Positive Sexual Consent An investigation into perception and communication of positive sexual consent in heterosexual couples in the UK By: Holly Giren Barnes-Bennetts SUBMITTED IN PARTIAL FULFILMENT OF A MASTERS BY RESEARCH AWARDED BY BOURNEMOUTH UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2016 Copyright Statement This copy of the thesis has been supplied on condition that anyone who consults it is understood to recognise that its copyright rests with its author and due acknowledgement must always be made of the use of any material contained in, or derived from, this thesis. Page 1 of 138 Abstract This research examines sexual communication and positive sexual consent shared by sexually intimate couples. Sexual consent here is defined as both, the internal choice to engage in a sexual act with another and the communication of that choice to that other concerned. Primary research comprised of conjoined interviews with six British, heterosexual couples between the ages of twenty one and thirty five. The methodological approach to the research was qualitative with a strong emphasis on participant lead interviews to ensure participants were able to relate their experiences freely and to minimise any risks of an oppressive process. Secondary research closely examined Sexual Script Theory and other primary research in the field from the past twenty years. Findings suggest that participants shared a good literacy of each other’s means of communicating their consent. A dominance of non-verbal, mostly physical means of communication were used by participants to express initiation and consent. The exception here was the use of clear verbal signals to express non-consent. Whilst some adherence to traditional sexual scripts was present, participants described a dominance of behaviours and attitudes that departed significantly by the gender norms ascribed by the traditional script. Other factors deemed important in the functioning of positive sexual consent in the participants relationships included creating acceptance of and space for non-consent and having conversations about sex apart from the act. The research concludes that perception and communication of positive sexual consent can be fluid within any given relationship and often departs partially or fully from the traditional sexual script. Page 2 of 138 Contents Copyright Statement .............................................................................................................. 1 Abstract .................................................................................................................................. 2 Acknowledgements ................................................................................................................ 5 Definitions of Terms ............................................................................................................... 6 Introduction ............................................................................................................................ 8 Literature Review ................................................................................................................. 10 Defining Consent .............................................................................................................. 10 Sexual Script Theory ......................................................................................................... 16 Internal Processes ............................................................................................................ 22 External Acts ..................................................................................................................... 27 Literature’s Implications for Research ............................................................................. 33 Methodology & Method ....................................................................................................... 34 Ontological, Epistemological and Methodological Position ............................................. 34 Method ............................................................................................................................. 38 Ethics ................................................................................................................................ 42 Quality .............................................................................................................................. 44 Review of Research Process ............................................................................................. 46 Recruitment .................................................................................................................. 46 Participants ................................................................................................................... 47 Interview Process ......................................................................................................... 48 Transcription................................................................................................................. 49 Findings & Discussion ........................................................................................................... 51 Findings............................................................................................................................. 52 Sexual Scripts ................................................................................................................ 52 Modes of Communication ............................................................................................ 61 Space for Non-Consent ................................................................................................. 71 Talking About Sex ......................................................................................................... 76 Analysis ............................................................................................................................. 79 Sexual Scripts ................................................................................................................ 79 Sexual Communication ................................................................................................. 88 Positive Consent’s Relationship with Non-Consent ..................................................... 93 Talking About Sex ......................................................................................................... 96 Conclusions, Limitations and Implications ........................................................................... 98 Conclusions ....................................................................................................................... 98 Limitations of the Research .............................................................................................. 99 Areas for Further Study and Implications ...................................................................... 101 Page 3 of 138 Reference List ..................................................................................................................... 103 List of Appendices............................................................................................................... 109 Appendix 1: Approved Ethics Document ........................................................................ 110 Appendix 2: Advertisement Flyer ................................................................................... 137 Page 4 of 138 Acknowledgements I would like to sincerely thank all of those whose contributions and support have made this research possible. To my mum, Vicky who insisted I fulfil this dream and to my husband, Phil who is always on my side, thank you! To my grandmother for her generous financial contribution to my fees, thank you! To my friends who have been endlessly supportive, inspiring and helpful particularly Emma, Hannah C, Jenni, Luke, Hannah B and Molly, thank you! To my supervisor Professor Ann Brooks for all you have contributed, thank you! To my old mentor, Ani who introduced me to a love of this particular branch of academia, thank you always! But most of all, to the wonderful twelve people who opened up and shared the intimate details of their lives with me, thank you, thank you, thank you! I value your contribution more than I can say and believe that your openness and honesty has contributed in some small way to creating something better. Page 5 of 138 Definitions of Terms The terms defined below clarify the meaning of words and phrases within the context of this work. Term Definition Cultural Scenarios Instructions received through the process of socialisation which informs people how to behave in a sexual situation dependant on their identity, particularly gender. Degrees of Sexual Intimacy Referring to the perceived levels of intimacy of any given act presuming genital penetrative intercourse or oral sex to be the most intimate. ECS (External Consent “behavioural or verbal indicators that externally express Scale) one’s willingness to engage in sexual activity” (Jozkowski, 2011:4) Including nonverbal behaviours, passive behaviours, communication and initiator behaviours, borderline pressure and no response Emotional/Interpersonal Involving communication, physical closeness, touching, Intimacy caressing or kissing for the relational, non-sexual purposes such as comfort or companionship Erotophilia Positive associations with sex as a consequence of positive experiences Erotophobia Negative associations with sex as a consequence of negative experiences FWBRs/Friends