THE MERRY WIDOW Music by Franz Lehar Original German libretto by Victor Leon & Leon Stein English Adaptation by Richard Leighton VILLAGE LIGHT OPERA GROUP VERSION JANUARY 21, 2006 AMORE OPERA VERSION JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2010 JANUARY 17, 2010 REWRITES © Richard Leighton 1986/2005/2010 7427 Westlawn Ave. Los Angeles, CA 90045 310-670-2339 I-1 THE MERRY WIDOW ACT ONE (The Petrovedian Embassy, Paris, Evening. At CURTAIN, a party is in progress. NIEJUS directs activities. As CASCADA sings, BARON ZETA, VALENCIENNE (his wife) enter US, unseen by the guests. CAMILLE is seen trailing VALENCIENNE.) CASCADA: MY FRIENDS MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION I'M PROUD THAT THE DUTY'S MINE TO THANK OUR HOST, (BUT I'LL MENTION THAT SPEECHES ARE NOT MY LINE!) So, now, WITHOUT FURTHER DIGRESSION LET OUR SENTIMENT FIND EXPRESSION: TO OUR HOST, HIS QUEEN AND HIS COUNTRY ONE THOUSAND YEARS OF HEALTH TO YOU! ENSEMBLE: TO OUR HOST, HIS QUEEN AND HIS COUNTRY ONE THOUSAND YEARS OF HEALTH TO YOU! ZETA: MY DEAREST FRIENDS I CAN ASSURE YOU YOUR WORDS COULD NOT HAVE MOVED ME MORE BOTH AS A MAN WHO LOVES HIS COUNTRY AND AS ITS PROUD AMBASSADOR. THIS EVENING'S PARTY, I'LL REMIND YOU, IS NOT FOR GAIETY ALONE. IT BEARS MORE SIGNIFICANT MEANING AND PATRIOTIC OVERTONE. WE CELEBRATE MY SOVERIGN'S BIRTHDAY; OUR LOVE AND HONOR WE DECREE, WITHIN THIS EMBASSY THAT STANDS FOR PETROVEDIA IN PARIS! ENSEMBLE: WE CELEBRATE YOUR SOVEREIGN'S BIRTHDAY; OUR LOVE AND HONOR WE DECREE, WITHIN THIS EMBASSY THAT STANDS FOR PETROVEDIA IN PARIS! (ALL toast and merrily disperse, as BARON ZETA takes VALENCIENNE aside) I-2 MAJOR-DOMO: (announcing arrival): Lord and Lady Montague Mastiff of Devonshire! (Lord and Lady [MATILDA] Mastiff enter and greet ZETA and VALENCIENNE. MONTAGUE is doddering, ancient—MATILDA is young, rosey and Reubenesque. CASCADA comes up behind MATILDA, whispers in her ear, and MATILDA giggles.) MONTAGUE: Did I do something funny, m’dear? MATILDA: Oh, no, dear…It’s--the champagne…I think it’s just gotten to my head-- MONTAGUE: But you haven’t had any yet…. (A SERVANT sweeps by carrying a tray of filled champagne glasses. MATILDA grabs one and shows it to MONTAGUE. MATILDA and CASCADA exchange glances, and MATILDA quickly downs the champagne in one shot and she and her husband disappear into the party) ZETA (to VALENCIENNE:) Now, my gooseberry, you know your assignment: keep Chevalier Rosillion occupied, and far away from the widow when she arrives-- VALENCIENNE But, my party, creampuff— ZETA Niejus and I shall attend to the guests, sugarplum. In this time of crisis we all have our duties to perform, hmm? Now, run along, there's a good girl-- (VALENCIENNE leaves and joins CAMILLE, who proceeds to kiss her hand and fawn over her. ZETA and VALENCIENNE exchange glances, ZETA approving, VALENCIENNE despairing) MAJOR-DOMO: General and Madame Lars Gustaffson of Helsinki! (GENERAL LARS GUSTAFFSON and his wife, GERTA are greeted by ZETA. LARS is very elderly, but tall and straight-backed—GERTA is a young and statuesque Brunhilde. ST. BRIOCHE approaches GERTA, and she purposefully drops her handkerchief. ST. BRIOCHE picks it up and presents it to her—his face barely comes above her bosom. Entranced, he kisses her hand, then snaps to attention and salutes LARS.) GERTA: (to ST. BRIOCHE) Merci, Monsieur! Vous ete tres charmant! (to LARS) Isn’t he charming, dearest? LARS: Hmm. Not to be repetitive, but I find him excessively…French… (LARS and GERTA blend into the party. GERTA blows a quick kiss to ST. BRIOCHE, who “catches” it and presses it to his heart with bravado). I-2a ZETA Niejus! NIEJUS Yes, Excellency! ZETA We approaching "zero hour," Niejus. The widow should be here any moment. You know what you must do? Your prime directive? NIEJUS Yes, Excellency: "Keep the French away from the widow...and her money..." ZETA Shhh! Yes, exactly! And tactfully, Niejus, tactfully. Our alliance with France is very important to us in these troubled times-- NIEJUS Baron! I see that your wife is...doing her part...in maintaining alliances with the French... ZETA Hmmm? Oh, yes, just so, Niejus! Just look at how she's keeping that handsome young devil occupied. Ah, what a soldier!!! Valencienne is the apple of my eye, the light of my life! NIEJUS Er...yes, Excellency. MAJOR-DOMO: Count and Countess Camembert of Normandy! (COUNT JULES CAMEMBERT and his wife, COUNTESS FLORA CAMEMBERT, enter and greet ZETA. JULES is a slight, spry 80-year-old—FLORA is a buxom and earthy former showgirl. As before, CASCADA approaches FLORA from behind and whispers in her ear. FLORA laughs, then indicates for him to repeat it in her ear. She laughs again, then whispers in JULES’ ear. He laughs, and they both point at CASCADA and laugh. CASCADA blushes and retreats) JULES: Does he really think you would do that? FLORA: Chou-Chou, have you forgotten that summer on Lake Como? The rowboat? JULES: Eh? Oh!…oh, yes indeed!! (JULES and FLORA laugh and retreat into the party. VALENCIENNE manages to break free from the embraces of CAMILLE and hurries back to ZETA's side) ZETA And here she comes! (to VALENCIENNE:) Well, little general, how go the maneuvers, hmmm? (CASCADA, ST. BRIOCHE and the other FRENCHMEN start to mill about, closing in on ZETA and NIEJUS) I-3 VALENCIENNE Er...very well, I think, dearest. ZETA Excellent!! Just keep Rosillion occupied for a little longer, my dumpling. Madame Glawari should be here soon-- CASCADA Did I hear you say " Madame Glawari," Baron? ST. BRIOCHE Yes, see here, Baron Zeta, where is she? You promised she'd come. I mean, birthday cake and champagne are fine, but...I want to meet the most radiant and witty widow in Paris! CASCADA To say nothing of the richest!! ZETA She will be here soon, I assure you-- VALENCIENNE Have no fear, gentlemen. The Widow Glawari will arrive, as promised, before this party takes full flight. (The orchestra is heard playing ballroom music from within) CASCADA Ooh-la-la, just think! The widow of Petrovedia's richest banker, and beautiful to boot! ST. BRIOCHE I wonder what she's worth--exactly? What was in his will? CASCADA Some say he left 10, other's 50-- But, I have it on the very best authority that the sum is just over 20 million...pounds...sterling! ZETA How did you know that??? CASCADA Pas de tout, cher Baron Zeta; you know that in matters of gathering intelligence, we French are unsurpassed! I-4 NIEJUS [under his breath] Tell that to Napoleon! CASCADA Pardon, monsieur? ZETA Oh, nothing!...he just said that...it's a shame you're not Tyrolean. ST. BRIOCHE Twenty..million...pounds! Where does one keep so much money? ZETA In a safe place, have no fear-- CASCADA Yes, yes, all tucked away in vault #7 of the Petrovedian National Bank...we know that! ZETA Yes...er, quite so...an impregnable fortress!-- CASCADA To frontal assault, perhaps, Baron. But far from impregnable to a strategy of the heart-- ZETA Of the heart?? Oh, yes....of course...please excuse me, Viscompte...(to VALENCIENNE:) Quickly, sweetpea, get the Chevalier back to the party...I don't want him to hear this-- VALENCIENNE But, kumquat, as hostess I have other duties to attend to-- ZETA None, cherry blossom, as important as this you now perform! Please, be a good little soldier and do it for the Fatherland! VALENCIENNE Well, if you put it that way, plumcake-- ZETA I do, my tartlet. (to CAMILLE:) So, then, Chevalier, and you, too, gentlemen...won't you sample some of our superb Petrovedian cuisine? All washed down with the finest French champagne, of course-- CAMILLE Any meal served by the Baroness is food fit for the gods-- I-5 ZETA I'm so glad you think so. Yes. Well then, you two just...run along and enjoy yourselves, hm? CAMILLE Thank you, Baron, we will! (He sweeps away with VALENCIENNE) ZETA So, Viscompte Cascada, please continue....about the strategy of the heart?? CASCADA Oui, v'raiment! There is not a female heart that beats that cannot be conquered by a Frenchman, n'est ce pas? And the man who conquers the Widow Glawari's heart holds the key to the Petrovedian economy. (Beat) I mean, naturalment, her husband would get full control of her fortune, which is as it should be, of course! ST. BRIOCHE I'm not so sure, Cascada. The strategy may be sound, but there are those who say that it would be easier to storm the Bastille than to scale the walls of the Widow Glawari's heart-- CASCADA Hmm. An impossible mission for the infantry, perhaps, St. Brioche, but it should not prove too difficult for an officer of the cavalry-- ST. BRIOCHE Pooh, monsieur. We are not speaking of your usual romantic pursuits, Cascada. This is not some chubby, swooning wife of an English industrialist here on holiday-- CASCADA Nor is she one of your usual tarts from the Montparnasse, St. Brioche! ST. BRIOCHE Nor some ninny from Normandy, Viscompte! CASCADA Nor some floozie from Finlandia, Marquis! ST. BRIOCHE Saddlesore simpleton!!! CASCADA Flatfooted fop!!! ZETA Gentlemen, please!-- NIEJUS Let them kill each other!! I-6 ZETA This is a festive occasion, gentlemen. So, please, leave this for now and go inside with the rest of our guests. It's time to cut the cake-- ST. BRIOCHE But, see here, what about the widow? FRENCHMEN Yes, what about Madame Glawari? etc. ZETA Niejus will announce her as soon as she arrives, never fear! So, please, let us repair inside! CASCADA After you, monsieur Marquis! ST.