Media Watch Telephone Psychics: Friends or Phonies? C. EUGENE EMERY, JR. he half-hour commercial on real name not be used), of Broomfield, discount everything the previous 'psy- television stations throughout Colorado, says she's seen a different chic friend' had told him, he wasn't Tdie country tells the story of a side of the Psychic Friends Network, buying it at all. [It wasn't] until I told man named "Giacomo," who became a run by Inphomation Inc. of Baltimore, him I had read in the cards that the regular customer of the Psychic Friends Maryland. For about six months, previous psychic had made a terrible Network after "Shekhinah," one of its beginning in November 1991, when mistake in computing his astrological seers, supposedly helped him find a the network was calling itself chart because of a power failure that missing address book. "Professional Psychic Counselors," had damaged her equipment with a After two months of additional Cook was one of its counselors. power surge, [only] then was he willing phone advice from Shekhinah, she She said she is no psychic. She was to take my advice, the advice of his per- advised him to avoid an important recommended for the job by her sonal counselor, his mother, and the business meeting. "I see darkness and teacher in a counseling class, who said prison chaplain" to read and abide by destruction," die commercial quotes Cook would be free to do traditional the restraining order. Giacomo's psychic friend as saying. counseling on the network. There was the January 8, 1992, call "Whatever you do, don't go to this But she quickly discovered that her from someone who identified herself as meeting." callers didn't want basic, commonsense Tonia in Winston-Salem, North So instead of attending the meeting, advice. They wanted supernatural Carolina. Tonia wanted to know Giacomo went to visit his parents and insights. whether her husband was going to beat friends in New Jersey. It was on the day When women called to ask if they her. Cook tried to convince her to call (February 26, 1993) terrorists detonated were pregnant, Cook tried to get them the emergency number 911. She also a bomb in die World Trade Center in to contact their local chapter of gave Tonia the names of churches that New York City. In die commercial, Planned Parenthood for a pregnancy might provide counseling. The Giacomo says the business meeting he test. Most rejected her advice. They woman's reaction: "I called for a read- was supposed to attend was held in die "weren't about to do something so ing. I want my reading!" So, Cook says, New York Vista Hotel in the World cheap and commonsense unless I told she concocted a tarot reading to back Trade Center. diem I read in the cards that die cards up her recommendation. "That call," he says, "saved my life." said they should go to die doctor and "Only when Tonia was thoroughly Giacomo's testimonial is followed by get their health checked out," she said. convinced the advice came from the die assurances of Grammy-award- According to Cook, one of her cards and not just some ordinary indi- winning singer Dionne Warwick that callers, who refused to accept his vidual did she seem inclined to access when you call the Psychic Friends divorce, violated a restraining order on the free resources already available to Network "You can be sure you're talk- the advice of a psychic on the hot line. her in her own community," Cook ing to one of the best psychics on earth. He was arrested. He said he was calling explained. Our psychics have the answers." from jail. Why was Tonia's husband so angry? "Joan Cook" (who asked that her Cook said: "When I told him to Cook says he had discovered that Tonia 14 SKEPTICAL INQUIRER • SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 1995 had racked up a $5,000 phone bill But Cook said a good chunk of well have spent over $24 by the time talking to "psychic" counselors. callers' phone time wasn't even spent the formalities associated with the free Dionne Warwick and the other pro- on talking to such seers. newspaper were dispensed with," said moters of die Psychic Friends Network When customers called die hot line, Cook. tell potential customers that, to benefit she said, they first had to listen to a (The three-minute introduction from die hot line, "all it takes is a tele- three-minute introduction. Then the Cook talks about is no longer there. phone and an open mind." hot line would begin playing recorded When I called Psychic Friends They neglect to mention money— profiles of various psychics so cus- Network on May 14, 1995, I got lots of money. tomers could choose one. People who through to die next available psychic in At four dollars a minute, an hour knew the code number for their a little less than a minute. But while with a Psychic Friends Network psy- favorite psychic could skip that part. some hot lines wait two minutes or so chic, astrologer, tarot-card reader, If the phone line of the psychic die to begin charges, charges on the dream interpreter, past-life reader, customer wanted to talk to was busy, or Psychic Friends Network kicked in ghost buster, or animal psychic will if the psychic was off duty, the cus- after a rapid-fire 17-second introduc- cost a whopping $240. tomer was stuck with the cost of listen- tion.) ing to the introduction. The psychics are paid well, but Gene Emery is the science writer for the Callers were then asked to sign up receive only a fraction of what the ser- Providence Journal-Bulletin, 75 Foun- for a free newspaper, which also ate up vice gets. Cook said that when she was tain St., Providence, RI 02902. phone time. "So die average caller may on die network the pay was as much as SKEPTICAL INQUIRER • SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 1995 15 $18 an hour. Psychic Shari Ford, quot- ing to a contract sent to one prospec- up the per-minute charges. "To be ed in an April 16, 1995, article in the tive psychic from the parent company, accurate, you need to do a little work Milwaukee Journal Sentinel said she Psychic Readers Network Inc. (PRN) tuning in." He compared a psychic earned $24 an hour at the same net- of Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. who does a quick reading to a doctor work. Under the system in use last May, if who tries to diagnose a medical prob- But the seers, who work from vari- the psychic hears five or six fast beeps lem from across the room. ous cities, and from their own homes, at the start of the call, he or she uses a The advisers are also told to "give had to buy their own phone line and script for the ASA Network. One long, positive and complete readings with use it exclusively for the hot line. They low-pitched buzz means the psychic lots of interesting detailed informa- used an 800-number (toll free) and a must use the telemarketing script for tion." password to signal a central computer the Philip Michael Thomas Nerwork. Warnings about impending crises or that they were ready to take calls. Both scripts, for people who have accounts of doom and gloom arc dis- Cook said many times the network dialed an 800-number (toll free) to couraged, said Stoltz. "Let's face it, it was so busy she had trouble finding a inquire about the service, require the could be wrong. We don't want to tell spare moment to call Inphomation psychic to entice each caller by saying: them they're going to die or they Inc. to give the code to go off duty. The "We have good news and important should get a divorce. It's not our place instant she hung up the phone, it information you need to know that to give people that kind of dire advice would ring again with the voice of a may be critical to your future." when there's always a margin of error." new caller seeking advice. Only after the callers give their According to documents sent to Her stint on the service ended name, address, and home phone num- prospective psychics, about five to nine abruptly, Cook says, after she got a call ber are they given a 900-number to call minutes into the reading, the psychics from Inphomation complaining that at $3.99 a minute. Beginning psychics are supposed to ask callers if they've she was telling people where to get free make 25 cents a minute, get no bene- signed up for the Philip Michael Thomas Network Psychic Membership Club. If not, they're supposed to "One self-proclaimed psychic I know who launch into yet another sales pitch, this auditioned for the network said she was time at the customer's expense. The guidelines also tell the readers, told by a company representative that "You can go to a maximum 30 to 38 psychic abilities didn't really matter." minutes, and before being cut off, you will hear a warning beep about two advice, she complained about the con- fits, can be fired for almost any reason, minutes before." tent of some of the network's advertise- and must make a toll call to Florida Stoltz said such cutoffs are designed ments, and gave a newspaper interview every day to relay the information to prevent a phone bill from getting so for an expose about the hot line.