Bully Prevention for a Parent What is bullying? o Bullying is when a person or group of people hurts, embarrasses, or frightens another person on purpose over and over again. A bully’s goal is to have power over people. What does bullying look like? o Name-calling o Hitting, kicking, pinching, tripping, shoving, slapping o Rude hand gestures o Mean or false email messages o Mean text message o Spreading rumors or lies o Teasing o Stealing or breaking someone’s things o Intimidation from certain groups o Put-downs o Threats and intimidation o Leaving someone out o Sexual harassment o Racist, sexist, or bigoted remarks Is your child being bullied? Some warning signs: o Loses interest in school, refuses to go o Wants to take a different route to school o Seems happy on the weekends but not weekdays o Suddenly prefers adult company o Frequent illness, nightmares, or insomnia o Come home with unexplained scratches, bruises, or damaged clothing o Seems withdrawn, anxious, fearful – won’t say what is wrong o Sudden behavior changes i.e. loss of appetite, stuttering o Wants to carry “protection” o Has few or no friends; is rarely invited to social events o Has started bullying others; is aggressive, rebellious, or unreasonable o Sudden interest in violent movies or video games o Talks about being picked on or avoiding certain areas of school o Talks about running away or committing suicide What to do if your child is being bullied o Stay calm § Project confidence that you, your child and the school will be able to work together to resolve the bullying situation o Find out what happened and keep a log of who, what, when, and where. o Contact your child’s teacher, school counselor or administrator as soon as possible. o Help your child learn to be “bully-proof” § Practice ways to stand, walk, talk, and cope with bullies. Help your child build skills to make and keep friends. Information to share when your child is a bystander? o Children who witness bullying but don’t say or do anything to stop it contributes to the problem. o Refuse to join in o If possible, stand up for the bullied child. Tell the bully, “Don’t treat him/her that way.” o Report all bullying to a teacher or school official o Never fight the bully. It is not safe and it will make the bullying problem worse, not better. What NOT to do if your child is being bullied o Promise to keep it a secret o Call the bully’s parents o Encourage your child to fight back o Blame your child for the bullying Is your child bullying others? Some warning signs o Has money/possessions that can’t be explained or claims they belong to a friend o Ignores or breaks rules, pushes boundaries o Behaves aggressively towards siblings o Is always determined to win, has trouble losing o Gets excited when conflicts arise between others and stays cool during own conflicts o Hides negative behavior, denies responsibility when discovered, or blames others for personal problems o Seeks to dominate or manipulate others o Seems to enjoy other people’s fear, discomfort, or pain; shows little or no empathy towards others o Has difficulty fitting into groups What to do if you think your child is bullying others? o Spend positive time with your child. Show interest in what is going on at school, with friends, and in the neighborhood. o Monitor television and electronic games o Supervise and set reasonable limits o Help with social skills § Practice new skills through role play § As the school about anger management or conflict resolution groups Additional Resources for information: www.stompoutbullying.org www.bullyfree.com .