PAGE 18 THE RETRIEVER FEATURES March 5, 1996 Listen Up: What You My Life As the Campus Informer Karen Keys Didn't Hear Last Year Retriever Editorial Staff Mike Duffy Erasure - Erasure: Dreamy Hello, Campus Information. How Retriever Staff Writer soundscapes permeate this supe- can I help you? rior outing from the duo of Andy I say these words in my best, sugary Bell and Vince Clark. The classic hundreds of albums are released sweet, yet sexy, phone voice. I say "Erasure" sound is all here, but co- eveiy year, but only a handful are them over and over and over again. production from a member of The chosen by record companies and At work, in my dorm room, even at Orb has layered Vince's signature fans to rise above the rest. Many other people's homes. I'm like one keyboard work under layers of of Pavlov's dogs when I hear that albums don't get the attention they generating pulses and ambient phone ring. Bleep-bleep for off-cam- need or deserve. You've heard synths, and produced one of their pus, bleep for on-campus. Alanis, Bush, and the Foo Fight- best albums to date. There's no I never realized just how stupid ers. I've compiled a list of 10 al- shortage of disco tracks to keep the bums which didn't get the fans happy, but the absolute people were before I started work- marketing or attention they de- standouts here are the slow tracks ing at the CIRC Desk. Of course, it served. Coincidentally, most of like "Stay With Me" and the 10- was called the Info Desk then. Ah, these albums are "fun," something minute "Rock Me Gently," which the good ol' days. that was missing from a lot of mu- bring Bell's beautiful lyrics and I do everything: parking appeals, sic last year. I urge you to check harmonies to a whole new level. banner and showcase reservations, them out; you could be surprised interior design, light cleaning, give by what you didn't hear. Heather Nova - Oyster: An directions, provide enlightenment, American female whose following inform, transfer callers, rent third Moby - Everything Is Wrong: began in England, this debut stu- floor UC rooms, take refund slips, The realms of techno, dance, dio album (she's released two live sort mail, run target vision, provide hardcore punk, blues, and new age ones) from Heather Nova is packed info on off-campus housing, and help combine in this extraordinary piece with great songs about love, lust, the losers find their possessions. I'm of genius that is (now former) and lost dreams. At times with a in the know, ask me any number, any techno artist Moby's major-label voice similar to Tori Amos, Nova's question. If I don't know the answer, i Benjamin Shayne / Retriever Staff I know who knows. debut. Everything is right on this album rocks with a sense of opti- Tricia Codline and Greg Hanks provide endless information to students at the CIRC desk. disc, where there is truly something mism and new-found adventure, CIRC staff are superhuman, all for everyone. A classic. such as on the stomper single, knowing, all powerful. We know how always have some great excuse all day, every day while the phones There's also the uncertain typeype vrrvrho "Walk This World." This album to get you where you want to go. You which they think I want to hear. I ring off the hook and people breathe questions everything, "I don't know Tears For Fears - Rtwul And deserves the attention Joan should love us, call us your friends. normally do — I like to see how cre- down my neck. You'd better let me if I'm calling the right place, and I The Kings Of Spain: Yes, they're Osborne received. But, no, sometimes you're really ative people can get. off, or I'll go psycho." At that point, don't even know their name or what still around, and yes, Roland bitchy and mean and it hurts. Here's the lowdown: once a year I'll whip the knife out and let'em I want or what to do in life. Can you Orzabal (now sole frontman after Echobelly - On: The second al- My number one pet peeve is when we can void a ticket which was is- know I mean business. Uh... I'm just help me? Can you just please help the departure of Curt Smith in bum from England's relatively new people call from the second floor UC sued for not displaying a parking per- kidding. me?" It's at that point that I transfer 1991) has made what is possibly rockers is 12 great tracks of "punch phone for numbers. We are right mit. Nothing else. Everything else On the other hand, the most fun them to the Counseling Center the best record of his career. Roland yourself music along the lines of around the corner, so the request goes through the Parking Appeals thing is the phones. 1 like to talk in (x2472). returns to his Spanish roots and Lush and The Popinjays. Sonya comes in stereo. We have caller I.D. Board which is comprised of three strange voices sometimes, like a Another type is the "I've got the more guitar-focused rock. Along Aurora Madan's vocals and lyrics We know where you are calling from. students and meets thrice a week. You Southern belle with a slight twist of wrong school type" who's been led with wonderful Spanish recall some of Morrissey's best Not to mention there's a big book can either write in an excuse or ap- Baltimorese, "Howdy. Campus In- to believe UM means one school. No- soundscapes and another duet with work, and the band fills the music with all the numbers on the side. pear before the board. Both are fer-mat-shun. How can I help ya, no: it's a system, a family. We're all Oleta Adams,' this one's hard to with enough energy to make you Along with stapler, a hole puncher weighted equally. You must appeal hon?" or like a dazed and confused children, each which different quali- beat.. wanna rock out! The sensible al- (the three-ring kind), tape, scissors, within 10 business days; you can ei- girl, spacing out all my words, "Hel- ties and personalities. We do not have ternative to Elastica. i I < and a pencil sharpener. All needs are ther mail in an excuse or stop by the lo .... Cam-pus ... Information .... a hospital, a business school, or the Black Grape - It's Great When fulfilled. CIRC on the second floor of the UC. How ... can ... I ... help ... you ....?" Terps. But, it's O.K. because we do You're Straight ... Yeah: Former Morrissey - Southpaw Gram- Often, I am out enjoying myself I say that little spiel about 10 to 20 But normally five lines are lit up and have the numbers to UMAB and Happy Mondays frontman Shaun mar. Speaking of the man, this al- with friends and people go, "Oh, times a week. for practical reasons it becomes, "Hi. UMCP, so I get them where they need Ryder returns with a new crew to bum was received poorly when it yeah, you're that Info Girl." I just It's O.K. I've only ever gotten one Info: Howcanlhelpyou?" to go like a dutiful CIRC girl. first arrived last September, but I v kick out the jams, and in the pro- smile and say, "Campus Informa- ticket, which was over the summer But, enough about me, the people Then there's the "Didn't dial 9' believe it ranks (no pun intended) cess slams through Arab-influ- tion." when I came for my CIRC training. on the other end are always more in- type." The CIRC also doubles as the among some of his best work. enced rock, reggae dub, reggae, O.K., the job is great, located in (My life is full of such ironies.) The teresting. There are several "types" campus operator and will switch over Mozz is at his best when he turns funk, and back again. With outland- the hotbed of a dull campus. I see ticket's still in my car. I'm just wait- that call. There's the condescending if you don't dial right. If you are ever up the amps, as. 1992's Your Arse- ish lyrics ("Jesus was a black man! friends and other people all day long, ing for the MVA to come after me. business type. "Hello, this is [insert this type, please don't just hang up. nal showed, and this album returns No! Jesus was Batman!"), and even interacting and aiding. But, Parking And they will. But, if I ever get an- name] from [insert company, then Mutter a quick, "Oops, wrong num- to that hard, driving, rock sound more outlandish music, it's better Appeals sucks the monkey. No one other ticket I'm going to be like, long winded b.s. title], I'd like to ber." Hang-ups are deeply upsetting; with a vengeance. The 10 minute than any of the Happy Mondays ever thinks they deserve a ticket, they "Look, buddy, I fill these things out speak to [insert faculty name]." you feel like nobody loves you. opening and closing epics only records and way more fun. A great Furthermore, lots of people need show more of his band's expansion party disc.