NOVEMBER 2018 SINCE AUGUST 2007 PAGE 1 www.theagiot.com Tel: (0030) 6974932408 The Agiot 133rd Edition This Month Cover Photo. Simon’s World. Bespoke Property.. Page 1 Pages 9-10 Page 27 Saturday Walks. The Way Things Are and Were. Weather. Page 2 Page 11 Page 27 Letters to the Editor. Advertising. Nick the Clock’s World. Page 2 Pages 12-15 Pages 28-30 Gooner’s Gags. Agiotfest. Aunty Lula’s Love-Bites. Pages 3-4 Pages 16-17 Page 30 Hilary’s Ramblings. The Second Corfu Garbage Festival... Nature. Pages 5-7 Pages 18-19 Pages 31-32 Pine Leaves. This is Rubbish. Tickle ties the knot. Page 7 Pages 19-20 Page 33 Video Corner. Waste to Energy Proposal. Sold Property.. Page 7 Pages 20-22 Page 33 The Royal British Legion Poppy Appeal. Re-cycling. OCAY Villas. Page 8 Page 23 Page 33 A Poem. Village and Island News. Corfu Trail Properties & OCAY Property. Page 8 Pages 24-26 Page 34 NOVEMBER 2018 SINCE AUGUST 2007 PAGE 2 Saturday Walks Letters to the Editor Saturday, 10 November Message from the Editor: LAKONES: Old Footpaths to Makrades & Krini Sorry for late publication. Jan our Compositor (2 hours ***) Meet at Dolce, west side of Lakones, read last month’s Detective’s Tales and, being 10.00 for 10.30 start. Lunch at Elizabeth's, from Liverpool, somehow thought she was Doukades. implicated. She has fled the Country! Will she NOTE: We got VERY wet on this walk last year. return? Will she be nabbed? Tune in next Hoping for better weather! month to find out. Saturday, 17 November May I recommend you tarry a while in the DAFNATA - STAVROS: The ‘Vouno’ and video section this month, especially you Pantokrator Church (2 hours ***). Meet at Kostas bathers. Bar, Dafnata, by the viewpoint, 10.00 for 10.30 start. Lunch at Areti's Place, Agii Deka Village. NOTE: Among the best views in Corfu, and defo From a rising Agiot star the best mountain footpath. OMG...i was having a dream last night about turtles...dreamt it bit me...i woke up and my finger was throbbing...thought that's weird it's a dream...then my finger was really hurting....me thinks now something has really bitten me. No puncture mark though..i frantically search the bed..nothing...i go back to bed...something starts to crawl on my head...i get up patting my head like a maniac...and on my pillow...there it is.....it was huge...i ran with pillow to window..to get it off...but whole thing fell out of window......yuk… Saturday, 24 November Makes you wonder what crawls over us when we sleep...but mine bit me... GIANNADES: The West Coast Hills (2 1/2 hours ***). Meet in Giannades Square, 10.00 for Think my Internet to slow at moment will try at my 10.30 start. Lunch at Tristrato. local shop( for a beer) thanks for my international NOTE: Perennial favourite with glorious views. acting launch in the agiot! Need to speak to my agent on performance royalties now, ( shit that's you) Saturday, 1 December STRINILAS: The Karst Plateau (2 hours ***). PF Meet at Strinilas Square, 10.15 for 10.30 start (no coffee) for short onward car journey. Lunch to be arranged. NOTE: Easy walking outwards; very rough underfoot return. Gorgeous views. ED: Fame comes at a price Darling. NOVEMBER 2018 SINCE AUGUST 2007 PAGE 3 Gooners Gags A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!" The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!" *** How do you know the ocean greets you? - It waves. *** I‘ve decided to run a marathon for charity. I didn’t want to do it at first, but, apparently, it’s for blind and disabled kids so I think I’ve got a good *** chance of winning. *** A letter in today's Telegraph: In my doctor's waiting room, there Secretary: “Doctor the invisible was a sign saying "Please queue man has come. He says he has an appointment.” here for a flu jab for over 65 years." Doctor: “Tell him I can’t see him.” *** *** When I see lovers’ names carved I asked my North Korean friend how it in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I was to live in North Korea. He said he can't complain. just think it's surprising how many *** people bring a knife on a date. *** Do you know why women aren’t allowed in space? To avoid scenarios like: "Houston, we have a problem!" "What is the problem?" "Yeah, great, pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about!" *** Continued on Page 4 NOVEMBER 2018 SINCE AUGUST 2007 PAGE 4 Gooners Gags - Continued from Page 3 Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother? My name is Paul. My wife divorced me recently because I’m a compulsive gambler. All I can think about now is how to win her back. *** NOVEMBER 2018 SINCE AUGUST 2007 PAGE 5 Hilary’s Ramblings Contributed by Hilary Paipeti The bizarre objects you find on a walk… The short blast took the heat out of the atmosphere, TRAMPING FIELDS AND WOODLAND WAYS, I've picked and indeed set us up for a Proper Autumn - cooler days up quite a collection of small vegetable knives, some with temperatures hovering in the low 20s (they'd call cheap and plasticky, and others with a bevelled blade this High Summer in the UK!), and a certain duvet- and brass-riveted wooden handles. It's logical that these inducing chill in the evenings as October proceeds. Still knives are sometimes left lying about, considering the not enough rain, though: By this date I should have been popularity amongst the country population of wild green feasting on wild greens from my garden for a couple of gathering. You set out with a supermarket carrier bag weeks now, but all remains desiccated. I haven't even and a small knife, and come home with a bulging bag of had to call in the Strimmer King for a prewinter tidy. delicious (but bitter) fresh leaves to boil, and without Of course, you realise what is likely to happen - a your knife, accidentally dropped, to lie in the long grass plunge into winter the moment I send in this article… awaiting my passing… Remembering Remembrance APPROPRIATELY, REMEMBRANCE SUNDAY falls on the exact 100th anniversary of the Armistice, on the 11th November. As usual, a brief service will take place in the British Cemetery, starting at 11.45 after the slightly shortened 10.30 morning worship. Afterwards, the British Consulate will host a reception for participants at Holy Trinity Church, which usually takes place in the garden (weather permitting). This is ONLY for those who came to the Cemetery service or both, and is definitely NOT for those seeking a free finger food nosh. I go every year to all three events. The last one I missed was in 1997, the excuse being that I was unavoidably on a plane to London in order to manage Corfu's But a soup ladle (a very nice one too, made of stainless promotional efforts at the World Travel Market, which steel with brass trimmings)? Found in a field very far began the next day. That Remembrance was the first from any potential campsite. I've also found a colander following the election of New Labour under the Blair (not in the same spot), but it was rusty and bashed, and Creature, who had decreed - perhaps in an effort to clearly was dumped as part of some war against mud. persuade the the-adoring populace that he was some And where did these come from: A single shoe? (Did its sort of patriotic figure, or maybe to demonstrate that he wearer not notice?) And a shoe horn, found on a was in full control of the country - that everything in the different walk? Both spotted well off any beaten track. country would come to a standstill at exactly 11am for I'm hoping to stumble across an unproverbial pot of the two minutes' silence. gold someday… Yes, we DID have an autumn IN THE LIGHT OF CONTINUING SUMMER WEATHER, I wondered in this column last month if we would see the return of 'summer to winter in one afternoon', such a feature of the 1990s, when Autumn went AWOL. The very day after I submitted my copy, cue the inevitable storm… Continued on Page 6 NOVEMBER 2018 SINCE AUGUST 2007 PAGE 6 Hilary’s Ramblings - Continued from Page 5 Squid intestines do you no harm, but they boast the unfortunately unappetising colour of a swollen sheep- Our very large contingent of Corfu travel agents and tick, and a rather spongy texture (if you have to think local politicians (and the one who did the work i.e. me) about it, instead of trying to force the bits down with a was waiting for our luggage as the clock hit the top of piece of bread to disguise their character). How we the hour. In an instant, everything came to a standstill. It managed to consume a squid apiece I do not know, but was just like that kiddie party game 'Statues' when you we did, refusing a second helping on the basis that we have to dance around until the music stops and then were eating elsewhere later. hold your pose (actually, not exactly; most people Fast forward to another family squid experience - immediately adopted a pious 'stand to attention' nothing revolting this time, just a huge disappointment.