VIPER: Wrong, Toad! No race can match the versatility that Chaos brings to the pitch. McSLAY: I just think-- VIPER: Toad! Toad! Toad! The last time anyone was this wrong, was when your mom cancelled her appointment at the abortion clinic. McSLAY: That’s just hurtful. VIPER: Darken traded up to grab The Brackish Brawlers at #4. The highest Lizardmen have ever been drafted. McSLAY: Interesting fact: This will be the fourth Era for The TOAD McSLAY: Welcome, everybody, to the OFL’s Era 7 Race Brawlers, keeping them ahead of Cactuar Calamity for most Draft! It’s great to finally be back after -- seasons – HELL VIPER: Toad! Toad! Toad! Toad! Toad! Toad! VIPER: Yeah, not really that interesting. McSLAY: What? McSLAY: … VIPER: Nothing. I was just warming up my vocal cords. VIPER: We then returned to our regularly scheduled programming of claws, claws, and more claws, as the next McSLAY: Anyway… I know the hiatus seemed like an eternity, four picks were Nurgle and Chaos Dwarfs. but – McSLAY: I gotta tell you, I love the aggressive maneuvering of VIPER: Well Toad, maybe it wouldn’t have seemed so long if Acropolis and Uldreg here. Both coaches moving up from the you would have had yourself placed in a medically induced 30s to get their desired race. coma like I did. VIPER: Props to McClane for being the most tradingest coach McSLAY: You’ve been in a coma? in the draft. He went from 15 to 6, down to dead last at 36, VIPER: That’s right! No point wasting my life on anything back up to 16, and finally ended up at 8. that’s not draft related. Speaking of wasting life, what did you McSLAY: Pure Orabbi-like madness! do with your time off? VIPER: After being criminally undervalued in previous drafts, McSLAY: I’ve been working at Scarbucks, helping people Necro was the new hotness this time around. Locked out at select their coffee, and analyzing their decisions. #15! They had only been selected ONCE inside the top 15 VIPER: Well, I’ll bet you’re happy to be back, riding my before this! coattails again. McSLAY: Coaches are finally realizing the potential here. McSLAY: Yeah. Not regretting this at all. Werewolves are a top 5 positional. VIPER: Let’s get to it. VIPER: Thank you Captain Obvious. Any more knowledge bombs to drop on us? McSLAY: The draft started off exactly as everyone expected, with Chaos going one, two, three. I feel like Chaos is always McSLAY: Things start getting interesting in the late teens. over-valued in the draft. VIPER: That’s a little old. McSLAY: What? VIPER: Gravedigger’s Union has to be happy about that. VIPER: I said, “It’s a little cold.” In here. I probably should McSLAY: For sure. The Draft wrapped up with Dwarfs, High have worn a sweater. Elves, Norse, and a pair of Bretonnians making up the final five. McSLAY: Right. Wood Elves, Vampires, and Ogres went 17, 18, and 19 respectively. VIPER: Tremendous upside with these picks. ChrisMc, Remthar, and Travelscrabble have zero competition for free VIPER: These are the kind of reaches that make me want to agents. And, despite their shallow free agent pool, I believe pull out my hair, and you know how much I love my hair! Bretonnians are vastly underrated, and will definitely make a McSLAY: Your hair looks like a Troll merkin. big impact. VIPER: You could have easily selected these races ten picks McSLAY: A little surprising that no one selected Khemri or later. Terrible value here! Terrible! Kislev. Why are you shaking your head? That’s just a fact. No one selected— McSLAY: You don’t always know what other coaches are going to do. VIPER: Toad! Toad! Toad! Toad! You got it all wrong! It’s not a surprise that those niche races weren’t picked. You need to VIPER: I know! I’m Hell Fucking Viper! I always know what up your game, son! You need better sources! everyone is going to do! They should just scrap the draft, and let me assign the races to everyone! McSLAY: Okay, I’m through arguing with you. McSLAY: Yep. That would be super fun. VIPER: A nail doesn’t argue with a hammer! VIPER: I know it would. Let’s just move along. McSLAY: What? That doesn’t even make sense! McSLAY: After back-to-back-to back selections of Dark Elves, VIPER: Yeah? You don’t! we saw the return of Underworld. McSLAY: Alright, fuck this. We’ll see you next time, folks. VIPER: We ended up with two Underworld teams! Unprecedented! Unbelievable! McSLAY: Wood Elves, Amazons, Humans, and Undead were next. VIPER: Much better value at this point. Bonus points to the coaches who traded into this area. That’s how you work The Draft! McSLAY: What stands out— VIPER: I strongly disagree! McSLAY: What? You didn’t even let me— VIPER: It doesn’t matter! Whatever you’re going to say, you’re wrong! McSLAY: Such a dick. VIPER: Kudos to Hammertime and GunterDorkson for standing pat and closing out Orcs at 28 and 29. Possibly the best value in the entire draft. McSLAY: I just don’t understand how a top power team like Orcs was still available at this point in The Draft. VIPER: Other things Toad doesn’t understand: basic math, female genitalia, and soap. McSLAY: Hilarious. The reigning champs, Cactuar Calamity, will be back to defend their title. Not all approve of this violence however. The Kleevland Klaw Killaz claim they wish to rid the world of claw in vengeance for the countless orcs killed or maimed by claw every year. “Iz just not fair,” said their spokesorc, “We iz supposed ta smash, not get smashed!” Numerous teams have been making grandiose displays in the build-up to the opening games. Britonia Chivilraics have been performing acts of chivalry and nobility across the land, building a large fanbase. Touch of Grey and Chrysalis Grotesque have both been making much publicized hospital appearances, to encourage the sick and dying. This has Welcome to the Bloodblotter Gossip corner! My name is resulted in a minor public health catastrophe, but a lot of new Cubbles Greenhill, Halfling Ace Reporter previously of the fans have been created by the heartfelt gesture! Moot Wombler and Cubbles Report. I’ve been contracted to hunt down the latest gossip as the Old World Football League revives, and bring it straight to you, the reader! Teams have Other teams have been performing similar charitable acts, been streaming through the city with a festival-like such as a wildly successful benefit concert by the newly atmosphere in full progress! reformed Spinal Snap, a program to provide beer for the needy by the Company of the Keg and a major blood drive from the Orford Family. Famous returning teams, such as the Oblivion Knights, Brackish Brawlers and Primeval Thunder, are of course taking the spotlight. The reignition of the old rivalry between the Not all teams acts are so charitable. Delicious Murder have Oblivion Knights and Brackish Brawlers is the cause of much been accused of stealing and eating Grandmothers through talk in bars, even more violence, eight murders and three acts the province. Responding to these allegations, coach of arson so far! Michaels responded ‘We would never eat Grandmas, I love Grandmas, one of my players is even a Grandma, you eat Grandmas’. Even piracy is occurring, as the Black Gulf Booty Primeval Thunder are causing just as much controversy, with Smashers sailed into port lasted night, looted it, signed shirts fans arguing the modern players bring shame to the past for their fans, stole the shirts, then returned to sea! players or that the past players bring shame to the modern ones, and whether most of the players are washed up already or that all of them are. The Great Ulthuan Exiles undertook a ‘pre-victory’ parade through the streets of Altdorf, during rush hour, with no warning or permit. Crowds threw roses in the path of the high But the chaos in the streets is only beginning, as the OFL elves grand chariots, as well as a great number of bricks at Ragequit entered the scene. Since the retirement of Kaigen, their heads. there have been concerns that the most violent team in the League would go soft, but their Coach promised more blood than ever before. The entire team was arrested shortly after for numerous acts of violence completely unrelated to bloodbowl, but it is anticipated they will be released before their first match. The Suicide Squad are making similar promises, and promising to win as well! Chaos fans are reported to be concerned about this split focus from the team. This interfered with Cactuar Calamity’s own impromptu The Ginger Snaps are also rumoured to be well funded. Some riot/parade as returning champions. Fans from the teams, as sources indicate a reclusive Kislev billionaire to be funding the well as the squads of the newly formed Goats of Death, Mad team, but others claim the fortune is stolen slann gold. The Hatters and Detroit Draught--all looking for trouble--quickly Snaps themselves could not be reached for comment. began a street war that only ended with a cannon volley from the Altdorf Guard. Money isn’t everything in bloodbowl. Power and who you know matter too. While the team Ogre Rated legally has no Undead swarmed the aftermath, including players from the relation to the Commissar-Commissioner-Tyrant Yarrick, and Reanimation Sensations, fueling rumours of them making a thus there could be no accusations of bias, it has been return.