12 • SIGNAL ..... ,..lui, .~.1.78 Anyone Got Those Knox unnally Blues? Eventually, every sports columnist gets around to "we·II-hit." A typical Ernie-ism might be: "He hit that except for one thing: ABC's guys. wear those silly doing one universal subject. Or subjects. Every ball well. Royster runs well. but Bench throws well yellow blazers. They look like the parking attendants columnist will do something about the and Matthews hits well, so Coxmaymanagewell and at the Bangkok Hilton. commercialism of sports. Everycolumnist willdoone not send him." Ernie.being an ex-player rather than a Let's beginwith CBS. Vin Scully, Frank Glieber.Pat about the fans' voting in the All-Star game. Every professional broadcaster, also has trouble stringing Summerall, Brent Musburger. and Jack Whitaker columnist will do his own All-Star team. (Remember ideas together. His thoughts come irrfrBgments. are quite good. So far, a good batting average. They Graham's Grist last Example:"Hubbard hits that ballwell.The Braves are improved it byfiring Jim Brown recently. Brown last week?) And every ---- home Thursday against Montreal. The Chicken just year showed terrible biases infavor of running backs. columnist willdoone KEITH did a flip on the dugout. Nine hits for Atlanta. That's In one game, he praised Earl Campbell for carrying about sports an- Al.DEla.T'5ON the bullpen." No continuity. And worst of all,hedoes it the ball loosely, saying that it helped him squirm for nouncers. on radio, so you often have no idea what's going on: more yardage.Thenhe tumed around andcriticized a Well, I've given in. Sports "High fly...Office...one down." So. let's just say that wide receiver for "trying to get too much." Isee-the This one's about Edlfor good 01' Ern is inept and leave it at that. backs are allowed to dribble the ball down the field, announcers. I know .=:::=...----' The other more visible local mouths belong to the but the receivers should fall down in their tracks. I'm weak to giveinso score-readers on the TV news. Of those, Jim Viondi Right, Jim. Enjoythe unemployment line. easily, in this, only my sixth column. But I've been is the least offensive. Art Eckmanthe least capable, My least favorite CBS mike-jockey is Tom pushed to the breaking point. and Harmon Wages, the least. But one makes me Brookshier. He abbreviates everything! "J.D. got the Let's start with the positive. SkipCaray is the best gnash my teeth with disgust, crush my beer can in INT in the EZand stopped a T.D. for L.A." The man announcer on the planet. His wit and relaxed style my hand, and growl at the set. The object of my learned the alphabet in first grade and quit there. are refreshing in a medium full of yelling,humorless fantasized wrath is one Knox Nunnally. ABC has its capable ones. such as Jim McKay, dolts. He doesn't babble incessantly, nor does he Do any of you get as ill as Ido watching Nunnally? Keith Jackson, AI Michaels and Don Drysdale. And I pump us full of more information than we care to For one thing. hetries to pitch hisvoice to sound like like old Don Meredith. even if hedoes everything but know. His humorous escapades, such as his an announcer. He constantly says. 'Well, I'll tell you comment on the action. Iloveto hear him sing "Tum repeated kiddingof CO-announcerPete Van Wieren's .." while he waves his hand. He uses nicknames and Out the Lights" at a game's end. ties with Mr. Twinkie, add spark to otherwise dull cliches at a Guinness World Record pace. His smile But Chris Schenkel is getting senile. Frank Gifford Braves games. And his professional. often energetic, is drawn on by laundry markers. He is ridiculously has the personality of a sea urchin. And then there's handling of Hawks' games adds even more drama to biased to the home teams, to a fault, in fact. His Howard. an exciting team. Nice job, Mr. Caray. filmed reports, such as one I saw last week about What is it about Cosell that steals the show? The But Skip's other baseball partner, ErnieJohnson.is Falcon rookie Mike Moroski, shed no light of any kind, man has a certain quality that is really worth another story. I almost hate to cut Ernie down, and are about as informative as a stale fortune listening to. On baseball games, he does tend to gab because I'veheard he's a real nice fellow. But Imust. cookie. As a sports journalist, he is an unfunny joke. way too much about anything and nothing. But Ernie Johnson is extremely dull.He does the game in Channel 2 should know better. Monday Night Football wouldn't be the same without a sing-song monotone that renders listeners to Enough about the voices we're blessed with here. Howard. His tremendous memory allows him to snoring hulks. Every ball hit, from a bunt to a What about the national bunch? Well, on the whole, recall facts that the most die-hard fans can't tape-measure home run, is referred to by Ernie as I'd rate CBS and ABC over the announcers of NBC, See Sportscasting pg. 14.