How to Do a Real Crossword Puzzle Or What’s a Four-letter Word for “East Indian Betel Nut” and Who Cares? By Stephen Sondheim There are crossword puzzles and cross- London Times and one is an American according to Ximenes, the current Dean word puzzles. The kind familiar to most adaptation of a puzzle from The Listener, of British puzzles: New Yorkers is a mechanical test of tire- a weekly publication of the BBC. For 1. Anagrams. These are indicated by lessly esoteric knowledge: “Brazilian pot- crossword fans who, out of fright, have some word or phrase such as “bad,” “torn,” ter’s wheel,” “East Indian betel nut” and never attempted solving cryptic clues and “confused,” “erratically,” “naughty,” the like are typical definitions, sending for those who have, but with limited suc- etc., words which imply that a mixture of you either to Webster’s New International cess, this article will serve as an initiation letters is to take place. The anagram is of or to sleep. The other kind, prevalent in ceremony, with some ground rules. the word or words actually printed, not Great Britain but inexplicably nonexistent In a British puzzle, definitions are called of synonyms. E.g., in “Wed a silly ad- in the United States apart from The Na- “clues.” This is not a pedantic distinction. mirer (7),” “silly” is the operative word. tion and an occasional Sunday edition of Each clue, in actuality, is in two parts—a A “silly” treatment of the letters in “ad- The New York Times, is a test of wits. definition (i.e., a synonym) and an ellip- mirer” would lead to MARRIED, which This kind of puzzle offers cryptic clues tical indication of the answer. In a scrupu- is defined by “wed.” Simple? Yes. Tricky? instead of bald definitions, and the plea- lously written clue these two parts are Yes. Fair? Yes. Try this one: “American sures involved in solving it are the deeply separate and distinct but blended in such confused by wide-screen movie (8).” (So- satisfactory ones of following and match- a way as to cause maximum confusion. lutions to these examples are at the end ing a devious mind (that of the puzzle’s (The clues in the London Times, inciden- of the article). And don’t forget, an ana- author) rather than the transitory ones of tally, are not always scrupulous.) Theo- gram can be of more than one word. Like an encyclopedic memory. retically, therefore, this kind of clue is “A snit is the most foolish basis for dis- To call the composer of a crossword an easier than the usual straightforward defi- agreement (10).” author may seem to be dignifying a gnat, nition because you get two indications of 2. Multiple meanings. This form of clue but clues in a “British” crossword have the answer for the price of one. But a combines two or more definitions (and not many characteristics of a literary man- good clue is a deceptive clue and may always the primary or most obvious defi- ner: cleverness, humor, even a pseudo- fool you. nitions) of the answer in a misleading aphoristic grace. In the best puzzles, styles The problem for the solver is that the way. E.g., “Fight enclosure in the theater of clue-writing are distinctive, revealing words in a clue may, if taken literally, (3)” may look baffling but is simply two special pockets of interest and small man- mean something quite different from their meanings of a single word strung together nerisms, as in any prose style. The clues apparent meaning. Here’s a clue, for ex- to make a peculiar set of associations. The of the author who calls himself “Ximenes” ample: “Stares at torn pages (5).” (Num- answer, as you’ve guessed, is BOX. In this in the London Sunday Observer are, to bers in parentheses following a clue are a type of clue, watch out for words that the eye of a puzzle fan, as different from conventional notation in British puzzles look like one part of speech but turn out those in, say, The Manchester Guardian as and indicate the number of letters in the to be another. “Deliver from bar (4)” Wilde is from Maugham. But a “Bantu answer, saving you the bother of counting leads to SAVE in two senses: “deliver hartebeest” remains a “Bantu hartebeest” squares in the diagram.) “Stares at torn from” and “bar” (as a preposition mean- whether it’s in The New York Times or pages” may suggest at first glance some ing “except”). The Daily News. obscure term in bibliophilia, but what 3. Reversals. These clues lead to words Railway coaches, undergrounds, lunch the phrase really means is “A word mean- which, when read backwards, form other counters and offices in England hum with ing ‘stares at’ whose letters are those of words. Indications like “reflex,” “looking the self-satisfied chuckles of solvers who ‘pages’ out of their normal order.” In back,” “from East to West” (in the case suddenly get the point of a clue after however veiled a way, that is literally what of Across words), and “upwards,” “doing having stared at it for several baffled it says. “Stares at” is a synonym for a headstand,” “rising” (in the case of minutes. Bafflement, not information, is GAPES; “torn,” in this context, means Down words), are what you should be on the keystone of a British puzzle. A good “separated with violence so that the parts the alert for. E.g., “Emphasized trifles—in clue can give you all the pleasures of are out of their normal order.” So there a roundabout way (8).” Here there is being duped that a mystery story can. It are two separate and distinct references a small extra deception in that “trifles” has surface innocence, surprise, the reve- to GAPES, one a definition and one an doesn’t refer to trivia but to desserts, lation of a concealed meaning, and the elliptical description of the way the word which, when looked at “in a roundabout catharsis of solution. Solving a British is formed. Your problem is merely to way” are STRESSED, which means “em- puzzle is far more rewarding than dredg- punctuate the clue in an odd way: “Stares phasized.” Two or more words may be ing up arcane trivia and is not annoyingly at torn ‘pages’.” reversed, too, of course. As in “Push difficult once you’ve been initiated into Mental repunctuation is the essence of through the District Attorney—otherwise the methods of solution. It’s a matter of solving cryptic clues. Punctuation in ordi- he lies back (8).” Get it? Well, first try to mental exercise, not academic clerk-work, nary writing is a guide telling the reader decide which is the definition part of the and all it takes is inexhaustible patience, where and how long to pause. But the clue. Still don’t get it? Look at the answer limitless time and a warped mind. clue-writer, instead of trying to make the at the end of the column. On the following pages are two puzzles true meaning clear, is trying to hide it. 4. Charades. These lead to words which of this sort. One is a reprint from the There are seven basic kinds of clues, fall into convenient complete parts. Originally printed in New York Magazine, April 8, 1968 1 Here’s an example from Ximenes: “Re- “Ethyl alcohol is one way to kill a fish if ways look for the possible literal meaning mains precisely how he is (5).” You prob- you listen closely (6).” Ethyl alcohol is of a clue. ably wouldn’t think of “remains” as a noun SPIRIT (yes, “spirits” can be singular)— Well, if you’ve slogged through the un- in this context, but that’s the definition. listen to it closely. dergrowth of all this logodaedaly (a word And the answer is ASHES. “How he is” 7. Hidden. These clues are both the worth going to the dictionary for) and are becomes “As he’s”—the whole word is a easiest to solve and the most deceptive. still unruffled, it should give you a start phrase in itself. Here’s another: “One in They involve burying the answer in the (pun meaning both “beginning” and “un- flames made a landing (4).” “One” = a, “in letters of the clue—either within a word pleasant surprise”). In the Listener-type flames” = lit, “made a landing”= ALIT. or as a bridge between words. In point puzzles which will appear on these pages, Here’s one: “Sinister purpose of an auc- of fact the answer stares you so innocently the solving of clues is only part of the tion? (10).” (Question marks and excla- in the face that you often don’t see it. task. Each of the puzzles has a gimmick mation points at the ends of clues usually Watch out for indications like “seen of some sort which is fully explained in indicate some form of pun or outrageous in,” “within,” “containing,” “found in,” the Instructions accompanying the dia- misuse of meaning). “some of.” E.g., “This girl appears in gram. Be prepared for odd shapes, sizes 5. Container and contents. This type of black at every party (4).” Can you see and problems. Sometimes, for example, clue resembles the Charades type in hav- KATE there staring out of “black at the words you enter into the diagram (or ing wholes and parts, but the parts are every”? Or “Beg for a piece of an apple “lights,” as the British call them) are not outside and inside instead of side by side.