The Bad Kitty List --- Shower Time --- .......................................................... 21 --- Introduction --- .................................................................... 1 --- Tub Time --- ................................................................ 22 --- Fill In the Blanks --- ............................................................ 1 --- Bodily Functions --- .......................................................... 23 --- [xxx] is not a bed: --- ..................................................... 1 --- Gas --- ......................................................................... 23 --- [xxx] is not prey/a toy: --- ............................................. 2 --- Inappropriate “Friskiness” --- ..................................... 23 --- I recognize that the [xxx] has a right to exist: --- .......... 2 --- Inappropriate Litter Boxes --- ..................................... 23 --- I will not climb the [xxx]: --- ........................................ 2 --- Peeing ---..................................................................... 24 --- I will not dunk [xxx] into my water dish: --- ................. 2 --- Pooping --- .................................................................. 26 --- I will not hide [xxx]: ---................................................. 2 --- Spraying --- ................................................................. 27 --- I will not jump on the [xxx]: --- .................................... 2 --- Vomiting --- ................................................................. 28 --- I will not pee/poop/barf a hairball on the [xxx]: --- ....... 2 --- Miscellaneous --- ........................................................ 29 --- I will not sharpen my claws on the [xxx]: --- ................ 2 --- Christmas Related --- ........................................................ 31 --- I will not try to climb into the [xxx]: --- ........................ 2 --- Destroying --- ................................................................... 32 --- Annoying/Embarrassing Habits --- ..................................... 3 --- Food / Water --- ................................................................ 37 --- Bathroom --- .................................................................. 3 --- [xxx] is not Cat Food: --- ............................................ 37 --- Destroying --- ................................................................ 3 --- [xxx] is not Food --- .................................................... 37 --- Escaping --- ................................................................... 3 --- Hampering --- ............................................................. 38 --- Food/Water --- ............................................................... 4 --- Liquids --- ................................................................... 38 --- Forbidden Places or Activities --- .................................. 5 --- My Human's Food --- .................................................. 40 --- Games --- ....................................................................... 6 --- Other Critters' Food ---................................................ 43 --- The Great Outdoors --- .................................................. 6 --- Rejection/Overenthusiasm --- ..................................... 44 --- Gross --- ........................................................................ 7 --- Stealing --- .................................................................. 45 --- Hampering --- ................................................................ 8 --- (Supposedly) Edible --- ............................................... 46 --- Hiding --- ....................................................................... 8 --- (Supposedly) Inedible --- ............................................ 47 --- High-Tech --- ................................................................. 9 --- Vegetables --- .............................................................. 49 --- Human-Related --- ........................................................ 9 --- Miscellaneous --- ........................................................ 49 --- Mess Making --- .......................................................... 12 --- Games/Playing --- ............................................................. 50 --- Misuse/Misappropriation of Items --- ......................... 12 --- Gross! --- .......................................................................... 52 --- Night Time --- ............................................................. 13 --- Hampering --- ................................................................... 54 --- Noise --- ...................................................................... 13 --- High-Tech --- .................................................................... 62 --- Not All There --- .......................................................... 14 --- Human-Related --- ............................................................ 67 --- Other Critters --- .......................................................... 15 --- Mess-Making --- ............................................................... 78 --- Personal Comfort ---.................................................... 15 --- Miscellaneous --- .............................................................. 86 --- Toys --- ........................................................................ 16 --- Misuse/Misappropriation of Items --- ............................... 87 --- Vets, Illness, Medicine ---............................................ 16 --- Night-time --- .................................................................... 90 --- Bathroom Misbehaviour --- .............................................. 16 --- Noise --- .......................................................................... 101 --- Annoying Habits --- ..................................................... 16 --- Not All There: Dangerous Dumbness --- ........................ 105 --- Bath Time --- ............................................................... 16 --- Not All There: Miscellaneous Strangeness --- ................ 110 --- Bodily Functions --- .................................................... 17 --- Not All There: Weird Fears --- ........................................ 115 --- Destroying --- .............................................................. 17 --- Not All There: Weird Obsessions and Habits ---............. 116 --- Eating/Drinking --- ...................................................... 17 --- Other Critters: Birds --- .................................................. 120 --- Hampering --- .............................................................. 18 --- Other Critters: Cats --- .................................................... 121 --- Human-Related --- ...................................................... 18 --- Other Critters: Dogs --- ................................................... 126 --- Mess Making --- .......................................................... 19 --- Other Critters: Rodents --- .............................................. 129 --- Misuse or Misappropriation of Items --- ..................... 19 --- Other Critters: Miscellaneous --- .................................... 130 --- Night Time --- ............................................................. 19 --- Plants --- ......................................................................... 133 --- Noise --- ...................................................................... 20 --- Sleeping/Personal Comfort --- ........................................ 134 --- Not All There --- .......................................................... 20 --- Toys --- ........................................................................... 137 --- Other Critters --- .......................................................... 21 --- Vets, Illness and Medicine --- ......................................... 139 --- Potty Time --- .............................................................. 21 --- Contributors --- ............................................................... 142 --- Introduction --- This is a list of things cat ownees would have their pets write on the blackboard, like Bart Simpson, if they could get them to write. This list was begun September 20, 1993 and is copyrighted by Harold Reynolds (the creator and maintainer), though animal shelters may use it for fund raising purposes. PDF file generated September 3, 2007. Latest update: May 31, 2018. --- Fill In the Blanks --- --- [xxx] is not a bed: --- any book/paper my human is reading; anything lying on the floor that wasn't there 5 minutes ago; inside the neighbour's car (the 1 window down is NOT an invitation); inside the open dryer; my human's head; my human's sock drawer; my next-door neighbour's Corvette; neatly stacked papers or magazines; piano strings; the bathtub; the box full of printer paper (especially when the printer is running!); the cake for the wedding shower. (It was a sheet cake in a box with plastic over the top. Hershey decided it made a wonderful hammock. Thanks to the plastic, no cat hair, but a fair number of smooshed frosting roses!); the car; the clean clothes basket; the computer keyboard; the crystal bowl from the people's wedding; the dog's belly, feet, or head; the electric organ; the external disk drive; the grate over the floor furnace; the dress my human intends to wear (Juliet will climb right on top of it, lie down and refuse to budge!); the