I The Magazine For Sheffield 23,000 copies • Est. 1991 • February 2020 • www.grapevinesheffield.net Castleton Photograph by Ian Macgill Sleeping With Soldiers Garden Offer My Thunderous Life Love On Our Farm Men Itching For Action - p.24 Discount On Landscaping - p.13 Weather Watcher - p.46 Valentine’s Night Dinner - p.9 Wedding Fayre Say No To Floods SALE: Carpet Bargains Crosspool Clocks Tapton Hall, March 24th - p.31 Draining When It’s Raining - p.18 Factory Clearance - p.14 Garage Timepieces - p.20 Factory direct • designer kitchens at unbeatable prices S E I D WINTER SALE U T NOW ON S • S M O O R D E B • WHY DKD? S Unique designs, unbeatable quality & prices N ! ! #'&!##' '#$$#'#$&!' &!$%!%'!! $& '#' ""'%$ &"%%!''!$#&! "& " $%"''%"'%"'#' '&$&!#%'$%' %% $&'%"'& ! ! #$'&"&&!'#'#$&"#%"' "#$&$"&'# #$& E "& "&' '&'$%$%$'&!#'!#$&'&"&$'$%'%"'&&! "&&'!! ' &' "&' '$%'#!#$'%'& !"& '$&' '%'#& '" ' !' '%"'%$'%!$'%$#%!' %"#'$%'%" H &!%&'"##$'&!#&"'#$&! $' ! ' &$ '!#&'!$&'%"'%%"'!' '$&& "' "" $ &'$&'#"!$'!$&'#'"& $#'%"'"& '#$&'' #'#$%'%" ' #&$!' '" &"!'#'!$ '$&'$&!$'%'$#&''!%# !'%"'$&&%&'!'$%'%%' '"&&'!"&' C !' '!#&!'"%#&' '#"' !&'%"'! !' &'%'%"'&!#&"!'#'"#'%"'#& !'$%'#&''"& $#' ' "'%!!'%%"!' "&' #$&'!#'$#&' &"!'%'' &"'$% !' !!#!$#'%'#'%%!#' T %%"!'!$&' ' %$'' &!"&' ' #$'" &'##! I 5 star rated business Reviews Millennium House, 30 Junction Road, Sheffield S11 8XB K 0114 3491 454 designer direct designer direct • aggis and mashed turnip. Then deep-fried state secrets - not that I’m aware of any.” Mars Bars for afters. Scottish cuisine is “Smith, I suspect that a demented insect has climbed Hrenowned throughout the world, and will inside the padlock and is making the racket. Dunk that be thoroughly enjoyed at Burns’ Night celebrations device in water for an hour or two. Drown the noisy on January 25th. little blighter.” Until a few days ago I believed England could My suggestion was of no use. Clicking continued never compete with Scotland’s unique delicacies, while the padlock was submerged, so Smith but while waiting to be served in a Sheffield chip wrapped it in cloth and placed the thing within shop I was amazed to hear what a lady behind a wooden box. the counter had to say. Days later the noise could still be heard. “Every Friday,” she told me, “one of our customers Eventually, my old chum began seeking answers buys what he says should be England’s national dish... online, and discovered that the padlock a hot Pukka Pie sandwich.” - which he was given years ago - has an Thoughts of its meaty juiciness set my taste buds integral alarm. Neither he nor I had ever heard and imagination tingling. Scots talk to the haggis on of such a thing, and as I write the clickety-clicking Burns’ Night, so I see no reason why English folk continues. Hopefully, the padlock’s atomic battery should not give a formal dinner-table address to the will run down in ten or 20 years. Pukka Pie sarnie on April 23rd (Saint George’s Day). ! Owners of hounds usually scoop-up their ! The Russians are unlikely to be bugging pets’ deposits while taking them for walks, but often your property, but it could happen. My old chum are less fastidious at home. A gardener recently Mr Smith rang last week and said a high-pitched told me he regularly turns down work because clicking was being emitted by the padlock on his householders think it is okay to let their dogs out of garden shed. the back door to deposit piles of excrement in “Like a geiger counter and Morse Code,” was how flowerbeds and on the grass. he described the sound. “It’s obviously a listening “It’s disgusting,” the green-fingered fellow said. device that has gone haywire. But why would “There’s no way I’m going to have my lawnmower, President Putin want to eavesdrop on my shed?” spades and rakes smeared with crap. I’d looked after “Dunno,” was my reply. “Depends a garden for 20 years, but then my customer’s daughter what goes on in there. Do you still talk bought two dogs and let them do their business all over to your bedding plants?” the place. Her dad was most put-out when I told him “Yes, though I don’t tell them any he’d have to find another gardener.” Ian Macgill I editor 421 London Road,G rapevineSheffield S2 4HJ Magazine 0114 258 3131 www.grapevinesheffield.net Want to extend your home? TILING • PLASTERING • VENETIAN POLISHED PLASTER Need help with planning or building regulation drawings? Millhouses Design Limited is an architectural practice specialising in new­house builds, home extensions and loft conversions. 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His electricians were J roperties need their electrical circuitry testing every ten very skilled, and had lots of experience. years after a rewire, to check that it is safe and up to date I thought they were absolutely excellent.” with the latest regulations. Power-hungry appliances that people use nowadays place a great strain on consumer units (fuseboxes), and much of our work involves replacing them - after 9 Our faultCustomers detectors highlighted in Ecclesall a dodgy cable P 1 which the circuits they control need testing every five years. 0 buried beneath sweet peas in the garden of a 2 We specialise in sorting out minor electrical problems, as well as T family’s house at Ecclesall, plus a nail hammered adding extra sockets, and lighting inside or out. Perhaps you will be S into a live cable... under a bedroom carpet. U featured in our Grapevine round-up at the end of 2020. G Detecting electrical faults is fairly easy, but locating U them can take a day or more. During this job a Borden’s A has electricians on duty 24-hours-a-day, great many floorboards had to be lifted. who are happy to carry out minor repairs 9 9 , of Dore 1 1 Alan Brown 0 0 “I’m fairly good with electrical work, but didn’t Hellen Tillotson, of Ranmoor 2 Since 2016 we have gradually replaced 50 halogen spotlights with 2 feel confident enough to install a new R Y LEDs at Helen’s apartment. The main problem with halogen lights E R lighting control. I was sure Borden’s would is that about 90% of the energy they consume generates heat, B A sort everything out because they’d done M U which makes them fire hazards. The other problem with these E R jobs for me before. I’d asked Dave to fit lights - as Hellen well knows - is that they need replacing time T B a new fusebox after reading one of his P E and again. “I’m only 5ft tall,” she says, “and though I changed some E F columns in Grapevine.” S of the bulbs, I decided it was safer to call in Borden’s.” 9 1 9 Lorraine“We had variousand Jim,electrical of problems,” Ecclesall Peter and Ruth White, 0 1 2 0 says Lorraine, “such as light bulbs blowing in of Ecclesall 2 says Peter, “We have,” “been using the services the kitchen. Borden’s men were really R H E of Borden’s for almost three years. The first job C nice blokes, and seemed very trustworthy. B R they did for us was swopping halogen spotlights in We’re glad that our wiring now has a clean O A T our kitchen for LEDs.