Page 39 The Truth Not Desirable! Trigonometry George Washington was a big tall guy, Customer: "What y'got ter eat?" Negro Lawyer: "So this man is ac- Who never told a wicked lie, Waiter: "Rlince pie, lemon pie, cused of bigotry-of having three In fact he was the only skate, 'n custard pie!" wives." Who never did provaricate. Customer: "Gimme some mince Negro Judge: "Bigotry-that's not The rest of us are not so tall, pie 'n some lemon pie." what I 'd call it-I'd call it trigonome- And never tell the truth at all!! Waiter: (with an injured air): try." - "Wot th' hell's the matter with the Leap Year! A Last Appeal custard?" As they sat alone in the twilight, A Southern darliey, condemned to Old Fashioned She said, as she smoothed his brow; die on the gallows, addressed the fol- Liza and Fannie were discussing "Darling I know my life's been fast, lowing letter to the Governor : their Sunday night dates. But I'm on my last lap now." "Dear Governor: "Yes mum. I done had me a neckin' The white folks is gmine to hang party last night!" nle on Monday and here it is Friday. "Xeckin' party? Law chile, don't Its So! All the world loves to see a hard Yours truly-" you know them is out of style? They . boiled old bachelor, get hooked by a had them 4,000 years ago." A Lesson "How you done know they had them clever woman! "This will certainly be a lesson to 4,000 years ago?" me", said the old darkey as the noose "Cause my mammy done told me Economy! was placed around his neck. that the Bible says that King Solomon "Oh papa, I saved three cents to- took the Queen of Sheba into the ban- day. I ran all the way to school be- An Old-New Song quet hall and he fed her wine and hind a street car." Four and Twenty blackbirds, nectar!" "For shame Abbie-you should Awfully dry, have run behind a bus and saved a Went to Canada to get some rye. The Newest Ford Joke dime." When the rye was opened, Those birds began to sing, -4 man speeding in a Cadillac on Don't Be a Poor Fish Where the H-- is Volstead, a main highway was passed by a A story is going the rounds of a God save the King! new Ford, and was unable to pass man who had a fish-tank divided into the Ford in turn. two sections by a glass partition. In Questioned Veracity? His amazement was increased one side he put a lively 'bass; in the when the man in the new Ford There was once a man who was other a number of minnows. called out: "Say, do you know such a big liar, that he had to have Every time a minnow came up to anything about the new Fords?" his neighbors call his hogs to dinner. the glass partition the bass made a "No I don't", returned the driver They wouldn't believe him. strike. Then with a bruised head, the of the Cadillac. bass got discouraged and waited pa- "Well, I've got to find somebody A Case? tiently each day for the food dropped who'll show me how to shift this A lawyer once told us that the most in from above. thing from second to high. I'm The man took out the partition, .difficult case he ever tried was a case just learning to drive it." sf champaigne. The minnows swam around the bass and mere not touched. The bass was What He Was Paid For Noah and Publicity thoroughly sold on the idea that busi- uess was bad. A traveling man called up the sta- The railway line was flooded on ac- Talie another lunge at the glass par- tion agent, an hour before train time count of the heavy rainstorms, and tition. It isn't there.-The Church- and asked if the train was on time. the traveler was obliged to break his man. He was told it was. journey at a village. He made his Arriving at the station a few min- way in the pouring rain to an inn, and utes before it was due to arrive, he said to the waiter there. "It is. like the MIGHT AS WELL! saw it was marked up an hour late. Deluge." Pat was on a sinking ship and was He went into the station and to the "The what?" n.atching with interest the frantic ticket window. "The Deluge. Haven't you read passengers grabbing life preservers, "I thought you told me that train about the Deluge-Noah and the Ark putting them on and jumping over- . was on time?" and Mount Ararat?" board. "Shure," said he, "if every- "I did tell you it was. What do "No sir", said the waiter, "we ain't body is stealing, I can too." Imme- you think the railroad is paying me had no papers here for three days." diately he picked up a heavy piece for anyway-to knock their bnsiness?" -Epworth Herald of iron and jumped overboard with it.'' RAPID WORK AT SHOPS Charter Members of Auxiliary to Local No. 6 Springfield Men Proud of Repair Record on Cylinder Head RISCO passenger engine No. 1601 on train No. 9, met with a pe- F culiar accident while in service near Chandler, Oklahoma, February 10, 1928. The right piston rod broke just ahead of the crosshead, causing the piston to knock out front cylinder head and in so doing, two-thirds of the front of the cylinder rim was broken off, valve chamber front cracked, and one of the bridges in valve chamber was broken in two places, with a horizontal crack about a foot long in the exhaust chamber. The engine was sent to the North Springfield Roundhouse, and was turned ovef to Mr. W. F. Brandt, gen- eral foreman for examination and re- pairs. The broken cylinder mas prepared for welding or brazing and wood pat- terns were made for cast iron patches to replace the broken end. A small auxiliary patch was first cast and brazed in to replace the broken valve chamber bridge. Then two large castings, weighing fifty and eighty Lrft to right, fop row: Mrs. Jrssie W. Bryant, presidcilf: J1r.s. Javrcs Proctor-. vicc-prrsidrr~tnrtd ildrs, D. C. Car~ady,secretory. pounds each were applied and ox- Bottoril row: Mrs. Cog IVadlr~r,frcostirrr, Mrs. Hcrirturr Lipc nrrd 311-s. lill~ert welded to cylinder with brazing Haggord. bronze. These castings were rein- forced by being brazed to the bridges HE LADIES' AUXILIARY to than a house to make a home. There in the steam ports. Local No. 6, Monett, Mo,, has must be love, courtesy and co-opera- The patterns for the castings were T been functioning during the tion between parents. There must be made, the cylinder was chipped, pre- winter months with socials and harmony in the home before we un- pared and the castings set for weld- dances. At one of the meetings, Mrs. dertake any work outside our homes. ing. The cylinder and valve chamber Bryant, president of the club, in an Therefore, it is, or should be, our mas also bored and faced after weld- address spoke of the aims of the or- aim to take the spirit of playing the ing. ganization in part, as follows: game into our hames. Then when The work was finished February "It is not our intention to meet to- hardships come we will be more cour- 24 and the engine made a double- gether just to have a happy-go-lucky ageous in facing them. header trip to lMemphis that ni,ght, time. We meet together because we "We, as fellow-workers, want to and on its return from Memphis went are interested in our husbands and meet all of our co-workers with a t on through to Tulsa, Okla., with a their work. We want to understand warm handclasp and a word of cheer large special train carrying an opera Lhe conditions under which they work and understanding. Every man's or company. The repaired cylinder gave so that we, as wives, may fit ourselves woman's work in our organization is no trouble and was pronounced 100 to the conditions that arise in our of importance, therefore, we want to per cent eflicient. daily lives. We want our husbands put forth every effort to make it one This was probably the first job of to feel that we are truly interested of the most harmonious on the Frisco its kind to be performed on any rail- in them and that we appreciate their System. If we do our work well we road, and caused much interest efforts as bread winners. not only work to our own interest, among the mechanics in the shop. It "Every woman in our auxiliary rep- but to the interest of our Frisco. required 140 pounds of brazing metal resents a home and most of the aux- Therefore, let's clothe ourselves in to perform the work. iliary members are mothers. Houses the spirit of good fellowship and work . Repairs of this kind represent quite are built to live in, but it takes more to the interest of all concerned." . a saving, both of time and money, as the cost of this repair job was not moving and applying a new cylinder. about $1,400.00 and its application as much as the labor alone of re- The cost of a new cylinder would be about $600.00.