weddings in South East an American wedding unless they have Asia and Hong Kong. been invited. Or perhaps you don’t. But if you’re not celebrating or As a cosmopolitan metropolis, commiserating, let the preparations Hong Kong provides its residents with begin. ample opportunities to learn about a While Chinese weddings may myriad of religious and ethnic beliefs. incorporate many traditions, such as Whilst we may get away with being the tea ceremony where the couple oblivious to cultural nuances on a kneels and serves tea to their elders, daily basis, it’s still advisable for guests these events are for family members to know about the traditional do’s and only. Guests may be invited to attend don’ts before attending the wedding of a civil or church ceremony and a a friend or colleague. Chinese banquet, which includes It would be impossible to cover a nine-course meal. According to the traditions of every religion Leongwoo, some Chinese wedding and nationality in this article, and hosts still serve shark fin soup as one often weddings are a unique fusion of those courses. Today, however, it’s of different cultures. Courtesy of acceptable not to eat it if it’s served Hong Kong’s renowned wedding to you. Simply leave it uneaten and it professionals, here is a broad overview will be collected with the empty dishes of guest etiquette at traditional prior to the next course being served. Chinese, Indian and Western When deciding what to wear weddings. to the wedding, avoid colours that may upset the couple and their Chinese weddings families. Sonya Yeung, founder If you have married within the last of luxury destination wedding three months or have recently lost an planning company, Bliss Creations, 46 Playtimes February 2013 47 While Chinese weddings may incorporate many traditions, such as the tea ceremony where the couple kneels and serves tea to their elders, these events are for family members only. says, “Guests should not wear red, Indian weddings Meena Bazaar, one of India’s premier as the colour represents the luck, Natasha Mahtani Mohinani had a Indian clothing providers for women. happiness and fortune of the new traditional four-day Hindu wedding Whilst the colours black and bride. Traditionally, guests were also in Mumbai, India. Events included white are associated with funerals expected to avoid wearing white, engagement, mehendi (henna), sangeet and mourning, guests can wear either blue, black and green; however, (dance) and reception parties, prayer colour if their clothes are “festive there are fewer taboos around this and wedding ceremonies. According looking,” explains Hardeep. “The nowadays.” to Leongwoo, you should never refuse more discerning female guest will still To cover the cost of their meal, or throw away the blessed sweet food avoid wearing a shade of red, which is guests traditionally give money in a called “karah prashad”, which is the traditional bridal colour.” red envelope (lai see) as a wedding gift typically served at Sikh and Hindu There are three little words to the couple. According to Sonya, weddings. You should accept it sitting that are likely to appear on many “Amounts should be no less than $800 down with cupped hands. an Indian wedding invitation: “No per person and should include even Whilst each wedding will differ gifts, please.” However, this doesn’t amounts of bills, but not the number based on the religious beliefs of the mean that you should turn up empty- four, as it symbolises death. Including couples, most Indian weddings include handed; rather, you are expected the number nine within your lai see is hundreds of guests partying for a to give money to the bride and good luck as the pronunciation means week, or longer. You may, therefore, groom. With hundreds of guests in ‘long and forever’.” require more than one “bling” outfit attendance, the couple will have a Lilian Tang and her British to see you through the festivities. hard time figuring out where to store husband married in the Seychelles You may choose to wear Indian multiple toasters and photo frames. just over ten years ago. The couple clothes or the Western attire that Money is therefore considered to be a had a civil ceremony and, in order would be appropriate for a dressy useful gift. to please Lilian’s parents, customary wedding. The rule to remember is “Whatever the amount of money hair-combing and tea ceremonies. that modesty matters for the temple given, it should always be given Whilst her parents are not entirely ceremony. Avoid plunging necklines in uneven amounts, ending in the traditional, they do expect guests to and short hemlines, especially given number ‘one’, which signifies good follow wedding gift protocol. that you may be required to sit on the luck. The money is presented in a “Gifts that symbolise death or floor. You may also need to cover your decorative coloured envelope,” says the end of relationships should not head at the temple. “A dupatta, or Hardeep. be given to the couple. These include scarf, has many uses, such as covering A note of warning if you are asked clocks, towels, pointed and sharp your head, bare shoulders or that to give a speech at an Indian wedding objects, gifts in black or white or sets plunging neckline,” advises Hardeep that is likely to include numerous of four,” says Lilian. Jandu, Hong Kong representative for conservative relatives and family February 2013 49 friends: Hardeep says, “Avoid any During the wedding breakfast food will not be served.” And, keep mention of previous girlfriends or the or reception, remember to sit at your in mind, at a Western wedding, it is groom’s drinking habits. His pranks assigned table. “The bride and groom considered rude to leave before the may be hilarious to you but Aunty have spent a lot of time considering cutting of the cake. may not be impressed!” who should sit where, so respecting At some point during the day, this is important,” advises Sonya. It is the bride may turn her back to all the Western weddings typically inappropriate to bring guests guests and toss her bouquet over her “Compared to Asian counterparts, unless they are specifically invited, so if head for single women to compete Western weddings are much less you are single, confirm ahead of time in catching. According to tradition, superstitious, though there are still whether you’re allowed to bring a date. the woman who catches the bouquet traditions that are upheld today,” Allison Clarke and her husband will be next in line to marry. But if Sonya advises. Whilst the wedding married in London, England, in 2003. you’ve made the almighty mistake of dressing in white, the colour reserved for the bride on her special day, expect Compared to Asian counterparts, to have a lot more than a bouquet thrown at you. Western weddings are much less In terms of what to wear, “The superstitious, though there are still level of formality, from casual to tuxedo, is often mentioned in the wedding traditions that are upheld today … invitation,” Leongwoo advises. While some couples may programme may be different “We had a church wedding in the appreciate money as a wedding gift, depending on the nationality and afternoon, and planned a reception others may find it impersonal, says religious beliefs of the couple, guest party for 80 guests later that evening. Leongwoo. Sonya says, “Some couples protocol is generally the same. Except we had 82 guests as my work sign up on a gift registry. If not, If you have been invited to a colleague brought her children with consider a thoughtful gift that will be Western wedding, remember to her, which was annoying.” useful to the couple.” RSVP, says Sonya. On the day, you Photographer Leongwoo If you’re attending a wedding should arrive and take your seat a few confirms: “Some British and not of your own culture, the gift of minutes before the ceremony starts, American weddings are for adults good manners goes a long way. Do bearing in mind that the front rows only, simply because kids below 12 your homework, be considerate and, are generally reserved for close family years old can pose challenges to to be the perfect wedding guest, or friends, with the very first seats formal weddings.” He adds, “Some wholeheartedly enjoy the experience – reserved for the bridal party. receptions are also cocktails only, so without getting too drunk, that is! February 2013 51.